Tuesday, December 30, 2003

Tallahassee, the photo is not currant, but now it is the end of the year, still fall here, trees shedding their leaves. Soon, the new leaves will come out even as the old leaves fall...Spring and fall shake hands here....
By April, the daily 90 degrees will be back. I like that.

I finally have figured out my "one year to live" dream, back in may 13th of 2003!

[where the Master tells me, as I had Dream-traveled to Astral India, that he read, in 1938, while he was still alive on earth, my life-records, three years before I was born....That back then he read a whole bunch of these records, and he showed to me the astral copy of that record. I could see very well my name on it, it was mine all right, and the rest of the document was in some language that I could not read!
he then told me all about my lifeplan that was set up for me and I heard that I had finished everything: he read aright my lifeplans, and I had done ALL of them, finished them.
he then said....."In one year you will begin your Spirit life"!
*then* he mumbled some untranslatable comments about this, but the last word was in English, I heard it...
end of dream.]

now Dec 30 of 2003, one and onehalf years...

----46 days from may 13th to my birthday, and my mother's dream, where she came from heaven to tell me some number was when I was 57 and there were 57 days between 8that* dream and my birthday so that I just KNOW that the 46 days is MOST important!!

I came to Tallahassee fall of 1960 to begin school, really my whole creative adult life was spent here. My life of my soul. Tic now 43 years I have been here.
no 46 years if I were to have died in 2003!
but *what* about the "1938"? He could well have been counting from that....
three years to my birthday and then 43 years fro 1960!!

around thanksgiving, I sat on my morning toilet. I had had a rare, very *very*
hardpacked bowl movement the day before, and on this morning I looked down and saw the water in the bowl was
a hemorrhage that was shocking...Even a tablespoon of blood would look very very VERY bad!!
I had ruptured a hemorrhoid. In a day or two....It was "cured": but what a shock to see that red red water!

I know have a *VERY* good suspicion: that master's foreign language, now I can translate, sports fans!!

"You, freestone, will have one more year to live, from the day that you have a hemorrhage: that will occur, this hemorrhage, 46 years from 1946."!

"one year' as in "my father had one year from early November of 1986. "One year' as in that he died one year and one month later: "one year" means from....One year to maybe 18 months!! Not literally 12 months and zero days, probably!

spring 1938 to summer of 1941, my birth....3 1/4 years.
fall 1960 to November 2003...43 1/4 years..
46 years and one half year.
when I was calanderly 46 1/2....It was xmas of 1987, as I was born June 28th, EXACTLY 180 days from xmas.
my father died on xmas day of 1987!!!! After his one year extension: my mother also had a dream that Dudley would die at 72...He died at 73...One year extension as he forgave me, over the years.....

Friday, December 26, 2003

I have now "brought forwards' from the archives, many of my "most important and significant" astral travel experiences of heaven, on my other weblog, of *just* these experiences.


thus you can now go read them ,right on the very first page, of the
"December 2003, currant page"!
I was thinking, the other day, about a dream that I had months ago. This was an astral travel visit to a place in the "middle" heavenworlds, a place that I had been visiting for nearly

20 years!

I had not been there for about a year, and this time, I was amazed at what I saw....
It was as if there was a whole new "subdivision" of homes built there! In fact, most of the lands, of this heaven, was "overwritten"!!

---like going back to one's small hometown of 1000 people after ten years and finding that Honda corporation had built a factory next to it and now this "town" is a city of 300,000 people and a mega-mall sits where your childhood home was!!

As I sit here, pondering a moment this dream of six months ago, it is obvious to me that, as the Spirit Guides Teach....The heavens BELOW, at least, the "throne level, the Celestial Christ level...



what implications indeed!
----for *this* infers that the very very best of the "1965-2004+ changes-times"
will appear in these heavens! Not rustic cabins, perhaps, in my "Applalachin land"
but "Hippie/new age" homes with super, ultrafast Internet with computers and
Music of this age...as books...movies...etc..etc...of the 1965-2004+ times.
the very best.

thus we all, here on earth, are creating the very heavens that we all will go to...

I have gotten dreams, already, that many of the residents of these heavens, the "not too evolved" or "progressed"....they are not very happy with all the ideas and ways of the newcomers!!

too bad!
as the hippies began to change this world...heaven itself will change as they come in!
the phrase...."A new heaven, a new earth", in the bible, now has a more POTENT meaning!

one of the inferences, from this, is that all of the descriptions of heaven, given through mediums, are now probably
as by now our great changes here on earth, have percolated into the lower heavens so that these "old" heavens, depicted by 1930...1950 spirits, are now outdated!
the small town is no more, the mall covers your home, the computer internet will rule heaven....The heaven that awaits you will be a reflection of *this* world's "very very best"!!
"Spiritnet", anyone?!!

Tuesday, December 23, 2003

Out of body dream last night.

a "real" out of body dream! I dreamed that I was in a house with several roommates and I went out of body within the house, I could float through the walls and then float into the rooms where my "roommates" were. Maybe three other people. Then *they* all went out of body and I touched one of my roommates; he was only dimly aware that he was out of his body!! I could touch him, but anything in the house was like of a mist that I could pass through.

one small problem: I have no roommates and I live alone in a senior tower on the 5th floor and the dream was of a house surrounded by land, green fields!! I floated, often outdoors to see this....

*anther* "not so small' problem! I was not "I"!! I was another person!!
I was someone else, not "freestone".

I guess this is why the house-with-land, I "was" one of the people in this house of four roommates: somehow I did MORE than just dream his memories, as if I used someone else's memories....I WAS that person!

by far far, in my dreams...By far this one dream is not the only incidence of this!! I have, on occasion, dreamed a person's whole lifetime!
.....That store in SE Georgia! He grew up next to the family store, a rural store, I dreamed much of his childhood. I found the town on the map, later....

somehow, I seem to have the "ability" to insert my consciousness *into* the awareness of another person, as if I were that person!
---like of that gay guy, yesterday, in New York, when he met several of his gay friends and they had a very
"touchy-feely" reunion, very Loving, but very "gay-like"!!
[irrevelent that I am NOT gay"!!....There have been many many dreams, of this nature, that have me "animate" someone who I have nothing in common with, or even agree with the life-style of!!]

I have also "died" many times, died other people's deaths!!
drown....Car accident...Heart attacks....Being shot------you name it!

I wonder what my heaven will be like when I die?!!
I *could* find that I might not "own" myself!! What I mean by this is that I might find that I will not exist, as "freestone" there, after I die: I might live *AS* other people!!
live out there earthly life experiences as if I were them....

[think of the Possibilities!!]
...drug dealer in prison.
....Housewife of 4 children.
....summo wrestler

Monday, December 22, 2003

other worlds.....

So many of my dreams of late have been to places that seem to be

....A dream where I wandered around an open air plain, covered with trees and plants, a savannah, really. There were many many animals, of different species.
what struck me was that all of the animals,also were really REALLY different from any here on earth!! At the end of my dream I wandered into a hut and met a man who told me he was "my teacher for this dream"...And that he said to me..."How did you like you visit to the Sphere around another planet, around another sun"?!

...Another dream where I sat in a home with four men and talked. One of the men was dressed in white and had a "muslin" turban.

...Another dream was where I was in a place, in the astral, where there was a astral world where people from new York city lived. I was in a shop or building there and there were about four men in the room, and they all professed their "gayness".
they all joined in a big hug, a "homo hug"...Me included, even though I am not gay!!

....Yet another night, where I had a dream of going to some "alien world"...Probably one of earth's astral worlds. I cannot recall much of it, but "this is not Kansas anymore"!!

when one dreams of going to spirit realms, one often cannot choose, consciously, where and when and how....
like: since there is no "sex-orientation" in the afterlife, no Aids danger, no need for "puritan ethics", in many of the worlds.....
There may indeed be more "union" between two men or between two women, without Shame!!

millions of inhabited planets in our Galaxy....Each with their heavens.....
*that* is what the "dark matter' is composed of...From the Authority of some spirit guide that I read, channeled through a medium!!

millions of planets each with a million, or more, heavens *each*!!

-----better be Open to new experiences when ya die!!!!

Thursday, December 18, 2003

That picture, in my last post, the previous day.

Another world all right. India, and Sathya sai baba talking to villagers.

Strange person, this baba. Some say that he is not a human being! A psychic, who went to listen to him speak, noticed that she could not read him! Could not discern a bit about him. In fact she felt as if she was ascertaining the hole in a donut!
"no one home"!!
*then* baba mentioned, in his speech, that "psychics cannot read me": he looked at this Reader, and she knew that he was talking about her....

so who is "home" in baba?
who or WHAT is at the Seat of his Soul?!!

child sex abuse?!
I read the rants, the pains of crossed devotees....
but I also read a speech given by baba to a private group of people, in one of his speech-sessions, a speech that probably is not found on many websites, a speech that gives to me clues about this sex-thing!
Baba spoke about how now things are getting Serious, serious with the problem of people confusing his FORM with ..."love, truth, goodness"!
[like liking the cup containing the coffee, instead of the coffee within!]
"Something MUST now be done about this"...he says....."NOW"!!

---make sure that no one likes him anymore....everyone who has seen him until now, have Love-truth-goodness in their hearts and souls....need no more "outer baba form"!
Yes, myself, I suspect that the heaven world that baba has, for his devotees, has not ONE picture of sathya sai baba in this vast realm! You might live there for an age and not even know that there is anything of even "India" or Baba, there!!

Love...truth...goodness, have no shape or form that is particular to any one time or culture! Or to any one teacher's messages!

Tuesday, December 16, 2003

Monday, December 15, 2003

Interesting observation at the senior home!

Seems that I had a long talk with one of the weekend desk sitters, who sees and counsels many of the residence people, during the day.

She talked about "all the moving vans' that come when someone moves in, often!
As if a person who rents an small apartment, has six "U-hauls" and four Vans, trailing behind her!!

All her STUFF!!

But none of it is something that you can SEE!!

All her attitudes, her bitches, her "hanging on to the past"!

A certain lady who still is angry at her divorced husband, maybe ten to twenty years ago, and even I am not certain how long ago the Divorce occurred as it sounds as if it has occurred last week!!

I guess we all Collect! "grudges" more than "things"!

From what I know about the afterlife, *this* is truly what will actually go up there with you!! Not the things, the intangible stuff, the stuff in your soul.

all those vans will follow this lady through the Tombstone Door! They will all be parked, there, at the heavenly reception area! In fact they will stand between the arrivee and Jesus/the Guides/the Welcoming Relatives! All that she will see is the ten vans, full of her stuff, blocking the very gate!

She will have to live inside of the vans, for awhile, Nursing her "stuff"! The "awfulness" of her "ex", perhaps, or the "very very real" feeling of her anger and of her resentments! These will fill her existence, for awhile, I guess...Much as they did in her life on earth!

Friday, December 12, 2003

Well I finally figured out my DreamVision where my mother came to me to tell me some numbers!

May 2nd of 1999. In what seemed to be an "ordinary dream", I wandered along the driveway of my childhood home, out to the mailbox; I stood on the dirt road at the end of the driveway.

[my mother has been dead, now, since 1975, about 24 years.]

Suddenly this dream became "extraordinary"! My awareness increased to "Lucidness" as some spiritual energy infused the dream, and I noticed how the far open space, to the west, was being lit up as if the sun were rising! An Arch of light rose from the horizon, and under this arch, a figure about
500 foot tall and half a mile away appeared, as if this arch of light were a door into another reality.

It was my mother!!

My mother wore a shining white robe, glowing with white light as if it were the sun, and the white light streaming out from behind her was most impressive!

As IF she came way way down from a very high vibrational level of heaven, to see me.
surely that!

---and I heard her speak, speak softly in a voice that sounded far far away

"39 3 99 .... those numbers are in the Bible"

Then she faded away, leaving me with a great mystery, sports fans, a mystery that sometimes I had thought of, over the years.

I just just "come through" a period, from about may of 1998, until early October of 1998, where I was repeatedly WARNED, by vivid lucid dreams, that it was getting very very close to my Time To Die!!
the SECOND time in ten years this was so...Fall of 1993, I was in the hospital for 20 days, and nearly died . So the dreams got ever the more intense; about august of 1998, there was one that had it where a lady told me..."Freestone, your life force has run out"!! Then I got sick. Pneumonia. But between the vet clinic, antibiotics, and spirit, I healed. *then* I had a dream where another mysterious lady told me that...
"due to some help you gave your mother[??]....You will have an extension: be a prisoner of the flesh for a while longer, but not for a long time"! I left my hometown October 2, at 57 years of age.

A good guess that this Visit from heaven, by my mother had to do with this near death that September, as "mother" was involved in the extension dream
that the number of days between this mother-vision and my birthday...Was 57 days!!

---what did these numbers refer to?!!
about once a month, at coffee or on a walk, I pondered......

well, sports fans, now I know what the numbers refer to!
In 1993, I was 52 years old, when I nearly PHYSICALLY died! [no "symbolic death" here!!]
I had, by then, lived, on and off, in Tallahassee, for 33 years. 1960-1993. In this city, I had done most of my "adult" soul expressions, over the years; sometimes I would go back to visit my hometown for a year or two...But come back.
After my 1993 hospital stay, I spent 22 months in my hometown. Then 18 months in Tallahassee, then finally 16 months, again, in my hometown of Interlaken, where I had the other "death experience".
"33 years". Symbolic number, that. SO symbolic of Jesus and HIS death, that the
3 days my mother refers to, surely refers to the "he arose on the 3rd day"!!
but he was in "hell" for only ONE day! Friday 4pm, until Sunday 6 am....Is about 32 hours: ONE DAY!

so my 22 months in my hometown, after the hospital, counts as ONE YEAR!
Then...The next 18 months in Tallahassee, and the next 16 months in my hometown...Are of ONE year each!
*THERE* is the "3"!
1993 to 1998...is 3 years, by this Reckoning.

After I returned to Tallahassee, October 2nd of 1998, I have lived here since and now am
"awaiting' to see if that lady on the train is "right" where she tells me, November 28th,
...."You have One year: get ready"!!!!!
In the fall of 2004, I will be 63

So far, I have spent 57 years, in my hometown
If I add that to 33 years of Tallahassee, plus the "3 years", above, I get a total of 93 years.
when I returned to Tallahassee, in 1998, until the fall of 2004...Is 6 years.

93 + 6 = 99!!

the numbers revealed and now I have the Message interpreted, that my mother of 24 years in heaven hath given to me!!
39 years of Tallahassee and 57 years of "hometown", and "3" years of 22 to 16 months, for each period of time, the three places that I lived, after 1993, until October 2nd of 1998!

at the *VERY* least: I am "prophecised" to leave Tallahassee and never come back!!
probably my death.

I better be Ready!!

Thursday, December 11, 2003

I saw something, of another person, that struck me, the other day.

in the public library, where there is a computer room of about 15 computers with one printer, I sat at a computer and sent a page to be printed. I heard the printer print it, but I waited a moment before going over to pick up my 5 sheets of paper. Another person sent a print job through, right then, I could hear the printer print out another ten sheet, or so, of paper. Then I saw a young lady walk over to the printer to pick hers up. I figured then, that I ought to go get my stuff and when I went, low and behold, I saw that she took mine alone with hers!
I then walked over to her desk and mentioned to her that my job was in her pile of papers.

no response from her at all!!

I asked again, now TELLING her that my 5 pages were in her pile of papers.
she looked at me as if I "came from mars"....as if my request and statement had *ABSOLUTELY*
nothing to do with reality.

I asked once again; she slowly looked to the back of the pile, I could tell her interest was about .001%
Yes, my job was there, she handed me the sheets.

page 2-5, thank you!!

I told her that she handed me only the second through the last page and that my first page was still there. [ she did not even look, or even care to look!]
reluctantly she got that page for me....

...Utterly self-absorbed......

I pondered a minute what her future might be, years from now....She will marry and have a career, and live in this modern age...
will she marry a guy, have a baby, then fall in love with another man, and if she is articulate enough, she might tell her husband that "I gotta go where my heart lies, isn't the heart that one should follow?!!"
leave him with child....Then her next marriage/relationship will last another year until the *next* guy is seen!!

"young soul"
---this would be a good example, "just off of the boat"....


Tuesday, December 09, 2003

There are Times when I ponder "free will"!

*then* I ponder my January 1982 dream, where I was spending the winter at my sister's house deep in the Applachcian mountains near Asheville, north Carolina.
it was a long long dream, involving going to India and going to some master's ashram building, then a whole series of images that were "used" in the dream events...."a graphic novel", as it were.
Funny thing was, the next day as I took a walk to a place where I had not been to before, there were at least two scenes, that I walked by, that were in the dream!
*that* amazed me, as I had not walked that road before, this particular mountain road.
As the years went by, low and behold, each and *every* image in this dream was really of some physical place that I *WOULD* see some day!!
One by one, over the years....*that* fountain, in *that* park. *that* library wall in *that* city, a city that I had no idea of living in, when I moved there in 1989!!

On and on....Perhaps the last image that "came true" was around 1995.

free will??
I suspect that maybe free will exists but often "fated' people CHOSE the future while in the state before their birth, while they sat with the masters and Guides who help set up the life to come, on earth. Then when they are born, they see their life-events as "fated".

at least this dream reveals such for me, very very humbling over and over and over, to see about 20 or so places that were part of this dream, over a 12 to 15 year timeperiod!

there were several numbers in this dream too. One number referred to my "getting a car", the number of years from my birth to when I got this car!. The other number was also having to do with my life, somehow....

If I , i now see, if I now add up the numbers of the years that I lived, in several places [overlapping years!], up until I actually BOUGHT a new car, my only brand new car that I ever ever bought, the total comes to that number.
I figure that the other number is the number of years, in several overlapping places, that I would live *after* January of 1982.
I am still "working' on that one, as it is all too too possible to "fit', artificially, the numbers into a preconceived fittings! But as I see it, the "end" must be in 2004 or 2005!!

maybe I will overwrite this, by my 30+ years of life? By what I have done since I bought the car, back in 1966-67! ...And do more life livings.
maybe I will NOT overwrite.....

I must be, indeed, coming up to a "point' set up before I was born, to have all of these dreams, over the last few years...
SO SO much has changed, since the 1970s, for all of us....so many options, so many opportunities for personal growth, so much so that "enthusiasm has outrun self-disciplines" for many of us. There has been so many changes since the late 60s that perhaps the "set-date" for my death, has now been overwritten; I still get the echoes of the Date, in my dreams!
So much has changed, over the years, in my own life, surely the date WILL be overwritten!!

or maybe not.

Saturday, December 06, 2003

cornell university live camera.

on a 400 foot high hill overlooking cayuga lake, the wind has a 60 mile fetch, from the northwest; often blows 30 MPH at 20 degrees far.

You do not know how lucky you are!!

Friday, December 05, 2003

Hold the presses!!!

I finally figured out why I could not ever ever seem to read my "find" of the wonderful series of books where channeled descriptions of heaven were found!!
Seems that everytime that I sat down at the computer, there would be a library conference of four librarians about 5 feet away, or that lady, this morning, who sat down about one foot away at the next computer, closer to me than she would sit with her boyfriend...No reading possible!!

has to do with several things.
...That dream where I sat with sathya sai baba where he asked me if I wanted to help him with the Progression, in heaven, after I die, of "millions of souls"!
that is...to be one of the Workers who Counsel...Console newly arrived souls who are "stuck" in the lower realms after they die, me working in the "Office' of the baba organization, with his thousands of angels and other thousands of Volunteer, like of me, souls..
......Explains why I dream very very often, now, where I do not merely talk to afterlife spirits that I meet in the astral realms; I LIVE their earth-life experiences as if I *WERE* them!

Yes, since I am to read channeled books where the material is FROM the heavenralms, I "have to do here on earth exactly what I would be doing after I die...at the very same moment that I am reading!!
thus I had, with that girl, probably a choice: have sex with her right there, or else she and I talk of deep deep life experiences, from both of us, for hours and hours and hours, right there and then!
...And have a four hour talk with those librarians....

Most of "you" will go on to higher heavens after you come to the lower heavens and helped to Progress by spirits who work with the Christ, and the Enfranchised Master, spirits and Angels who are trained to do this, naturally they will 'stay behind" to help others after *you* go on upwards. Some of the helpers might be there for millions of ages, until every single earthly soul has come! Since there is about 100 years of heaventime for each ten years of earth: these helpers will be in the lower realms for a *LOOOOOONG* time!!

---and you say, "oh, to live another's experiences, how neat"!

I probably will have to, as an example, "hold the hands" of many many "childsex/abusers"!
to experience *as* them, their sexual experiences! Then...go find any of the children that they had sex with, if they have come up to heaven and Experience with them *their* sex experiences with their abuser, as they had experienced it, first person!! Then I would have to re-unite all of the children with the abuser who sexed them, and "sit there" to Mediate his victims with himself, the abuser!
Of course I will have to experience the death of each of the people that I counsel with: I have already "dreamdied' in many ways...been shot, drowned, poisoned, heart-attacked...etc.....

Since I have astral traveled to places that had names like
"Kabul"...or "Baghdad", and sat with bearded, robed, Muslims, I wonder what their beliefs are, even now.
Suppose I find out they are of the Al-Queada!
I might have to "live" their feelings as to why Infidel America must Convert Now!!

Thus, I see, today, before I die, in my year-to-come...I have to accept that every single way...Philosophy....Lifestyle, is Valid and a way to live. That there is something Good in all ways of life....whether childsex...gay...officeclerk...housewife.....pornography store owner....[ ].
[fill in the blank with the lifestyle that *you* dislike the very very most!!!]
whatever your most disliked path is...I might have to live, first-person, it with hundreds and hundreds of it's followers, after I die, and after I get Trained in counseling/consolings!!

this is why, probably, if I DO have only that one year, I will read the daily New York times, and the "National Inquirer", as well as play RPG computer games...instead of
"going to the monastery in retreat", that *most* people might do, if they knew that they had one year left!!

I must Understand even the more, the Diversity of Experiences!

*most* probably SHOULD do that, go to the Forest or monastery, but me? No! MOST people will not work in the lower realms, in "soul rescue" for a zillion ages!!
The sun may burn into a clinker, from old age, before I finally Retire from my job, as by then all the earth's souls will have come to the heavens!

So *this* is why I get such strong synchronisms from trying to read channeled material about where I am going to live soon!

the wonderful state library, here in tallahassee, has a nice section with computers. I finally found out why I never could use the PDF readers, on these computers, to read the huge and wonderful e-libray of
there must be 300 books and 200 links, there, of channeled old out of print books.

such a treasure trove and I could not read them!!
If I have but a year left on earth, better do some reading!!

so yesterday I found that the problem was that all but ONE computer had an out of date PDF reader, and finally I found that if I used that one computer, perhaps I can access!!

I sat down there.
Suddenly, at *right* that very second, four librarians came over to stand five feet away and they began to talk in earnest about changes in the floorplan!
talk for over an hour!!!
killed *that* plan!

so today I came in and sat down to that one computer and *just* as I did, a young lady comes over to sit down next to me at the next-over computer and she is about one foot away: NO HOPE! I got up to leave, telling her that if I sat there I *would* have to have a conversation with her as I would be physically closer to her than most people are when they talk!!

DO I HEAR ...."HIDDEN MESSAGE" hidden in these small sychronisms, sports fans?!!
that I should NOT spend my "last year' reading about heaven!! Perhaps I should
pay more attention to the physical world and to the people I relate to!

cannot take a walk until the shoes are good!
cannot drive without good tires!
cannot dance on the floor until the floor is fixed properly!!!

physical world
COMES VERY FIRST!!...in "heavenprep"!

---that is the message that I am getting!

one does not run out of a house into the sunlight *as* a "first action"!!
the "running out into the light" is the *last* thing that ya do!!
when you see the sunlight through the window, you first have to stop and wind down what you are doing. Then walk slowly around all of the furniture, you just cannot walk through the wall, can ya?!! Slowly finish up the stuff in the house then walk to the door and open it!

you want a cola drink. But then you have to find a store that sells it, then buy it, then put it in a cup. Then sit down...etc...etc...the very very LAST thing that you do is to actually drink it!!

99% of everything that you do... is "physical prep"!!

prepare for heaven? The last thing to do is to read books about how others have seen heaven!!

Wednesday, December 03, 2003

[a copy of a letter that I wrote to the newsgroup
alt:daggerfall, alt:comp:rpg, and the Elderscrolls forums, in "old games".]

So why did I uninstall the ultima games I-8, from my computer?!

Several days ago, I read something nice about the Fanmade patch for the Ultima IV, and this inspired me to take out my old copy of the origin box of ultima 1 through 8, and install them.
I went to gamefaqs to print out a few faqs and I looked yet again at the "user reviews" for all these games.
"U7...best game of all time"
"U6...the good old days, even better than 7"
praise praise praise.........
[images of thousands of old gamers bowing to the Gods of Old Dos machines]

I have an old 120 pentium, rescued from a yard sale, *just* to play old dos games with. All of 1.8 gigs of a hard drive: gotta be selective as to what games I put on it!
So I tried Ultima 6. A wonderful introduction, leading to....A MESS! The top down screen was SO pixilated that I could not even see where the characters and the enemies were! *this* is what happens when an old game, made for a 10" monitor, is played on a 17" screen! Too too fast! Even for a 120 Pentium, even with a slowdown program...too too fast, and when I really slow it down, the animation is "jerky"!
But what turned me off completely was the "unimmersion factor"!! Lots and lots of "facts and data"!
How can I put it, sports fans????....seems to me that the early players of computer games were the "Geeks", the "intellectuals", the "airheads"! I am NOT putting these people down, by any means, but with the limited graphics abilities of the early computers, the games were really made to be "played in one's head"! Thus, for me, everything was "too abstract", for me to enjoy! extreeeeemly abstract!
about as much "fun" as placing 5000 returned library bookslips into alphabetical order! Too, even on my 17" screen, the playing area was about six inches across: I could not become involved with anything on the screen!

I feel a bit like of being someone who dislikes classical music, and I am "supposed" to really like classical music!! Everyone, who is an "intellectual" raves and raves about the subtle qualities of, say, "classical music", and I prefer Rock!
Here I am with a whole compilation of the "greatest rpgs on the planet, of all time", and I find them all[with the exception of Ultima 7] an exercise in Abstraction and "Distancing" from what I can relate to!
[try eating coffee from the coffee cup with a Fork! No matter how many times you bring fork to mouth, dipping it in the coffee, so little of the coffee comes on the fork]
So here I sat, peering at a pixilated screen of three "heros" battling out with three[?] orks. This begins right at the beginning of the game and there are 548 battle-commands to use right away, to have remembered! I cannot even tell how many enemy there are!

---which brings me to Daggerfall!
On my main computer, I am now playing Dungeon siege, lots of graphics and lots of scenery, but a shallow game! I seem to prefer that! I crave "immersiveness" in a game, so much, that I seem to prefer graphics over gameplay, very very greatly! Neverwinter nights too!
on my dos computer, I recently reinstalled daggerfall. I played it out, once, the MainQuest, not following too many of the sidequests. Probably I will play it often now, just to roam around that World. The Music, alone, is some of the best gamemusic that I have ever heard, especially the night music, when I am out in the wilderness. SO mysterious!

of COURSE the psychological tests reveal that I am "left brained' and Attention deficeted so much that I would classify myself as "Autistic" DO classify myself as that! I rapport with Temple grandan, who
wrote the book...THINKING IN PICTURES. *All* of her thinkings are done only in images, like of my own....

which means....Graphics over cruddy storyline/gameplay...and nuts to the critics.

I have a gametheroy, sports fans.....
...that the recent involvement, of the "broader base" of younger gameplayers, tends to "fighting games and to "rpg-lite" is more of a reflection that *most* of the rest of us are more IMAGE ORIEENTATED
than the early gameplayers! I, myself, find that I can handle "stats" and "character management" only if there is a direct link to what I SEE, on the screen!
[in fact I have great trouble reading the game manuals until I play the game for awhile, if I read the manual FIRST, what I read means not a durned thing at all!! I have to keneticly DO the game before anything that I read makes sense.]

I might even find that I would *like* console fighting games, over "ultima 1-6!!
SOUL CALIBUR, perhaps, if I can find it....or the similar one for playstation!

my Time is short, I have to choose my games, I guess I have to NOT listen, or to read of, the "review experts" who play abstractly, in the future!!


Monday, December 01, 2003

Someone asked me, in a letter, about some of the symbolisms in my train dream, last week, where I was told by the conductor...."One year: get ready"!!

> Have You ever thought about the term "one
> year" as a symbol, or more an image for a
> deeper meaning ?
> I see, that there are facts that do contradict
> this interpretation, like the story of Your
> mother, who imagined her own death and
> the death of Your father...or Your experiences
> of living the life of strangers, or meeting with
> dead people within dream, experiences which
> also do not appear symbolic to me

> What is about natural rhythms of time (seven days
> of a week, four weeks of a month, twelve months
> of a year) ? Do You experience them as images or
> are they always meant literal in Your dreams ?
> - "ONE YEAR, get ready !"
> Do You have still something to do ?

> sincerely, xxxxxx
I thank you for your reply, and for the pictures too. I am going to post one of them into my weblog. Too....your questions are very good for me to ponder a bit about my dream, I am going to post some of this letter to my journal too....

tis interesting questions you ask about that "one year"!
Tis partly a cultural thing, that phrase. "you have one year to live"...the doctor confides to the patient, Xray in hand, the brain tumor is incurable!
"one year", is merely a nice round number, a chunk of time.

in my dream, I saw my own coat and hat, on the train seat, as I left, I made sure to grab them before I walked out: thus the dream was indeed my own, I was NOT dreaming someone else's dream! I saw a great river outside of my train window, just before that stop at Monongahela. A representation, perhaps, of the Crossing of the Styx!

After I got off of the train, I saw off into the distance that factory building with the words..."SCHISM CORPORATION" on it. I did a search in Google, there is no company name like that.
the word Schism means.....
The word schism is derived from the Greek σχισμα, schism, meaning division or split (from σχιζο, schizo, "to split").
......That *would* be a good definition as to what happens at death: a split off from the earthplane, *more* than "just a train trip to another country"!!

I had a very very similar type of dream just a few weeks before this, where in an ordinary dream my deceased sister came up to me and then said
"father Dudley will only live ten more years unless he learns how to love"!
[he died in 1987!!! But his wife had a prophetic
dream where he was SUPPOSED to have died in the fall of 1986, at 72 years, he lived ONE MORE YEAR, as he now forgave his son, so that the son, me, came to be with him for that year...A grand reunion...His face glowed with happiness each day that I came to see him! He lived one more year, dying at 73, about a 13 or 14 month extension.
mother also, in the same dream, foresaw her own death in TEN YEARS.
...Thus, the model is there, in the mother's prophecy, for the "ten years' and the "one year"!!

yes Dudley lived 11 years.]

I have a theory here about the mechanics of both dreams. That the message was delivered by an OBJECTIVE, real, person! A real living Spirit-person, my sister who died in 1986, and a Guide, in each dream. They came "down" from heaven and entered my dreamworld where I stand at the Border of the spirit worlds.

the message is delivered, a lady speaks.
*then*, only then, my subconscious creates a dream scene. This is why the message even sounds "more real" than the dream. The message comes first, then I create a fantasy around it, then I awake, with this fantasy encapsulating the message within it! As, furthermore, I create the fantasy, I imbue this 'story" with symbolic elements that reflect the message!

...Tis be *like* someone tells me a message, then I go sit down in a coffee shop and make up a story with that message in it, and then recite that story to a group of people that night.

thus, when I wake up, I receive my own story. And...the story is made up of reflections that I made up, thus the story is "not as true" as the original message.

---and the message?
in both cases, they come from a living spirit, a spirit that once was a earth person. Just because someone says it, does not mean that it is True! That Conductor on the train, why I created her role as conductor, in my fantasy, but she is a Spirit communicator of the message: she may have read it aright, from the Astral records, but she might not have got the dates right!!

OK, lets ASSUME that her message is correct. This might have little to do with me at all!!


for instance:

Hidden Codes in the Bible by Roy A. Reinhold revised 11/15/98

In 1997, THE BIBLE CODE, a book by Michael Drosnin burst on to the scene, proposing that there are hidden coded texts recording all of history in the Hebrew textus receptus (the Masoretic text) of the Torah. THE BIBLE

One last cautionary note before we delve into the prophetic implications. All those involved in the ELS research, caution that we don't know enough specific knowledge of how the Creator of the codes intended a nearness of terms at the same ELS, to apply and form a meaningful set of data. For example, if near terms are found at the same letter spacing, do they always apply to each other, or are there other nearby terms which are the intended correct association of terms? Without caution, we could mix up terms in close proximity and form a prediction of the future which was never intended by God our Father, the Creator of the codes and Author of the Bible. However, the evidence of past historical events recorded thousands of years ago in Bible prophecy and the Bible codes, means that future events are also there. We just need to exercise caution in our searching of the codes, as well as common sense. A software program called Bible Codes Plus was released to the public in October 1998 with dictionary search capability, a function which may make codes research about the future much easier. The problem with looking for future events in the codes, is that we often don't know what to look for. Dictionary searches are a new brute-force method of identifying all words/phrases in the displayed matrix.

Also, the philosophical question arises, just how much free will do we have, if the historical record was written down beforehand in prophecy and the Bible codes? The answer is that we have free will, but the Author of the Bible and the codes is God, who stands outside the creation and is not the creation itself as so many new-agers would have you believe. Being outside of the creation, He is able to view all of history and each person's life and choices and see what they choose. Pre-knowledge by God does not negate the free will given to each human.

Implications of THE BIBLE CODE in prophecy

In chapter 6, a couple of findings from the book, THE BIBLE CODE, hit me like a ton of bricks. The term "world war" was encoded with the term "in 5766" for the possible year. In another place, the term "atomic holocaust" was encoded with the term "in 5766". In another place the term "great earthquake" was encoded with the term "in 5766." In another place, the term "great earthquake" was encoded with "Japan" and "in 5766." And in another place the term "economic collapse" was encoded with the term "fire, earthquake struck Japan."

For those of you who don't know, the year 5766 runs from October 4, 2005 to September 22, 2006. These dates are from Rosh Hashanah in 2005 to the day before the next Rosh Hashanah in 2006. The dates are from the current Jewish calender. For example, June 26, 1997 is Sivan 21 of 5757, and the year 5758 begins on Rosh Hashanah, which is October 2, 1997. The implications of the year 5766 could be staggering. I'd like to make some preliminary proposals subject to revision and correction. Please, please, please, consider the following a "what if" type of scenario. If, if, if, if, if the hidden codes are correct in the above association of terms concerning the year 5766, then the following is possible.

If, if, if, if and only if the Bible codes are correct in citing the year 5766 as the time when world war 3 occurs, then from my table of dates, World War 3 will start immediately after the abomination of desolation in the Temple on 31 January/1 February 2006. That means working backwards, the peace treaty of prophecy will occur on 19/20 September 2002. That also means that Jesus (Yeshua) will come to reign on the earth 1290 days after the abomination of desolation on 13/14 August 2009. The fulfillment of prophecy of Yom Kippur will occur on 27/28 September 2009, and the fulfillment of Succoth after the judgment of the peoples of the earth will occur on 2/3 October 2009 and run for 8 days.


In "bible code II"...the writer dwells upon the 2005
possible date for WWIII and/or earthquakes!!

what I am saying, is that there might be some great disaster then, around 2005 or 2006!

"Schism" for *YOU* too!!!
for many of us, a date that might be "set in concrete", where some disaster occurs, a date set up long long ago, and prophets see it coming...

anyway, I digress....

So what happened to my may 13th, 2002, dream where a India master read me the record that he transcribed *while* he was out of body, in 1938, where he read that "I had one year to live"?!!
I was born in 1941, my lifepath was then set up, and set up perhaps to die in 2003, would be the fall of 2003,
and die of a HEMORRHAGE, to boot!!

Father DID learn to love, he lived one more year.
I, too, must have "learned to love" as I dropped my own plans to drive the 1200 miles to be with father for that year!!
thus I would also "have one year extension"!
*not* die in the fall of 2003, as the master read, but die one year later. Father lived another 14 months, thus very very late 2004, or early 2005, for MY version of this "extension"!

Too...I nearly died, in 1993, of a Lung condition, and I was in the hospital in November of 1993, for about 20 days. My room was only 200 feet from where my father was, in 1986, on the same days, in November!
*this*, sports fans, is TEN YEARS apart!

what all this 'rambling" is about, everyone....Is that there is a PATTERN apparent here, a pattern that shows that there is a strong possibility that I have now my father's "one year extension"!!

Thus, that Master is not wrong, in the may 13th prophecy! Like of my father, the date was Overwritten, and for over a year.

Now the ball is thrown back to me, what can I DO for that year to come?!
I can ignore the dream message, of course. I can assume, too, that "it is only symbolic" of some personal 'ego-death", a "mere" change of residence, or whatnot.
There probably will be yet more dreams ahead....I am still "recovering' from the message, I do not know yet what I will do....