......also some Journalings about my psychic experiences.
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my life after Near Death Experiences: 05/01/2003 - 05/31/2003
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Saturday, May 31, 2003

---someone asked, in a letter, if a person seen in a dream, that is a deceased person...is that person just a figment of the imagination or is it a real visit by a heaven-living soul?!
I replied.....

Interesting! I have had many many obe-astral travel dreams over the years. Of late, I often begin a dream in a room, talking to someone that I have never seen before. Sometimes this person is a deceased relative.
my sister. she, about a year after her death, she showed to me a book, a book that she was using in her Spirit class at the "University" in heaven a university that I have been to, in my obe-ings, before this dream. she told me that she has spent over 10,000 hours on this class, and the book was about how to recognize the inner karma, of a counseled soul, by the outer appearance of his/her face!
[one wears one's karma, I guess!]
she was a social work professional MSW and professor, while on earth: wrote textbooks and counseled.]

what I found Interesting, in this dream, is this....and I use this example as to what I have found to be the case with nearly all of my dreams where I talk to spirits.
I dreamed that my sister was at a table in an aunt's house, a house this is from my childhood, here on earth, in upstate new York[Interlaken, NY].
So here I was, in a image-house that I supplied, talking to a Soul who came "down" from heaven, to talk to me. I do not know if she also created the image of the same house or that she was in a "room" in heaven that was utterly different from "my" room. I suspect that I created the room from my subconscious, a room that she could ALSO see and then come to.
thus this room is a 'halfway house" for her and I to meet.
I find that this occurs with all my "meeting with a spirit' dreams. sometimes they bring their own scenery with them: I see places that are not from my own subc.
so in a sense the room, or scenery *is* a figment of the imagination, but it is of a kind of "prop" on a stage, for a real actor to appear onto!


Friday, May 30, 2003

I made a forum moderator unhappy, as I posted something that was not of their bylaws...my URL for my weblog.
I wrote back and told the person that I have Autistic problems and this hinders me in communications...

this reply, to that letter, is her letter..."please don't leave"!
I wrote back, explaining some of my slants on "Autism" to her....
the letter, I reproduce, in part.......

--- XXX wrote:
> No, I don't think you should leave -
> . We
> have had members here, in the forum, who share the same
> "disadvantage" [ AUTISM ] and some have this

too...I only type 5 words per minute and I cannot afford the chance to try DICTATION SOFTWARE, as my disability pension is so so small. thus I have a zillion thoughts, mostly in images, and each of these images *are* linked together, in an associational link-pattern, such that my "story" is such that I would have to give *all* of the inter-relating links pictures, in order to tell the story! be like you asked me to see my sweater and I yank off one thread and give it to you: you gotta have ALL the threads, or none, of the threads! thus my 5wpm typing speed kills my story images such that I only end up telling just part of a story thus what a person reads is just a part, thus the topic looks stilted and often smells of "bias and bigotry"! my father could
often talk non-stop for four hours and he talks every word, the listeners say not a word! He was a Storyteller and he often held court in the 600 people small town cafe or pub! he would tell Indian stories and geology stories there. tens years after his death, me, in this small town pub, heard a man who was so impressed with Dudley's stories. On this occasion
Dudley did indeed talk four hours non-stop and when he had to get up to go, why one man turned to stare at the wall, speaking out loud and speaking for ALL the ten men present..."its too too bad he had to leave: I wanted more"!!

so WHO, these days has the time to listen or to speak?!

Dudley was my father, also a bit "autistic".
I could tell stories for hours and talk about my visits to heaven where it would indeed take four hours to tell just one dream, a dream that I may have written up in 400 words, killing most of the feeling-tone, of the reality that I had been too.
[i tell NO ONE, my dreams as no one is interested, in the city around me: but i do not dispair as i "am a 10th grader in 1st grade"...in this physical earth school and *most* people are in the 1st...2nd...or so, grades and they NEED to be physical! I was once such a first grader, many many lives ago, when i was surely the village rapist or the Killer or the stealer of other men's wives...or some other wretched incarnation: just as all the young souls will some day all become 10th...11th...12th, even College grads, some incarnational days!! so 90% of the earth's peoples *ought* to be "bank tellers...livery drivers...where "length, breadth, height" count 100%, for reality-basis!!]

my own slant on autism is that there are two soul-types
that come into bodies, with that condition.

1...the very *very* young soul, "just off of the boat", maybe a first time incarnation OR perhaps a second or fifth incarnation, where the Primal Innocence was SHATTERED by some very 'bad death" or some traumatic
event, where there was little "old soul" experience
to deal with it so that the person basically comes into *this* incarnation in a state of shock!!!
[perhaps the "IQ 40" version of autism, where about 60% of autistic people also have low IQ]

2...the other type of autism is the "high level functioning", or the case of, where the person is very "verbal" or high IQ...."ASPERGERS".
This is where the soul is SO old that the brain shorts out!! be like having ten programs open at once on a 4 GIG hard drive and thus windows goes into a "illegal action code--shut down" error message as two programs try to dance the dance on a dance floor about
two feet square!
too...the old soul's incarnation uses talents that are "spirit...ual", thus the poor processing brain must , at the same time as using five-sense-inputs, must also use the Psychic-etheric inputs from the Spirit worlds!!
Thus there tends to be problems with "brain processing"!
---this type of autism is the territory of geniuses and
gifted people.

I, myself, like temple grandin, think mostly in images and I have to really be careful eating with people as it is "food OR talk" not both at once as just how CAN I eat while "in" the world that I an seeing, in a mind-picture?!

often there is a bit of "anger" that seeps into my postings and writings as the anger is real but it is not anger towards anyone, it is the anger that comes from being frustrated with trying to get out my thoughts!
just TRY sometime, to sew with a needle and thread, your clothes, wearing thick boxing gloves on your hands! you would get very frustrated, perhaps, and maybe angry!

I have actually read, from a spirit guide, who told the Class, via the medium, that many old souls are angry but that this anger is removed, in heaven, after they die, as the anger is the anger of having to try to function in the physical world, which is very very hard for an old soul to do! this Guide used the analogy of a person deep sea diving, wearing a 400 pound diving suit! he walks around on the sea bottom and one can imagine how difficult it is for him to DO anything! so I get frustrated in my trying to talk, or even to think, and my frustration-anger thus appears in my communications with others! just imagine a STUTTERER trying to talk fast!! I am a "stutterer" of my soul, in my soul, in as far as I relate to the material world!


Thursday, May 29, 2003

*this* is what AUTISM does with me!!

in the http://www.channeling.net
mastersite, there is a forum. a perhaps-wonderful forum! but the administrator has wrote to me a severe letter, TWICE now, in three months as I have used my weblogs URLs to direct people to my site.....goes against their Policy.

but can I remember not to post my url?
I will do it over and over and over, just like I will tell someone the same story over and over and over.....always new and fresh, always!
I had to write this administrator to tell her that I would be safer not ever to post again and to just leave the list and remove the urls from my files!!

I should be happy to be able to more or less live independently and not to live in a "Home"! While I have wonderfully amazing dreams, no one really, in my circle of friends, wants to hear them, and well they should NOT as they all are Learning how to live, in this school of the physical world.
---but I lament that here is a good forum that I will never go to again.

Wednesday, May 28, 2003

"Sam": when is a dream not a dream?!

I had a dream last night, my old friend "Sam" came to see me, came into the room to talk.

[He was my old childhood friend, from 8th grade through high school. the high school graduating class had all of 28 kids in it, thus a very very "personal" class! he lived right next door. I often saw him, over the years, until about 1999, when he died.
...sometimes I dream of him, in similar ways to this dream I just had]

I can only recall, dimly, what we talked about, but the talk was *not* about "chit-chat" and small talk! It had the feel of "life and death and transcendence" to it, plus a good dose of "Philosophy and metaphysics" too.
[i wish i could remember what we talked about!!!]

Then he told me that he had to leave, we walked outside of the building that this conversation took place in. we continued to talk a bit, then he walked away. I watched him walk up a path, a path across a field, up a steep hill: the path came to a fence with a gate in it, just at the top of the hill where the field became level again. the fence ran from "left to right" about 200 feet above my head and my last memory of Sam was his going through this gate: then I woke up.

this memory of Sam going through the gate will be burned on my brain for the rest of my life, perhaps!
*this* little-seeming event, tells me that this was NOT a dream! Sam was going through a gate, the same "image-gate" that many NDE, near-death-Experiences, see....when they come up to a gate, the "gate to heaven" that they cannot go through or else they cannot come back to their body! the Land before the gate is the "halfway point", the twilight area, between the living and the dead.
I can easily go out of body up to this point, and Sam can come down from heaven, easily, to this point: the field below the gate, with the house.
the "room"! the "visitors room".

---so this gate, in my dream, indicates that this visit was an OBJECTIVE visit, by my friend! he really really did visit me.
I wonder...
I wonder just how many dreams, that people have, of their "deceased' relatives and friends, are like of this dream: where they come from somewheres to see and to talk, but the dreamer may think that this is only a dream!
I have had many many of these visits, by Spirits, over the years....my father...sister....others.
YOU might have had some too, but not knowing it!

Saturday, May 24, 2003

---the Blair incident and the Matrix Reloaded!

A few hours ago, I saw the Newsweek article about Blair's reporting mess, with the new York Times.
It becomes clear to me now, perhaps there is a "coincidence" between the release of the movie Matrix reloaded and Blair's
expose! It is finally ck
clear to me that *any* and all news articles, books, tv-news...etc, *IS* unto the Matrix!
...for nothing is real and true. but! I do NOT mean this "untrue" to be like what the Liberal political call the media to be.

for all articles can only show a bit of anything. it is like taking a snapshot with your camera of the shortstop baseball player at 2:45, halfway into the game. you see a baseball player frozen in time. you do not see the rest of the field...the other players...the fans..the stadium, the weather conditions...at all! too, you see a frozen second, in about 7693 seconds of gameplay.

"spin" is what I call it! anything written in any paper is the spin of the writer and the spin of the editorial staff. you see "a baseball player frozen in one second of time"!

in the 90s, a Florida paper had an article..."lady abducted from her office parking lot"!
in the donut shop I heard the little old ladies, both of them, wring their hands about how awful the world has become! I told them...
"WAIT"! "wait till the last article comes out...then you can know a bit more"!
next day...the article was about how her husband says the ten year marriage was so so wonderful and he misses her.
next week...no leads, she told the other workers that a strange man sat in his car outside her window, for days...
one month later, the final article comes out...she is alive and well and she called the police from a hotel in LOS VEGAS!
she says to the police and the paper..."*finally*, I am RID of him, the bastard: the divorce papers are signed, I had to run away as that was the only safe way to get away so that I could get the divorce"!

take your donut shop. there are 30 kinds of donuts for sale and just why why *DO* you choose the vanilla raised over the raspberry filled?! you DO know that every raspberry donut rejected is another blow to the people who sell food color and raspberry farmers!! you are BIASED, there is not a reason in the world what you like vanilla! what you Must Do Now, is to buy one of all 30 kinds and put them all into a blender so that grey mush results as you now have a bit of all 30 in your drink: NO donuts are offended by your
unreal choice of vanilla!
or IS your choice real?
spin. you make it real. so does Blair, in his articles!! and you belive him, of course.
---and the "true" background that Blair covered over, or ignored? ??????
each and every description, by all of the "Sniper witnesses and players"...is a kind of "Vanilla donut"! you read maybe 30 perceptions of the Sniper, will the real Sniper please stand up? NO!

It is all an ad!
each reality promotes itself.
even a flower is an AD! "look at ME..pollinate ME, each flower advertises. each birdsong is an ad. "mate with me"...."no!..mate with ME".....
life is Promo...promotion of different realities, for a share of the Reality marketplace.
thus..everything you see, read, or hear...is a Fabricated reality.
all of life is spin. welcome to the Matrix!


Last night I went to yet another Spirit world, in my dreams! Seems, now, I go Places nearly every night!

Last night, the Guide who took me, told me this is a "HELL WORLD"!
When I got there, the world surely did *look* like a "hell world"!! the sky was blue and the air was clear; looked like a clear summer day under bright sunlight and deep green vegetation. The guide spoke of the ruling Demons there.

So here is a place that is under the vibration of the earth plane and it is still a better place than 60% of the earth?! how strange and interesting: I have often been to worlds like this, where the guides or greeters or the inhabitants tell me that this lovely place is a "hell world"!

I do not feel that the religious people have it quite right, when they describe what *their* view is, of a hell world...put simply!

a "hell world" to me, is a lower-than-the-earth, in vibrational level place, where "physicality" is more important than "intellectuality" or
"higher vibrations"!

the guides and teachers, here, last night, seemed to Teach me the great importance of finding the hidden meanings between OBJECTS. all objects! Find the links, of hidden connections, relate one object to another.

words fail utterly...utterly!! all this dream-post ends up to be is a 300 word literalness of what needs to be a six hour typing effort with 6000 words!

so I have to leave this topic: maybe when I am in heaven, there will be the "time" for my 5-hour talks, and you do not say a dingle word except to ask Questions, where it takes that long in order to convey the simplest simplest ideas, or of the simplest experience!

Friday, May 23, 2003

A very very Interesting dream last night!!

Another visit to the spirit realms. In my dream, I began to realize that I was in the company of some guide, a guide who sounded like he was giving a lecture to many people. With his lecture, there was a "movie", but the movie was a first person "I am there"!
It was as if he were giving to just me a personal talk and tour, although his voice sounded like his talk was to multitudes of students, in a class: might have been....each student could see the "movie' as if he were the only subject!
the topic?
-----the History of the Black race!

*here* is where I lack words to describe, as this guide described scenes from the history of the race. I will have to just put out snippets
and not in any order, as to just a few concepts that were presented, presented with accompanying "video".
----picture of a south New jersey, USA, black community [he says, "new jersey"!] we walk around the poor neighborhood.
he says..."the ???? fern and the calla lily have accompanied the black race all over the world, to where-ever they migrated and moved to.
....picture of a black man carving a sculpture of a orange-clay man-sized figure. guide speaks of the "love of the black race for Representations, more valuable than Gold, to them".
...History does not show just how many black people lived in Europe during the dark ages and the middle-ages, the numbers are much *much* greater than white-history shows!

[*most* of what he is showing to me, are things that I cannot even begin to write about, as I remember so little. Too...the subject matter is "noetic"; that is...subtle subtle feeling tones of the Role of the black mother and the Family and the Soul-connections
of time and place and the "stuff' that makes up a "black person", "soul-stuff' that cannot be seen, measured, tested for, evaluated, by "scientific, psychological, means! How can I describe a feeling tone of a small Georgia back-owned farmhouse, off in a distant field?
I would eat up *ALL* my 100k limit, or need four hours to talk and you say not ONE word while I rap non-stop for four hours!]

As I awoke, I could still hear the Guide talking, in my head! At this point, he was describing the Real Homeland of the black race!
this is the Home where all the race began, where they developed. it is *not* Africa!! it is southern INDIA!
he was saying that the southern Indians, before the Caucasian invaders came, was Dravidian and pre-Drividian....[Negrito]
These peoples were the first blacks and their race-culture came from this. later they immigrated some of themselves westward to Africa.
[no wonder I see blacks who look *exactly* like sathya sai baba!! baba is of the dravidian race.]

Tuesday, May 20, 2003

Want to read some of the comments people placed onto my sites, all in one place?!

I have gotten some *very* interesting flames, over the months; some nice praises too! I made a yahoosite containing some of them. Some were very very
intelligently done.
But i suppose that my flames were deserved! After all, the "afterlife", Visions of that afterlife, and that of "death" itself, is the very very last cultural "NO-NO"!!

Monday, May 19, 2003

An amazing small dream the other night that changes my "race outlook"!

the dream.
In the astral worlds again. somewhere. there were a group of people who had a community farmhouse: one could think of a "hippie commune" and have a good idea as to what everything looked like.
Seemed that there was a small problem that needed to be solved and it involved going to another Community nearby.
I was with this group of hippie-like people and I went with several of the men to....
To another farmhouse, and I noted that the inside of it was very VERY messy! People EAT in this heavenworld, and thus there was a kitchen in this other farmhouse, and the moldy dirty dishes were stacked to the ceiling along the counter!

"yes they are ORCS, of course"[!], one of my group said.

I then spoke with several of these "orcs" . *that* was the name that they named themselves. They said that they were Orcs from the orc country, the country that is right next door to the "whites", and that "we moved to the edge of the whites for ?????? reason, but we are lonely for our own kind"! One of my "white" friends, who came with me, spoke about the Orcs who lived in the nearby
countryside, in a land of their own.

I took a closer look. I could see somewhat "brute-like" men with pointed ears and of a slightly more "primitive" look than of the "Human" race! I took a look on the wall, there were Runes made of sticks stuck onto the wall. I realized, in the dream, that these runes Connected the orcs to their own spiritual Ancestors and to their traditions, their traditions form when they lived One level up, in the astral heavens.
As the dream ended, right then and there, I was beginning to try to broker a peace between the two races! probably my higher self was to do this: I was getting ready to suggest both groups that each of the races have strengths that the other lacks.
*like*: men have iron tools and the orcs have great personal strength...lets Trade! Too...I was about to show the orcs that I was once Initiated into their Runic Order, as well as in the Human Spiritual paths!

suddenly an Image of someone I knew, here on earth, came to view, *just* as my dream ended! I know him on the bus, I see him nearly every day. I Know, now, from this, that he Incarnated out of the Orcs! he *IS* an Orc!

---so *that* explains his being very emotional and somewhat "psychologically disturbed"! he is now really getting his act together and has joined a Pentecostal church and getting a job. but he is "cut out of a different cloth" then most people around him!!

INCREDIBLE......the realization that comes from this small dream.
[first I have to cook the food before I can give it to ya!!]
When Spirit, on heavenlevel 7, broke off fragments of itself, to create Souls, these souls "fell" downwards to level 6. then to level 5.
each level Differentiated them yet further, and Individualized them all and each, somewhat. At some level, perhaps the second level, one up from the earthplane, "Races" were now evident. the many many souls had, by now, formed kinds of Communities, where each community had members that looked somewhat alike and had traits that were Common to all, but only existed in *that* community.
Thus a "Race" would be a very good analogy.
...*this* is my own opinion as to where Atlantis and Mu were located; in the heavens, in maybe the 2nd or 3rd level up from the earthplane, the "number 1" level.
Now, these Races are *NOT* the races of the genetic races of mankind! Not "white, black, red Indian, oriental....
I betcha that the traditions would name many of these races.
Orcs. Elves. Dwarves. Spriggins....why go buy a Dungeons and dragons.....A D and D....book or computer game and read about the Races!
go play "Morrowind", or an old SSI rpg game, on the computer, you could do worse for learning about the astral races, races that incarnate into our races, here on earth, but have nothing in common with our earthly races.
yes, in the upper worlds, magic *IS*.....being astral material!!

thus, in a "white" or "black" community, here on earth, there are probably incarnations from many races, astral races! each of these races would have traits in common, crossing the lines of "earthly" races.
O over time, these souls slowly become more "human", even as they tend to go back to their own realms, after death: their constant incarnations into the earthly human realms, slowly "humanizes' them!
NOW I see the "homeless' and the "dysfunctional" in a Whole New Light!! many, if not some, of these people have a "astral-racial" background that is *not* of the human order! thus their strengths, *as* of that race, do not Translate too too well, here, in the Western world, when they incarnate *as* a human being! someone from the "elves' might be too "magical thinking" and maybe an "airhead", and a Dwarf incarnation might incarnate a bit too "physical only", for the culture-think that is around him. thus he would be seen as an outcast or a weirdo. "counseling...jail...alcoholism....etc..etc...is his Danger!

Summery: that there are races in the astral worlds: races that are NOT replicas-reflections of the earthly races! Thus, a "racial earthly community", like of a "Chinese neighborhood, in San Francisco, might have members from several astral races within it! when someone, from such a race, incarnates, the racial tendencies show up. that person, of course, has rapport with others of that race, and will tend to, after death, go back to live in that heaven-world.
Slowly, over time, all of the heaven-races become more truly Integrated and Understanding, of each other, as we all Evolve back up the Ladder of the Levels of heaven, back up to the 3rd level...the 4th level...up to the Throne level of the 7th, back to truly HOME!

Sunday, May 18, 2003

a Title for a book that might not be written yet, a title that might not be used yet!

......."Where Magnolias grow Wild"!

There are only a few places in the world where the "southern magnolia" grows wild!
southern China, mountains of Malaysia, mountains of Viet nam....and the Southern united states along the coast from coastal north Carolina to Texas, including south Georgia and North Florida.
The Implications of that title!

Friday, May 16, 2003

Autistic man with coffee!

at my 7 am coffee shop, "the" Autistic man came in for coffee, and went back out. I saw him at a nearby bench, on my way in.
he may be SCHIZOPHRENIC too, or maybe just Schizoid: he was gesturing his hands in a repetitious pattern over and over and over....

I have seen him sitting on benches downtown, now, for over a year. probably stays at the Shelter overnight. I have tried to talk to him: very very difficult.

so many homeless people who are "schizoid"! perhaps better than the 1950s "snakepits" of Institutions, but they tossed the ball to the communities and the cities can only do just so much!
I sense here is a man with a Soul that Tries. but like of a good quality Amplifier but with a short in the speaker connections and only
a static-filled buzz comes out of the speakers for music....this person's expressions fails...
And he may well be like this for life!
"scrambled eggs" for a philosophy. I wonder what he sees and thinks about?

I knew a man once who fell through the Picture Window of Man!!
He drop his LSD acid about once per day, six pills per drop, for months and months!! "dysfunctional" to begin with!
Thus he fell out of the front room, through the plate glass Window, into the Collective Unconsciousness of mankind, out in the back yard! *this* is where the poet and Artist and mystics go, but they have a cell phone so that they can report back, lucidly, what they experience, *and* a rope so that they can pull themselves back into that room, AT WILL!
*This* acid-dropping man had neither!!
Thus he told me, one day, in a period of relative Lucidity, that he saw angels and demons *as* a daily occurrence, all day long!!
Too, he saw into places and mixed them up with his daily life...saw into places that no Sane person Should Ever Ever See!!
----but it did him not a lick of good! Nor anyone else, either!
All he could DO was to laugh and laugh hysterically, all day long!!
Moral: [if there is one!] Learn how to send that demon back, before Summoning him!!
*and*....Learn how to talk with him or to work with him, after you got him!!
....or, do not summon.........

I wonder what today's man-at-coffee sees?!!

Thursday, May 15, 2003

a grey day.

perfect day for the full moon eclipse; everyone around me is in a very bad mood! even when I came to read my 'comments" that people have put to my writings, I get The Heat! I guess when people are young and they think that they know what is real and there are "right ways' and wrong ways", no shade of grey permitted: they can judge everything thusly! even KILL those who are "not right"!!
I took a look at the site of the guy who stormed into the Ohio university, just before the site was took down. hate filled site. the Guestbook was even more interesting, where people tried to tell him that he had too too many opinions of malice towards one and all...

Just *what* are these people gonna DO when they encounter the spirit worlds?!! no matter how these critics rant and flame, the yawning grave is the Great Equalizer!
even their "logic' is flawed......because if they are right: that there is not a bit of any awareness of anything, after death, then all the rantings do not matter!
a guide once wrote, through a medium...."these souls who anger against death and afterlife, some of them dimly recall their HELL-STATE, between lives, and it was *not* nice! thus they fear death much more than normal as they are really fearing yet another long visit to hell"!

Interesting, the newsgroups and message-boards!
I find that the first three replies to *any* question or statement, are good: then it is FLAME WAR from then on. personal attacks follow and sometimes it goes on and on..."reply number 183"!
does not take much to get a personal attack against you: just write anything at all......

Wednesday, May 14, 2003


yes, sports fans, in a sense, I tremble more for *this* Possibility, rather than in dying this year!!

the story. again.

---It was summer of 1960, early summer. I was going off to college in the fall. Around July 1st, I saw my church minister, and he had
a proposition for me. the summer before, this minister took the boys from the church on a canoe week-long camping trip, up to his cabin in the lake country of Canada. This minister was from Canada, and he owned the cabin. We all, all 20 of us, had a wonderful week.
he was getting organized for this year's trip. he told me that I was a very good fellow to be a "right hand man", a helper, for him, to be his helper in leading the boys, as there were now more than 20 and all of them younger than I. I said "yes" and then I looked forwards to this trip, a month away: I would the this minister's Assistant then.
I went home and told my mother. She was aghast; she said to me..."why I have about ten dental appointments all set up so that you will have your teeth fixed before you go to FSU, in the freshman class. you CANNOT go"!!
I then told the minister about this, he then says that he would go down and talk to her, to try to convince her to let me go.
I, later, sat in the kitchen as Reverend spent near an hour trying to convince her to let me go.
to NO avail! she stood her ground. I later told, the Reverend "that even GOD could not sway my mother"!!
I had lots of dental appointments, and went to college without a canoe trip!

This event stuck with me all of my life, this trip would have been *the* "high water mark" of my childhood!
Later, as I began to Understand Symbolism in my dreams, I began to understand that "Canada" in my dreams, always represented "Heaven"! partly being "north" and mostly because of the water that separated. My childhood home was just on the south sides of lake Ontario and the Saint Lawrence river.
"mother" symbolizes the 'life on earth", my life on earth, the Power of the Mother-earth and of my own "bodysoul's" Urge-to-live!

Thus now, sports fans, you *might* be able to guess, from this account, what I am going to write!
I have had, over the years, at least FOUR points in time where I could have died! the first two points were Prophesied in advance *as* a possibility. In both years, I went, PHYSICALLY, to japan and to Texas, to live for a couple of years, and *each* of these two places were also "heaven-symbols"! Thus, a 'symbolic death" only! In 1998, that whole year before, my dreams constantly tried to "prepare" me for dying, in and within about a year. In September, I had a case of Pneumonia: then immediately my dreams told me that I was given a "Grace" of more years...yet *another* Appointment with Mr Death missed!

*WILL* Mother Win, here, yet again?! I addressed this possibility, in my prayers, yesterday, and this morning, on my walk to here at the Library. the childhood symbol *is* potent! the statement says..."I am supposed to work with Spirit, in heaven, after I die, as one of the many Helpers and Counselors and healers, of the younger souls". but Mother will Win: God himself, Spirit itself, even with the Date upon the Book of Life, cannot be able to retrieve me! I will die of genetic "old age decay" or perhaps die at 73, like of my father and of his father before him! die at 73, keeping the PHYSICAL symbolism, of being like my father and grandfather! Thus, no matter how "potent" the dreams, no matter how "real" the Visions are, in the end of it all, they well may have no impact at all upon my life! No impact, as Mother will win out over Spirit!!

In my prayers, yesterday,I addressed this Possibility with Spirit. I said," if Mother wins and you all, you Guides, angels, masters, cannot ascend me at my Appointed Time, and I am not there to be a helper with you all, then please do this: Give my dream vision-shown, heaven cabin to someone else and give my "job" to someone or someone, who is..are Capable, in MY PLACE! The Work of Healing of souls, is much much more important than whether I am there to do it or not, thus appoint someone else in my place if I am not there to join you all"!
...and I furthermore told Spirit, im my Prayers..."so when I finally arrive, 10 to 20 years from now, there could be NO place for me there!
So, if so...please either Re-incarnate me IMMEDIATELY upon the earth, with ZERO heaventime, or else give to me a place on "square one" on the lowest heavens, the very very "beginners" area, so that I will be able to humbly work my way up through the realms, like all very very Young Souls do: not skip *any* levels and do them all...like computer RPG games should be played, go explore all the levels and all the buildings and do ALL the gamequests!"!
I then gave a final prayer to Spirit, saying that..."I have given my Permission for you to do one Extreme measure[s] if I cannot come at my time, the visions give to me "one year"! Please, Spirit, have Mercy if I cannot arrive, as you know More than I. please do what is best for all concerned, including my self! And please Be Aiding me, this old age fool, as I continue to live upon the earth, if I have to live another 11+ years, beyond my "time to go"!

Tuesday, May 13, 2003

[Someone asked me, the other day, a question.....he is from Germany, and I live in the USA!
This person sort of asked me what I thought about the past and future of the European civilization!
I wrote back, just now, with some Pondering about his question.]

I am still thinking about your question about the Future of Europe.

I am 6000 miles away in space and time, but I see how once the flow of people went to the new world, all of the Genes that make for exploring, went to the west!
the outlaws, the explorers, all the attention deficient genes went west, starting about 1500 AD!
they sent their criminals....the radicals...the people wanting freedom from persecution...etc..etc...

thus a kind of "great divide" occurred.
the ones who stayed home tended to be the conservative people!
so perhaps as the great abundance of old people, in Europe, get even higher due to the low birthrate of the last 50 years....the ratio, even NOW, of the old, is nearing 60% in some north E. countries!

I read that in England and in Germany, the churches are closing, no people!

I am afraid that I have to say that as the old get even more populous and the workers get fewer and fewer...
IMMIGRATION will have to be the Rule for Europe!
*they* will have to do the dirty work and the work that only the young people can do!
that means...Easterners.....Muslims....afro people!!

lots and lots and lots of them!!

just WHO will support an population of 80% age 65 and over??
the amount of senile people who need constant care will go out of sight, the rate will just go up and up!

my advice to any young person in Europe: get a job in the medical/nursing profession!!

well, time to go onwards to more mail: that is my "Europe observations for today!"


Monday, May 12, 2003


dreams dreams dreams! just what do i make of them all?!
last night!!
[yes this is the 12th of May, the last day in my "one year to live", though "one year" would mean possibly "23 months....one year and 11 months...is still "one year"!]

I was at some ASTRAL meetingground! this meeting place seemed to be of a large building, and the outside area, where there were about 300 people dressed in "Society for creative Anachronisms" type of middle-age clothes! there were booths where archers were practicing their skills....a room where people were eating like the middle agers did: no forks or spoons, only a knife and their fingers!

At the end of this dream, a lady came up to me with a sheet of paper, *JUST* as i was about to awaken! [*this* always is most significant, an event just at the very point of awakenings....the *real* important stuff gets communicated then, I find!]
Yes, this lady came to me with a sheet of paper and she showed me the one sentence that was on it, a message apparently for me!
she was all excited and very very happy, happy herself and happy FOR me, that was apparent, as I looked at the paper that she held in her hands. And...just what was this good news? good news for her and for me?!!

I saw my name.
"FREESTONE", in capital letters.
under my name, two more lines down, are what WERE a series of numbers, maybe four or five numbers and the first sets of numbers, the first three or four, were crossed out, scribbled over, as *if* whatever they meant did not mean anything, anymore!
there was one number left...
just a "1"!!

so there I am, sports fans, now with the memory of a sheet of paper that looks like this.....the message....



betcha this "1" has to do with that "one year to live"!!
betcha i will NOT live untill 2005!
betcha that at least SHE thinks that this is so....where did she get the message? did she write it herself?
Since I have had at least THREE dreams, over the years, giving to me SYMBOLIC death dates....1964...1981...1998, I strongly suspect that these numbers that were crossed off, where those dates!
will *THIS* date get crossed off too?!!!
or is she happy for me that.....

the feeling that I get *about* her happiness, *as* I picked it up, while dreaming of her, was this...
"I am so so happy for you freestone: your time of sufferings in the earthplane are over, time now to come Home and live here, Doing your Soul's happiness here, will make you the happier after your Time of Missions on a plane that entailed all of the usual Sufferings that are encountered on that plane!"....some feeling like of that!


stay tuned.....

Sunday, May 11, 2003

a MAJOR intuition!!!

I see today, that I *could* have made a fundamental error, with all of my mother's and my own death prophecies!!

---a phrase came to mind, from my memory, a phrase from a channeled Guide: he says...."death prophecy numbers are so unreliable due to the difficulty of Guides comparing the flow of time on earth, against the passage of time in the spirit worlds! We have found that whenever a date is given, in prophecy, that the earthly event occurs ONE YEAR LATER than what spirit gave, for the happening-date!"!

Then I see what may be occurring!
when my mother was told, in her given-prophecy..."in ten years you will die", there was, for me, no Knowing *when* she had this dream! I would now bet that she had this dream ELEVEN years before she died.
and...the Master that told her about her husband, my father, living until he was 72?? why that could have been his own interpretation, the master's interpretation, as father lived until he was 73. "that one year of grace?"! the grace, itself, was part of what was already established in Spirit!

So here I was told, by this Master, in my own Vision..."in one year you will begin your Spirit life"
one year as of WHAT date, WHAT year?!! I do not know the Reference-date for this telling, only the master knew that!
His reference date could be of a time or date years from "now"!!

Perhaps I need a Second Opinion!!
...and...I have one: SAM!
Sam, my deceased Shaman friend, who both of us suspect that he was an Indian Shaman in a prior life. I have actually seen him while out of body, once: he had a Hawk headdress on his head! *the* sign of a astral traveling Shaman!

About six months after he died, he appeared to me. I could see his face and I heard him mumble something to me, a message of some sort. Then below his face, were a string of numbers, the same numbers over and over, in huge HUGE letters and numerals.

2005 D F....2005 DF.....@005 D F.....2005 D F....2005 D F....2005 D F
on and on and on, filling my whole vision, below his face, in numbers about four inches high:*shouting*, it was!

"D F"...probably as in "A D"

2005...Death [of] Freestone!!
like the "A D" is..."death of Dominius[Christ]

I would *much* put trust in what Sam says!

I will be 63 or 64, then.
Probably at 63 years of age, in the winter of 2005.
*this* is what i suspect, now, is the Drift of these prophetic messages!
*and*....this will be the Slant, of my weblogs, in the days to come. A *kind* of an "extension" of a sort.
so stay Tuned, Please! i Imagine that i will have, very soon, a kind of "crash course", in the Preping to get ready for my death! *one* of the reasons why i am beginning to feel that this 2003 year is NOT "the" year, is that I have been not having the Dreams that indicate
a "getting my soul ready for the Mechanics of dying! *they* may well occur during the last NINE months, just like the baby needs nine months of Gestation. Thus my soul-prepping, is still a year away, if i am right, now, in my Prophecy-assessments!

I will Post, in my two weblogs, any dreams and events, during the next year or so....maybe someone who will actually FOLLOW and keep track of, all of my dreams, rants, and stuff....why their *might* actually be a kind of "teaching" where one could learn how the Overself, and/or the masters and Guides, actually prepare a soul to get ready to die!
while my death is not your death, sports fans, there could be some common denominators of events, to all souls!

Thus i might have up to two more years!
I invite you all to subscribe to my mailing list, where Blogger-Pro sends the copy of each and every post, from *each* of my weblogs.
[there probably *will* be some duplicate posts, if i post in two weblogs, the same past, like of this one, but Blogger can only have one e-mail address for all my weblogs!] if the mail "clutters" your mailbox, you can change your egroups/yahoo preferences to "digest' or to even "send no mail: i will read it at the site at egroups"!
too, you have to have an account at yahoo, in order to POST to my list, but if you have an e-mail account, or even any other yahoo service, you *are* already a member!!
You may sign up from the link on my left sidebar, or i will give it here....

I will now go set it up so that you all can POST into this list!!
Comment all you want to......

Saturday, May 10, 2003

Cayugas Change Stance on Casinos

the new york times

OWANDA, N.Y. May 8 — For years, the Cayugas wanted no part of gambling fever. As the Senecas, the Oneidas and the Mohawks began earning millions from casinos, the Cayugas held to the old rules of consensus and unanimity. If even one of the five clan mothers opposed it, it could not happen.

"I suggested it three years ago, and it was `no, no, no!' " said Frank Bonamie, a member of the Cayuga Indian Nation of New York. He said that tribal leaders felt that gambling was contrary to the spiritual tradition of the nation.

But in a reversal that has angered some tribe members and puzzled others, the views of at least some members have changed. And last month, the Cayugas signed an agreement with a casino promoter, Empire Resorts Inc. (formerly Alpha Hospitality), to sponsor a $500 million casino in the Catskills.

Although the plan still faces considerable obstacles, the casino could eventually be one of three the state wants to see built in the area.

The Cayugas' change of position on casino gambling illustrated how the federally granted right to sponsor gambling has, even for the most reluctant tribes, made it something close to an economic imperative to embrace casinos.

"We all have personal feelings about it," said Tim Twoguns, a leader of one of the tribe's five clans. "But as a people, we have to look at the future in the long run, or we may not exist anymore."

The Cayugas have only about 475 members, Mr. Twoguns said, a fraction of the 8,000 or so Cayugas who ruled the northern Finger Lakes region when the first white settlers arrived. And they are the only one of seven federally recognized tribes in New York without a reservation.

So as the Cayugas held to their old beliefs, other tribes, notably the Senecas, have embraced casino projects and have begun investing in businesses like tax-free gasoline and tobacco sales throughout western New York.

The roads from Salamanca — one of the gateways to the Seneca reservation — to Buffalo show evidence of the tribe's aggressive entrepreneurialism. There is a Seneca Gas-Fuel next to the Seneca Restaurant off the New York State Thruway exit at Hamburg. There are Seneca convenience stores, libraries, health clinics and cultural centers, and in the center of the city of Niagara Falls, the four-month-old Seneca Niagara Casino, which has started dispensing $500 monthly stipends to tribe members. Before too long, the tribe plans to have two new hotels at Niagara Falls, plus casinos in Buffalo and on the Pennsylvania border.

By embracing casinos early and vigorously, the Senacas have also, under an agreement with the state, closed off western New York to the Cayugas and other tribes, producing a free-for-all among other tribes to fill the three Catskills casinos the Legislature has authorized.

Without a reservation, the Cayugas' tangible proof of their status as a nation until recently came mainly in the form of $44 and about a yard of unbleached muslin treaty cloth, which each member of the tribe receives annually from the state of New York as payment for a land purchase more than 200 years ago.

"We're lucky that we've existed this long without land," said Clint Halftown, who is directing the tribe's new business ventures.

As a sign of the Cayugas' new business interest, the tribe recently borrowed $1.3 million from the Oneida Nation, operators of the Turning Stone casino in Verona, to buy its first business, a gas station and car wash in the village of Union Springs on the eastern shore of Cayuga Lake.


it Has Come To This: Indians *must* have a casino! the old ways will die, the ways of the shaman do nothing for welfare of the new generation of the tribe, anymore!
the Boys will go off and learn all about HIP_HOP and the anger-rants, Join the [white] human race!
somthin dooornt sound or feel Right, here!!

CARY McMULLEN: Can a person of virtue gamble?
May 10, 2003

----Tuscaloosa News.....

You know your reputation is shot when your oh-so-serious books become a laughingstock.

In preparation for writing this column, I checked out two of William J. Bennett’s books from the library. The clerk glanced at them and said to me, “Just stay out of the casinos."

In case you missed it, Newsweek and The Washington Monthly published stories last week that revealed Bennett is a veteran high-stakes gambler. The former secretary of education and former director of the Office of Drug Control Policy ó he who has been a darling of the Religious Right and the epitome of social conservatives ó lost an astonishing $8 million in casinos over the last 10 years, according to the reports. Even a last-minute renunciation of gambling may not be enough to save his reputation.

In the articles, Bennett justified his extravagant pastime this way: “I adhere to the law. I don’t put my family at risk, and I don’t owe anyone anything."

But it begs the question: Can a virtuous person gamble?

Bennett is Catholic, and the Catholic Church does not forbid gambling as sinful, unless it deprives a family of necessary income. That shouldn’t be surprising for an organization that earns income from bingo. However, the church does teach that “the passion for gambling risks becoming an enslavement."

But evangelicals take a decidedly different view of gambling, and it’s a good bet ó sorry ó that the news reports caused a few jaws to drop among Bennett’s fellow travelers. Bennett was a frequent guest of James Dobson on his “Focus on the Family" program, and Dobson is one of the most outspoken opponents of legalized gambling on the planet.

The evangelical view has long been that gambling is a vice. In this perspective, it fosters greed, dishonesty and laziness, the latter since the gambler hopes for gain without labor.

Among a long list of specific criticisms on Dobson’s organization’s Web site (www.family/s.org) is the complaint that gambling contributes to a general social decay.

Dobson apparently thought he had an ally. The loss of moral fiber is one of the cardinal points Bennett has been hammering away at for years with his books and through his public speaking engagements.

One of his books was “The Death of Outrage," a critique of Bill Clinton. In it, Bennett said the president should set the moral tone for the nation. It seems fair to ask whether Clinton’s adultery is a worse sin than losing $8 million gambling.

It is telling that on Monday, Bennett issued a statement that doesn’t quite admit his gambling was wrong but says he’s giving it up anyway. “I have done too much gambling, and this is not an example I wish to set. Therefore, my gambling days are over," he said.

If this is not an example he wanted to set once it was made public, why didn’t he give it up before now? What of the example he was setting for his two sons? Or those who know him?

The reaction from evangelical leaders to all this has been strangely muted. It makes you wonder how much they knew already.

Dobson expressed “disappointment" and characterized Bennett’s activity as an addiction, something Bennett himself denied. Dobson commended Bennett for “acknowledging his problem" and renouncing gambling.

Evangelicals love a good act of repentance, but it’s a good question whether Bennett has really repented to their satisfaction or whether they will feel they can trust him again.

It is particularly ironic that Bennett should be caught with his hand on the slot-machine lever, since if you look into “The Book of Virtues," you enter a world of black and white, of “moral clarity," to use a phrase from his most recent book.

Personally, I have sympathy for Bennett, because each of us has a weakness, a fondness for some self-indulgence that poses a temptation. But since he has asked us to adopt very high moral standards, what I wonder is: Would William Bennett be in “The Book of Virtues"?

Cary McMullen writes for The Ledger in Lakeland, Fla.

Littel wonder the christain church has lost the respect of the Young! They lost several generations.
but then again, how many New Age "Gurus" have met the same fate..."do as I say, not what i do"!!

I like the idea of gambling, myself....but then i do not tell other people how to live their lives....
Interesting Coda to the Indian casino article above!

Friday, May 09, 2003


I went to my usual Cafeteria for my supper, the other day. The "old man" came in and he sat with me. Sometimes he comes early; he comes nearly ever day like i do.
I find him to be interesting, and yesterday i found him to be REAL interesting!
"poor man", he is about 65 and he seems to act and look like he is 85! he takes 6 to 8 prescriptions of pills per day. not "pills", ...."prescriptions"!!!
I find that i have great trouble talking to him as i have to take the lead in conversation. he seems to be "a pile of jelly", no backbone at all.
he has worked all of his life as a clerk in a government office. he looks "grey", *is* grey!! he has no interests, no hobbies, it seems. his wife died in the 1970s, he lives alone.
i have to be careful that i do not let him know where i live and No telephone number. he drives and he could drop over to see me each and every day! if he were to have lived next door, he would be in my trailer
so so much that i might as well live with him, rent a room in his house as he would "need" me 25 hours a day!
he is like a "warm puppy"! he agrees with any advice that i give to him, then forgets what that advice is, in one minute! "senile"? NO! it is just that he does not relate to WORDS! "advice" is given in words!
[there have been a number of people that i had to get them angry at me so that they would not eat up every moment of my time!!]

well, yesterday i found out , to my satisfaction as to WHY he is like he is!
FIVE planets in the sun sign Cancer!
five planets including the sun and moon conjunct!

ya know, i found that cancer sun sign men do not do very well in this Western society! they are all "water' all feelings. all emotions.
thus many cancer men are about one year old! they cannot grow older as they are many many many more feeling-natured than most women! our society does not use
feelings and emotions as a way of life!
thus for such a man, he "should" be able to, in a conversation at a dinner-table, to "talk" *only* in emotions and feelings! no words AT ALL! just to emote 100%!

it is up to others to provide the "shell for this old man...."cancer" water needs that cup; pour a cup of water onto a table and it just runs off the table...nothing to CONTAIN it!
Rx.....the "cure" as i see it, for him: to do something that is 180 degrees from all the currant spiritual advice..
1...to IDENTIFY! to identify as in..."I AM a golfer", "I AM a banker"! the identification gives to him that cup, that shell: now he can let the identification evolve
2...use habits and routine *as* a way of life!

...if not that.
then to just have him Live the rest of his life with his MOTHER!

---in the future, if he comes to sit with me again: know I know better how to relate to him! I will talk in such a way, and have him talk, as to have him dwell
upon what he FEELS about "this or that".

I have four planets in Cancer with mars in Pisces!

Wednesday, May 07, 2003

Yesterday i remember something that I had completely forgot about!!!
Something SO strange and SO "weird" that I could not Deal with it, back seven years ago!

Around the end of September of 1996, i was merrily, innocently, sitting at a coffee table at some Starbucks
and I happened to turn over my arm so that i could see the undersides of my arm: below the wrist to about the elbow. This is the "white" inner arm.
there was a scar on my arm, a scar like of some scratch that now has healed, but there is a red mark there. This wound was about three inches in size and it "WAS" a perfect perfect "number 7"!
the "7" could not have been drawn any better!!

I did not recall any scratches or wounds. it must have been there for a day or so.....
Oh this mark was on my arm for a month, it slowly went away...

NOW...this September will make it to be SEVEN years from this event. the end of September, what Does it Portend?!
for it surely DOES mean something, I who am Schooled and Bonded, in the school of synchronism and Signs!

*this* is why I am not going to close down my "one year to live" weblog!!

Tis probably written on my arm that i have had seven years to live!

Tuesday, May 06, 2003

....weblogs.com is very very fast now: no more glacierslow!
ping your updates to a REAL directory!


weblogs.com[ userland ]
A REAL directory of updated weblogs!



Monday, May 05, 2003

Tis Nice and Quiet this am, in the student library: finals are over and everyone is gone.

A nice place and time to Summerize......

Tis the 5th of May. Here, i have nightly dreams of going to places in the astral worlds. perhaps i even dream other people's
memories, using them instead of mine. How often, just before i fall asleep, i hear voices of people talking, people I did NOT recall hearing in the day! Often what i hear is not nice, like of an argument! why?! maybe because an argument has more "emotive-power", thus it has a more powerful etheric signal, thus it is the loudest! Some couple miles away, maybe far far away, or maybe just down the block! During the daytime, i often "find" myself in *this* state of heart, or *that* state of feeling....when I pick it up from the people around me, on the bus, in the mall. there are spots and places along the streets where i ALWAYS get a certain feeling: the people in the houses Radiate their souls.
Yes, in my world: everyone bleeds into everyone else, i feel that. in a cafe *everyone*, from the customers to the servers, why they are ALL having a conversation with each other, everyone at each table is talking with everyone else, in the room! 99% below the threshold of awareness, of course!

*this* is why i find the *cynics* bitterness-rant of "life is too too meaningless", not to be real! the older I get, the more mysterious i find life to be! but i find it "hard' to live in the world, being a "sensitive", PSYCHICLY sensitive, as well as "allergic' sensitive"!
I have had it where my friends, who *think* that they understand me: they, themselves, call the "not understanding ones", "small Nazis"....but my friends still are "Nazi-istic"
"you are too too imaginative". "yes, lost in your imagination again, Freestone".....even my friends tell me this!! little do they know!
but I forgive them: Just how can a 4th grader understand 11th grade stuff?! my "4th grade" friends lament that they have to live with 2nd graders!! most souls, in this world, are 1st and 2nd graders! Old Old souls are *very* rare!!
as even my friends put me down: I have to remember that I was ONCE like them, 2nd...3rd...4th graders! lives and lives past, surely i was "Valad the rapist", in some medieval 1500 AD village, in Europe, lives and lives ago. And my 4th grade friends, as well as the other 2nd graders, why they all could become Grad School MASTERS some day!!!

In my retirement, at 61 years of age, why i could spend my reading-time reading all these here "spiritual books", books on the afterlife and books on spiritual development. but I have my Visions. *they* tell me that the very Nature of heaven has changed, over the years! "a new heaven and a new earth" is "NOW"! thus all the books written, from the 1800s until just recently, written by spirits through Mediums, Channeler, and Sensitives, describing the afterlife worlds:these worlds have been OVERWRITTEN!!
only from the Celestial realms. upwards, are there Permanence, i read. as the Millennium Turns, from "1999" to "2000", the very nature of the lower heavens change. Since the celestial realms are far far far off, for our progressions to get us to
["there are many many MANY bridges to cross before one ever ever gets to "Ithaca""] : MOST of us, after we die, will spent hundreds and hundreds of years in these lower heavens!
----and I am finding, in my dreams, of late, that some of my 1980...1990...1999 heavens-that-I-have-been-going-to, at night, have CHANGED! changed recently, like my "Appalachian heaven". That was a shock, a week ago, to find that it no longer exists! so so many "new" people have moved to near the entrance to this place, that the "architecture Masters" redid this land!
----thus, now, most of the books are WRONG! i will not read 'spiritual books" much, anymore! i plan to stay with the "new york times": the WORLD!
[our so called "known" world, i find to be very very unknown: just look at what has been discovered in the last ten years!]

But my near-nightly dreams of astral heaven places, sure do make a kind of mockery of the ads that i hear on the morning coffee-shop radio! *this am, at 7 am, i heard this lady Sell. sell some car. Oh how important is this car, compared to my Visit to astral Brazil, last night?! but of course, for those who do not go to Russia, brazil, Iraq, in their dreams...why that car is very Important indeed!!
[a second grade coloring sheet, is laughed at, by a high school freshman, but to the 2nd grader?!! This sheet of white paper, for his "color in the out-lines of the animals and turn it in to me, tomorrow, in class"...is Quite Important, for this 2nd grader!

with Financing SO low, maybe it is time for *YOU* to get your Dream-car, sports fans!! Pay attention to those ads and go for it: then...use that car to color in your life-soul-spirit "life experience karma" with that car *as* a Tool! take a trip to you dream vacation...or whatever. enjoy your "2nd grade"...or whatever grade that you are currently in!

Saturday, May 03, 2003

I am beginning to sense, on this may 3rd, the Magnitude of my Mother's visit from heaven, on May 2nd of 1999! four years ago, my how time flies by! She actually came to see me to tell me four numbers.
"39...3..99" i have spent, now, years, pondering.....several times a month...?????!

[I could go into a long long numbersnit, here....be utterly utterly BORING to you all, sports fans!
["sports fans"....a saying that i learned, at my 1960 freshmen years at florida state...means the same as "the peanut gallery", the people who were "live", who sat in bleachers, at the studio of the making of the tv 1958 series of "Howdy Doody"!]

I think she infers that i will live till i am 73!
yes, my heaven is gone, then! no more 'Appalachian heavenlands for ME!

Friday, May 02, 2003

yet another blinger of a shocking dream about heaven!!

yes, sports fans, yet another one. a simple one, but oh the Import!

[for years and years i have dreamed about a place that they call, the inhabitants, the "Appalachian Mountain lands"!
this is a heavenworld for people who lived, on earth, in and around the Appalachian mountains. an "early heaven", for
souls who have just arrived from earth, and need to live there for awhile to get adjusted to heaven.
my sister lived there and I did too, for several years, near Asheville, n c, in the earthly mountains. my sister was in this heaven for a awhile, before Ascending higher. father too.....
I was even shown, about two years ago, my cabin-to-be, where i will live when i come there!!]

well well...last night i went to the base of the Ridge, where the entry area is, for this heavenland...One of the entry points.
i was in the astral and i met someone who was Interested in coming to see the Mountainland. so we both walked to the road that led upwards.
then THERE is where the Shock was....the road was


oh it was there, at the junction, all right, but about 100 feet upwards, this road quickly degenerated into a path, a path that disappeared
into a pasture. I walked upwards through the pasture, anyway! at the top of the ridge, where the entrance used to be, there was a "development" of houses, done tastefully. this was *like* a "development" on earth: a hundred homes all made at one time.
the woods behind the houses had not a trace of the little pass that was an entrance to the Mountain lands!!

no more Mountain land! Spirit overwrote it with new heavens! my cabin is probably not there anymore.

from this...and other experiences....
i suspect that most of heaven is, or will be, changed, as the new millennium gets under way!! so so so much of a change that i will not read any more books of channeled/inspired material that describes the afterlife worlds, that were written before about 1999!!
all are now wrong!
"A NEW HEAVEN and a new earth"...the owner's manual says.......

I may have no heaven to go to when i die!
but i will, according to my dreams, of late: i will go to the very lower realms to join the Counselors of the souls, there. be a helper.
a helper to help these souls progress up to the "real" heavens!

in one sentence: " the Last Picture Show"! .....working with souls and Guides to get the "teens" to leave a dingy drab
"Texas redneck small town", of a hell-world, to go off to "Dallas", the Big City...a higher heaven.

but i and the helpers, those who work with me, and the Supervisor Guides, will never never ever LEAVE! just like that man who owned that movie theater who tells the teenager to leave the town: he will die there of old age, alone, Mission accomplished!

Thursday, May 01, 2003

Oh what an AWFULL dream i had last night!!!
truly truly a-w-f-u-l-l!

[was it because it was may 1st?!]

....I dream-awoke to find myself in a neighborhood of a large city. that part of town where the houses begin, next to the inner city. usually *not* the "nicest" part of a city! this city seemed to be of a composite of every city that i have lived in where the "vibes' were bad
and it felt, while i lived there, that all of the aura of the streets were filled with ugliness and sufferings and angers! the kind of a place where everyone is on drugs and/or sells them; five year old kids included! the place where a 8 year old girl is Wise in the ways of sex.
In this dream, sports fans, i wandered these ugly mean streets, everything looked dark and dingy. I could see "urban renewal" at work, whole sections of housing blocks were partly demolished and in ruins. a feeling more of..."the negativity drove this area of the city to an end state, where the ruins reflect the evil"...rather than..."a cleanup is being done, to get rid of the evil"! no one lived there, only a kind of "darkness' ruled. the buildings *looked* dark, the skies were dark. the very feeling of this place felt of "darkness"!
I wandered and wandered this ugly place; only in a few blocks were houses untouched and all the people that were once living in them were gone. some construction guy yelled at me...."tearing it down, 33 square blocks"!
the final dream memory was....where i fell down onto a pile of debris and i could see a black ooze, like of a kind of oil, seep out of the ground and begin to soak everything around me. Then just as this nightmare was about to end, several people ran up to me, muttering about how they had this huge hot black oil bucket with them and they were about to pour it all over my body!! Even my body was to be saturated with blackness!

---"saturated with blackness"....the message of this dream!

i awoke. over my coffee and the mile walk to the library, i pondered a bit over this one!
"saturated with darkness"...the darkness of us all, our collective black aura and no one gets out of here untouched!
"gotta do a little hell before you can go to heaven"...the rock song lyrics say!
All of the "negativity" of all of the people around me, over the years, saturating my own aura!
I have spent years living in places where anger and pain rule.......

but it is the "negativity" of "second graders learning how to live"!! most of the world is of the "Young soul age"!
this negativity is part of how a young soul grows up to be an old soul.

comes down to this: I feel that we NEEDED that Saddam to be there, as he is us! our reflection! our own masculine urges for Power
and riches and sexual domination! I suspect that i would feel APPALLED at how many women have fantasies about having sex
in one of Saddam's "sex rooms", with Saddam or one of his relatives! He is us: if he were not there we all would have to invent him!!

Miami herald....A P wire service



Posted on Tue, Apr. 29, 2003
Son of FSU football coach pleads guilty in $10 million fraud
Associated Press

BIRMINGHAM, Ala. -Steve Bowden, eldest son of Florida State football coach Bobby Bowden, pleaded guilty Tuesday to conspiring with former Alabama quarterback Brian Burgdorf in a scheme prosecutors said swindled $10 million from investors, including the FSU coach.

Steve Bowden admitted to being part of a scam to sell unregistered securities through The Millennium Fund, which billed itself as being for "the privileged few."

Assistant U.S. Attorney Adolph Dean said Steve Bowden brought in his father and three other investors who lost a total of $4.4 million. Bobby Bowden invested $1.6 million, Dean said.

The younger Bowden once co-wrote a book titled "The Bowden Way" with his father, a Birmingham native who has been at Florida State since 1976.

A second man, James Michael Hanks of Hoover, pleaded guilty to conspiracy and tax charges during a hearing before U.S. District Judge Karon O. Bowdre.

Burgdorf, who was a captain at the University of Alabama as a senior in 1995, intends to plead guilty during a hearing Friday, said his attorney, Ron Marlow. He didn't say what charges would be involved. Steve Bowden pleaded guilty to conspiring to sell unregistered securities.

Prosecutors will recommend a sentence of one to two years in prison for Hanks and probation for Bowden, Dean said. Bowdre set sentencing for July 30.

Other than the longtime coach, documents showed investors included Steve Bowden's brother-in-law, John Madden; four doctors; and former University of Alabama athletic booster Logan Young of Memphis, disassociated from the Crimson Tide program because of NCAA rules violations.

Bowden and Burgdorf were among the recruiters who brought investors into the scheme, which began in 1996 and included a web of accounts and corporations, according to plea documents filed by federal prosecutors.

A lawsuit filed by the Commodities Futures Trading Commission said Bobby Bowden invested in the fund in 1997 on the promise of a 14 percent return.

so go buy andplay Grand Theft Auto III today!!

I will probably get to know, after i die, many many many of the Hades "Demon" entities, as friends, counselors, even!
you too, i guess!

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