Friday, May 30, 2003

I made a forum moderator unhappy, as I posted something that was not of their URL for my weblog.
I wrote back and told the person that I have Autistic problems and this hinders me in communications...

this reply, to that letter, is her letter..."please don't leave"!
I wrote back, explaining some of my slants on "Autism" to her....
the letter, I reproduce, in part.......

--- XXX wrote:
> No, I don't think you should leave -
> . We
> have had members here, in the forum, who share the same
> "disadvantage" [ AUTISM ] and some have this

too...I only type 5 words per minute and I cannot afford the chance to try DICTATION SOFTWARE, as my disability pension is so so small. thus I have a zillion thoughts, mostly in images, and each of these images *are* linked together, in an associational link-pattern, such that my "story" is such that I would have to give *all* of the inter-relating links pictures, in order to tell the story! be like you asked me to see my sweater and I yank off one thread and give it to you: you gotta have ALL the threads, or none, of the threads! thus my 5wpm typing speed kills my story images such that I only end up telling just part of a story thus what a person reads is just a part, thus the topic looks stilted and often smells of "bias and bigotry"! my father could
often talk non-stop for four hours and he talks every word, the listeners say not a word! He was a Storyteller and he often held court in the 600 people small town cafe or pub! he would tell Indian stories and geology stories there. tens years after his death, me, in this small town pub, heard a man who was so impressed with Dudley's stories. On this occasion
Dudley did indeed talk four hours non-stop and when he had to get up to go, why one man turned to stare at the wall, speaking out loud and speaking for ALL the ten men present..."its too too bad he had to leave: I wanted more"!!

so WHO, these days has the time to listen or to speak?!

Dudley was my father, also a bit "autistic".
I could tell stories for hours and talk about my visits to heaven where it would indeed take four hours to tell just one dream, a dream that I may have written up in 400 words, killing most of the feeling-tone, of the reality that I had been too.
[i tell NO ONE, my dreams as no one is interested, in the city around me: but i do not dispair as i "am a 10th grader in 1st grade" this physical earth school and *most* people are in the 1st...2nd...or so, grades and they NEED to be physical! I was once such a first grader, many many lives ago, when i was surely the village rapist or the Killer or the stealer of other men's wives...or some other wretched incarnation: just as all the young souls will some day all become 10th...11th...12th, even College grads, some incarnational days!! so 90% of the earth's peoples *ought* to be "bank tellers...livery drivers...where "length, breadth, height" count 100%, for reality-basis!!]

my own slant on autism is that there are two soul-types
that come into bodies, with that condition.

1...the very *very* young soul, "just off of the boat", maybe a first time incarnation OR perhaps a second or fifth incarnation, where the Primal Innocence was SHATTERED by some very 'bad death" or some traumatic
event, where there was little "old soul" experience
to deal with it so that the person basically comes into *this* incarnation in a state of shock!!!
[perhaps the "IQ 40" version of autism, where about 60% of autistic people also have low IQ]

2...the other type of autism is the "high level functioning", or the case of, where the person is very "verbal" or high IQ...."ASPERGERS".
This is where the soul is SO old that the brain shorts out!! be like having ten programs open at once on a 4 GIG hard drive and thus windows goes into a "illegal action code--shut down" error message as two programs try to dance the dance on a dance floor about
two feet square!
too...the old soul's incarnation uses talents that are "spirit...ual", thus the poor processing brain must , at the same time as using five-sense-inputs, must also use the Psychic-etheric inputs from the Spirit worlds!!
Thus there tends to be problems with "brain processing"!
---this type of autism is the territory of geniuses and
gifted people.

I, myself, like temple grandin, think mostly in images and I have to really be careful eating with people as it is "food OR talk" not both at once as just how CAN I eat while "in" the world that I an seeing, in a mind-picture?!

often there is a bit of "anger" that seeps into my postings and writings as the anger is real but it is not anger towards anyone, it is the anger that comes from being frustrated with trying to get out my thoughts!
just TRY sometime, to sew with a needle and thread, your clothes, wearing thick boxing gloves on your hands! you would get very frustrated, perhaps, and maybe angry!

I have actually read, from a spirit guide, who told the Class, via the medium, that many old souls are angry but that this anger is removed, in heaven, after they die, as the anger is the anger of having to try to function in the physical world, which is very very hard for an old soul to do! this Guide used the analogy of a person deep sea diving, wearing a 400 pound diving suit! he walks around on the sea bottom and one can imagine how difficult it is for him to DO anything! so I get frustrated in my trying to talk, or even to think, and my frustration-anger thus appears in my communications with others! just imagine a STUTTERER trying to talk fast!! I am a "stutterer" of my soul, in my soul, in as far as I relate to the material world!