......also some Journalings about my psychic experiences.
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Web freestone.blogspot.com
my life after Near Death Experiences: 11/01/2003 - 11/30/2003
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Saturday, November 29, 2003

-----a good site for pictures of Scotland!


A Dream, yes a dream that gives to me yet more Doubts.......

Seemed to be an "ordinary dream", I was on a train, in this dream, a train that went on and on for what
seemed to be for hours. The train was supposed to take me to my hometown, in new York state, it had a train station once....But I saw
a great river from the window and this river was not of Seneca county. The train was bound for new York city.
A lady stewardess, or Conductor, came by to look at my ticket and she told me that my stop was next, and she helped me get off of this train.
I saw that the station was deliperated and the signpost read...


I took a walk from the station, across some Industrial-ruin type of open land, with old factories off in the distance with grass growing between the tracks of the railroad tracks. Off in the distance I could see the downtown of an old 1920 industrial city; buildings from the 1920s, unchanged. Ahead of me was what looked to be a great steel mill, the smoketowers reaching for the sky.

Monongahelia, Pennsylvania, just outside of Pittsburgh. Yes....I have never been within 80 miles of this milltown!!

there is a "convention" in writing and in life where if one , say, goes to a bar or cafe, and has lunch, just as one leaves, the bartender says something "off the wall" to you...*and* you better listen as he tells ya something of vast Importance.!
"buy united Gear"...he might say to you, as you put on your hat, to leave! He does NOT know that the day before you read in the wall street journal, on page 14, a once inch notice that United Gear Corp. is going public at $2 a share! You then buy a 1000 shares and a year later the company is bought out at a vast vast profit!!

so there is a "Incidence" of this in my not-so-ordinary, ordinary dream!!

*JUST* as I stepped off of the train, onto the platform, the lady conductor suddenly tells me, in a voice that was *not* part of the dream.....



Waitttt a minute!
Here I am, getting off of this train into a place Unexpected and then I am Told that I have one year to get ready for something.....Did not help matters that one of the major factories that I saw had a big signboard on the front of it...."SCHISM CORPORATION"!

...I wonder what astral records that she consulted with?
Betcha I know where and what she is referring to.....

but is she right?!
what do I bet?!
This a couple of weeks after my sister tells me.....coming from heaven to tell me..."Father Dudley will live ten more years unless he learns how to love"! But he died in 1987, one more year after Mom's prophecy date for him to die: a year extension as he Forgave me, and we two had a wonderful reunion!

"In one year you will begin your spirit life" the master told me, in dream, on may 13th of 2002..

MAY have a "one year extension" encoded within it!!
thus, *not*..."2003-4
but extended to 2004-5!!

thus the "limit" is may 13th of 2005, if I have a year of "extension"!!

one year to get ready, the Conductor tells me, in a Tone of a "Stern Warning". I better listen!!

I better not cancel my "one year to live" weblog!!!!!!

Wednesday, November 26, 2003

well here it is theday before thanksgiving, here in Tallahassee. I give to you all the photo of one of the outlying wild places. there is mystery here.....

Tuesday, November 25, 2003

hoo hoo....
I am still recovering from yet another Encounter, with someone that I knew from years ago.

"chapel perilous"
---this is where a soul has evolved, in the reincarnations, so that this soul has Progressed to the level where thoughts and feelings can actually
something to the environment around this person!!!

Real Magik!!
...and NO Rituals...incantations....Evocations,
are needed, or even thought of: just the person walking down the street and having a thought, with a feeling with it, about a house he passes....is enough!!
Enough to maybe have a window break, or perhaps a spill of coffee, by the owner, against the white paint, days or even weeks later!!!

"chapel perilous"...as this point in the evolution, of this soul, is fraught with the greatest, greatest of
dangers that if this person has not yet kept up with his own soul-growth, to keep up with the soul level, he Could Do Real Damage!!
Damage all right, being "immature" or just not evolved enough, in *this* life, why he could hurt, ruin, or even destroy things!
*then* that negative karma is added to his soul-karma!!

when, years ago, I just "merely" talked to this person, that night a bugspray truck
came mistakenly right into the property and nearly sprayed the insides of my trailer!!

I have now learned that just to talk to him, that following night will mean "an intrusion" of something to keep me awake!

Being in such a situation, this person....Ouch!
If such a person were to criticize, say, a church he goes to, criticize it with "real", and valid comments about how "awful" this church is....His comments could actually affect this church and the people within it! *MAKE* the church actually become the negative thing, even the greater than it is, by his comments! Then he will see that this church has become even more "negative".

the Wheel tightens.....
the Spin, of the whirlpool, becomes faster...
Now this church, being seen as being now even the more "negative", by this person, of course he will see this and then fling back to one and all what he sees! Then the church becomes even more to reflect his now even the more negative attitude...Which of course he will have him to *really* put the place down for "really really good reasons!"

how far will it go?: in music....the microphone/speaker loop, will go to "howl-squeal"!
Probably the church will end up burning down, say....*then* he might say that "God
did vindictive action against this place"!!

see...*most* of us are protected by our "young soulness"! You or I might have negative feelings about the house/people next door, but nothing will be connected between you and them: your feelings are just that and they are contained.
NOT so this Chapel perilous person! His feeling judgment will "try", by this "magik", to directly affect this thing that he has the feeling about!!

a saying I read....
"to someone with a great power, must also come a great Responsibility"!

On my childhood rifle caliber-22 bullet box....
"range one mile, be careful"!!

with *this* magik person, each and every thought and feeling has a "range" of miles and miles: *everything* Deforms, around him, to his judgments!!

---so what is the "cure" for this soul?!
more self-discipline, probably....
too, this soul should try to Connect with the further growth of his soul, to enable the Spiritual realms, crossing the Abyss of "being able to Magik, but not yet grown in Wisdom and Understanding, ladled with a lot of LOVE! *then* he might be a Positive "emitter" of love and Aid, to all those around him!!

Problem is, with this person that I know, is that many of his critical statements about a place, a cafe, food, the weather, are quite quite CORRECT!
[every city, every restaurant, every person...has "warts"!!
anything can be validly criticized. Only *this* person's criticisms Bite!]

do I not agree with him, in criticism?
---that is like denying that the "sky is blue colored"!
If he, say, tells me that the cafe coffee is bitter and cold, and I taste that, he is not wrong! The waitress, behind the kitchen, not even hearing what he says, might have spilled grease on her white smock; not connecting this small accident to this person's feelings, but his critique Did Damage!!

do I expect him to be a "polyanna"?!!! Nothing but sweetness and upbeatness?
cannot be done. Should not be done. Not real, anyway....for him to try this.

I think that many Hippies near-ruined their lives, when they got "increased awareness", via drugs or Rituals!! They accelerated the "magik" side of their soul, ahead of the growth of Understanding, wisdom, and love! They did real damage, to others...to themselves.
if one multviatimen pill is Good for ya, then is 100 pills, of this multivitamen, 100 times better?! 100 pills per day.
--probably many of the hippie-gurus fell into this....just recall the "squirrelyness" of that Antelope Community, out there in Oregon! Not "Ras-Nesh, so much, but all of his inner circle of devotees. All of that power and Kundilini!!
short circuits to the lower chackras, I guess; pupils do not yet have their upper Centers ready to stand the intense vibrations....

I guess, if I meet this person again, I will have to TRY to not agree with things he says that seem "negative"....with 5 planets in Cancer including the sun and moon: all of the inner planets with mars in Pisces.....this could be very very hard to do, as a Cancer archetype is TO bond with the other person being related to!!

Monday, November 24, 2003

Interesting how I dream other people's dreams!!

least it seems that way!
It is getting ever ever the more so, now, after I moved to Georgia belle. It is as if I use other people's life experiences, and use them to weave my dreams with: I live as if I *am* someone else, in these dreams!
Tis usually "astral' too....I am in a spirit place, usually a place so very near the earth sphere that one might think it is here on earth, except that there are ways that I see to be able to tell that it is not.

last night, I dimly recall being amongst a group of several people who went with a Guide to see a brotherel section of an astral slum! About ten to twenty people went on this "tour". Yes a whole block of protistutes and a kitchen area, dining area just for them, as if all of the block were really all of one "house"!
the girls all wore red dresses and all were of the black race. So were "house managers and workers"...all of the negro race. Customers too.
several of the tour takers were white people!
*some* of these tour-takers freaked out! I could watch how some "little old lady"
just frreeeaked!....went into denial mode and froze in disgust. The red-dressed ladies stood in a room, where their were rooms off to the sides for the customers.
food in the kitchen dining area too: pork chittlens and food of the old black south!
[astral replication of a large old Mississippi town's slum???]
I can dimly recall being fondled by one of these ladies...

so you wanna dream other people's dreams?!!
well...some of them are *NOT* nice!!!!!
I have died often over the years, dying where I relieved other people's deaths.
falling...Drowning....Heart attacks....You name it! Having sex too, *as* a woman....
Russia, china,France...different places.

Once I was one of about 20 gay men having a nakedparty in a lakefront cottage somewheres by a large lake! 20 naked men writhing in sex-orgy, in the living room, a huge orgy of gaysex! I awoke as someone's penis was inserted into my rectum!!
I, a 'straight" older man of 62, why this certainly was a different kind of experience!! Be that way when ya dream other people's lives......

Thursday, November 20, 2003

men at work cutting down a tree. As I walked to my church, for lunch, where they have that cafe in the kitchen area, open to the public....I saw besides the church, where a row of nice liveoak trees were, men cutting down one or two, they had died, recently!
about a year ago, the church restored their 150 year old building, a great Undertaking for the church, a great re-vitialization, for them.

I saw a deep ditch dug next to the two trees, last year, and then 10 ton trucks mashed down the grass, the killing stroke, for these trees!!

---there was a letter on the table, for everyone to read, about how sad they were
that they had to remove these dying trees....They will plant more later.

I noted how these two trees died in the process to Restore the old, beautiful church!!
They gave their lives, in a sense, in sacrifice, for this Undertaking
I have Noticed!
noticed how something has to die, in order for a "new" to be built!
I even read, once, of how an artist sat before her blank canvass, unable to paint a single stroke, in her beginning of her painting!! She then saw that she was afraid to KILL the canvass!!
I guess, when anything is transformed, the prior thing is "killed", *must* be killed first!!

when the Dutch settlers first settled Manhattan island, the center of new York city, in the 1600s, this island was renowned for its sweet springs and wonderful farmland!
[Lots of trees gave their lives for *that* city!!]

well, Jesus, himself, gave his life, for us all.....

I suspect that most people in this church are unaware that the trees died, as a result of the new construction: this "reconstruction took a year and, yes, the Sancuary is very very beautiful!
two trees gave their lives, for this....

perhaps the artist who stared at that blank canvass should have gone out to a pet shop and got two baby white mice and set her two cats on the living room rug and then let the mice out and watched very very closely as the cats pounced upon them and killed them and ate up each!
mouse.....goes to....*cat*: transformation!!

even if we walk on down to the VEGAN food store, we crush hundreds of bugs under our shoes!!
even if I get a job, surely perhaps the person next in line, for this job, "needed"
it more than I...Maybe he has 6 kids and is broke, and needs it far far more than I!!
even if I just buy a item in the store, the other brands of the same item that I passed up...well....several Eastern Asian workers did NOT get fed that day....for their work: i did NOT buy their work!!

I can sense why some "ana", or anorexic, people feel ashamed just to take up space and use oxygen!!

solution: accept that for each thing that ya do, something has to die!!
just be sure that the 'death' is worthwhile; that the SACRIFICE is for a good cause!!
be sure that the transformed event is "higher in octave vibration" than the subject that died!!



.......About Zarfhome

Zarfhome is my web site. Zarfhome is about what I do.

Zarfhome is not a "blog", or web-log. A web-log is a personal collection of links to other web sites. Zarfhome has some links to other web sites, but they are footnotes -- "see also" links. Zarfhome is about the material I put up on Zarfhome.

Zarfhome is not a diary. I don't update it every day. I don't sit down and create material solely because Zarfhome needs something new.

Zarfhome is about what I do, and some of what I do is commercial.

I do a lot. If you wander this site, you'll see that. I have things that are art, things that are games, things that are programs, things that are tools. I think some of these things are pretty cool.

I want you to see my cool things, sure. But I want more. I want everyone to do more cool things; I want more cool things, more than I can produce, more than any one person could produce.

...More writeups, on this interesting site, on my
link weblog!

[I have this here weblog, of just links, and a write-up, about each of the sites that I link to, for me to Keep Track of all the AMAZING sites that I have found, over the months, so that I can find them again!
So please come look at all the Interesting places that I have seen.....]

Wednesday, November 19, 2003

I can find myself in the way you are thinking,however I really believe that the youth these days doesn`t listen to the words or music but rather to the beat,because this is the "beat" they live to...................in this world.

...A comment that someone wrote, about "anger" and music of kids today...In a recent post.

Yes I agree with this!
I, a psychic sensitive, get angry just from walking a block along a city street full of traffic!! All those people in those cars....I can just imagine how....

---she is late for her meeting, why wont the car ahead speed up?!!
---he hates it, so stupid the driver next to him....
the whole population, in this age of "increased awareness" is ever the more up against
"Resistances", something to overcome or to get completed!

anger, too...as so many people in a city are so individualistic, that anything and everything that you say, or make public, will offend someone DEEPLY and they will
take it very very personally and might even take you to task for it!!

there was an old computer game, made by Bethsoft/besetha, called
"Arena". A RPG world where every bit of the world outside of the towns fought you, thus the whole world was called "the Arena"!

so it is indeed "in the air"!
the very atmosphere , in cities, is saturated with anger and this is not necessrarily a bad thing, if one can channel this anger to some creative act.

Monday, November 17, 2003

at the coffee shop this morning at 7 am, the college girl behind the counter and i talked a bit about
"why the ANGER in music, today"!

I had to leave as she had suddenly many more customers, but she wants to talk about it tomorrow.
I told her
"i cannot imagine how someone would be comfortable listening to anger, in their car, for hours and hours, unless this music were one with their souls!" Perhaps this angermusic reflects something wrong with our whole culture!
I will have to talk to her this week.

Thursday, November 13, 2003

There is a yahoo/egroups mailing list called "earthchanges", I wrote this letter, below, to them just now. I got tired of seeing posts, on this list, that seemingly ranted on and on and on, using superhyped words, describing spiritual and political ideas!
I think in images, thus these words were lost on me. Paragraphs and paragraphs...Pages and pages of words like of jet contrails at 30,000 feet: look so pretty up there but so far away! I cannot reach up and touch these contrails!


Hello everyone,

Been awhile since I wrote a "personal" letter to "Earthchanges", as I have forwarded my weblog journal from
my weblog, at
over the months.

---there was a couple of entries that caught my eye, as I read through...

One, a review of a book....."15,000 times more advanced than the Christ" [the entity spoke of]
[how? why? who is the Christ? What Does this high level mean?....Questions not asked or answered, in this review!]

two...Letters with paragraphs and pages and pages and pages of
verbal words that I cannot pick up, as I think only in images...Mostly political and financial words!

All this reminds me, sports fans, of an image that I once had, of a person with a bowl of water, eating it with a fork! 95% of that water slipped through the tongs of this fork so that he had to really really make fast motions of "fork to mouth" over and over, at a very fast speed, in order to get any water into his mouth!

I call this..."Spiritual Inflation"!
This is where the message gets ever ever ever the more strident or ever the more Grandiose/complex, as "simple descriptions" are "not enough"!
[like in "drug fix", as one must take ever the more of the drug in order to get the same high!]

In ADVERTISEMENTS: this "inflation" usually means that the product advertised is less in Quality than what is presented---the empty-er the product, the more the talk, the more the hype!

For ME, I have a simple outlook on "life-reality"!

---heaven IS!
---heaven is full of spirits, Guides, Masters, and ascended Avatars, like of Jesus, and they all want to help you.
---the higher the heaven [there are many levels]
the more Love, Truth, goodness, beauty, are the Reality, there.

--like attracts like.
---we all go to *a* heaven after we die. [some levels are *not* nice, I have astral traveled to some of these hells!]

thus, sports fans, the Simple Philosophy of Freestone is....Live here in the world, in your life, *LIKE*
you are now living in the highest heavens, where Jesus lives, where Love, Truth, Goodness, beauty, are the reality. Having the Celestial heavens in your heart, as you live your life, will attract you to there after you die, AND while you are alive, on earth, in that Vibration, you will have the Angels, Angelic souls, and
Jesus....As your spirit companions, in spirit, to help you on your lifepath!

live here now like you are already There!

---that is SO simple, that one line!


Wednesday, November 12, 2003


Late afternoon, I went to my once per week coffee shop. I soon became very
DEPRESSED! For no reason, seemingly, and I left, and only after a bit of time did the depression go away.
Of COURSE! The coffee shop is right next to the American Legion Hall, *and* the Viet Nam vet Center!! Less than 100 feet away, for both! And it *is* veteran's day, the day of Mourning........

Oh beware, I say, for a "psychic sensitive", if you, sports fan, are one....Be aware of your thoughts and of your feelings: often they are not your own!!

I have often come to grief, as I have picked up the atmosphere around me and thought it was my own stuff! Tis a "no brainer' that a Legion Hall, on Veteran's Day, will have an aura of depression! But I have often ate in cafes that *looked* nice, but were filled with anger or depression!

---and that vet thing, I can well imagine that part of the Pain, in the air, comes not only for sadness over the fallen Vets, it is that in the Iraq war, the killings go on and on and on and there seems to be no way to stop these deaths!
Oh we could get out, then have the country go into a bloodbath as the factions fight amongst themselves and then the "winner" go to Purge everyone who resisted! 100,000+ we are talking of here, maybe 1,000,000-plus!!
Oh we could "go the imperialist extreme"....Go in and make Iraq and afghan *part* of America...Go in and make them into permanent American states!!
Oh we could "muddle on, trying to institute democracy into a place where it could take 500 years to cultivate amongst the people a sense of what democracy is!!
"zero to 100 MPH in .0000002 seconds"....That is "getting democacy to work in Iraq"!

Get Used to DEATH!!

perhaps we all could get used to the Idea of "culling the herd"...Get out of Iraq and then let Darwin
Take the Course....Survival of the fittest and then in that part of the world the population will be Culled to a very very low level: better for the earth's environment!!

There was a editorialist in the local paper who wrote, to me, an Interesting idea: that America is about "79 AD"...About the time of the volcanic ruin of Pompeii, where the Imperial might of Rome was stretched too too thin, and Christianity is about to "excoragate", or convert, the core of the ruling class of Rome and cause it to fall.
---this writer ponders that perhaps in the West, a Cult will rise, a cult that will end America as a way of life!
I shudder!!
I fear that someday we ALL will decide, collectively, that "freedom of choice" just leads to chaos and then we all choose to stop this by letting some authoritative Person or Cult, do all our thinkings for us, so that we all can go on to living our lives without stress or fear!
I do NOT fear, so much, the idea of a cult, I fear much MORE greatly that *each* of us, individually, "when it is Time to do so" will just choose this as a collective, near unconscious act!! That suddenly you, and I, will *WANT* this, and then do it: back to

"super...Ultra" Puritanism

of some sort, and NO deviant thinkings will be permitted, as that Pendulum swings way way way back, in its "corrective" swingings!!!

If, I fear, the extremist El-Queada world, would ever feel that they "have won", if America pulls out, they will feel that their extremism is Justified!
Soon, then, very soon later, the earth will become Polorized between the West and the Muslim
fundamentalists: both cannot co-exist in the same space and then you *will* learn how to shoot a gun or else contemplate your Tombstone!!
----the Owner's manual speaks of this, in the Book of Revelation!!

ah yes, a mess; but if you, sports fan, were to accept that you WILL die, by old age if nothing else, then you can go on living, enjoying our


of "now and today", making the best of it, knowing that winter's breath will come some day!!
Sometimes the very BEST weather occurs during that Fall period of the year!

MY guess is that the Mayan calendar date of 2011.....2012...2015 [thereabouts]
is the Time of the Frost of Winter: either earthquakes...astroid...war....or all of the above at once, will occur.
the West will die, then, as either a political entity or of a physical entity!

but that gives us all 10 to 12 years or so......to make amends...learn to love...finish up our Lessons of soul growings.
......My thought for veterans day.........Freestone

Monday, November 10, 2003


the 10th of november already!!

Now i know *much* more about my mother's may 2, 1999, dream where she came down from her upper heavens to meet me out of body to tell me three numbers!

"3 39 99"

Assuming that my sister's visit from heaven interpets to where I live to be 73, dying in 2014-5, then
from mother's death date of october 5th 1975 to october of 2014.....

----IS 39 YEARS!!

well, it looks as if i have a few more years left, sports fans! Time to live, to write more stuff in my weblogs....
astral travel nightly, now.....I slept, like 10 hours last night and I followed one man to heaven, but my telling of the tale would be hard to do, in a short letter, and too too vague.

so i use that metaphorof that mysterious spanish moss, here! Those wooded mossey trees have to me a kind of "gothic mystery"!

that there is MORE to what one sees, than what is apparent to the immediate senses!!!

I will leave, here, for today....tommorrow is a holiday and most of the libraies are closed....

Saturday, November 08, 2003

that car image seems to confer to me a symbol of what my "I might live only a few months", thing, means to me!!


stuck in the Crossing, as I wait wait wait to die, tomorrow...next day...or????Whenever!!

I *could* get stuck like this.

HOWEVER.....Last night's dream is the "logjam breaker", now I have not this concern anymore!!

on November 5th, In the middle of nameless, unremembered, not so important dreams, all of a sudden I became very *VERY* vividly awake, in my dream!! Something from "Outside" intruded into my subconscious dream spasms!!
"outside" as in 'from Spirit realm"!

It was my sister Suanna!! She died in 1986, the spring of 1986.

I was sitting on my childhood bed, back in my childhood room, and then she appeared and then she told me just one sentence and this sentence , the TONE of this sentence is a tone that I cannot convey in print, the Tone was *very* gravid, very very s-e-r-i-o-u-s in tone, the kind of voice that implies
"you NEED to burn this one into your brain, your memory"!!

she said,


I immediately woke up!

a prophecy of great import: but one littttle trouble: Dudley died in 1987!!!!
He was prophesied to die at 72, according to my mother's vision, but he lived yet one more extra year as he forgave his son [me] and we two had a grand reunion!!
Dudley learned how to love!!!

---so suanna would be as if she was giving to me that prophecy on about November 5th of 1976, the same date that my friend Jeff bought the house and trailer that I lived in until a month ago. 1976...1986 = 10 years, and one more year makes it 11 years to 1987. Dudley lived 11 years from Nov 5th of 1976.

on Nov 5th of *this* year, the dream day....Jeff Signs the contract to SELL the property!! 27 years later. Maybe to the day!!

is suanna's dream a veiled warning that I am not "loving", or just what *is* her meaning to this message?!
I would consider myself to be "loving"...Especially in the light of going back to my my hometown to be with my father for a year, in 1986-7!

well, I could ramble on here...But her message is......In Code: Freestone, me, will live another 11 years!! Die at 73 years old, *like* my father *And* my grandfather, before me! 2014...27 years after father died!!

that is the message:


Wednesday, November 05, 2003


why is it that autistic people have problems with "disorder" and "changes in routines": my take on this!

Yes, sports fans, I have wondered that too...
I do not think that the doctors and the psyc people really know why, and I *think* I know why!!
these doctors and the psyc people often do not think in images so that they are clueless as to why
so many autistic children and adults have so much trouble in changing of routines and of even
something like of this...
"mama, when you clean my room, please oh please do not disturb anything on the desk"
"yes son, I will not touch a thing"
Mama goes into room and lifts a bandana off of the desk to clean under it and then places this bandana-cloth back down in the same spot.
Son has a temper tantrum of huge magnitude and the fragile bond between he and Mom is almost ruined, as the Trust between he and mom is gone.

Mom, see, did not place that bandana down on the desk in the *EXACT* same spot!!!! She was
clueless!! She thought that merely placing it in the same place is the same as placing it in the INDENTICAL same spot!

as in...
change for a $20 bill comes to about $19.00, you get $19.00 back from the clerk, for a candy bar, as you pay with a $20.
change is $19.01
---they are *NOT* the same! You *would* make a fuss would you not?!!

I was clued in on this, once, when I visited a house that I lived in for years, as it was halfway being demolished, and the living room was partially bulldozed so that the walls were all crooked. My head felt as if it were in a vise, as the room, outside, did not correspond to my image of the room INSIDE
of my brain!

*that* is the secret as to "why" of why autistic kids have trouble with changes, I feel!!
I think in image pictures and thus I have an image of my desktop inside of my head and if someone were to move a bandanna that is on top of this desk, just .001 of an inch, to the left, then this outer image is NOT in correspondence with my inner image!!
[one can get a feel of this process by using their computer to copy an image from one internet site onto their computer. This user would get *very* upset if that image did NOT get transferred correctly!! Thus, for an autistic person, the outer image, of something, is the same as the inner image: when this is "ruined", there is great stress!
Same with time too! "time' is a kind of image space.

I would imagine that most autistic kids have so so so little self-confidence, as it is, that any "out of their control" activity, really really un-nerves them! [like the mother moving that cloth!]

solution: stand by the kid and tell the child that the bandanna must be picked up so that the desk can be cleaned! Either ask him to pick it up himself, or to pick it up with him watching. Maybe even placing
his hand on top of it with your hand on top of his and then BOTH of you move the cloth!
try to have it where there is a 'safe place", like his room, where nothing is moved

As long as he or she is "part of the Process", of changes, the stress will be less, and the Trust will increase!!

suppose you wake up one morning and find that you car is about one foot closer to the curb than where you recall parking it. Did the car move? Is the brakes failing?! Later, that day, at your office, you take a break from your desk to get a coke and when you come back with can in hand, your desk is moved to the other side of the room!! And no one admits to moving it.
after work, you go out to find that your white car is a pink car! A raspberry pink!!

you LOSE IT!!!!!
---how would you like to live your whole life like that?!! Many auties do!!

what occurs is that once an image of something is formed, whether of a room, or of a routine, in time/place, that image is in the brain, and naturally that person expects that the outer thing that is the image, will be always the same, just like the inner image. Like two wings of a butterfly, each wing *must* be the utter mirror image of each other, or there is a great
DISCORDANT, if one wing does not mirror the other wing!

---you know that feeling when that row of trees outside of your window, that you have looked at for 10 years, has it where one tree falls over and is removed. Then you suddenly feel very "disturbed" whenever you look at this row as that missing tree spot really REALLY stands out, as inside your head there is still that solid row of trees!!

*this* is magnified incredibly greatly, I feel, in autism!

the "trick" is, for a help, probably....is to have the child try to be "in control" of all the changes. If he HAS to have something changed, try to do it with him.
just as...

that lady who finds her car turn pink.........Suppose a officemate comes to her and tells her that he paints cars on the side and here is an offer that you cannot refuse and your car is fading and needs a paint job, and I have a special on pink tint!! He paints her car pink, while she is at work: he returns the car at 5 pm....
SHE is In Control,of the Change!!

Tuesday, November 04, 2003


well last night's astral traveling sure takes the cake for strange and even "threatoning" material!!
I say "threatening" as what I saw goes against many grains of what people would like to read when they read about "someone going to heaven , out of body, to see places there!!!

Of course I cannot recall much of what I saw. It seemed that I was with some faceless Guide, who remained in the background, and most of my vision-activities revolved around watching and following several souls, spirit lives. I followed the progress of several people's advancements, after they got arrived, via death, into these Spirit lands.
there were the "usual" scenes of a soul being counseled and consoled, a "new arrivee" in heaven.

I particularly followed one soul, a soul that was told that she had to walk to, and to enter, the DEAD FOREST! She was told that she must enter this woods of dead trees, as a kind of "punishment", or "reward" for something that she did on earth while alive. This walk into this woods apparently is supposed to show to her the symbolic meaning of a major life-choice, and to what this choice means, symbolically, in the spirit worlds and to what Ethical meaning that this choice inferred.
I "hovered", as in a "third person computer game, in third person" overhead of this person, as the counselor pointed his finger severely in the direction of what appears to be a woods of nothing but dead trees and brown soil. She slowly walked along a trail into this woods, apparently unknowing to as to what would happen to her there. She walked slowly past the first trees.
SUDDENLY several of the nearby trees began to move as if they were living arms of some beast, and the trunks and branches acted like arms, arms that reached over the path and then the closest trunks whipped down upon this girl. Oh I could hear her SCREAM in AGONY AGONY........A squalling
series of screams that inferred that her whole worldsenses were of nothing but pain pain pain pain....
such pain that eventually she "burned out" and that she fell unconscious!

read: "pain to the MAX"!!!!!

then only the counselor and I were still there, next to these woods: I could see, about 30 feet away, a pile of rags under the trunks...Mashed flesh protruding!
this counselor turned to me and said.....[my words]
"she has to go to Hell, to experience these hells, to learn what her life means. She has to Know that
every action lived, has a symbolic correspondence in heaven, and in heaven that corresponding meaning is no longer *just* a symbol: it is what will be experienced, *AS* an experience, in the heaven worlds! She will be there for quite a while, in the various hell places, but not 'forever""!!
.....He added: " these hells are there.... As for many people who arrive into the heavens with "negative"
life paths, they must be broken, broken in body and in soul, as *that* is the only way that their "castle" of ego-rigidity can be breached!!. The only way that the meaning of their lives can be Understood, is to have it engraved into their soul-body, by various physical torments! Otherwise, their ego-castle would be such, that it would endure forever, unchanged and unchangeable, that soul would never never grow! If it cannot change, it must be SHATTERED FROM WITHOUT, in the hells!!!!"

Hell exists, and it is Not Nice! *this* one is awful!!
[I can guess as to why the punishment: "dead wood" of a "dead wood parts of a life"
"WEIGH'S ONE DOWN" in life. Thus one must endure the weight of 3 ton limbs, crushing one's body in utter pain, in heaven, afterwards....]

double yipes!
----for from what I see, in this, and in other of my experiences, the Bible -thumpers are right and true: hell exists and is real and that many many souls need to go there for awhile!...Only it is "not forever". Must seem like
"forever' to the poor soul who endures tortures of a hundred years in length!!

the second experience is "not much better"!!

---I am now in another spirit place and I can see down into the physical world. There is another soul
near me and he is trying to influence the actions of people in the scene below me. What are the earth people doing, in the laboratory that I see, upon the earth?
why developing, via breedings and genetics, animals for wars!! Breeding attack rats that are as big as cats with teeth TWO INCHES OR MORE in length! Cat size...Dog size: rats to attack troops and people with! I could dimly see yet more animals, even larger animals, in the background!
The Spirit , who was trying to influence the lab people, was ANGRY! He apparently was angry at
the great great MISUSE of animals, of life, for this purpose of wars and killings! Angry too, at the genetic manipulations: playing God for Diabolic ends!!
I, just before I left the dreams, I saw the body and face of this spirit person. He was trying to stop
these scientists, somehow, by any means possible [heart attacks?!] from carrying out their plans...
He looked "India indian"....had a orange or gold colored robe on.
The face?! I have seen it before, I think! A LIVING person, someone else who went out of body to be in the astral, thus MORE EFFECTIVE at altering the scienctist's actions, perhaps.
a living person on earth...
I think it could have been Sathya Sai baba!

in a lab, in some country.......?????????

Monday, November 03, 2003

My take on dyslexia----------

Yes, I now have a personal image of what dyslexia is.....

I am standing on a dirt road. There is a row of fenceposts besides this road. Five in all.
each post has four papers at the top, with a letter, the same letter on all four sheets and the sheets arranged so that the letter is viewed from all the four sides.

from left to right, as I walk along the path, the post "read"

......P O S T S........

as I stand at the right end of these five fenceposts, I turn around and look behind me and then someone up ahead of me, on this path, asks me to turn and tell me what the closest post is.
I tell him..."the S post."
then I note that these post spell out a word, a nonsense word as I read them from the closest post, back to the furtherest away

s t s o p

it would *NOT* be correct for me to start back at the beginning of the row of posts to do this!!
*that* would be like as if someone were to ask me, on January 10th, what I did yesterday, and then I went back to Jan 1st and then worked up to January 9th! Naturally I would "turn around" mentally, and then just "look" at my previous day, and if I needed also to see what I did on the 8th, I would back up one more day, and not go back to Jan 1st, again.

ah...Sports fans...That word "naturally"!!

*this* is what we all are supposed to do with reading a word: do an unnatural thing....."Go back to the very beginning of the month of January to see what was done on the 8th, go back to Jan 1st and then go forwards again!!
...Be like me at the 5th post, saying that the closest post is the first post, way back down the road!!
be like I drive to Los Angeles, from new York city and then someone were to ask me in Los angeles what the last big city was that I drove through last before arriving at L A? If I said....Philadelphia, pa...This questioner would think I was crazy!

but *THAT* is what is expected with "reading, writing, and words"!!!!!

I betcha that the higher preponderances of dyslexia people are found in people who think in images!!

so that is my take on
People who have trouble doing an "unnatural thing"!!

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