Tuesday, April 08, 2003

yesterday was a strange day for me! I went to the social security office to begin the Process of getting my social security at 62!
I spent an hour or more with a lady, filling out forms.
that night, i got my mail. in the box were three letters.
......the first letter was a letter from the social security office headquarters, telling me about how much i could get if i applied at different ages...62...63...64...65. this letter comes about three times a year; has NOTHING to do with my visit today.
.....next letter was from one of my two aunts, in upstate new york. she writes about my other aunt and her Husband. he fell out of bed and broke his nose...an old man of 80 or so. they took him to the hospital and they had to tie him to the bed and SEDATE him! he more or less , i sense, wants to continue to live as *if* he were 30, *OR* to die. [his 'death preparations" must be Zero!]
here is a man who lives only in the physical world and chooses all choices as if the tombstone were a dead end.
Period: "end of discussion" he would say!
........the third letter was from an Aquantance, from another city, who is about 68 and he works in a far off expensive city at minimium wage, living in his car. i wrote to him last week, telling him that..."all those years working as a very very high paid construction man, with the Union...your social security must be very very large...time to check it out!
his letter that i got says....more or less....I am a moth that flies around the light of life till it is over, then it IS over. [life is work, i will work till the end] the coffin eats....there is NO MORE! he writes how he will never never EVER check out the pensions and SS!! he hates the government!
[he is *very* "right of center"! feels a woman's place IS to cook and clean and STAY h_o_m_e!!!!!!!]
end of discussion, nothing more that i can say!

[betcha these two men are the tip of an iceburg that is about the size of Greenland or Anarctica! ...of all the men in this country!]

so what does this syncronism mean to ME?! ?????
...does it mean that my attempt to get SS is a fool's errand as *that* infers that i will live a few more years?!
....does it mean that "i am to 'work" for a long time: i will live to be 80 or so!?

? ? ?
be a while before i feel an answer to this one!