Sunday, December 30, 2012

why are many seniors so drepressed/angry?!

why are many seniors so drepressed/angry?!
good morning
just before i take my sunday walk, i say hello and Report my dream. it IS sunday and you know what dream *this* means?!
[i have this here dream nearly every Sunday morning!]
[I live in a senior home of about 130 people.]
the dream begins as i am filling out endless forms for to get health insurance.
[seniors over 65 have to fill out several sections of a medicare package of gov. medical help.]
endless seeing ladies behind desks to fill out forums.
then to the Meat of the dream. an endless traveling on a road that it is where i have very little money and am facing running out before the Journey ends! then i will be homeless and have to sleep on the ground or in a box or in a homeless shelter. it is known that my trip is longer than i have money for.
---end of dream.
the usual every-sunday dream, 

  here on what is 'supposed" to be the quietest time of the week, the most "spiritual" morning conditions for a good dream, i get this dream.
of *course* for most seniors, such a peaceful quiet morning IS the time for such dreams as now they can think and ponder.
---no husband or wife anymore. is going down.
...I am Alone and *lonely*.
...everything that i once loved is going away.
...crime is getting worse by the day, how long before gangs barge in *here* to rob and rape me?! is not paying much attention to seniors.
....cost of living goes up by the day and my income is fixed.
....all my few friends are now in the nursing home.
....they are cheapening everything so that anything is now a shadow of itself.
....I failed to do my childhood dreams.
....i cannot see well anymore.
...i cannot hear well anymore.
...i cannot walk well anymore.
...i cannot taste foods well anymore.
..i have diabetes...i have high blood pressure/heart conditions.
...half of my time is spent going to doctors.
....most of the people around me are too gossupy. relatives have abandoned me.
....i have incontinence and stink up every single chair i sit in.
....i cannot understand a thing about the modern age.
....i only get junk mail, now.
...I am Getting Old.
...I am going to die soon and I Am Afraid.
its almost,  like....." those who are not like this, in feelings, are either in denial or so thick in the head that They Just Do Not Know!"!!
so this here Freestone lies there in bed, soaking up all of these vibes, vibes that saturate the very air.  the quieter the morning, the more these seniors tend to begin to think about their lives.
there is, of course, a Way Out, but tis the last thing that anything of education has taught them. and they would not belive it anyways as the physical world is what they want.
the spiritual life, for most, is a varient of Fundamentalist christianity!
[a true story]
freestone: i see that homeless bag lady sitting at the bus bench.
"oh, do you know that there is a good place for seniors to live, Goergia belle?".
lady: " l *lived* there once and i hated it"!
lady: first off, they put me on the second floor and
[with a HUGE angry staccato voice like of a machine gun spitting out bullets!
[she did not mean on the bed on the first floor.
she did not mean on a mattress lying on the floor.
she meant she must sleep *on the ground*!!]
her need for the contact with terra firma, is *ABSOLUTE*!!
"and secondly, there was too too too many people there"!!
she was *angry*. angry all of the time.
angry that society was not handing her the way she wanted.
angry that she got mucked up.
angry at God for putting her here.
angry at life.
she might see life as "everything is minus 40 degrees such that her ZERO of her own life is far far warmer than anything out there that would affect her.
what hope for her?
how could you thaw her out?
[bitter depressed old men and women are mostly made through life, and the process can begin even in childhood.]

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