Tuesday, August 13, 2002

the 13th already!

last nigh another dream that i see getting ever the stronger messeges....
seems that about once per week, i have a similar dream:-------about how i need to get away from my friends and be alone!
Finally, i am getting the messege!
these dreams are NOT about how i need to "go off into the desert, alone"!
these dreams warn me not to "loop through a living friend, my "trips""!
---and what i mean by this[ oh words words, they are SO difficult to find: most of what i write of, here, is not taught in high school classes, or college classes!]
what i mean by this is....suppose i am sitting in the cafe, coffee cup in hand. then i ponder how my visions are not understood by many people. then i imagine a close friend who does not believe my visions. in my imaginative state, i then discourse and argue with him, trying to "convince' him of my truth.

as IF he were at the table. right now. that is what i mean by my term "looping".
as if i "need" my friend present, need even to convince him!

Thus if this state of mind continues, for years, i surround myself with mental images of all of my friends and other people, who are "opposed" to my[any] states of mind, and kinda argue with them, in my head.
*very* dangerous!! not only am i also looping through them in my head where i am not "alone", i am also looping ASTRALLY through the living friends as they go about their daily affairs at the time that i am sitting there thinking about them.
----and when i die?!
when i die, if the looping still goes on, i will be attached to them in heaven while they are still on earth!
thus my attention would then still be "looking downwards upon the earth", to have me still keep track of my friends and contrast and compare my ways with theirs! i am thus not *in* heaven, fully!
even when they eventually die, if this looping-pattern is still there in me, why we all WOULD be "stuck" on each other, as the looping would bind us all togther.
Thus, i must free myself from my friends, INWARDLY: not think like they are all around me, in my head!
there. 300 words just to state one small idea! i really needed 700 words, as there is very little "psychological equivalents" in our language that is Spirit centered: thus few english words for all of this!

probably ALL of my blogger posts will be long, in the future, as *all* is so so so subtle, and multi-level complex!