Friday, August 30, 2002


I am going to cut and paste this whole nytimes article in its entirety, here.
what a lesson for life!
this is what our culture is "suppossed" to teach us...self disipline, the Zen of self-disipline where the control of life is in our INDIVIDUAL hands, and each of us has to choose and to be Centered in focused awareness......

August 29, 2002
the "cuircuits" section of the Thursday new york times

After the Bad Breakup, a Cellular Truce

After the Bad Breakup, a Cellular Truce

FEW months ago, a friend who is otherwise as technologically well endowed as the next guy explained to me why he had no desire to own a cellphone.

He found it irritating, he said, to have his conversations with friends constantly interrupted by nonurgent cell calls. He finally vowed never to join the mobile communications crowd when a loud cell conversation stopped him from hearing the dialogue on the screen in a movie theater.

I harumphed at him, noting it was probably only a matter of time before he too would be seduced by the pleasures and convenience of omnipresent communications.

But something about that conversation stuck with me. In time, I wondered if I'd moved beyond seduction to addiction. And finally, I decided it was over.

Perhaps it was the head-on collision I nearly caused while ordering a pizza. Maybe it was the string of calls from a near stranger who was persistent about getting together for coffee. Or possibly it was just an accumulation of smaller annoyances. But off went the cellphone, and I began to enjoy the new silence.

Things weren't supposed to turn out this way.

When I bought my first cellphone nearly 10 years ago, my intention, like that of many others, was to use it only in emergencies. But the siren call of life beyond NPR in the car was too irresistible. I took to placing frequent calls to my mother-in-law while tooling around the streets of Austin, Tex. They were local calls, and therefore easy to justify.

It escalated from there. I began making long-distance calls to talk to everyone about nothing. I was quickly falling prey to what a colleague calls the Cellphone Orthodontist Principle. As he explains it, this is when you can no longer be in the car without taking the opportunity to make a call. You've exhausted your list of friends and family and you wind up calling your orthodontist from junior high, and saying, "Hey, I love what you've done with my teeth. Are you busy for the next 40 miles?"

I had it bad.

The next thing to go was incoming calls. Over time, I gave my cellphone number to pretty much everyone, with reckless disregard for the consequences.

People began to treat it as if it were my only number. How were they to know? And why should they care? They called that number first because they didn't have to worry about where I might be. The phone rang all the time.

I had hoisted myself on my own greed for conversation. I was being tyrannized by this small obsidian shard, with its annoyingly spotty reception, the dangerously distracting sway it held over me and the gravitational pull that sent it to the bottom of the canyon that is my purse.

Then, in June, came the endless calls from the near stranger. One day brought four messages in a row, each containing real-time news flashes as to his whereabouts.

I knew I had sunk to a nadir one day when I looked over to see my 8-year-old daughter at the piano, playing a skilled rendition of Tick-Tick, one of her favorite ring tones. I didn't know whether to cry or send her into voice mail.

So one day last month I simply turned it off. It remained at the bottom of my purse, inert. No more vibrating little dances on tabletops, no more frantic rummaging through the purse to answer it. I certainly didn't miss it. In fact, I felt liberated to a degree I hadn't in months.

Occasionally I would come upon it in my bag. But it left me cold and emotionless. Seeing it was like bumping into an old flame I had long since gotten over. It crossed my mind to turn it on to see if there were any urgent messages. But I resisted the urge, figuring it would be too late to respond anyway.

Then one evening, a week or so after I had silenced the phone, I found myself in a bind.

My daughter, who worries about me when I'm not with her, was home with the baby sitter. She was accustomed to being able to check in with me on the cellphone. I wasn't planning to be near a stationary phone that evening, and I didn't want her to worry.

So I turned it on. A few seconds later, it rang. As it happened, it was the friend who owns no cellphone.

"I've been trying to reach you for days," he said, not miffed but definitely confused.

"I have a lot of other numbers you could have tried," I reminded him.

As it turned out, my daughter didn't try to reach me that night. There had been no need to turn it on in the first place.

The deadlock was broken. The phone hadn't won, exactly, but I was now willing to negotiate.

We — the phone and I — have reached a cranky truce. The phone is on much of the time now but rarely rings, and when it does, it's when someone really needs to find me. That's because it took only that week to retrain most people to stop using my cellphone as my primary number.

I still make sure the phone is on when my daughter might want to reach me. And quite frankly, it has come in handy when I find myself facing logistical sticky wickets. I appreciate those moments more than I used to. But I also feel as if I have put the phone in its place.


yes, whether in phones, in drugs, in internet porno....or in the whole of lif and our living it....what a lesson is in here!

Wednesday, August 28, 2002

in page....

there is an article about how there is a wonderfull crop circle, in England, and there is a messege in it, given in code, by the Aliens....this article decodes it.
[if the second link does not work...use the first, headline page link!]

THEN I sent a letter to "earthfiles" telling them what i thought about this code decipering.
my letter is below the news quote.

> August 18-19, 2002 - Letter From Earthfiles Viewer who describes
himself as,
> "A large part of my full time job is decoding ciphers and reverse
> communication protocols:
> Hello I have noticed your news article on the Crabwood corn circle.
> Please find below the results of my initial work in decoding the
Crabwood Farm
> crop circle, and the message which it seems to contain!
> Suggestion 1. The circle partially overlaying the Alien visage,
Appears to
> contain digital information comprising of ones and zeros. (Either
Flattened or
> erect corn).
> Suggestion 2. The information is represented in 8 bit data segments
> identical length, all bit positions being equally marked. There is a
> separator or synchronisation bit (ridge) between the 8bit data
> Suggestion 3. It is highly probable that ASCII 8 bit encoding is
used as the
> most common character used was SPACE that is represented by hex x20,
this was
> used to separate the blocks of data segments. (Hex is a convenient
digital way
> of representing the binary information contained in the
> message). The circle seems to be of simple 8 bits binary encoding,
> characters represented by the ASCII character set. The language used
> international English. The Circle is read from the inside out or
> clockwise.
> Suggestion 4. Between each curved line of data, there is an empty
> line.
> The pictures used to decode the text were taken from crop circle
> pictures
> required orthogonal correction to ensure that as a near as perfect
circle was
> presented. This is so that a view directly above of the circle was
used when
> decoding the contents. Simple contrast enhancement was performed.
> The message was decoded by using a marked bit of paper in the
following manner
> |blank|1|2|4|8|1|2|4|8|. The LSB (Least Significant Bit) is on the
left; the
> MSB (Most Significant bit) is on the right. The paper was curled
along the
> empty separator line, when reading the text. The blank part was
> placed ion the synchronisation bits.
> MESSAGE CONTENTS (some missing)
> This is the deciphering of the message: -
> "Beware the bearers of FALSE gifts & their BROKEN PROMISES.Much PAIN
but still
> time. (Damaged Word). There is GOOD out there.We OPpose DECEPTION.
> The message consists of 26 Words, interestingly the English alphabet
has 26
> letters.

Hi , hi all!

yes, crop circles!
I found this article interesting for sure.

[I realize that there is a good chance that this here circle may be created by someone very human, with lots of human help!!]

I am NOT interested so much weather this circle is "real" or not; i am more interested in the Messege, in and for itself, what It infers!
First...Let me assume the "worst", that this messege is really done by a group
of people and not "aliens". Let me assume that this Leader sat in his office or living room and thought up this here neat messege...."lets see now, what will it be....."
His choices would be "not accidental", of course....and *this* is what i am interested in, here!
he would be picking up "what is in the air", reflecting, too, his very own "Personal Demons".

THE MESSEGE: to me it infers a kind of pessimistic outlook: that the good times are all gone and that all of the Idealistic
creative events of the 70s...80s...90s, are all overwhemed by the various Greeds and Misuses, since! Someone is very sad, over how all of the good stuff has been used for negitivities. perhaps he reads how the Brazilian people "need" all of the Amazon rain forest to turn to fields for soybeans, all 15,000,000 poor people really really need land, really need Lives, after all....
soybeans for China! and we all buy Electronics from china, as well
as anything else! thus EACH of us all is turning the Forest into burned land-for-fields! [a newspaper article]
Thus if a forest activist were to buy some shoes or boots, in order to get dressed for to go out to a rally or demonstration against logging
the rainforest: there is a GOOD chance that these boots were made in china! thus he directly aids the logging/burning of the very forest that he is trying to save!!
I read into this messege: "unraveling is to come, soon"! Cultural unravelings...maybe even earthchange unravelings....

--as if the Alien Gift-givers are sad to see their Gifts miss-used by humanity, some of humanity, and that perhaps these aliens are to soon Go Home.

no more crop circles, at least no more crop circles that are NOT "hoaxes"! maybe there WERE "real ones"...but the Givers are Going...

reminds me of what i read, once, about the last messege given by the Sibils of the Temple of the Eylusian Mysteries, at the time of the ending of the Greek classical civilization...the messege said that the Gods of the Sybils, the Givers of the Inspired messegess, were now leaving as the Time of the Way of Life had ended, of the greek
civilazation. "this messege is the last one that we give through our Sybils"...that was the last messege: Temple is Now Closed!

if this Circle really IS a "alien messege"...i find this one omenious!
It is as if the Alien Givers are all about to Go Home: they have given all that they can give, at humanity's level of possible assimulation. their work is done.


If "human-made", this circle...why this circle is really really well-done: must be an old soul who made it. Again, as i say above, this reflects his own pessimisem about our State of Life and of our future. .he is Hopefull, there is still Good out there, but as his e-mail box is stuffed with spam-ads for penis enlargers and Casino
sites....and he sees Enron and Aids-toll rising....maybe he, himself, is about to quit his Programming job and buy some land in the further Scotish Highlands, an old Croft house to restore..."a cabin in the woods", and become a hermit!!

"when all of the Angel-protectors, of a city or of a place, all move out and leave: it is right next to the Time of the End!"....[unknown]


Tuesday, August 27, 2002

second day of classes at FSU. my bus took SO many minutes waiting in line, all those cars lined up for to get to the parking garage!

"the spiral of death"!!

I could see the line of cars, even after the right turn, the 1/4 mile down to the parking garage, they all go. that was after the 1/2 mile wait in the right turn lane. then they turn into the near full parking garage. then they begin this here spirial of death: they spiral ever ever upwards in the Ramp spiral as each level is now full from the cars before them! there are maybe six floors!
round and round ever ever upwards. no room on floor three so spiral upwards to level four and no room on level four so upwards onto level five.......

by the time the Detector indicates the garage is full, all spaces taken, the many many cars in the upward
spiral Have Yet To Recieve This News!!

Friday, August 23, 2002


Well, Sports fans, anyone who reads this: another Vast dream! took me a day or so to find out what it means!
The dream begins where i am driving along a road, alone. Due south. a straight road, heading compass-south. I have the impression that i am driving into the American south, from my hometown in upstate new york. the countryside is lush and green, the sky is clear: this is a lucid dream!
the dream goes on and on and on and on, i seem to stop at a person's house, then drive on, then stop at another place....traveling in stages. At each house there seems to be people there that i know.
People from my life. But i leave then, soon, the journey is more Important than the remaining with them!
[by now it appears that this dream is a Summation of my life; not in chronological order. This dreams infers..."My Life from leaving my 1960 childhood home to go South to tallahassee, fla, to college...onwards to the present time"]
these friends that I stop at, the timing seems to be such that the first people are more "worldly" and the later people are more "spiritual".
On an on the drive continues, the scenery gets more "strange". I finally come to an end of the road, where there is a large lake, the road stops at a dock. about 50 feet beyond the end of this dock is an island with a hut on it. I get out of my car and swim across. In the water, under the water like of a fish, is a large COW! it speaks to me while underwater, speaks in English! it warns me of some "monster" that is near the house, a monster that would, if finding me, would remove me from existance!
[*not* "kill" me, remove "me" from this plane!]
more friends in the house, soon they leave, like I, before, had left all the other friends in all the other houses.
I am now ALONE.
Suddenly, the whole back side of the wall "opens up" into another reality! it is now as if i am in a movie theater, sitting in the rear seats and there is a stage up front, curtains open. On this stage is what i could call a "ball of light". very very bright, not to be looked at. Actually....this was not a "ball"at all! It looked more like of a pillar of flamecolor! Not *in* flames, but of a white-heat firecolor. This pillar also looked more like a column, perhaps larger at the bottom, and about ten feet high: perhaps even a SHIVA-LINGHAM! Suddenly this "thing" sends a bit of itself forwards to over the front row of seats as if it is projecting itself into the "next lower level down", in vibration.
I see some Form, appear. This is a shape of a naked man, but it is utterly made up of FLAMES!
made up of fire! only of fire. this entity, then projects yet another projection forwards towards me, yet another "transformer step-down" of energy, so that now this third projection was now next to me, on my level. I could not really see what this form looked like, too dark at the end of the theater! it began to speak to me, I FREAKED and woke up!!
What was it that IT said?!! I only caught the very very first line or so, of an English-spoken sentence or so...
"NOW it is time that My Projection be brought back unto Me. Yes, Freestone, it is Time that you become I"..... something like that!

shades of hells bells and the movies/books/computer games, of..."Chluthu Comes through the Portal
for my soul... to claim it for Hell!!
------I prayed to Spirit, the next day...for Answers, on this one!!!

last night, the next night, ANOTHER dream! a very very short dream, only two seconds long, but this seems to be the Answer to this Terrifying dream!
I am in a movie theater, middle row of seats, alone. the stage is up front, curtains open. At the left entrance to the stage, partway off of it and partway on the stairs from 'exit left" is a man. an ordinary man. In the very dim light, I recognize him.
He makes a very short quick gesture with a hand, arm partway out. this gesture is quick, but it speaks volumes of information! all at once, in one gesture, the messege is..."you! you, freestone.
Come. Come to me. Then go behind/through me and then Up [ from the physical baba, skywards] and out of the movie theater through the back left of the stage!

no more need be said. the "broken record" spins the same messege, over and over and over......

Thursday, August 22, 2002

eMedicine Journal
eMedicine World Medical Library
THE place to go to, on the net, i see, to read about medical conditions!! This is a site for
doctors and medical professionals. ya better know very very well "medical terms", when
reading the articles.
this was the *only* site that showed to me that I did NOT have a full blown case of marfan's

Wednesday, August 21, 2002

---letter i wrote to a computer game forum....

I lose a follower because I did not have my nose in the walkthrough, as a FIRST

I *hate* that!!!!

Here i am playing this wonderfull game called ARCANUM. In this game, I am a single character, but can recruit up to three or six more followers. then i have a multi-party turn-based group. I am suppossed to get these followers as i play, going from town to town: i can only have just so many at once.

Like in FALLOUT, there is a DOG. a wonderious dog, that i read, from the
helps and the forums..."a dog that i really really need to accompany me on my travels".
---In Ashebury, there he is suppossed to be, according to the help tips...
i get off the train and explore the city and enjoy the exploration. buy sell talk openchests and generally wander about. eventually i come across a dead dog.
I wander on.....i come back to see a pool of blood there, the body is gone.

THEN i read the walkthrough!! it says...."you *must* go to that dog IMMEDIATELY after getting off of the train, the drawf is beating it and it will die very very soon and if you are only a bit late, the dog is dead, even beyond any magic scroll revivings"!!

I hate that!!
I want to play a game to enjoy it and to explore and to progress by my spontanious actions. there is more than ONE game where i soon found that the *only* way to even have me to get anywhere in the game is to read the walkthough spoilers FIRST before doing or saying anything! Play By Walkthrough!

read sentence.
look at screen, move characters.
read another paragraph.
move my characters.
read again another sentence.

taking a trip to Paris and walking the streets with your face in the TourGuidebook, not even wandering off on your own at all!
being a part of a tourgroup, get off the bus and walk herdlike, like a record needle in the Groove, followitg the rail, the trail and NO sideglances permitted, let alone walk off on your own!
those games, when i find this to be the case: my next action is to click on the "uninstall" button!

so i guess i will live without Dog! too too far back to a savepoint.
probably i will not finish this game either, as surely i will come across some
Action, in the main Quest storyline, where i fail to do something and kill the plot!
but i rather play for explorational enjoyment, like of life. NOT to follow some Rulebook to "maximize" my game, according to someone else's mindset!

when i die i will probably treat my heaven like this too, when i arrive: i wonder how long it will be before i Piss off some Guide, or break some Rules, and Lose my Welcome, there, in that heavenland?!
I might enjoy the Place Down Below, much much better!

so onwards with ARCANUM.....until i come up against the plotbreaker, the plotbreaker that any old Arcanum walkthrough will warn me of, ahead of time, IF i were to have this here walktrough right under my nose, reading it *before* taking even the smallest game action, like before each and every mouse-click and keyboard action!! maybe read the walkthrough *as* the game, like a book, and not even buy the game...go to "www.gamefaqs" and read 'em all, all
the faqs and Walkthroughs, and save much much $$$$, not having to buy a single game, or play one, not even to need a computer!!

yeah. read the Tourguide for Paris, in your living room, and not even Go!


Tuesday, August 20, 2002

I went to Germany in my dreams! i wander all around this german city, rode the train, went into a bar. someone handed me some kind of messege or invitation, on a sheet of paper. In german, of course, i could not read it. I had the impression the letter was where the giver of the sheet wanted to invite me to a meeting with him that was more than just to talk at the bar: homo relations!

lots and lots of small questions in this dream!
---how and why "germany"? not in a psy. sense, but this a astral/heavenly place that has german people in it? or is it from some german person's memory-bank? as I dream other people's dreams a lot, often i cannot tell, as i do not see the "self" in these dreams, to tell if it is me or not.
---why "homo"? i would not call myself of this interest, but i know of many aquaintances of like bent, over the years, people i have not sen for years. too...the gay/lesbos ways of life; there are at least TWO
overgeneralizations that i can make, here, that would tend to have this theme seem to be so common in my dreams.
1...[I have read from guides/mediums/psychics]; that there are far far more homo-people, who are mediumistic or psychic...then there are "straight", because the people who are psychic must have both the male and female parts of themselves near-equal in development, in order for the Gifts of spirit to be more usable! our society wants each of us to BE utterly "male" or 'female"...100%!
My astral visits would deal mostly with psychic people.
i read, somewheres..." in the field of Black Magic, the homo people are much much more common"!
I agree, except to add that this would hold for ALL Mage/magik practioners, white, black, or grey!
2...they are, to me, the very most creative! and often old soul. more of a balance, again, when there are both the male and the female present, in the same person. "creativeness" takes part in both sex-slants, at the same time and space!
anyone who is afraid of being "partly of the other sex", must probably deny IMAGINATION also, as if this person Imagines any fantasy at all on anything, that other sexpart, of themselves, would
snakely rear its head for Recognitions!

Monday, August 19, 2002


" I have been especially lucky in my own teachers. The
one who made the greatest impression on me -- the one I'm inclined to pledge to emulate when I make my teacher's
New Year's resolutions -- was a high-school teacher......"

---A quote from the 18th sunday new york times magizine. the write discussed his most favorite teacher, the one that made the most impression upon him, in school!

this article cheered me, made my day! on the link to go to the nytimes site to read it!
here is a letter that i wrote to

this is the commenting system that i use. i like it.

yes hi Haloscan!

I logged in the other day and looked through what is offered, in my account.
When i clicked on the "View/Delete Posts", and the page came up, i WAS AMAZED!!

---here was all of my site's comments that were made, all five or so of them! [just started, thus only 5 comments].

In other words, if someone who looked through the archives for my blogger site, found something
to comment upon, a paragraph from, say, june 3rd, i would see it here in the View/Delete Posts section.
this means that i can actually see all the comments that anyone has posted: that june 3rd comment would have been lost
to me, otherwise, as i do not have to go trolling through a year of archives to try to see comments!!

so i thank you haloscan! i DO belive that i will also cut and paste this letter TO my
weblog, "my life after near death expereinces". maybe bring a few more subscribers to you all! i am not sure if
the "other" commenter sites have this feature, even!


Saturday, August 17, 2002

Today, saturday, i am going to comment upon yesterday's dream writeup, again.
Tis to me a really important dream.

was not the actual dream that impresses me so, it was the Lucid awareness, the high counsciousness that was in it, a dream of all of about 20 seconds long!
again: the dream began where I suddenly was aware that i was driving in a car, on a blacktop road, i could tell, in the dream, that i was heading towards the northwest.
Oh the open space! this road was in a very very open field, and it went straight ahead, over a small hill, out of sight. the sky was open....the feeling, in this dream, was...", open space"! Then i heard the Keening cry of a hawk, overhead, out of sight.
I drove over the rise and suddenly saw that the road ended! utterly ended. the blacktop just stopped, as if someone cut it off like a knife. there was some dirt just beyond this end, the same dirt that is on the side edges of roads....then there was the pasture-grass of the open field! no more road: not a trace of road.
dream ends....

my comments!
---I sensed, in the dream, that this rise was over an Interstate highway: thus this point is a "marking point", of some change-to-come. the road did not merely "peter out", or end gradually, this means that it is *as if* the road continues elsewheres, in another place, another dimension!

---years ago, i was driving on a country road: suddenly i became similarly Lucid-aware! as if something was "pumping up" my attention! I drove over this slight rise, to see that a car full of people had rolled down a driveway and filled the road end to end! I was able to stop in time, otherwise if i was not ATTENTIVE, i could have crashed right into this family broadside at 60 mph! Too, i was irked, in my Unknowing innocence of youth, how my wonderfull increased appreciation of the scenry was ruined by this event: only later, when i began to See more Spiritually, did i Know that Spirit and Guides saw this event ahead in the road, an event that i could not see: they increased my awareness so that i could stop my car in time!
I devote umpteen bytes on this, *as* there is a great similarity, here, between that 30-year ago event
and this dream: Spirit increases my awareness so that i really sense that my road ends and Thus I Can
Deal with it, hopefully!

----the hawk! about 4 years ago....[a long long story]...I encountered, on ANOTHER physical road, on foot, an Angel! he told me of my past, of my present, and some of my future. the *last* thing he says to me is..."look off to the Nowrthwest, can you see the Hawk that i see, that is over the woods?!"
I looked across the half-mile open field, to the woods: i could not see this hawk that he saw.
[northwest=end of my life. hawk=spirit, my spirit, my Overself, and/or its Guides.
the hawk is Invisible, as it is a SPIRIT hawk!]
Similar: the dream hawk is overhead, i could not see it, in my dream. One cannot SEE the lord: one HEARS the Voice of the lord! This dreamhawk is a Spirit guide event. that i am at the end of my earthly road....that is the messege of this dream!

Since all dreams build upon the past's dream symbols, i can read the symbols for this dream, through the events that i have just written up here.....

---yet *another* Announcement Dream, for me: my road will end, on earth, very very soon!

yes, i sorta "apologize" for my long-winded articles: i must be one of the most verbal bloggers!
But it is clear to me: i AM a story-teller and each and every story is SO intersubtle-ly complex, that i NEED to talk for at least one hour do not say one word...and i do ALL the talking!
thus this age is *not* an age for story-telling, as ya gotta bare your soul in 8.559 seconds or else the listener *must* attend to something else!!

Friday, August 16, 2002

someone wrote to me, about "the passing of the gods and the separation of the gods and of men".
gods up there in heaven and us down here on earth, i guess.
> Hi Mr. Wilson,

> You spoke about the "kali yuga", the dark age and
> the twillight of the gods, when the iron rules.

> But could this impression of a twillight also mean,
> that we are the wittness of a dusk ?
> Unnoticed and misunderstood ? That there is a new
> sun rising ? A new earth ?
I, freestone, reply.

Steiner wrote extensively of this, the Passing of the
Communion with the Gods.
--but did they all separate? did they all go away, as
the Moon separated from the sun?
ya know...that communion with the gods was sort of
"uncounscious" as there was little individualism,
little self-counsciousness.
we all walked with the gods half asleep!!

then the moon separated from the sun. Krishna brought
the "i am" with him into the earth, now it was
possible for an individual man to be self counscois.
before that it was "we", the clan. now "I" is...

so now we all have the selfcouncsiosness. but
separate from the gods.

---but of course there is something that they do not
tell you: that some Gods can
INCARNATE. Incarnate into the physical world AS a
so they have not left, not all of them.
like the krishna. he came, 3500 BC.

later, man had grown so that the next adjenda on the
Progressions is called for: the NEED to be
self-counscoiuus after death, to have an individual
awareness, in the afterlife: Steiner wrote of this

so the next Bestowal comes, to bring self awareness
after death, as well as in life.

Jesus Christ.

tis NOT what he taught, tis what he DID, that matters,
as he is a God.

so now each of us has the possibility of having an
awareness, individual, after death.

about time for the NEXT Incarnation, huh?
only takes ONE God to incarnate, as that one god,
really is a Spokesman for all the discarnated gods, up
in the Spirit, Celestial worlds!!

but you have to ask! you have to ask a god to make
contact with you! otherwise the gods ARE separate
from man, in the "worst' steiner fashion! since one
of the gods became a man, all you have to do is to ask
in prayer for this god to come to you, in spirit, and
make conection with your soul and then you have that
hotline to Spirit and the celestial realms where they
are and live. they will become your guides, or more
practically...appoint a master, below them, to become
a spirit-guide for you.
but then Billy graham, in his crusades across
Europe, says the exact same thing!! Billy tells you
what you need to do if you want to have the gods
contact you.

"em pogo nogo"
----If i touch you, then you are touching me...

you and the gods, then!!


Thursday, August 15, 2002


dreams dreams dreams!
another first person, "living-someone-else's-life", dream!
[yes, i am living another person's experiences, as IF i were that person, or using his memories]

i am upstairs in a house. i am full of anger and rage, over something. [not apparent as to what, from my "freestone vantagepoint", the event that caused this anger occurred some time before "I came" into this man's life!]
I sit by the bedroom window and i watch a car pull up to the streetside curb, slowly. "she" is in this car, with other people. She gets out and i pull up the object that i have with me...
A RIFLE. one of those hunting guns or maybe one of those miltary rifles. I aim and fire and the lady bows over and falls upon the sidewalk! then as the man gets out, i shoot again and he falls down.
I then shoot at everyone that runs about near this car and at the people who come over to aid the lady...perhaps another ten shots and several more people fall....
[some time elapses....., in this dream]
I try to run down the hall of this house, try to run down the stairs into the living room, i have no more ammo for my rifle. several men in blue clothes fire their guns at me, from the front door. i am hit by bullets in my stomach and fall down upon the floor, shot many times. i jerk my arms about, in spasms, as i twitch and twitch, blood pouring out all over the floor: sight dims......blackness comes....
dream ends!
oh boy!
The Human Experience! the human experience embraces all kinds of experiences!! who am I to say which ones are "valid" or "not valid"!
Somewheres, in my own past, i musta signed up, in spirit, for to have dreams where i live small "biographies" of bits and sections of other people's lives. since about 1980. about the time of Sai baba, when i began the baba dreams. since he wants me to "help with the progressions of millions of souls"...perhaps he wants me to be aquainted with *ALL* kinds of human experiences.
yes...ALL kinds of experiences...and there are many many that perhaps, you, reader, might not ever want to experience, but i have to, in a small part. I have been shot, been killed by poison, drowned. I have expereinced an ORGY where there were about 30 gay men, naked, in a room: i was one of them. sex sex sex sex, all were writhing together like a pile of earthworms...a collective "oneness".
WHO is gonna take this Killer by the hand and try to help him Deal with his killings and his rages, in his Afterlife. perhaps more trauma-tizing to him; what about when he discovers that there *is* an afterlife, and not only does he have to deal with THAT, he has to deal with his "sins"...AND then he has to deal with meeting the people that he shot and killed!!

probably this dream is a "class action" dream, as when i die and go to school for "angelic aid", and learn about how to help these people, there will be thousands and thousands of these "killers" that will come up to heaven, PER YEAR, from the earthsphere. this dream sets the tone for all of these killers that i will have to try to aid, perhaps, as this dream that i had, surely is such an Archtype for all of them!

Wednesday, August 14, 2002


maintance ate my time! i find that 80% of a day IS maintanence! there is no time to write a journal entry!
i read once..."we are only alive five minutes a day: that is the time that we really live"!

Tuesday, August 13, 2002

the 13th already!

last nigh another dream that i see getting ever the stronger messeges....
seems that about once per week, i have a similar dream:-------about how i need to get away from my friends and be alone!
Finally, i am getting the messege!
these dreams are NOT about how i need to "go off into the desert, alone"!
these dreams warn me not to "loop through a living friend, my "trips""!
---and what i mean by this[ oh words words, they are SO difficult to find: most of what i write of, here, is not taught in high school classes, or college classes!]
what i mean by this is....suppose i am sitting in the cafe, coffee cup in hand. then i ponder how my visions are not understood by many people. then i imagine a close friend who does not believe my visions. in my imaginative state, i then discourse and argue with him, trying to "convince' him of my truth.

as IF he were at the table. right now. that is what i mean by my term "looping".
as if i "need" my friend present, need even to convince him!

Thus if this state of mind continues, for years, i surround myself with mental images of all of my friends and other people, who are "opposed" to my[any] states of mind, and kinda argue with them, in my head.
*very* dangerous!! not only am i also looping through them in my head where i am not "alone", i am also looping ASTRALLY through the living friends as they go about their daily affairs at the time that i am sitting there thinking about them.
----and when i die?!
when i die, if the looping still goes on, i will be attached to them in heaven while they are still on earth!
thus my attention would then still be "looking downwards upon the earth", to have me still keep track of my friends and contrast and compare my ways with theirs! i am thus not *in* heaven, fully!
even when they eventually die, if this looping-pattern is still there in me, why we all WOULD be "stuck" on each other, as the looping would bind us all togther.
Thus, i must free myself from my friends, INWARDLY: not think like they are all around me, in my head!
there. 300 words just to state one small idea! i really needed 700 words, as there is very little "psychological equivalents" in our language that is Spirit centered: thus few english words for all of this!

probably ALL of my blogger posts will be long, in the future, as *all* is so so so subtle, and multi-level complex!

Monday, August 12, 2002


yeaterday, i browsed the magizine racks at Barnes and Noble. there was an intersting cover to a mag called "discovery"! this mag deals with science and technology.
The cover had a picture of ice and water and something about the "Little ice age".

I read this article, that the cover refered to.
seems that a mjor Oceanography institute, near Boston, has the ocean cores, the science, the Results, to make a dire Pronouncement:
very soon and "instantaiinious"! "instantainious" ----as in "a year or so time span"!!
and with in the next ten years.

He says...."take the coldest winters within the last 30 years, in the Northeast section of the country[usa]
and make them MILD compared to what will be and will be for HUNDREDS of years....300 years!"

all of Europe too. make england have the climate of the labrador climate.

one article about this, on the net, is this one at....

When 'climate change' is referred to in the press, it
normally means greenhouse warming, which, it is
predicted, will cause flooding, severe windstorms,
and killer heat waves. But warming could also lead,
paradoxically, to abrupt and drastic cooling — a
catastrophe that could threaten the end of

>>>I hope never to see a failure of the northernmost loop of the North
Atlantic Current, because the result would be a population crash that
would take much of civilization with it, all within a decade. Ways to
postpone such a climatic shift are conceivable, however —
old-fashioned dam-and-ditch construction in critical locations might
even work. Although we can't do much about everyday weather, we may nonetheless be able to stabilize
the climate enough to prevent an abrupt cooling.>>>>

---the above is NOT from the Discovery mag, it is from

William H. Calvin, "The great climate flip-flop," The Atlantic Monthly 281(1):47-64
(January 1998). See also

This is the cover story for the January 1998 issue of The Atlantic Monthly, third in
their series on the 21st Century.
global warming brings cold and ice, big time!!

Saturday, August 10, 2002

I had another "MY LIFE WAS READ BY A PSYCHIC" dream, last night!

yes another such dream. Dimly remembered of course!! In these dreams, often the psychic seems to ramble on and on, where the info-per-minute, is so small, that i cannot seem to remember what was dreamed, upon my awakening.
Anyway. i went to a psychic's house and she had a once-inch thick book where she read, this book, and talked of my life that was written up in this book.
there were only TWO things that i recall that were Important.
----[1] She showed to me a picture of me and her; both of us standing in a yard, where i stood under a tree and she stood off in the distance about 50 feet away. In this dream, i suddenly saw that this tree was my "incarnational tree", that Oak tree in my parent's yard, the tree that has often appeared in my dreams and it means, always..."the tree that i fell out of, incarnated to earth, from"!
the psychic lady stood off to the Northwest, meaning the "spiritual direction", Heaven is in that direction, in my dream symbols. Then i saw a bird flying over my head and then this bird flew northwest to over her head and then it flew further onwards to the northwest tand then it turned around and came back and then it repeated this loop, over and over about a dozen times!
in this dream it was apparwent to me, connected with what she was saying, right then, about where my "next" place to AIM my life at, as this was the "next life assignment"....this bird was like of an "arrow"
pointing the way that Spirit is having me to move to next. to the heaven!

----[2]. Then she tells me....this is THE major messege of this dream!..."This year is the year of the Anouncement." [as if every year, of my life, has a Name, like of a Vintage of Wine!]
she went on...."this [2002] is the year of the Anouncement, the Anouncement of your being taken from the Physical World"! [yes! ---- my dream on may 13th of 2002. "you will begin your Spirit life in one year!!
So january 2002-december 31 of 2002, is my year of Anouncement: i will not die in this year.
THAT probably will be the "name" of the 2003 year!!!!

probably there will be a *lot* of interesting dreams, in the 11 to 15 months, ahead: keep tuned, sports fans!

Friday, August 09, 2002

I put this here HURMONGIOUS link here as it links to a thread-begining, in one thread in the "rpg.comp" newsgroup. IF you can link to it, you will find a thread with over 130 replys.

the whole thread begins about old computer games and the $$$ commercial degregation of the modern games and then the thread really takes off in critiqing classic films made in Europe, during the "classic" period of the 1920s...1950s. then on and on, contrasting and comparing old games and old movies against the seemingly modern way of "promo" and "marketing hype", of "hollywood".

MAYBE the link will be valid for a while after august 9th!

while you read the thread, you can sign up with deja and then POST YOUR thoughts to the people there
as this is just *really* a huge messege-board!

Thursday, August 08, 2002

"When you see that cockroach running across your kitchen floor, and you go over to hit it with the heel of a shoe held in your hand, aim to where the roach WILL be, when the heel comes down upon it.....not to where it is at now!"......unknown

Wednesday, August 07, 2002

hey looka here!
the tuesday new york times science section had an article that says that now they find that the more sun that shines on your skin, the fewer cancers you get!! more colon cancer in the North, for instance!!
soon, nicotine, probably i suspect, will be found to be a life-supporitng substance, like in
the movie ...the "sleeper" by Woody Allen!!
Sunlight, a Cancer Protector in the Guise of a Villain?


in contrast to the often repeated warnings about tanning and skin cancer, some scientists have been
exploring an almost heretical notion: sunlight may actually protect against other cancers.

The idea is not new; two epidemiologists proposed it 22 years ago. Their theory was that vitamin D, which
the skin produces when exposed to sunshine, somehow prevents the growth of malignant cells.

People who live in less sunny, high-latitude regions do not make as much of the vitamin, and so they could
be more vulnerable to tumors, the theory maintains.

see my other news-site
I have this article, there, in a more complete version.

Tuesday, August 06, 2002

interesting little dream last night. I was at my friend Sam's house. I saw Sam ans we talked.
[he passed away three years ago, a few months ago he began to appear in my dreams]
he asked me how he could better "talk with the dead". there was little more that i recall.

how interesting. what this little dream probably refers to is how he could contact ME better, how could i talk back to him and how could he talk to me!!
In prayer, this morning, i went to tell Spirit to give to sam a the effect that sam could go to a school, guild, temple, of how to do this better!

----yes, another example of when dreams are *more* than "just dreams"!

Saturday, August 03, 2002

"A civilization is the most creative when either it is being born, or when it is dying"....unknown!

I recalled reading that line in some 1950s Science fiction pulp mag. An editorial, i think. the author went on to say that society is also creative when it is dying....because the Controls, are gone. Civilizations are somewhat "nazi-istic" in that they ask much of a person's allegience to this society. As if perhaps that civilization comes BEFORE the individual life of the individual person! As if perhaps a person in this society might spend 60% of his effort, in life, to further the life of the society, rather than himself!
[somewhat *the* definition for "nazism"!]
Thus when a society dies, that Commitment obligation is gone, when the cat is gone, the mice will play!
A "proper" civilization might ban what creative people create as it would not be in the best interest of society to tolerate this, as the Ways of the currant society comes first.

like: in the 1950s, a young man is drafted, serves his country. then marries, no "gay" paths or "hippie" paths explored, even if existing as a possibility, then join up with "church/family values. put the family-kids-relatives interests *before* his, put them first, and his own, last.

I feel more comfortable with this dying civilization! The 1950s "psychology of adjustment" would ruin me!

somday i fear, hopefully i will be LONG dead----that a new civilization will arise and it will demand that One Choose Sides, and Join...or be cast out!

Friday, August 02, 2002

Fundamentalism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy

---quote on bloghop front page!
AP news wire, via
----- >>>> Study Links Weight, Heart Failure
Wed Jul 31, 5:14 PM ET

By STEPHANIE NANO, Associated Press Writer

Researchers have found another reason to watch your waistline: Being even
modestly overweight increases the chances of developing heart failure.

Extreme obesity has already been linked to heart failure, but whether that was
true for milder weight problems wasn't as firmly established. ----------->>>>>

hear that roaring sound?!
---that is the sound of thousands of clapping hands, from the Dieting Industry!
Soon, everyone will be urged to have not a TRACE of fat on them.
I wonder how many years it will be before the drug runners will be pushing that outlawed substance----SUGAR!

Thursday, August 01, 2002

ah rain!

Tallahassee is good for that. i always wanted to see what a tropical rainy season is like! 3 to 15 inches of rain per month.
right this second, in the library, i can see about 100 feet out the window; maybe three inches of rain will fall by 6 pm! amazing. frogs in my mailbox and mold that grows on mushrooms! mold on the walls of buildings and it loves old white cars! signs get black after awhile and unreadible.

there are only two kinds of rain here...sprinkle and drench! if ya feel the sprinkle, in the middle of the parking lot and 300 feet to any shelter, just walk slowly as it will do no good, your undies will be wringing wet in 1.056 seconds! sprinkle to drench...
takes as about as long as it does to say it!

I saw once a wall of rain eat a girl!
this wall of rain came across the college green like a wall does. the first sprinkle to drench...was about two feet. the last i saw of this girl, was her legs sticking out of the wall, in a utterly futile runningness, as this wall ate her!
when this wall came to the window, visibility might have been all of one foot! poor girl, probably the center of her books were as wet as the outsides, in about one minute with twenty more minutes to go!
off to her class, no doubt, but all she could probably do is to curl up into a ball on the green: shelter about 400 feet away!

i have heard that near here, once, it rained so hard that it sunk the fisherman's boat!

that weblog generator is neat!

here is one more for ya!
tis from [?]. i think it is from the last few hours, but i could be wrong

i am really really IMPRESSED with all that talant out there. why in the last few hits i got somone who lived ten miles from where the miners were rescued.
then there was a site of maybe 100 "leftist" links.
I am tired of NETSCAPE killing my computer!

---seems that everytime that i find a good link, save it, on an explorer-based library computer, then go to the real Quiet University library, to click on it, the university library uses Netscape: the machine crashes!
Once upon a time, netscape was *the* browser to use! especially for atsey and nerdy types of users!
once upon a time. then Explorer takes over, explorer Rules!
Maybe Opera is the *one*, but i do not have that.
anyway----I will have to wait, i guess, till i find a explorer computer before going to that site: this site will not even come up under netscape!