Tuesday, December 24, 2002


I entered the University library sharply at 8 am, this day-before-Xmas morning. i just came from the Macdonalds across the street; morning coffee, and by now the library had just opened. In the lobby, i met an aquaintance of mine, he grumbled mightedly about how on Christmas day he will be bored and he will be down and depressed, everything closed and the "city TOO quiet"!
---I can see somewhat his point! he is an intelligent India man who is stuck on the bridge between two cultures and cannot claim "insider-ness" to either...and his tolerence for *any* way of life having to do with religion is ZERO!
...he is single at 45 years of age...in *any* culture on christmas time, single and family people are "severly" judged as "lacking"

but i thought of my hospital stay of about 20 days, back in 1993!
I nearly died, they took over 9 llbs of pus-crud out of the side of my chest! weighed about 118, at 6' 2" tall....when i got out.

On the first day or so, of these 20 days....I dimly remembered a phrase that i had read, jusr recently, before my sickness...a phrase about "healing", that i read in some medical writings.
This article wrote about the modern concept of the "healing team"
that is of modern medicine.....where there might be 30 or more people involved with a patient's stay in the hospital. There are the X-ray technicians and Interpeters...the nurses, the primary and secondary doctors....there are the cooks and food-servers....on and on....
This article then stressed that ONESELF must be part of this Team, too!! That you, yourself, must take an active part in your own healings!
So as i spent my 20 days there in the Ithaca hospital....i noted several things.....
----- On the second day, my new nurse came into the room and noted that the rising sun beamed into that east window and thus she went over to draw the blinds. i asked her not to, telling her that a bit of sun each and every day would be GOOD for my own healings: upstate new york gets so so little that i would need all the sun that i could get!
----I asked SPECIFICLY for "no flowers" I used to work selling Carnations and cut flowers and i knew the chemicals that were sprayed upon them! sure enough, that second day, a nurse brought in a huge bouqet of carnations, from my aunt. the nurse's
nose was running: she apologized for the running nose as she set the flowers down. i then told her..."NO!! take the flowers O-U-T!! maybe the front desk would love them; and your nose is running because you have the carnations with you"! she did so....not only did MY nose feel better, that nure's nose never ran again!
[and i had a lung condition....flowers?!]
yes *most* people would have suffered in silence as the gift, itself, would be so so honored that "in the name of socialness", the allergy reaction would have to be endured, for the Aunt's sake, as she Cared!! NO! I come first, not my aunt.. and in that very very small Isolation ward room, those flowers would have been Much More than "too much"...for my dangerious Empyma condition to bear! [ i got that condition from formydyhyde fumes!!]
Point is...I chose to make a difference, here.
---- one more example...one day, about the third day, my lunch came on the tray. food was faily good, at this hospital, but they often served a "cassarole" or a 'stew", as the main course, a serving of stuff with about one tiny hunk of meat in it. I wrote on the menu-preference-for-the-next-days-meal, sheet, that somthing must be done about this as i needed a very very high protein diet by doctor's orders!
so their dietician came up to see me and an understanding was made where the kitchen would substitute a large hamburger for me, anytime that they would be serving such a meal as "meatless"
stuff! yes, a two inch thick real real hamburger. i had it about once every three days, for lunch!

well, the point is, from all this, is that I took an active part in my own healings and welfare!
And, now, today...I like that phrase, and try to apply it to all of life....
"one should take an active part in one's own life"!

do not let the sauce of something like of "Television", pour over you as you just sit there before that tv! DO something: stand back in creative magic awakeness and "think out of that box" to create your own reality!!

thus this depressed guy could CREATE something for his Christmas. even if it is only a long walk, or maybe if it rains all day, he could write letters to people, listen to music, read something, or go visit with everyone that he knows that is home!
[he does not believe in computers!] In other words, he could "take charge" of Christmas day, and use it FOR something , instead of just letting the "reality" of...."I am alone and i am bored with everything closed"...be the Ruling condition that is the "given" for that day!