......also some Journalings about my psychic experiences.
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my life after Near Death Experiences: 01/01/2003 - 01/31/2003
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Friday, January 31, 2003

interesting, my dreams!!

Interesting, indeed!
Perhaps in light of my PROPHCIZED impending death, my Guides are "signing me up" for various heavenly services!! get me all signed up with *this* temple of healings and *that* school of Counselings....or whatever!

Last night i went to a lower heaven, "lower" as all of the people in it were seemingly from the "applalachian mountain poor"! dull skies predomenant and but.........this WAS a spirit world, not here on earth.
I was introduced to a man who asked me if i wanted to make "rounds" [his word] with him. i agreed. then both of us, perhaps with yet others, went from house to house, of a number of houses.
He checked on the 'state of the souls' of people . I, myself, talked to a few of the residents, in the houses.

i have the feeling, upon awakening, that each and every dream that i have, now, that has a "signing up" to it, has it where i link to someone or some organization; where i could work with them after i die. i gotta make the connection here, i guess.

Thursday, January 30, 2003


>>>BlogSnob™ is an experimental service for members of the blogging community. It enables you to tell everyone Out There about your blog, thru simple textbased ads. It's FREE, it's fast, and it's downright simple. Besides, it's a great way to get to know about new blogs!
How this works, is quite simple. You have a personal website. You insert a simple piece of code into your page. Everytime someone views your site, a small text ad of another blog shows up on your page. To know more, click ....>>>

I like this Blogsnob. it gives a random-type weblog, when the link is clicked to, a "featured weblog of the day", [refreshes to a new blog whenever the page is refreshed or accessed] and there are about 5000 of them, and now they are accepting new members!
seems that the weblogs on this list have an EXTRA BITE to them, an extra bit of creativeness and "good sarcasims"!

Wednesday, January 29, 2003

ah good!! tis fixed, ah yes, the blogger people come into the office and all the red lights are on!! nuttun works!

well lets see now....last night i went in spirit to a afterlife place.

There was this large building with Murals all aound the walls, murals that i only had a minute to look at as my Guide took me inside.
My guide then introduced me to other Teachers, of this building and then they told me, these teachers, that this place was a


it was a mormen temple devoted to schoolings and learnings and that they had just
enrolled me into this school, and that i would go there after i died to begin School!


I am not a Mormon, now! i do not even have a family or anything of the "home and family nature" that the mormons seem to center around. i am *not* against the mormons, it is a ????? as i wonder why.....i wonder why I ought to go there, after i die?!

these guides seemed to sense my ponderings, even then and there they picked up that i wondered why.
they said to me...."You must realize that this Temple is *NOT*
like the mormon church on earth'!

so i have been Subscribed. i wonder what other places i will find, after i die, that are "subscribed' to?!!
I got a strange strange feeling, sports fans....that many of the "heavenly representations", of earthly churches, organizations, and groups, are NOT like their earthly counterparts!
I will have now about four months to find out!!

Monday, January 27, 2003

....here is that account of being abducted from my own bedroom, in a 'alien abduction experience". it was a OBE, out of dody, abduction!!
taken to the ship in my dreams!! right from my own bedroom.

ALIEN ABDUCTION...from my bedroom!

my first abduction experience...from my
> > > bedroom, asleep!!

> > >
> > > hello, everyone.
> > >
> > > Here is one of my greatest abduction experiences!
> > > As you read it, you will see that it fits the
> > > "classic' ufo-abduction process: but it was a
> > > "dream"!
> > > no!
> > > not a dream....an Out Of Body experience! I was
> > > taken
> > > in spirit to where these aliens were, in my
> > > Spirit-body! But it is an abduction experience!!
> > > [I wonder how many such experiences are really like
> > > this??!.....i think:MANY!!]
> > > ---for i was taken into the afterdeath/spirit
> > > worlds.....
> > >
> > > Dream begins......
> > > I awake, in the dream, on a grey operating type
> > > table.
> > > it is the table that i have actually seen pictures
> > > of
> > > and read descriptions of...in the narritives of
> > > Abductees!
> > > I am surrounded by several beings that do not look
> > > like human beings!---on an operating table, in a
> > > room
> > > of grey metal.
> > > and...yes...the looked JUST LIKE what is in the
> > > pictures that abductees draw.....the "tall
> > > grey-suited
> > > humansized heads, but feature-less".
> > >
> > > One of them began to talk to me.
> > > he tells me that he is surprised...they were going
> > > to
> > > give to me an IMPLANT of some sort, for some
> > > reason...
> > > but that they just had now discovered that some
> > > other
> > > alien group beat them to it and had, unknownst to
> > > me,
> > > already abducted my spirit-body and had put an
> > > implant
> > > into this body already!!
> > > thus, there was an implant already in place!
> > > so this leader says to me..."since we brought you up
> > > here, we may as well purify your AURA a little".
> > >
> > > I watched this leader and one of his assistants
> > > bring
> > > up to me a wire loop...it looked like a soap bubble
> > > blower...a loop of wire attached to a long straight
> > > wire. This loop was maybe five inches across and
> > > the
> > > straight wire was maybe two foot long, coming out of
> > > some instrument box, held in his hand.
> > > they then made passes over my body....running the
> > > loop
> > > up and down my arms and legs and along my body.
> > > [like degaussing a computer moniter screen,
> > > I guess---- when i awoke...i felt very calm and
> > > peacefull for months...this little operation, folks,
> > > had a VERY REAL EARTHLY EFFECT upon my physical
> > > body!]
> > >
> > > this spokesperson [felt "male"]...then said to me...
> > > "Now, before we send you back down to earth.....here
> > > is
> > > our Astral address so that you can come to visit us
> > > as
> > > you go out of your body, at night....AND...to be
> > > able
> > > to come stay with us for a while, after you DIE"
> > > This being then held out to my face something that
> > > looked like a business card or I D card. He then
> > > put
> > > it onto my body, somehow...so to have it in my
> > > spirit
> > > body at all times.
> > > Yes...another IMPLANT!....really.
> > > -----and the dream ends.
> > >
> > > then the Dreams of visits to alien worlds,
> > > begins...on
> > > and off, for the rest of my life!! [some of these
> > > will be put up, on this list, eventually!
> > >
> > > From this...i have a theory about these implants
> > > that
> > > the abductees recieve. they are put into their
> > > spirit-body and the are there for....
> > > ....so the aliens can moniter the person.
> > > ....they can send thought material to that person.
> > > ....when the person dies; the aliens can pull him
> > > up into their worlds of spirit...much like of the
> > > chinaman who is bald except for that rope of hair:
> > > he
> > > leaves it there so that God can pull him up to
> > > heaven
> > > when he dies!
> > > ....thus there is always a connection between the
> > > abductee and these aliens, via the implant...an
> > > implant that can not be observed by X-ray or
> > > scan...as
> > > it is in the Spirit-body, of the person!
> > >
> > > And, yes, the other major point is...someone can
> > > indeed be abducted right from their sleep, from
> > > their
> > > bedroom!! it is a REAL abduction: the person is
> > > taken
> > > into the spirit worlds of higher dimensional
> > > reality.
> > >
> > > I welcome comments and questions about this
> > > experience, folks.
> > >
> > > My theory is that the dwelling place for these
> > > aliens
> > > is the spirit worlds! the place we all go to after
> > > we
> > > die!
> > > thus, the aliens can reach us, by abducting us from
> > > our sleeping bodies, via the "out of body"..."astral
> > > travel" method: they just carry one away, into their
> > > realm, their little section of heaven!
> > > for TRUE space wrap exists...as these aliens could
> > > be
> > > the souls of deceased aliens from other planets,
> > > indeed, from far off in the galaxy, where they
> > > died...and live in their heaven worlds...and they
> > > could come to earth's heaven worlds, in
> > > ...maybe...hours or minutes!!! thus i could be
> > > carried in soul-body....to not only their ships..but
> > > to their very heaven worlds, near their physical
> > > planets...
> > > this MEANS...folks.....that *ALL* the heavenly
> > > counterparts to ALL the physical planets, in all of
> > > the whole Universe...could be reachable to you,
> > > after
> > > you die and go to live in the afterlife worlds!!
> > >
> > > too...some of these aliens could be here to help us,
> > > in heaven...as surely there are some VERY advanced
> > > races, in this Universe!!...advanced in ethics and
> > > Spirituality!!
> > >
> > > Freestone
> > > ===
> > > live an incredible life
> > >

......some person, in the live journal.com journal that i have [a copy of this one!], invited me to join a "alien abduction" COLLECTIVE COMMUNITY.


[you might have to actually sign up for an account, with livejounal.com,before you join or read this link]

so i wrote this letter and soon i will also send the experience of being abducted *as* an out of body experience.
letter of intro.

yes I thank you for the invite and i have joined.

me a Abductee?!
yes and no.

I had a dream years ago, where
I was abducted OUT OF BODY! [as in "OBE"]
in other words, right from my bedroom, in a "dream"! some people waoud say that it *was* only a dream: NO!

was not a dream at all, and i was taken to their ship, in the spirit world, to have an implant placed in my body.

tell ya what....If i can find the file, i have it somewheres and i will try to find it and i will share it here in my next post.

my point is....i wonder just how many MORE people have had Real
Alien Abductions but they would call it a "dream"!

I got real flack from a "hardware...physical-only" ufo person when i told him my account, once!
there seems to be a GREAT schism in the ufo-community over this: one side believes the aliens come from the astral-spirit wolds, and the other side belives that these aliens come only from physical other planets!
---so this guy was not happy to hear my account. I feel, myself, that these beings come from the spirit world.

the spiritualists who know that the afterlife realms exist and that we all go to heaven after we die and that the earth has many heavens "above' it: why some of these spiritualists do not REALIZE that in the Universe of perhaps 1,000,000+ planets
with Intelligent beings living on them, *each* of these planets would have their corresponding astral heavens!! since some of these civilizations would be very *very* "advanced", and have the saucer technolgy on their physical planet, why not have the astral copy of these ships *in* the heavens too?!
---and travel to other heavens with these ships and do it quickly, in time, as "distance" means nothing in the heavenly hyper-space!
in effect, i feel, that many of these aliens are the
spirits of deceased aliens from other planets in the Universe galaxy. so *BOTH* are true, the hardware people and the spirit people. the sacers come from other planets but
as astral spirit objects, as the occupants *are* spirits!

but what about the radar sightings and the physical evidence?!

they lower the vibration of the ufo-vehicle down so that it is visible: if a ghost can be seen, so can a spirit ufo!
and down down so that it can be touched!! look at the Risen body of Jesus where Thomas had to touch jesus to believe!

anyway...i will submit my "dream"!
it is NOT a dream.
you all can recognize that it IS an abuction, when you read it!


Saturday, January 25, 2003

---from the Globe and mail, newspaper. friday 24th.

>>>National calamity' declared in India over cold

Associated Press
Patna, India — An eastern Indian state declared a bitter month-long cold spell a "national calamity" on Friday as the toll from freezing temperatures in South Asia rose to more than 1,830, most in India.

The cold killed 23 people in Bangladesh, 12 in India and nine in Nepal overnight. Most were elderly and children without enough warm clothing, blankets, shelter or heating.

Officials and newspaper reports said 1,005 have died in India since the bitterly cold weather and icy Himalayan winds began in mid-December.

Winters are normally short and mild in heavily populated South Asia and millions live in shacks or mud-and-thatch houses without heat or electricity. Millions more have no homes and sleep outdoors.

Governments have built night shelters for the homeless, but they cannot accommodate all those exposed to freezing conditions.

India's eastern Bihar state declared "a national calamity" and began distributing two million blankets and wood worth the equivalent of $9.5-million (Canadian) to hundreds of thousands of homeless people, said Navin Verma, the state relief and rehabilitation commissioner

Temperatures dipped to 3.5 degrees in Bangladesh's northwestern Rajshahi district on Thursday — the coldest in 35 years, according to the weather office in the capital, Dhaka.

Bihar's declaration of a national calamity will enable the state to seek financial help from the federal government, although widespread corruption in Indian aid programs means officials often pocket the money or keep aid goods for themselves. Bihar is one of India's poorest states.>>>

...from Reuters.....
Month-Long Cold Spell Eases in South Asia
Sat January 25, 2003 08:40 AM ET
LUCKNOW, India (Reuters) - A month-long cold spell in South Asia that has killed about 1,640 people has started easing and temperatures are likely to rise over the next few days, weather officials said on Saturday.

Despite the warmer weather, 40 more people have died of exposure in India and Bangladesh in the past 24 hours.

Thousands of people, who have coped with near freezing temperatures since Christmas, sunned themselves in parks and on street corners as temperatures rose to more than 68 degrees Fahrenheit.>>>>


from the baltic sea freezing for the first time since 1948, to my upstate new york aunt, who Loves to ski, having to give it up as it is too too too cold!!

It has been MY opinion, sports fans, looking through my life of 61 years, that the weather and the culture are linked! the last 35, or so, years have been a kind of "tropic flowering " period. time to do the arts and humanities and to be the most creative, in growing one's soul.
for me...that 9-11 trade center was a MARKER! a marker in time and space that the Spiritual purpose of the end of the mellenium has been gotten to! this marker was the marker for the "rollover of the age". the new mellenium has now begun!
I used to work in a Senior center. there were many programs there for one and all...arts, poetry readings, yoga, sewing, card socials, pottery.....as IF it were a time to "do all that one has not done, to grow one's soul, before the Sunset of death, approaches, one's
PERSONAL WINTER! This senior center had many such programs and social events: many senior people took full advantage of these.

I see the 1965 to 2003 times *as* just that: a time to treat life as a "senior center", as the mellium roll-over was about 35 years away!
the new Agers write of "ascension", the Christian talk of "end times and the Return of Jesus"! so everyone HAD a time of grace, a time to finish up all the unfinished karma business. A grace-time, to grow one's soul, or even finish up unfinished soul-projects from other lifetimes, that were started within that 1 AD-2000 AD time period, but for whatever reason, were not completed.

and NOW it is over and Winter sets in!
Symbolicly *AND* literaly!
[a spiritual meaning-event, collectively, must also show up in the physical world, too!! Thus "winter" must also have a winter, in the weather!]
the marker of the trade center has been passed and probably
from now on.....
every winter, for at least 5 to 7 years, will be
cold cold cold! And ya havent seen nuttin yet! i am beginning to suspect that NEXT year's winter will be even worse and be worse by a far far greater margin! snow in Miami and regular snow at the frence Mediterrianian! London will have 20 to 40 inches of snow per year and Chicago will see 30 below fareignheit!
for it is over.
that grace period is now over: probably I set up my own death-to-come, knowing just that!! thus my life-records has it recorded, so that master read it so...."one year"...from may 13th 2002! I will die at the end of this mellenium......many many will come soon, as the wars and the earthchanges accelerate!
death for all......
thus, NOW is the time to turn one's *belief* in tha fterlife....to....*knowing* that there IS an afterlife and that everyone will go there, and to
CONTINUE the great soul-growth, that was promished by the "senior center"! every life experience, touched upon here, in the earthly "indian summer", will be a "ticket of admission" to a corressponding heavely temple, after death!

Stretching my intuition a bit: perhaps "now" is about near the corresponding times of the end of the Roman empire. a great unraveling could occur, in the world's politic, and wars will be as common as soccer matches, worldwide!! In a recent astral travels, into the future, i listened to other astral travelers coming from "realtime", and they talked about the great wars...maybe the date was around 2008.
winter, like Death, will come. it must be accepted. accept winter. no matter what the weather bureau says about..."this cold wave is the last one"! there will be yet another waiting in the wings to advance south!! winter will last till june and begin in september...each and every year, from

--Bush, the florida govenor, is going to try to abolish the Florida State Library, by july 1st. remove the books, save money.

---aunt writes me that," someone's grand old farmhouse burns down and they have to buy a housetrailer to put up behind the burned out house: they made a huge surprise....the heat bill for the house was $400 a month, the bill, even in this cold cold winter is $58 a month!!
moral: hunker down and simplify. Sell your antique old house and buy a housetrailer! eat lots of FAT and protein and
Make out your will and get ready for winter, in the years ahead of


Thursday, January 23, 2003

well I am going to add an Important addition to my RANT about the cold weather that i wrote about three hours ago....an addition the i feel *must* go with it, so here you are!

this little letter, that i will write, now, could be *the* most signifigent letter, of my postings!!

----three hours after i wrote that rant, i felt "bad"! there was a very ulterior motive behind my anger...[did you notice my anger, oozing through every sentence?!!] yes, anger, not only anger at
...seeing all the plants die and the Northern winter WIN, thoughly, as I
would indeed like the "rasterfarian, mellow, good times" to continue!
.....but anger at the fact that i will die too, soon! anger that anything and everything has a death, whether a camphor tree or a nation!

but there is yet ANOTHER, deeper, anger!!
an aside....
Once, i read, in a spirtual book, of a man's journey to 1925 China.
this writer was an old soul, versed in the spiritualist religion and Guides and mediumship and the afterlife metaphysics. On his travels he met an old man with a *very* unusual karma! this old man knew that, from a young man, that he was Chosen by spirit to do a certain afterlife mission. In oldchina, the afterlife tradition is...
is that one passess though a judgement hall, after death, and one's soul is judged. then the soul goes on to heaven or hell.
well.....this old man had a karma where he would BE one of these judges, after he died: he was a bit miffed, at first, but then he realized that someone had to do it, so he became resigned for this.

well....In a way, my anger is such that i have to accept MY afterlife mission, a mission that slowly unfolds to me, over the years, beginning even 35 years ago. that i will, after i die, i will go "work" in the lower heavens as a healer/counselor/teacher. Now, i know that the earth's afterdeath population goes to the third heaven, immediately after death: the earth's "gate" enters out onto the 3rd level, late 3rd, early 4th. the levels below are the "catch up" ,"summer school",
or "reformitory school", for all the souls that came into heaven that are
lacking in some trait or soul-essence, either by commission or non-commission, while on earth. or...maybe they died BEFORE their time, in war or earthquake, such that they are not ready, a fruit ripped off the tree, unripe!
I will, upon my death, go be trained for, and then go live in...the lower realms so to be one of the "proctors, teachers, healers.
read: "the hell worlds"! i may even *look* like a "demon" and will certainly have many many real Demons for helpers and aides!
I already have Bonded with a number of these Spirits, in real Inituations, out of body, in their worlds!! they will aid me: i will aid them, in some way.....

my "anger and resentment"?!
....that, for one, i am shown that all of my old soul friends will Go On
and enter the upper worlds. I will never see them again. never GO to live in their world, maybe for thousands and thousands of years!
[*how* long, sports fans does it take until *every* hell-living soul ascends??! let alone until they stop entering hell from the earthplane! probably the sun will burn into a black clinker first!
a billion or four, years!]

NOW things become Clear to me! why it is that most new agers are "gentle' and vegetarian".....they are getting up to speed, getting a preview, here, of what it will be like after Ascention! they are living,NOW, here on earth, a bit of what it is like in the 5th...6th...7th planes of heaven!
but for ME.....a nice juicy slab of roast beef is "lightness", and a delacate food, as even that meat vibration will be far far above most of the worlds, in vibration, where i will go! actually it is close...

NOW i know why my clairvoyant preview of my "cabin on the *very very* edge of heaven, *right* next to the entrance of the earth" , is that way! yes, i was shown my cabin-to-be, after i die!!
that cabin, sports fans, could be the very very highest that i will ever go to visit, for melleniums!! only by being right next to the earthsphere can i even function in this heaven #3!!

no wonder i think in images!!
the abstract mind, the intellectual mind, is a trait of souls on level 5 or 6! the mind of image-makings is a ATAVISTIC trait, of the human race! read: operating on the lower levels, now. so i have to use that type of "mind", train for it here on earth. but here on earth, today, this imagemind trait is "regressive", old, outdated, as the spiritual evolution has gone on the more abstract thinking!
but I will have to near-exclusively use this imagemind way, there.

so *what* can i do to prepare?? perhaps learn how to become a
MARINE DI [drill instructor]! be *like* a very intelligent, feeling marine! "length, breadth, height, Disipline, order, structure, mind, discerment, questionings, feelings.
if the "sin' of a woman is...no mind: the "sin' of a man is..no feelings!
[how many men have i asked, like..."what was your feelings about that mountainview outside of that Asheville, north carolina, motel?"
and i draw a blank as he has not a single feeling for anything of the mountains! he would need a couple of hundred years of "VENUS" to catch up....as in a "summer catch-up school" for a high school graduate who graduated alright but failing in "feelings" so that in order for him to enter "college" that fall...[the 4th heaven plane]..he would have to take this remedial course in the 2nd world Venus level....as the person who failed "mind" would need a "Mercury' level, level 1!]
so i will join the cadre of people who are the "drill instructors", there. probably thousands of us, with many more times demons.
a whole Office just for this.
and YES, if my visions prove correct, a major WAR will occur in or within 3 to 5 years, a war far far larger than merely taking Saddam out....why a million or so souls will arrive all at once, mostly young souls who are RIPPED out of their bodies, unprepared both in time, dying young, and unprepared in Quality....*this* is where most will go, into the catch-up schools as they are unripe yet, for their Destiny in the upper worlds!
...let alone all the earthchange disasters that will surely occur!
suppose 30% of the earth's population will all come at
once: 20 billion souls crowding the entrance doors to the Reform school!!!! we will need ALL the help that we can muster; do i hear any Volunteers, from the peanut gallery, folks?!

I resent a bit that i am going DOWN while all my older soul friends are going UP! so i have to live-in-training, like a young soul , now, here on earth...and having a needed FUNDAMENTALIST streak in my soul.
I will have to work on increasing my "new york city "acidness", in my speech, and eat MORE meat. develop sarcasim even the more....
like, to a young girl in level 1..."what do you MEAN that your cell phone call was emotionally very important as you made that left turn and crashed into that car....you can now see that the other lady was crippled for life and all of her career was done away with and she is in constant PAIN all of her life and NOW you will live *as* her memories and feel her pain as she did as this pain is *your* pain: then you two will be roomates in the Cabin for twenty years, sharing lives together!"!!
I am sure both new agers *and* christians would not like what i write here....but somone has to be the "orderly", or the "instructor" in the hell worlds! Spirit has to have that Outpost there, or NONE of these souls would ever ever

when Sathya Sai baba asked me in a spirit dream, about ten years ago..."would you, freestone, like to work with me in the progressions of MILLIONS of souls...NOW i see what he meant!!

betcha i signed up for this one *long* before i was ever born!!

"elietist"?! me? think that i have some "instructions that will tell ya what to do"?!
well....how would *you* like to live in hell until the last human soul came into it, from the earthsphere...and that does not count the time until the last human soul LEAVES the hell realms!! I may as well be there "forever"! If you think that "i act that i am more knowing than you, well...well, pray to volunteer to work *as* one of the aides in that same Office that i am in; just pray to Sai baba or to Jesus, to work 8with8 me, to help progress millions of the "Homeless"!!
["Homeless"....souls who really are "vibed' to live on level 4..5..or 6..or even 7; but cannot yet as they died unripe-young in years, before their time to die...or else died with some great "sin" or omission, in their life-path! thus they have to live in the Shelter, the Reform School, the catch-up Summer school!
YOU, blessed soul, in all probability, will only peer at these worlds, on your way Up! this is what 'ascention" is all about, to me: the human race, collectively and individually, getting a "level-up" and most will live in the upper heaven levels, after they die. they, you all, have that New melenium assureance, but you have to live out the rest of your earthly life first...kinda like of a "Rapture in slow motion"!
but I will NOT!

i will join the group that is the " Ultimate last picture show"...that movie theature in that small texas town where the owner saw his Karma to be the One to help send off all the young people, off to Dallas; but he must remain behind until the *LAST* kid has left this town, and after even all the newcomer-to-town kids have grown and left the town!
so, instead of reading "spiritual books" or joining an ashram" or
"meditating in the woods", in my last months of life, i will read the new york times, eat meat, and study Fundamentalist rants, and learn even the more to be "earthly" and to learn more of Disipline and mind and feelings!


cold even here in tallahassee!!
suppossed to go to 10 farenheit tonight. north dakota *might* see a minus five for a high temp!

in this dawning five years of


I noted something on my yesterdays bus that disturbs me greatly!!

here was a girllady.
"girl-lady" as in "manchild"! she maybe was 25 but as far as i could tell she was 14!
cotton for brains! a doughnut hole for a head. the bus diver tried to give to her directions and it was clueless, and there was an inference in her talk about her ringing cell phone that of COURSE she would answer it while making a left turn into traffic!

florida's school system ranks, i hear, about #48th, in the state rankings and i hear that all the top administrators voted to give themselves a 30% raise in salery while Programs are being cut for the kids!

so here is a girl that was never never taught


thus she is her teenage girl archtype and she will do all of the archtype-things that a woman will do, for her life, unless she can rise above these Programs!!

our collective weather is turning very very cold and only native plants will survive and the orange juice may well come from brazil, by 2008! so here is a girl that may be blank about proper anti-freeze for her car and battery care. she is a hot-house plant, where Permissive life-styles let her do her wandering, emotional, thing: NOW it is time for the grasshopper to DIE and the ANT now comes on its own!
her schools Failed her!! not her fault she has cotton for a brain! in a place where the CEOs come first with Tenure and the kids come last?!!
what will she DO??
probably marry a good strong man and let HIM dothe thinking for her, like the girls did in the 1956 to 1963
COLD TIMES. cold times so cold that ithaca, ny, was snowbound for a whole month and no trucks, eve, got out and in 1957, the heliocopters had to drop food onto most rural counties, nearby, in upstate new york.
-40 degrees occurred in places.

*that* was the time of the ant....fundamental conservative and the job and the draft were all....women stayed home and cooked and cleaned and they let Authority do the choosing for them!
and men stuck with that job even if it killed them....strong men who put down devient behavior, devient behavoior that only "grasshopper times" can support!!

tonight, tallahassee, in north fla, will have 10 degrees.....and probably WILL have 20 every third night until the end of march: no more pretenses to 'tropicness!" all native, and northern plants, from now on.....in this here timeof global coolings!!
five to seven years of
"siberian arctic air masses even putting 25 degrees way down to Miami!!

Wednesday, January 22, 2003

I read today that Fargo, North Dakota, will have a high temperature today of -10!!
that is ten below zero FARENHEIT!!
and that is the high for the day!!!!!

my own sudies of cycles of weatherleads me to believe that we all Northern people are in for about 5 to 7 years of a winter
that ...

"Global Cooling" anyone?!

[whenever the experts just KNOW that they are right, life does a surprise!!
I wonder about the Second Coming, what a shock *that* wouild be if it occurs, to the Intelligentia?!]

every year, from now on, for years, new york and chicago will have six months of ARCTIC winter!
good thing free trade agreement has it so, where all
our florida oranges and vegtables will come from latin America! Frosted dead sticks do not maketh a good orange juice!

those germans and other Tuetonic races probably are perfectionalist, picky, time-driven....as the *know* that if they are NOT that way, winter will kill or ruin everything that they own!

[get your arctic parka while they are still in stock.]

Tuesday, January 21, 2003

....Oh what Interesting astral travel, OBE, dreams i had last night!!
*that*, sports fans...is the Understatement of the year!!!

Yes, i am amazed at my dream experiences. only i do not call these experiences dreams as they are Experiences. there were several last night.
.....a Guide appeared to me and this guide wanted to show to me how
sleeping people are guided into having OBE experiences, to see astrally the earthplane and to see heavenworlds too! the two of us then went to a lady's house where she was sleeping and shortly thereafter, the three of us were floating twenty feet above the road in front of her rural home. I went, with her upwards several hundred feet and then i saw what she saw: she peered upwards at the glowing stars, but what became apparent was, as if she were
peering DOWN onto heaven's landscape from about 5,000 feet!!
Instead of stars she saw hundreds of dwellings and forests and fields, of heavenland!! my giude then told me..."now that she has seen that heaven is real.....lets hope she remembers this upon awakening...ought to give to her a Measure to 'reality-check" the material world against.....that she now knows that the afterlife exists"!! then we hit her head reall hard so that she, while yet aseep, could actually feel the blows and thus she would wake up: my guide was afraid that if she kept on sleeping, she woul awaken in the morning and not remember this experience of experiences!
thus we both hit her and she woke up, this dream now burned into her memory!
...next scene. the two of us, guide and myself, were somewheres in the state of texas, by a lake, the guide showing me a ruins, in a field, of some sect's camp or house. [Waco??!] then both of us flew eastwards over the wooded, fielded, landscape to....a black couple, in their home, somewheres in Liousianna! The black man wanted to keep looking for work in the oil fields and she wanted to go home to mother, east
of the river: they were about to split, we listened to the arguments: this marrage will not work!
.....next scene. a man in a lab somewheres, we talked about how the material that he is working with is....speakers for a sound system...a copy of the earth's speakers but made of a different material than of the physical. [this place is in the afterlife!]. inference: that speakers exist in heaven, probably computers and the internet too!! they may not look like the earthly counterparts, but serve the same function.
...next scene. An amazing place, looked like a large "church social meeting hall with dining tables filling the hall" all the 100+
tables had white tableclothes, with dishes and food.
then many many people came in and sat down to eat and to socialize. it became apparent soon that me and my guide were at some large social gathering of
MEDIUMS! most were women, and nearly all were heavy and weighed about 200 pounds each, if they were people of earth: but they were residents of a heavenrealm so that weight does not matter! [once a pyschic at a Spiritualist
camp in new york state told me that this is so, that most psychics and mediums are a bit heavy..."overweight" as the more body cells that one has, the more astral ectoplasim spirit matter can be generated by their bodies so to connect with the spirit world with!] I sat at the very back end table, at the very very left end. perhaps as i was "new", or perhaps that all the mediums were RESIDENTS of heavenworld and i was not! the lady to my immediate right was a 250 pound black "mamie"...she had about ten small "babies" all around her, in the air, floating in the air! she must either be a "mother" in a place, in spirit, where the babies go if they die *as* a baby, or that she oversees a bunch of babies on earth, as a guide!
.......next scene. a more or less "formal" meeting between me, my guide, and a group of people from this medium meeting. these were the leaders of this group of people. all of them wore white robes that had a faint but distinctive tinge of green to the color, a certain type of green that i have seen before in books of spirits, a green that means..."healers of soul-conditions"!
our talk?
it was about how i am Joining with them, becoming one of the members of this group. there was inference that the Purpose of this group, one group amoungst many similar groups, in heaven, now....was to have each member go to the earthplane, in spirit, to be Guides to living people, one on one. they talked of a Great Oncoming Event, here on earth, in a year or three, an event that could be much like the PENTECOST a few weeks after Jesus's death, where the pentecostal "dove" descends, spirit outpours down upon the earthsphere and heaven and earth become *very* very close.
the earth's people will have a huge spiritual revival and the New Religion will be a "Spiritualist" religion where everyone will have a direct perception of spirit and their own connections with spirit. there will be guides for each person.
"a few months to a year or so, from now"...I had the feeling.

so from what i have overheard, sports fans.....in my being with these souls, that there will be very very soon, maybe in a year, maybe in ten years...this great GREAT outpouring of spirit upon the earth and vast numbers of guides will contact the earthpeoples. it will be like that great outpouring of spirit upon the disciples shortly after Jesus ascended, and the Gifts of spirit were given. To each person, though, not like of a whole church or nation. each person will have the Awakening of his soul into constant communion with Spirit, spirits, and the spirit world, *while* living on earth!!

as i am "supposed" to die, soon, this dream experience probably indicates what my major Work will be, my Mission in heaven, will be, after i arrive and Get trained: to be one of the Guides to people on earth. i will travel down from heaven to Guide, heal, counsole...etc..etc....individuals.

and NOW, to anyone who read about my last major visionpost, here, a few days ago, about "my bonding with demons in the hellworlds while all my friends go on to the higher heavens"...
NOW this all makes sense!!
the Entance to heaven, from the earthsphere is, from what i have been Taught, NOT at the bottom of the "seven major levels of heaven"! it is about a level 3.5! the hell worlds are below the level of the earth, at "1" and "2". thus if i want to be able to, as a heaven afterdeath resident, go back to earth, as a guide, i have to "stand on a foundation" to do so, as the earth is NOT such a foundation! i have to have the vibration of the level one and level two within me, in order to come back as a spirit guide to earth.
I ALSO must have demon helpers, on their own level!
but they are "demons" in name only, the christian name. actually they are just resident souls/spirits who live in level one and two.
Thus, in order for me to come back to earth, to "counsole, heal, guide, living people, i have to have that level one and two vibrations within my soul.
and TOO, indeed all my friends will "go onwards" as they do not have this Mission, that i will have! i suspect that MOST souls do not have such a mission as this one: when they sever their connections with the earthsphere, it is UTTER and for keeps; they evolve, in spirit, and go upwards to level 4....5....6...and to eventual Union with the Celestial.
not me!
apparently the Aquarian age, the "next mellenium" of 2160 years, must have Angels and Guides who are *Dedicated* !
"Dedicated' as in..."a dedicated server"...or a "dedicated word processor".....
the vibration that they have, cannot be used for anything else in the upper heaven levels, as it is "earth-level-centered!
thus this Guidemission is *all* they they will do, for "2160 years"
[since time in heaven is 10 X earthtime.....I could be doing this for 21,600 years.....yes, my friends from earth will be long long LONG gone into God!!!] Thus i cannot also do what most other afterlife souls will do, in the upper levels of heaven. i will be "stuck" with this mission, perhaps till the Age changes again, 2160 years from now.

Now i also can feel, as surely my whole 61 years of earthly life has been a kind of "preparation" for this "Career"...why it is that i need
meat to eat and live very very "Earthly" and not "New Age" at all!!
....for the New agers are the ones that will Ascend: their very Vegan/vegetarian diets are a Preparation for their Leaving of the earthsphere and living in the High planes of the afterlfe. Not ME!!
I have to be very very Grounded and think in images, not the "higher evolutional" abstract thought. I will have to Guide level 1 and level 2 and level 3 earthsouls, from spirit...i beetter be on good good terms with "Hiphop rappers" and "outlaws" and the "dysfunctional".....here on earth, now....as i will work with the Office of Healing and Guidence, for these souls!
NOT only while alive, on earth, but if they, after they die, go to live in the level 1 and 2 "hells", i will have to guide them there too!!

tis Humbling to Know that 99% of the old souls, of this planet, when they die, will Go On, and i remain behind, near eternally, never never to see them again, perhaps....

...that movie about a man who owned a movie theater in a dying small texas town: his mission was to help all the teenagers LEAVE this town...but he also knew that he, himself, could never never ever leave!

I guess i will continue to play computer games, read the nyTimes...in my remaining months and not join up with any new ager way of life....funny.....in all the new age groups that i post to....I am probably 180 degrees AWAY from their vibration: now i see why, from this one dream alone!!!!!

Maybe i will see ya in your dreams...a year or so from now!
...or at least someone from the spirit Office Association!!

Monday, January 20, 2003


I recall an interesting article by an Educator, months ago.

he more or less tries to answer why the "kids of today's schools are not learning very well".
he says...."In essence, it is not in our best interst to have our kids learn how to think for themselves and to develop their minds! For if schools *DID* this, our kids Will Not Make The Purchase!!
A person who thinks, might not be swayed by the emotional pull of the advertisements and they might not buy".

yes, our economic future and *your very job* might depend upon our kids being "dunb", so that they will buy buy and have the factories a-humming and then *you* will have a job and social security in your old age!

......." if all the Lemmings are a-marching towards the Cliff, the one lemming that turns away and refuses to join the pack, why the rest of the lemmings will try to correct the devient way of this one lemming: correct out of kindness, if not in "Force-ness"!

Sunday, January 19, 2003

...a Heavendream for the books!!

tis now noon and only now can i even begin to assuge my last night's visit to the heavenlands, in my OBE dream last night! Yes, another "someone taking me to places in the afterlife": i wonder , today, how i will DEAL with the implications?!

[I only can recall parts of this...]
dream begins. I find that i am in a large open green field with a building off to my right. I, with my Guide, walk into this building; i notice there is a sign of some sort over the door, something about
"cemetary after death"! inside the building were several people and i eventually learned that these people, in charge of this building, were in charge of seeing new arrived souls go on to 'somewheres"...this place is the PARELLEL to a funeral service on earth, that is....when a person dies on earth and the Undertaker and funeral home and the cemetary do their thing onto the body, the Sleeping soul takes about as many days to sleep and to arrive to this place. thus this place is in charge of the heavenly counterpart to a funeral sevice on earth, for a deceased soul: basicly this place is the "mr death fetching service"!! "mr death", so to speak, lives here and does his thing from here. there is kept a LIST of all oncoming deaths, in the immediate future, and when the Time Comes Due, for a soul to die, these people spring into action.
the head person, in charge, tells me..."you, freestone, are number 46 on my list"!
[this is just one of many many such offices, in spiritworlds, for retrival: *this* office is the One that will fetch me!]
just how many days does it take? the 2000 year tradition is "three days"...bury in three days. 3 X 46 = 138 days...thus in early June
of this spring, is that time, if three days are alotted!

next scene....
I am now in my own future, apparently! I am seeing what WILL occur, in my own spirit worldtime, ahead! I am in some small 'reunion with friends" heavenplace. i am shown that ALL my closest friends will go onwards, up the "mountain trail" to higher heavens and that i will stay behind! there will be no friends or relatives from
my earthly life, that will be with me.
i then fly, with a guide, through some of this Land, the land beyond the arrival place. he gives a name for it and i dimly recall the name, from my spiritualist readings....i also see palm trees AND fir trees next to each other and i remark about that to him, and he tells me that anyplant can grow next to each other here as this is a heavenworld!
next scene. i am with a group of not really human-looking entities. i dimly recall what they looked like:
demons from pictures and drawings, that i have seen, over the years; but with human faces. they tell me, then, as much; that they are what the world would call 'a demon"! but the "world" that we are in, their world, is lush and green....no fire and brimstone here! one of the leaders welcomes me to this place and the local little town; some kind of "headquarters" of some office of theirs. One of these guys shows to me a signboard with about 30 names of worlds that are of this world-group, of places.
again, i can only recall that most of the names i have seen before and in places like of Dante's Inferno, the book!!
"Strax, Dis, Stax, .....names like that. names of classical hell-worlds!
they all THEN show to me their over-riding project. they call it...
"tearing off the now-inadiquit, now outdated, SHROUD of
Deus"! I knew immediately, even in the dream, what this means!!
.....there is the lower heavens of arrival. there is the Spiritual training levels for the Celestial realms where "Deus", God, *is*.
during the last 6000+ years of judaic/christian times, all the training levels have become Christian and over time. then there are the end-state, final placement, Celestial worlds, of pure Spirit.
"Management" has taken over!! the good ole boy system, in a high school......a model i could make, for this training school-for-the-celestial! but NOW, in this high school, the incoming class of kids are "gifted, IQ 0f 160, and they Do Not Feel Comfortable with the old order, which is now FOSSILIZED. [read....the 1960 to 2003 adults, often do not feel comfortable in a 1930 or 1950 "1st baptist church" where Fundamentalism is the Rule! many christians, here on earth, are utterly AFRAID of all creativeness and freedom as these will always lead one to "SIN"!!!! ]
thus, from this encounter, i sensed that The One Unifying Mission, of all the "hellworlds" is to overthrow this training school and dissolve it! [ analogy: the 1970 hippies, seeing the utter fakeness of 1960 straight society and thus they wanted to overthrow it!]
--there is yet more!
It became apparent to me that the road upwards, where i saw my friends go onwards, led through this entrancehellworld: my friends did not stay, only passing through. But i will stay with these people as i am Bonded in unison with them!! one of them then did some Act upon my astral body, to clean it of "low chackra" impurities, gotten from the earthlife. then it was apparent, in the rest of this dream, that i will work with my new friends, to overthrow that
Constipated training school, that lies between EntranceHeaven and the high realms! the vibrations of the 1945 to 2003, incoming souls, are apparently SO high, that they are even higher than the Teachers and masters that are in the training schools, such that the
training schools probably will have to be dissolved and reformed, utterly.
[like; the 1st baptist church burns down and a new age Shamanistic center takes its place where it is taught that the "only" contact with spirit that one has is shown to be within one's own soul, and not dependant upon any "priest'
or Doctrine, from without!]

a true "war in heaven"!

yes, from this it looks to be as if i am going to live in "hell" and love it and do try very very hard to overthrow all the "training school Fundamentalisms" that have grown there, in the last 2000 years: probably soon, here on earth, the Fundamentalist way of life is DOOMED also!
--the phrase "let it all hang out" or...."do your thing"...has nothing to do with a Church way of life that has as its basic Way of living, to be the word "NO" and the word "Guilt" or the words..."you are worthless unless you Repent to OUR way"!!!

so please, any fundamentalist christians who read this and want to try to save my soul, applying pressure on me for that....remember the Inqusition, burning at the stake and on the Rack....remember not to try this on someone who does not believe as you do!! the very very URGE to do so, to put me on the rack for thinging "bad" thoughts....why that *IS* the reason why that training school must be gotten at and removed, if all souls are to be free to do and create *anything" that they want to, in the future heavenworlds....!!

I have interesting dreams.

Saturday, January 18, 2003

I have a friend who subscribes, somewhat, to the psychology
that everyone is basicly the same, in mind. Somehow, i suspect that he thinks that AUTISM is just another mental trip that one can just get out of by Proper Thinkings. as if it is *really* "your fault" if you are autistic!

In my own experiences with people, i sense that there are utterly utterly different ways of being human!
---like that lady who, i *think*, is not really set up to talk. Someone asked me about her hands, even though she is a street person, homeless, she has the MOST delicately manicured fingers!
of COURSE! just as one would want a pleasing face, to face people in talkings, she would have Beautifull hands as she uses her hands to talk! not in as in..."sign language: she deaf"...but that she is, apparently, *not* a verbal person, she talks with finger-gestures. i can well see how she is not part of society. ...there is little in common! as if she belongs 500 years in the past or 600 years in the future, or perhaps she Incarnated from another solar, planetary system's Race! and of course society judges that it is her fault, all she needs is some Counselings....

I have great trouble thinking two things at once. *SO* much so, that
i get tripped up anytime and everytime.
HOW can i eat comfortably with another person? i listen/talk *or* eat!! not both. as much of my focus is on the food, when i look at my food, the listener can greatly sense that and *that* is an utter social fatal error as that means that "i consider food more important than them"!!
that is how it is, and for most conversationalists, the social stroke-ploys just covers that! most people can look down for a second to slice a piece of carrot, while talking or listening and the other person accepts the act as part of the meal. but apparently for ME, since i have to put ALL my attention to the slicing of that carrot, it is utterly utterly apparent, to the other person, that i left his world to attend to something of my world!

--i once looked down to stir my sugared coffee, during the moment when my coffee-friend was baring his soul to me....and this SO offended him that he did not speak to me for over a MONTH!!

I have left entire meals on the table, untouched...not one bite, as my dinner-friend had such a intense, deep, conversation.....that i needed every bit of "brain power" in order to attend!

Rudolf Steiner says....that each person is a species in and of itself, especially compared with all the incarnations of that one soul through time. there is that "species similarity" between each and every incarnation. thus each of us, here, now, is utterly different from each other, and that is why much of the trouble comes in "communications"!
like: once i tried about three times to tell a lady where i lived, using images. there was no way she could mistake that i lived directly across from the one nursing home, in a town of 100 houses!
ah.....but she thinks in DIGITS!! in numbers. she kept asking me for my house number...i wondered why until i realized her Cant....she knew immediately where i lived once i told her the number of my apt!!

Friday, January 17, 2003

I was browsing Barnes and nobles yesterday and in the bargin section was a book by a well known psychic.
it was about the afterlife and what it is like and what to do, here on earth, in preparations for it!
[i cannot recall her name, i always do that as my autism is such that i never never remember names of books, movies, etc,etc!]

she had a page or so about the time to die, when a soul before birth chooses when to die. she says, her guides tell her, that there is almost always several "exit points", in time, when a soul can leave the earth IF it wants to, on the soul level. there might be three...four or more and even two in six months and then no more untill ten years go by.

---this got me to thinking again about my own case. spirit has told me that i had one in 1964 and again in 1982 and yet again in 1998. I could have died.
what i find Interesting about my vision-dream last may 13th, 2002, where the India master told me that i had one more year, and getting this info from my records that i, myself, had set up before i was born.....this puts a harder EDGE on this "exit point"!
I have been shown that by the end of 2002 [now], i have finished up all my life-mission, acorrding to other dreams...
so that this exit point is *the* major exit point.
theoreticly, i could still pass it by, if i DO...then i probably will live till my genes run out, or else in some collective earthchange disaster!

THIS brings to me some very interesting questions, sports fans!
*could* i pass this one by?!
SHOULD i pray to have this one go by?!
I could!!

I spent some time on this.......coming to some observations.
If i do pass by, then all the Players in my afterlife missions, in heaven, would have assembled but i would not be there.
Miss the ultimate Appoinment. thus any learning or Work, up there, would not be done.
So i prayed to spirit, as this all involves many many other people in spirit. suppose i had chosen, after death, to work with the healings of other incoming souls: if i miss the appointment, that would not be done!
so, in prayer, i asked Spirit that IF i were to miss my Time, then you, spirit, please appoint others, in spirit, to take my place, to take my Missions, that i would have if i died in 2003. the Work comes first: matters not if i do it, or others!!

Spirit might have something here on earth, yet, after all...but i found it strange and even a bit "exciting and radical" to have it set up in etheric 1938 to have missions in the spirit world and then Miss the arrival appointment so that i am not there for it!!
and....if i miss it in heaven it could reflect upon my remaining earthtime too!! i could not, on earth, be "part of the solution", either!!
if i were to remain, i probably should act either as if it were a whole new life and do things differently, from what i do now...or just not give my opinions to anyone and join the Consumer human race! I would know that whatever i was supposed to do, in heaven, would be in good hands and maybe even in better hands than if i were there for it all!!

i probably would know, by my 62nd birthday, on june 28th of 2003....whether i had passed by the exit-point, or not!
if i am still here then, i guess i will close my "one year to live" weblog! what could i do at 61 years of age with a lung disibility??
60 to 70 of all socialness is OUT! for me....any lady who lives with me *MUST* have no perfumes, no detergent in the wash, no furniture....etc..etc...and i have to RIGIDLY have to "approve" each and every thing that she has or does....for my own health's sake!!
"alone"...i guess!

i wonder what *interesting* things that i can do with yet more life: i will find something!!

Thursday, January 16, 2003

today at the cafe at the church!

as i went into the front office area, there was a man standing by the door of the church office who looked familiar.
I used to know him from the 1970s hippie days and i saw later that he was sort of "schizophrenic".
"homeless" perhaps, in the 80s.
he shook my hand and he says that he just now got out of the Veterans hospital after an operation and an four month's stay there.

he looked like death warmed over!!
depressed and utterly caved in, as a way of life.
a tomato on a vine that had no trellis so that the tomato rotted on the damp ground.

he needed a dollar for "bus fare". i guessed he was going to the vet clinic, but the lady i told the tale to later, i could sense that she thought that my $$$ was going to go into a bottle of booze!

as he left, i have had "terrible' mis-givings about what i sense is his future!
I sense TWO possible things he can do, for the rest of his life.

one....everyone care for him in every single way for life. he be "everyone's problem" and such as he can do little for himself, it is up to others to "walk him through a life"!


he should join a CULT!
a live-in cult, or maybe a Church, like of the Johoveh Witnesses. a place where rigid rules are laid down....firm but fair!
join the most far right of the rigid cults, perhaps.....
in other words, give up his life to all others in a different way, a way such that the rules are laid down so that his "drop of oil, dripped onto the Lake Ontario or the black sea, will not expand expand expand so that there is one molecule per square tenyards!
everyone form a cup around him so that he internalizes absolute 'black/white" laws!!

or else......

rot sets in....he is near there now!

Wednesday, January 15, 2003

my autism did me in again!

yes, i can play console games. I had one that i bought last week, for my playstation 1. called "persona 2". a very very good game but oh so so so complicated, a rpg, with stats, monsters, special attacks, etc...etc.
it became obvious very soon that i needed to keep track of about ten things at once and the list of things is about 80 long for *each* of these ten things!! 800 things. or i die *real* quick, using the wrong kind of magic on the monster, say!
brings to my attention YET again that i can only think, or do, one thing at a time. If i think of a red apple, i cannot also thing of an
orange: apparently most people can do this, i utterly cannot!
Once, while "losing it" in grade school, the teacher telling me "to concentrate, freestone, on what i am doing"....i ended up utterly lost as i was CONCENTRATING, which has ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with what one concentrates on, so that now i was not aware of anything but "concentrating"!

I now know what the "autistic's dream kitchen" is....
only SHELVES...no drawers...no cupboards. everything must be in view at once, as once the item is behind the shut cupboard door...


i have often bought a jar of....... i put it in the cupboard and shut the door and then next week buy another jar as i do NOT have a jar of it in front of me: i put it in the cupboard and discover that i have one already. next week i buy another jar........

oh, in social situations...if i "am suppossed to keep a secret' about something, i feel paralyzed in conversations as i *must* concentrate only on not telling, as just when i focus on OTHER than this 'secret", the inhabition is gone, of course, and i will blab it out right away. also if the person i talk to is depressed, say, i can *only* talk to this person about the depression as this depression "IS", and it fills every one of my brain cells so that it is the only thing to talk about until the other person is not depressed anymore!

oh my writings!
i have to choose between "proper punctuation....capital letters...spellings"


communicating my thoughts and feelings....but not both at once!
thus i have to let go all the "capital "i" s......for instance.
at five word per minute, it is a wonder that even i can type at all....*this8 is why my writings are a "english teacher's nightmare"!
must be.

ice cream.
in the Baskin Robbins, i once noted that two people were looking at the 150 kinds of ice cream menu board, to choose. all, each flavor, was WRITTEN, not PRINTED!!!!!!!! i cannot read print unless i have an hour to spend per page! too, i would have to spend 20 minutes PER flavor, to choose....
what do i do?
i go up to the boxes of ice cream in the freezer and LOOK at the ice creams and order by looks alone. do not even consider the name to be real or important, i even order by pointing or..."that one"!
thus i eat ice cream that is fresh. the other people eat words! their ice cream...."strawberry" word...might be from the last dregs in the bottom of the box and all freezer-stale.

I know utterly....that the word is NOT the object!

Monday, January 13, 2003

anti hip-hop....rap?!

there was, for me, a very interesting incident over the weekend! Tis amazing how from such a little event, can there be SO much linked with it, and Questions asked! But one has got to NOTICE such "little" events first!
On the saturady bus, i sat near a guy who rides the bus a lot: i know little about him except that i see him a lot. someone *might* say that he is a bit "retarded"; he has a physical disibility, at any rate. His personality seems to be "sweet' but a bit "fundamentalist" in slant.
well, on this bus day, as the bus sat in the station with the driver on a three minute break, the driver's radio was loud enough for all to hear and the local station was playing HIP-HOP/RAP music.
This guy opened his mouth and LOUDLY says....."Nothin but FILTH"! it was the *way* he pronounced the word "filth" that
struck me, sports fans! that word had a tone of absolute objectiveness, like..."Alaska is cold in the winter', or..."ripe tomatoes are red"!

later....off the bus, i pondered what i might say to him if i saw him again and ...yes, he sometimes sits near me in the mall on sunday "pizza day"! and, yes, there he was, the next day.

I TRIED to talk to him: i found out that he goes to a charasmic baptist chuch. he told me..."nothing but filth: isnt it O_B_V_I_O_U_S?! can't you tell by the Tone?"!!

what could i say: he was utterly utterly CORRECT!!

there is, however, a *vast* difference between being "correct' and being "True"!!

here is a fundamentalist christain who tries to be sweet and he is somewhat "innocent" in life, to him, this music is utterly obnoxious, to HIM, rightly so! but i would have to ask him, and i was utterly unable to, due to his religion-set, and also his "young-soulness", to ask him of other things....

.....say: if i read in the paper that someone was stabbed by a knife outside of a bar at 10 PM, last night....do i say that all knives are evil?! "rap" is a kind of music, and it is the "messeger", not the "messege".
thus, what this guy heard was one singer's messege: rap is a wonderfull way for someone to say his say, to one and all....

and the messege?
why if one grew up in the "ghetto" where *every* sidewalksquare has a dried bloodstain on it, and his mother has three other kids, each by a different, not present, father; and his mother Drinks, and her boyfriend does crack and beats both he and her up once per week at least.....why he would Have a Messege that is *not* nice to hear!
we better hear it!! it is our "middle/upper-class-shadow", our collective backsides...how we treat those who are of "the poor"!
maybe they have a right to be angry!!
and IF it is truly that they are of a "criminal young soul mind".....

why oh why is there NOT a cirriculum set up for to Grow properly these Young souls into "old soulness"?

what rap messeges Tell me...is that there are no TRELLESSES or ARBORS or rope-stringings, in our culture, in our educational system, for our garden-of-lives.......for the vines and the roses and the tomato plants to climb up upon, so that their fruits can ripen in the sun! instead the fruits just sit on the wet muddy ground and then ROT!!

how can parents try to get every bit of OFFENDING culture biases out of our schools and then wonder why the kids have no Directions or lifepaths?!

-like that faded bumper sticker that i saw in 1996 Ithaca, new york!
GET THOSE XMAS CAROLS *OUT* OF OUR SCHOOLS!!...in the tone of...."get filth out of our lives"!!!!

so all those rap messeges that he dislikes , are from people who have no "trellisses", And They Are Angry.

this critic cannot even feel how he, being "disabled" and "retarded/autistic", surely gets the 'short end of the social stick" in each and every social encounter!! surely he Knows how that he can never never stand as a social equal, in a goup of creative college grads or business people! he always is on the outside, living on SSI or Disibility pensions of some kind. he comes across as about 15 year old, even if he is about 30!
surely he can feel how many people look down on him and reject him and girls?....forget about a Relationship!

yes, probably he represses all the "bad stuff that people did to him"...if only to ignore him or deny him to thier social circle, over
the years....he having perhaps an IQ of 70 and mildly Autistic to boot!
Radical thought: that it is his OWN anger that he cannot deal with, his own anger, of the 20+ years of being treated as a social outcast, that he shuts up in the closet and "forgets"...thus he might see that anger in a Rapper, and deny it. deny his own anger.
I wonder what RAGE lies within this "sweet mild-mannered" man?!
twenty years or more of a million slights and denials and taunts and teases!!
as a Xian, he cannot permit himself to "let it all out"! oh no......to live the life of denial....that Is The Way!! and everyone in his fundamentialist church is probably right *with* him, in the same mind-set!!

no wonder he Dislikes Rap: he may well dislike himself: BOTH he and the singer are "social outcasts" and "mis-treated" by everyone!!

Sunday, January 12, 2003

a news feed from [[ phoenix-quest · Phoenix Quest Channel Group Member ]]

Date: Fri Jan 10, 2003 11:30 am
Subject: Baltic Weather
[I have also read this in the new york times]

Russia battles big freeze

The winter is harsh even by Russian standards.
[20 degrees below normal in moscow].
The record low temperatures in Russia over the last few days are
continuing to bite as government services struggle to fix breakdowns
at heating facilities.
In order to change all the heating systems in [Yekaterinburg in the
Ural Mountains], we will need 20 years

Some 25,000 people in north-western Russia are still struggling
without heating, as temperatures dropped to -45C and old or overused
heating systems broke down in the extreme conditions.

The Emergency Situations Ministry said more than 1,000 employees were
working on restoring heat to all affected regions, but officials
complained about the lack of cash to carry out the major repair work

There are also reports that the Baltic Sea is beginning to freeze
over in some places, and Finnish scientists say the ice may cover it
entirely for the first time since 1948.

The Gulf of Bothnia and the Gulf of Finland are almost completely
covered in ice, reports say.

"This is going to be a rough winter. Not even the occasional milder
spells will necessarily help," says Ari Seina, head of the ice
service of the Finnish Institute of Marine Research.

In addition to covering an unusually large area, the ice is also five
to 20 centimetres thicker than average.

Some 40 ships have been trapped in the icy Gulf of Finland, near the
city of St Petersburg and ice-breakers have been sent to their

Death toll

In Moscow, three more people died overnight, bringing the death toll
from the severe cold to at least 240 since October.

Another 62 were taken to hospital as a result of exposure to the
cold, reports say.

Health officials said a further 35 people suffering from frostbite
and hypothermia were also receiving hospital treatment.

Most of those who have died or needed medical aid are homeless people
who drank alcohol in excess to keep warm.

Air temperatures in Moscow, which normally hover around -10C, dropped
to -35C before going up on Thursday.

I find this Interesting!!
I see in the sunday times that the area near the canadian border, in North dakota, will not warm up to EVEN ZERO!!
I see signs that this will go on for about five to seven more years....that we all will know What Rules the Northlands!!
--a series of winters that will Test the metlle of everyone and
"global warming" will be seen as "utter folly", put forth by the Liberal people!!

there was a science fiction writer, back in the 50s, who wrote editorials for an old sf mag...."galaxy" or "Astonding sf", perhaps.
I read, at the age of 16, or so, a strange editorial, by him.
he says......[paraphased by me.].....

------that climate *and* civilization-types, go in linked cycles.
repeating, re-occuring, cycles. when it is a "warm period",
there is Liberalism in the air, and all the creative arts flurish and the political cant is "leftist"! read..."democrat".
when the times grow COLD, the political right becomes the norm and the after-the-party-costs must be paid for, the liberialist partyings.
the winter-vibe is..."puritianism...security, order, uprightness, moral majority,
think..."Tuetonic"....as they would say...[the terrible secret
of the tuetonic race!]...."if you do not do it the right way, on time, winter will kill or ruin everything that you own!!"

---no more "southness"!! no more laid back Tolerances.....
Time to let the majority rule and the minorities Conform....
time to get right with God, morals, country and motherland.
make rightious WARS and send off your sons, if not yourself, to fight the Crusade!!
...........this is what he more or less says!!
I would dislike to have to admit that he might be right!
is he right?!
in five to seven years, we will see.....

I love it WARM WARM!!

but i see a heavy pendulum a-swinging towards the Right!!

Saturday, January 11, 2003

quote of the day......

"If i died and went to the spirit lands, my definition of HELL
would be where i would be sent to live in a Fundamentalist heaven"!!

I sort of agree! there is no "change' in "fundamental"! that word "change" or "growth" or whatnot......is not part of that reality, i guess.

Friday, January 10, 2003


in www.newsday.com, there is this article....

Statue of a Hindu God Topples in India
January 9, 2003, 1:28 PM EST

NEW DELHI, India -- A giant statue of a Hindu god toppled this week, killing at least one worker and injuring several others, police said Thursday.

The 108-foot statue of the Hindu god Krishna collapsed Monday in the village of Narsinghpur on the outskirts of the Indian capital, local police officer Ram Kisan said.

Kisan confirmed one death. But the Dainik Jagran, a Hindi newspaper, said at least two workers were crushed under the cement statue and died at the scene. It said at least a dozen others were injured, four of them critically.

About two dozen laborers were working on the statue, which had been under construction for six years, at the time of the accident.

Copyright © 2003, The Associated Press

Well folks, i have read of this event, in the local papers...
I wonder.....??

I wonder what the Synchronetic implications are?!! what symbol does this event foreshadow for India?! Krishna is one of the manifestations of Divinity, in the Hindu religion. it would be as if a 108 foot statue of Jesus were to topple over, during construction, on the outskirts of washington, dc!
seeing that the Hindu national party is getting a ruling majority now...and the ever increasing conflicts, there, between the Muslims and the Hindus.....this does *not* look good, sports fans!!

what does this symbolize, for the Indians? war? a failure of the Hindu way of life? some great ethical failings by the hindus?
[ another paper gave the toppling to be caused by a poorly made foundation. but *could* it have been muslim terrorists?!!!]
some great disaster befalling soon, to India?!
i would hesitate to guess, i would not want to try to know....

surely, as this statue has been under construction for six years and it looks like there was about one more year to go, whatever is portended...may well happen one year from *now*! by january of 2004, something would happen to India, if this is
AN OMEN!! [7 years]

*that* is a good question...are "omens" real?! are events like this a kind of "physical prophecy"?! Carl Jung says of Synchronisms....[a shadow cast into the past, from an event, and anything that corresponds *to* this event, in symbolism, will Correspond.] "events cast shadows before themselves, from the on-coming future"!
but *is* this event just "random noise"...or is it "real", a real omen?

surely, for the very superstisious indian people, they might think so!
we, in this country, may well all just say that this is just an event, like of the mall construction yesterday, here in tallahassee, where a roof collapsed onto a worker, injuring him.

Thursday, January 09, 2003

that new york times article about "milk" got me to thinking.....

yes, there was that mystery about ice cream and me. i noted it years
ago, as i traveled a lot between upstate new york, the finger lakes region, my "hometown....and Tallahassee, florida, the deepest of the deep south. for years and years, i would travel between my cottage on Cayuga lake and tallahassee.
Interlaken, the town, is in the Dairy country and a freezer of 50 quarts of ice cream will be empty, in the grocery store, in three days!
I can eat ice cream till it comes out fo my ears.

all ice cream does, there, is give to me tummy aches and runs and
increases the stockvalue of toilet paper companies!
*everytime* i ate it.
but if i drove to my aunt's and right then ate a huge dish of ice cream, it would digest perfectly!


the CLUE came with a southern friend who had about five mama cats and they all Produced kittens all at once so that he had about 30 to 40 kittens. one day he fed the young kittens milk. milk that was the standard southern "low fat 10%" milk.
all the kittens to the last one had the runs and were sick and about half of them died!! the vet was appalled: "never never feed cats, especially kittens, low fat milk!!!!" they need a milk much higher in butterfat than what is in store-milk! otherewise it is not digestible.

southern milk, due to cow breed, perhaps, or the type of grass, or the way it is made at the bottling plant....has it where the ice cream made from it is lower in fat than Northern milk!

NOW i can eat all the ice cream that i want: i do NOT have "lactose intolerent syndrome". i just buy the RICH CREAMY high quality
ice cream! high in fat fat fat !
[yes that word that is more of a cuss word than "F..K"!]


[interesting how the closest animal in DNA-ness, other than Primates....is the Feline, cat, family....to us human beings.]

moral of the story....here...actually, is this, sports fans.
that one can find the tiny little details and find a clue in them and then find answers to one's questions! gotta Observe and then make connections to this and that....
Especially in diet and if that diet goes agaisnt the Wisdomgrain of established bias...too too bad! gotta find the foods that Work for oneself.

[i read somewhere that the fat intake of Finnish people is about 60% of all their calories. maybe Atkins is on to Something!!]

Wednesday, January 08, 2003

letter to the editor of the new york times......

in the tuesday science section there was this article........

Drink Your Milk: A Refrain for All Ages, Now More Than Ever

he goal of the "Got Milk?" campaign may be to sell more milk, but the main beneficiaries of this advertising effort could well be the bones and health of current and future adults.

As we learn more about the benefits of calcium and the particular importance to a healthy skeleton of calcium during childhood and adolescence, nutrition experts are becoming increasingly alarmed about the failure of most young people to drink enough milk.


here is my reply....

Jane Brody wrote of how many people suffer from lactose intolerence and cannot drink milk.
But I have another experience with milk! I found, over the years, that i could eat ice cream until it "came out of my ears" in the North, in upstate ny. In the South, however, *any* ice cream would give to me
stomach trouble, gas, and the "runs": classic Intolerance symptoms. But i wondered why i could eat ice cream in the north.
i had a friend who gave skim milk to his ten kittens and they all had the runs and died!! The vet told him that cats cannot handle skim milk well as they need a high fat content in their milk!
*that* was my clue: skim milk and "low fat" ice cream!
There is more butterfat in northern ice cream!
Now, i can eat all the southern ice cream i want as long as it is very high in fat! ["rich and creamy"!]
I know, now, that us primates are not made for a low fat diet! Interesting, it was, for me, to read, maybe in this very Times..."the closest genetic DNA species, to humans, other than Primates, is the CAT family"!
You all who have "lactose intelerence", maybe you should try a "regular" high fat milk or ice cream: stay away from skim milk or low-fat milks!!


Tuesday, January 07, 2003


I reflect back upon my Christmas day. That day was perhaps the very nadir, the very pits, of all the xmas days of my 61 years of life!
that day was right from A book, a classic event of America Gone Strange.....

well if ya live alone and all my distant relatives are 1200 miles away and all sisters...mother..fater, are dead,; so what do i do upon waking up on xmas morning?! all the stores are closed, but i can take a nice AM walk. i checked out the 4 mile away Krispy kreme last week and they said that they will be open on Xmas day!
well the temp is about 35 degrees F. and the wind is blowing...all is very very quiet, on my walk. to make a long story short, on the
way there, i found that all my single friends had gone away to their FAMILIES far far off....

the krispy Kreme was closed! oh the sign said that they would open at 6pm.....*that* does not count! I guess on xmas day you GO to your family even if it is a family from hell as XMAS *is* for families and families *rule*!


the snack bar was open...i had a cup of coffee and read the paper. not even a single bus was in the gate. then a "runaway-looking"
late teenage girl came in with her suitcase with a rope tied around it and sat, she did, at the next table. just the two of us sat there, with the one coffeeshop server, behind the counter looking bored, a poor guy who probably had the least time in job-grade so that he was the One to have to come in!
I tried to talk to her, like trying to talk to a dish of jello! or trying to datestamp a cup of coffee....like talking to an amorphoius blob who had nothing to say, no feelings, no thoughts....like of a kind a lady who the man *must* do ALL the talking to and she is *warmed* by what he says, by the *tone*, alone, of the talk: matters not, uttterly *what* he talks about!

what i SHOULD have done was to invite her to come with me to my trailer and we two spend the day together. i have no car. tis a 3 mile 40 degree walk, i cannot affford a taxi.
alas....not to be done.
TOO....she would be, and SHOULD be, i guess, very very hesitant about going home with a strange man from the bus station!!
"rape for sure"......would be her fears.

alas, i will cant the sails to even a deeper level of Imaginations....that if i were to have had her to my trailer,
SEX is just what is called for! two alone man and woman souls communing like some shipwrecked group of men and women did....i once read....when they all got out of the lifeboats onto this small island, they all had constant sex with each other, for hours and hours...

to affirm to each other, the Touching of soul to soul, the Bonding, in the Face of utter Aloneness!

I am impotent. And Know too too much, in Spirit ways....
but i trembled in the Face of what someone said...."that there are women who are SO lonely and alone that the only way that they
CAN be touched is by a good RAPE!"
I do not say that, above...please do not "flame me"....this comment, by someone i once read/heard....just shows to me just how alonely
some people are!

I once had this experience. i just got off the bus in san francisco 1967. discharged from the air force. got a room for a week in the Ymca, then it was about 7 pm on a dark november day so i went across the street to a cafe and ordered my very very first civilian meal *as* a civlilian....clam chowder soup. i wanted to be alone to savor my first meal and i chose clam chowder as this WAS san francisco! i sat in a sea of empty tables. i ordered; it soon came, a steaming bowl of chowder. i salted and peppered and stirred. as i looked up to begin to eat, i saw this 60 year old man coming over to my table withcoffecup in hand and he sat down immediately
and instantly he looked deeply deeply into my eyes and he said..


---he immediately then began to tell me his life sory, demanding that i pay utter attention....in a real sense, folks, i did NOT eat that soup: HE did! i eventually broke away...he could have gone on for hours and hours, and, funny, he did not tell me any summerizations or insights about his life, he just spewed it out in litteral detail, like of a video tape or film! He had NO ability to think about his life, as his life-road approaches the Tombstone...No ability to figure anything out or to attach a meaning to his life, so i guess other people are asked to do that FOR him!
....later, after a few days at the "Y", i discovered that this whole
ten square-plus blocks were where the family-less old people retired too, each city block had DOZENS of cafes where there was an old person at *each* table with coffee cup, nursing that
coffee cup for
hours and hours and hours, all night long



so i said nothing more to this girl and finished my coffee and walked out.

utterly judged by society for being Single and alone!

---good thing that i do not hold the values of our contemprary cultures *as* self-defining!!

Monday, January 06, 2003

here is a saying that i like!

If reincarnation be True, then the earth that you leave to your great-grandchildren, could just be to you!

Friday, January 03, 2003


i was surfing the web this morning and i came across something which reminded me of a "cult' New Japan Religion. the group is called
"mahikari". it is one of the Shinto-based groups formed within the last 20 years, in japan, spreading to all countries....some liken it to a cult with all the "rosh-nesh Antelope"
infered overtones!
i went to check to see if they were Still There!
they were.
they are. they have their own homepage too....
looks like an interesting group, to me!

*this* reminded me of a dream!! a dream i had when i lived in Gainesville next to a park and every tuesday the Society for Creative Anacronisms would practice there. i got to know a couple of them, the members, a bit.
THEN, one night, i had a dream about the SCA!
it was a simple dream. i stood on a hilltop and looked far far off into the distance and i could see way way up in the sky, another hilltop, a hilltop that had its bottom of the cliff obscured by clouds: meaning...this other hilltop is in the Spirit world. Then there was a man standing next to me and he began to tell me about the Land that is on the hill pleateu. He said that this place is where the people who belonged to the SCA on earth went to live after they died. THEN...he told me something amazing! he said that the SCA was really a kind of FRONT, a kind of "recuiting office" here on earth. when people joined, they now belonged to a *very* large social organization, most of which resided in the Spirit world! up there, there was NONE of the stuff of "SCA", he said...no swords and medievil acts. what the earthly stuff was, about the SCA, was to get a great social sense into the menbers as they interacted with each other so DEEPLY, in their trainings.....thus the "upper" SCA is where everyone has deep deep intense interactions with everyone else, near like of one organism!
...interesting. I had the feeling, upon awakening, that this spirit society "incarnated" often, to recruit new members and when it did, there would be little resemblence between the "lives"! as IF the past life was a Catholic order, and before that, a roman legion army corp!

I then had a kind of "imaginative " vision: that of a street lined with offices, storefronts, that are recruiting offices for *each* and every cult and Order out there. one story buildings. but aha! the buildings are from two to seven stories in height, the upper floors are Invisible to our earthly eyes, so that all anyone can see is just one floor! and when ya enter, you can walk out anytime you want to....but you can never never, ever, LEAVE!!

And i mean every cult and sect...the Scientologists...the Mahikari...the 1st baptist church....and even the Greenpeace "movement"! all of them have a spirit counterpart that is the *real*
do i criticize?
I can see that for each sect/cult/order that is touched, here on earth, is a Bond forged forever.....and that ticket is good for entering their Temple and Lands, in heaven.

take the "rosh nesh" order. maybe many of them were in that group from other lives; they Incarnate here and get a few new members.
then the "circus leaves town".....when the ex-members die, they Come Home. back to the great Lands and realms that is of this Order.
Sathya sai baba talks about his afterdeath world that all his devotees will go after they die!

more than interesting!....

naturally this will hold for secular groups too. the left and the right and all that. even for "caving clubs' and the "american Society of African Violet growers", or the "cat fancy" clubs!

the streets of life are lined with shoulder to shoulder offices in storefronts that are recruiting offices for heavenly Societies.
be aware joining is for keeps, or...maybe for a *very* very long time!


as my computer is still in the shop during the Holiday that will not end, and will be there until the end of january i fear, i bought a used Playstaion 1. I got PERSONA 2...ETERNAL PUNISHMENT, a japanese rpg anime game.
...I soon discovered that this here game is *not* your standard "cute-sy" japanese rpg! a 25 year old reporter goes to a Tokyo
high school to intervue high school kids over a Occult-driven murder.
She befriends a group of kids and soon they all are constantly attacked by demons form all over the world and from all religions!
from ghosts who are earthbound souls in the school...to high level minions of satan....
But in this game one can befriend these demons, any and all of them, and even enter into CONTRACTS with them!!

but this game purchase was after, by a few days, a dream i had.

in THIS dream i went astral traveling, traveling to out of body in the spirit worlds. only in this floating across the lands, i went down...down...down...down to what seemed to be a plane that is below the level of the earthplane. there were many encounters with many spirits dimly remembered. too too bad that i cannot remember who and what, in my astral dreams i do and talk and vist....but i awake with only the dim memories.
this is *not* so much a matter of my not being "trained" to recall the memories, i feel that this is a problem of the worlds that i go to being so so so utterly different from my "here", that nothing can be grasped and brought back to my wakingness. and if it is...it comes across dimly and thus open for mis-interpetations!
My dream was of that: utterly different "physical laws", very very different sceneries, from anything here on earth.

-------- from my own experiences on the astral planes....IF i were to say that there are 100 planes, you, reader, might suppose that the earthplane would be "number 1". NO!! the entrance to the spirit worlds, from the earth, is somewheres, maybe, about at level 30! There are levels and levels that are below the level of the earth: most people when they die go to level 32....35...or perhaps....level 40. --------------

anyways...i went down to a level where the free-ranging spirits were trying to fend off what they called Demons.
eventually the group of attacking demons came charging into their
"place" and took them all prisoner, including me who was amongst them. eventually i was brought before one of the chiefs of these "demons" this personage *looked* a bit human, but here is a near-naked spirit who looked quite like some "classical" demonage, as if the human race descended from BULLS: imagine a human bull, standing upright with a somewhat human head and face!

but then i had a kind of grace, having a body up on earth; i could leave and come back to the earthplane and eventually i did so.

these Entities are REAL. all of them. the hellplanes exist with all your "favorites", in residence. real entities where the Racial mythologies reflect
what is really there. most people will have NO need to ever ever
see these worlds or the inhabitants who live there.

I wonder what they all do for "fun and games' there?!
and yes, one could indeed make a contract with some of them, i would suppose. just like in the game, above.
what kind of life, here, would one have, with a Demon for a friend, in the spiritworlds?!!!

Thursday, January 02, 2003

well tis new years, the day after.

i wish to all a good new year.

on the day BEFORE new years, the last day of the year, i left my coffee shop and walked out onto the 7 am street, to see a

interesting, these Important signs and omens! the event in and of itself is only a ohysical event and for most people they are *just* that! not for me though!!

there was something about this rainbow, something that only i know about it....it was a messege of a sort a messege that
would only mean something to me....

i am 61 years old and i will not get to live here on earth beyond this age-year: *that* is the messege between the lines....but I have been shown this often before in other ways.
june 28....i turn 62!!
since i dreamvisioned meeting the Guru where i was told..."In one year you will begin your spirit life", on may 13th of 2002, there is NOT much time left!!

so what shall i do with this time?

As i have said the other day, in my journals....i am image orientated and words do not really mean anything unless i can see the image that they refer to. thus i can only IMAGINE heaven as to having scenes that i have seen before, here i earth: it BEHOOVES me, then, to fill my brain with fantasy images from books and computer games, images not of this earth so to prepare me.

that is my reasoning.

so stay tuned, sports fans, as i face my next six months....there oughta be some *interesting* stuff here, in my journals....

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