Wednesday, April 06, 2005

old age.

I live in a senior residence, I am 63 years old and there are maybe 160 people in the Complex. Most are about 70 to even 90 years old.

Sometimes I find the talk with these people a bit discouraging. I have found that for many older people, "body maintenance" consumes most of their attention!
I listened to several older ladies, at supper, last night, talk about the various medical procedures of the week. It appears that for many people, they see their doctors about once every couple of days.

I know of two people, here, that take 20 pills each and every morning: that is just the morning's pills!

There is a retired railroad man who gives me a hard stare from the table next to me at supper, if I talk about anything "imaginative"! Seems that for him everything is
as "hard" as those rails he worked with, "hard" as in "facts" and "real"!
[I wonder how he approaches death and the afterlife?!]

I have seen and talked with "little old ladies [and men] on the bus too, they seem a bit "fragile". I do not mean "body-fragile", I mean a kind of fragileness in their minds! They Are Afraid. Of everything! And talk about it. And worry a lot about it.

I also note that at my Residence, there are a few "younger men" who are about my age of 62...65, who look a bit more like "modern professional" types. They do not
spend much social time at the residence, perhaps they have a rich outside life. I hardly ever see them, they do not come down for supper or other events.

Tis becoming apparent to me, that seeing these younger men gives to me a clue! These younger men, from the "post 1960 age", have more imagination and soul creativeness than of the generation that grew up, in lived, during the great depression and ww II and the Korean war times. Back before 1958, or so, "imagination and creativeness" was seen as dangerous to one's life and stability.

so in a sense, these somewhat dour and body symptom describing people, have let
all of their imagination "boil off", from non-use; now they are somewhat like a old near-dead tree with few leaves or young branches.

In a sense, too, they ALWAYS were like that, always very literal and always factual.
reminds me of another railroad engineer retiree, living in my upstate hometown, all of his life he worked in the rail yards of Rochester. Now, he lives alone in his house, and visits his ?brother? across town, so that I would often talk with him on the street. Very literal and factual. Very smart in a technical way.
He also was very depressed, he carried this aura with him everywheres. But I could
never bring this depression up for talk, as I knew that it would not do any good, as probably he did not know that he was even depressed! Nor if he did, would he even know a better state to be in, or EVEN if that "better state" would even be better: no
self examining here sports fans!
---I remember that 1955 day that my father came back from a counseling [over a poor marriage]. He told his wife about his amazing discovery that he actually had a subconscious mind!
I do not think that either of the two "railroad men", above, have any idea that
Freud has a idea called "psychology", let alone Adler, or Jung, or even Jesus for that matter!! "psychology" does not run a railroad engine, and never will!

Now, all that they see, is the dead log next to them, knowing that their own Tree is on the verge of becoming like this, as they read the obituary of someone that they knew. They have no Tools, in their engineer toolbox, to Deal with Death, let alone the afterlife, where Imagination will count for all!!

I would probably shudder to know what percentage of seniors are on anti-depression medications!

So this railroad man, at my residence, could well "rule his roost" in his clique of people, brooking no intrusions or interruptions, for sure, from someone who talks
"high-fluttin" philosophytalk....Rule till he finally meets the Man-with-the-scythe, and he may well deny *his* reality too!!
become "earthbound" after death, stay near his earthly "haunts", as that is something that he KNOWS, after all.....