Monday, June 23, 2003

I find *writing* to be a difficult thing for me! Yesterday i had about 30 minutes to toss out something, here, about "rap music". I butchered my idea! I say that because the only thing that i did was go to give hints as to what I wanted to say and the actual Idea would take about 50 pages of text to perhaps flesh out properly! there *are* ideas where the idea is like a woolen sweater, where you ask me for the sweater and I rip off of it about 40 threads, picked at random, leaving 99% of the sweater in my hands!
i have often gotten 'smallflamed', here, on my weblogs, for saying something that i really really did not intend as my writings sounded a bit "onesided" as of COURSE they would be as

a tree has, say, 6751 branches, and I break off about 23 of them and give them to you.

comes with AUTISM i guess....

I think in images only: maybe I really really oughta write only in images.

try a bit more...about my Stance on "rap music"!

I see a kid, standing on the Corner with earphones and cd case, listening to "D J Cool".
I can hear the music, even with the headphones. Sounds angry. angry in a not so rhythmic way.
Lets check his life. everyone is "on him", in his life. There are six kids and mom, in the apartment, no father present. a tiny apt. Think: "seven cats and one food-dish", or "seven vines climbing up the tree towrds the light, only room for one vine, really"!
...shopkeepers push him out of their shops for loitering. people push him for grades and behavior.
....he is Black, second tier on the Totem pole of race.
...and 567 more "pushes"!!
Like that red Qween, in the Looking Glass, where she has to run run run, just to be only standing still, this kid has to push push push, to have S_P_A_C_E!!
that "anger" *is* that pushing!
pushing against the Mass of things, institutions, and people...who would "diminish him", make him "unaware", make him a smaller "nothin"!
"I AM" he yells.....he has to shout it, and shout it constantly....

all increase of consciousness intails Sufferings and any Increase of growth intails yet more Pain and sufferings. when ya did nothing, but feel inadaquate...this is "the BLUES"! the blues *music* that is....
"blues" as in "Mississippi 1955 where you work all day for the Man and whitey has it all and you will die as a nothing and there is nothing that you can do to change anything"!

that energy, of this changing, this sufferings of growth of awareness, *is* the anger of rap!
"anger" because there is "resistance' of the "denying factor" of everything around ya!
As if life were to deny your very right to BE! be Somebody, be someone, in our ever-increasingly mass-mind way of life! gotta write, or graffiti, your initials upon the tree of life, or ELSE!
Else become asleep, wither in awareness, and die! die in the very Soul, as "die" means..."become uncounscious"! to drown in the mass mind and become only that, one of the unaware herd!

this *IS* what the anger is all about.!

probably in five more years ALL our music will be "rap-hiphop"!