Saturday, June 29, 2002

well I finally got enough links put up here, in my new weblog, for me to 'advertise" my new weblog!

I got tired of "losing" good links to very Interesting sites that i found! Sites that are not of interest, perhaps, to a reader of my weblogs. too, i have now about ten weblog links, to weblogs, like Lightningfield....that I go to.
...see, this weblog site is actually my personal link page!
maybe there is something there you might like to check out!

I find that i have put up links to several sites that seem sort of "Anti-christian"! I find that my own connection to Spirit cannot go through "priests" or Established churches or paths. Spiritual progression is not a "committee act", as in ....." a camel is a horse built by a committee"!
I -----Spirit.
I note that with many groups there is that "go-with"!
as in.......
----"gotta be a vegan if you belong to our temple".
----gotta wear a veil if you are a woman"
----*this* wicca path means that all other wicca-paths are evil, stay away"!
----"when you join us Pentecostals, you will be speaking in tongues in no time"
Then i ask her[ this is a real event, about 10 years ago, in gainesville, fl!]..."there are the other 6 or so gifts of Paul, what about THEM?!"
Lady replies..."No! speaking in tongues *IS* the sign of Salvation and you cannot fake it, we all know if you do fake it, and if you do not speak in tongues, soon, in our church, then it is YOUR fault and problem and then you must Come Around"!!!!!


I don wanna be a Hostage to Guilt!! your pentecostal heaven would be my hell, if i were to go to there after i die!

Friday, June 28, 2002
temple of set,, has a page "hyperborea" where someone discussess Gurdejieff's
Beezlebub's tales: discussess it and Gurdejieff's Way *as* a left hand path, and a Model for the Setian
looks like very very interesting reading, as well as for the "hyperborea" section, let alone the
xeper site itself: the master homepage for the
june 28th.

happy birthday to me!! 61 years old!!
So what dreams did i have this morning?! Not much of any, but one small snippit did i recall.

there was some discussion, in a room, with me and other people about how my
keeps me from really relating and communicating with people! while no "official" psychologist has
diagnosed me with this condition, i can read The Signs...from my life, from my childhood: the head-rockings, the spinnings, and the school problems, in the extreme right-brainess of my currant life.
tis a small bitch when, if i eat with someone, i have to choose either the food OR the person, not both at once! I cannot image my thoughts AND plce-a-tate my fork just *so* into that tomato slice, positioning the angle of fork-entry between the spaces of the wedge of tomato while listening to my dinner-mate talk
of his trip to nyc: i am *there* with him, in my images...there are NO tomato wedges on the corner of the block that he is currantly describing!!
most people have a window for counsciousness; i have a peephole: only room for one thing at a time!

was years and years till i realized that Names and actors names, in movies and books, are Important!
I failed college miserably: the math and physics have no images for me to picture!

I probably will tell no one of my astral dreams and no one of my year to live! for the AUTISM reason alone!

Wednesday, June 26, 2002

Interesting astral travel last night!

I was with a large group of people, i do not know if they were Spirits or were they other astral travelers who came here from their sleep: I feel that many of these souls were residents!
They were gathered, in this open field, to do some ceremony of some kind where they were going to, as a group, send some of their members present, to ANOTHER astral place...far away in vibration.
I, myself, more or less had to "sign up" with this group [*another* "sign up with some astral group"!]
so that I was one of those who was to be "sent".
this group now did a Meditation, as a group, me and others who were to try to go, were in the center.

slowly i floated off away and up; almost as if i were 'going out of body' from my out of body, body!!
[OBE squared! OBE to a second level!]
there was a moment of blackness, then. i came suddenly awake to see that i had Arrived to where i was sent to; an "alien" seeming place. I was in what looked like a large square stage, about 20 feet to a side. there were tiers of benches all around this sunken stage, and i was on this stage. bounding down from
the top of this level of tiers, was what looked like a DOG! it was not a dog! looked like a Beagle, a large Beagle dog, but this entity looked Intelligent: a sentient being. Some soul from another "earth", perhaps!
[maybe i was in a heaven of another race, another earth, from another solar system].
I sorta then "shook hands" with this "dog". "I made Contact" what this meant.
I then awoke: the dream was over. perhaps i was only to make contact, to arrive there. thus, WHEN i die, i will now be able to go to there anytime.


my second small astral event....
I Went somewhere, in the astral. i capitalize that word "went' as this was no ordinary floating above the scenery! I almost feel that this land that i traveled across was the actual earth lands, but the upper etheric levels of our physical earth, upper levels that are invisible to us incarnated souls. But the land and scenry is visible to me, while in this state of travel.
I was shown that there are "lines". almost like tubes of empty space that are used just for traveling in.
One enters a start-point, then one floats about ten feet off of the ground, facing forwards, then one moves along a kind of "invisible rail", about 20 to 60 miles per hour.
think "2001...the zooming through that tunnel"; but the tunnel is invisible, the walls are clear and the countryside is clearly seen. these tunnels are "dedicated". used only for souls to travel fast to one place or another, on the etheric earth [maybe in the heavenlands too!]. trees and small hills get in the way? No. i passed right through them.

I wonder....
just how long have these tunnels been used? which came first, the railroads or the tunnels?!
I suspect these tunnels have been used for thousands of years. I must have spent several dream hours on this trip: a hundred miles or more! i wonder.....
---i have felt, while driving across the country, places where i had felt that i acually intersected some kind of "line", or "road", where energy or people move on!
---two: As most of us who are "older souls" have probably used these tunnels often, either in OBE or in the heaven worlds between lives, i now can really why the TRAINS have a great Numinousity and attraction for people!! the Romance of the rails! a feeling for trains that can never seem to be there for
a bus or a car! only in my astral case; it is a train with out the train, the seat, the windows! just "me"
moving along at 60 MPH, looking at the scenery!

Tuesday, June 25, 2002

I THINK I SOLVED WHY I JOIN UP WITH MANY astral heaven groups of souls, groups that i do not even belive in!

---Tis came from writing the journal entry from yesterday, where i described how i was Inducted into menbership into a sort of "sex tantra" based lower heaven group of souls!
Journal writing. One of the best reasons to keep a dirary or journal: self-discovery from putting it all down onto "paper" so that one can reflect upon it!
yesterdy's entry, the reflection upon it, I NOW know why I seem to be Inducted into these groups!

Has to do with the *other* small dream fragment that was also in the same night's dream sequences: where i saw Sathya Sai baba walk down an isle to enter upon a stage in order to give a speech to an assembled group of people.

Sai baba once appeared to me, in a dream, about three years ago, and he asked me personally...
"would you like to help me with the heavenly progressions of millions of Souls?"
---baba, himself, is Recruiting!
Recruiting for helpers, probably many, many, many, helpers. The Need will be great, as the 60+ Billion
souls, now on the earth, die of death from old age...sickness...etc...etc...
The "most people ever", on the earth, will ALSO mean..."the most people ever" who enter heaven, day by day: the Need for counselors. healers, consolers...will be very very great!

My Induction into these groups has to do with, i feel, my placement as a kind of "beachead" or entry-point, for the Angelic helpers to be able to relate with the souls in that group that i joined up with, as i will be able to "talk the group's language", and the people in this group will be able to relate to me and thus, then, to the Spirit Guides who will be 'behind' and above me. then perhaps these souls, in this group, around me who desire a 'larger horizen" will be able, with the aid of the Helpers, to go off to "higher" heavens!

yes, i Prayed to Spirit, yeaterday, to "sign me up, please, with any and all such groups that i possibly can be"! ----to be of service to Spirit.

a lament:
I can well see why many people would indeed be Disturbed about the groups that i write about signing up with! I enter into groups that they would NEVER ever consider to be "life and soul supporting"! The very very *last* group of souls that they would have anything to do with!
Yes, readers, many of you will never never have to deal, in your afterlife, with souls from groups like what i have Bonded with [and will, in the future, bond with yet more of them!!] . Feel Blessed that these people will be forever "out of sight: out of mind", to you, when you arrive into heaven and then go to live with your favorite soul's social and School groups!
. Tis appears that *my* soul's Life and belief's, is to
follow the Model of Jesus...where Jesus went to the well of Samaria to talk to the prostitute there.
Jesus might say that "there are no bad souls: even a thief, on the cross, is Worthy of Salvation". Thus, i will have much of my heaven-life living with "dregs" and "dark" souls! many many MANY "wells of Samaria will i visit and live next to, in my heaven life-to-come [ next year!]!! Just feel thankfull, folks, that *you* do not have this Karma/Dharma! I appear to have it so!
Just, then, go to your Soul's Home, after death, and Grow in spirit, in the light and Love, in your path.

---perhaps in a day or two, i will write up my six-months-ago Induction experiences into the astral group of the
Mafia! *the* mafia: not "mafia-like"! Sappronos here i come!

Monday, June 24, 2002


sometimes, with my dreams, i feel like an editor of some magizine, who writes in the introduction to the "letters to the editor" section...."the contents of the letters to the editor do not neccessarily reflect the beliefs of the editor or the Staff, of this magizine"!

first dream last night: i watched Sathya sai baba walk down an isle, in an auditorium, and he got up on a stage to give a small speech! i left the dreamworld before i really heard what his discourse was about!

then in the next dream i was in japan! or some home near my old air force base that i was stationed at back years ago.
[this, when it occurs, *always* means that this locale is in the astral heavenly worlds!]
basicly, in this dream, some "masterlike" figure was interviewing people to sign up for some group or another having something to do with SEX MAGIC! I recall actually seeing applications forms(!) for this group! there were choices of how i wanted to "configure" how much of 'this or that' that i wanted with this group, as i filled them out!
as i rumminated before, here....there have been a number of astral groups that i have "asked' to sign up with, over the years; NOW, of late, the process is accelerating. more and more groups and groups that i would NOT want to ever even want to walk into their clubroom...let alone join!
[like of the "white supremecy" group from "Austrialia", that signed me up: I got a REAL strong flame-letter, over that dream account!! letters like of that one, actually make me *want*
to sign up with the KKK, or some such, as these groups have seemingly far far less "hate" than
of the amunt of hate that some people have against "hate groups"! Once,at a Southern university caferteria table, i sat with a bunch of nothern students. they spent the mealtime putting down the south. one guy said that
"he HATED the south *so* much, because of their predujices, their narrowmindness, their bigiotry,
that if a southerner were to come over to sit at their table; that he would get up and leave"!
[a bigiot against just another bigiot!!!] my year to live passes by, i wonder WHY i seem to be enlisted into these groups?
are these groups somhow tie-ing in with some unexpressed, undeloped, parts of myself?
are these groups just wanting my energy for their own ends?
or of a Darker Suspician: that the more groups that i sign up with, the richer my heavenly life wiill be?!!
I go with that one! a "negative' far better than no group at all, i feel!
the afterworlds value, i feel, "experiences". WE put the value call, by our earthl;y values, on whether these experiences are "good" or "bad", in many cases! who but my higher self, might feel that a "white supremecy group" would be of a very very good experience for me up there?!

---but i gotta realize: that if and when i get there and find a vertable "KKK" world that i can live in, "as an outstanding member"...that maybe SPIRIT got me into this, NOT for my sake! maybe Spirit wants a "worm" or a "mole" in this group!! maybe some of the members of this group are now ready to Move On to a Wider Horizen, and they could use a bit of a "push" or inspiration, from someone like me who is a "mole" within the group, and not some "alien" angel-like figure that this member would only be afraid of and not listen too! he would want to talk to "one of his own" who would lovingly help him to Move On to a wider view-world, away from this group that he is now in.

thus, in THAT way...i will greatly welcome all such subscriptions to *any* group, in the heavenworlds...
a Secret Agent for Spirit, in these groups. ---and all that my critics can see is that i belong to such a group, thus i AM of their cloth...

Netscape once offered me, in a pop-up window, to install all 189 plugins, into netscape, all at once, all 189 of them!! I sorta feel that way about these social groups in the heaven-worlds....let me sign up for *all* of them, please!

so may the enlistments continue and accelarate, if THAT is the reason for my being drafted into them!!
I posted a Computer game article into "comp.rpg" newsgroup, on the 'degregation of RPGs".
a copy of this is in my "Incredibilities weblog".

I like Rpgs.....

Saturday, June 22, 2002

well here I sit with a small "problem"! I got a letter from a nephew(?) of mine, and a small friend.
He told me what he had been doing the last year in a large college city.
months in a mental institution! "maniac-depressive"! badly badly so.
genes and a astrological chart that You Might Not Want---With Transits!----he has.

he also invites me to rent his upstairs apartment in the country, in his country house. about four miles from the nearest town and i have no car!

so How Much do i "help" someone? I may not help at all....Oh there are *so* many things to consider in
anything, any choices!
[why some people actually invited me last month to MOVE out with them just north of Phoenix, in the country, in the Mongollen rim near sedona!! fire away folks, ye invitors....I would be having "fire smoke or worse", now, if i had gone!!]
yes, i can imagine that i would *cook* and stew-slowly in the DE-pression that must sit in that house,
of my friend's! me alone with depression.... and upstate has 200+ cloudy days a year!

so why do i even consider this?!! i often have found that i am the last to know my assignments and i have only a minute to Choose: mostly "yes" , during my entire lifetime!
but some offers are only destractions!

this is where DREAMS and visions can be of the *most* help! what do my dreams tell me, my dreams of the last four months or so....??
---walk alone, from now on....
---one year to live....
I feel a bit like that RPG game,GOTHIC, that i am now playing! the Role demands that i am in a prison camp, and as of yet i have not really been doing the Role that is demanded of me if i were to play the role right: to steal and to beat people up for their stuff!! The "currant demands", infered by my dreams....seem to infer that "i can no longer feel sympathy for, or to "help" someone in "NEED"!
perhaps i must actually now be SELFISH and use my year *only* for myself!
what good would my arrival in heaven be, to consul/console others, if I...I...were not ready and "up to speed" when i arrive there?!

I wonder, sports fans....what would I have Done, about his offer, if i had NOT had that "one year to live dream"? I could well have moved up there! i HAD often, over the years, wanted to!
nice and quiet...pretty countrysides...relatives. lots of good things there.
So now I have that Dream: now tis less than one year, from may 13th!! This Dream, see, will probably be the "occram's razor" that will "decide for me", my future life-choices with! everything must be centered around this dream: every choice, every action that i will do, in the coming year.

thus my dream is *more* "threatening" than an X-ray-with-doctor, that shows to me a Tumor in my brain!
with health-conditions, there is the Possibility for "remissions" or cures!
---but a Revealing to me of my life-plan?! *would* i change this if i could?!! suppose, by prayer, or supplications, i could get Spirit to overwrite the date with a future date. but would i *want* to?!
I set it up, probably for a *very* good reason, a reason that only my higher self and Spirit may know, as that info is hidden in the spirit-world. so i Infer that I Know Best, in the spirit-world; i will NOT try to overwrite this date, by my ego-actions and choices! Tis there for a Good reason ,i infer: accept accept!
stay tuned!

Friday, June 21, 2002

Quiet day in summertime tallahassee. The library is almost empty.

I had a small dream lst night where i saw AGAIN this Sai baba counseling people! Intriging. is he talking to people on earth who come up in their spirit bodies or is he talking to Spirits who have died from the earth?
since he asked me once, in a dream---"would you like to help me with the progressions of millions of souls?": maybe I Am In Training!
[he may need all the help that he can get, as "millions of souls" a LOT of souls! He must be getting a large group of counselors enlisted! Earth changes?!! Or---is it just the huge huge number of souls that are generated by the baby-boom, of the 1940s/1950s/1960s and the earth's great population growth, of the last 40 years...getting ever ever the older, the inhabitants?! probably THAT! ]

puts me in a *delicate* racial place! I must now be Accepting of ALL the cultures and the races, while at the same time, be utterly aware of how each and every culture and race has utter utter
genetic and cultural differences!! each peoples has a certain, near stereotype-ical, differnece, a difference that flavors each soul's incarnation into it.
like: the Chinese people are "good at math". the german people are good at "time and space". the black race is good at kenetic "sports", and have a very good feel for "music".
Tis be very very easy for someone to call me "racist" over this, as I Have to make Discernments.
NOT "judgements"....."discernments"...when i will eventually counsel/consol souls in heaven, over their lives lived back on earth. there are people who want us all to be just alike [political correctness].

heavenly choir would be dull dull indeed if each of us, there, will sing the very same note!
Imagine, if you would, a persian rug made up of threads of *exactly* the same color. how can you have a pattern if the only shade of thread-color is "green"?!

Thursday, June 20, 2002

I have an Aunt, my mother's sister, in upstate New York. she is about 85 or so, now; not TOO many years left for her, now, on this earth.
She and my Uncle live in the same old homestead farmhouse that they obtained in about 1953: good grief, 50 years in the same house, 50 years of looking out the same breakfast windows, at the morning's world!

I had a small dream last night about her. i was at her house. i saw a man talking to her, and talking real "serious-profound" type of talk.
--looked more physically like a woman: a short man in an orange robe with afro-type hair: looked Indian
as in "India"!

Sathya sai baba!

He then turned to me and told me that "I am am working on her [getting her ready for HER death, soon!]
and we are getting Somweres, slowly"!

[reminds me of where i read, in a book about baba, that someone wrote about how baba appeared to a certain old man, at night, to Instruct this man, a year or so...before his death! baba would appear, somehow, almost each and eavery night, in a dream or even as an Appearance!]

Wednesday, June 19, 2002

in my other weblog......of interesting copied articles

is an article....from the New York Times.

>>>>> Monday, June 17, 2002 - 10:56:25 AM MST

With California parking spaces, size
By New York Times: Michael Janofsky

GLENDALE -- For all the scratches and dents on Andre
Valian's Plymouth Voyager minivan -- and there are quite a
few -- the doors are remarkably ding-free.
. Nearly a decade ago,
Glendale officials noticed that while the typical family vehicle
was getting bigger, the typical parking space was not.

So in 1994, Glendale became one of the first California cities
to eliminate spaces for compact cars in municipal and
commercial parking lots in favor of a universally larger space.

the old houses with the 1935 garages! the garages are SO small! I wonder....i wonder if the car of 2020, if gas is still cheap and the economy is good...I wonder if cars will be the size of

even now, GM, and other car makers, are making a pickup truck that is built upon a 16-wheeler truckcab body!

Size matters!

guess in 10,000 AD, we all will be ten foot tall!

Tuesday, June 18, 2002

Today I rewrote up that Visiondream where a Guru tells me that i have one year to live!!
Tis a major re-write: i tried to recall every little detail to this vision. I rewrote the original
and place it into my files at

I will now re-post it here, in my "better version".

[In the future, i will ruminate about my year to live, in my other weblog....
use that journal to *only* ruminate about my year to come.

use THIS weblog for
"other" topics" ..."social, political...and of course, my approach to life after 100+ visions of heaven!!]
here is the re-write.

My Vision That Tells Me This.....

Over the years, i have recieved many many Dreamvisions
of the afterlife: i posted many of them up in my site.
you may go read them there.

I always wondered why my mother was so so afraid to
drive on the roads at dusk. seemed so irrational to
me: she had this fear for years.
My father was on his deathbed, he had a bad stroke,
the fall of
1986. he had just turned 72. I came up to live with
my aunt, in my hometown, Interlaken, N Y... from Tallahassee. I lived
there a year.
A friend of my father's told me something. he told
me something that i never knew until 1986,
that my MOTHER had had a Vision, in about 1965, where
she was shown that she would die in ten years as a red
sports car would come into her lane at dusk and kill
her instantly but that my father would live until he
was 72! She told, apparently, very very few people!
he was now 72!! Mother had died ten years after her
dream as THE red sports car came into her lane at 120
MPH, at dusk....Appointment IS kept!
[ NOW i knew why she kept a posted-on-the-wall, file
of all those predictions that psychics make for the
year-to-come, and that she always found them to be
wrong, thus laughing about it and thus trying to put
down the possibility that HER prophecy came from a

father lived one more year beyond his 72 as he made
amends with his son, Grace in action!!
[I have ALREADY HAD my time of grace, probably, as Spirit lets me
live beyond 1998, when i was set up to die!]

A few years ago, my mother came to me from heaven to
tell me three numbers....3 39 99. this in 1999. i
stood at a dreamspot: the image was the driveway in front of the
family childhood home, to see my mother come from the
sky from the setting sun west...she spoke to me.

i never considered that perhaps I, too, would Be
Told....but of course it would be so, in these family
karma affairs...Mother was a Prophetess, and Saw correctly!

My DREAM BEGINS....may 13 2002.

....I am in astral INDIA, the place i have lived in, in
many lifetimes. I walk along a road, in rurual India.
I meet a seer, a Clarvouyant old man, a Guru, perhaps!
he tells me that when he was young, he recieved from
spirit the lifeplans of many people. These people were not yet born!
[ somehow he accessed people's Life-Plans, their life plans that they had set up
for them, by the Angelic/Christic Guides...the life plans that
they were to bring with them into birth to do their life-missions with!]
There was quite a pile of sheets of paper, on a table, before him. He
tells me, then, that each of these sheets held an account of a
person's pre-birth life plan, that he recieved from Spirit
and wrote down, around 1938. [Three years before i was born]
He pulled out a sheet and held it up to me. I could see that the
writing was in a language that i could not read: I could
see a LIST of "adjendas" or "missions", on this sheet,
by the way the sentences were formatted.
There WAS one line that was written in "english letters"...the Name
of the person this sheet pertained to.


my name!!!
He then began to read each and every Mission that I had set
for me in 1938, while my soul was still in the Heavenworld,
three years before i was born. As he read each mission, i AGREED with each
description: by now, 2002, I had finished it. [unfortunately, i cannot
recall any of these missions, probably i was not "suppossed" to remember!!]
He soon finished reading the list: I told him that he scored "100%" and
that I had done everything that this list indicated that
I AM to do, after i was born!
["he stopped"---means that there are NO more missions! He listed all of them!!]

a moment of silence.

THEN he says...[one more lifeplan to go!]
[ or...perhaps..."SPIRIT JOURNEY"!]
[He did not say "spiritual". even in the dream I
was a bit surprised, at first, that he did not say "spiritual"!
Too...I told myself, in the dream, in my half awake dream-awareness,
that "had I not already BEEN living a "spiritual life", all of these years?!
How could he be saying that I will begin a spiritual life
when I had already been living a "spiritual path"
since about 1968?!!]

suddenly i was not at the feet of this master, I was
at my childhood home, and I was now standing on the driveway, I
heard this master repeat his saying as I looked down
on the ground to see a larva-like, white, wormlike thing with
a human head.
["the soul immediately in spirit", the
newborn soul, just arrived in heaven...the "preview"
of my beginning of my Spirit jouney, my spirit life,
where i will then be living IN the world of Spirit, in my Spirit-body.]

[ On May 2 of 1999, i had a Vision where I stood
and I saw my Mother come out of heaven, to the west!
She stood before me and said just a few words.
"3" 39" "99" "these numbers are in the Bible"!
(meaning: Spiritualy True)
If i were to die in that year-from-now, i will have lived
here in Tallahassee for 42 years. (3 + 39 + 42).
I was saved from death in 1998 at 57 years old: I left my New York
home for that last time of living there. (57 + 42 = 99) Vision of my mother: she was also Telling me the News, in advance!

Suddenly, i heard one more word from this Master, spoken into my head,
just as the dream ends.
[like in "blood artery hemmorrage"!]
my mother was told HOW she would die, i guess I am now told that too!

---my Vision, my own visions, also tell me that there might
be collective earthchanges by the spring of 2005. the
bells might toll for thee also, soon!!! 2 to 3 years for YOU
to get ready, maybe.


Monday, June 17, 2002

well today on the bus....THE ANGRY MAN! i rode three miles with a man who Dumped.....
---tis too too long a story to unfold here....but What Comes out of It?!

Here i am, innocently and unawaredly, putting onto bytes, my journal and diary entries about how i how less than a year to live.
oh how unaware i am!!

Unaware that my subject matter is THE LAST UNSPEAKABLE UTTERENCE, the last "dirty word" to be accepted as being acceptible!

There are, actually, a BUNCH of "unmentionables"!
---death, yes.
---that there IS such a thing as "fate", a fate fixed in stone and Titainium steel! that if i were to claim this fate as being so, this opens the Door to all fate for anyone and everyone! that a person CAN have something that must be accepted, NOT changed! Thus if i say..."my life is utterly fated and i want it that way"...many people see a "red flag in front of the bull"!! they do not want to accept fate in any way possible! "if my life is fated: so is theirs"...they infer!!
---the afterlife! not only that there IS such a thing: that also what i have experienced is True for me, but often SO unacceptible for others to experience! like that dream of a few days ago where i was interviewed for joining a white supremecy group! that I might WANT to favor being IN such a group, after i die, For Very Good Reasons [for me!] . that i might, no matter how i feel about such a group now [yuuch!]: that i might HAVE to accept being a part of their group's world, after i die and Enjoy that!
let's not talk, shall we, about the dream about six months ago, where I, in the spirit world, was in the process of becoming a "inner circle person" [Don] of the Mafia!! many many people, i fear, in hearing all of this "group-joinings", they would think that my Experiences are being pushed upon them as being FOR THEM, as well!!
these experiences are mine alone and indeed i might find that i will bond with many many groups. I recall that astral experience last year where i went to a Gay men orgy! 20 or more men, naked, having an intense orgy on the floor, writhing together like worms in sex-estacy. me too! And i am NOT even "gay" except in Sympathy and acceptance: no matter, this is a world that i have access to, after i die!
----the afterlife: i get real real bad flak from christians over this! my heavens to come, are NOT the offical heavens that xians
are supposed to go to! no matter if i see Jesus take my Sister to a higher heaven: if not "scriptorial" then "it is Satan decieving me"!!
thus i have given up talking to xians over what is in my two journals!

What i am saying, here, is that these two journals seem to be more "radical" than any political or social extremist group!
more "dangerious", perhaps, for me, if i EXPECT to have approval from anyone about what i write about!

so far i have had at least two people toast me Real Good over being "racist"! One person wrote to me over how wrong wrong wrong i was, in every little word that describes what heaven is like! then there was the guy who wants to convert me to christianity...."convert and if you suffer greatly for it, then that is quite worth the suffering as otherwise you will go to hell for eternity: worth all the suffering there is, rather than hell-eternity"!
[ hmmmm....seems i heard that one, from the xians, about 800 years ago: called the "inquisition"!!]

so i will and MUST write what is, in my days and weeks to come. describe my heaven astral experiences as they fall. if i lie, what use is the journal, what use is my life?! there may be something here to displease EVERYONE, eventually!

got my URLs fixed!! as they all are at the very bottom of my journal, i do not look at them very often: quietly changed the url-format, as they devested from, and thus my rings failed to show up....for weeks!
hopefully they will now work!

Saturday, June 15, 2002

Now i know that I am not "alone"! when Sam came to me from heaven and he stood next to me where there was that fence between us----NOW I have it figured out! that fence is as far as Sam can come down from heaven and as far as i can go UP into the heaven worlds, in my Astral travels. sam, who died about 43 months ago, came down from his land to greet me and we two shook hands through that fence!
As i asked him how heaven is...suddenly there was an interruption!! a pickup truck with the next door two country "bumpkins", came barging up to us and then something "heavey" thumped into the back of the truck: end of dream!

----that evening JUST as i was getting to play my GOTHIC wonderfull computer game, i heard a truck outside of my door. i got up to see two country bumpkins who were there to rent and to move into my trailer! they *thought* that a trailer was for rent somewheres and they drove in and saw my nametag sign on the door and thought that it was a "for rent' sign!!
Dream bleeds into waking reality! means there is much MUCH more to that dream truck thean meets the ordinary eye!

it means....Sam moves in!! Sam has made connection with me: thus sam is now a Guide or Greeter to me.
and in the time that i arrive in heaven next year!
NEXT YEAR: Sam is the guy who will "spend that one year' with me...the one year before i die, as a spirit-companion....I spent one year with
---and sam had his year, just as i left my hometown! i will have my year, with sam...and spirit knows who else, in spirit!
I see my friend SAM again!

last night, while dreaming, in the middle of some nameless dream, there was a very quick one-second flash to a scene where off in the distance, sitting by a fence, was someone who looked like my deceased friend Sam!
[about a week ago, he first appeared...the jounal entry is about a couple of weeks back]
yes, sitting by the fence between worlds and the scene only lasted less than a second and he was far far away, maybe a couple hundred feet.
just sitting there.
perhaps he will be WITH me for my year! there is no-one, here, apparently, on earth....who will do this with me!
---sam began HIS year about a week after i left my hometown for the last time: he died about a week before i left, a year later! two weeks short of one year.
---I was with my mother when she broke her foot, on about the middle of september 1974, i stayed with her for months: she had one year.
---I was with my father for about a year: he lived a year and two months.
---i was with my sister a year at her Mountain home before her SLOW DEATH began to occur....losing house, career, relationship, health...then she died.

so who will be with ME for my year?
maybe sam!

Friday, June 14, 2002

well after i wrote my "a SOBERING morning" article, [appearing just below this one], and i got my lunch of a pak of crackers and a coke and went out to the park next to the library for my lunch, I had an Intuition as i ate my peanut crackers!
an inuition as to how i can deal with this "joining a group" thing, in the heavens.

my Intuition actually is far far FAR more radical than of "not going to join any groups: be alone"!
as when and if the Greeter, in heaven, were to tell me that i must join SOME group, A group, i will tell him/her..."i, if to join with one group, i will join with
every one.
[yes even THAT one...the one that i could imagine to be utterly offensive or non-spiritual!]

yes, this will solve the problem, in heaven. join and sign up with every group that is availible. KKK...radical right ...radical left...whatever!
each and every group has some of truth to offer. matters not if they espouse "white supremecy" like of that dream-group that i encountered last night. [why this group might poke holes in the Academic Establishment's idea that each brain is wired *exactly* the same, at birth...and that there are utterly different brain "wires" dependant upon RACE...if SO, a soul-counselor MUST take that into account when counseling souls: the "acedemic group," in heaven, would NOT be of any help in teaching me this!!....this is just an example; please do not flame me for this statement!!]

thus my solution to my problem is actually more challanging, to me: to be able to shift out the truth from the false, in all of these groups!
AS...all groups have some falseness too, in their teachings: all of them!
but the upper heavens are made up of truths and Loves. thus i will try to join up with every group, whether i have "qualifications" or not, for that group!
belong to all of them.
a SOBERING morning!

first off, I had this astral dream last night. I am in "Austrailia"! at least that is what the people told me, when the dream began: i was in a house in that astral location. They wanted me to join up with their
social group and they thought that my surname "wilson" might get me in: seemed to be a group of people who might correspond to the American "KKK"....some "white supremecy" group!! I did not tell them my feelings, i seemed to have no choice BUT to join them or be cast out of their world! They were out, of the house, no doubt deliberating, when my dream ended. the LAST group that i would want to join up with!
when I got to my computer this morning, I eagerly checked the yahoo/egoups groupslist to see how my post was recieved in the Xepera list. I browsed through the lists yesterday and this Temple of Set list
had a post that i replied to: the list director asked the list..."what do setians think of life after death, please post your opinions". I did. i gave references to my weblogs and my feelings that are evedent, here.
this morning i found that "Xepera" was no longer on my list of groups!! I was unceremoniously UNSUBSCRIBED! Did i vioate one of their long list of "no no's"? did i violate a rule by giving my links?
probably NOT: the subject matter Offends--------someone, no doubt, who has the Veto power, does not belive in the afterlife. End of list.

THIS raises to me a Very very Disturbing Question!
in Role Playing Computer games, one should join up with as many Guilds as he can, as each guild has something to offer the player. same, i feel, in heaven! one should "belong" to as many different social groups as one possibly can, in the afterlife worlds, i feel.
Just a few days before my "one year to live" dream, there was a dream, a dream that set the tone for my year of preparations and for my heaven-to-be, when i arrive there.

the dream: I began a walking journey, much like a "Pilgram's progress" towards my hometown. In this dream i sensed that when i arrived in my hometown, my life would be over and done. As i walked the miles and miles, in this dream, i entered this house and that house and on to other houses. in each house was a person that i knew in my 60 years of life: friends. Thus i would spend some time at the first house being with my friend but when i had the urge to continue my journey, my friend told me that he could not come along. I would walk out alone. then on to other houses, one by one, with the same results!
One friend is a "shaman-type" person, here, now...but in the dream he chose to remain at a bar socializing, instead of coming with me. [messege: this person represents my "need" to socialize for the sake of socializing...NOT fit for me to use in heaven...must be left behind!]
The next house was of a college friend who i still keep in contact with. he is a VERY devout Christian, a true christian devotee [ as in "bahkti India devotee"]. a true follower of Spirit, using christianity as a Path.
I had to leave HIM behind and walk onwards...[messege: i am also to leave Christianity behind, as well as
Sai baba and other "new age" paths!]
near the end of the dream and the end of my journey, i approached the Township line [the 7th stage].
i stood by a gate of entrance and i heard a voice speak loudly, in my dream. this voice told me that from now on my path is to be A_L_O_N_E. [great powerfull emphesis on the word "alone"!]
alone to spend my year on earth, and alone to enter heaven, and probably alone to begin my first heaven level! alone in personage and alone in not bonding with any group or collective path of spirit!!
Gonna be some interesting afterlife! I must not "prepare" in the traditional sense: probably will play computer games and just walk around the city, for my year! I must not "belong", in joining or in beliefs, any "way" or "path"! I may end up in a beginning heaven level, of living for awhile in a cabin surrounded by 100 miles of empty lands! alone. As this seems mandated by my Higher True Self: there IS a reason for this! [i CAN think of ONE reason: i could be soon posted to another part of the galaxy, to another humanity, not our human race: MUST leave e-v-e-r-t-h-i-n-g behind!] But there could be many possibilities, only known from Spirit.

Thursday, June 13, 2002

well now its been a month since I had that Dream that tells me "one year to live"!
a month has gone by already!!

Naturally...I had to ask myself..."another symbolic dream of death coming soon: really means, doesn't
it, a CHANGE coming....a transformation coming....and not "death"?!
---I had many of these before: this should be no different!


ONE--I had recalled a number of times, during periods of such dreams...asking of Spirit, in prayer..."Spirit: if EVER the time Comes, really, to die and you want to let me know...please tell me one year from it"!
TWO---all of my family and my childhood friend next door: they all had one year before they died; something very very signifigent occuring!
THREE---the very act of going into the past to see something, IN the past, that tells of the future, a future that is still ahead of "now"!
FOUR---the "feel" of this dream. a whole 'another animal" than from just "transformation' dreams!

[I note that this Guru says..."In one year you will begin your spirit life, your spirit journey"!
He does NOT say..."In one year you will die"!!
he says it the way he says there IS no death, how can i die?!
----so it really comes down to this: this Dream is a TRANSFORMATION dream that involves my death as
the reality.
MOST "death dreams", that people have...are DEATH dreams that involve transformation as the "reality"!]

from the above bracket paragraph....this Vision really is a Transformation dream.
but it infers a move into the spirit world, in a spirit body.

so i have to accept this. Still sorta abstract: hard to imagine that i will move away from my tallahassee.

So what have my dreams been like, since?! I note a GREAT increase of Lucid vividness to them; near every night. Like i am really REALLY there, awake. And the locations too...these places seem partly "physical' and partly "astral-spirit"! I feel, too, that i am "using" other people's images and memories too!
places i have never been to, that "claim" to be in, like, the state of Indianna, near Indianoplis!!
places on earth that i have never been too; as if i were someone else.
probably, these dreams, i am tuning into spirits who live in the spirit worlds where they are imaging their lives back on earth.
I ought to REALLY having interesting dreams, in the months ahead: keep tuned!!

Wednesday, June 12, 2002


---think i better do this: so that readers can find all my links in one spot!

"my life after near death experiences"
I have experienced over 100 Dreamvisions of places in
the afterlife worlds! My weblog journal is about my
daily life, in Light of what i have learned from these

One of my Visions gives to me One year To Live!!
Vision occurs As of may 13 2002. I have a weblog
journal where I ruminate and Deal with this!!

This is the site where many of my afterlife visions
are stored, along with my other visions of alien
worlds, earthchanges, and other writings. click on
the "files" link, to the left of the welcome page.

This is an archive for my Dreams that relate to my one
year to live!
It is also a MAILING LIST/BULLETON BOARD that you can
post to and sign up for! You can use it to post
comments to me over anything that you read in my sites
or if you want to share with me YOUR own Dreams and
[it is with Yahoo Groups]

so I welcome you all to come read and sign up...of
what I have written, and will write.

Tuesday, June 11, 2002

here is my "welcome" post to that "cronie" list, that i wrote of yesterday!! I fear and tremble a bit about how they will react to my post!!
Hi everyone.

The St pete Times had an article that led me to find this list.

I am 60 years old, a single man. I seem to have "found" that i might fit the criteria for a "Cronie"! I weigh about 132 at 6' 2"!
Tall and thin....

I have a very small mouth with not many teeth, and i eat slowwwwwly!
I just eat LESS, not avoiding any particular foods.

I see the cookies in Barnes and Nobles grow to IMMENSE sizes, as this chain changed bakeries nation-wide, last week: i would have great trouble eating one of these for a MEAL! many people just eat them for a light snack!! food, in general seems to be given out in larger and larger portions: just HOW big will they get?!
i am amazed and i shudder a bit at the poor people who, when they enter the bus, the bus tips over on its side a bit, due to the heavyness of the person getting on!! leg troubles, joint troubles...etc...etc...
Genes? attitudes? i will not pass judgement.


I can see that i will NOT end up being fixatated on what i eat, for two reasons...
ONE...I can see how the brain works: one will end up spending every single minute thinking about food and the calories, if one is not carefull: life is too rich in experiences for that!
[this one is a "toughie"] betcha this one gets me off this list!!!!
I better NOT get fixatated and obsessed as it, for me, does not matter! Spirit gives to me Good reasons why i have one year to
Live!! After about 100 Dreamvisions, over the years, of seeing places in the afterlife worlds...meeting my friends and relatives who have gone on...and they tell me a bit of what it is like there[!!]:
this sure puts the values of the world into proper Perspective! Then one of these Visions Tells me The News!!

I have sites!

"my life after near death experiences"
I have experienced over 100 Dreamvisions of places in
the afterlife worlds! My weblog journal is about my
daily life, in Light of what i have learned from these

One of my Visions gives to me One year To Live!!
Vision occurs As of may 13 2002. I have a weblog
journal where I ruminate and Deal with this!!

This is the site where many of my afterlife visions
are stored, along with my other visions of alien
worlds, earthchanges, and other writings. click on
the "files" link, to the left of the welcome page.

This is an archive for my Dreams that relate to my one
year to live!
It is also a MAILING LIST/BULLETON BOARD that you can
post to and sign up for! You can use it to post
comments to me over anything that you read in my sites
or if you want to share with me YOUR own Dreams and
[it is with Yahoo Groups]

So why am i Interested, even, in this list? Mainly in seeing how the Health Quality is bettered, hopefully, by the Cronie way of eating!
like that poor gal who got on that bus last week, where she had a cane and the bus leaned over four inches as she got on: her knee joints were shot, probably! an extreme example: but i see people who seem not be be happy with their health, and they know not what to do about it!

The Guides who write through mediums says this
about death-dates! [my words] "most people do not have a fixed time and date of death! Tis determined by the Life-Missions and other factors. many people do not have a fixed missionplan either, perhaps it is 'to learn of love'...or...'to gain knowledge'. The play upon the stage, of life, is 'extremperious drama'...a play that has no fixed script.[for these people a LONG LONG, healthy, life, is a Good Idea!!!]. Some poeple, though, have a 'set-in-stone' life plan and a set in concrete death time! [me, apparently!]"

[my mother had a vision of "ten years" "red sports car coming over the hill in her lane at dusk"...appontment kept, 10 years later, with that red sports car coming over the hill in her lane at 120 MPH!!]

there are Visions that Cannot be Put Down; not symbolic!!

If i see "adverse" reactions, to my "hello, in the days ahead"...i will not post anymore, perhaps come just to read from time to time what is here...
I may well Offend, by what i placed here!!

freestone Wilson

Monday, June 10, 2002

In my site of interesting articles.....

I put up an article from a lady who wrote, in John Hopkins magizine, about her one month diet in the "Cronie" way to eat.
"Calorie Restriction with optimal nutrition".....C.R.O.N.I.E.

---how living a anorexec diet can have one live up to 30% longer!

this research lady had to essentually spend her whole day thinking and preparing food: most of the
800+ people on the mailing list were more or less OBSESSIVE and all that: no price is too much to live longer!!
ahem! I, myself, weigh only 130 at 6 ft two inches. I might Qualify for this group! but Golly!!
"Golly" indeed!! here i am with 100+ visions of the afterlife and NOW i have a vision that gives to me a year to live. sorta puts this kind of thinkings into Perspective!!
here many of the people who subscribe to this diet seem to spend most of their day preparing their food and being obsessive about this diet and being "self-rightious" about how Death will be Cheated!
NO! Death can only be "cheated" if there is no more Missions of spirit to do, or no more Learning that the soul can do, or for other reasons! why there are Times when one OUGHT to like maybe how One would die so that she could get prepared, a place in heaven, for her children, who would come up at their times: if she were to "cheat" death, she would not be there to greet them, perhaps!
I might try to find this list just to see what they say: betcha if i were to tell them about my Visions, i would NOT be liked, there!!

this is the list.....

everything has its price: if one obsesses in diets, then there is little more time for thinking or doing anything else!

Saturday, June 08, 2002
Boone's art page.

---an autistic bow draws and paints. the pictures often are of clocks and often are "Coincidental"! often even "claivoyant"

I subscribe to the mailing list for this homepage. into my mailbox comes notifications as to new drawings.

today i went to check the latest efforts....


he drew for may 13th, the day of my Vision about my one year to live.
i am convinced that he sees it!! foresees it: i amNOT surprised as this Event is a matter of public record in the "akasha records"!
MY seerer saw it, why not other people too!

the actual page for this is....

yes, the one year to live is there: i am now 60 years old. note the clock face of "one minute". [60 min per hour].
and the numbers too....i was born in '41.....but of course the numbers that he paints mean something only to me! but i am CONVINCED that Boone drew this from the Records of my life!

Friday, June 07, 2002

a VISION of my deceased friend Sam, last night!

well...a very interesting little vision last night. The dream begins where I was at my childhood home, but i could tell it was "astral". what this means, is that this image of my rural farm home, while "I made it from my own mind", the image is IN the etheric demensions as a objective place, a place that i made. it is not, however, a part of heaven as it has a lower vibration than that. I could tell this "place" was of this by how i floated over the ground, floated about 6 feet off the ground, over the fields, the open air seemed MUCH more vivid and "intense" than what would be so by having this scene be "just" a psychological dream where i am at my childhood home! a LUCID dream, thus.

across the road is my childhood friend's home: he grew up there and i knew him for years afterwards, until he died in 1999, at 56. he was very very "psychic sensitive' and we both thought that he was an Indian Shaman in a past life. [I had dreamed of him with a hawk headress, once!]
this is the "Sam" who once came from heaven to tell me that heaven was amazing!

anyway..i floated across the road into his family's fields and floated behind the barn. off in the distance i could see Sam also floating and he came closer and closer. there was a six foot fence, the kind for livestock, between us. yes it was Sam, a Sam that looked about 30 years old, a much younger person than when he died over three years ago.
Funny, too...his whole body looked somewhat strangely "grey"! as if some of the "graphics" for him, did not get into my perception, as if some of sam was in a slightly higher vibration from the place that i was in! he looked like a "ghost"! we shook hands through the fence. i recall feeling his hands. i then asked him how he was enjoying heaven! he replied but i could not catch what he says as his words seemed to change into another language! basicly...end of dream.

yes the fence was the boundry barrier between his objective heaven world and my own astral semi-heaven world! he could only come down just so far! and i could come up only just so far. there was no Important messege, i feel, to be conveyed from sam---he just came to say "hello" to me: maybe too, he wanted to let me know that he is there in heaven!

there well may be MORE meetings like this in the future between him and i, especially as my Time comes closer to coming over myself, in the One year ahead! maybe he will/is a helper to greet me or to tell me things about what is to come!! I will keep you all posted, as the months go by!
[i may make a "sam folder" in my files of recorded visions and dreams, at

Thursday, June 06, 2002

There is now a bit of Distance, in time, between my dream of may 13th..."In one year you will begin your spirit life"! Oh, i have had "death warning dreams" over the years, before! These were either "psychological" or else of a symbolic, transformative, nature.
THIS a whole Octave above these.....
THIS one, i accept AS being true!

Now, i ponder if any and what LifeChanges i can make, that might make a difference: especially when i am also told that "there is nothing left to do"!! as if whatever i think about, feel about, or do, in the next year, will not affect my first level in entrylife there. that seems not right!
Probably means...that there is no karma-Missions to do for Spirit or for myself: but there is the "attitude adjustments' that i can make!
my Gardejeff/ouspenkie path friend....he is always slightly pushing me to "change, get rid of those old habit patterns": what could i say to him about my dream? nothing! Ironic: here i am about to make a HUGE change, and he would push me to "change"!

I recall a dream that i had about 6 to 10 years ago.
I sat with this Man, at a table, a man whom i have often seen in my dreams. He does not tell me his name...he is a short, almost fat, man, in an orange robe with a near-afro hair style. I know it is Sathya Sai baba! I know from other dreams.
In THIS dream he put to me a question and a kind of request...."would you like to help me work with the progressions of millions of souls?"!
[He needs all the help that he can get; the cadre of Angels and Angelic helpers!]
In the dream , this is all that he said, then the dream was over, i never got to answer him!

In my prayers to Spirit, i answer "yes" to the Question. i cannot image what Training would be required...but then again there is my SISTER to consider....she came to me in dream, about a year after she died, and she told me that she was in a school of some sort, a school that lasts 10,000 heavenly hours of Duration! a school for counseling souls who arrived into heaven after they die! she showed to me her textbook!! it had to do with how to read the face of a soul and to read the language of that face, as in heaven the face IS the harmonic copy of the soul! that can read the quality of the soul's earthly life in the face and there is NITHING that is hidden from others: one's whole life is in one's face!!
[she was a Masters social worker and a career. wrote textbooks: you may even know of her...Suanna Wilson!]
so perhaps i may also join this school!

so NOW?
for my year, right this minute?!
I try to imagine the lives of all the people around me...on the the cafes....etc..etc...
i try to imagine what their lives are like, were like, before "today". then i try to Understand their motives as to why they live the way they do, their 'self-justifications" for what they do! thus some "seemingly negative' way of life might actually be justified in spirit!! like of an angry person who has just left a cult: i see him in that narrow period of time, perhaps on the bus, when he is "ventilating", venting his pent up anger at his discovery that the Church/cult/easternpath did him wrong! gotta git it out! He is doing the "antithesis" to the past's "thesis"...the "synthesis" is yet to come!
[LIKE: some devotees of SATHYA SAI BABA who find that he is a "sexual pervert"! baba may not be a pervert, perhaps...but there might indeed be a messege that is saying that this devotee needs to move on to something else besides baba! that "synthesis' of him seeing this and perhaps going back to a Western path, may be months or years ahead in time: I only see this guy on the bus for five minutes and he is angry!!
thus be easy for me to judge him wrongly if i did not do my homework!
thus, i intend to try to, in my year ahead, to try to Understand the motives of people, in the light of Spirit.
maybe after i die, i will be able to join the School!

Wednesday, June 05, 2002

second letter to this list.......


Yes, Freestone, at the very least, he is a powerful sorceror.

Would you care to post some of the dark "sayings" of SB's?

letter two of two!

I call them, xxxx, "dark", because most devotees do not understand, and i can well see how someone might feel that these sayings would make baba "evil"! Dark in tone and near-Gothic in slant...

I have read many of them over the years, from baba Himself. some came from what was said that baba said
[second hand]. these i Suspect, sometimes.
only thing is...i can only recall a few, xxxx!
[ i will post whatever i can futher posts, perhaps.]
here is one!!!!!
-----Baba's past life was Shirdi Sai baba. Mehr baba says that shirdi is the HIGHEST of the Godmen and that shirdi, with other Saints, Intiuated mehr into Awareness. One of the Closest devotees says that Mehr baba said to him...."that shirdi created WW I *as* a creation, as part of the Circiculum for mankind"
[NOT "sided with the allies"...or..."supported the troops"!!] I feel the truth of this: that shirdi was the producer, director, and playwright, of this war. all of this from Spirit as he walked the earth, in India! shirdi died in 1918, in the middle of october, near the day of the peace signing.
read that? that the higher self of shirdi created this drama while on earth in India!!!

---Sai baba once said, and is quoted often!....[ my own slant, of this quote, as i cannot get the source of it to quote EXACTLY!]."the Patient, mankind, the earth, is very very sick. I must do surgery upon the patient or there is a chance that mankind will fail".
then baba goes on to talk about how FREE WILL is now overturned, must be overturned, in certain individuals or in the whole of humanity, as baba intends to save mankind!
----a similar quote, even more vague, in exactness!..."the Law of freewill, of mankind, is temprarily overturned, by
Me...the need is so great"!!
---baba can tell one devotee that jesus DID go to India. then another devotee he tells that Jesus did NOT go to india!
[somehow i feel there is a profound mystery here as i feel that what baba says has more to do with the reality set of the devotees, rather than of any "objective truth"]
and THAT, beth, is a profound profound "dark saying" indeed!!!
"THAT WHATEVER EACH OF US BELIEVES IN IS TRUE!" [with "real" events, out there, in the world, to self-justify this belief!!]
Bill feels that new york city is "demonic"? why as he walks the street of ny, the city shows this to him, in horrors
of degragation unimaginable except to the police department!
Cindy feels that new York is a city of great artistic freedom and creativeness? why she finds SO many artist friends and they all help her Get her feet Established, in her new Studio, as she adapts to the city ways, as she had just come from "muddy creek, Iowa...last month! for her, new york is a city of light and Intelligence!

THAT is all the "dark sayings" that you need, right this minute, xxxx! why that last one, how a Guru
will really reflect back to ya your own inner and outer life system...why baba would be good at this...
"whatever you believe in, is true"---apply this sentence to all the people who post to this list, about the "baba is a homo/child sex abuser"! these people see OBJECTIVE real things and what they see IS true and Real!
for them.
not for me. or probably you.
thus, i am NOT arguing with these people, over whether baba is a pervert or a Cult they are seeing the truth! baba shows them the truth, by his actions and his life: sometimes personally to them.
is a very very dark saying indeed!
A letter to someone about Sai Baba------

XXXX said.

06-04-2002 02:12 PM ET (US)


Yes, Freestone, at the very least, he is a powerful sorceror.

Would you care to post some of the dark "sayings" of SB's?
letter one of two!

Hello XXXX!

I love your posts! An old old soul you must be!
young a kid with his face right up to the bakery store window and that cookie that is on the shelf is "his all"! that cookie is all he sees, he sees not the street or the sidewalk or the sky or other people: for him that cookie is about four feet wide!
as the soul gets older, that kid backs off from the bakery window so that the cookie is seen in a more Larger Context! It is seen, in the Wider View of the city that the store is in. [a choacolate chip cookie in a store in Seattle may not be like a choacolate chip cookie in a store in Atlanta!]. He now sees this cookie plus the sky, plus the people of the city, plus the rest of the city. an older soul sees life in this wider context: usually means in light of Higher Vibrationbal worlds!

I agree with you: baba came for the young souls...80% of the planet's souls. the "Micheal group" [a channeled entity]....says...that " the souls of India are mostly Baby or Young, even Infant.....compared to the Young/middle aged souls of America and the west....however there are a FEW of the Very very old souls, there , in India, as a Guide for these infant souls" [guess who, in my opinion?!!] this is a quote from my memory!
I belive that, thoughly!

---and i agree with you on baba releasing the hell souls!
I see it like this:
tis 95 to 10....on the basketball scoreboard at Iowa tech! Ten minutes left in the game and it is the last game of the season. Tech 95...Iowa state 10. just WHAT does the coach DO? [Association rules say that all freshmen, on the team, before being eligable to come out on the team next year: they must have Court Experience
as actually being out on the floor playing ball!]
there are four freshmen who have never been out: they were on the bench all year long.
Time out!
take out four men and put those freshmen in there.
---final score: tech 97.....iowa state 20; a handsome win, and those four freshmen get to play next year and one of them actually Looks Very very Promishing!
see...Beth, as we all go up in Vibration, in the "into the 5th demensional demension"...all of those "lost" demons, will be TWO LEVELS BEHIND...instead of just one! gotta get them entered into the Human Incarnational
school NOW before the Great mass Graduation! Now they will be a part of us all!
THAT is what i feel Baba is involved in!
and that is one of those dark sayings that i wrote about in my last letter about "his bringing them all with him" in 1926! Baba said that, a quote. only, i fear, old souls can understand this!
no blame for them: can a 2nd grader understand Calculus?!

we all, us old souls, were once Young, just as they all will have the chance to become Gurus some days...old souls!
gotta talk their language: baba must be able to relate to Demons....thus we younger souls may not like some of the people that baba deals with!

---my letter gets long...You wanted me to recall "dark sayings"....i will do so in my second letter!


Tuesday, June 04, 2002

going to
the site and blog by David F. Gallagher. [many many photos of New York city, here!]
reminds me of a new york trip i took, years ago.

actually it was just a Amtrak pass-through, back in the early 90s, a train to somewhere else!
[NOW I know why the new yorkers love the Hudson river so! that train trip down the river is SO amazing!

the train passed under the streets and just as it about entered the tunnels, i saw a shaft of light illuminate a wall and upon that wall was what i call...
"the Anima of new York"! a wonderous mural-painting of a lady, done by dedicated grafetti artist[s].
A lady of mystery, of wonder; that life is mysterious...her face seemed to tell me. probably only a few train riders ever even looked out the window at the walls, let alone see her, but i always look out at the underground tunnels, in such places! I tried to imagine what it would be like to live homeless at 38 degrees fareinheigt, in a dim tunnel: i could see the junk left behind on the ground...empty bottles of XXX
to dull the Pain. so here in all the grime of the Underworld, was this Lady.
Just as some see only the grime of the NYC streets and they call new York "dirty"...others see Art and Wonder and Possibilities for art, in Finance, in Living.
And, some people can see and sense the Creativeness of others, in places that might seem to be void of life-spirit!

Monday, June 03, 2002


journal vs. weblog


---AN Interesting article that is on my other weblog...
"freestone's incredibilities"

Saturday, June 01, 2002

tis now June 1st.
a month or so ago, i had this here dream......[this was before the death notice dream!]
----that i was walking all the way from Florida to my childhood home in upstate new york! over 900 miles as the crow flies. like a "Pilgrams progress", I stoped at people's houses on the way there, starting out with several friends accompaning me, and one by one, each stopped at a house and did not go any further. the dream ended just as i got to the county line next to my home, some "870 miles" out of "900 miles" walked. a voice says..."you are ALONE and must walk the rest of the way ALONE: it is now June 1st"! [strong stress on the words "alone"!]

the old man stands on the alone stony road and faces that darkness in the Northeast!

STRANGE. my only real friend, here in tallahassee, on the last week in may, moved away from next door, the house, here on June 1st, is empty, for rent. Oh he owns the property and lives now 12 miles away, but his five kids and senile dad will keep him busy: i will not see him so much, how telling that he has just moved away in time for that dream!

then if this were not enough, in CASE i had forgot, i guess....there was last night's dream!
This was where i went to somewheres like a world of old people who lived in old houses, awaiting death.
there was some old lady who followed me around, in lonelyness and deathfears, i had to turn to her and yell out..."You have got to face death cannot go through other people to deny this, you cannot fill your days depending upon other people to assuage your lonelyness!"
ouch! dreams like this mean to me....I, freestone, am telling myself this", in the dream!!

strange...strange....i was thinking the other day how i more or less lived with my mother for a year before her death, lived near/with my father for a year before his death, lived with my sister a year before she lost her house and shortly after, she died.....there seems to be some kind of "Karma" here! even my SAM friend had ONE YEAR of being paralized, before he died...I will have one year, perhaps friendless.
But i can see why and how! Betcha i will have a *VERY* strange heaven experience, for a heaven life, a life that no one will be there with me, as it will be Unique only to me!
so my path will be Alone, most of my heaven, as well as for "now"!