......also some Journalings about my psychic experiences.
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my life after Near Death Experiences: 12/01/2004 - 12/31/2004
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Wednesday, December 29, 2004

This earthquake!

This is an "open asking plea", this letter, this article, to Ask if any psychics or prophets have foreseen this event, beforehand, in visions, dreams, or by channeled Guidance?!
--I see psychics all of the time give detailed foreseeing on what a certain movie star will wear, in the latest clothing style, next year, or that maybe the winter will be cold in England, but since this tidal wave is SO immense in "psychic trauma" to the earth and to its people, surely someone has had omens...Premonitions...Or outright visions, for this!! Events such as of this one will cast a "shadow backwards in time", and sensitives may pick it up months and years beforehand!

the earthquake.
--the media keeps saying that it occurred on Sunday, the 26th. That time is repeated like of a mantra, no one realizes that this is "local time"! It occurred on
for most of the west!!
Sunday, December 26, 2004 at 00:58:53 (UTC) - Coordinated Universal Time
[greenwich time, London, england]
Sunday, December 26, 2004 at 07:58:53 AM local time at epicenter
North America:
Saturday, December 25, 2004 at 09:28:53 PM (NST) - Newfoundland Standard (St. John's)
Saturday, December 25, 2004 at 07:58:53 PM (EST) - Eastern Standard (New York, Toronto, Jamaica)
Saturday, December 25, 2004 at 04:58:53 PM (PST) - Pacific Standard (Los Angeles,
so here on the east coast of america this occurred on Christmas day! Even in Europe, much of the Time was still before midnight, still on xmas day!
need I say more?! Do I need to ramble on about "oh how *could* this event happen on the Day of Gifts, and of the day of the Gift of Jesus birth!
[dark ruminations: this event IS a gift, as soon, in months or in a year or so, the living will envy the dead, all over the world!!]

this here "redwood tree" surely must have cast a shadow back in Time?!

for instance:
---in the town seat in the county next to Tallahassee, is the town library. On the wall of this library is a mural painted by the high school kids. The mural depicts the trade center event of 9-11. They got it right, the burning towers, the airplanes.....But hey, I found a internet copy of the article, so here it is, in full...
Posted Oct 10.01

Workers Say Kids Mural Eerily Prophetic
[Original headline: Children's mural seems to contain prophecy]
Jimmy DeVane walks right past it about a half-dozen times a day on his way in and out of the emergency management division at the Gadsden County Sheriff's Department.

He's often noticed those beautiful bold colors that tell funny stories about children's nursery rhymes in the mural on the wall at the local public library. Both the sheriff's department and the library share the same building.

DeVane said he always thought that work of art was eye-catching. But DeVane never thought it was eerie, until he took a closer look a few days ago.

"Now that's pretty darn distinctive don't you think?" DeVane asked. "I've come by here for years . . . and little did I realize what the value of this would be some day."

Scared looking at it
Other workers in the building and folks from around the Quincy community have been strolling by to take a gander at what's being called a haunting, almost prophetic section of the children's mural. To some onlookers it appears to be a depiction of the World Trade Center towers. Look closely and you'll find a jet plane that appears to be approaching the buildings.

"It looks just like the World Trade Center used to look to me," said Rose Wilson, a county maintenance worker. "It made me scared when I looked at it a few days ago, and it makes me scared looking at it right now!"

Faces of people peer through the windows. Some appear to be leaping from the buildings. There's also what looks like a little demon with a pitchfork standing next to the first tower just below the jet.

"Look at that! It's almost the exact pictorial replica of the jet that crashed into the first tower that day," DeVane pointed out.

Expressing themselves
Some bystanders say what's really spooky about the mural is when they realize that children from the community actually painted it five years ago. County librarian Jean Mock remembers when the kids started turning the concrete canvas into their work of art in 1996.

"The children did this after reading a series of books. They were basically expressing themselves in response to what they read ," Mock recalled. "Lately, some people said they found that part of the mural unsettling, but it's not that way to me at all. To me, it looks like it could be part of a story about King Kong."

Most of the children involved in the mural project have since graduated high school; some have relocated to other cities.

What were they thinking?
DeVane still believes the vivid imaginations of children might have turned out to be a vision.

But "this" is what makes art so awesome to Mock.

"There's no way to tell what those children were thinking that day the mural was painted," she said. "That's what makes art so great. Beauty, as they say, is in the eyes of the beholder, and there are no definitive answers."

? Story originally published by:
Tallahassee Democrat FL / | Carmen Cummings - Oct 06.01

All Copyrights© are acknowledged.

there. An example of this, surely the psychics amongst you all have had, or know of someone, who have had similar 9-11 experiences!

and this Wave event is not over yet! Not counting aftershocks, there are the other "horsemen of the apocalypse" to contend with: starvation, disease, war/looting
for food and shelter....etc
[lets not even begin to wonder about 900 miles of coastline where *every*
boat is ruined, who is going to fish for food?! Or...Whether this event is the "perfect storm event" to ignite the 60% kill-rate bird flu DNA recombination to make it as catchible as the common cold, all over the world...Soon, soon!!]
In other words, I am talking of 100,000 killed...Maybe 300,000 killed, by the middle of summer.

I am calling for anyone who has had, or know where to find, a Prophecy, a Seeing, of this tidal wave event. Please comment, post, or come find my mail address on the personal section, or on my weblog, if yahoo removes it...

please post your prophecy in reply....
"my life after near death experiences"

I apologize for the posting to several lists, journals, in one post, as I type only 5 words per minute and this article I want to do only ONCE!!

yes, the Tabloid magazines are filled with prophecies of the coming year to be, around this time of year, Dec 29th. Nearly ALL of them turn out to be very very wrong.

one more Condensed story....


hello everyone......Due to "popular request" for my
telling, of this here experience of mine...I think
that I had better re-write it...So here it is!

In 1975, I was spending my summer at my lakeside
cottage, and today, in the Indian summer of early
October, I was sitting on my small porch, with
aftersupper coffee in hand, the Lake was so nicely
still. I could see my next door neighbor walking over
to my cottage.
She had a message for me[I had no phone].
"your mother was just killed in an auto accident"!!

my mother was returning from a trip, that evening, in
October, and the red sports car came into her lane at
120 mph!!...At dusk.

My father and Mother were born next door to where they
now lived...And they got my childhood home in 1938.
after this accident, my father still lived there.
so here was 150 years of Tradition...GONE......
It was too too much for my father...He went over the
edge of sanity...35 years of marriage, and now
he could not even cook for himself...He would burn
water if he tried to cook it!! When he went to the
nursing home for the last time, his friend found only
half a hot dog and a potato in the refridgerator!
Dudley blamed it all, on me: the accident...The
my social work master's degree sister...Spoke of
"Psychosis" and "nervous breakdown"!!
Dudley threatened to shoot me with his shotgun, if he
ever saw me around my home town!!

years went by......
I stayed away...Oh, I forgave him for his pain...But
he had to make the first move, in order for me to ever
see him again!
around 1983, Dudley began to have a series of heart
attacks, and nearly died.
At this time, my Aunt[His sister] sent to me some
clippings from the local paper...He was now a writer!!
he put in articles every week.
It was quite apparent that he had some type of
Spiritual Conversion experience, as he now wrote of
"angels, spirits, relatives-in-spirit" who would visit
him, all the time. He even wrote of seeing Jesus!!

In 1986, he lay again in Intensive Care..After yet
another heart attack...He asked my aunt for me...That
he wanted to see and talk to me!!
I drove right up, a 1200 mile trip!!

So I saw him nearly every day...For a year! His face
glowed with joy, everytime that I walked into the
room...Of the hospital or the nursing home!
all was forgiven...The several years of living that
spiritual life had softened his heart...
I would sit with him for twenty minutes and tell him
of my own out of body experiences where I went to see
heaven[many of them I have on file and have
posted!]....The nurses and other patients would gather

On day....While talking to a friend of Dudley's, back
in Interlaken; this friend says to me,
"you know, don't ya, Stoney, about your mother's
--and, NO, I did NOT!!
so this person told me the story of my mother's
dream...A dream story that I had never heard, ever,
My mother, folks, dreamed, about ten years before her
death....That "within ten years...She would be killed
in a car accident, at dusk, with a red sports car
coming into her lane: but that Dudley would live until
he was 72 years of age"!!

No wonder, as I knew her, before she died, that she
was always very afraid to drive at dusk!!

It was now late November of 1986. Dudley had turned 72
on October 12th!! I came up from Florida to see him
in the Intensive care unit, after a massive heart
attack...Around the end of October: he nearly died
from this attack!
and he had yet another near-death heart attack in the
middle of November!
Obvious that Mom was quite right!!! Dudley was near
death and he could have died from either heart attack:
surely the next one will do him in...And there are ten
months to go before he turns 73!

so I remained with my aunt for about a year, seeing my
father nearly every day...I was always amazed how full
of light his face was, everytime that I saw him, much
more lit up with light than any other "old man" that I
have ever seen, before, or since!!
He died on Christmas day of 1987, walking down the
hall of the nursing home, fell over dead...In a
moment, gone.
He was 73. Two months into 73!

he lived a year and two months beyond his 72nd
birthday: was mom then WRONG in the exact date?!


For I saw,Intuitively, that mom's Seeing was right:
but that Spirit stepped in and gave to Dudley an
EXTENSION of one year, so that he could make amends
with his Son!
ha would indeed have died in one of those two heart
attacks in October/November, of 1986, at 72 years of
age, if Spirit did not intervene!
Due to his Senility, it would really take that whole
year, in twenty to sixty minute near-daily increments,
for the forgiveness to "take" into his brain!
and so----Dudley was given a Gift of one year, to make
forgiveness with his Son...And he died on the DAY of
Gifts, as a sign that his gift was for real...Where it
was the Day that Jesus was born in order to give us
ALL the Gift of Eternal life in Him, if we only were
to ASK, first!!

so my Mother was a Prophetess. She tried to put down all of those
"tabloid paper psychics", as if she could prove them wrong, she might have her OWN Vision to be proved to be wrong, but no....Her vision must have come from an "impeachable source"!

so I wonder how many tidal wave visions, dreams, premonitions, and signs, are out there?!

thank you...
freestone wilson

Tuesday, December 28, 2004

BBC news

Mapping the bird flu outbreak

Amid fears that an outbreak of avian flu which has killed millions of birds in South East Asia could mutate and spread among humans, BBC News Online looks at the situation in the countries affected so far. So far, only the H5N1 strain of bird flu has been deadly to humans.

Indonesia officially confirmed the presence of avian flu in the country on 25 January, and tests confirmed on 3 February that it was the H5N1 strain.
President Megawati ordered a cull of infected birds on 29 January after initially resisting pressure from the World Health Organization.
Independent and government researchers are believed to have first detected the existence of avian flu in Indonesia in November, but the government said it was a less serious disease, Newcastle disease.

This morning the sun shone brightly, a far cry from that 38 degree and rain xmas, the worst weather xmas that I have ever seen, for my whole life, I pondered, as I walked to the coffee shop, the significance of the tidal wave!
8 am yahoo news says "now that 40,000 are dead"...."A train of 1000 people swept off of the tracks"
"MILLIONS homeless".

I recalled that dream that I had back in the fall, maybe October.
There was a time, of several nights within a week, where I went out of body, astrally, to some sort of "school" in the heavens. At first I thought that this school, was just of my high school, back in 1958 Interlaken, NY; but no....It is a
school of some sort, in heaven: I was only trying to see it in the only images that I had at hand, in my lifetime....My old high school!
I eventually could tell my the colors and the building itself, that this was a school for incoming souls to get acclimated to heaven.
I also discovered that there were at least several masters in charge of this school, and one of them was Sathya Sai Baba! [even when "alive" on earth, living in south India, he is a director of this school!]
the series of these dreams ended when about the time, as I wandered all about this school, room to room, exploring, I came across, on a table, just strewn there, perhaps, left behind, not shelved after reading, by someone...What looked to be a kind of "business calendar", a thick booklet of a calendar where also there was
a large space besides each day so to have the appointments and memos written, the important events of the year-to-come, written out, to advise or to warn the reader as to what to do, day by day.
this appointment calendar looked to be Sai baba's own personal copy!!

even in my "vague dream state", I eagerly opened it up to see what was in it! Naturally I could bring back only just a bit. I think Baba's name was on it and the calendar was for the year 2005. I only recall the entry for about the 26th or the 27th for JANUARY 2005.

"A Great huge ecological earth disaster"!!

-----so sports fans, what I was intrigued about, was how the date for the tidal wave was the same day, but one month PRIOR to January of 2005!
oh the nature of Time, I read often how psychics are tearing their hair over how Time "distorts" in the conversion between the heavens and the earth: a time given in the astral, by a Guide, is often not to be so on the earth! Then the prophecy is seen to be "wrong"...Only to have the event occur months and months later!
[a guide once said, via a medium...."If a Guide gives a death date for a client, often that date is a year away from that stated date! If, say, a event is told to will occur on 10th January 1997, what is actually meant is that this event will occur on the 10th of January of 1998!"]
time is "slippery" between the astral and the earth spheres!
there could well be the good chance that this memo is about the Tidal wave, where probably 60,000 people, or more, have died, and probably another 20,000 WILL die, from weakness and sickness. Given in the memo page to be January 26th, 2005, but actually to be December 26th, of 2004.

which brings me to another Topic, that map above! A map that should bring the "fear" to the epidemic disease scientists: they have seen the "firecracker" of the Tidal wave, but as this firecracker of a bang has gotten their attention, they do NOT see the Hydrogen Bomb, behind their backs, that could explode momentarily!!
yes, that map, above, of the east Asian countries that have reported the bird flu!
Including Indonesia, of course! They, consumed by that disaster, will not pay attention to this!

the perfect Storm:
---millions homeless.
---no food, so food is rushed from inland and from near mainland china! Live birds travel well.
---millions in poor immunity health, without shelter, in the cool time of year, eating chickens and dealing with volunteer helpers from further inland Asia.
---thousands of foreign volunteers from all over the world, staying a while and becoming tired and exhausted, then they FLY back home, to all the western countries, then get off of the plane and then

cough in your face, in the mall, or on the subway or bus!

*if* this virus does that "gene recombining" where it jumps from bird to human and then becomes as catchable as the common cold
*and* with its "currant death rate" still at the 50% to 70% level
[look to the person on your left and then on your right: both will die, at that rate!!]
and then have one half of the survivors with such a damaged lung system that they can never ever work again, just use your Imagination, for a moment, to imagine
what this "hydrogen bomb exploding" will do to the west's economy and to the social

even if this virus "mellows out", becomes less virulent, in its passage through the world's populations, even at a 20% "kill rate" and of a 20% "permanent lung damage" rate, the effects will be HUGE!!

No one there, in the coastal sections of Asia, will Pay proper Attention to
Disease spread Protocols, of this bird virus: all attention paid to Cholera and the other "standard" disease vectors, that come with such disasters!

the returning aid givers, will cough in your face, or in the face of the person who will cough in the face of the person who will cough in your face, on the bus, or in the movie theater line, sometime in Febuary of march, on a rainy cold day.
a cold?
or bird flu?


Friday, December 24, 2004


I am not a political person, but this here opinion article in the thursday new york times caught my eye. For me, this article sums up the war and really is, for me, the most articulate article that i have seen on this war.

December 23, 2004
Worth a Thousand Words

here has been so much violence in Iraq that it's become hard to distinguish one senseless act from another. But there was a picture that ran on the front page of this newspaper on Monday that really got to me. It showed several Iraqi gunmen, in broad daylight and without masks, murdering two Iraqi election workers. The murder scene was a busy street in the heart of Baghdad. The two election workers had been dragged from their car into the middle of the street. They looked young, the sort of young people you'd see doing election canvassing in America or Ukraine or El Salvador.

One was kneeling with his arms behind his back, waiting to be shot in the head. Another was lying on his side. The gunman had either just pumped a bullet into him or was about to. I first saw the picture on the Internet, and I did something I've never done before - I blew it up so it covered my whole screen. I wanted to look at it more closely. You don't often get to see the face of pure evil.

There is much to dislike about this war in Iraq, but there is no denying the stakes. And that picture really framed them: this is a war between some people in the heart of the Arab-Muslim world who - for the first time ever in their region - are trying to organize an election to choose their own leaders and write their own constitution versus all the forces arrayed against them.

Do not be fooled into thinking that the Iraqi gunmen in this picture are really defending their country and have no alternative. The Sunni-Baathist minority that ruled Iraq for so many years has been invited, indeed begged, to join in this election and to share in the design and wealth of post-Saddam Iraq.

As the Johns Hopkins foreign policy expert Michael Mandelbaum so rightly pointed out to me, "These so-called insurgents in Iraq are the real fascists, the real colonialists, the real imperialists of our age." They are a tiny minority who want to rule Iraq by force and rip off its oil wealth for themselves. It's time we called them by their real names.

However this war started, however badly it has been managed, however much you wish we were not there, do not kid yourself that this is not what it is about: people who want to hold a free and fair election to determine their own future, opposed by a virulent nihilistic minority that wants to prevent that. That is all that the insurgents stand for.

Indeed, they haven't even bothered to tell us otherwise. They have counted on the fact that the Bush administration is so hated around the world that any opponents will be seen as having justice on their side. Well, they do not. They are murdering Iraqis every day for the sole purpose of preventing them from exercising that thing so many on the political left and so many Europeans have demanded for the Palestinians: "the right of self-determination."

What is terrifying is that the noble sacrifice of our soldiers, while never in vain, may not be enough. We may actually lose in Iraq. The vitally important may turn out to be the effectively impossible.

We may lose because of the defiantly wrong way that Donald Rumsfeld has managed this war and the cynical manner in which Dick Cheney, George Bush and - with some honorable exceptions - the whole Republican right have tolerated it. Many conservatives would rather fail in Iraq than give liberals the satisfaction of seeing Mr. Rumsfeld sacked. We may lose because our Arab allies won't lift a finger to support an election in Iraq - either because they fear they'll be next to face such pressures, or because the thought of democratically elected Shiites holding power in a country once led by Sunnis is anathema to them.

We may lose because most Europeans, having been made stupid by their own weakness, would rather see America fail in Iraq than lift a finger for free and fair elections there.

As is so often the case, the statesman who framed the stakes best is the British prime minister, Tony Blair. Count me a "Blair Democrat." Mr. Blair, who was in Iraq this week, said: "Whatever people's feelings or beliefs about the removal of Saddam Hussein and the wisdom of that, there surely is only one side to be on in what is now very clearly a battle between democracy and terror. On the one side you have people who desperately want to make the democratic process work, and want to have the same type of democratic freedoms other parts of the world enjoy, and on the other side people who are killing and intimidating and trying to destroy a better future for Iraq."

my own analogy for this article is the INTERNET. do we let the spammers, the hackers, the spyware people, and the virus makers, take over? the internet might last a week, or less, if we all let these hijackers take over!

there was a letter posted on a bullitin board at the veteran's clinic, from a soldier on the front lines of Iraq, i cannot find it on the internet, so from memory....this soldier listed all of the good things that have occurred since the fall of Saddam, democratic things, freedome for many people.
Just what these warlords do not want.
----be a long haul, i fear...be years of war for freedom!

Wednesday, December 22, 2004

A letter that I wrote to a email group for autism advocay, where 500 members
do not want to be CURED of autism! Try to find the advantages of being autistic!


yes hi all....
if you all can bear with my 5 wpm typing, "caps' are not an option, as if I do caps then I do nothing else, cannot think as I type!

yes, I just now joined. I really do not want to parade my symptoms too much, you all have heard it before!

I am 63, a single older man who never married. I live in a senior residence, now, in Tallahassee, FL. I have two computers and I only use them to play games on, rpgs, mostly, of the "slow reaction time" kinds!

If I had to wear my condition on my sleeve, I would note that all of my life it seems as if I had a pinhole in a sheet of paper to peer through where as everyone else has a window! What this means is that I can only do or think one thing at a time! And I am "right brained" too. "Temple granden: thinking in pictures" yes that is me!

I have left entire meals on the table not one bite eaten after a
two hour talk, as how can I find the food if I listen, say, to a man tell of his canoe trip in the Minnesota rivers?! There are no plates of food on lake minnehaha!!! I am there with him as he tells of the whispering northwinds, the pale blue sky and the girgle of water around a slow moving canoe: where is that food there?!! If I turn away to look at my fork to insert it into the string beans to place the fork at just so an angle to get the fork to lift up the string bean so that I will not have to wear it on my white shirt [only white, and after ten washings to get the sizing dye out and color shirts have that DYE that burns my lungs and throat! copd lung damage!]. Lift the fork, into mouth.
I am not in his picture image! I cannot even hear him.

not both at once!

at the same time, I note the complicated complexities of how everything is inter-related and thus most people would tell me that I talk too too much but hey!...How do you tell someone something where the sweater has 30,000 threads and you just rip off one of them when he asked me to take a look at my new sweater?! These days ya gotta spit it out in 4 seconds or less, and I need an hour!! I need that hour to say aaaanything!

my dream are VERY strange.
prophetic. Not even symbolic! I do things at night, about 3 times a week, in the afterlife worlds! I have, over the years, talked two way conversations with most of my relatives in the spirit world!
I suppose that my "church affiliation" could be called
THE SPIRITUALIST CHURCH...But there are none in Tallahassee.
my lapel button could indeed read...
"a psychic". Or..."A medium"!
I have seen India gurus, Jesus, people of all races, the "homo heavens"...Wonderful heavens. Yes, hell exists and you do NOT want to even visit it!

I have a web journal, a weblog.
"my life after near death experiences"
where some of my dreams of heaven are written up
"afterlife files"

[TO MODERATOR: I post my urls only this once, for information only, I do not intend to "spam" them weekly!! If you do not want them posted, please just delete that section.]

what I am doing, in my life, is trying to see and to live the ADVANTAGES of being somewhat autistic.

here is a small example, just one, and I will end my long post with it.
I once entered an ice cream shop for the first time. There were a intelligent looking couple ahead of me, and they were studiously reading the menu board. I took one glance at this huge board listing all 50 flavors, and first off, the names were in written script!
a killer for me, as I have great trouble reading handwritten letters!
So as this couple talked and talked about the pros and cons of this flavor over that flavor, I walked up and ordered. My order consisted of looking into the glass topped freezers and into the open ice cream boxes. I can tell when a box is "fresh", the ice cream has no ice crystals in it and the ice cream is not lying at the very bottom of the box. I found a just open box and ordered.
later the two people came up to order and they did not look at the ice cream, they ordered by WORD.

see, sports fans, they ate the word! I ate ice cream. If they both ordered "mint", maybe the mint had six scoops left and the remmanents were all covered with ice meaning a thaw and refrozen as this slow mover item has sat in that freezer for months and months absorbing all of the flavors of the ice cream around it!
they actually ate an abstraction, these two! Ate words.

I see this a LOT, all around me! All I see is "naked emperors" while everyone else praises the clothes! My "first impressions" are always right, if I do not follow them, I suffer for it.
I tend to think out of the box a lot. Ask Questions.

well enough....

freestone wilson

Tuesday, December 21, 2004


December 20, 2004
How About Not 'Curing' Us, Some Autistics Are Pleading

OICEVILLE, N.Y. - Jack Thomas, a 10th grader at a school for autistic teenagers and an expert on the nation's roadways, tore himself away from his satellite map one recent recess period to critique a television program about the search for a cure for autism.

"We don't have a disease," said Jack, echoing the opinion of the other 15 boys at the experimental Aspie school here in the Catskills. "So we can't be 'cured.' This is just the way we are."

From behind his GameBoy, Justin Mulvaney, another 10th grader, objected to the program's description of people "suffering" from Asperger's syndrome, the form of autism he has.

"People don't suffer from Asperger's," Justin said. "They suffer because they're depressed from being left out and beat up all the time."

That, at least, was what happened to these students at mainstream schools before they found refuge here.

But unlike many programs for autistics, this school's program does not try to expunge the odd social behaviors that often make life so difficult for them. Its unconventional aim is to teach students that it is O.K. to "act autistic" and also how to get by in a world where it is not.

Trained in self-advocacy, students proudly recite the positive traits autism can confer, like the ability to develop uncanny expertise in an area of interest. This year's class includes specialists on supervolcanoes and medieval weaponry.

"Look at Jack," Justin pointed out. "He doesn't even need a map. He's like a living map."

The new program, whose name stands for Autistic Strength, Purpose and Independence in Education - and whose acronym is a short form of Asperger's - is rooted in a view of autism as an alternative form of brain wiring, with its own benefits and drawbacks, rather than a devastating disorder in need of curing.

It is a view supported by an increasingly vocal group of adult autistics, including some who cannot use speech to communicate and have been institutionalized because of their condition. But it is causing consternation among many parents whose greatest hope is to avoid that very future for their children. Many believe that intensive behavioral therapy offers the only rescue from the task of caring for unpredictable, sometimes aggressive children, whose condition can take a toll on the entire family.

The autistic activists say they want help, too, but would be far better off learning to use their autistic strengths to cope with their autistic impairments rather than pretending that either can be removed. Some autistic tics, like repetitive rocking and violent outbursts, they say, could be modulated more easily if an effort were made to understand their underlying message, rather than trying to train them away. Other traits, like difficulty with eye contact, with grasping humor or with breaking from routines, might not require such huge corrective efforts on their part if people were simply more tolerant.

Spurred by an elevated national focus on finding a cure for autism at a time when more Americans are receiving autism diagnoses than ever before - about one in 200 - a growing number of autistics are staging what they say amounts to an ad hoc human rights movement. They sell Autistic Liberation Front buttons and circulate petitions on Web sites like neurodiversity.com to "defend the dignity of autistic citizens." The Autistic Advocacy e-mail list, one of dozens that connect like-minded autistics, has attracted nearly 400 members since it started last year.

"We need acceptance about who we are and the way we are," said Joe Mele, 36, who staged a protest at Jones Beach, on Long Island, while 10,000 people marched to raise money for autism research recently. "That means you have to get out of the cure mind-set."

A neurological condition that can render standard forms of communication like tone of voice, facial expression and even spoken language unnatural and difficult to master, autism has traditionally been seen as a shell from which a normal child might one day emerge. But some advocates contend that autism is an integral part of their identities, much more like a skin than a shell, and not one they care to shed.

The effort to cure autism, they say, is not like curing cancer, but like the efforts of a previous age to cure left-handedness. Some worry that in addition to troublesome interventions, the ultimate cure will be a genetic test to prevent autistic children from being born.

That would be a loss, they say, not just for social tolerance but because autistics, with their obsessive attention to detail and eccentric perspective, can provide valuable insight and innovation. The neurologist Oliver Sacks, for instance, contends that Henry Cavendish, the 18th-century chemist who discovered hydrogen, was most likely autistic.

"What they're saying is their goal is to create a world that has no people like us in it," said Jim Sinclair, who did not speak until he was 12 and whose 1993 essay "Don't Mourn for Us" serves as a touchstone for a fledgling movement.

At this year's "Autreat," an annual spring gathering of autistics, attendees compared themselves to gay rights activists, or the deaf who prefer sign language over surgery that might allow them to hear. Some discussed plans to be more openly autistic in public, rather than take the usual elaborate measures to fit in. Others vowed to create more autistic-friendly events and spaces.

Autreat participants, for instance, can wear color-coded badges that indicate whether they are willing to be approached for conversation. Common autistic mannerisms, like exceedingly literal conversation and hand-flapping, are to be expected. Common sources of autistic irritation, like casual hugs and fluorescent lighting, are not.

For many parents, however, the autistic self-advocacy movement often sounds like a threat to the brighter future they envision for their children. In recent months, the long-simmering argument has erupted into an online brawl over the most humane way to handle an often crippling condition.

On e-mail lists frequented by autistics, some parents are derided as "curebies" and portrayed as slaves to conformity, so anxious for their children to appear normal that they cannot respect their way of communicating. Parents argue that their antagonists are showing a typical autistic lack of empathy by suggesting that they should not try to help their children. It is only those whose diagnosis describes them as "high functioning" or having Asperger's syndrome, they say, who are opposed to a cure.

"If those who raise their opposition to the so-called oppression of the autistic would simply substitute their usage of 'autism or autistic' with 'Asperger's,' their arguments might make some sense," Lenny Schafer, publisher of the widely circulated Schafer Autism Report, wrote in a recent e-mail message. "But I intend to cure, fix, repair, change over etc. my son and others like him of his profound and typical disabling autism into something better. Let us regain our common sense."

But the autistic activists say it is not so easy to distinguish between high and low functioning, and their ranks include both.

In an effort to refute parental skeptics, the three owners of autistics.org, a major Web hub of autistic advocacy, issued a statement listing their various impairments. None of them are fully toilet-trained, one of them cannot speak, and they have all injured themselves on multiple occasions, they wrote: "We flap, finger-flick, rock, twist, rub, clap, bounce, squeal, hum, scream, hiss and tic."

The touchiest area of dispute is over Applied Behavior Analysis, or A.B.A., the therapy that many parents say is the only way their children were able to learn to make eye contact, talk and get through the day without throwing tantrums. Some autistic adults, including some who have had the therapy, say that at its best it trains children to repress their natural form of expression and at its worst borders on being abusive. If an autistic child who screams every time he is taken to the supermarket is trained not to, for example, he may still be experiencing pain from the fluorescent lights and crush of strangers.

"Behaviors are so often attempts to communicate," said Jane Meyerding, an autistic woman who has a clerical job at the University of Washington and is a frequent contributor to the Autistic Advocacy e-mail discussion list. "When you snuff out the behaviors you snuff out the attempts to communicate."

Perhaps the most public conflict between parents and adult autistics came in a lawsuit brought by several Canadian families who argued that the government should pay for their children's A.B.A. therapy because it is medically necessary. Michelle Dawson, an autistic woman in Montreal, submitted testimony questioning the ethics of the therapy, which the Canadian Supreme Court cited in its ruling against the families in November.

Ms. Dawson's position infuriates many parents who are fighting their own battles to get governments and insurance companies to pay for the expensive therapy.

"I'm afraid of this movement," said Kit Weintraub, the mother of two autistic children in Madison, Wis.

Ms. Weintraub's son, Nicholas, has benefited greatly from A.B.A., she said, and she is unapologetic about wanting to remove his remaining quirks, like his stilted manner of speaking and his wanting to be Mickey Mouse for Halloween when other 8-year-olds want to be Frodo from "The Lord of the Rings."

"I worry about when he gets into high school, somebody doesn't want to date him or be his friend," she said. "It's no fun being different."

The dispute extends even to the basic terminology of autism.

"I would appreciate it, if I end up in your article, if you describe me as 'an autistic' or 'an autistic person,' versus the 'person with...,' " Ms. Dawson wrote in an e-mail message. "Just like you would feel odd if people said you were a 'person with femaleness.' "

Ms. Weintraub insists on the opposite. "My children have autism, they are not 'autistics,' " she wrote in her own widely circulated essay, "A Mother's Perspective." "It is no more normal to be autistic than it is to have spina bifida."

Terry Walker, 37, who has Asperger's syndrome, said he was not opposed to the concept of a cure for autism but he suggested that there was a pragmatic reason to look for other options.

"I don't think it's going to be easy to find," Mr. Walker said. "That's why I opt for changing the world around me; I think that does more long-term good."

Autistic Advocacy

---with a email list at yahoogroups

a 500 member autism "pro-autism" support group on yahoogroups.

This is a list for people anywhere on the Autism Spectrum (speaking, not speaking, LFA, HFA, AS, PDD, PDD-NOS, etc. if you like categories) or their families/friends. This list is to encourage us to look for the positives in our situations, learn as much as we can above all SUPPORT one another through difficult times. NO personal attacks (name-calling, etc) will be tolerated!
[on the page of this mail list....

Monday, December 20, 2004

"Unintended Consequences"

I read of this phrase a lot, of late, as people discover just how interrelated everything is.
Recently the state of Florida faced a Petition movement to increase the minimum
work wage by a dollar of so. The Change, or not, was put on the ballot, for the election, and it passed; it will go into effect on Jan ist.
Already there are several Tallahassee businesses, mostly locally homeowned, who will close up shop, and go out of business! Some of them have 20 or more min wage employees.
surely, in the weeks ahead, I will tell some person, who is fuming about his favorite store closing...."Well, you Voted for it! You wanted them out of business
and to further complicate things, only the Interstate/international Chains of stores will Absorb the loss, and even advertise that they will not raise the prices by 15%, as all other business have raised their prices by that amount, on January 1st: you, lady, have just voted FOR Walmart, go their now and buy everything that you own or eat, there, in the future, as the "wonderful" mom and pop, small homeowned businesses will be the very first to go under, with this new law!"

---probably the min wage people will not see that dollar an hour either!
.00004 seconds after midnight, on Jan 1st, the price of cigarettes and beer and coffee may jump from 5% to 30%!! Probably everything will jump up.

net gain= ZERO!

[what I would like to see is to have the WHOLE WORLD have the very same wage, but have the cost of living ALSO be the same: a cup of rice in America or a cup of rice in china be exactly the same!]

here, sports fans, is a good example of "unintended consequences"!
the high minded liberals want to help the working poor and at the same time these liberals like the small "chic" or "earthy" small town home owned stores. Most of them are just struggling to get by and then they are hit with a killer wage increase: do they raise the cost of everything by 40% and lose all their business to K-mart or walmart, or just decide to choose retirement a couple of years early?!!

thus the liberals "want" only K-marts and global multi-international companies to Rule, as these companies are the most efficient in cost control!

true "one worldness": go to a small village in England and find the Gap, Starbucks,
and McDonald's and walmart. No local stores, pleeeeese!


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UK: To Be a 'Clone Town,' or Not: That Is the Question

by Lizette Alvarez, New York Times
November 1st, 2004

STRATFORD-UPON-AVON, England - To survive the approach to the home where William Shakespeare was born, a striking timber-frame house in the center of this bustling town, it would be wise to bid adieu to all bucolic notions of quaint old England and ready oneself for the onslaught of globalization.

A visitor must march past Country Casuals, Boots pharmacy, Next, and Marks & Spencer, and pass Accessorize, HMV, Whittard and of course, the dueling coffee shops, Starbucks and Costa Coffee. If it were not for Shakespeare's dwelling and a few notable old houses, this town - with row upon row of British chain stores - would scarcely be different from any other in Britain these days. Most butcher shops and hardware stores have closed. So have the family clothing shops, the fishmongers and a long list of other independent businesses.

"If someone blindfolded you, put you in a helicopter and set you down in a town somewhere in England, you wouldn't be able to tell where you are anymore," said Jim Hyslop, 55, who lives just outside Stratford. The chain stores, he said, "change the character of a place."

In the past five years, chain stores owned by corporations and out-of-town megastores similar to Wal-Mart (one of them, Asda, is, in fact, owned by Wal-Mart), have come to dominate many British towns and cities, creating a palpable sense of homogeneity from Kent all the way to Cumbria, and drawing striking parallels to America.

Many of the main shopping thoroughfares, so-called "high streets," now traffic in sameness: ubiquitous cellphone shops (Orange, Vodafone, O2); the familiar coffee chains (Starbucks, Caffe Nero and Costa Coffee); the typical clothing stores (Gap, Next, Warehouse); and the cookie-cutter restaurants (Café Rouge, ASK, Pizza Express). Neighborhood greengrocers are also on the way out, replaced by chain minisupermarkets, most notably Tesco, a company that has become one of the world's top retailers.

"In the case of Britain, and especially England, there is a huge sense of identity investment in the image of towns and cities, and the notion that this sort of bland, gradual effacement of character is taking place has taxed people at a deep level," said Andrew Simms, policy director for the New Economic Foundation, an independent economic research organization that published a report in August called "Clone Town Britain."

"It makes life boring," Mr. Simms added. "It makes our communities boring places to be. That is one thing that has touched people deeply. People don't want to live in towns that look all the same. It's dull."

In its report, the foundation visited a series of towns and cities and counted both chain shops and independent businesses. It also contends that the spread of chains and sprawling Tesco-style stores winds up hurting local economies, because less money is pumped back into the area, and people are deprived of choice. A previous report in 2002 found that specialty stores like butchers and bakers were closing at a rate of 50 a week, along with 20 traditional pubs a month.

The reasons independent businesses are vanishing here are familiar to Americans: high rents; customer demand for cheaper goods; and corporate muscle. It is just that in the past few years their disappearance has become increasingly visible and particularly striking in a part of the world that once took such pride in its community shops.

"It's happening because of the consumer," said Nick Gladding, senior analyst at Verdict Research, a group that specializes in retail. "They are becoming more demanding.

"And people increasingly like familiarity," he added, noting that there are generational differences in shopping trends. "People like to know what to expect when they go into a shop or restaurant."

Lacey's, an ironmonger, or hardware store, in Stratford-upon-Avon, has been in town for generations. It is run by David Haywaid, 53, as it was by his father and grandfather before him. Mr. Haywaid said the town had changed markedly in recent years as independents had been driven to close because of high rents. "The only shops that can make money are the clothing shops, with their horrendous markups," he said.

His own shop is so old-fashioned that it is now a draw in itself, luring nostalgic out-of-towners who pine for "something different," said Mr. Haywaid, who owns the building his store occupies. Around the corner, at Barry the Butcher, Stewart Ashfield, the deputy manager, agrees. Not too long ago, there were 12 butcher shops in town; now there are 2. "Stratford has changed out of all recognition," he said. "We've been damaged by these chains, and the out-of-town shopping stores where people shop for everything under one roof as in America. What's been lost is the personal touch."

"Clone towns," though, as the report calls them, are beginning to encounter resistance as people question whether Britain should emulate America or follow Continental Europe, which is trying hard to preserve its uniqueness. In France and Poland, for example, local authorities can veto the construction of large supermarkets.

Local governments here are starting to push for economic incentives to guarantee a greater variety of shops. One town, Ludlow, has joined an Italian movement called Citta-slow, which embraces the "slow town" concept and promotes the benefits of eating locally grown produce.

A few powerful landlords have also taken stands against chain stores. The Mercers' Company, one of London's biggest landlords, is trying to attract independent shops by offering them discounts on the streets around Covent Garden, a popular tourist spot. Howard de Walden Estates, the hereditary landlord of much of Marylebone Village in London, has rejected a number of chains on its high street in order to preserve a unique, and quite popular, mix of shops. The company's chief executive has been critical of local governments, saying they are taking a short-term view of planning by always going with the highest bidder.

The question is: Is it too late to stem the tide?

"They talk about a tipping point, where you suddenly see independent retailers wiped out in certain areas," said David Bishop, a spokesman for the Federation of Small Businesses. "Unless you take some constructive action now it will resemble the U.S. We're a long way from that, but it is a real danger."

the min wage supporters might be the very first to embrace this article concept above, to have all of England become just corporate stores, but by their vote for the wage increase, they end up being in favor of the end-state of where this article is showing England to be headed!
a hardware store owner told me, bitterly, once, how he went last week to Home Depot to buy a hammer, and the same brand of hammer that he carries in his store was there for sale and it was cheaper retail than he could buy it WHOLESALE!
I suppose if he has 5 min wage employees, he might then just give up and go to Home Depot and get a job there, and thus also stop having to do the TONS of paperwork and tax forms that a small business requires of him to do!

shop walmart now.

Friday, December 17, 2004

Astral travel dreams!

too too bad that I cannot remember most of them, but there was one the other day, that had me wake up with a knowledge of how to describe the worlds that I seem to be in, in my dreams!

The open countrysides seem to be alive! To have a consciousness of their very own.
As if I were with another person who was charismicly awake and intensely aware, but invisible to my sight.
too...I seem able to often fly or float across the scenery.

The other night, I was in a land of old farmhouses, houses that looked a bit like they needed a paint job! I see this often in my dreams and I finally figured out that these houses looked the way that houses did, around the turn of the century, around maybe 1900, when paint was not used so much. Back then they used whitewash
or even MILK to paint their houses: the local hardware stores did not carry paint in those nice modern cans! Thus these houses are the Creation of their owners, from when they first arrived in spirit, in the 1800s, or so. According to the Law
of spirit that I have been shown, when a house is vacated, as that soul progresses onwards to a higher heaven, the house is of course empty, and the Rule is that another incoming soul will use this house until he/she is ready to also leave: this goes on and on, for years and years, after this house was first built. Since there is no decay and rot, the houses could last until some soul comes to remove them.
this is probably why there is so much of the "past" in the buildings that I see there! They are all made of "thoughtform" material, by the first Comers, or the masters, years ago, when the masters first created this astral "area" that corresponds to the country below, on earth. Thus the "American land" [my name]
is only a matter of 300 years old, or so. Thus the houses and cabins date back to that Pioneer settling period of the 1700s/1800s. As these souls progressed, their houses became available for the next soul.
I can imagine that the astral worlds for OLD cultures, on earth, might be very interesting to see: some countries have buildings that are 800 to 1500 years old!
Europe and Asia and Africa have the oldest.
RULE: the astral lands are "above" the earthly counterpart culture, that generated these astral lands. There thusly is a astral land for each culture and even each subculture within a country.
[I once went to see my deceased father about a year after he died. He was living in what HE called..."Upstate new York Victorian farmer world"!]
[I once went to see the appalalacian mountain land, a place that I have gone to often, to note that there were, in one section, a lot of modern looking "hippie/new age/yuppie homes! Yes of course, many of the new agers have died and they have brought their home designs with them!]

these astral lands are only the "second floor" above the first floor called the "earth". There are levels and levels above the astral planes. Yes "planes", as there are many sub-planes within the astral plane. Think: the FM radio band that is above the AM band....There are many many stations within the FM band. Then there are all the shortwave bands and the TV bands above the FM band...
tic the first afterlife world. I read, from a channeled guide, the he says....Through the medium...."That here in the astral the Nightwalkers are a bit of a pest as they appear and disappear at seeming randomness, and intrude into places that cause surprises. One can actually see the pajamas on some of them! They all come from the earthplane: when they awake most will only half-remember what they saw and they will, in any event, think that it was only a dream! Too, these sleepers appear on the higher levels too, but rarely. A rare few even make it up to the Record level [akasha records] and the paradise level of the celestial, but most appear only in the astral. One can tell that they are sleepers by the aura that they have, and most of them wander around like Zombies, only a little bit awake, like sleepwalkers. Then they go poof, as they go back to their bodies"!....A report from the field, from a Guide who lives there!!

always the skies are bright blue and "electric" in feel. Again...It is if the very air and lands are "alive", have a consciousness of and in itself. As if I were inside of a living being!! I have, within the last few weeks, seen people and places that infer that I have been to counterpart worlds "over" Africa...Franca...Iraq...England...Russia. These are the places that I can only remember, there are more forgotten. I have no idea as to "why" I go/taken to see these places. Usually it is to meet with some person or people.
often when I meet someone and a real conversation is about to begin, I immediately wake up! Long ago, I was a bit "irked" that "when the good stuff is about to begin, I wake up"! Always wake up, not just leave, as if my presence, knowing what the person and I talk about, is not for me to know! Finally I realized that the reason why I wake up is that my only astral purpose is to make a contact with someone and then this someone would talk to the Guide who brought me to see this person. Because this person was not high enough yet in vibration to meet my guide, yet, my presence was to "bridge" between he and my guide, as I still have the earth about me, thus closer to him who just had left the earth, and my ???Guide/angel/angels have long long been way from the earth plane, so that the gap was too too big for them to meet this person, unless there was someone in the "middle" between he and the Angels! Me!

Once, about a year ago, I was in a Eastern desert place, a city of mud-like cement
and bricks, with nothing but sand around the ground. "they", the people there wanted me to at least see the oncoming person, walking along the road. They were a bit afraid of this person, a man called Saddam. He came...He looked exactly like the newspapers photos Saddam. [he too astral travels!]
I think that I shook his hand or at least greeted him. Then of course I woke up!
face to face with a man with a frazzy beard, I have seen that photo a hundred times: now I met him in the astral! Since the connection *is* made, for the guides, this connection is "forever", thus I probably WILL have to get to know him, after both of us die!

oh the astral is so so interesting!

Wednesday, December 15, 2004

well i went to my dentist today for a cleaning of my teeth and i had a long talk with the dental hygenist. that talk was certainly a very *very* illuminating experience as far as health is concerned!

sometimes it is someone on the front lines, not back in an office or professor's lab, that finds discoveries!!

She tells me that for years and years she caught every little cold and flu that came down the pike. then she got her very first flu shot, when they began to offer them years ago. not only was there very few flu cases, now, in her life,
ordinary colds! probably the near-relations of flu virus and cold virus has to do with this. I never ever read that. i never heard that! that maybe that year flu vaccine would help with colds too! ordinary colds.

then she talked about her Mother. this mother of hers was not in good shape at all.
She lived alone and was in a bad state of health and mind. her house was a mess. her health too was in a mess. she coughed up flem and mucus all day long, constantly. she ate poorly too. mostly sugar foods and little protein.
no excercise at all, she spent 10 to 12 hours a day on her couch.
so this hygenist Took Steps. she got her mother to take daily walks, cold, rain, or shine. long walks daily. she got her mother to eat better foods and lots of protein. she permitted the cookies and stuff as long as meat and high protein was also eaten. she had a maid come to clean, to help mom tidy up the house.
now...her dwindlings had stopped, no more coughing up of mucus, no more sickness, and a better state of mind too!

excercise... like walking blocks and blocks a day.
better food...
a clean house....
more companionship....[the maid and the social life of more visits by relatives].

made a "new woman" out of her mother, the "dwindles" have stopped.
these four steps, above, alone, made all the difference.

Monday, December 13, 2004

somewheres near Albany, ny.

I am going to write out all of my xmas cards with *this* letter in them.
so i post it here too, and wish to you all a merry xmas!


well this year, you all, i am going to do something with my xmas cards that i once gritted my teeth over...a "group letter"!
I write about like a drunken chick with ink on its feet walking over a sheet of paper, with this, you can actually READ my card!
As i type only 5wpm, i will do this just once so that i can actually write a GOOD soul-filled letter, instead of just thrashing out some quickprose for each and every single person, a quick scribble that says absolutely nothing at all! I will probably do this from now on.....
yes i live here at Goergia belle apts now, a kind of "senior home". tis nice. most of the days are warm and sunny and that is real important to me, as i feel depressed on cloudy days. tis not that i was so up north in the 200 cloudy days a year upstate new york as i was out in the countryside then. here i am in a city of 300,000 and there are so SO many depressed people on cloudy days that i pick that up!
soft breezes and blue skies and green vegetation. the first frost might be in a few days, the fall colors have just finished, a place where spring shakes hands with fall. Someday i might visit my aunt in upstate, but the Choice of traveling is so expensive these days that even by train it is $300-plus.

[I shudder to think about the "funeral notice" where it is supposed, by the relatives, that i am to come up immediately, within a day or two, for a funeral, like for one of my uncles. i checked then, and was told..."$1200 and you, mr wilson, must know that is for one way and it does not include taxes...baggage handling...fees...surchargeS"! {for a one day notice in 1999}] thus i will not ever come for funerals!! maybe not even for my own!]

yes, merry Christmas to all....to my two aunts...and my friends who i also write to. In my young days, xmas lasted, after the xmas days, seemingly for weeks and weeks! there was our family tree. then the three day extravaganza of my mother's family, the Freestone's, next door. this package opening lasted for three or four days with a thangsgivingly dinner on the last day. one present at a time, delivered by me or sis taking turns: opening was watched by all with comments and comments, by the giver and the other relatives! thus one gift could really take as much as half an hour to open!!
there were at least six of us. from 9 am till 4 pm. Of course my parents had their own tree, with lots of gifts, hours of similar Openings.
*then* after the dinner, in a couple of days, it was Time to go to the other grandparents, on their farm, to have another day or two of Openings!
7 or 8 of us there. She had a wood burning kitchen stove and a secret baking of a molasis cookie that when her daughter finally got the recipie she could never ever even come close to making those cookies just like mother could make them!
Her daughter continues this tradition somewhat, but with 22+ grandkids! a packed living room for sure with lots and lots of love to go around!!
then a sorgasborad dinner for 35+ people!
[my sister suanna once went there and actually became *very* depressed as she felt so much love there but none of it was directed to HER! of course! coming to a family that was not hers and she being single, she was invited to come to my aunt's, then with maybe 10 grandchildren for the 6 kids that my aunt had, maybe 18 to 20 people at the house. I lived with her the last few years of her life so that there WAS some love in her life at the end....never married though, i guess when your IQ is 140+ and you Blow Whistles in your job, aggressively demanding that your Profession Clean it's House [social work] you have little love, as a woman!]
these days, in the Time of microwaved xmas cookies, if even *that* as there are 60 foot rows of commercial xmas cookies made with
Extenders...SB6 probenzardine additives to prolong shelf life...corn syrup for sugar...cytane #4 red color...cloropentane yeast additive....hydobroxtane for Stability....welll .........yum yum, in this day of Blended families and no time to cook!
and...often one minute after midnight on xmas day, it is ALL OVER. ya want that too, as you heard those Carols in the stores, since halloween and are sick of them!
thus xmas, for me now...is the "smoke and the sizzle" but not the steak, as 99% of xmas is in the hieghtened love and celebration that really begins in late november. not just the commercialness in the stores, even at its best, but the extra love and happyness of all the people in the coffee shops, the cafes, and the stores. Georgia belle has a formal xmas dinner hosted by the staff, on the 13th of dec. no blue jeans please, candles and formal silverware! actual xmas day, what is the 25th like?? On that day it is usually cold and or rainy and nothing is open! nothing going on at georbia belle as everyone is off for the day: thus xmas for single people IS the smoke and the sizzle, of a steak on the grill, 99% in the preparatiopn and 1% in the eating thereof!!
So on xmas day, i may listen to music, write a letter...fiddle with my computer. *not* go out to eat as if i did that
"stupid" thing, i would go to the one place that is open only to find about ten other single people who want me to BOND with their depressions!!
bond real good and uttley too, as they talk about How they are Judged by society for being single and that on xmas day they are Found To Be utterly Wanting!! and the "sentence" for being judged so??....to sit in a greyhound terminal cafe, the only place open for miles and miles, ALONE
and for these poor souls...xmas is the one day of the year of "utter ZERO!" in their lives!!
[no! do not ask me to go to try to "warm them up"..i always just become just like them, like a sponge DOES become the color of the tea that it is soaking up!]
the clue to these poor soul's depression has to do with what is the Meaning of Chistmass! not just in celebrating what about a baby being born 2000 years ago, but what is the meaning of that Birth for THEM! "salvation" is the name of this, what is the meaning of that word, they might Ask of them selves. and "saving' from "what", is a good beginning place to begin to Look. ah the pity of the Academic, Intelligent, professional, person!
this person prides him/her self on "OBJECTIVITY"! that means that nothing is real to the "spiritual life", there is no afterlife and no angels and no personal God! they might even think that as the universe will some day burn out to blackness in a billion years or so, that in essence anything that ya do is just of an inchworm that is climbing the wall of a descending elevator! ultimately, see, sports fans, these people see life as closing out to blackness as they see that everything rots, decays, goes bad and down! all good tv shows go bad and the neighboorhood goes down and then every single house IS eventually for sale sooner or later!! you die. become senile, a 6 year old kid again, where someone has to wipe both ends for you! AHA!! if heaven IS and the gift of salvation is Yours, then every good thing in your life will be there for you in heaven when you arrive as every bit of goodness, truth, and love is added to your soul, as you live these experiences, so that they will be Yours in heaven, as you sit on the porch of you cabin in the heavenly mountains. *that* is the Meaning of salvation and the real meaning of Christmas!
thus these poor souls sipping a very *very* long cup of coffee at the greyhound station snack bar cafeteria on xmas day, all self-pitying over "no xmas", why they might really need to Confront Death, their oncoming eventual death, and whether or not there is an afterlife!
so this, for me, is the real meaning of christmas, all of the "family loves and get-togethers come out from that first action: the bestowal of the Lord
in body form upon the earth, to make it possible for each of us to have an individual life after death, in love, truth, goodness.

but then too, salvation is not just for some dim far far off in the future afterlife, salvation is for NOW, here in the world as you live! even if no angels "magicly" appear with wisdom or love, from jesus's commands, instantly....why just knowing that Love, truth and goodness are Real and permanent in the afterlife, that means that they are more the REAL here too now!! they will not disippear at the heat death of the universe. then just look at all the Inspiration at your "disposal"! a personal Jesus to be with you every day!
*this* is why many intellectuals are bitter and sarcastic, in life!

so i am 63 now. probably not too many more months and years left here. I have seen heaven in my Dreams, and know that it is for real. and salvation too. so i tend to "look through" all of the commercial aspects of xmas. i try to enjoy the echos of my childhood, and ponder the meanings of what i wrote, above. if the day is sunny, i will take a walk or 20, during the xmas days. pray. meditate.

so i wish you all a happy christmass, and to have it in your hearts year around!

freestone wilson

Friday, December 10, 2004


the Tallahassee jungle Eats!

old trucks old ways of life.

One thing that I was talking about, to an acquaintance, a few minutes ago, was about "hate" and the "opposites".
Tis easy to find something to hate real good. The trick is....To be able to find something good in anything and everything!

we live by "opposites".

If I ask you for a pencil on your desk and to have you give it to me where I get one end of it, and you give to me the pencil, the *other* end will come with it: you cannot give to me that pencil with only that one end!

thus all of us, in this material world, has to contrast and compare against the opposites.

hot vs cold.
black race *or* the white race, and if you are white, your shadow casts on the black for anything in you that you do not like. If you are black, the white race is your reflection.

*this* is why the "hippies" dislike the SUV cars so much! The hippies who are into the "whole earth, whole foods, and envirnmentalisms" project their own
tendencies to "excess" onto the SUV owners!

the people on a diet so dislike the people who sit there and engulf a whole bag of French fries in one sitting..."Morally weak" is what they call them!! But if I am utterly sure of my own diet convictions, then that eater of fries should not bother me in the least!!

that truck in the photo!
---some see..."Environmental trash", ruining the landscape.
---some people see the old pretty pickup as a work of art.
----some think of the good old days.

one truck and 100 feelings that are different, from 100 people who see it!

Some people dislike Tallahassee because of the tropic heat and humidity.
some people love Tallahassee because of the gentle soft air and warm sun that shines
most days!

pick your poison or your Antidote!

Wednesday, December 08, 2004


Yesterday, the 7th, i had a short interesting dream!
I dreamed that i was out at my friend's property just north of tallahassee, across
the georgia border line. He had invited me to go there with him.

I can only really recall the part where he and I were walking on a path in the cemetary that is next to this land of his.

[i have never been there in waking life]

He told me that "the other day", or the "last time" that i was there, i told him
that...."I am going to take the Next Path very very soon".
while in this dream, hearing him say that, even then i wondered how this could be as i had never ever been there to see his home and land!


I wonder about this dream.
I know that five or six relatives helped my father Dudley to die, by having dudley appear in their dreams as they somehow "helped" him to get ready to die!!
I was one of these helpers. The helping seemed to be out of my self control as if "I" had nothing to do with it as I assumed knowledge that i do not have in my waking state: thus a "higher self" activity must be at wirk here.

I wonder if
1...As if maybe i thought that i might die soon, but now it is not so, and i am telling myself this??


2....maybe this is where somehow my friend is "helping" me to get ready, and i get the messege in the dream, as if HE is telling me something that i do not know: that my time IS very short even if i think that it is not!


Friday, December 03, 2004

oh cornell university. [go checkout the live cam on the homepage

so pretty.
looks a bit "gothic".
what they do not tell you is that this campus is on top of a 500 foot hill and that winter is six months long and the wind can blow 40 mph at 25 degrees, and 25 degrees is a warm day for winter!
Probably the only clear day for the month too!!
there are 200+ cloudy days a year here.

I was born and raised about 20 miles away, on top of a high hill prairie.
the north/south dirt road had it where *everything* tipped to the east; the trees, the barns, the powerpoles, even the fences, as the wind never ever stops!
so pretty though...the finger lakes.

but i now live in tallahassee florida.

people are a bit "gothic' too....here.

Thursday, December 02, 2004

I outdid myself today, i added into one place a who bunch of seach engines for finding weblogs and journals and the topics in them.
Have fun: some sites index all the weblogs, some only their own addedlinks, go find something now!!


a masterlist of search engines and Feeds.

bloogz.com/. a good one.


blogarama.com/. with a forum

blogdigger.com/. a big one.


blogwise.com/. big one

.daypop.com/. very good



www.waypath.com/. good one

.google.com//Weblogs/. google has one too!



blogdex.net/search.asp. seems to be very good!!
.blogs4god.com/linker/index.php. christian blogs!

Wednesday, December 01, 2004

Lake Ella, Tallahassee, where I walk around the lake a lot.

I had an event yesterday, that I thought about for hours! This one of those "what can ya say" things!

I have an acquaintance who follows some of the "gardejeffian" and the "Tao"
spiritual path. He talks a lot about "overcoming illusions".

Yesterday, he continued his ideas about the CR diet and the optimum ways to prolong life. Calorie Restriction, and its CR followers all believe that by eating only half as much they will live many many more years. This friend also recommended strongly, very strongly, that I read his favorite Health book...

"Fantastic Voyage : Live Long Enough to Live Forever"

Product Description:.....From http://www.Amazon.com

One of the most respected scientists and futurists in America teams up with an expert on human longevity, to show how we can tap today's revolution in biotechnology and nanotechnology to virtually live forever.

Startling discoveries in the areas of genomics, biotechnology, and nanotechnology are occurring every day. The rewards of this research, some of it as spectacular as what was once thought of as science fiction, are practically in our grasp. Already it is possible to analyze our individual genetic makeups and evaluate our predisposition for breast cancer or other deadly diseases on a case-by-case basis. And once we've isolated these genes, the ability to repress or enhance them through biotechnology is just around the corner. Soon, for example, it will be feasible for 10% of our red blood cells to be replaced by artificial cells, radically extending our life expectancy and enhancing our physical and even mental abilities beyond what is humanly possible today. In Fantastic Voyage, Ray Kurzweil and Terry Grossman will show us how amazingly advanced we are in our medical technology, and how incredibly far each of us can go toward living as long as we dare imagine.

For the second day, now, I listened to his enthusiastic talk about health and longevity.
Then we walked out of the Coffee shop and he lit up his
I suddenly realized that he smokes these about one or two of them an hour!

One of the leading causes of death in young men in Indonesia, the synergy of the cloves and of the tobacco deliver a whammy punch to the lungs!

---here is a man who is otherwise healthy, about 35 years old who smokes a lot of clove cigarettes and is into health and longevity!! *and* in "dispelling illusions"
about life, about politics, about religion, about REALITY!!

oh what should I tell him, sports fans??

I have chosen what to do, what to say....
"say, friend", I would tell him...."I know a way to increase your health and longevity
by 10%, right off of the bat"!

"how", he might reply.
"simple: take up smoking cigarettes, the Camel brand might be the best as it is one of the strongest out there for nicotine"!
"but oh freestone, did you Know that I smoke, surely you know that"!
"friend, notice that I said....Smoke a cigarette, *NOT* smoke a clove cigarette": if you want to increase your longevity by 30%, quit any kind of smokings!".

I wonder how many blind spots that we all have: that I have, and that I Do Not Even Have A Clue About?! Here is a man who is into health and long livingness but nearly chain smokes clove cigarettes! I cannot even stand to be near him when he lights up! But then again, he might be one of those people who NEED nictotine as a kind of "hormonal replacement"! I have heard of these people, people who might die young if it were not for smoking!

Hits me a bit hard: what can I believe in *anyone*, who writes or tells me that "this is so, that is so"!

like: "the hurricane season is now over, thank goodness, a sigh of relief", I read in the paper, here in FLORIDA, the other day, I think that the "season" ends on November 30th.
They can rant about the Season being "over" all that they want to, but this here bulletin from the weather service tells it like it is....
WTNT31 KNHC 010813

4 AM EST WED DEC 01 2004







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