Thursday, October 10, 2002

a very strange dream last night!

I was on a large open plowed field, in what i knew to be Germany! a very very lucid dream. i must go all over the world, in my astral travel. "objective germany"?
probably not. "using the memories of a german farmer"?
maybe. "going to a heaven that is where germans live?
This was a springtime, i could see off in the distance the young leaved trees. i could hear a train whistle and the train, off in the distance. there were clouds and mists, i could see hills off in the distance. probably just south of berlin, in the foothills east of the Harz mountains. old East germany.
---must have been using the memories of other people, somehow. people who are either still alive or else in Spirit.
i walked across this field slowly. must have been all of 100 acres. took forever. at the back of the field was a path. i could see vividly the plants and trees and noted how they were either the same as in america or different. i could see floribunda rose plants in the pasture behind the field. then there was a house.
the people in the house welcomed me and i tried some of my college german and it was *just* sufficent for a fumbling conversation! then a younger lady came up who spoke english...finally there were about 20 people and two dogs, in a house that actually "looked" german.
we all had a nice long talk.
strange...often these dreams go on and on whether "i am still there or not"! as if there is an independant "freestone" who is dreaming it, whether i even wake up and go to the bathroom...or an hour go by; when i dream again, the dream is still ongoing! when i dreamed again, now i was in "Berlin". i was looking at the ruins of a nazi barracks or a museam.

[my netscape does not work with spellcheck!! as i do most of my posting in netscape..i WILL be mis-spelling a *LOT*, in the weeks ahead!! I have a choice: words or meanings, if i chose "correctness" of words, i will not be image-orientated, thus say nothing *real* in my posts! so grit ye teeth, oh ye 'correctness", Virgo, people!!]

I could feel the presence of the aura of the nazi troops who were stationed there.
then i later found myself in a german bar! it was full of punkish kids. i went up to the bar and ordered a house brand beer, sort of 'scared' of all the young men around me, as IF i were to go to a workingman's bar on the south side of the steel district! but i had a nice talk with the guys.
lter, after waking up and going back to sleep...i was in a german home again. the "masterlike" owner, seemingly some kind of occult leader, asked me if my body-type was of a man or a woman...whether my waist and hips were
*like* a man or woman. as i took off my shirts to have him look, i woke up...but i was able to "construct " where he was coming from and what the signifigence of body-type was!
---He and his "school" had a therory that this body-type thing greatly influenced whether a man was feeling or Thinking, in his Soul.
" the man who is built like a woman is "franco [france] and Loves. in this cynical and often angry/depressed world, no one can return this pure child-like innocent love the *way* that he pours it out, so it comes back twisted and corrupt and , too, this love-need that he has can never never be filled, on earth: only in heaven can it he becomes bitchy and "negative" and his feeling-nature. thus this franco man needs to face the Northeast that is "Tuetonic" [German]. he needs the structure of "time-space-particularness". needs phlisosophy and metaphysics so that the Love-nature that is his soul...can be channeled upwards towards higher vibrations, in this material world.
....and the man who is Tuetonic-german, who is built like a man [most men]. he is nearly all mind-structure-form, and no love, "juice", softness----he needs Love in his life. he needs to face the Southwest...of "franco" [france]!
He needs to open his heart and to develop love!

My body is of a woman-build! my hips are far wider than my chest and even my shoulders!
i ougha be...i have all my inner planets in the sign Cancer and mars in a water sign and the rest of the planets are in the 12th house!
---anyway....that is what this german occult teacher had to say.

---i can see from what he says that the many women that i have known who were Whiney and bitchy....this explains it! they wanted to love totally and be loved Totally, utterly, with no holding back and 100% pure and love and to BE loved, in return, that way.
they could never get that kind of love, in return, so of course they are not satisfied, and become bitchy and whiney!