Friday, September 19, 2003

I sat, yesterday, at my apartment writing table, on the fifth floor of "Georgia Belle apartments", for a bit, writing my aunt in upstate new York. I could look out over the canopy of the rainforest that covers most of Tallahassee.
I have been there, now, for about a week. Feels "funny" being 62, and one of the youngest there. I note that I have to be very very careful what I talk about, to the other seniors. They each know all too too well that they are "old", and they know that the End of Their Conveyor Belt, is near! They each know that residents "disappear" in a one day notice, and then next week the cleaning people come and ready the apartment for yet another tenant! I have awoke, already, to the sound of an idling vehicle
at the front of the building, at, say, 3 A M.


---sometimes they go off for a day, sometimes they do not come back! Some "disappearances' are due to the Next Stage on the Conveyor belt: NURSING HOME!

I can see already that I see about the same 30 people all of the time, out of the 150 residents. Many never leave their rooms, I guess. Or else come down for certain activities that I do not go to. There are quite a few Activities, and there is a ready bus stop, to go to the six-blocks-away, senior center.

but what the residents do now, is a reflection of what they DID, all of their lives. There is a painter living here: he teaches art classes. There is a "social activist" here too, working now for "senior rights"! There are many many "little old ladies", who outlived their husbands, and now are "top producers" in the Rumor Mill! "gossip" is life, to these people: lots and lots of time on their hands and if they were to think TOO much, they would have to think about that Tombstone that is at the end of their personal conveyor a-pushing them down the Genetic path to "old age"!
Yes, there are lots of Bible study groups too. Church services too. [this "towers" is owned by the Westminster Foundation, the "corporate arm" of the Presbyterian Church.]
unfortunately, many of these older ladies, and men, are somewhat BEYOND 'thinking", as the Senile-ness of alcheimizers/Dementia have already appeared, to some degree.
they have a saying there.....When in the middle of a conversation, some topic or name just is not there, the file is empty, the memory is gone.
the saying is...

"a senior moment"

I, genetically, could live for *quite* a few years yet, at 62, I am one of the youngest there!

I ponder the Message of what happened to ALL the people that are my relatives and close friends: they *each* had a year, from 12 to 16 months, that final year before they died, a year To Get Ready, I guess. A special year, particular to each person.
---my friend Sam: worked 100+ hours a week on his farm, and he fell off his tractor and broke his neck, then he had 12 months more to live, paralyzed from his head down: NOW he had plenty of time to "Think", as that was all that he could do. He Accepted Jesus as his savior, a couple of months before he died.
----my father. Nearly died in the Intensive care, of a heart attack. He asked to see me and I came 1200 miles, and had a wonderful reunion. Dudley forgave me, there was lots of love...He had turned against me, after the death of wife in that car accident. Spirit gave to him one year [14 months] so that he could make amends with his son.
----Mom. I spent part of a year with her, her LAST year alive, it turns out. She broke her foot, end of September of 1974, and she had a 100-cat, show cat, kennel: I came and lived with my mom, becoming "15" again, taking care of her cats and re-uniting with her. She died 13 months later, when that sports car came over into her lane at 120 MPH!
----there are others. Nearly all the people that I know.

Once in a while, sports fans, I ponder what MY "one year" will be like?! Surely I will have such a year too. Even that time, in 1998, when I was "supposed to die" but was given more time...I was living in my hometown for about 16 months, my "special one year" getting ready to die a year later.

so what will be this special year, tailored just for me, by spirit?!
........I might just be finding out?!


well been about six months or more since I upgraded my weblog to the "Pro" version. They might transfer me to the "plus" version, then I might then be able to add
to my weblog, viewable, probably only in the actual weblog!
[copies often get posted into my Livejournal Journal, the photos will not go there.
anyone in Livejournal can just click on this link
Maybe in a week or four, photos might appear, probably at first, only graphics from the internet!