Thursday, October 31, 2002

SA commissions book to prove moon landing really
By Seth Borenstein
Knight Ridder Newspapers

More than 33
years after the
United States
landed men on
the moon, NASA
is spending
more than
$15,000 to
convince people
that it really did
happen and that
the space
agency didn't
make it all up.

Stubborn conspiracy theorists claim that NASA's six Apollo-program moon landings
were faked. After decades of belittling and ignoring them, NASA has decided to fight
back. It hired James Oberg, a Houston-based former aerospace engineer and
award-winning author of 10 books on space, to confront skeptics point by point. Many
scientists already have done that on the Internet, but skeptics remain unconvinced.

"Ignoring it only fans the flames of people who are naturally suspicious," Oberg said
Tuesday in an interview.

Last year, Fox television twice broadcast a show entitled "Conspiracy Theory: Did We
Really Land on the Moon?," and NBC's "Today" show staged a debate on the topic. Last
month Buzz Aldrin, the second man on the moon, punched a conspiracy theorist who
had been pestering him to swear on a stack of Bibles that the landing was real.

After the Fox show first aired, NASA put out a one-paragraph press release titled
"Apollo: Yes, We Did."

Yet a 1999 poll found that 11 percent of the American public doubted the moon landing
happened, and Fox officials said such skepticism increased to about 20 percent after
their show, which was seen by about 15 million viewers.
.......more on the url-link to this article............

11 percent of all people, the poll found!
---and if you count the poll after the show, 20%!

what that means is...about ONE to TWO people out of TEN, do not believe that man landed on the moon!

---this really really struck me, as i rode home on the yesterday bus and some lady asked the driver about the "5:10 bus". the time was 4:00. the day was wednesday, about three days after the time change to
standard time: she was still on Savings time! she muttered, when people told her about the Time Change, that "time does not mean anything to my life"!

---about ten years ago, i stopped to stretch my legs, in a small rural South carolina town. real small. just one main street with about 15 stores. i had no watch so i looked in all the stores to see what time it was. each and every store had a clock and each clock was at a DIFFERENT time! some were hours off!
THEN i got a bad feeling, folks! I had the *distinct* feeling, in my soul, that most of the people in this here town were really about "1920" in their counsciousness! thus if, say, a washing machine were to break down, the housewife get the applience store repair person to come out to fix it: why he would be clueless as to how to fix it! no one would be Able to repair it.....or any of anything that broke down!

One Of Our Problems, as a people, as a country.......
more people than you might like to know, are utterly utterly CLUELESS as to how to live or even function
in our 2002 times! cannot read, cannot that man 30+ years old who asked me about the Bus...he could not read numbers!
---or that 20+ year old man who worked in the donut shop who did not know left from right!

There *was* a time when none of this Mattered! one's orientation, in the world and in life, was measured by how you loved and were loved! if you had to Choose, decide,think...about something; you went to an Authority that you Trusted, and let this person do it for you! a man with a mule on a 40 Acre field on the farm that he owned, ten miles out of town, with wife, ten kids, and 157 relatives/inlaws/friends..."man on the moon" was utterly utterly IRRRELEVANT to his, or to anyone's life around him!!
life, then, *was* work, mostly on the farm: when you were no longer able to work, due to age, you sat
on the front porch all day.
---I met a man in 1970 Rochester, ny, who was walking near a building that he retired from a couple of years ago. he work for 60 years in the same buildiing, the same Room!

Wednesday, October 30, 2002

tis interesting how much there is, going on around me, that i note: even with my "weakness" in the Jungian topology of "sense", i see interesting things. what is ALSO interesting is also just how little other people around me do not seem to notice what i notice!!!

---the three canadian geese at the Mall, yesterday! Three dinasuar-sized birds, each about three or more feet large, standing, siting, on the grassy meridian; no one seems to notice.

--there are two kids who get on the bus everymorning, their mother sees them on. the older boy is "puffy"! a bit sullen and self-absorbed, while the much younger girl is "motion in motion", *not* so much hyperactive, but as the hyperactiveness of a GIFTED kid. yesterday she took out her Violin, for
a moment to look at it: she takes violin lessons at about five years old. bright eyes and an intelligent face, quite intense. the Boy, on the other hand, seems dull and "reactive-sullen"!
"whadya do that for"...might be his tone! from the same family!
? ? ?

too...I find that i need maybe twenty minutes or ten paragraphs, even to BEGIN to describe the intricacies
and the interlooping involvements, with anything that i see or talk about: most people have not a clue, apparently! does anyone Notice the kids on the bus? contrast and compare?
Everyone may be Consumed with their lives......
Too too too often, for my likening, i turn to someone, on the bus, or in the mall, and go into a long observation on what i just saw that amazed me: i get a "duh" in return! I do not even mean just talking to an utter stranger, where i would expect to not get the Ear, these people are people who know me!

I can well well now see why many "gifted" kids have psychological problems! all thier young lives they either get put down or ignored! they end up seeing that "it is THEIR problem, their fault: *they* are not OK, they do not fit!
the old story.
this is why many "Intellectuals" become cynical-bitter! they think that they live in "Redneck world"!

they may just be older souls!
I have a couple of relatives, man and wife. she is a very very "real" devout Christian, he is "so-so" as a christian. married now for 40 years. she is very active in the church and Lives the Christian life, a fairly old soul. he is a bit younger in soul, perhaps.
he came from sort of the "other side of the tracks", his parents were a bit of "outlaws".
well...if he, now, is somewhat "not christian" it a failure on his part?
for i wonder what he *would* have been like if he did NOT marry her! what if he had married just another young soul! probably like of a "tomato plant without a trellis to climb up upon"! nothing to pull him upwards to "older soulness"! no role model for him to emulate.
so for all those years, her Influence has helped his soul to Grow older!

same with these Old Souls Amoungst the Rednecks!! role models for all the young souls.
thus...all gifted old souls should "say their say" and "do their do", no matter how recieved by others around them! they influence, subtley, all the young souls around them!

Tuesday, October 29, 2002

ah housekeeping! site maintainance and all of that!

seems that "life IS prep"!
seems that most of my life is in "getting ready to live"!

as in...
when you serve that meal to your Guests, that meal is the last thing that you do: there is utterly hours and hours of prep to do beforehand!
as in...
someone wrote:"when the construction people lay the foundation for a new house, 90% of that house has already been built!...the Plans...the legaldancings...etc..etc..

seems that each small little act takes hours and hours of preptime first.

--Guess the PURITANS were right: life is prep for heaven!

Monday, October 28, 2002

---a letter to a blind friend in upstate ny who has most people around him seem to give to him trouble!
recently his old old seeingeye dog has been so sickly looking that as he takes the dog on the bus for the 20 mile trip, daily, people have seen the seeing eye school-name, on the harness, and REPORTED to the school the dog's condition: recently someone from the school came by to remove the harness from the dog! my friend has often felt that the whole bus of people, would like him to never never get on!
half the town seems to "have it in for him"---a town full of "welfare cases", a town where it is couldy and cold for over half the year and there are no good jobs and Drinking to forget one's failed dreams, *is* the way of life!!
--- xxx wrote:

> I have seen abusers of guide dogs. I have also
> watched this school drug those dogs to appease the
> owner, possibly thinking they are not at fault, just
> the dog.
> These people are very untrustworthy. The SPCA
> woman, xxxxx, has already lied about the Cats..................

freestone says.

hi Bxxxx,

your increasing anger toward all these people, reminds me of that man in Interlaken, a man who was about 80 to 85 years old. he was in good health, for his age, but he shook his fist at everyone, in anger. Someone told me that it was him against the world and everyone had it out for him.

whether true or not, xxxx, his circle of love grew smaller year by year, as there are ever the more bastards out there!

unfortunately, many of the caretakers and counselors of the homeless shelters and the handicapped, are taking the job so that they just know that there are people worse off than they are, thus the need people to look down on, in order to feel good about themselves!

thus being handicapped, xxxxx, just makes you a target for these people.

on my interlaken rural walks, i would get a cat-call
from some passing motorist, about once per two miles or so...!!
Unfortunately, the model of that lady who went to north carolina with her husband and then she came back to interlaken alone without him and was so so the model! she could not live her dream, she came back a failure! she was angry at me in the resturant for telling her that her ciggarette was making me sick: but i knew that her anger was not really at me, it was against life itself, her own life's failure!

so many of the creative and caring people have left upstate new york to move to greener pastures and thus Raleigh and other places gets them. they live in suburbia, read "need a car" and are city people.
so there are more than the average, xxxx, of bitter
people in Interlaken and upstate ny! they cannot leave, see, xxxx! so nowadays the creative and loving
people, like my nephew....they move to , BOSTON or nyc or atlanta, and have a creative life and leave the small town minds behind!....the "apples that drop next to the tree" live in the boonies where the alcoholic rate is very high, they could not leave!

you xxxx, are thus surrounded by many many "women of smarara"! souls who find it hard to love and to be loved. they also have no inner truths, or inner Knowledge of what is Real! they are litterally like "3rd grader-level kids, who are 6th grade age, and going to 6th grade"! everything in the currant ciriculum is utterly beyond their comprehension, thus they get very frustrated and want to take it out on someone, anyone!
Read: " the Sniper!!"

so... can you find a way to love them in the Spirit's name?! you have a concentration of bastards, around you, and they are suffering young souls who live in HELL while they are alive in the flesh!

yes, there may come a day that you cannot even get on the bus to go to ithaca at all without some shit being flung at you!

what i am saying xxxx, is to try not to take it personally! otherwise your anger and bitterness could grow and grow and then you will just be ONE OF THEM!
they are bitter: you are bitter. bitterness is bitterness, no matter what causes it, thus you would live in the same hellworld as they, as you are bitter
for "good reasons"...but so are they, just ask them and they will tell you for hours of "the bastards that did so-and-so to them"...just like you tell others about all of the bad things that people do to you!!
in their mindsets, seeing a weak slobbering dog on the bus, with the seeing eye schooltag, on the harness: they just reach for the phone to report as they do not want a "dirty dog" mess up their 20 mile bustrip!
*just* like you , xxxx, do not like how those messey neighboors next door made a mess of your life, stealing from you and making you sick with that caper about the chinney furnace damper, and the noise and the vibes!
you would want to report THEM the the authorities, would you not?!

everyone around you are trying to dance as best they can, trying to love as best they can...often gets twisted and corrupted as "living the spiritual life" has not ever been taught them in school or college, thus they learn from the school of hard knocks called "life"!

my feeble atempts at "advice", would be for you to try to make the people around you happier, after they leave you, than they were before they came to you!
by "happier", i mean more than just "happy"! i mean that they should have more of an optimism and a inner peace and a inner Knowingness of what is real and more the real.
So many of you townspeople around you are only "correct" in their reality-perceptions. often they cannot see a "greater Truth" that might transcend those "correct perceptions or even overthrow them!

again: an autistic kid is often a very angry kid. it is that he is frustrated as whatever he says to someone or tries to do with his body, cannot come out right!
many of the people around you are frustated by not being able to live in this modern age, and get angry!
many have only a 5th grade education and life needs grad school now!

---end of sermon....
i have sympathy...


Saturday, October 26, 2002


I have a weblog! I began to wonder there.....with 800,000 users, there will be always someone who will Test the system! webloggers from Hell!
like the Sniper! someone from hell before he was born, probably...acoming here to get a Human soul!
maybe NOW his soul can Join the heavenly Climb! probably lots of SUFFERING first!
I was amazed at all of the rumors on the newsgroups and the internet! they had, some of them, this sniper to be a agent of Al-Queda, or worse....someone to be a part of some "illuminetti"
overthrow of the government. just one human being with an Attitude, is enough!! just one person with the mindset and the means, can make the results look like some Terrible Conspiricy is Afoot!

Thursday, October 24, 2002

a xanga site person wrote a nice entry, ending it with....

"life is good. i am calm...but back to reality. my dream: to make this calmness and magical
a constant reality in my life."

my comment to her.....

i like that!!
that little paragraph makes my day!

there are so few ADULTS that seem to live a life of imagination, around me! I ride the bus a lot
and see people who take life on the chin and think only that the tombstone is a dead end and
not a door!
i am not "morbid"...if one believes the grave is not one's end, then one believes in Heaven with
the Angels, the Spirits, the spiritguides, and all the wonderfull heaven places that have
HIDDEN connections with the earthsphere!

my sites...
"my life after near death experiences"
I have had many visions of the afterlife worlds over the years...I have seen heaven with my
own eyes!!
"a year to live"
--one of these visions gives me a year to live!!

yes, i applaud you for trying to make
calmness and magicfeelings a part of your life! If every wonderfull life-experience is a ticket
punched here on earth, then after you die then each punched ticket will admit you to a Temple
and School, in heaven! try to get heaven *in* your heart and life, now, here on earth: then
your will be there now!!

as i say, i see so so many people who are in HELL! a hell of their own makings...
so many people bitch about the city they live in. they "hate" the place. but there is always
something wonderfull about any place one lives in! trick SELF-VALADATE
that nice way of seeing your place, to make *that* perception, the "real" one! if it rains all of
the time, say, then learn to see the beauty of the misty foggy mornings!

like is much like listening to a radio station! if you come across a station with a wonderfull cut
of music playing and you are "not in the mood' for it, then that music might as well not be there
at all! thus YOU have to hear that music and then create the mood and the interest for that
music; THEN this music will sound magicly good!
so many people say they are "bored" they can be in a resort or a small city, and still say that!
but this means that they have no interest in anything "out there"! you gotta get the interest
first! Il ived in my hometown, in the 90s, a small upstate ny town of 600 people...years later
someone asked me how i could even stand the boredom! i spent an hour trying to tell this
person about a typical day! the letters unanswered...the books never opened, as i had so so
much that i wanted to do, in a day!

Wednesday, October 23, 2002

---a letter to someone who experiences the deadness of church and ministers and church way of

yes i like that, i can experience your Pain through the protestant churches.

Form without Substance, the preacher talks on and on and on.


a parable.
--once there was a circus that came to town. stayed a week, out at the fairgrounds. everyone
a wonderfull time. a few days later, a reporter came to town to write about the circus. ah! there
was no circus that he could find, it had left! he saw only the pressed grass, at the fairgrounds
and a few
bits of paper here and there that the fairgrounds crew did not get. this reporter had to interview
people who did go, in order to find out about the circus. naturally he did not get the correct
report, as the people made mistakes because of faulty memories.

the circus is the life of Jesus as he lived and died.
the reporter was the Disciples and the writers who wrote from memory about Jesus.

now suppose another reporter were to come to the town a YEAR after the circus! he would not
now even find someone who Remembered being there! he would have to go to the town library
and look up stuff. this second reporter is even FURTHER away from the Event!
this reporter would end up reading what people thought about this circus where the people
would project their own moral/values onto the circus such that the reporter would only find
what the people felt and thought: NOT about what the circus was actually about!
then the people would tell the reporter about
"moral condemation" about how the "sex tent" had strip shows"...and give to the reporter
*their* value-system's recipie-for-livings, in light of how they judged this circus!!

yes, this second reporter is the "church"
2000 years after Jesus. all they have are other people's accounts of Jesus and thus now the
church is more of a SOCIAL INSTITUTION!
tis more important to the church if you are married or not, or how much $$$ you have
[ tithing or donation fodder!]
than spiritual values! tis now all rules and "CEO/Tenure" mentality, unless there are people in a
church that have enough spirit-connection in them to over-ride this

only solution: get in touch with the Spirit-Jesus, within...your very own 1200 AD
[the protestant churches, i feel, need *another* reformation!!]

---if Jesus WERE to come again, probably the church would be the very first one to "throw the
rock" at Jesus, as jesus would not be in agreement with the church teachings! "Sanhedrins" all
over the Sanhedrins were the people in power at the time of His Birth!
---probably lock him up at age 12, in an insame asylum and pitch the key, or give to him a triple
dose of "Prezac", for life!!

[copy to journal]

Tuesday, October 22, 2002


My first wakeupcall to this "Talant" came in the U S Air Force! After my college failure, i Joined....there was a three-month waiting time, though, i spent the three months with my parents. Just a couple a months before my call-up date, i had my first of these dreams. I was shown places on the air bases that i *would* be living at, my workplace, my dormbarracks...etc..etc...

then about a month before I went to Japan for two years, i had a similar dream. the same sort of dream mechanics: I would see a "slide show" of images that might as well have been taken from a camera, of *exact* places, in japan, that i would be a matter of months.
THAT tree...
that street....
and others places, where even the very signposts and the leaves on the trees, would be foreseen.

I could fill up pages and pages....of this weblog, detailing my life where I always have had dreams to Foresee.

Lets see....on December 4th of 2000, I had a dream.
I had *just* died and now I had just awoke and I found myself to now be in a "welcoming hut of awakening", in heaven! This heaven was the "applachiian Mountain land" that i have often dreamed of, where my sister went to live after she died. Now I was here. *WILL* be here!!
this guide welcomed me to this place. we took a walk along the roadway: i met some people, then we two continued. The Guide told me that my sister had now gone onwards to a higher heaven and that her house was vacated, but that another soul was now living there.
[15 years after her death.]
he told me that houses were occupied by incoming souls and that it is the custom, here, to give it to another soul, when it is time to progress onwards.
My sister was now in the Angelic realm, i was told.....
This guide then took me to MY cabin, it was located just *at* the very edge of the world, at the very edge of heaven, where the souls come in from the earth.
my name was beside it....
---and two numbers....
120 420.

? ?

the guide did not tell what they meant....i guess this was to be my job: figure them out!!

yes, been near a couple of years is my Preview of my next place where i will live, just like
all of the other places that i would move to....why not: tis just another place!

first off...i noted that the date...12-04-2000 *is* 12[0] [0]420[00]!!
but this only means that the date is a marker, there is meaning here....

other dreams tell me that my PREVIOUS INCARNATION lived to be 79 years.
79 + 41 = 120 1941 is my birthdate.

the sign at the left: the past up to birthdate.

thus the sign on the right, would be dealing with my whole life + "03"----the year that i am supposed to die, according to my vision, to equal the 420

i have figured out what the 417 means.....[417 + 3 = 420]

my death year was encoded in that dream!!
I musta have had this one set up REAL my lifeplan!

Monday, October 21, 2002

in the Magazine for the sunday new york times

October 20, 2002
For Richer

. The Disappearing Middle
When I was a teenager growing up on Long Island, one of my favorite excursions was a trip to see the great Gilded Age mansions of the North Shore. Those mansions weren't just pieces of architectural history. They were monuments to a bygone social era, one in which the rich could afford the armies of servants needed to maintain a house the size of a European palace. By the time I saw them, of course, that era was long past. Almost none of the Long Island mansions were still private residences. Those that hadn't been turned into museums were occupied by nursing homes or private schools.

For the America I grew up in -- the America of the 1950's and 1960's -- was a middle-class society, both in reality and in feel. The vast income and wealth inequalities of the Gilded Age had disappeared. Yes, of course, there was the poverty of the underclass -- but the conventional wisdom of the time viewed that as a social rather than an economic problem. Yes, of course, some wealthy businessmen and heirs to large fortunes lived far better than the average American. But they weren't rich the way the robber barons who built the mansions had been rich, and there weren't that many of them. The days when plutocrats were a force to be reckoned with in American society, economically or politically, seemed long past.

Daily experience confirmed the sense of a fairly equal society. The economic disparities you were conscious of were quite muted. Highly educated professionals -- middle managers, college teachers, even lawyers -- often claimed that they earned less than unionized blue-collar workers. Those considered very well off lived in split-levels, had a housecleaner come in once a week and took summer vacations in Europe. But they sent their kids to public schools and drove themselves to work, just like everyone else.

But that was long ago. The middle-class America of my youth was another country.

We are now living in a new Gilded Age, as extravagant as the original. Mansions have made a comeback. Back in 1999 this magazine profiled Thierry Despont, the ''eminence of excess,'' an architect who specializes in designing houses for the superrich. His creations typically range from 20,000 to 60,000 square feet; houses at the upper end of his range are not much smaller than the White House. Needless to say, the armies of servants are back, too. So are the yachts. Still, even J.P. Morgan didn't have a Gulfstream.

As the story about Despont suggests, it's not fair to say that the fact of widening inequality in America has gone unreported. Yet glimpses of the lifestyles of the rich and tasteless don't necessarily add up in people's minds to a clear picture of the tectonic shifts that have taken place in the distribution of income and wealth in this country. My sense is that few people are aware of just how much the gap between the very rich and the rest has widened over a relatively short period of time. In fact, even bringing up the subject exposes you to charges of ''class warfare,'' the ''politics of envy'' and so on. And very few people indeed are willing to talk about the profound effects -- economic, social and political -- of that widening gap.

the model i have for this!

in milk that is homoginized, the cream does not rise to the top. in society, the same IF there is a "homoginizing agent"!
that agent, i feel, is...starting with religion, and going on down to the Virtues...all of the "glue" that holds life to be meaningfull!
the boy scout Jesus!
IF there is no agent, in the milk, the cream will immediately all rise to the top as $$$ and status and power become ALL!
without this "agent" why indeed cannot a boy be a drug runner for $100 to $33 per day compared to fast food hell at $6.00 an hour?!
everything points to the rightness of drug-running and Dealing if there is no "homoginizing agent"
in our society.

no wonder all our kids are full of rage and depressions! tune in to your radio and Find Out, adults!

in a few years we all could end up living like most of the third world...1% of the people own it all and the rest of us work dawn to dusk seven days a week, and *just* survive!

yes it means christmas carols in the schools and spankings and a whole whole lot of other stuff that infers that
there is disipline and structure....

how can a school parent bitch about the mess of morals and education when that parent is mightedly taking out from the tomato vines each and every climbing that now the tomatos just lie on the ground and rot!
they take out xmas carols and anything else that might just offend someone so that there is not a single Value left.
ALL the kids oughta go out and Deal drugs! *that* will help them get lots of $$$!
I wrote a letter to this Psychic/medium lady, and sent to her my "one year to live" vision, write-up, to see
how she would recieve it.

[She has wonderfull channeled article about a "nazi general speaks"...from the spirit world, about some of the inner motives from spirit, of the nazi people during the 1930s. She has a cat section too....about the care and feeding of cats!
she has a weblog too, just recently re-started....should be interesting.]

She replied to me. She told me just what i suspected that she would...very very good advice.
she essentually told me that I set it all up for myself, in spirit, before i was born.
[me or Spirit-guide help] If i want to change it, i can, if not, then not.
change my one year to "live longer".
yes "??", as this throws the ball back to me, of course....I would have to know *WHY* i set it up, first.
probably i set it up for a Very good Reason, at least a good reason for 1938!
Again: would i *want* to tinker with the date?! there may be very good reasons why i set it up that way, or had it set for me. maybe i choose to be there before someone else arrives. maybe, just maybe, the Mechanics of the Spirit world is such that there are certain "openings" in the Temple-classes and schools, where I can only enter at certain periods.
so maybe "asking" for an extension is not wise.

what i DID was to throw the ball back to Spirit. there is a prayer that i have read of, and that i like...
"Do the best thing oh Lord, do what is best for all concerned, including myself".
So i asked Sprit for that, for my "year to live" condition! let the Lord and my True, High, Self, choose what to do, with the reality of 2002 in let Spirit choose, as Spirit and the Guides know all the facts as probably some of the reasons for the Timeline reside in the Spirit worlds, thus unaccessible from the vantage-point of earth.

Saturday, October 19, 2002

New york times site

----excepts from this article.

October 18, 2002

Increase in Autism Baffles Scientists


rying to account for a drastic rise in childhood autism in recent years, a California study has found that it cannot be explained
away by statistical anomalies or by a growing public awareness that might have led more parents to report the disorder.

But the study's authors, who reported their findings yesterday to the California Legislature, said they were at a loss to explain the
reasons for what they called an epidemic of autism, the mysterious brain disorder that affects a person's ability to form relationships
and to behave normally in everyday life.

"Autism is on the rise in the state, and we still do not know why," said the lead author, Dr. Robert S. Byrd, an epidemiologist and
pediatrician at the University of California at Davis. "The results are, without a doubt, sobering."

As diagnoses of autism have increased throughout the nation, experts and parents have cast about for possible explanations,
including genetics, birth injuries and childhood immunizations. The California study found that none of these factors could explain an
increase of the magnitude reported there — more than triple from 1987 to 1998.

Dr. Catherine Lord, a professor of psychology and psychiatry at the University of Michigan who is a leading authority on autism,
said it was unclear whether the California findings applied to other states.

The federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention is working in 13 states to look at the apparent increase in autism cases,
said Dr. Frank DeStefano, an epidemiologist at the agency. So far, there is no reliable count of autism cases nationwide, since
criteria and reporting practices vary from state to state.

The California study was prompted by a 1999 report from the state's Department of Developmental Services, which reported that
the number of children with "full spectrum," or profound, autism had increased by 273 percent, to 10,360 in 1998 from 2,778 in 1987.
The study did not deal with milder forms of the disorder, like Asperger syndrome.

The numbers were surprising, Dr. Byrd said. The traditional estimate was that 4 or 5 children out of 10,000 might develop autism.
Instead, it appeared that 10 children in every 10,000 were seriously autistic, meaning they suffered from a brain disorder that left
them unable to speak or compulsively performing repetitive motions like flapping their arms or rocking.

After the period studied, the number of autistic children continued to rise, to 18,460 cases as of July 2002, according to the
California Department of Developmental Services.

In response to the study, the legislature directed the MIND Institute, an autism research center at the University of California at
Davis, to investigate.

"We wondered if the increase was real," Dr. Byrd said. "Maybe we were doing a better job of finding cases. Maybe there was an
increase in awareness of autism. The movie `Rain Man' was very popular."

California has a system of 21 regional centers that diagnose developmental disorders and provide services to children with them.
Dr. Byrd and his team mined these centers for data.

Researchers sent questionnaires to the parents of 684 children with full-spectrum autism or mental retardation. About half were
teenagers, born from 1983 to 1985; the others were ages 7 to 9, born a decade later.

If the criteria for diagnosing autism had changed in those 10 years or if the definition had broadened, the mystery would be solved,
Dr. Byrd said. But the standards used to diagnose full-spectrum autism were the same in both age groups, he said.

Some people suggested that the centers might diagnose autism so families would receive more generous state assistance. But the
centers have no incentive to do so, Dr. Byrd said, since they do not receive more state financing for identifying more children with

The study also considered whether children in the older group were incorrectly classified as mentally retarded, when they were in
fact autistic. But the rate of misdiagnosis was about the same in both groups, Dr. Byrd said.

Still another possibility — that large numbers of families with autistic children had moved into California — was discarded when it
turned out that most children in both groups were born in California. A general increase in population accounted for about 10
percent of the rise in autism, Dr. Byrd said. The rest remains a mystery.

There also were no significant differences over time in sex, race or parental education. Parents of the older children were more
likely to report mental retardation along with autism, but the finding did not explain the rising incidence.


273% in 11 years!!!

? ?
a radical idea as to "why", from me.
more young souls entering the world! *really* young souls! first timers! thus to be a Human: this could be the very first Incarnation, thus it is ALL that many can do just be BE here!
this is the timepoint of Graduation for us all older souls. just like when Jesus Ascended and took all that class with him, leaving only younger souls behind to have the dark age where even Perspectives were not used in paintings and that Spirit took out most of the references in the Bible to reincarnation AS spirit did that so not to disturb the young souls with too too much info!
so if we older souls were to Love these autistic kids and show them care and love: this will be a very good start for them, on the long long road of incarnations, in the 12,000 years ahead, as we all live now in Spirit worlds, perhaps guiding them all from above!
we too were once young souls, thousands of years ago, have sympathy for the freshmen classmates as we too were once freshmen just like these! and the "autistics"? why they will become old souls some day....rembrandts...Einsteins...
ah time and then there is time. apples ripen and then the rot-time comes and then it is time to go on to another apple tree!

if MY vision tells me aright, i have about 6 to 8 months to "one year to live" journal is about that.
a letter to someone.

yes the moon affects me too, the times of "doing something when it is time". everything is like that...there is a time for everything and the mind and soul is suppossed to meander like a river but the modern age is like an interstate highway and there is no flow. me, myself, i meander. always seem to take the longest route, either in space or time.

I have no regrets, i would live my life without changes if i had to do it again. and i have had over 100 visions of the afterlife worlds too, the tombstone is a door, not a dead end.


Friday, October 18, 2002


Perhaps the medical term for how my brain is, "high level functioning Autistic"! I
think only in images, so much so that i have great trouble eating with someone as i *have* to
choose: food OR talk! not both.
i have now seen how the field of counsciousness is like of a hole in a sheet of paper, where
one peers at the world and at life through that hole that might be three inches wide. naturally,
one does not see beyond the edges of the sheet, one cannot be aware of *everything*
in the envirnment, at one time. holds true for the mind too, one tends to see the world in terms
of one's life only, thus "bias' and predjedices" are natural.

I have a pinhole for my hole! just a tiny pinprick of a hole in that sheet of paper. what that
means to me is...that i can only see and do and think one thing at a time! if i am tying my shoes,
i am NOT buttoning my shirt! that sounds simplistic, but try me when i eat. takes all of my
attention to look at that slice of tomato and to bring my fork up to it and sense the utter area of
the tomato-slice for to put the fork onto it where this slice will not fall off and stain my shirt red.
i cannot also be thinking of what someone is talking to me about....i might be on a street in new
york, in my imaging, as this person tells me of his trip: there is NO tomato slice on that street
and no street on my tomato plate!! why does not anyone understand that?! thus i have to
ignore him or eat; i have whole meals on the cafe table, utterly uneaten!! no way that i could
find the food, as the person talks of Interesting things that require *every* byte of brain hard
drive space!

this akes me utterly utterly bigoted and biased on *everything* of course, as when i see some
person that is "different", that is ALL that i see, and if something comes to mind, it is the very
very first cultural bias that i have been Saturated with since childhood, and also the very air
that around me has that bias too.
---"cannot you, freestone, back away from this perception and make your own intellectual
stand, to over come this"?-----someone could ask me.

i cannot.
if i try that, i become unaware, completey, of the person that i am looking at! ...or the concept
that brings up that bias!
if i concentate on concentating, that is all i end up doing...concentrating! and being utterly

this is why autistic people often tell ya in your face some perception that Wounds! if you
weigh 350 pounds, the perception, to him *is* obvious and he cannot cannot also see the
"social graces" that would keep him silent! in fact, that may be *ALL* that he can talk about to
this fat person, as that weight IS.......fills all of his limited hard drive of a brain, to be NOT aware
of it, is also not to be aware of the fat person at all! thus the "proper" autistic talk, to the fat
person, is to talk of nothing BUT how fat he is....!!

the "hell" of autism.

this is why my journal often is filled with "biases and bigotries"...for such an old soul...and
probably will be until i die. and after i die, i will go to ONE heaven not to all heavens. and
everything in that heaven will be a bias to other heavens...the music heaven is not the science
heaven....for instance!

what is the politically correct donut?
why it is....buying one of each so that no donut is offended. take a bite out of each, if you buy
a cherry donut, you are biased and bigoted against the strawberry...the chockolate...the
better yet: put them all into a blender and blend at maximum power for ten minutes, then eat the
grey mush...but you will not offend!

---what is the xmas gift to give to a liberal professor?!
a persian rug, knitted of one color thread! tell him of the intricate pattern on this rug, but one
cannot see it, as the dye is one color. "yellow" dye is not "red" dye and thus as each color
does not take the other colors into consideration, there is bias and bigotry there. no offense is
made if the rug is one color.

Thursday, October 17, 2002

tia the first cool day for north florida. Suddenly i am aware that it is fall. leaves change now, in my hometown in new york state. summer is over.
May 13th creeps ever ever the closer.
[vision on may 13th 2002: "in one year you, freestone, will begin your spirit life"!]

I look around me at all the lives. young souls, old souls....all trying to dance the dance, of life, the best they can. Most do not think of death. most do not see that "front range" of the Rocky mountains loom before them: they live on the Plains with the deathmountains yet over the event horizen of time.

sorta hard for me too, to comprehend....

I recall, several times in my life, when i had experiences where i wondered IF i could soon die: like that 20 days in the hospital with pnuemonia...1993.
On ONE of these events, after healing, i took a long long walk, out in the open country-side of upstate new york, and prayed in earnest..."Please oh please, Lord...if there is the "real" time of my death that *really* approaches, for "real", and not just "symbolic" of some Change or other, here on earth...
please oh please, Spirit, Let me Know a year in Advance"!!

I got what i prayed for.

but then again i have a History of psychic foreseeings of each and every place that i would move to, months to a year in advance! "photo-clips" of scenes, scenes that I would see when i got there, months in advance.
i have already seen *the* cabin that i will first stay in, when i first get to heaven, in the "appalacian Mountain-land"! also have seen some of this other visions.

Wednesday, October 16, 2002

Been weblogging so long now that I have a lot of links, mostly to Interesting
weblogs that i have come across. I finally got a weblog going, of *just* my links!
They are mostly other weblogs, with a few spiritual sites and tech sites.

Each link has a short review and comment, about it. Alas, i have so little time to read all of each site, let alone checking them all weekly! a bit "compulsive/collective"! Maybe *YOU*, reader, might benefit more from linking to my linkweblog, more than i will: you might find something interesting there.
Now that "freestonelinks" is big enough to actually be interesting to others, I will promo it a bit!

If you want to, you may submit to me *your* link to your site and i may put it in my page if I like it.! Put it in the comment box or mail me at

Tuesday, October 15, 2002

--A Walk Through Humanity's history!! The Dream!

*That* was an Interesting dream that i had last night! I met a masterlike Spiritguide, in some heavenworld, and he took me on a Tour, a tour of humanity's history. but in symbolic form, probably using some spirit-created teaching device, used to teach and to show others with.

We two stood, or rather, nearly hovered over, a shoreline. there was the beach, the land behind, the shoreline, then there was the sea. The land looked like "normal" land, a thin slice of beachsand, then grass, rocks, and yet more grass going backwards to the small hills.
We floated about 60 feet off of the shoreline, about 100 feet out over the water. the master tells me that this shoreline depicts in symbol-form, the whole history of mankind! from left to right. seemed like one foot of beach equaled one year.
NOW...each and every little stick, stone, item...any "something" that was on or near the shoreline was symbolic of something in the Timeline, of mankind!
---sigh...i could not recall the hour or so of floating over several thousand years of History...but my Attention was rivited upon what he now said...."there, on the sand, next to the water, see that pot with
its lid off, the lid is several inches away from that pot: *that* symbolizes how at the period of
German Nazi times [1930s], humanity nearly split into TWO races, of spirit"!
yes, i was now up to 1930.
As my time of 6 AM awakening came near, i was more "lucid": recalling yet more of the travels forwards in time. about ten more feet yet ahead, i saw what looked to be a HUGE pine cone! nearly as large as a pineapple, looking like a pineapple. the master did not tell me what this was indicative of....but the timeline
suggests "WW II"....somewheres around 1940-1945. One foot per year...seems to be the ratio. I floated along a bit more, to the right, along this beach, i must have floated nearly 60 to 100 feet further; that would mean the time point, on the beach, would be of "now", or perhaps in the near future!
At this "now" or at the very near future, i saw a *real* signifigent "something" on the sand!
the shoreline curved around to the left, making a point of land, a point of about 50 to 100 feet of land that stuck out into the sea. out in the sea, about another 60 feet from this point, was a very small island of rock about 60 feet across and ten feet high.

a marker.
this island is a marker for a major major MAJOR Indicator, in the history of man!! think "highligher pencil underlining", this island.
I went over to the point. There was a creek about three feet wide coming down to the sea, right down the middle of the point, making this point a "small delta". i noted that one could walk up the banks of this creek, into hills from where the creek flowed from. And...this creek suggested that it was *not* to be crossed: one HAD to leave the sea and walk up along this creek, if one were walking along the shore!
Meaning: at this point in Humanity's time, all of humanity's history will end, on earth, for *this* "class" of souls!! They all will go up into spirit and live away from the earthplane, from the Shore, and maybe never never reincarnate onto the earth again! High school will be *over*: graduation is then----for *all* of humanity that are in "the currant class", the souls that have been on the earth since the beginning of the "Schoolyear"...12,000 years ago [?]! The Rapture" in slow motion: does not even have to have a single "earthchange", either, to cause this Graduation-all-at-once as this "currant" class only needs about 70 more years of life before all are "dead" of old age!
[notice any "very good' old souls dying early, of late?!!]
Thus man's history, individually, collectively, will transfer its theater of action, of history, to the Spirit worlds, at this graduation time! No more Incarnations to earth! All of our future classes and learnings will take place in the Spirit worlds, under the laws of Spirit, not earth laws!

Also, as this Class of souls walk UP the left creekside, the NEW class of baby-souls, are coming down from the hills, down from the spirit-worlds, en-masse, on the Right side of this creek, to enter the earthsphere for their, perhaps, very first incarnations upon the earth!
One class leave: another class Comes! probably at the same time, the same generation! Souls from the spiritworlds who have never had a physical incarnation.
Probably, on earth, at this time, there will be a mixture of both very very old souls and a lot of very very young souls, all together at the same time. Perhaps even oldsoul mothers could have "children from hell"...babysouls for children, where their souls come from the litteral Hellworlds, on their way upwards to Salvation, in the high spiritworlds, needing to incarnate *as* a human being, on The Way There!
These mothers may grit their teeth at having such "trouble-maker" kids, but these mothers , being old souls, can give SO so so much, to these kids, in their first incarnations, setting to Tone for goodness and Quality, at the very first incarnation, for the whole of the rest of their "schoolyear" of 12,000 years!!
These incoming souls may be here for the whole school-cycle of, say, 12,000 years. the shoreline goes ever onwards, for thousands of years, for this New Class, in the earthschool: but WE will leave, WE will Graduate to the spiritworlds, soon!
No wonder spirit is stimulating us all, to be hyperactive, with cell phone in each hand, waving them franticly, living a year of living in one week! the last life on earth...get it all done, all the karma done with...each and every thing done here is a huge preperation for the spiritworlds!
like: every "punch" of experience, in your earthly "life-ticket" an Admittance to a corresponding Temple, in heaven. temple of music, art, poetry, mothering....etc...etc...
so burn that candle at both ends and throw it in the microwave and give that microwave MAXIMUM POWER to nuke that life-candle to incandesant vapor!

How far ahead?? how far ahead *is* this event, anyway?! I was NOT told that. but it looks, from what i see, that this event is NOW! we are all in it, we all are at the point of turning upwards along the creek that flows from a higher elevation of land that is above this beach.

Monday, October 14, 2002

---A University in the Spirit worlds.

Las night's dream was very interesting. i could tell that the events of this dream lead me to think that the locale of this University that I spent my night in the
Spirit worlds: a University in heaven!
i can only recall some of the scenes, plus there was my psychological reaction to my being there and overwhemed by it all....

That math class!
the name of the class was something
like..."A/A + TGN...N"
*that* was the name of the course!! can you just imagine what the difficulty level would be like? I sat in this class for one moment, on the first day of its class, and when the instructor began to softly talk a math language so so high above my comprehension, i saw one half of the class get up to leave. And this lecture was only the introduction to the course!
i got up too, and left. outside of the building, i dispaired at even finding the building for where the "add and remove courses" was!
*This* image will remain in my brain, folks....that Vista across the green, where i dispaired, to even FIND that department! i could see about 50 buildings, all about 20 stories tall, and all of them in the most most "avant-garde" archetecture...."star treckees" would be proud...*very* unworldy!!
In THIS university, people flew through the air...popped in and out of "transport booths"! People with robes and "other countries and times" to their looks!

---i dispaired at even taking even one course!
woke up!!

Just how WOULD i approach being a student at such a Spirit University, anyway?! I WILL have that opportunity, very soon!
there will be no fees, maybe no time limit to graduate: so what would i DO, there, upon stumbling/being led, through the gates?
a university that would make a "Cornell"...a "MIT"...a "Yale", look like some Dirtwater City Junior College for fast food servers!

---first; gotta feel out What I Want to DO, with that Learning, afterwards.
---spend a "semester" just sitting in classes to get the feel, and to hang out in the pubs/clubs/coffeehouses, talking to students.

I feel that i would want to become a counselor, in heaven,
to help people become Their True Selves. To maximize their own talants. Self-empowerment, via their own connection with Spirit, within.

Probably means that i need to take a bit of *every* course! from math to science to music to metaphysics to gardening! gotta have a rich rich background so that i can talk to souls, using their own backgrounds, as a Dialogue-base! talk mechcanics in "repair talk", doctors in medical topics, business oriented souls with a business background.... these incoming souls in heaven....someday.
probably have 50 years of college ahead of me!

Saturday, October 12, 2002

"where is your umbrella?"!

---As i walked across Campus this morning, to the Library, i walked slowly, enjoying the nice warm morning: about 10 AM, the birds sing and the land is lush and green, the sky has only a few high clouds in it. Library opens at 10. i got there two minutes early and in front of the still locked door, a man turned to me and said something to me.
he is about 65 or so. maybe retired, maybe part-time, a library professional. He works in "Documents". He *looks* "documents" too!! i see him there each and every saturday at 10 am, he is always the first in line. the document section is in the basement, there are no windows. my "from 500 feet away" perception, of this man, is that "documents" and their Management *IS* his life.
I have seen him at Macdonalds, across the street, just waiting for the library to open, a puppet without it's
strings, as if Documents is all that is real, for him: his wife has passed on...he lives alone...documents is his life.

so. he turned to me and uttered a "critical-sounding' statement, as if I offened him by my absence of an object.
"where is your Umbrella?", he says.....
a blue sunny sky. but in HIS world...."no umbrella" = "not SAFE"!
could rain. could do a lot of things, gotta be safe.

would be very very easy to "Dis" this man, be "down' on him, for being so so "neuroutic"!

---my take.
so you go to a library for some *very* detailed research. people like him make sure that each and every document is there and in place: your whole research depends upon people like him! same with those "nerdy" programmers who look like pale ghosts as they *never* go out for some sun! they root out each and every code-error, so that YOU can surf and access your sites!

they are the foot-soldiers, the front line people, for managing all of the books and documents that
must be In Place, Exactly, on the shelf, so that they can be Found!

Spirit tells me that there are temples in heaven where a spirit person can find the location of each and every deceased relative that has come to heaven before matter how long ago! In the vastness of heaven's realms, these "akasa record" keepers and managers let no soul slip through their fingers and their Records.
I will Guess who will be one of their fellow workers, after he dies!
when *you* arrive in heaven some day, you will DEPEND upon many souls just like of this Librarian, to keep the heavenly records in order!
You, [and me] , probably have at least 10,000 souls, that know you....and that you might like to find, and they find you, after you get settled in your space in heaven! Souls like this Librarian, will
be the record-keepers.

Friday, October 11, 2002

well, seeing that i went to Germany the night before and wrote up that account, here, yesterday, i was given, last night, yet another dream of going to see a , for me, a strange place!

here i am, a "whitey", a WASP, born and raised in the rural upstate new york, and when i first saw television as a 16 year-old kid, in about 1957, i wondered about a certain ad that tried to tell me about
"getting along with the black, Negro, race". Negro?? who? what?

Now I live in the heart of Dixie, tallahassee, fla.

---the dream. all that I can recall of it, is this: that i walked through a small town to the outside of town to where the countryside began and there were many small old houses. Interesting for me to talk to this "black young man" and shake his hand in the "yo brother" Way, saying that same expression. then going to talk to a family in one of the small old farmhouses.
[ a Northerner, in 1950, might say..."that i went to the black side of a small town, in the south"!]

Interesting. Russia, germany, france.....from all over.
---perhaps the reason comes from what my Angelic Advisiors tell me, in my dreams! they tell me that I probably will work with and help other new-heaven-arrivees heal/restore/learn, in some way. i understand that *most* people, when they arrive into heaven, they go to their Place! the place or places that have many of their kind of people. thus the Farmer from upstate new york will go to "farm world"
My father, about six months after he died, he came to me in dream to talk. he told me that now he was living in what he called "the Victorian new york farm world" i saw scenes. old-looking farmhouses and barns. this is where the decaesed farmers go. at least at first.
but I may NOT go to "my place"...i will be with Humanity, anyone and everyone. german. chinese. African....whatever. to whereever the Angels direct me to go, probably.

I must remove all biases and bigotries Now!!
---and *that* is very very can a tea-bag, sitting in the teacup full of tea, ever get the tea out of the bag? i have been steeped, like that bag, in our culture from birth and had absorbed each and every predjudice, unknowingly....the predjudices *everyone* had, for miles around, in the 1940s.....

Thursday, October 10, 2002

a very strange dream last night!

I was on a large open plowed field, in what i knew to be Germany! a very very lucid dream. i must go all over the world, in my astral travel. "objective germany"?
probably not. "using the memories of a german farmer"?
maybe. "going to a heaven that is where germans live?
This was a springtime, i could see off in the distance the young leaved trees. i could hear a train whistle and the train, off in the distance. there were clouds and mists, i could see hills off in the distance. probably just south of berlin, in the foothills east of the Harz mountains. old East germany.
---must have been using the memories of other people, somehow. people who are either still alive or else in Spirit.
i walked across this field slowly. must have been all of 100 acres. took forever. at the back of the field was a path. i could see vividly the plants and trees and noted how they were either the same as in america or different. i could see floribunda rose plants in the pasture behind the field. then there was a house.
the people in the house welcomed me and i tried some of my college german and it was *just* sufficent for a fumbling conversation! then a younger lady came up who spoke english...finally there were about 20 people and two dogs, in a house that actually "looked" german.
we all had a nice long talk.
strange...often these dreams go on and on whether "i am still there or not"! as if there is an independant "freestone" who is dreaming it, whether i even wake up and go to the bathroom...or an hour go by; when i dream again, the dream is still ongoing! when i dreamed again, now i was in "Berlin". i was looking at the ruins of a nazi barracks or a museam.

[my netscape does not work with spellcheck!! as i do most of my posting in netscape..i WILL be mis-spelling a *LOT*, in the weeks ahead!! I have a choice: words or meanings, if i chose "correctness" of words, i will not be image-orientated, thus say nothing *real* in my posts! so grit ye teeth, oh ye 'correctness", Virgo, people!!]

I could feel the presence of the aura of the nazi troops who were stationed there.
then i later found myself in a german bar! it was full of punkish kids. i went up to the bar and ordered a house brand beer, sort of 'scared' of all the young men around me, as IF i were to go to a workingman's bar on the south side of the steel district! but i had a nice talk with the guys.
lter, after waking up and going back to sleep...i was in a german home again. the "masterlike" owner, seemingly some kind of occult leader, asked me if my body-type was of a man or a woman...whether my waist and hips were
*like* a man or woman. as i took off my shirts to have him look, i woke up...but i was able to "construct " where he was coming from and what the signifigence of body-type was!
---He and his "school" had a therory that this body-type thing greatly influenced whether a man was feeling or Thinking, in his Soul.
" the man who is built like a woman is "franco [france] and Loves. in this cynical and often angry/depressed world, no one can return this pure child-like innocent love the *way* that he pours it out, so it comes back twisted and corrupt and , too, this love-need that he has can never never be filled, on earth: only in heaven can it he becomes bitchy and "negative" and his feeling-nature. thus this franco man needs to face the Northeast that is "Tuetonic" [German]. he needs the structure of "time-space-particularness". needs phlisosophy and metaphysics so that the Love-nature that is his soul...can be channeled upwards towards higher vibrations, in this material world.
....and the man who is Tuetonic-german, who is built like a man [most men]. he is nearly all mind-structure-form, and no love, "juice", softness----he needs Love in his life. he needs to face the Southwest...of "franco" [france]!
He needs to open his heart and to develop love!

My body is of a woman-build! my hips are far wider than my chest and even my shoulders!
i ougha be...i have all my inner planets in the sign Cancer and mars in a water sign and the rest of the planets are in the 12th house!
---anyway....that is what this german occult teacher had to say.

---i can see from what he says that the many women that i have known who were Whiney and bitchy....this explains it! they wanted to love totally and be loved Totally, utterly, with no holding back and 100% pure and love and to BE loved, in return, that way.
they could never get that kind of love, in return, so of course they are not satisfied, and become bitchy and whiney!

Wednesday, October 09, 2002

Required Reading For Today!!
----in the wednesday issue of the new York Times, there is this article. Go to the site to read the entire article. here is a man who recieved one of the very first totally artifical hearts, and he lived for one year. he thinks that he lived that year in vain, should have died!

October 8, 2002

On Medicine's Frontier: The Last Journey of James Quinn


P HILADELPHIA — On the day his doctors disconnected his artificial heart, ending his life, James

It was Aug. 26, nearly nine months after Dr. Louis E. Samuels, a transplant surgeon at Hahnemann University Hospital here,
removed Mr. Quinn's diseased heart and replaced it with a mechanical one, turning the 52-year-old retired baker into a research
pioneer. Now, with his patient brain dead after a stroke, Dr. Samuels was presiding over the unplugging of the device that had kept
Mr. Quinn alive longer than anybody dared hope — perhaps, both he and his surgeon thought, too long.

Mr. Quinn's final gesture marked the last, awful moments in an experiment that ethicists say raises serious questions about the
participation of dying patients in medical research. By the standards of the Food and Drug Administration, which oversees the trial,
the experiment was a success — Mr. Quinn survived more than 60 days with his new heart, more than twice as long as he was
expected to live when he received it.

But his quality of life was poor. In an interview shortly before the stroke that killed him, Mr. Quinn, known as Butch, said that if he
had to do it all over, he would stick with his natural heart.

"This is nothing, nothing like I thought it would be," he said. "If I had to do it over again, I wouldn't do it. No ma'am. I would take my
chances on life."

Tuesday, October 08, 2002


there is a station in Tallahassee that is dedicated to playing modern rock music. i tune across the dial to listen to rock music and avoid the ads, the music stimulates my Imagination: a meditation technique i have.
i notice one interesting thing! Each and everytime that i cross the modern rock station, on the dial, i hear the very same note!
the same note.
every time!!
---it is the sound of an Anguished Wail!! A wail tinged with rage and anger.....
*that* is our Music of Today, i now see......!!
Whether it is rock...rap...hip-hop: the same note is sung or played over and over and over....just one ragefull wail!

for a second my 1959 19-year-old Puritain-nature Arose! " *this* is where Music has sunk to, these days?! And the Kids? They have come to that?!"


I feel that our kids are a symbol of our Souls....collectively.
Thus, i now see that this anger/rage/ *OUR* anger/rage/wail! all of us. you. me. her. him...everyone is like that today! these songs of anguished rages are our songs!

for another second, my 1950 puritan nature raises its voice..."then *this* is how far we all have Sunk"!!


what i now see, in hearing these snits of rage, on the radio, is this:
-----it is the Sound of Accelerated Learning Taking Place! *this* is the sound that a college kid makes
when he sees that he has three weeks of classwork yet to do, when there are only four more days of classes left, in the School year! This Enrichment time of cell phones, internet, weblogs, media, are Tools for learning. surely souls stood in line, waitiing to incarnate to the earthplane, the opportunities to grow in learning, must be the greatest, in the whole of earth's history!

thus *you* with your cell phone bleeping, as you sit in front of your computer, with 57 projects to do before 5PM quiting, with 15 more things to do before bedtime and everything seemingly Falling apart before your eyes....why you are living "ten years worth of life, condensed into one year"!

---I know several, mostly older people, who will *not* touch the Internet because of all the "sleeze and crap" on it!
----or...that they say that "there is nothing good on the internet" [a quote from at least three people that i know!] yes, a mouseclick away from porn to Creative sites. but these people are not doing their class assignment homework, in the school of life, i feel!
as in the medical profession, where the new buzzword is..."the patient should take an active part, in his own healing and become part of the recovery-team": in Life 301 *not* "life 101"! that saying was the saying for about 1959!]
in life "301" should take an active part in one's own life choices and actions.
but the choices are a-coming at ya ever the faster!! as ya stand there before the Counter looking at the 58 kinds of MINT-flavored dental floss, trying to you go through ten relationships in a year, as you take six jobs and move across country, in that year....
---the Note Sounds, in our Collective Song: the Kids have it right!!

Monday, October 07, 2002

I heard an Interesting quote, the other day.

"Lies are often the bodyguards to truths"!

Saturday, October 05, 2002

---a comment that i made to someone......
"about how each of us is handicapped in some way, often not visible to others"!

yes while i have most of my journals over at
[[ ]]
for instance.....

I DID discover that i needed to get a site in order to comment, like back to you!!

and i know the secret of the handicapped! the secret is.....that we ALL are handicapped in some way! all all too too often this handicap is not visible to others so that they do not make allowances for it! after all, that "red tipped cane" for the blind person, is really for US, as it is a flag for us to make allowances and aids to this blind person.

Some of us are handicapped...being:

Genetic-driven depression/ADD/manic-depressions/autisms.

a woman.
a man "in the wrong place and time!

my sister had a wheelchair person in her office that had more access-rights than she! My sister *looked* healthy, but she had a medical allergy to cigarrette smoke and in 1980 illinois, there were few places that she could go to, publicly! but she LOOKED very ok!

It is what we *do* with this disibility that Counts! can we overcome it?
can we even use it as a Talant...a strength?!


Friday, October 04, 2002

another day.

yet another day for learning and seeings. i am sometimes amazed at just how "young", the souls around me seem to be, in this college town! young in soul as well as in years.
I hold to the experience that i will copy-out, for you all, below........that we all are in "school".
I cannot fall victum to that insidious disorder that i call "the redneck putdown"! this is where seemingly
intelligent people see the UN-intelligence around them and they go ballistic and cynical about the State of Life and Civilization.
my article.....

kids draw

I live in a very small Upstate New York town. Very
The Grade school playground looks out onto the corn
fields...pine trees
flank one side of it.
I often walk out to this playground, after supper;
there, i can see the
open sky and smell
the fresh air.

Here it was had been in session
only a week or so.
The tennis court had just been paved with nice fresh
tar only a week ago,
and none of the lines or
netting had been replaced yet. I walked over to
it...i could see how nice
and pure black it was.

But on this evening's walk, i could see some markings
upon the tar.
I could see, as i came near ...chaulk drawings on it.
I took a closer look..
Yes------some very creative second grade teacher had
just that afternoon,
taken her class
outdoors, on this nice day----and she marked off
six-foot squares, in
chaulk. Then she gave
each kid a handfull of colored chaulk....and then
assigned them all to the
fresh black pavement.
One square per kid; to draw a drawing and sign their

Now, here, i came across the 7 pm result, of this
Drawings.i could see---- maybe thirty colored
drawings. One per student.

MY!...what a difference between them! Some were drawn

with great care
and of great talent...some were done in haste...and
some drawings were only
of a cuss-word or two, and maybe some sharp angry
jagged lines. A social
might call these angry kids "dysfunctional"!

And----i recognized most of the last names. These
were the Children of
all the
townspeople...people that i grew up with.

As i stood admiring a couple of Very talented
drawings...done by some
of my relative's children....
---A Spiritual inspiration came to me!!

---As if these children were the SOULS of the
townspeople, and what was
drawn out, was an
expression of the Quality of these Souls! ---as if
the whole of their years
of living their lives,
were summerized, somehow, in these drawings!
I took this analogy further....

In second grade, one is learning how to draw...after

all, kids are
kids!----half-ripe fruit can only
HINT at the fullness of the taste, of its
ripeness-to-come, in time.
They WILL make mistakes!
Ya learn art..or doing.
One earns how to the very act of drawing.

Same as with life!
No one will "go to Hell'..for their sins or mistakes.

We are Artists....on
the lower levels of
spirit..Learning How To Draw. Someday..we all will
to becoming , I guess..what the Bible says..."to
become Co-creators, with his
heaven celestial, with Him"!!

But right now....we are just beginning.
We must be free to try anything!
Do anything!
It is "OK"!! It is ok to make mistakes and to "mess
up" the drawings! If
feedback-from-life, is
needed---life will, in due time, supply this------as
Soul reality
follows laws and rules--Spiritual laws and rules.
Many call these rules..."KARMA"!....or, "dharma.
Thus, if mistakes are, itself, will give
to us some feedback.

So---we all ought to become as creative as
must be the very at the very heart of what constitutes

"one's Soul"!

This the late
must be of a "Golden Age"...of Trying Something New"!

As i surf the net...i see many very creative posts
and sites...I am
utterly amazed!.
---I have a window upon things that were not even
DARED to be thought
alone the 1950s!!!

the highest highs..the lowest lows...are of a mouse
click away!
But who but Spirit can say what is "good" art...or of
"bad" art!

Wednesday, October 02, 2002

Death to all trees!!! What IF all the temperate forest trees and woody-bushes DIE?! This is a "sleeper' and no one Notices, notices that this could have more of an Impact upon humanity than AIDS, I suspect, in 10 to 20 years!! wake up everyone!!
---all north american trees and bushes die!
---no more apples, pears, etc...etc.
---no trees!
---no wood.
---60% of the forest/bush dependant temperate lands animals become extinct!
---imagine the whole pacific northwest without a *single* tree!
---imagine Dayton, Ohio, or Chicago....not a tree or bush to be found!
---all the redwoods and sequoias become extinct.

In the Science section of tuesday's new york times, there was this here article about trees dying.
I give to you all just a bit of the article, the link is below. there, at the link, is the rest of this article.

[October 1, 2002
As Trees Die, Biologists Battle Back

"""Such is the power of this plant pestilence that has infiltrated much of California and jumped to Oregon, and that
researchers fear could easily spread to the midwest and east. The disease has already killed tens of thousands of trees in
California and spread to 17 different species, including huckleberry, big leaf maples, rhododendrons and bay trees.
Scientists have found it can also infect the northern red oak and pin oak, species that are widespread in the East and
Midwest. Recently, the United States Forest Service declared large regions of the East, including the southern
Appalachian Mountains, whose climate would probably suit the disease, as areas of high risk."""

""""Some days I think maybe it's not going to be so bad," Dr. Rizzo said. "But maybe the real effects of this disease are
going to be played out later, 15 years from now. Dutch elm disease, chestnut blight took 50 years. Sudden oak death was
just observed seven years ago." """

-----another article.

----or this very very Lucid, scientific, article about this brand new fungus that never has ever been seen on the earth before! read: "no natural Immunity"!!!

Tuesday, October 01, 2002

strange strang dream lst night!

was not a "first person, but nearly was!

I stand by a stream, a stream that one could be boating upon, overhung by trees. there was a very very intense, intelligent man next to me. I got the distince feeling that I was next to a creek just southwest of Washington DC. the man's name seemed to be something like "Colby". he was once with the Intelligence service, seemed to be one of those CIA or some other Agency, career man.
he told me some of his life, a deeply feeling stry of his relationship that failed, with a lady.
[astral?---or was he dead from the earth, perhaps this is so, that he died a number of years back: he wanted to meet me]

i cannot recall much more...
I have to apologize to "clearchannel radio"!

I went to listen to the "brand new pirate radio" yesterday: station plays elevator music all friday, promishing a brand new station Monday, a favorite rock station of 30 years!

when i tuned to it, i heard "elevator-like" slow music, but the singer seemed to be Perl jam!
"the brand new-rock and old rock station, the FOX"!

so then Mick jagger is next then some new rock...things are OK!