Friday, February 08, 2002

the old man!
I went to the cafeteria yesterday, expecting him to appear: he did not come.


my rant of yesterday, i feel, was NOT over THIS particular person....was not over him as a person. the inner conflict that I feel, is really over.... "how much do i go out for another person Who Seems To be In Need"!

as if i could tell if someone needs some "help"!
[after all, look at how many other people have helped me out, over the years.]

I also recall a sobering messege given by some Spiritual Teacher..."be carefull how you help people, if you do their life-lessons FOR them, much like a father doing his son's high school homework for him, this person will not learn for himself, that lesson that he was studying. In fact if that lesson were important enough for this person that you solved it for him: you may have to incarnate WITH him, in the next
earthly incarnations, both of you together, as he must reincarnate in order for him to complete this lesson on his own, and you because you interrupted him"!!

---but i can hear it now...."in India, it is said that if you were to walk past a pond and see a kid drowning in it, you should let the kid drown as it was his kama to drown"!
---but it could also have been your karma to rescue him!!

So i have to choose, myself, how much i help him or anyone else.

I told my old friend who lives next door, about this Encounter....and this friend told me with Certainty..."he is lying about his age, he is NOT 63"!
this gives to this ANOTHER twist, folks! as autistic and *very* sun-sign-cancer, i Respond to anyone's story as IF it were true, i need, perhaps, to feel that people can lie! I tend to accept, thusly, that everyone tells to me the truth.
But this old man told me his age with a feeling conviction! even though he LOOKED like he was maybe 75 or 80! his health is SO terrible, that he could be 63!
so what Motive does my friend have for telling me that he lies?! not that he could lie, but that he told me in such *certain* tones of conviction, that this old man lies! Interesting too, that my friend is "into" the guardijif fourthway path, where "games" are not to be played, and "awakedness" is valued above all: Is this statement of such certainty that the old man lies...a "mindgame" on his part? why does my friend "need" to tell me this?!

I will now have to "dectective" the old man and find out about his real age, not only to see if he lies[my help to him will be colored by what i find out!]. Too, by finding out his real age, i will learn more about my friend's perception! if i find out that the old man is telling truth: there is a second level to this event....why did my friend make his statement to me?!

--and yet another small twist: i sent a copy of my yesterday's posting to a email list that i subscribe to, and i got a reply.....that a psychic saw that this old man was really an Angel sent TO HELP ME!!