Tuesday, July 26, 2005


I think that I finally got to get at the Root of a series of dreams that I have been having over the last few years. This culminated in the latest of this series, last night.
The dream was like all of the rest of them: "I am living somewheres and I am nearly out of money and I only have a hundred or so dollars in my bank account so that I really *really* need to find a job and there are no jobs apparent!"

This last night's one had an extra twist to it!
---not only was I nearly out of money, but I had found a part time job that was "not enough" to pay for my living, and when I left this janitor job, I walked, or tried to, walked the road back to where I lived.
The Problem was that I was so so so tired that I could hardly move! *Really* tired. Like as if lifting a pencil was like lifting an anvil!

these dreams began about two or three years ago. Back about then, they would only occur about once per two months. Today, this year, it seems that these dreams
occur about every week, or even more often, of late!

always on the same theme. I move to a city and am out of money. I move back to my childhood home and cannot find work and am nearly out of money. Over and over, with small variants.

A few days ago, after one such dream, I walked to my morning coffee shop, sort of "shaking my head"! I have a government social security check and a disability pension, even if one were to "stop", there would be the other. The Pension is such that any part time job, that I took, is deducted from the pension, thus I have not worked for years.
I assumed, on my walk to the coffee, that as I had not worked for ten years, my subconscious mind detects that I am not working, thus no income.

One of the Meanings of a repeating dream is that the real meaning has yet to be gotten at, yet to be dealt with; so far no insight has dissipated these dreams.

well, about three days ago, I think that I have found the Mother Generator that generates all of these dreams!! A dream, of course!

here it is.
I fly through the air, coming from somewheres. I am in the astral worlds, out of body and I have been doing something in one of the lower spirit worlds, the thing done, I cannot now recall. I began, apparently, to lower towards the earthplane, to re-enter my body and then to wake up. However, just before this I "autoscopted".
That is...I seemed to leap away from my own body to look at it from a distance, what I saw was a tube of light, a tunnel of light, and my head, with part of my upper body, floating downwards to a hole, which is my body on the bed.
I saw something peculiar, though. At the top of my head was a band of solid green. The upper one to three inches of my head seemed to be painted green!

shade of green is the same shade of green that I see in my computer games where in these role playing games that I play, where there is a "life bar" at the right of my character, and this bar is colored that green color. If this life bar reaches "zero", I die. Every time a monster hits me, I lose some life.]

Then as I noted this bar of green, I heard a woman's voice speak. She spoke in utterly unemotional tones, as if she were reading a meter gauge, on a wall, to indicate the temperature or air pressure!


so *that* is what is driving all of my "nearly out of money" dreams!!
If this head is my own head, and not of seeing some other head, then I have found
why I keep having these dreams. The life force "meter" indicates "almost zero"!
[must be that this meter starts decreasing, the Indicator, from the bottom up, as the soul has its "base" "up there" in the spirit worlds. Thus when those one to three inches are gone, up to the very top of the head, there is no more life force left.]

This "revelation" answers the Question, but
brings up, sports fans, *another* issue!!
I do not have to "work" on my inner "insecurity" due to a small lack of inner confidence [no work, no money], to deal with these dreams: I have to face Mr Death
Himself, probably, *if* I interpret this aright, sooner than my 64 years should warrant! My body is 74 inches tall, and the life bar is an inch, two inches, maybe three, left. A year?? Two years??

other wise healthy: maybe there are *other* issues yet covered here, like that china disclosure of that new unknown sickness, a sickness, or some bird flu pandemic, soon.
or...Maybe some great collective disaster or war!
[in other words, my death goes along with a lot of deaths, of others, at the same time!]
or maybe just a truck crashes into me, at a corner!

so I have my immediate meditational/prayer future cut out for me, I see....