Thursday, February 27, 2003


Look look look!
see what two respected newspapers have to say about the Aids vaccine!!

USA Today
02/26/2002 - Updated 09:11 PM ET

New AIDS vaccine appears safe, promising

By Steve Sternberg, USA TODAY

SEATTLE — Early results from the first human trials of a promising new AIDS vaccine show not only that it appears to be safe, but also that it generates potent immunity to the virus, the lead investigator announced Tuesday.

What's more, the vaccine appears to generate immune responses to the world's three major strains of the AIDS virus, HIV, suggesting that one vaccine may one day work as well in Africa and Thailand as it does in the USA, says study leader Emilio Emini of Merck Research Laboratories in West Point, Pa.>>>

...and from the New York Times.
Large Trial Finds AIDS Vaccine Fails to Stop Infection

BRISBANE, Calif., Feb. 23 — The first AIDS vaccine ever to be tested in a large number of people has failed, over all, to protect them from infection with the virus that causes the disease, the company that makes it, VaxGen, said today.

The vaccine did, however, seem to significantly lower the infection rate among African-Americans and other non-Hispanic minorities participating in the trial, the company said.

Its researchers called this finding totally unexpected and said they were at a loss to explain why there would be ethnic differences in response to the vaccine. They conceded that the findings, though statistically significant, might change if the vaccine were tested among more members of minorities, who were only a small fraction of the people in the trial. >>>>

Both these newspapers were in the Barnes and Nobles coffee starbucks cafe. I read both headlines....
"Aids vaccines is a success"!
"aids vaccine fails miserably"!

side by side, on my table, the other customers were AMAZED!!

two respected papers took two different views, on the same facts.....and i think that i know why...

they CHOKED!!
choked on...
" The vaccine did, however, seem to significantly lower the infection rate among African-Americans and other non-Hispanic minorities participating in the trial, the company said.

Its researchers called this finding totally unexpected and said they were at a loss to explain why there would be ethnic differences in response to the vaccine. [new york times]"

the liberals went into Denial mode. they cannot accept that
a "pekinese and a german shepard are different"!!
they both are dogs, but the liberals insist that there is not a shred of difference between the races, in anything!

tell ya what: my views are that unless each race accepts its very-differences.....the race in power will just try to make all the other races just like them!
read: "us whites will turn all the hispanics and the blacks into whitey-clones, they become whites!"!!
thus, the blacks should celebrate, say, their Kinetic-motion-moving, skills, and the chinese should try to develop the math skills.
and the blacks should try to get a grasp on "mind and thinkings", to balance a lack of, and us whites should try to develop a spontainoiusness and feeling nature, like many of the hispanics have as a gift as we all whites seem not to feel very well!

one can see this racial difference in action when one looks at the "Pickets charge" at the civil war gettysburg!
...the Celtic race is strong on Imagination, romanticism, and storytellings. why a Promish, to them, is more important than the Delivery, of a Appointment! Thus the Grand charge up the hill to attack the union troops, a Romantic Grand Charge!
...and the union troops? why the Anglo-Saxon/Tuetonic way is to think in "facts...length, breadth, height...littteralness in "data"! thus they made machine guns by the Assembly-line methods and thus they mowed down the grand rebel charge with their machine guns....the Industrial age won out over the romantic age!!

so the only war the [say] blacks can become even more at peace with to accept their differences and not let the whites turn them into whites!!

Tuesday, February 25, 2003

well, after reading *SO* much about the seemingly endless endless wakes and funerals and mournings, over the Nightclub[s]
and the many other things; things like that out of body dream that i had last month where other OBE people came up to the spirit world, talking about all of the very bad wars that are to occur soon!.....I pull this here article that i once wrote...out of my files!


what is the use of loving physical
knowing that the endtimes/earthchanges may ruin it?!


hello, everyone!!

someone asked me, yesterday, about my latest end time vision.
She more or less says that " why go on
enjoy life, knowing that bad times are ahead,
and oblivion for us all"

Spirit once gave to me an answer for that

I was living in upstate new york at the time.
it was May, late may, and the springtime leaves were
at their best...gloriously may days, late in may, of
soft blue skies
and lush new leaves, everywhere.
the air smelled so sweet and all the birds were
chiripping overtime, in song.
But i had just had yet ANOTHER one of my end
time visions...that very morning!! There was strong inference that very soon much of the earth's surface could become ruined for life!
----and I now, by early afternoon, had walked out into the countryside, from the 600 people town that i was living in. I wanted to get out and pray and meditate upon that dream...a dream that killed all hope, a dream that says all will die. How could I feel "good" about enjoying what could become ruined very soon? How could i even enjoy this spring lovelyness that is now all about me, knowing that
all of the plants could become dead from, say, volcanic ash and clouds?!

so as i walked along this road, in the early springtime the warmest time of
day...i asked this same question, in prayer, to Spirit, this lady asks
me....."why even go on living"?!!

---and Spirit gave me an answer! probably a guide whispered it to me, as I heard the
Inner Voice Speak!
it said, more or less........
Yes, you had yet another dream of
everything dying in the endtimes, Freestone.
Dust and brown and dead wood and dead cities, everywhere. oh how depressing!
but look before you, Freestone!
there you see spring in all its glory!
and---you know that in only a very few
months, winter
will come and Frost everything Dead!!
the winds will blow black clouds and the snow
WILL fall, covering everything in still deathlike
silence, at ten degrees above zero farenheit. Winter WILL win, as it always does every fall, in upstate new york.
But you enjoy the summer, Freestone, do you not---knowing that this winter to come, in only five month, will win out over the life of summer's warmth??!! [frost can come in september, in upstate ny!!].....
you know that all of it will die.
But you also know that there will be
another spring and summer, next year! There will always be a summer nine months ahead, every fall of the year.
so enjoy this one...while it lasts...
You are supposed to, being this earth is a classroom to
use for to grow your Soul in!
High school art class may only last an hour a day, five days a week: use it to learn Art in. Summer only lasts four months every year, enjoy it!

and if the earth were to die?
why there will be yet another "earth" in
spirit for
you to enjoy, after you die...the heaven worlds of spirit!
and this one will have an EVERLASTING summer....
so use the earthly "summer" to train you to
see the
Real Eternal Summer, in heaven, after you
die! and after all, even if the earth has no
endtimes that
the prophets warn of...YOU will have your
very own personal endtime, some day soon----!!

your death!

thus the REAL question, here, is..."how can i go on
knowing that i will die, someday, and all of my life's work will be gone, and all my
life's future hopes and dreams will then be for not?!!"

we all, each of us, have our personal
endtimes, our
very personal rapture!! some people will end
time before the endtimes!!


a good answer!
so go out and enjoy your senior year in high
school, the art classes;
even knowing that very soon the Graduation
will occur
and you WILL move off to College, across the
Great River, never never, to come back to sit in
of High school #666!!


Friday, February 21, 2003

the AMAZING news blip!!

I was in the bank yesterday and as i was waiting for my place in line, i watched the overhead tv giving out the news. Across the bottom of the screen ran the usual "running line" of Breaking News.
There was one such line that really caught my eye! *really* caught my attention!
"from the Washington post.
.....the great support, all over the world, in the marches and demonstations, for no war with Iraq, has greatly made Saddam ever the more defiant in his stance"....something like that.

I looked it up
in the washington post....
>>>Known by company we keep

David Limbaugh

Intended or not, the anti-war protesters in the United States and around the world brought great comfort to Saddam Hussein. The CNN headline reporting the latest protests literally said, "World anti-war rallies delight Iraq."
As the protests were talking place and the protesters were happily doing Saddam's bidding, Saddam's rigidly controlled television stations showed footage with the logo "International day of confronting the aggression." Saddam's media puppets weren't referring to the aggression of the "peaceful" protesters in New York, who injured eight policemen and a police horse, but the United States, Great Britain and any other nations that will participate in military action against Iraq.
The insightful proverb "we shall be known by the company we keep" applies as fittingly to useful idiots as anyone else, no matter how indignantly they "protest."

....this here idea is the strangest, strangest, thing that i have read all year!!!!!
got that?

...that Saddam is ever the more getting bolder and more defiant as he sees that the opinions of many are for not having the united states attack Iraq.
If Bush eventually goes ahead and attacks Iraq, as Saddam, now, is more defiant: what "tips the scales" in his descions may actually be the
anti-war demonstators!
thus the more people demonstrate, the more possible that war could occur, as Saddam becomes ever the more bolder, knowing that the world opinion is against America!!

....seems to be, to me, a 'spiritual law"....if you try to avoid something, you end up embracing it!
thus the war could be caused *BY* the people who want peace so so much!!! actually CAUSED! *that8 was my amazing
discovery, sports fans, that the war could be caused by the very peaceniks that want to avoid it!

perhaps the liberals think that, as they are intelligent and as that ben labin and saddam are also "intelligent", there must be a "common ground" of a possibility of a rational discouse between one and all.


saddam and Ben ladin are rational all right, but they have a whole different "rational outlook" then the liberals!
like: a word or seven..."TALIBAN WAY OF LIFE FOR US ALL"!!

Europe sent its youngest and brightest off to the middle east, to save all of europe from becoming Muslin: called the "1100 AD Crusades"!
no dialogue was possible: two wholly different ways of life, the only way europe confronted this problem of advancing Muslinism was to pick up that sword and use it!!

might be that again soon!!

Thursday, February 20, 2003


quiet day. too too busy till another day to write!!

Tuesday, February 18, 2003

Interesting times we live in! google owns blogger and 19 inches -plus of snow now sits on Central park!
is the war on or off?!!

I often am amazed at how so few people find all of this interesting!
the daily life fills all!
*that" may be part of the problem with a lot of our collective problems!!
life now demands that each of us "see the whole wall": many of us stand right next to it so that all they see is a circle about six inches across! thus they judge the whole wall by what they see in that six-inch circle!!
They see that six inches and then they just know *that* is what is real and they try to convince everyone else that this six inches is
what is real!

problem is...that it takes a goodly developed soul, an older soul, to see that whole wall! our culture is outstripping the collective age of all our souls! like of a job description that ever ever increases the educational level needed! a job now demanding at least two years of grad school, where many of the workers have only a 6th grade education!!

Saturday, February 15, 2003

the fat lady Sings and waddles!!

Yesterday at the caferteria, i saw something that got my Attention really good: there was a booth near me and a very very fat lady struggled to get up and leave her meal. waddle, waddle, i could see that she weighed about 350 lbs and her ankles were shot. she could barely get around, barely get out of this booth!
I heard the "peanut gallery" scold......"surely surely she could eat one less cookie a day and lose 50 lbs, surely she knows her weight is killing her slowly!"

suddenly i remembered what a Guide said, speaking through a medium, telling the class about "past lives and karma"....telling this class about a person who was very overweight and was so because he starved to death in a past life!

There and then i had a small "movie in my mind"! I saw some nameless tribe in Old Africa, near the sahara desert, a place where FAMINES are as common as rain in England! I saw in my theater-mind, a person who lived ten adult years eating *just* enough to only delay starvation-to-death! ten years of being very very *very* hungry, and dying of starvation in the end. every moment of each and every day was filled with a deep deep physical hunger for food food food food foood! a burning gnawing of a hungerpang that never ended.

and the life after that one too....
and the next life, also!......

once, when i moved back to tallahassee, i looked all through the want ads, daily, for a place to rent while i was crashing with friends: took me several weeks to rent an apt. But i noted that once i found a place to rent, each and every time that i picked up the Democrat newspaper, i immediately went to the want ads: took me another week before i stopped looking....takes the ole basketball several bounces, before it stops, after i stop dribbling it!
too, i once was out of jam for a week, and once i bought a jar of jam..... why the next time i went back to Publix, to buy something, why i bought another jar of jam! and the *next* time i was there, i bought yet another....eventually i had five jars of jam in my cupboard, as each and every time that i went to buy something, the memory OF "I AM OUT OF JAM" WAS STILL THERE!!

Thus i imagined a hunger that went on each and every minute for ten years...wake up hungry, go to bed hungry, die of hunger! never never eat enough even when food was there!

I really then thought about that term "overcorrection"
like in "thesis, antithesis, synthesis"...or perhaps how if i shoot an arrow at the target and miss by a foot to the left, i will overshoot, to the right on my next shot!

so.Just what would five lives in a row of an all consuming HUNGER do to *this* life, a life where food is availible everywhere and at everytime and the $$$$$$ to buy nearly anything?!

gotta overcorrect! a hunger that is so so deep and being full is not an option to even slow down!
one has to overcorrect, perhaps, in ONE lifetime, or else take 20 lives more just to slowly work it out "rationally"! In other words, this 350 lb lady could be working out 20 lifetimes, where she would not have to incarnate on earth for 20 lives, by weighing 350+ lbs, NOW in this life!

thus i really now have an Issue with the Food Police that rail against our overweight society! we, who need to, NEED to overeat: just HOW else can the extreme "right end" be balanced?!
I now know that there are people out there who starved to death in many lives in succession and that memory is deep deep in the bodysoul!
thus......when i now see a person get on the bus and this bus tips sideways about three inches: that person has a cane as his ankles and knees are near-gone, i can well see that he may actually *NEED* to gain another 80 lbs! gotta overcorrect a profoundl overbalance: d-e-p-r-i-v-a-t-i-o-n!

thus, if a "food moralist" would "force" her to lose weight, and without her UNDERSTANDINGS of the process of "why" she was overweight, why she *might* have to incarnate that 20 more lives and that food policeman might have to incarnate those 20 lives with her, as he RUINED the soul-lesson for her, by getting her to diet-without-her-understandings, spiritually, of the process as to why she was overweight!!

Friday, February 14, 2003

I am still in the midst of my computer upgrade.....takes all my time.

ya know, i was a year ago in one of those computer software stores and as i was talking to the clerk, a lady stormed into the shop and she ranted and ranted about
"how this here XXXXX computer shop sold me a used computer and there is no music"!

some more.

she stormed out. the manager looked at me with a Knowing Look, and told me, more or less....
"I guess she thought she was buying a TOASTER: just plug
it in and turn it on...."

I said...."well, i guess the good thing is...that this computer will teach her how to think: develop her mind, it will, as she has to learn all about the zillion little things about every little Configuration and settings"!

grow them brain cells and neurons now: buy a computer!

Tuesday, February 11, 2003

If reincarnation be true, the the world that you leave to your great great grandchildren, could just be to you!

----i like that one!

Saturday, February 08, 2003

all my time of late seems to be Devoted to getting my new computer to work!! The woork only begins when ya get it!!

The lookingup, on the where i have not been posting much in my journals! why do i spend SO much time and effort and $$$ on a computer upgrade? why did i buy a 40 gig hard drive, to replace my old 4 gig drive: TEN times the size!
In light of what spirit tells me that my death departure time may only be two to four months away: why indeed spent so much effort?!

the clue might be in that hard drive "ten times the size of my old one"!
Sam, my childhood friend, came to see me from heaven, once, about four years ago, to tell me that time in heaven runs about ten times as fast as here on earth: one year here, is ten years there...if i come to live near sam, four years after he died, then he would have lived in heaven 40 years!
"Bollengien tower" [sp]!! that was the physical tower building that carl jung built before he died, it was a model for his soul getting ready to die and come to heaven. had to be done
PHYSICALLY, by a correspondence of analogy.

my computer, probably too....!!

Thursday, February 06, 2003

I was reminded, the other day, about my article that i once wrote to a newsgroup. A newsgroup of Autistic people support. someone, there, asked...."my son has been diagnosed with autism, help! Please give to me some advice"!
I thusly warote the article that is below.

MY autism probably is where my soul was too too big to fit the brain: old souls step out of the Boundries, in everyway! like take a 4 gig hard drive of a brain and then open 8 windows, eight programs, all at once, on your desktop: all 8 programs have to dance on that little old 3+ gig space, so an"illegal action code...shut down" error messege is sure to soon soon follow! I need a 40 gig hard drive but i have that 4-gig brain!!

anyway....the article.

advice to parent with autistic boy


Someone from some newsgroup...asked me a question
about their young son who had just been diagnosed with
some type of the spectrum of Autism.
they asked....
> as we go into teen years is there any words of
> wisdom that you might have for his father or myself?
i was a bit taken aback to,one...i never
married or had kids...and two...i am not a counselor
by profession. i am only a person with a bit of HLF
or aspers autism!

but i said something....
and got into it.
i might as well share what i wrote, to you all...maybe
there even might be some help given!

with that goes!!

my....what words of wisdom can i give in one minute or

actually, i can give some general advice...

[to give to me reinforcements to write MORE than a one
minute reply...i will write this out to a larger
audience and then remove your personal references and
then post it to a few autistic groups...]

I can IMAGINE the steps of Discovery!

first, your son was seen to be "different".

then there was the taking him to see the experts and
then the diagnosis comes.

there IS Relief...the Demon IS named; there is now a
label that you have that is a kind of handle for his
Of course, your concern has been allevieated; but it
also has grown.....WHAT OF HIS FUTURE?! how can we
help him to be able to live?!

then you go through those "several steps of mourning"
--grievings...sadness...anger...then Healing!!

I sorta see this boy in front of me. he has a label
to his condition.
however...the label "house" refers to a building that
one lives in; that one word "house" covers about
ten-thousand kinds of dwellings!!
thus "aspergers" or "high level funtioning
autism" a label that will cover MANY kids of
brain conditions.

simply put...the "trick" of helping the to
MAXIMIZE the Talant-aspect of his symptons, and to
MINIMIZE the "negative" aspects of his conditions...

as in like of this:
some A people think mostly in image of
me. perhaps there is a career, like graphic arts,
that would be a natural for this person. if the mind
is good, a high IQ...perhaps the computer programing
field will do...look at Bill Gates!! i read that some
people think that he has HL Autism!!
yes, accentuarate his Strengths, whatever they are,
as each Autistic person will have a different symptom
spectrum. thus...go find out what his strengths are,
though offical testings or by just observing of him!

either by his changing of his envirnments...or by of
a changing of his attitudes...he can minimize the
impact of the "negitive" aspects of autistic symptoms.
if loud noise bother...he can avoid or wear earplugs!
He can put himself in social areas where only one
thing will clamor for his attention at a time.
teaching him some of the social graces and the
language of person to person non-verbal language...may
help, as he might have to LEARN counsciuosly what we
all[you all!] take for granted, and know from birth
often one can only do or think one thing at a time,
like me....and have a very short term memory.
this person should not be a waiter in a resturant!!
try to make his childhood sheltered in some ways to
keep the stress of copings down. then teach him to be
able to do that for himself: an
example......[speaking for myself] image-only
thinker may find that
there should be ONE physical area of his home [maybe
his room] where there should not be ANY change in the
room arrangements over time, down to the MINUTIST
small piece of paper! that outer room will be a
butterfly-wing mirror of his inner image of that
room----changing the outer room will cause a great
conflict within him as now the outer image is in
conflict with his inner image...of that room!! this
room area will be his "security blanket" whenever he
is stressed...he can go there for shelter, if he is
overcome by something in the house, for a few minutes. son may have sensory overloads...he may hear
sounds that you may not notice...he may put those
hands over his ears, at a noise that you may think is
a soft sound!

so...above not "put him down", or tell him
that "he should come around", or that "you can tough
it out, a real man should not be bothered by THAT"!!
for in the example above...if he contorts with pain,
holding his hands over his ears, at the sound of ICE
falling into a glass, as if he were being ATTACKED by
a hand grenade...why,
he *IS*!!
for HIM, as severe as that, really really!!
...that sound may be that overwhelming to him on a
real physical level!!
thus, well-meaning people who criticise him for being
so "sensitive"...that may well hurt his self esteem!
would YOU not feel good about yourself if you grew up
in a color-blind family where only you could see
orange and all the other members of the family could
not and they teased you without remorse about your
wierd talant!! not let the "doctor-speak" overwhelm you.
some of those so called experts may know next to
nothing, really!
be carefull about drugs...if they help, there is
always the side effects to aware
that he WOULD be more sensitive to the effects and the
side effects of drugs!

and keep connected , above all, to these here SUPPORT
GROUPS!! get HIM to be a part of them too...if he is
computer funtional. why on is a
list for autistic college students!....

my final but most important advice may be.....
the REAL experts in this...are the parents who have
been there, before you, several years ago...who now
have 15 year old...18 year old..children who have
autism. they have been there and done that...and they
may have very very good advice and counsul for you
with a younger child, as they have been though all of
what you are NOW going through!
THEY are the ones that you should get to read about
and to know and to get advice from!!

sigh...i am not a Talanted Therapist...and i think
associational only...thus my suggestions are only
hit and miss general suggesstions...i am sorry but my
own way of thinkings get in my way...but i hope that
my sugesstions may help a bit!


Monday, February 03, 2003

I spent SO much of my morning doing "maintainance" on my weblogs, that i have little time to write!
...that reminds me!

In my years of reading books that were of channeled and Spirit-given material, one sentence stands out, for me.

"the earthplane is where one Asseys how to live"!

...the guide went on to say that the earthplane is where one gathers material and experience, so to bring it to the spirit world, after death:
*then* the real life begins!! there, you DO something with all that prep and material that you gathered, while living on earth! Obviously, while the earthlife is SO minute, compared to "eternity/Infinity", this little life of prep, here, will color *ALL* of the thousands and thousands of "years" in the heavens, in many many heavens!

be like a student going to the art supply room, to gather crayons and paper. then she goes back to class and spends the rest of the hour-period of class just setting up the stand, for the drawing. nothing was ever drawn, understand! the actual drawing will be done in tomorrow's, and the rest of the next wo weeks, hour time periods. thus, this first class is in *just* getting ready to draw!

yes, everything i do, 80% of it is "preparation"!
life itself is *PREP*!!

the Puritans are right: life is prep for heaven!!

Saturday, February 01, 2003

the seven killed astronauts, over Texas!

I guess we all will have a Respite from the constant news of impending WAR! time for a good wake! every magizine, from now on, for the next three months, will have a Commemoritive Issue! every newspaper too!
wanna watch Discovery channel or The Game or MTV? NO! you will watch a three hour interview withThe Mothers, talking about how He so loved a certain kind of hamburger and then it will be for sale in ALL the hamburger places!
we need this: a collective wake of three months! too too much war war war news, each and every day, now, for months!

I got a funny feeling, sports fans, that the whole year will be of this: a wake for this or that!!
for people.
for institutions that pass on....
for other things.

the feelingtone?
...on a nice warm afternoon, a long talk in the cafe about "it", it's passing, the Recollections of it's past, the re-unional feeling of a family reunion after a funeral of a beloved close relative!
the whole year, for all of us, about "this or that", as if everyone just "knows' , on this year,that an age is passing, the sun is setting, on us, our life, our very civilization, perhaps!
now I can imagine what i should be praying for, in the next few months, in regard to..."what should i do to get ready to die"?!!

"few months" now, today, on the new moon, feb 1st, there might be three to five months left! waht can i do to get ready, if i am Told that there is nothing more here on earth to do? well....
"a few months".... of *course* grace can be given, to extend longer, but somehow, i have the Feeling that this date is Set! set way back before i was born, set into my life-records, either by me or by my masterGuides!

So now i know what to pray for!
---to ask of Spirit to "enlist" into each and every heavenly, of healings and counselings and consolings, for newly arrived souls from earth. Surely i have joined up with many of these, in other lives: there are undoubtedly "new" ones, set up in spirit after i was born, these i need to join and better to do it while i am still alive so that there will be the earthly vibrational connection, so to connect with other newly arrived souls.

i so then Ask to join up with any and all "groups" in heaven, in the spiritworlds. probably some of these groups *you* might not like or appove of, and would not even want to set foot into their temple, ever...ever: no mind, I will have to Enlist.
....Klu Klux Klan....Goth....hip-hop....Jehovah's witnesses...scientology...National polish polka association...Greenpeace....Army rangers/Spec ops!...Vegans...
[does not matter in the *least* if these are "opposesed" and contidictory to each other!!]
the national association of beef cattle raisers vs the vegans!
each of these earthly groups have their spirit counterparts, "above' in the afterlife realms. i gotta sign up today, if i am not already!

the Trick be able to assimulate the Truths that *each* has, and synthesize! [yes, sports fans.....even *that* group too, the One that You Do Not Like!!....i will have to learn to love it!]