Wednesday, January 02, 2002

oh boy!!

i got an interesting year ahead of me folks!
one: on the day before new years, there were several instances where i "gave my space away"...and my astrological interested friend of 25+ years tells me..."in my world, if i get something the day before the end of the year, that means this is something to throw out and get rid of and it looks like, freestone, that you need to cultivate more standing up for yourself!"
i agree with that, readers.....oh boy!
what a price i must pay for this ....yes, astrologers amungst you readers...i have four planets in cancer/sun moon and mars in pices and everything else nearly, in the 12th house!!
i am not made to stand up for myself!

why today...that old man in the cafe where as i left with three minutes to catch my bus he yelled to me: says on this coldest day of the year his heater quit and he needs that yellowpage address yet AGAIN even though i wrote it out for him yeaterday about home health care for someone to help give to him an enema for a proceedure: he is so hard of hearing that i have to SCREAM at him and he has 4 hours of pure woe to download onto me about his health.
"oh poor poor poor poor me" his vibes...probably really needs a nursing home and what i "need" to give to him is where i go home with him to help him with his furnace and move in with him and care for him till he dies...his need is SO great!
--or do i catch the bus?!
i caught the bus.

i can see that i will make a lot of people MAD at me. i need to be selfish by Divine Decree!!!!
really: that is my new years messege: does NOT help that both my watches DIED on new years eve!
a terrible omen! my personal watch and my computer watch near my computer...both
and i am told that i must be more selfish. From Spirit, no less.

and i got a royal criticism from my Guestbook today!! "I am Racist". I sorta asked for that perception of "a Mackintosh apple is not a Courtland apple" got me Critiqued! but if i try to please everyone, why that is the heart of my troubles, giving that newspaper to that group of homeless as they took it from me and i did not stand up for my rights to claim my own paper: i see it now, i will get critiqed
royally for being not of sympathy to the homeless, by someone!

maybe i better say it now: there are racial differences profound.... and that many of the homeless get the life that they worked for during 20 years in order to get such, as each and every thing that made them like this now they worked on for those "20 years". "the schulptued head of limestone, that schulpter made 10,000 chips with his chisel, not one of them but all of the chips made the head as it looks like now". "your life fits you like a glove, you wove it, now change it if you want"...someone wrote.

so i do not like the bad vibes of most of the homeless and there are profound and utter differences in race, in in the spiritual realms, let alone the earthly realms!...
[yes....I guess i will have to accept that label of "racist" and "no sympathy/help for the homeless".]
i better. i cannot look at a pear and call it "an apple: this is the lesson i have to learn, from Spirit.
I may be *quite* alone, in heaven, having alienated all the other spirits, when i get there, but i will be ME!

sigh....nothing like being asked by Spirit to "swim upstream against the currant of the River of Spirit, BY
---guess i will join the KKK in heaven when i get there! they will embrace me with open arms...better to live a negative truth in self-Truth, than to try to live a "good ethical" lie!!