Monday, August 04, 2003

Synchronism, oh synchronism!
I had one yesterday, a Big One!!

I came to Tallahassee in 1960, to go to college, FSU. My parents dropped me off at the dorm, me without a car and 1200 miles away from home. Tallahassee is *nothing* like upstate new York, was a very very mysterious city to me. The southern vegetation...the southern stations signed off with "Dixie", in 1960.
Sometimes on the weekends, I would take walks around the city, in 1960, there were no malls, all was downtown, could walk anywhere. There was one house in particular, that struck me as being a SYMBOL of this strange, interesting, part of the country! An old 1850 precivil-war house, with a low stone wall around the front of it about two feet high, made with, I found out later, cemented rocks from ship ballast. The first owner was a ship captain, I think, and he got the rocks from ships that dumped the ballast just for him, ballast from, perhaps even his home city...Edinbough Scotland!
Looked to be "old family" house, to me!
So one October 1960 day I walked past it and I could see, in the yard behind, a ten year old girl in a 1880 creniline, "southern" skirt, with a 1880 hoop: she was rolling that hoop just like in the photos from 1880!!
a real girl? A ghost?! I, being 19, I did not ask...she looked real enough: a time warp...she was living in 1880!!
*that* was the tone of this house......

Over the years, I lived in Tallahassee, on and off: about four years per ten, and *this* time, I have lived her for about five years straight. The house sat empty all of most of this time, I figured the owner was in a nursing home or tied up in Probate. Recently the house was fixed up a bit. Surely old money, and old Founding family, owns it.

this house was...and is...*the* symbol, for me, of the "mysteriousness and wonder" of this Tallahassee part of the country.

Yesterday, on my walk to Barnes and noble coffee shop, I passed this house like I always do. But today I noted something: on one of the two "posts", besides the entrance to the front door...on top of the cemented one-foot-square, made with cemented Scotland rocks....were about a dozen pennies!
All of a sudden, I had a "Spiritual Knowingness"! That someone left a penny there and other people saw it and then they, too, left a penny! One penny per person: a kind of "homage" to the spirit of this house. I reached for my wallet, as suddenly it was apparent to me that if I were to give my penny to the pile, I would be furthering my homage, not to the house as such, but to this Tallahassee area of the country! A kind of "belongedness" I would feel, by my contributions. I would be "contributing" to the "spirit" of all the creative people that I had made for friends...the mysterious plants and atmosphere...the spirit of the nice things about the Past...and of my own contributions that I made, here, over these 43 years.

I *ALWAYS* have at least a penny in my wallet: not today though!! I looked and looked, not a penny to be found. I was mildly shocked: I always always have a penny, if not six of them, and surely, in my five years, this is the very first time without a single penny! Not only *that*, I had not even found one on the sidewalk, I always pick them up!
I walked away.....
and...Suddenly, I *knew* that spirit had "set me up"!!
set me up to tell me a message!! Made very SURE that I had no more pennies....
made sure that I would have none to give....

---and the Meaning became Clear:
No more Tallahassee for me: it is over...over!

1..I could soon move into one of the senior towers, perhaps the 5th floor, far off of the ground.
2...One of the senior "towers" is Verona Village, near my upstate new York town.
3...The closing could be far far sooner than December and no tower would have an opening, so that I have to move away from the city...never...never, to return!
Move to some cheap town, far away, or back to my hometown.
4..As I walk across a parking lot, Lightning could zap me: a million volts on my head...Relocate to HEAVEN!

----at any rate, this Spirit-Given message tells me that my Tallahassee, creative days
are over and done with: I am still here but "sitting on the bench in the bus station, awaiting *a* bus, the "unknown" bus, to an unknown place"!!

been a nice 43 years: I wonder where next?!