Monday, September 28, 2009

do you find yourself Drawn TO the offending smell?!

hi all.

do you find yourself Drawn TO the offending smell?!

my MCS sister told me over and over, as I lived with her for years, about if she were to enter a
new supermarket, she would ALWAYS walk down the isle that has the clothes detergents, the *most* irritating substance, to her, in the store!
Over and over: she got mad at this.

I was reminded today of this when I tried to "carefully" walk by some roofing company's
hot tar stove, across the street. But! Directly across this street was a lady that I knew; we talked for over 15 minutes as I breathed in this tar stink full time, as *IF* all of this coincidence was Planned! As if I were, SHOULD just walk by this tar stove one foot away, lean over it, inhale deeply this smoke, then do this for an hour,




I once read, [cannot find it on google, though] that researchers found out that people will
"response to the stimulus "! what this means is that when a stimulus happens to someone, he turns TO it. The brain craves stimulus, and any stimulus is better than no stimulus, so that one unconsciously will embrace this thing!!

I wonder how many of you all, who read this, find this to be so?! do you find that it is as if these fumes and smells seek you out? as if maybe life is going to force the odor down your throat! as if someone will spray the bugs with a can of spray and aim it AT your nose, without even a clue as to why they do that?!

my interpretation of those psychological words about "stimulus, and yes, i see this all of the time with me, that I will "embrace" anything that i do not like, whether smells, food, weather, etc!

the stimulus engages the brain so that the brain becomes more aware of this, say, smell, then
like of a bit of rock tipping into a star's black hole, or a bicycle going into a road rut and taking that route instead of the intended direction, I would "turn" and walk to wards this smell. all unconsciously, maybe. I would stuff the offending substance up my nose, if "i could"!!

----to be alert and aware always of your self and the surroundings, as my saying is..."those who do not transcend the Archetypes, BECOME them!" Be more "alert" than of the middle lower brain. Then you can Choose to avoid the stimulus that will "snare" you to drag you into this.

I once saw this in action, verbally!!

I attended Florida state university, in the 60s, here in Tallahassee, Florida, the heart of the deep south. I listened to a group of Northern professors talk about how they hated the south.
One man said, "I hate the south SO much that I realize that I never ever can leave the south"!!


he has Responded to the stimulus, now he NEEDS the stimulus as it defines him! He could actually "force" a southern person, in his presence, to say some redneck thing, just to anger him! he needs this anger. thus he will never leave to move back north.


Friday, September 25, 2009

thinking in images

I once had a seat number on a long distance train. for 150 miles. my seatmate, who was already on the train, was a college PHD professor of Humanities for an elite woman's university in a huge Northern city. only the smartest girls go there.
I said "hello", then he talked a bit. there was nothing more that i could say! his IQ might have been 140 and he talked so so cerebrally
and intellectually, he could drop ten names of movies and the actors and the producers, before I could even think of one movie! we two did not exchange one more word for the whole trip: he might as well have come from an alien planet, and in a way he did as he thought in words and i thought only in images!

are you a Miner's canary?

This is a forum and social network for people with Multiple Chemical Sensitivity. A nice forum.

I seem to be sensitive to about everything. Often in a nice way, but often not!

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

the stink did not go away!


years ago I bought one of those hippie india bedspreads for my bed or wall. so pretty to look at. but the aniline dye stunk SO bad, in my small lakeside cottage room, that i washed it twice uptown in the laundrymat.
did no good. I hung it on the line for a week.
did no good.
then I had a Bright Idea, sink this thing on the shoreline about three feet out where the two foot waves, from the 60 mile long lake could do the deep surging action upon this spread. I keep it there for two weeks!

did no good!

I hung it again for two weeks.

did no good.

by now summer was over and i prepared to take it up the hill to pitich into the trash. on the trail up, i saw a large glacer rock and there i spread it for the winter to caress. by now it was october, in upstate new york, winter and the fall rains come early then snow falls, even down by the lake they get 40 to 90 inches a year.

next year, about middle of may, i came down the trail, forgotten all about this spread.
"funny" i told myself, "what was that awful STINK"?!!
off about 90 feet was that rock and by now the rock was poking through this rotting fabric.

did no good!

this Thing was just as Aniline stinky as the day i bought it!!

---and to think that some hippies that i knew lined their all four walls and their beds with these spreads!!


Ostia, in Second life

the Ostia section of the Roma world, in the sim, Second Life.

Astonishing, this! One can join the roman legion, in this world, and go to monthly trasining sessions with other legionares, ON LINE!

lets see, now; I read once that second life has about 12,000 worlds, one person wrote that in four years he has yet to see all of this !

"Second life" ROMA

the second life world called "roma".

the slurl will only take you to the entrance, but this view is an area in the world. A recreation of old rome.

Friday, September 18, 2009

I am bigger than bug spray!

"Looks like some vandelism again in the Old City Cemetery. "
---from readerwalker on his flickr page.

there was a senior luncheon presentation today at the St Johns Episcopal church, a presentation about "hospice care", from one

of Hospice's people.

She says, Everyone here is going to die sooner or later, have you faced this yet and you had better try in advance to "have a good death"!

So maybe Frat guys or teens did this. I have seen events like of this over and over, here in Tallahassee, through the years.

If you laugh at Mr death, maybe you win!

like of that friend of mine who worked in the North Carolina mountains in a tomato packing plant. A tomato, one of them, had a massive amount of white bug spray on it and my friend told the guy next to him about it. Then this here person reached over and picked up this tomato and smushed it into his mouth piratically swallowing it whole, he says LOUDLY,


a dream last night

I had yet another interesting astral experience last night, version number 43. in this often repeating dream, i can see how one could interpret these "psychologically"! but would be very wrong to do so.

so here I am moving along a road in a truck.

[out of body, the dream 'enabling" imagery provides the truck!]

I stop and get out to walk along a sidewalk about 400 feet to a building, in it is only a empty room, i leave. I walkbackwards but oh where is the sidewalk?! Then I realize that while the building is still there, the whole scenery has changed behind my back! I walk a bit further only to see that the road that I came in on, has now entering a tunnel, a tunnel that was not there when I came here! Then i turned around only to see that the scenery that I passed, coming back from the building, has changed yet *again*! Now there are mountains off in the distance.

I look in vain, of course, for my truck, no wheres to be found, of course, as this image also vanished!

The further that I try to orient myself, the more the scenery seems to change! the building, itself, is now gone!

Now, I basically am standing in a field, no road at all, under a sky, trees and hills all around, a dirt road nearby!

Talk about the instability of the astral planes! One could cross over to many worlds, while just standing in one spot, every single change of thought could change the apparent scenery!

But each scenery is "real"; it is the Dreamer that moves!! Teleports from one place to another, tis a bit "hard" on the go self, as this sort of reality is not that of this earth world!!

my Second Life Avatar.

my Second Life Avatar., originally uploaded by freestone.

my Second Life Avatar.
I redid my second life avatar. I wanted a "thinner" personage, one reason for the change is that I have read that "griefers", the bullies of Second Life, all are seen by players as being "fat", so that many players are leery of any fatter avatar they see wandering about!

So this is "it" for a while, few prims, simple.

I am standing in the IMMERSIVA sim, by Bryn Oh.

I recommend for anyone to see the videos on bliptv, at that main page of hers, the Location of Immersiva can be found by searching the Second Life search engine.

Uploaded by freestone on 18 Sep 09, 9.14AM EDT.

angry sky

angry sky, originally uploaded by freestone.

angry sky
Near sunset, look eastwards, here in Tallahassee, flodia, usa.

The view is nice from the 5th floor landing.

A study of clouds getting ready to rain.

Uploaded by freestone on 18 Sep 09, 9.02AM EDT.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

another homeless man!

today from the bus window I saw yet the same homeless man.   He wore a faded green suit jacket, I have seen Him now for about three months and all of this time he wears only this jacket, no matter if the temp is 95 degrees.
today, from the passing bus window, i saw him rummaging through the trash can, like of a few days ago, he rummaged through several to find a cigarette butt.
    He came into Borders a few days ago, at the coffee shop area, walked right in and then came over to sit down with me, as "they" usually do, the homeless.  I tried to talk to him, but the schizophrenia, i guess prevented him.  He rolled his fingers in a *certain* way to indicate that he needed  money for a smoke, I gave to him a dollar and he RAN out and over to the CVS to buy some cigarettes.

I got to thinking about him, a bit.  I have heard him shake his fists at the drivers on the street, I have seen him walk around angry and dejected.

How could I Pet this Porcupine?   be all too too easy for anyone, for me too, to judge him badly.  but suppose that his childhood was a childhood from hell and no other relatives were around.  compared to his childhood, right now he is in "heaven", free from all of the crap!
   then at age 22, his schizophrenia kicks in!

Yes, I have wondered maybe someone could take him in as "their child" an Raise him, but probably this would utterly not work at ALL, as then he would not be Free!

In my senior home, today, I talked to several people about a Bag Lady, from new York city, who I once saw at a bus stop with her bags and I told her about the senior home and then she told me that she HATED it there!  "too too far off of the ground" she says.  She then told me that she lived on the 2nd floor.  "I GOT to have my feet on the ground, sleep ON the ground", she barks to me!  Then she told me that also she hated it there because there were too too many people there.  [150 in the building]
The several people recalled this lady.   Someone told me that she and most of the other homeless people CHOOSE to be homeless this way as then they are Free!
no one tells them what to do, believe in;  no social games to play, no child support or no taxes and headaches over "relatives", etc...etc.

[funny....the only freedom that I can find, in life, is when I, in free will, *commit* to something, the very act of free choice then self sealingly removes the freedom, if one *must* be free, then that is Bondage to this freedom!]

Thus any "help" is rejected out of hand as "help" = someone to tell you how to live, what to do, what to believe!


Sunday, September 13, 2009

you can see forever

you can see forever, originally uploaded by freestone.

you can see forever
From the 5th floor landing, tis looks that I can nearly see forever.
Off in the far distance, is central florida.
Tallahassee, florida, usa.

Tallahassee has lots of clouds, the city ought to, with 60 inches of rain per year!

about 6pm, only about 88 degrees.

Uploaded by freestone on 13 Sep 09, 6.58PM EDT.

a nice cloud

a nice cloud, originally uploaded by freestone.

a nice cloud
a nice cloud seen from the 5th floor landing, looking eastwards. Tallahassee. florida.usa

patterns and shapes

Uploaded by freestone on 13 Sep 09, 6.59PM EDT.

Friday, September 11, 2009

sometimes I am glad to have mutiple chemical sensitivities!

Sometimes I am glad to have MCS!!Posted by freestone Wilson on September 11, 2009 at 8:33am in MCS


Hi all.

Sometimes I am actually glad that I have MCS!!

An example that happened just the other day. Here in my senior Home for Independent Living, they have two church services on Sunday. I like the minister, though he is a bit "Fundamentalist" for my tastes. And I do not really like to sit, as I have ADD too!
But I sense an "expectation' from everyone, including the minister, that I "must" come!
well I tried, last Sunday evening. I came in late, just to hear the middle of his sermon.
He was preaching that essentially gay people are on the sin path and that there is NO exception to this, the Bible is explicit in this, he says.
About then, the massive perfume overkill was "really" getting to me. I stood up, in front of everyone, coughing and hacking up flem, in front of everyone, and I left!

Church is a toxic substance for me in MORE ways than one!!

a very good Excuse never ever to go.

I later told this minister about the year that i lived in my Interlaken, NY, hometown, in the 90s.
I could stand to attend the Reformed church in the summer with all of the windows open, but today was now fall and cool, so the closed window time begins.
my wonderful Aunt is the choir director and organist, and by the time I began to react to the fumes, she was about to perform a solo organ piece. As she played this ethereal, quiet, solo, I began to cough in earnest. And louder and louder. I was sitting up near the front of the church, the only way out was for me to run, coughing like mad at full full volume, past my aunt, who was still playing, and then past everyone in the church and out the door near the pulpit and then slamming it shut and then running down the stairs, my size 12 boots were giving "drum action" to her solo, all 40 steps at 90 decibels and out the basement door slamming it hard!

I know the terrible secret, people, of why church people perfume themselves so much.
Of course they would be aware of body odors, sitting so close to each other, which brings up what one MUST not do in church as "bad smell" = "impure" and one must approach the Lord in worship with a pure heart and body!
to Purify oneself before the lord: spray it on *real* good!!

So now I have a good excuse for not attending ever the church, here, in my senior home.

why down the street, the st John's Episcopal church, why there they swing CENSORS up and down the isles before service begins: smudge pots of incense, i would last .004 seconds before I ran out!!

yes, some people wear so so much perfume that if perfume were a SOUND, as they walk into a cafe, the windows would shatter out wards, like as if a bomb were to have gone off!!

Wednesday, September 09, 2009

I am in second life sitting in the sphere getting alchemical rejuvination

I am in second life sitting in the sphere getting alchemical rejuvination.

Syncretia must be one of those amazing sl places, i just arrived.

rising above the prediction and prophecy forum negativity!

yes, rising above the prediction and prophecy Negativity!

I was at the public library the other day, i needed to print something out, and I looked at the latest predictions and prophecies on several of my favorite forums.
I left that library a bit depressed and a bit irked. As I usually do to some extant, I cannot help it as I have a very vivid Imagination.

Oh, there are the very best forums, very good people there. I choose my forums carefully. There are quite a few predictions made, on these forums, from a psychic and an economic point of view.

As I walked away from the Library, I recall a favorite magazine from the 50s childhood. READERS DIGEST. Over the years they have had very helpful articles about personal security, health issues to be aware of, economic suggestions for hard times, etc,etc: very helpful articles but these articles tended to make me MORE scared and Afraid, afraid of life, as now I know 46 ways that my home could be invaded, 32 ways the garage can scam my car repair, 78 ways that i can get heart attacks if only I eat right and there are 99 suggestions for *that*, on how to eat, every so often the issue that tells me to eat only margarine, is over ridden by a later issue that tells me that real butter is better for me!

I live at a senior Home for Independent living. Here there is a man
who is a "candy grabber", no one puts out candy on the desk anymore as when he finds the bowel, he takes ALL the candy! He also has One Answer for everything. "right and wrong" are one pixel apart in "absoluteness"!!
Fixated, opinionated, and he tells us all, "I laugh at cholesterol and diabetes, all my tests come back normal.
Only Thing is....he is NINETY YEARS OLD! He has seen many a younger senior Go Down at age 62 or 65, people who think right and eat right!!
[in my 1998 hometown, Interlaken, NY, I saw a man who walked four miles a day and no fat on his body, die suddenly at age 67, of his 4th heart attack, the man across the street weighed about 240 and worked as a plumber all of his life, never reading about what to eat, he probably ate *everything* bad for him: he shovels snow and mows his lawn, at age 86.]

there was one post, yesterday, where this beloved [there on the forums]
and respected by all, predictor, wrote that essentially our Depression that we all are slightly coming out of is going to, next year, dive down SO much that the money will be worth nothing and that everyone will be unemployed and that only the fat will survive unless one becomes, really, a "survivalist"!

I look at all of these gloom and doom posts, shuddering slightly.

I, over the years, have been blessed with over a hundred dreams where guides and angels take me to experience places in the afterlife worlds.
For me, life after death is a "Know", not a "believe"!

I apply my knowledge to these gloomers.
Each and every one of us will die of Death some day, some sooner, some later. To quite a point: I would suggest to live "quality over Quantity"!
so what if Yellowstone erupts and kills me! so what if all economic activity zeros out so that all cities erupt in riots and I live on a cardboard sheet somewheres in the woods!
I understand *THIS*: that I am here to hoe my garden of life and then at the end of the Day, I will turn all of my tools back into the construction shack, and then leave, never to come back until my next incarnation!
"loaners". everything is a loaner, what counts for all is *how* I use the Tool.

end times?
Probably if there is an end times, only those who are spirit-given to be Survivors, should prepare in advance for this: you each probably Know who you are!
the rest of us? we each have our soul growth things to do. if we were to "obsess" on end times and thus be Afraid, our lessons will stop, as we go into "survivalist contractions"! stop those piano lessons! read Mother Earth magazine, not "Atlantic"!
[we came here to live our soul given lives, not to "survive" as most of us have been through that, over and over and over, during our past lives, as in "Africa today"!]
there. some of my ramblings about my reading of disturbing news. of *course* i will continue to read these forum posts, I am interested in the
future! But i must not let the Fear carry me away!


Tuesday, September 08, 2009

counseling the new arrivees in heaven!

my dream.

as usual i cannot recall the words too too much, a shame probably, but i would have Had to have a tape recorder with me in the astral.

i was in the astral. in heaven, in fact. I was in a room in a large large lakeside cottage, one that looked a bit like of the one that my parents had, when i was 10 to 18 and for two months of each summer we all lived there by the lake.
the main room had about 5 to 10 people in it, all were newcomers to heaven, just arrived from earth. my role seemed to be a "boy scout leader' to these mostly men. I sense that i was there to tell them about what heaven is like and what they each could expect as they went on wards.

I can recall my feelings more than the words, of this hour or so event.
the feelings that seemed to hang in the air, were a mixture of happiness, joy, relief, calm peacefulness, safeness.
I recall someone asking me about what the heaven places looked like and i replied to tell him that any one town or settlement had the appearance of the collective feelings of its inhabitants! even the weather, i told them, reflected everyone's state of feelings.
[the outer reflects completely the inner life]
[better have a good "inside" or else that repressed negativity will be out there for all to see and to feel!]

When this dream was over and I awoke, the Meaning of this dream, for me, was yet again the Knowing that heaven is real. there is an afterlife and I have been there. the feelings of this "home" counseling center were not like of those places here in the cities. Only good feelings were here and
everyone was very happy and excited to be truly alive and they looked forward to be going out into the greater heaven worlds!

Sunday, September 06, 2009

setting sun shines patterns

setting sun shines patterns, originally uploaded by freestone.

setting sun shines patterns

Looking out of the 5th floor landing, I note this sunset pattern, a pattern where a cloud cuts off part of the sun's rays.
Tallahassee, florida, usa

Uploaded by freestone on 6 Sep 09, 6.32PM EDT.

patterns in the tree

patterns in the tree, originally uploaded by freestone.

patterns in the tree

This tree. There are all kinds of patterns on the trunk.

Just a tree taken near dusk, here in Tallahassee, florida, usa.

Uploaded by freestone on 6 Sep 09, 6.32PM EDT.

Thursday, September 03, 2009

the Pie. why the generation gap!

the other day, it was Bingo night, here at my senior residence. there is a lady who gets day old pies from the store, their giveaways, and then she cuts the pies up and serves them during the break time at half game over.
she, months ago, appreciated that I come in at halftime and serve the cut pies that she has made up, in the kitchen, before the games begin.
So the other night i came in and she had several pies cut and one of them was a RARE pie seldom seen, Cream of Mango pie. she had cut it into only four huge huge sections, serving four people. I knew that this pie was so so rare that why not cut the sections yet again to give 8 sections so that more people could appreciate the pie. I did so, in seconds after serving all 8 sections were gone.
now she is angry at me for doing this doubling of the sections, as she thinks that the several left over unchosen regular pie slices will go to waste! she then in a huff tells us that she will quit serving all the halftime snacks altogether!
I think now that i will not come anymore to serve either, as I would have to do ALL the work, from now on.
Oh this is such a simple thing, but it illuminates, to me, the utter utter differences between the generations, the "great depression WW II people" and the Babyboomers of this generation.
They, the great depression people, have it where to SAVE something, is far far more important than using it as if something were saved, it might be there for tomorrow, if no more new items come in. Better to have it rot, if not used. they all might say, too, "you can never have too much insurance"!
the babyboomers might say that things should be shared, to be used. live for today and "if you do not buy it now, today, it will not be there tomorrow, as in a week the store might bring in the new next replacement"! This generation would enjoy sharing a good rare pie, either with each other, or hogging it for themselves, and not to save it for a tomorrow that might not come.

as in the LIBRARIANS Great Divide over "books" and helping the customers: "Protect the books" or "serve the people"!

I felt, with that pie, that I wanted to make the most people that i could, happy. she felt that one should not waste anything.

In a sense I should have asked her if i could have divided up that pie my way, but she was not around, then. But if i did that, i would have to also ask her from now on in every little tiny act, what she would want of me to do! If I were to do it MY way, there is that difference and she probably will not agree.
there is no "synthesis" here: I will not back down, as there is more to this than meets the eye. Probably that mango pie might be the last break snack that they ever eat, unless they find someone else to do it for them all, at Bingo night!


Wednesday, September 02, 2009

place a "tweet this" after each post!

oh, a small Discovery!

I now have placed a link under each post where I can tweet to twitter

Add "Tweet This" Links to your Blog PostsTwitter is an excellent service for syndicating blog posts and useful or interesting articles. Help your blog readers share their favourite posts on Twitter by providing a "Tweet This" link for each of your blog posts.Here are three different ways you could do this:
[the site page tells you how to do this, some basic template editing is required.]