Wednesday, June 25, 2008

is it lung cancer?

hi all.

last week, around the 15Th of June, I went to the veteran's clinic to see why my flu had not gone away. my flu's usually go to pneumonia or bronchitis, my lung damage is so that one forth of a lung is gone, this is why I am a "disabled non-serviced-connected vet!
they took an X-ray, and they found a "mass in my lower right lung"!


so yesterday i was taken 90 miles to have an MRI at the vet hospital. they got to do this for every unidentified mass, could be cancer! maybe it is pneumonia. or nothing.
but if cancer, I have a 14% chance of being alive in five years!! after age 65 an operation is supposed to be risky. I am 67. chemo is supposed to work with only 20-30% of the types of lung cancers.

I will not know for maybe weeks. if cancer and they operate, I might be in the hospital for a month. if cancer is found in my brain and or liver or somewheres else, I could even be sent to a special vet hospital maybe 800 miles away, for keeps, just let my Georgia belle senior apts toss out all of my stuff.

or maybe nothing, only pneumonia.

I have had this *distinct* feeling, people, all of my life: that the end times and my death are/will be the same thing! that is....that I incarnated *to* die around the end times, when civilization comes apart, and if the end times are delayed, so is my death!
I know of at least TWO distinct times when I was told that i would die within a year, with many many many death preparation dreams, the rest of that year, then Spirit told me that my life was extended. 1998. 2003/4.

I better live, for *your* sakes, i guess; as if i die and nothing has happened yet in the end times department, it will, nearly instantaneously too!! earthquakes, volcanoes, ?????? !
as...I seemed to have my life set up where my death = end times beginning.
[got to see the human race's road walked, to the very end, i guess.]

I will, i hope, post more on this blog and the parallel xanga blog, in the weeks, and hopefully, months and years to come.



Originally uploaded by freestone
a direct hit, a lightning strike is hidden in the thundershower video, taken from my 5th floor window, summer of 2007.

tallahassee, florida, usa

Uploaded by freestone on 22 Apr 08, 10.17AM EDT.