Monday, April 22, 2002

the perfume lady is back!

a sad story follows.

a couple of years ago, i often went out to the tallahassee Mall, where there was a Piccidilys cafeteria, where i would eat an early supper. went near every day, until i moved to another part of town.
In the mall, there were always about three or four people who worked for some "consumer test agency", interviewing mall customers.
there was a lady who stood right in front of the caferteria, i got to know her a bit. she says she moved to another city every year or so...
she was VERY eliptic and a doctor would call her "shizoprenic"! *very* eliptical in her words. I could not talk to her, no sense was ever to be made with anything that she says! she was about 20 maybe, or even older: age was hard to tell....
she had her own private symbol system, very very intricate and involved and hers alone. i cringed when i saw her, eventually, there was no escape, she stood in front of the door of the caferteria!
she wore lots and lots and lots of perfume and i am quite ALLERGIC to perfume. i would tell her over and over and over about how i had to stand ten feet from her; the perfume was so bad and it always mildly wounded her in my telling of my allergy!

i have coffee at 7 am at a tallahassee obscure cafe. one morning she appeared there. i tried to talk but her elipticness and that *massive* PERFUME, I HAD TO MOVE TO THE OTHER END OF THE CAFE TO GET AWAY.
she began to appear near every morning!
i just KNEW that she came because of me! she had an attraction for me: she alone without a man!
one day she told me that she was a week.
one day she came in the cafe and proudly and lovingly gave to me a parting gift all wrapped up, she awaitied my Opening of her farewell gift.
it was...
a huge decanter of very very expensive COLONGE...perfume for a man! strong strong suff!
i squacked again about my allergies.

she ran out of the cafe, sobing and crying her perverbial eyes out!

---my server aqauntance, a guy working his way through college, had this to say to me, after she ran out.
"you, freestone, probably should have accepted the perfume and then pitched it in the trash AFTER she left, but of course she expected you to WEAR it, put it on in front of her, perfume up real good for HER!
ya know, freestone, you were probably the ONLY man who ever ever knew her where that man did not see her *as* a sex-object, only!! you treated her as a person..."

yeah...sigh...many would have said that i should have soaked myself In that perfume, just for her alone...and wore it for life just for her sakes...

now she is back at her job, back in town again!! i rarely ever go to that mall now...she may not ever want to come to that cafe.....MAYBE i will not have to relate with her again: how can I? not one sentence makes a bit of sense, of anything that she says....!!

---she is an incarnated angel, from the angelic realm, coming to get a Human soul! as a human soul...there is Individualism. then to work WITH God, instead of being a servent of God...that is why humankind is created higher than the angels!
alas...she brings her angel world with her, this maybe-first human incarnation! she may be barely able to function, psychologically...all of her inner value systems relate to a reality that is *utterly* alien to the human realm!
---i can see why, now, she gave to me that perfume spite of at least 30[!] warnings, over months of time, about how allergic i was to perfumes!!
because Love is formless and ideals have nothing to do with earthly conditions! my being allergic has absolutely nothing to do with her reality: that perfume is the Essence of spirit! how could i deny it and thus her as well?!!
"wine is wine: the cup is not relevent"---that is her Pain! her world has nothing to do with "length breath or form"!! thus my allergness does simply not regester!

a greater pain!
---that if i WERE to have accepted her perfume without reacting like i did, i would have just ENABLED
her past angelic-only condition!!! i would have DENIED her very incarnational intent in order to get that Human Soul: i did the right thing by having her make that scene of cryings and very upsetness!!
now ....i have great Compassion for her, in that she may have near-endless such encounters, of learnings: about what it means to "think" and to be aware of the Limits of the physical realm, and what it means to have a human soul---sympathy for all of the many hurts that she has and will have to experience. to skip the hurts would be like a father doing the highschool homework for his daughter! she would not learn if he did this work for her.
thus, i did not "enable", did not reinforce, her past angelic life, in my not accepting that perfume from her and wounding her so.....when she dies, she will then be able to enter the heavenly realm of human beings.