......also some Journalings about my psychic experiences.
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my life after Near Death Experiences: 10/01/2003 - 10/31/2003
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Friday, October 31, 2003


I went, last night, to the Tallahassee CARD office, for to meet some
"high level functioning/asperger" adults, to feel out setting up a support group for adult autistics.
There were about four of us there.

Interesting. Most of the autism-focus is upon "kids", but the awareness of the problem of "adults" is growing.
I saw three "normal-looking" men. It was only after talking for awhile with the three of them, that I noted some of their struggles.
More than the Autism, their childhood-onwards problems had more to do with a "self-image" problem, then it actually did with disabilities! Everyone around them "put them down"...Then they learned to internalize this. The oldest person there, of the three, was about 55. They all grew up in a less aware times.
The next thing that I noted, in common, was all of them having trouble living in a world and in a time of
"MULTITASKINGS"! As I told one guy..."I, myself, have trouble doing one-half thing at a time: good grief, try doing six things at once"!!
My own take, on these people...Was that while they had "disabilities", the Times and the Age and the Ways, of our modern culture, makes it even the harder for "Independent livings"!
Oh, the support is there, the support for independent living is there, and better than ever....But the need to multi-task and to think in ways that is *NOT* a strength of a autistic person, makes it harder to live in our culture , I feel!!
yes, one can do 'clerical work" perhaps, like several of these men, but the jobs are often the "lower
level" jobs! Their Intelligence and their creavitiveness has problems manifesting to the world!

we, in this country, seem to devote most of our ways of life to
"verbal thinkings", and to abstractions. abstractions that are not image based at all.


that car reviewer who reviewed a European sports car with its modern computer-controlled command system: to turn on the radio to one Particular station, took 32 discrete commands and if you messed up somewheres you have to start over and you have to devote every bit of attention to setting these commands...No attention to the road! Of course there is not one way to just manually "turn on the radio"!!
it is this system or else!! else you do not use the radio!!

One man told of how he just knows that he cannot drive! takes too too much multifocusing on several things at one time! I agreed...."putting on the brake" has absolutely NOTHING to do with 'turning the steering wheel", and I find that I have to focus on one OR the other!! Not both at once: try *that* with your windows computer: two programs at once and see how fast you will get that "illegal action code: shut down"!!!
So if he pushes the brake pedal, all of his attention is there and not a bit is left for anything else!

I, myself, got someone irked, once. I was not eating my dinner as I talked with him and he commented on this fact that my roast beef was just sitting there uneaton, he commented sort of "putdownly"! I replied that...."How in somethings name can I eat
that roast beef when I am *IN* the picture of the streets that you are describing?! You are telling me about the streets of new York, the streets that I have walked, myself, years ago, and I see no roast beef there on the sidewalk! Oh, I suppose I can leave my image to focus on lifting the knife upwards and inserting it, with fork, onto the meat and cutting and cutting, having to pay attention to eachmovement of this knife and fork and to cut and fork and stab and place in mouth and chew. I am not in 5th avenue then, and in fact that scene is gone gone gone, I cannot get back to where it was before I tore away from it to pay attention to my food: I do not ask you, seatmeate, to tell me what you ate on July 8th, of 1991, for supper, do I? You forgot that long long ago, thus when I leave your picture image, it is


and I have trouble restarting it, so please just let me listen and to talk, the food is not a relevant thing!!
it gets in the way!

I have left entire meals upon the table, after an hour or so of talk, as both of us get up to leave!

The other men, why one guy even told me, first, what my awareness-philosophy is....In his own words, before I got around to telling my version. That his world is seen through a knothole, while everyone else has a picture-window, to peer through!!

so this is some of my observations and of course all this description of the meeting is not organized in a sense as I describe it
"associatively"! I make a VERY poor organizer, when I review something!

Thursday, October 30, 2003

---yet another "astral' type of dream last night: too too disorganized, for me to comment upon!

But this dream makes me yet more aware, aware of just dreams can be the "border' between this world of the living and the otherside world of the afterlife realms!
Many of my dreams, as i think that is so for most people, have elements of BOTH worlds all mixed up into one dream!
it is as if i visit that afterlife world, bringing some of my own images to it, images from my own subconsciousness, from my own life.
ponit is...i think that nearly everone that has vivid dreams has times when they encounter the afterlife realms!

ya go to visit heaven but ye do not know it: you think that it is only a dream!

Wednesday, October 29, 2003

[a (?out of print) album cover from
Welcome to the Projekt / Projekt: darkwave website. Thanks for your interest in the label I began way back in 1983! This site is an information service as well as a web-store stocking Projekt releases and non-Projekt Darkwave artists. ]

I got this letter, in reply to my weblog post about the Viet Nan vets who have Obsessing spirits near them, of other dead soldiers.

In response to your Vietnam vet story, I was reminded
of the last expo I
participated in. A man sat down and said that he had
been in Vietnam.
Instantly a Vietnamese soldier "popped in" just over
his right shoulder. I
have seldom seen an earthbound spirit so vividly. My
friend P was also
sitting there and saw the man too.

(Not Coincidentally) P. had been to Vietnam and
visited the war museum
there. A long conversation ensued and during this
time, I believe we
succeeded in releasing both these men from their
karmic entanglement. I
believe this is very valuable work. I have also
released a soldier from
Gettysburg. When the reenact those battles it just
reinforces the "reality"
for the earthbound soldiers there.........

yes, very good!

I suppose when these earthbound soldiers run out of energy and thus have to reincarnate, they will incarnate full of rage and want to continue fighting...
read: "terrorists"!!
I can think of many countries that are "entry points" now.....

Yes a person who is psychic, on earth, can be a bridge between spirit and the earth. The stuck souls cannot see their spirit helpers but they can see the earthly medium, so that they can connect with their Guides and helpers via that incarnated person!

"be aware of your thoughts and feelings: often, all too often, they are not your own"!
...This is a quote coming from a Guide, speaking through a medium, talking about the "demons"
who are these earthbound souls, who hover near a person and try to get them to drink, to get angry, to kill themselves...etc..etc.!!
too..often these lost souls are aided by yet more powerful entities who *live* in the dark regions and may never ever have been incarnated AS a human...these souls are the *REAL* demons...demons who influence the lost, stuck., souls!! Thus the "air" above a person, can be a very busy place!!

yes, OWN your thoughts, claim them or else deny and release them, if they are not yours!!
I can see how for some souls, to kill themselves or to hurt themselves...That comes from these obsessing souls...These souls hate that person who is incarnated, or else wants them to die so that he can go be with them in hell!!

Tuesday, October 28, 2003

I talked to a construction worker this morning: he came into my 7 am coffee cafe, from the construction job next door.

He is a Vietnam vet.
takes 22 pills a day, he says, for his stress and the Post Vietnam syndrome.
I told him about the Cage, the "Puju Cage" in front of the local chapter building of a Vietnam Vet organization, here, in Tallahassee. For years, they had on display, a Puju cage reconstruction, in front of their yard, near the sidewalk.

Puju cage....This is a cage of iron bars or strong bamboo, where the prisoners of war, captured by the Vietnam soldiers, were often kept. An animal cage, really, as it is about five foot to a side, many men who were kept there, spent months in them, I guess!

I told this man about what I thought was the "hidden symbol" of this veteran's club showing of this cage. It is as if the vets, many of them, are still *IN* the cage, still *IN* Vietnam, even years and years later!! They are in Vietnam, in their heads and thus live *like* they are still there!

a spirit guide once wrote about how many of the vets have many many souls of earthbound soldiers, near them, in spirit, souls who still have not accepted either death or their Fates, their anger towards the "enemy" still burns!
These are most often soldiers from our side, but including soldiers from the Vietnam people, as well as soldiers from other wars, and local Vietnam wars [war has been going on long LONG before even the French had their turn at it, Vietnam had been in war for hundreds of years! Just *think* of the number of earthbound warriors that could be generated from these years!!]

when the TWILIGHT ZONE TV program was re-created, in the 1980s, one of their shows showed the hell of a Vietnam vet! He had many many souls of soldiers, "above" him, in spirit, and the rage rage rage was terrible, hundreds of spirits full of rage and when an owner of a cafe "put down' this vet, when all the vet wanted was just a meal, there, all of the spirits somehow totally destroyed the cafe and killed this owner, in a fit of terrible, terrible RAGE!!

....So many of these vets still are in Vietnam! "fighting their inner demons", as a counselor once wrote. But this spirit Guide says that these demons are Real!

I suspect that when many of these vets die, if their conflicts are not resolved and there are no healings, forgiveness, or of lovingness done, when they die, they will also become either earthbound and attach themselves to other vets of other wars, like of Iraq...Or either they will go to a HELL world, where all of the spirits are still in war: one vast vast Arena of Gladiators fighting a never never-ending fight with each other!

Monday, October 27, 2003

the campus at Florida state university

that lady who I wrote about the other day.....I saw here again: she was not "negative' this time!! I guess everyone has a "bad day"!
maybe I did NOT want to think about what she said...."Her relatives, especially her children, are not nice to her and ignore her...etc...etc"!
maybe she could be right: that there *are* relatives from hell, and they are just waiting for her to die and then they will fight like animals over her inheritance and then be enemies with each other from then on!!

-not a nice thing to think about: that one's kids are not nice people!
that a complaining old lady could be right!

Saturday, October 25, 2003




Willard Straight Hall (left) and McGraw Tower (right) frame a view of West Campus and Cayuga Lake.

Please Note

This camera is located outside and is thus subject to current weather conditions. We do our best to clean the lens as promptly as possible.

I can almost see the very house that I was born and raised in, here!! way way off in the distance. Cornell University, this is, the live cam.
go look in the wintertime!!




Willard Straight Hall (left) and McGraw Tower (right) frame a view of West Campus and Cayuga Lake.

Please Note

This camera is located outside and is thus subject to current weather conditions. We do our best to clean the lens as promptly as possible.

I can almost see the very house that I was born and raised in, here!! way way off in the distance. Cornell University, this is, the live cam.
go look in the wintertime!!

Friday, October 24, 2003

Interesting "little old lady" that I met on the bus, the other day!!

I helped her get on the bus, and we both rode back to the Georgia belle. I helped her get off, and we both walked back the one block. During this time, she talked of her life and how her UNGRATEFUL, uncaring, relatives are so caught up in living their lives that they pay to her so little attention! That they all live, her children and her inlaws, in big suburban houses and they have money and that they seem to always be Cold to her.

[boy! Seems to be that she is a lady who lives as if it is "1950" and that the means today's her- younger relatives ignore that old Meaning of..."Respect your elders and when they get old, they should live with you, in your home, and that you should Pay them Their Regards as being "old" and need the Care that you can give to them: they raised you and now it is Payback Time, just as when YOU get old, you would want your children to take you in"
----that she is in the right and being discriminated against by her children, the "disliked" kids who hate her]

----I pondered, later.
I pondered the walk and the ride on the bus where she talked to me a lot. I recalled how COMPLAINING
she was, in everything!
"bitchy", actually!
I did not feel comfortable with the TONE of her voice, as if she had 87,003 unspoken "chits" to present to the Angel Gabriel, after she dies and comes to heaven...chits that all say..."life is a bitch, just LOOK at all the things that life presented to me that are just aaaaawwwww-full!

would I want to have her live with me?!!

yet again, sports fans, a Lesson. A lesson in "always judge the judger" whenever they talk about something! There is always another side to every story. I wonder what these kids of hers would tell me if I were to ask them?!! *would* they tell me..."We love Mom, but she wears us down with her bitter complaints about everything. The very flowers would wilt in her presence and thus I/we just cannot bear to have her around for very long...too too stressful!!"

as we entered Georgia belle, she lit up with a more greater emotional snit about how she dislikes her relatives and holds a never ending dislike, of them.
I then told her about how one cannot "win" an argument with the Devil by talking the devil's own language!! That one should Love and forgive these relatives: after all , you all will meet in heaven some day, better forgive and love, NOW, before you die!

she changed the subject quickly!

if I had Persisted in my "folly", in trying to awaken her...She would probably "add me to her List, of people who are against her"!!
"awaken her".....The fact of how everyone, while a star in their own play and everyone around them is a bit player: one is a supporting player in everyone else's dramas where they are the stars! Thus when one plays a part in another's drama, one radiates outwards a certain AFFECT and that affect
causes the other players to act and to react, accordingly. One is, so to speak, often unaware of their
own "body odor"....

I suppose she feels that she is RIGHT in her bitches on everything around her, and that other people Just Not Knows How Things Are!! She wants to be accepted, bitterness or not!

but it is HARD for most people to
"pet a porcupine or a scorpion"!!

Thursday, October 23, 2003

[from http://www.bahiker.com/slideshows/ranchosapics.html
Using bahiker.com

Bay Area Hiker was created toHikers on Buzzard's Roost, Big Basin State Park fully explore the diverse and wonderful spectrum of hiking in the San Francisco bay area. This is a work in progress, so if you want to share your thoughts about any hikes that are not yet featured, drop me a line.
Featured hikes will range geographically from around Robert Louis Stevenson State Park to the north, to Mount Diablo in the east bay, Henry Cowell State Park to the southwest, and Henry Coe State Park to the southeast.
The centerpiece of this site is the hikes. Each hike has its own page.
thanks....there are a *LOT* of wonderful photos of the San Francisco area on this site!!]

Well, yesterday, on my walk to the mall......
Just outside of the entrance to this mall, on this Glorious Indian summer Tallahassee day, I saw a Persimmon tree. I could see that there were a few persimmons left...Southern wild persimmons.
Just at this moment, a "homeless man" was approaching from the other direction and we both met just at the tree as I was reaching up into this tree to pick a ripe fruit. I, at the same moment, yelled to him, about the Wonders of persimmons. He also looked at me and then begun to ask me for money. His face looked, to me, to speak of "alcoholic need"...Where if he did not have his Drink, the shakes are not far far off! He paid to me not the slightest bit of attention, after I did not turn to engage him into his need-trip: he walked onwards....
perhaps he began to drink, like most drinkers, and the path of drink led to alcoholism. By now, drink has become his life, his world. The "hole in his record album, where every bit of his soul-songs revolves around"!! There are no fruit, in his world, only drinkneeds.
I suppose, if I read aright, that many alcoholics begin where the drink actually MAKES them a "higher awareness, more stronger, person"!! But at a Terrible terrible price: his soul!!
The longer he drinks, the shorter the time between "no drink" and the shakes of "body-need" for alcohol. Eventually....The time between this shaking and the drink, becomes near ZERO: he will be drunk all of the time, dawn to dusk!
*and* this is only the very very beginning!! When he dies, the Need is still there, in his soul, for Drink!! Only he cannot ever get fulfillment if he finds some astral drink!
"Hungry ghost"...is his name, after he dies, as the only way that he can get drink, is to be near other drinkers, on earth, and absorb some of their buzz, vicariously! many many recovering alcoholics have such trouble quitting as perhaps as many as 100 "hanger-oners", 100 disembodied souls, are hovering over him, in spirit, urging him to Drink, as these 100 Obsessing spirits *NEED* him to be drunk so that they can get their need-fix met!!

so this homeless man shambles away.....Perhaps no one can help him, now, as there might be no
way that anyone can reach him, as Drink Rules every thought and motive, by now......

Wednesday, October 22, 2003

Tuesday, October 21, 2003

I went out to the shuffleboard court, behind the Georgia belle apts where I live, yesterday.
[the photo is of another one!]
There were several ladies out enjoying, sitting on benches, the nice 80 degree weather.

*this* morning, "the" lady was sitting in the hall chair, awaiting yet again her ride to the distant HOME where her husband lives. This home is for people further down the road towards "nursing home", in fact it *IS* a nursing home. She, herself, is still in relative good health.

she goes nearly every day, and she spends nearly 10 to 12 hours a day there. Been married, now, for over 50 years. She tells me that most of her younger relatives are divorced at least once, but she has even older relatives that had just celebrated their 58th wedding anniversary together!
Incredible. I would NOT be surprised that if I saw the two of them together, they would look alike!
Probably might not talk to each other so much, as they used to, years ago, as by now each knows what the other will say: telepathy!!
probably he will die first, then she will die within a year or so from then, as now she will be Alone!

He will, if he dies first, he will probably have had a house built, in heaven, for her and he to live together.

Most of the people I know, younger than myself, have been re-married at least once, if not three times!!
or singleagain [one word!]
---often the divorce takes longer to "do" than the marriage lasted, with troops of lawyers in attendance, with even the Police officiating! The "kids" are pulled apart like taffy!
*this* is the way it was done, back in the Past......Marriage for life and a job for life and a house for life!!

Friday, October 17, 2003


The Death of Right and Wrong: Exposing the Lefts Assault on Our Culture and Values > Customer Review #3: The Lefts Malignant Narcissism exposed by one of their own.

This book moved me. So moved in fact that I often had to simply put the book down and walk away. The facts and reality of the agenda of those in the Left elite are demonstrated so clearly that it is hard to read, and harder still to imagine just how many lives have been and are being destroyed deliberately at the hands of the "malignant narcissists" (her term - page 26). Again, these disturbing facts in this book do not come from a religious or conservative viewpoint, but from a self professed liberal, gay, non-religious, former President of NOW - in other words, they come from inside the Left itself!

The most shocking example of just how far this worldview has penetrated our society is the fact that many of these Left elite groups actually think that sexualizing your children for their own perverted benefit is a good thing! For example, GLSEN and their cartoon STD characters (page 115), or the ongoing work of the ultimate in mainstream pedophile supporters, Judith Levine, who states that "Sex is not harmful to children...there are many ways even the smallest of children can partake in it" (page 193). As outrageous as this sounds, it is not some fringe group of marginalized pedophiles that want this evil perpetrated to rationalize their depravity, but rather the leaders of the "special interest" groups on the Left, sponsored by their friends in the media. Well-documented facts throughout the book reveal this agenda clearly.

The book is essentially a direct assault on the "Looking Glass" world of moral relativism. Within this worldview, there is no right or wrong, therefore all behaviors and all results of that behavior cannot be condemned. Of course the hypocrisy of the Left condemning others is clear to everyone, and she outlines it in example after example. Whether this is glorifying cold-blooded killers, pedophiles, and rapists, or whether it is hypocritically attacking and silencing those whose views would judge the actions of convicted murderers as "wrong" the source is the same. The cause is the "malignant narcissism" of the damaged people who comprise the Left elite, in particular those who lead the various "special interest" groups. Unfortunately, through this agenda to destroy value and virtue, everyone is painted through the lens of the worst offender, even those within those groups who are good and decent people.

Tammy Bruce has yet again written a debilitating expose on the reality of what many of these Left groups are espousing. Tammy understands and demonstrates, for perhaps the first time I have seen in print by someone from the Left, that Christianity in particular is viciously attacked. What she never explains in the book is why Christianity, and not Islam or Judaism, who are equally scathing in their judgement of the moral practices of the Left, is attacked while the others are not. Truth is likely the reason. In using CS Lewiss classic "Mere Christianity" she discovers intellectually that the morals we hold to as people, and the values our hearts embrace, are the basic virtues of "Prudence, Temperance, Justice and Fortitude". "The Left has to restrict thought to destroy the concept of judgement and undermine notions of right and wrong" (see full quote on page 19). Tammy describes the Lefts worldview is a world of self-gratification that requires an end to personal responsibility. Values, decency, and knowing right from wrong - and having the courage to act on that knowledge - are all verboten. (See full discussion on page 25)

A very powerful and moving book for anyone across the political spectrum. It is a very painful reminder that much is at stake for our society and our future. This book is a MUST READ!

I browsed, at Barnes and Nobles, this book, the other day. Amazing. Answered a question that I had, for years....
why is there so much pain and anger in the pop music?!

There was a C S Lewis book, "THE GREAT DIVORCE" , where a man took a daily tour bus, from his city, in HELL, up to heaven, for a day. He was told, by the angel driver, that no one had to get back on the bus to go back down to hell! but that, alas, most people did go back to hell!! They love their sins, that is why.
This driver says that many people, in pain, and that live in the pain hell worlds, actually come up to heaven for that day to try to CONVERT heaven into becoming hell!! For these people who live in hell, their own reality is the real thing, and any affront to it, is seen by that person as a personal affront to their very lives, a put down of themselves, utterly!
---There was one passenger, on this bus, who had to return to hell to give a speech that night, on Jesus!! He speech was over this topic..."If only Jesus had survived the crucifixion, he would have matured and then become a social leftist activist"!!
---another passenger wanted to convince the angels and spirits that met this bus, that hell is the one true reality, it is heaven that is disillusioned! "joy and peace and love" are not real, only PAIN and SUFFERING is! This soul was in pain and suffering and had no love, peace, joy. Thus he lived in a city of pain. Since he had only pain, in his heart, that is the only reality that he knew, so that he wanted to turn everyone else to share his reality: they *must* share his reality, or else!....else he, himself, is put down and denied to exist! If all the heavens and the earth become his pain, then he then becomes justified in his sufferings......

I see that some people, who are in pain, need to convert everyone around them TO their pain! Thus
"values"...."Rightness"....Ethics" devalue this pain, thus devaluing the pain-person!
"Since Pain *IS* reality", some people say....any other system of values that denies this pain, must GO away! They would want you to feel feel feel this pain of theirs, it is real and it is the only reality there is and outa my way!!!
direct affront, thus, any "help" or "value system" then....To this "Narsisstic" person!
they would thus convert all the people around them, to make the pain real for the whole Universe:
make all of existence just one pain party!!

I guess one can live in hell while still here on earth!!

Wednesday, October 15, 2003

Yet another image burned into my brain!!

Yesterday, as I was on a bus, I happened to be looking out of the window at a Tallahassee street corner
and I saw two middle-aged "lawyer types" of men, having a conversation on the corner.
"*that* was the image!! They were standing there as if they were out in a quiet field, or on a quiet corner.


I know this corner. Because there is a totally blind person who crosses this corner a lot, with his seeing eye dog, the city put up an audible soundsignal, whenever the light turns green and it is safe for him to cross. I have been "caught" by this sound often, as I, myself, cross this corner and as I wait for the light to change to cross, this Piercing piercing sound comes up very suddenly and it is like of a "ice pick in my ears", and I stagger back a bit and quickly put my hands over my ears, this sound is really too too too too much for me!!
So here, as this bus begins to cross the street, these two men just stand there, about TWO FEET
from that noise-maker, and they do not even seem to notice it, either by awareness or even in their
*This* reminds me yet AGAIN, sports fans, that *MOST* people are not bothered by such sounds! In fact they often create noise, so that they feel alive as this extra sound makes them more aware, just like a bored inmate of a insane asylum ward might bite at his lips until they bleed: the pain keeps him aware and alive, in consciousness, as his soundindings are utterly boring!
probably some stress diseases are caused, not by the "stress', but by the fact that the "body knows
and registers", but the awareness "upstairs" is not there...Denied...Cut off!

Try putting a dog or cat by that corner for the first time and see what it does when that sound screeches off!!

I am just amazed at what is "too much' for me, but that no one else even notices!!

Tuesday, October 14, 2003


to read.......
this here link is to a very VERY "thick" book!!

"The Astral City - André Luiz / Francisco C. Xavier"

what is it like to live in a lower Astral world? what is a place in the lower heavens like?
book follows one man's life, after he dies, and of his recovery there. This place is very "earthlike".

“Nosso Lar” (or “The Astral City” in the present English version) appeared on Earth in 1943 through the mediumship of Francisco Xavier and edited by the Brazilian Spiritist Federation (FEB) . The book tells us the odyssey of a recently departed physician who introduces himself under the pen name “André Luiz” (see forewords by Emmanuel and J Haddad) . The author discloses a spiritual society, a colony of work located in the vicinity of the Earth surface, where one finds the happy of sad results of one acts after reaching “the other side” of life. Far from abstractions or purely philosophical argumentation, André Luiz speaks about the actual reality of imperfect spirits still alive, working and preparing themselves for the next life’s struggles.

----not a book for quick and easy reading!!!

Monday, October 13, 2003


----from Grist magazine.....

"Fairway to Heaven"

A gardening guru gives new meaning to a golfing green
by Lisa Jones
Evil green monster (a traditional golf course).

[Interesting article in its own right:Defending golf courses if they are "organic" like this one!
Yet another example of what i write about, in my article, below!]

Well well well...
Yesterday, I became Fixatated upon some Anger, that "was in the Air", or of something that I read.
something about "Abortion".

As I walked to the Strozier library, here at FSU, I had a small inspiration as to what this Process is!

Behold that picture of the Golf Course. Even the Title of the article is In Accord, in that this Golfer
is walking his way across the greens to heaven. His life, thusly, is this Link, this Long long View
off into the distance; when he arrives at the end, then heaven awaits.
There is lots of grass on this course, you might be able to see about 3,960,006 blades of grass, in the photo. Each blade of grass is

"something to get ANGRY about"!

Yesterday, I got fixatated upon grass blade # 296,032!
If I could "solve" this blade, why there is grassblade # 301,447, somewhat further down the green, to attend to!
then the next one. And another. Yet another: it never never ever ENDS!

What I find to be "Freaky" about all of this, sports fans, is that each "blade of grass" is an intersection for several 'sides' of an issue where *ALL* sides are True and Correct, in their stances!!!
There ARE very very valid reason why some women need their abortion! There are valid reasons why Israel should just leave the middle east: every Jewish person move to somewheres else!
*just* as valid a reason why the State of Israel should be there!

"milk is good".
but if you have lactose intolerance, milk is "evil"!

I have seen, over the years, web sites of 50 pages where every other sentence is in CAPS. That person has got down on their knees, somewheres on the "golf Green" and not only fixatated upon grass blade "# 7,922" but has ripped it up from the ground and now shakes his fist at the sky, and to all the other Players, and to all the other grass blades, trying to "convert" everything to his One True Grass Blade! Naturally all the other 3,961,885 blades are "opposed" to this blade that he holds in his hands, as it *is* separate from them all, by default.

oh smuck!
the very air, in this city of 300,000 people, is saturated with the thoughtforms of people who are Angry, angry as they fixate upon *their* little blade of green! Poor me! A "psychic sensitive", a teabag just SATURATED with the water of the collective Angst, that this tea bag sits in!

No matter what you say, or write, someone out there will hate it! No matter how "objective' you are, surely there will be something in the morning's paper that will "set off your buttons"!!

Myself, I try to see that we each are in Art Class 101, learning How To Draw, upon our 6 X 6 square of "life-paper"! Each of us WILL make mistakes, that a religious person might call a "Sin".
learn by doing. we learn by Doing. The only way. Sometimes by seeing the mistakes of others, we can learn. But we *will* makes mistakes!
Thus, there may well not be a "black or white" right or wrong, with each grass blade upon that Course: only

this morning's paper about SOYBEAN snacks. There was a trace of anger, written between the lines. She was writing about how soy is so GOOD for ya, how it is of a "stance" against the "fat society", if you eat these snacks, high in soy goodness.
that is the LIGHT side of Soy!
the DARK side? Better not tell this to that lady who gave birth to a "overly feminized" male baby, as all that soy that she ate, during her pregnecy: all those "estrogen-precursors", in the soy, went through the placental-barrier, and stimulated the femine hormones in that boy-fetus!!
[some doctors, in some countries, BAN soy foods, for expecting mothers!!]

SECRET: each and every "blade of grass" on that "golf course" has a light and a dark side!!
each and every one of them! Usually this dark side is *VERY* dark! Like of this example!
but it is up to each one of us to Choose, "light or dark", for each blade of grass that we touch. Each side is true and correct: CHOOSE, oh Soul!
[not choosing...Is itself a Choice"]
[choosing BOTH, or choosing NEITHER, are valid choices!]
If one chooses "neither" or "both", one needs to have a philosophical "way of life and Seeings"
that Transcends, is "larger than", the reality that is presented by what is of this Particular "blade of grass"!
thus, in my example, soy food is wonderful if one is a woman who likes natural foods and is somewhat "environmental aware". But if she is pregnet, or if the eater is a MAN?! Oh boy!!
But one must have a Lrger Vision, of life, before one can sense this, with Soy!

is Mr Swarz good for the state of California? Or bad for this state?
Lots of anger *There*, in *that* blade of grass!!

*MY* way of Transcending all of this, I guess, is to see that VAST field that is of this 18 hole golf course, and see way way off to that horizon of "life's end", and to Know that each blade of grass is a Soul lesson that one can learn, if one "picks" this blade and holds it up to one's eyes, and "believes" in it! A needed lesson for that person at that time.

...Part of one's drawing, in Art Class 101, in that High School "class of the earthly Incarnation", this all is!
Perfecting this "artistic statement", to "turn in" at Classes end! Each WILL be different, from each person's statement!

The Heavenly Choir singing would *not* be so nice, if everyone in this choir would be singing the very same note! Thus each drawing should be of a different "note" in this Sing, in the afterlife.

Choose on side, of the Grass Blade, or the other.
Or Both,
or Neither!


Sunday, October 12, 2003


---that GEAE magizine, lower down in my previous postings, has, to me, a very very Disturbing question!

here is a messege that there is such a thing as "soul murder" where the soul, not the body, is hurt terribly!! The very WORST damage would be to prevent the soul from incarnating...called "abortion"!

and the abortion doctor would be a "worst case" of a murderer!!

[i betcha the aura around an abortion clinic is utterly awfull!!]

women thinking only of themselves, i guess....putting nothing ahead of their own wishes.
NOT children, anyway...

Once was a time when a person Came last! Family...society...came first: that is called "civilization"!

so Do I join the ranks of the people who would "execute" the murderer....the abortion doctor?!

Saturday, October 11, 2003

Well I talked to the lady, in Georgia Belle, some more!

She sits there at 7 AM, every morning, waiting for her ride, to take her to the nursing home to see her husband. She spends 12 hours a day there.

She tells me that they have been married, now, for over 50 years. *most* of her relatives, her age, have been married for 50 to 60 years!
She also knows that her own younger relatives: the ones under 40, she knows of one lady who has about 40 friends about 40 years old....ALL of them have been divorced at least ONCE!

She grew up on a Kentucky farm and was a farm wife for years. In her days NO mother ever ever worked outside of her home, and often even when the kids went off to college, or left, she would remain home.
People, there and then, Accepted fate, she says, if it rained on the crops, it was God's will, and one accepted.
Stress was nil.

Her own mother lived to be 90+ and she was never never sick one day, and one day she fell over dead, in her 90s.

De-votion, to her husband. Love.

Perhaps we all should listen to what the Al-Queda/Taliban have to say, about how one should live one's life!
We can learn from our enemies: often they are our shadows!!
there *might* be something there, in their way of life, the Taliban, that is Missing from ours!!

a "synthesis", anyone??!!
--the best of both worldwiews, anyone?!!

Thursday, October 09, 2003


The Spiritist Messenger 043
Author Index
Full Collection

"The Spiritist Messenger" is a monthly newsletter that exists as a living laboratory where GEAE's members participate in publishing essays, texts, articles, commentaries and inquiries about Spiritism and its consequences in our everyday life. It also brings news, general information and assists various Spiritist organizations from around the globe in promoting their activities, seminaries and workshops.

In order to receive the newsletter (which is delivered as an e-mail attachment), click on the Subscribe/Unsubscribe link and fill the e-mail form with the word subscribe on the subject

this month's issue, number 43, has an interesting article...

Dolphins, Parrots and Muriquis: Three Different Paths for the SoulÂ’s Evolution

Three species living in different environments are shown as following safe paths towards
the hominal realm and beyond

Renato Costa

My special thanks to Ann Leslie Goldman for proof-reading the English version

(originally published by Casa Editora O Clarim in the August issue of Revista Internacional de Espiritismo)

In our previous article published by this magazine [1] we promised to show examples of evolution paths chosen by three animal species, one living on the land, another one in the sea and a third one moving through the air.
ThatÂ’s what we will be doing from this point onwards.


The order Cetacean contains mammals that migrated back to water about 60 million years ago, including several species that are considered by researchers as having developed high intelligence.

MY favorite "spiritual" magazine, here....
why just this morning, in my mailbox, was a survey company wanting me to do a survey about a "spiritual magazine" and they wanted input from readers about the format. They had four choices as to "slants"...But i found all of these slants to be "HUMANISTIC"! "feel good" stuff, and "what do other Great Thinkers" think about spirituality"?!

*this* GEAE Journal, has stuff to sink one's spiritual teeth into, i feel!!
[they have a back collection of all their previous issues!]

Wednesday, October 08, 2003

As I left the Georgia belle senior towers apartments, this 7 A M, there was
The Lady. At 7 am, she is sitting on the chair by the door awaiting her ride. She seems to be there every morning.
*This* morning, about two hours ago, I asked her about some of her life. Her husband is in a nursing home in another part of the city. Both of them are probably in their late 70s. Yes he lives in another place where the care is more "assisted. She goes every day, to see and to be with him:"yesterday"...she says..."I was there until after 6 P M"!!
----nearly 12 hours!
she probably stays there from 5 to 12 hours each and every day.

Probably married since she was 20. That would be about 50 years.

Touching, this.....
One does not see this so often in *this* generation, sports fans! Such devotion, such closeness, and caring. I have several aunts, from my Interlaken hometown, who celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary!
*Everyone* that I know, under 40, have been divorced and remarried/single, at least *ONCE*!! Half the people I know, have been remarried about 3 times!

yes, that was the generation.....Rochester, NY: I 1970-ly met a man walking near the railroad tracks, he was out for his retiree stroll, he lives two blocks from where he used to work, work in the building that we were near. He worked there, in the same room, at the same job...


and he lived the two blocks away! Still does!

Monday, October 06, 2003

Interesting dream last night! I went to a party! A party of people, who seemed to be of the "artistic elite"...Some of the wondrously creative people that are artists and writers and intellectuals, in cities like of new York, or San Fran.
I came at the time that they all were getting ready for their "entertainment".
Their host had pre-arranged, before they all came, a whole floor of a near by house, for a "game". The whole floor was filled with items and books and clues, much like of a computer adventure game! There were maps, with "post-its" stuck onto the paper, I could see one such yellow sticker with the number "11-9" stuck over new York City!!
["9-11", backward!]
people then ran all around the four or six rooms, peering into each and every object there. No one could tell if any certain object was important or not: everything had to be scrutinized!
A nail on the wall?....
trash in the trashcans?
A spot of color on the table: why what did the spill mean?!....And was that spill
from coffee?....And why did someone drink coffee *then*?!

Finally, someone figured out what the "owner" of this house had for a a "life-philosophy", and this person won the game!

Saturday, October 04, 2003

I rant "philosophical" today!

Here is what i think "sin" and "evil" is!!
I can say it in just one or two sentences, with a few other sentences as explaination: the topic that some people have written whole books over!!

SIN and Evil is just where a "5th grader, in the 5th grade classroom, is not doing the 5th grade level classwork, at the 5th grade level: instead, he is doing 4th, or 3rd, or even 1st grade level stuff"!

again: he is trying to work at 5th grade, using the prior grade's material, instead of using 5th grade level material. He is applying older lessons that are now inappropriate
for the level that he is now on!

If I assume that there are levels of spiritual subtleness, like of, say, 10 levels, where level one is..."The animal survival level, the "Monkey" level, and level two might be
about where the soul is "self-centered-only", then if I can call our present day society, in America..."Level five"; then anyone who tries to live in level five, with a level one or level two mentality, why he is applying more primitive material to a situation that requires a higher level application!!

--as the master s might say..."It goes to his lower chackras, instead of functioning
at the upper chackra level"!

Since "sex, Survival, power-over-others" are of a more "primitive" level, if these are used, in a place where a higher level ethics are required, then that user is "retrograde", thus "sins"!

There are yet more levels of "classrooms" above us, in vibration, yet to be experienced by us, as we all are not yet "advanced' enough yet to perceive them. Thus these more advanced levels of "soul-advancements" are like the color "ultraviolet", to us: invisible! Thus we all would "vibrate" at a lower frequency, instead, thus short circuiting the energy and bringing it down to a lower level.

all this "abstraction" might have a meaning if examples are given....
1...Trying to bring "democracy' to a country that does not have the individual and personal "ethical advancement" to be able to use it: all the donated food goes to the
overlords, the guards, the truckers:peasants get not a bit of it, ala the "etheopian hunger concert, of years ago: all the donations went DIRECTLY TO GUNS to fight the Eritian soldiers, or to help the outlaw Lords!!!
2...A teacher setting a cake, presliced into 30 slices, on the table, in her 3rd grade class: she leaves the room, after telling all the kids to "each come up and take one slice" the hidden vid camera will show that 8 kids will try to take ALL the slices, and 8 kids will not get even one, and some of the kids will have their slice ripped violently from their hands, by some "bully" that already has 4 slices crammed into his pocket and one more slice jammed into his mouth as a single-bite!!

Friday, October 03, 2003

Last night at the Towers, where I live.
I have lived here for about a month now. Most of the residents are in their 70s and 80s, at 62, i must be one of the youngest there! There are several people who are over 95!
About once per week, in the middle of the night, there is an ambulance run, to the front driveway! Last night there were TWO appearences, one complete with a fire truck, meaning that the person that it came for was in Dire Staights! [firehouse is three blocks away!]
When I walked down through the lobby, at about 7 AM, there were the usual three or four "little od ladies" who are always there, getting ready to take a walk or to go to somewheres.
No one mentioned the two events. I Did Not Ask!

*That* seems to be a Firm unwritten rule: do NOT ask about "who and whom and how", of these ambulance runs in the middle of the night!

There are about 150 to 160 residents here, i figure that about 70% of these people are 70 to 80 year old widows who are in poor health. That means about 140 people are *very* near the ends of their own personal Conveyor belt: the package slowly goes to the end of the belt, pushed by Time's hands, to Drop into the A-waiting
do not talk about it.
do not think publicly about it.
do not ask.

---be like imagining, in your best friend or relative, as you talk with them, all of their inner organs, that they are a pile of flesh and meat!!

Yes, many of these "runs" are probably just to the hospital for a overnight exam and a Release the next day or three....but while there, Mr Death Consults: with his Palm, he looks at the Program
containing the "list" of "who and whom" is on tap for Ascentioning, today! For *most* of these residents, their name is not on *today's* list, thank you....but
they surely, now, cannot Forget that the End of their conveyor belt, is now Seen!!

for *you*, your end-of-the-belt, is far far off!
but sometimes cars, airplanes and viruses, can be like of a "can opener" to open the "can of beets early", long before this cans rusts "of old old age"!!

Thursday, October 02, 2003


Yes, Dreams, I find, are *most* amazing! Like of last night. There I was, standing out in a field and then some people on horses came up to me. I more or less was invited to join them; they had an extra horse that I could ride. Seemingly, I "knew" how to ride horses, as I was now on it and riding well!
They told me that this group of people were part of a "club", a horse riding club. Apparently they wanted me to join it.
We all took off riding, running the horses across the fields. They told me that this was a "jumping club", and they liked places where there were a lot a jumps.
Oh yes!!
I soon found out what these jumps were!!
....Across 300 to 1000 feet valleys! Yes, the horses nearly flew, the jumps were across deep valleys that were maybe over 100 foot deep, oh it was "intoxicating" to jump the horse off of the edge of this ravine, a-running at maybe 20 MPH, and like of a "Pegasus" we all flew across the open space!
Yes, what a jump: maybe all of 800 feet to the other side. Then run run run....Till the next valley, another 500 foot jump!!
[This world was not of this world, sports fans! I could tell that this Place was a Spirit place, probably at a spirit-level of vibration where the vibes are such that one can "almost" fly, but needs a bit of 'help" !!
This dreams, "seems" like a dream, but now, today after I awoke, I know that I belong to this club and that after I die, I can go jump with them, forever...Plus the fact that I have joined with a community of souls, perhaps hundreds, thousands, of souls, in the afterlife; made Bonds with them, Connected with them, so that
I can meet and be with them, years and years from now. If I did *NOT* have this dream, before I died, I might not have been able to find or to see even one member of this spirit club!
Thus, sports fans, you should never, never, "belittle" or take for granted, your dreams! Like for this little dream that I had, it was actually a small "initiation" into a club, thus Touching many many souls!
[Old Jewish phrase...If I touch you, you thus are touching me"! ]
Once connected, in spirit, the connection is really Forever, and spirit distance does not separate!

This holds, I believe, for *this* earthly lifetime too! For the streets of life are lined with Recruiting offices, in the store-fronts, and when ya sign up, you can indeed walk out at anytime, but you can Never, Ever, Leave!!

Be careful What You Sign Up For!!

----for each and every group of people that you touch, in your lifetime, you are Touched, in return and the Bond will be Eternal, not only TO the people that you "touch", but if there is an Organization that goes with them, you are also Bonded to that organization and to all the other souls that also belong, even if they live 1200 miles away or are "dead' to the earth, now living in the Spirit worlds!!
EXAMPLE: I, when living in Gainesville, Florida; I got to know, just a bit, some of the people of the
SOCIETY FOR CREATIVE ANACHRONISMS. They practiced once a week in the nearby park. About a year later, I had a dream about this group! In the dream I stood on a grassy field and way way off, and up in the air, I saw a hilltop, with its base shrouded in mist [means: this hill is in the Spirit worlds!]
I could see people on top of this hill, and there must have been someone, from this group, besides me, as he explained who they all were. They are people who were from the Anachronism Society, who, when they joined, on earth, they really joined with a far FAR larger Spirit group, a group that is Ancient. This Spiritgroup often, throughout history, has created a earthly "recruiting" society, that really has as its main purpose, to enlist earthpeople into this group! After they die, they Belong!!
Thus....This man explained to me...That the Spirit counterpart, to the S F C A , has *nothing* to do with "medieval anachronism", or with anything of that age, at all....no armor...clothes..swords...etc!
This man then explained to me that the True Function of the spirit group, is to have everyone in a very very close "social interaction", where all the people there are very "close" with each other, and very caring for each other. [ I suspect that about every 100 years, this Spiritgroup "incarnates" a new earthly club, perhaps having very little in common with the club 100 years before!]

does not matter if this group is a "tupperware party", or The American Longhair Cat Fanciers", or
"Divine Light", or your local "club" where you go several times a month to hear music, dance, and make out!!
....and if you join an "actual Initiational club", like the Masons, or of the Set Temple
you are joining a far far Larger Body of Souls, many of which are in Spirit and they will be Guides for you, while you are alive...read: "influence your thinkings and your life-directions"!


Wednesday, October 01, 2003


the rainforest in springtime, in some place just outside of the tallahassee where I live.
60+ inches of rain a year.

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