Wednesday, December 22, 2004

A letter that I wrote to a email group for autism advocay, where 500 members
do not want to be CURED of autism! Try to find the advantages of being autistic!

yes hi all....
if you all can bear with my 5 wpm typing, "caps' are not an option, as if I do caps then I do nothing else, cannot think as I type!

yes, I just now joined. I really do not want to parade my symptoms too much, you all have heard it before!

I am 63, a single older man who never married. I live in a senior residence, now, in Tallahassee, FL. I have two computers and I only use them to play games on, rpgs, mostly, of the "slow reaction time" kinds!

If I had to wear my condition on my sleeve, I would note that all of my life it seems as if I had a pinhole in a sheet of paper to peer through where as everyone else has a window! What this means is that I can only do or think one thing at a time! And I am "right brained" too. "Temple granden: thinking in pictures" yes that is me!

I have left entire meals on the table not one bite eaten after a
two hour talk, as how can I find the food if I listen, say, to a man tell of his canoe trip in the Minnesota rivers?! There are no plates of food on lake minnehaha!!! I am there with him as he tells of the whispering northwinds, the pale blue sky and the girgle of water around a slow moving canoe: where is that food there?!! If I turn away to look at my fork to insert it into the string beans to place the fork at just so an angle to get the fork to lift up the string bean so that I will not have to wear it on my white shirt [only white, and after ten washings to get the sizing dye out and color shirts have that DYE that burns my lungs and throat! copd lung damage!]. Lift the fork, into mouth.
I am not in his picture image! I cannot even hear him.

not both at once!

at the same time, I note the complicated complexities of how everything is inter-related and thus most people would tell me that I talk too too much but hey!...How do you tell someone something where the sweater has 30,000 threads and you just rip off one of them when he asked me to take a look at my new sweater?! These days ya gotta spit it out in 4 seconds or less, and I need an hour!! I need that hour to say aaaanything!

my dream are VERY strange.
prophetic. Not even symbolic! I do things at night, about 3 times a week, in the afterlife worlds! I have, over the years, talked two way conversations with most of my relatives in the spirit world!
I suppose that my "church affiliation" could be called
THE SPIRITUALIST CHURCH...But there are none in Tallahassee.
my lapel button could indeed read...
"a psychic". Or..."A medium"!
I have seen India gurus, Jesus, people of all races, the "homo heavens"...Wonderful heavens. Yes, hell exists and you do NOT want to even visit it!

I have a web journal, a weblog.
"my life after near death experiences"
where some of my dreams of heaven are written up
"afterlife files"

[TO MODERATOR: I post my urls only this once, for information only, I do not intend to "spam" them weekly!! If you do not want them posted, please just delete that section.]

what I am doing, in my life, is trying to see and to live the ADVANTAGES of being somewhat autistic.

here is a small example, just one, and I will end my long post with it.
I once entered an ice cream shop for the first time. There were a intelligent looking couple ahead of me, and they were studiously reading the menu board. I took one glance at this huge board listing all 50 flavors, and first off, the names were in written script!
a killer for me, as I have great trouble reading handwritten letters!
So as this couple talked and talked about the pros and cons of this flavor over that flavor, I walked up and ordered. My order consisted of looking into the glass topped freezers and into the open ice cream boxes. I can tell when a box is "fresh", the ice cream has no ice crystals in it and the ice cream is not lying at the very bottom of the box. I found a just open box and ordered.
later the two people came up to order and they did not look at the ice cream, they ordered by WORD.

see, sports fans, they ate the word! I ate ice cream. If they both ordered "mint", maybe the mint had six scoops left and the remmanents were all covered with ice meaning a thaw and refrozen as this slow mover item has sat in that freezer for months and months absorbing all of the flavors of the ice cream around it!
they actually ate an abstraction, these two! Ate words.

I see this a LOT, all around me! All I see is "naked emperors" while everyone else praises the clothes! My "first impressions" are always right, if I do not follow them, I suffer for it.
I tend to think out of the box a lot. Ask Questions.

well enough....

freestone wilson