Saturday, June 30, 2001

yes I have dreamed dreams where i was with some person and then the next day that person comes to me and tells me that i was in their dreams and then she describes the very same scenery that i saw...

so that phrase is true, i feel, "see ya in my dreams"!!
as I was sitting on the 4 pm bus, i was wandering what i would write about. yes, on the bus, there are always lots and lots of people there. same ones all the time, too; i can follow some of their lives, several times a week, for months.

Everyone Has A Story, a life story, i see. that ten minute ride of seeing someone for ten minutes, why that is only just a few film-clips, on the large reel, of their lives! there is a "before", as well as the "after"!

I sit there, sometimes, trying to figure what kind of Inner life they have. and what kind of life in the world.
and everyone has a "tone", a vibration of character too, which remains constant everytime that i see them. I have identified people just from their walk, block and blocks away.

I note that sitting here, writing in my weblog, has given to me a kind of Disapline of seeing the "surround" in and of a person's life. like photo snapshops as it were....
the photographer must see his Subject in a kind of frame-setting, just as the storyteller must sense the
surround. I see that my keeping the weblog helps me to develop this "surround-sense"
[isure hope the server never goes out of business!!]
there was a Jewish Artist, marc Chagal, i believe, who painted scenes where the objects in the painting of some person would represent the life of that person.
it would be as if a photo were taken of "aunt Susie" standing in her driveway, and after the photo were developed, a TOAD is seen in front of her, on the tarmack of the driveway. as if this toad were to symbolize something within her!

In one of my Dreamvisions, my ten-years-into-heaven sister comes to me and she shows to me a very large large book. she tells me that this book is what she is study-ing there in her heavenland, she is in a class of some 100 students. this book she tells me "took 10,000 hours"[of heaven hours--time is different speed there]. She spent that amount of time in this course. she tells me, too, that when people come up to heaven from earth, their face soon reveals their whole life and it can be soon read in that face, each and every bit of that life! this book deliniates the language for this faceSoul decoding. On earth, she was a Social work masters[MSW] professor and textbook writer...did the groundwork on "confidentiuality and social work". of COURSE she would take up this subject matter---how to read the whole life of a person in their face!

I suspect that some of this can be done here, maybe not so much with a person's face, but with the rest of their outer lives.
like: the kind of dog or cat they own is Telling of their characters....
since everything is related to everything, why even here on earth, whatever a person is involved in reflects their soul---whether it is their handwritings, their house, their choice of vacations...whatever.......
speaking of my childhood, there was that house in upstate where in the wintertime the winds would howl endlessly.! sometimes that house would feel like it was strapped to a flatcar, roaring across Kansa at 70mph! one morning i woke up to a three foot arcing plume of snow, arcing from a crack in the window onto the floor three feet from the window!
i dared to look outside!
swirrling massess of snow passing by at maybe 60mph!! ugh!
feb march april even! snow to the eyeballs, i saw a man carve his car out of a snowdrift, that was of concrete of hardness!!

now i live in tropic breezes, caressing from the Sea far away, a dewpoint of 70 on a dry day!
60 in of rain per year and there is only two kinds of rain.
drench!! the sprinkle is one the way to drench or vs versa!! the first drop hit your head you gotta run for it or soak your underwear in ten seconds or less!! i once saw a wall of rain EAT a college girl!
i mean EAT!!
all i could see was one leg protruding, kicking uselessly....from sprinkle to total rain-- was about one foot and then visibility was about ten inches and the center of your textbooks are soaked in ten seconds and you could feel like drowning!!

---can ya tell, i majored in meteorology! weather!

there is no weather in the afterlife!
all the visions that i have seen, the sky is always blue blue, like the blue on a northern June summer day.
no clouds. no sun either, as the light was all around equally, in most scenes...
oh yes i recall clouds!!
they are the clouds that form the upper boundry of the earth: maybe from a lower heaven hilltop you could see the clouds below, like if you were on top of a Appalachian mountaintop! drop down through them and you would emerge into earth.
IF anyone is interested: go read "THE YOUNGER CENTER", a written-up vision, in my archives at the files section
oh yes, i could sit here every day and PREACH!
I am not a preacher.

I used to, when i was in the US Air Force, in the Intelligence Office [shhhh shhh shhh]!
the people around me would share something that they called "incredibilites"
---this is some past or present occurance, in life, that is just too too much! a charactiture of itself, perhaps....something just SO much that it is Incredible!

Like: that man in the 1998 Interlaken diner who had that slice of lemon pie in front of him and in three fork cutbites, the pie was gone! took him all of maybe 8 seconds to polish it off!

Like: my father's funeral during the biggest blizzard of the Year, in upstate: no one came! the undertaker lived next door and the preacher lived down the street, and his sister the Organist: that was all. just the three of them. no undertakers...just the three of them plus, 67,000,000,000,000 snowflakes.
well, well.....

I think that on Today i will begin a change in the slant and rant of this here weblog of mine!!

I intend to, from now on, I hope to place more focus onto "LIVING", living here and now, enjoying the garden while i have yet time! not to dwell upon "death" or even the afterlife AS such, except in reference to what i observe or live out, here, in this world.

---seems that there is so much "programming" in my soul, from my childhood and from the 1950 culture of the small town of that time; i grew up steeped like a tea bag in hot water, in that culture.
the culture of "negativity"...where if anything good happens to you or that if you create it: something veryvery bad will imediately occur to off set it: better to be a zero so that this "evil eye' will stay away, even better, do bad things to yourself first so that you beat them to it! "it always rains on the picnic and that $50 lottery checkwinner ticket will see a $52 car breakdown, the next day!

THAT is not the road to heaven!! or not even of a nice life here...


in this future writings, i will focus on the "incredibility" factor of life, the benevolently, weirdly, Wonderfull!!
"live an incredible life" is a slogun of mine......
there is too too cynicism around me, tooo much of it is installed onto my hard drive of a mind, by default: gotta Uninstall..... now!!
dwell upon the Incredibilities of life, instead!!

Friday, June 29, 2001


i went ahead and unsubscribed to most of my "spiritual" list in egroups!

one thing that i learned from my several AUTISM lists that i once subed to, is that these lists are social groups of people and they have that clique and once it is formed, no outsiders are permitted unless the sign up profoundly into that groups groupthinks!
social groups---that means that most of the posts are of social chit-chat only!

i see that IS the neccessary condition, i do not bemoan this, but
I am the perpetual outsider and can not sign up to groupthinks...

ever have a deep social conversation with a friend and right in the middle of it someone else comes along and wants to talk about cats or
sewing; changing the subject utterly and you just want the person to Go Away?!
that is why i unsubscribed...even the near-death...OBE lists have their way of Offical Heaven As-it-is, truth...and dare no one come in with another differing opinion!

probably i will spend my six months to 18 months, of life, being very worldly with no prep for heaven what so ever and Just be Surprised, only thing to do is to renounce all groupthink preset expectations as to what heaven will be like when i get there.
i will probably just ask to have a cabin right down next to the Entrance, at level #one, the utter beginner's level: gotta learn your ABCs before Addition and subtraction..before algebra...before calculus!
I will ask spirit for the Kindergarden cabin, in heaven, next to the
path up from earth!!

[ precognititive dream of dec 2000 told me JUST THAT....
that i will have a cabin next to the entrance, where the soul has gone on upwards in progression and that someday i will leave that cabin and give it to a newcomer...
just now got a letter from a list moderator.
she gives to me a stern warning! do NOT send invites out to people on this list of hers....where i sent out an invite letter for to have people come to read my weblog! i ended up, after apology to her, unsubscribing to her list as i being aspergers autistic WILL repeat and repeat anything that i enjoy doing!!
tis a CAN i remember something that offended someone last month last year?
tell me, readers, what did you have for lunch on april 23rd of 1997?
or for supper on june 27th of 1985? i can only remember what i did ten seconds ago through associations and yes that is how i think: through associational memory only, otherwise i think in picture images.

maybe that is one of the reasons why i have no career: the future can not be imagined either!
oh i have visions of my future: that is another story...

probably, i suspect, i will offend everyone soon: blog of ONE...the more i promote, the more i will be disliked!
there was this lady a bit back, who Taught me Something.

I asked her how her depression was coming along. she jumped on me, saying....."i am NOT depressed!
[she really did act happy!!]
This got me to pondering: why was it that I could feel a black cloud of depression all around her even if she was smiling!
---from this event, i came to this Learning: that I could look at some people and see their whole lives:
like this-----

take a Xmas tree and tip it on its side and stare down the trunk like you were sighting down a rifle. you would see the round trunk-base and you would see all of the side branches in 2-D! In two dimensionalness, you would see the furtherest away branches as being right up close right next to the close branches. a hundred branches sprouting from a circle.
like: as if you looked down a narrow street that is blocks long and lined with shops and buildings and you would see all of the doors on both sides of the street: imagine that in 2-D where ALL of the doors are ten feet away...the two blocks-away door being next to the fifty foot away door.

so any person has their whole life like that! anything not worked out within them is right there in their being, right there in your face! if this lady were depressed for years, why being sorta happy for the last two hours sorta does not count as 99% of the rest of her timeline is nothin but depression!! this poor lady's depression had become a Mighty Muscle, grown big through constant excercise of use, and it will only get ever ever the bigger by her continuing in it!

My Spirit teachings tell me that THIS is what is revealed in heaven after one gets there: one's life IS in their whole being, every second of their life becomes "2-D", their very face is made up of their life, and everyone around them can see and feel that whole life: the inside becomes the outside---no More Lies, to others, to self!
thus, my teachings tell me, that after death; that the heavenly world one WANTS to go to, is the one that fits that beingness. "like attract like". thus if one wants to live in a "good" heaven, after death, one should live now on earth as if one were in that heaven, now!
THAT is "7,934 books on morality and ethics"! tis simple: live on earth as if you were in that wonderfull heaven of your imaginings...and when the body-garment comes off at death, the naked Cultivated Soul, will become the outer garment and draw you to that wonderfull heaven, as like attract the like!

Thursday, June 28, 2001

just went to check my archive list of where my written up accounts of some 20 visions of the afterlife are stored. the subscription number has DECREASED since i begun the eblog!!! same with the parelell log, there!

ho hum.....

as i say, my "topic" is the very very last Forbidden Topic, the very last "cuss word" to be accepted!
peole have been killed for this, from mr Crucified, J C, on down....

I am NOT the world's most popular guy........
my hometown diner, in Interlaken...1998 or so............

oh these Yankees, especially the men who are whom i call "clunk-a-bunk" men!
they talk Literally and Factual, usually in a very loud voice that fills the room. Materially. length breadth height, only!
exhausts me to listen to them!
here is how one of these men ate a slice of lemon pie.
---the fork descends into pie and a huge hunk is took off and ate.
---again, the fork comes down.
the third bite, is now taken.
PIE IS GONE!! three forkfulls, three bites.
direct. simple. quick. ten seconds!
always takes the shortest route by Interstate drive straight through and when he tells someone of his trip he tells it in "minutes and route numbers".

I can and do spend up to 30 minutes on the same piece of pie, I balance the crust against the white goo and eat the lemon filling separatly. i always meander on any road OTHER than the interstate.

yes, pie gone in about ten seconds, this man, in interlaken Norm's diner 1998.

no Imagination. the inside is the outside and no extra stuff on the inside! His eyes are a video camera and he talks best when he plays it back *exactly* as recorded!
happy birthday to me!
happy birthday to me!!

60 years old, today, June 28th.

My neighborly friend has his 85 year old father living with him. Alcheimers[sp] but in fair health.
neighbor in my home town, in 1998, was also 85 and he shoveled snow and mowed lawn.

alas, my Dreams tell me Otherwise: a year or maybe 18 months!!

so everyday that i awake and walk out to the quiet street to catch the 7 am bus, the day begins with an opportunity to grow in Spirit, Wisdom and Understanding...the many many shades of love and wisdom
that are the people around me and in the world about me.

so happy 60th, Freestone.

Wednesday, June 27, 2001

I was reminded yesterday, as i rode the bus home, about that powerfully intense bus driver lady who told me, in smoldering anger, "Taint Nothin to do in Tallahasse but drink and go to the malls"!

I wondered about that, probably there was a hidden meaning behind that anger, she really may be saying that "I can not find a man in this town"!!

she left the job in several months, never to be seen again.

Oh, but i took her words also on face value as I hear that a LOT about Tallahassee....nothin to do here.

Here is a college town and state capital...three universites of Renoun...two public libraries...umpteen art galleries...etc...etc...

I spent about four years, in the early 1990s, living on main street in my Home Town of Interlaken new York. all of 600 souls. I lived at the very end of the business area of main street and the post office was 500 away, at the other end of the business section and that post office is 400 feet from a cornfield!

two rules did i learn there!
-----one: lock my door even if i were just to do that ten minute walk to the post office.
?!! why indeed, was not the town safe?! oh it is safe all right, but one really SHOULD lock one's door if four hours go by!!
yes, on the way to a ten minute post office i might run into five people that i know and be away all day long!
---two.....what ever you DO or even feel and think will affect everyone's lives in that town sooner or later!
Beyond "rumor mill"!!
oh the rumor mill IS the biggest industry in town...but this is more, much more, than that!
what i mean is, that anything that is done, even the color shirt you wear or the tone of voice to the shop keeper, will radiate like ripples-out from a dropped stone into the still waters of a pond, anything that is said or done or thought of, will Go Out!
why if i bend over and pick up a nail off of the sidewalk, on my way along the street, why i could make an old ladies day, as she looks out of the window and sees me doing that good deed!

---and someone here in tallahassee asked me what seemed to be SO obvious to him: "WERENT YOU BORED TO TEARS, there in Interlaken"?!
--and i said...."books on the counter half read for months, letters in piles unaswered: no time to touch them! the cafe, the walks, the internet computer, the library, the Church, the church volenteer food program, my walks to relatives and the talks with relatives, the talks, with friends and neighbors and townsfolk, the part time jobs of lawncare, the trips to Ithaca, the music meditations, the walks around town, the berrypicking, the .......
that Amtrak trip through the pineywoods of georgia where my seatmate looked out the window at the pine tress zipping by and he muttered about "how BORING all those trees were"! i replied how that i could talk for hours and hours and hours and you say not a word...about them pine trees. the trees, the bugs on them, the people who work with them, the soil, the weather, the climate, the pulpwood industry and the Tapping industry of resin, the roads in the woods, the animals and birds....

i guess it takes a boring person to be bored!

Tuesday, June 26, 2001

in two days it will be my 60th birthday!!

a week ago i had that clock dream, with the time listed at "1:20"...the clock up in the sky.
THAT image, along with the rest of the dream sets now the meaning of my first dream with the number "120" in it......

no way even in a journal that I could convey, to even myself let alone others, the Signifigence and importance of those two dreams!

tis my arrival date into heaven , set up long ago.
"02" in "2002"
I may have a year, probably over six months maybe even 16 months before my "move"!!

THIS will certainly add a new SLANT and TWIST to my journal!
not only Visions but the Approach!

the chicken not only sees the Hawk circling overhead: the Hawk now sees the chicken!

---I feel a lot like the Classic Scene in the movies where the Wise Old Doctor is in his office with his Patient sitting across from him: he holds up an X-ray photo towards the light, there is a small white mass of tumor-tissue in the brain and in his liver, the patient's!
the doctor says..."I am SOO sorry Jim: malignant meylemenioa of the blastic cells: six months to a year, have your affairs in order"!!
I walk the campus of FSU a lot. been here on and off since 1960! tis a beautifully landscaped campus,
but i feel for the plants! seems the ever growing campus makes a plant a "removible decorative object"!
plant a six foot tree and a month later they dig it up to put a steampipe in. then plant a bush and three months later a new sidewalk displaces that bush! then a bench is put besides the walk, complete with a small shade-tree. that last a year till the "red dots" go up on everything around it, tree and bench included! the New Lab will go there!
even twenty foot trees get moved and shuffled all about!

Monday, June 25, 2001

yes good morning to anyone who reads this.....
there was a lady on the bus the other day that I noticed.
[oh the stories i see on the bus, snapshots of people and their lives!]

She was a black lady about in her middle 20s, there was about ten sacks of groceries on the seatbench and another three or four on the floor. the bus lurches forwards, at some stop and the floor bags tipped over and all of the stuff came out and rolled about her feet. She bent over and picked up the stuff and put it back into the bag, alone...i was too too far away and she moved before i could.
but as she sat there on the bench, i could see her wipe her eyes, she was crying!!
then i got to my stop and got off.

----so i wonder why and how: this is why COMPUTER GAMES[especially rpgs, role playing games] i find so Teaching to me, they train my weak [jungian] sense-sense to become more observant of the envirnment. in the rpgs, too, each person and character has a Story, a life-story...part of the Game is to figure this out...

so i wondered the why and how of this lady!
why did she cry?!
--was it for lonelyness?
--was it for her hard life, the bags tipping was a "last straw"?! her life is soo hard, surely.....
--was her "guy now in jail, AGAIN, leaving her to fend alone?
I imagined what her life would be like.
probably a single mother. no father present for any of the kids and there WAS one boy of hers beside her, surely there were more at home or in day care! probably several fathers, then.
on welfare. trying to work to get off but hey when you have five kids, you gotta run so so so many errands and doctors for kids and stuff, that work is impossible!
A Young Soul Learning, i guess. probably a fifth grade education if that. Nothing that i could talk about
would have meaning to her: i am "intellectual" and she is not. she would not know or care what the currant earthquke conditions are in South America, or even how to keep from becoming HIV infected!
Probably 'being loved" is ALL, for her! being cared for, having attention given to her by a man.
she is probably on the Path of Love...the path that for many "80+ romance novels read per a year"! when she dies, she may join the Temple Training School of "Angelic love"---to join the group of souls who Love unconditionally all other spirits and souls and earthly lives here on earth too!

thus, now, in this city, she would "go" for the first man who Cared for her, even if he got out of jail last week and then leaves her in four months; another baby on the way!
"to love and be loved", for her, is *much* more important than learning "discernment" or "self-disipline"!!

Sunday, June 24, 2001

tis a nice sunday

been half an hour already at the computer even before i log onto blogger. seems that my cd rom had a small problem and i needed some tech advice. then i needed to check the warreentee on it. then i needed to use the phone to call the city police to report a downed tree limb that i saw on the way here to the library computer.
---a lesson from this: I read somewhere, from a channeled source, that "90% of all our daily activities is
in maintaining the body and the possessions around it"!
yes i can see that!
ever put away ten bags of groceries?! put and place and cut up and divey into bags and jars and boxes...
[no wonder many alone singles eat out!!]

seems i recall the "puguetian" theory of childhood: that any child should go through all of the seven stages of childgrowth or else the adult character could be stunted for lack of that level being grown.
same kid should skip a grade in school, just like a CEO top excecutive, in a large company, ideally should have worked up from the bottom of the company, like of stock clerk or paperboy, and rise up through all the company levels before becoming president.

another Spirit guide said that "living in the material world is in learning STEWARDSHIP of matter, how to manipulate matter in all of its forms and shapes" gotta do 'grade one" before entering heaven where "matter manipulation" is in manipulating mental images that ALSO are outside! [one's mental image can be put onto the table for all to see!!]

so...gotta get the matter manipulation down pat first!

THIS is why i am really in favor of the material world and i see why it is of the utter importance to love and embrace this "stewardship of matter", here, while alive, as being alive, here, is "prep" for heaven!

Thursday, June 21, 2001

interesting dream snippit last night. i was at a place that i never ever have been to. some place with Elm trees and a tall treeless mountain with radio antanna on top. something from, i think, someone else's dream. i must make up the thread of my dream from other people's images, often; like a caddis fly larva
makes its home, under water, from the sand grains that it finds around it.
---further comments upon that wheelchair lady on the bus, that i wrote of just below this post[ better go down and read it first!].
yes, I feel slightly remorsefull that i seemed to put her down a bit, in that post. here she was, last year SO hopefull, hopefull that she would get her life, after her accident and that she began to feel so much better after losing 80 pounds; she could walk better without the cane so much!
was i cynical, when i saw that, not really!
I felt the emotional unfelt-need, in her. probably why that diet failed so....She spent four-bus-miles a day telling her seatmate-friend about how her "ex" was now making her life so miserable, even after four years and her child BEING the ammo for the fight!! for months everyday she talked only this....
funny, these woman libers do not recognize what i sense is hardwired into the very brain of ladies: they are made to have a relationship like water is made to have to have a cup to hold it before any use can be made of it to drink! little emotionbal maturity, perhaps: this bus lady. comes with being, maybe a "young soul". she may feel that only an external man could fill something inside of her, something within that she did not get as a child: part of life is Understanding that the Inner Self and its Spirit connection with the where it is at.
[us men have the "sin" of feeling that we are nothing without a job..."I AM a Banker, I AM a Professor of History...etc..etc.. look at the retired men who sit around the chairs like string-marrienets with the strings cut!]

but i have to remind myself over and over, with the light of my Knowledge that i have Been Given, via Spirit: that in the light of REINCARNATION all of us were *JUST* like her, once...a young soul, all emotionally adrift, especially if a woman! Men too, of course...all of us were "Valad the Pillager", of some midevil village, or the village idot, somewhere...sometime.
---and every one of us young souls will have the opportunity to become BUDDHAS someday, or masters of Art and Music and Wisdom....some our souls grow older.

just like Rembrandt and Ghandi were once [like] this bus lady....people [like] her will become like Einstein or Elenor Rooseveldt, or Tearesa(saint), some distant Incarnational day.
Interesting how keeping this weblog, even just so far, has made me look at my day's travels though tallahassee, as if i were taking photo Snapshots! stories of encounters are like that. a story, like of a short story, a meeting or watching a particular person on the bus: i could write for hours on just one thing!
-----reminds me of that poor lady who i saw a year ago, who was going on a severe diet and was getting off of her crutches and trying to get A Positive Attitude.
well i saw her from 100 feet away, out of the bus window. she was in a whellchair and getting on the bus and she weighed just the same, it appears, as she did before her diet begun!

I wish i could give to her a positive spin, like maybe she had a definitive knee operation where once healed she will be very ok.
and the diet...maybe four generations are all fat fat! "genetics are destiny" they say and would you rather be thin but live to 40 or fat
and live to 80?! I fear that most people would opt for the thin, and at any cost!
Interesting experience at the Bookstore cafe yesterday!

there was a very interesting lady, her clothes spoke of Intelligence and Artistry. Her speech and vibes spoke of a Intelligent person. I heard her speak about her dog and how it always Takes Command
when this dog comes into a group of other dogs[meaning: HERSELF, as dogs reflect their owners!]

I began a conversation with her.....yes she was One of the Leading Edge, talanted, People: probably some professional.

I brought up the topic of life after death and heaven.
Big Mistake: i could actually FEEL the instant and utter turn off and shut down, like of a snapping of a twig into two pieces of wood! No more was there a bond of conversation-between-strangers, of two Intelligent people!!

i been through this before: mystics have been killed for less, over the ages.
the last "cuss word" more cusswory than "fuck"...more cusswordy than even that utter word..."fat"
"the afterlife"!!

there is a road a couple of miles from my hometown in upstate new york, in the ruaral beyond. it is actually called "the Stony Lonesome Road"! that is the road i walk, facing the Darkness in the Northeast----ALONE!
this is why i have a journal....
for what I know, makes me utterly alone, having 100 or so dreamvision experiences of the afterlife!

Wednesday, June 20, 2001

That letter from the chairlady of the class of 1960 got to me a bit. 40 year reunion of three years of classes, each class had about 30 kids.....around 1960.

a very very small town in upstate ny. but most of the kids were 1959 Talented and most go off to college and earn $40,000+ a year.

they wanted a BIO of my life: just WHAT could I tell them? What would they understand?
my 100+ Visions of the afterlife?
I tried to send them something....

funny, here in my web log. One might suppose that, as my 60th birthday is next week and i have been burned in the heaven-fire, that I have four american flags in my bedroom and listen to Conservative talk shows on the radio and thump my Bible regularly at everyone i meet, shaking my finger in the air..."repent, the end is near, become a PURITAN...NOW"!!

I listen to Modern Rock, on the radio...metallica and many well as rock and roll. my acid days on the commune gave to me Trips that would freak out most psychologists, if they heard my telling about them! I play rpg computer games and had a playstation once where final fantasy 6 7 and 8 were played.
Doom and Quake and rpgs on the computer. most of my friends younger than me treat the internet computer like they would a VIPER!!
If i had to continue this small "bio"...and they ask me about..."since you have had, mr Wilson, over 100 experiences of heaven and then they tell you in the last series of these experiences that you have only a year or two to live....dont you want to join a monestary and Purify?!"
"NO"...i would reply!

my life feelings are...the more tickets that you validate here, the more these tickets will admit one to the temples of Art and Poetry and healing and Wisdom, there, in heaven!
the more high school ELECTIVE courses you take now...the more ahead you will be when you go to College!!
---thus one should live to the max and be creative and DO IT! whatever it the dance of life and leave "dry creek" kansas and go off to san fran and Jump into life!

just wanted the "readers" of this weblog to sense that i am not a dried up old foggy, at 60, Being Told by spirit that i will Move Soon!!

Tuesday, June 19, 2001

when did it hit me that There Are Really Different Ways of Experiencing the World?!

somewhere in the 1970s
i went to an upstate ny spiritualist camp..."Freeville". i wanted to attend the evening service where a visiting medium would give a lecture and then give readings for some of the audience.

She greeted everyone and said "hello to the 80 people".
there were only about 30 or less in the pews!!
she then restated her greeting, extending it to all the people that she could see, the decased mothers and fathers and relatives that came down from Spirit to be with their relatives in that chapel that night.

then she jabbed with her elbow and said..."not yet....back off from me"
as she gave her lecture, she was bumped and pushed all about the stage and podium and she finally told everyone in the pews that this stage that she stood upon was crowded to the max with over a hundred people even if I could only see just her. the spirits were so so enthused about trying to speak through her that they near pushed her off of the stage!!

oh boy!
that was my very first real intense realization that there are people who live by REALLY REALLY different rules-of-life than for most people!
just HOW does this medium lady get through Wal-mart and the Mall?
does she remain reclusive?
she was the minister of her own spiritualist church, but golley, if there were always 100 people around and about you that only you could see and they could touch you...oh my! yes there are very very different people out there...
I see the handwriting on the wall------

I came across a site where i had just submitted my URL for the weblog and they put it up and they have a rating system where people can review and rate the blog.
one rater gave to it a "poor" rating!

i becha!
I bet that this here weblog will NOT be very popular or liked! sorta mildly depresses this sun-in-cancer me...but then again the theme IS of something that no one likes or that few can even accept!
no, will not be popular, my log...only a few will like it!
the "coffee man" came into the coffee shop this 7 am. i call him that because he comes in every morning like me. his clothes are very very very dirty and he sits on the park bench ALL day long, i swear he does do that all day long everyday. he wore a hole in his pants, never ever changing them, last month, till his underwear not only appears but ALL of his underwear shows.
he puts about 40 packets of sugar into his morning coffee and i unerustimate that amount.
----so i wonder what he thinks about all day long, this homeless guy. maybe he is Transforming.
maybe his parents gave to him ZERO upbringing, there is no role model for him. perhaps the Doctors/social workers would label him
"schizoprenic"! maybe he is wasting his life utterly.
least "they" would say that...the customers---the social workers---the "them" who judge this guy!

what Karma is he working on: maybe he arranged this five lives back, so To Do Something Important...
i cannot judge, from the vantagepoint of earthly views...only from Spirit can his life be seen aright!

ya know...IF i were some incarnational master, in charge of souls through a series of lives---up in spirit, between lives: and i had a soul that wanted to help the incoming-from-earth-into-heaven alcoholics adjust and grow into would i help this counselor-to-be, to live five earthly lives in succession, to help him learn how to become this spirit counselor of alcoholics?
why one thing is clear!
one of those lives this guy should become a alcoholic!
deep into the gutter alcoholic! takes one to know one: having been there, he would make the very best counselor of other alkies!

so if one were to see this guy, nodding in the gutter, all dirty and stinky..tis WOULD be easy to judge him badly!! he is Just in training, to become a heavenly counselor of incoming alkies!
field work.

Monday, June 18, 2001

Oh boy!
I was burned today!!
ole "psychic sensitive empath" got Hit Again-----------

went to one of those "dollar stores" in the mall a couple of hours ago. you know, the kind of store where everything is about a dollar and cheap cheap cheap, in many ways other than price. so innocent seeming, just to use a free 20 minutes to browse the "seconds' in towels and the el-cheapo plasticized crud. most of the shoppers looked angry and/or "bitchy" or maybe just "worn-by-life" looking.
second or third tier people looking at third tier goods!
when i left the store to go to Piccidily's cafeteria to eat, i seemed filled with a free floating RAGE!
rage! anger that seemed to fill my cosmos and unending and unforgiving, what a rat must feel as the Iron Boot Crushes its skull ever ever so slowly!

I saw what it was: this store! i soaked all up the vibes from that store, all of the poor people who shop there who are ever below the threshold of poverty and BELIEVE that one is measured by only being NOT in poverty and they are so so angry at having to take second or third or fourth or fifth "best" in life; taking the plastic bargains that will fall apart in a second: that set of four sponges that i got for 50 cents each may come out to absorb water like a rock does and the "scotch" tape may turn out to have ruined glue.
un-empowered people who see the tombstone not as a door but a dead end and thus these goods that they HAVE to buy is a Measurement of failure failure, and the Purchase Announces this to all who enter their house trailer!

a lesson learned; for the 964th time.....WILL it ever sink in: do NOT assume that any place is "innocent" of bad vibes. i have Psychic talant, acknowledge it!
---that resturant last year where to just sit in it IS to become depressed!
---the Bar where every chin of the cutomers has a big blister on it from rubbing the bar-counter as this town is SO economicly depressed and all the customers are depressed.
---the motel room that gave to me psychotic nightmares all night long, including one nightmare that told me the motel room caused these dreams!!
Yes, i can NOW forgive the teens for shopping at those "chic" mall stores where "things are happening" and the vibes are upbeat, if only commercially so...and Understand why upscale new age housewives hang out at the "whole Earth Natural Commercial" food store with those 150% higher prices
than "Dollercutter food supermarket", as all their upscale neighbors and friends go there and the feeling in the air is of "wholesome natural mother earth".
i coin a phrase:
all places have vibes. all goods bought are previbrated by where they were before.
be aware of your thoughts and feelings: often they are not your own and if so and unacknowledged: they will become your own!!!

and yes, any reader of this log, forgive yourself if you leave a store full of anger or depression, it is NOT your fault; be carefull where you go, the astral energy saturates every molecule of the store's goods and walls, of the collective of the shoppers!
at the church cafe today, the lunch place i often go to here in tallahassee....neat! neat a church has a open to public cafe!
italked with the Greeter today, the older lady who says hello to one and all, making very very good use of her genetic hyperactivity! tis what you DO with a talant, i see, more so than the talant itself, that Counts!

surely there is a vast good heaven-land for chronic depressed people! there is a higher octave sublimation of all traits, why just think for depression...the great Lamenting Angels who lament man's sufferings and Follies! those angels come from Somewheres! thus even depression can be changed into something outside of one's own narcissism into a Great lament for another's sufferings!
I wonder if anyone but me reads this? my own thoughts, mostly.....
anyone reads this blog of mine, please let me
I play computer games. rpgs, in particular, especially the old ones. i feel that these games are a training ground for what some of heaven will be like!

Saturday, June 16, 2001

rain rain rain....tallahassee Delivers...
yes my mother came to tell me those numbers that may mean my death soon.

but i did NOT mention, in that post, how she herself was "blessed" by have a vision dream, herself, ten years before, where her vision told her that "she would die in ten years as a red sports car would come into her lane at dusk"!! I only learned about this vision, at the funeral relative gathering...after that red sports car hit her car head on, in her lane, at 120mph, about 7;30 pm, on a late summer's eve!

no wonder she did not like driving at dusk, for the ten years before that!
the recipiant of Vision comes from heaven to give to me such a vision......
quite a lesson in Humility, sitting on the city bus each day! the people on the bus come from ALL
slants of life, many are homeless or disabled or lacking in mental intelligence.
---a lesson, as If there is anyone on that bus that "I do not like of feel comfortable sitting near",
i have to remember that these people WILL go to heaven like me and I may find them to be quite wonderfull there! they will live on, like me, and in the Christ, we all are Linked, all are Connected.
well, McVeigh is now dead, the newspapers Go On To Other news.
He is not dead, of course!
soon, but maybe a few days or a week or months from now, he will awake into the Reception area of a healing center of some sort, in heaven.

I wonder if i have to come, in my spirit-body, and "hold his hand", to help him adjust?!

Oh reader of this, surely you would think and feel that my chances of this is ZERO!
I Know Better!
probably at least 90% that i WILL!

---after all, i went, in spirit body and confronted KORESH while the Troops were all around the
Dravidian compound, i really really sat with him, there! and told him that "this has got to stop"!
[see my writeup of this dream in my freestonefiles--link on left]
THEN, weeks after the fire, i went in spirit to a building that was dedicated to healing the members of that Commune who died in the fire! several of them showed me around the complex and told me of their progress there in the first stage of heaven. No, i did not see or talk to Koresh there.

So i may indeed get to see Mcveigh...if not before i die, then AFTER!!

Friday, June 15, 2001

this is a write-up of a vision dream that i wrote up to send to my site, where my files of visions and articles are stored. tis THIS sorta thing, this visiondream, that i began this blog-log FOR!!

well, well well, hello everyone who reads this! I am dealing with a very very unusual "clairvoyance"!
a clairvoyant dream.......

I have a history of a certain type of clairvoyant dream, in my 40 years of adult life. Seems that a number of months before i am to move to somewhere that is very very signifigant, or of some major turning point, in my life, i will have a dream that will detail to me some of the scenes and experiences that i WILL see and live out!! a photo-snapshot of THIS house or THAT tree, the house or tree that i WILL see, in a number of months from the dreaming time!
One such dream gave to me pictures of scenes that were 15 years from the dreamtime, places that i never never ever thought that i would have chosen to move to, at the time of the clairvoyant dream.

EVERY major life change.....
I should have known....seeing i have had experienced many many out of body visions of going to heaven to see places there...[some of which i have written up on www.egroups/group/freestonefiles, in the file section!]

I only a couple of weeks ago, came across this detailed vision-dream that i had on the 4th of December of 2000: and i had completely completely forgot about it[I can see why!!].
for this vision is a precognitive clairvoyant, preview of some of the things that i WILL experience when i die and arrive in heaven!!
of course: a major life change!

this dream begins just AS i am entering this Land, awalking along a road, either alone or with a Guide, a welcoming Guide, i think, now. there were welcomings and meetings with friends and some others...
I was told that my sister had a house here, but she has since Gone onwards to a higher heaven and does not live here anymore. [she died in 1986, years ago, 15 years ago!]. someone else lives in her house now, i was told.
this guide then tells me that there is a cabin awaiting me near the entrance from earth, the beginning point there. Someone left this cabin to go onwards, recently, like of my sister. the guide told me this is the Custom give one's house to another heavenly newbie, as one passes onwards to a higher level heaven. that I, in turn, will leave this cabin to yet another new person when it is time for me to progress!
I say "cabin' as this land is the land of the Appalachian mountain people's heaven, where they Go, many of them, after they die. my sister lived there for a number of years in the early 1980s.
[see my visions site for accounts of other visit i had, to this mountain land!].
Near the entrance to this land and especially near my cabin-to-be, was a namesign. my name was on it.
"Freestone", as that is my real first name.
there was yet another small sign by it with two numbers plainly readable
120 420

? ? ?

now this dream WAS on the 4th of december of 2000.
4 day... 12th month ....20 [ 2000 ].
that is the 120 420.
i noted that if these numbers were 12 and 42, dropping the zeros, 42 is 3.5 times the size of 12.
[12x 3.5 = 42]
what did i do on another 4th of dec of a year??
35 years before 2000, in 1965, i was sent to live in JAPAN by the Air Force! there was a very profound clairvoyant dream associated with THAT move, a few months before I went. this 1965 vision made it very very clear to me that the symbol of Japan was heaven itself!! [crossing the Big Sea to the West!]
so on dec 4 of 1965 I got on board a plane and went there.
I finally figured out what the numbers mean. this is the YEAR that i am arriving in heaven in "heaven time"!
that is..."Japan time"...Tokyo Time, 9 hours plus from Greenwich. 4 hours from central new york where i was born, Savings time. [13 hours between new york and tokyo] since that heaven sign was in the "daylight", the earthly time is 00.20. 20 minutes after midnight.
that is....[20]02! that 420 munber is a reference number of my "who i would consider as my GURU, if i had a guru"!! Sathya Sai baba.
he SAYS, in a article, from a speech he gave on his birthday in nov 23 of 1974...."that he was going to live 47 more years and die a few months into 2022".
In japan time the 420 becomes, if time changed to the place of my birth...2:20 in the morning.
that is...."22" as in 2022! just like mine is
where mine is "02" as in 2002.
One's life is supposed to be referenced to His Guru...
while i am NOT a devotee of baba, he has appeared in many of my dreams...thus the reference: He will be With me, in heaven too!! this so, as the sign had his death number besides mine!
no wonder i stonewalled the dream, immediately after writing it down...

-----reminds me of a may of 1999 dream where my mother came down from heaven to give to me a very important seeming message...a string of numbers!!
[oh I, so terrible at math...have to confront digits!!]
3 39 99 ---there were three numbers only.
vision was in 1999...that is one.
as of september of 1999, i would have lived in tallahassee, for 39 years, on and off...where i did MOST of my adult creative life!
39 years in sept 1999.
thus....folks...three more years would put it to 2002.
yes, my Mother of 25 years deceased, comes from heaven To Give To me News, a Message.

there. I, while submitting that
---Spirit can change that date at any time.
---I could be interpreting it in error.
---could be "symbolic" only!
I had better get ready!!

live an incredible life!!
"weather" has been a mystery for me all of my life! rain, snow....whatever.
I majored in it in college in the i am 60 years old: but am sitting today in the same university library!!

biggest mystery for me about waether is.....
I have long suspected that the weather a place gets is not accidental!
i do NOT mean that man's Presence affects the climate, like of global warming!

what i mean is....
that there is a link between the weather of a place and the collective spiritual health of the people who live there. thus, a collective attitude witll cause the weather to reflect this!

someone said that at a JANE ROBERTS meeting [SETH SPEAKS] ---that the collective souls of the city
of Elmira caused that great 1972 flood, to try to do physiclly a symbolic try to CLEANSE the city of the "dirt" of the vibes of a long long standing economic depression!!
ah the enormity of it all....
my visions...
my Anouncmental series of dreams of only a year or two....

so just WHAT do ya do after a may 2nd 1999 dream when your deceased mother comes back from heaven to give to ya some numbers?! my mother stood before me, it was obvious to me that this was objective, she came down from heaven after being gone for near 25 tell me
"3...39....99: the numbers are in the bible"
this was given in 1999, i had, or would, be living here in tallahassee since 1960...39 years...
in dreams, the simple solution is sometimes the right one...3 + 39= 42


Thursday, June 14, 2001

add to webring button
will it work??
ah well....

I sit here, stunned in slow motion: take a while to digest this one!

I finally decoded the clock dream, a dream not big in and of itself, but how it linked ANOTHER dream...
encoded within, is the year of my death-to-come!
my final OBE, my final out of body visit to heaven and not to come back.

not this year.....

oh but the year after...2002!!

IF it is right.
If i interpet it aright.
IF spirit does not change the time...

gives an even MORE push to ruminate in the blog!!!
today's saying.....

if reincarnation be true-----then the earth that you leave to your greatgrandchildren----could just be to you!!
"sog" as in "ohm"-----THAT is what over ten inches of rain does to a place! tallahassee gets over 60 inches a year...the only place i have seen where mold grows on mushrooms!
tallahassee had 10 inches of rain the other day. some student drove into "just a bit of water" after sneaking around a barracade....oops! the car was found 3000 feet away, in the underground tunnel and the body was found over two miles away! oops! ya never never know when your Time has Come!

Wednesday, June 13, 2001

I went to the earthchanges list to see what resposes there were...
here is my reply


i went to "earthchanges" to read what replies they had to my "conspiricay" post.


---onwards to computer games!

no one is interested these days in my 20 visions of heaven either...

but again, this earth is FIELD WORK! the real stuff goes on after one goes back to college after the summer field work is done with so that then one can chew and digest the gathered material. life really begins after one dies!
as i Understand what is said via mediums...just one world said to a person here on earth can generated months of study as that one word can affect hundreds of people months and months later.

but that means thousands and thousands of years could be spent just unravaling 60 years of an earthlife?
THAT is what "eternity and infinity" the terms really really mean, those words will hit home then!

just think how many people a celebrity will have to interact with, after death?!

so onward.....
ah more posting there!

here is what i wrote to a lament about how utterly difficult it is for me to write or talk as i use a wholley different counsciousness than most people so that i am alsway out of sync!

---and i have 20 visions of heaven and no one is the least bit interested today! no one is interested in this age, for mysticism!! gotta be direct and to the point and very very short as there IS SO SO much to do!
--- Bxxx wrote:
> Hello folks,
> Freestone could you take another shot at explaining
> that, coming from a differnt angle or direction
> perhaps?
> That is confusing as heck. Your setting up the no
> spirit------

ah the AUTISTIC problem with writing!!
i do much much better at oral telling than in writing and my penmanship is utterly terrible and i type at hunt and peck at about 5wpm!

i tried. actually what you criticize that i should have said i DID say! but it came across so so vague as i needed to write out 15 more metaphors to do a good job of it and my typing speed and thinking does not do that.

this is NOT a storytelling age Bob! ya gotta git it out in five seconds or less; who has the time or the attention span; ithink that the very nature of counciousness has changed and today you are suppossed to do four things at once.

my father.
he was a Storyteller.
once, a few years before he died, he talked for four hours non-stop in the town diner, to a bunch of men, telling storuies of indians and geology and mines, he did ALL the talking and no one said a word for four hours not a single word. This person told me this, in that same diner, last year, recalling Dudley's life where he died tens years before and it was a kind of ulogy for him. this person said that after dudley finally had to leave and he walked out, one person there spoke out and he spoke for ALL the men there.

"it is TOO bad that he had to leave; i wanted to hear MORE"

today you would see people losing attention in ten seconds!

so that is all i can do...probably i will cease posting much to the internet as i find that my letters are ALWAYS so out of sync with the minds of everyone else's...


yes, i find that is so, my gift is in speaking NOT in writing. i butcher all of my sentences and i would do better not using the grammer and english at all. i think in pictures only and connect the images via metaphors and analogies; all of my thoughts are in analogies, i would not be able to think, otherwise!!

so probably i will just live out my few days that are left, reading newsgroups about rpg computer games and not post to political/religious news groups again! i CRINGE a bit to in a moment go to EARTHCHANGES to see what my responses will be there! they may even ignore me!

well...i will go see!


Tuesday, June 12, 2001

well well well.....
i posted this article to
---this is a list about "earthchanges"...politics and spirit both!
so i also put it here!

hello everyone.

Yes, i feel that i should put my $5.00 worth of ideas as to what the REAL Conspiracy is! this refers to the "government Conspiracy, the New World order, and all Conspiracies that you all have heard of!!

----for i feel that i Know what the Real One is......

But first i gotta build you a barn before i give to you the weather vane to put atop it!

a story.....
Once upon a time there was a man with a vegetable garden. one day he noticed that all the plants looked sick. the corn was wilted and the tomatoes looked yellow and there was mold on the beans! He Consulted Experts and he sprayed for mold and gave treatment for the yellow tomato leaves. the tomato leaves turned a bit green but now there were aphids on them! more spray... aphids are gone but now there is a brown wilt!!
one day Some garden master Told Him What To Do!
seems there was a ZINC DEFICIENTCY in the soil that weakened the plants so that they "caught' every single disease and condition that is naturally in the garden's surroundings!! THAT was the real could treat the plants for specific conditions all month long; but the real problem would still be untouched!

here is the real conspiracy!!

The physical, material, world-----is all there is to life and existence!
that is it folks! that is the "lack of zinc in the soil" that drives ALL the other conspiracies , cabals,
good ole boy networks, and New Orders! any solution to any of the smaller "problems" is like picking leaves one by one, one leaf per week, off of a ten acre patch of KUDZU VINE!! the Root is still untouched.

so what derives from this philosophy?
three "unholy" triumphriate-acal things....
ONE---there is no other dimensions beyond the physical world. Death IS the End!
TWO---there is no "spirit" or God present IN that other level[s] of existence....thus there is no one "home", there, that one can pray to! there are no laws or "spiritual rules" there either! this makes one's MIND the highest of them all, here on earth. thus there is no such thing as a "spiritual karma" OR "SPIRITUAL LAWS" that will punish you for any actions while still living on earth! your Diseases, you house flooding, your marriage breakup...are all "accidental" and not Caused by "spirit"!
THREE---there is thus NO intercourse between this "spirit" and the physical world, thus there is nothing that influences lives, here on earth, from any "spiritual dimension"!! No help is to be given, no punishment for acts, no feeling of being a part of Something greater than yourself.

And the Result of this?
If one holds to this philosophy, several results occur!
----the "toys that you own", the status and power
of your social position....COUNT FOR ALL!!
Thus only WEAK people are at the bottom and they NEED the Direction of the Elite that stand above them!
--there is no afterlife, so that any "immortality" must come from your Name in History. Power. rule. conquer.
---there is no "Spirit" that links everyone into a Spirit "oneness". [I am the Vine and Ye are the Branches Thereof"]. thus all weaker people below you are to be USED and manipulated by you...why not?!
---there is, of course, no "accountability" for your actions, either in this world, if you pay everyone off; or in some "next world, after death: being "punished" for these actions that you did while on earth.... or even being punished in THIS worldly life, due to the Actions of "spirit", or spiritual laws of Karma, upon those so-called "sins" that you do while still living!!

In short----the ego self is the highest of them all and you can get away with ANYTHING if you are powerful enough! bonding with other powerful people, in a mutual power reinforcement, "I stroke your back: you stroke mine"...forms ALL these power-groups, whether in government or in business or in social circles!

the Root exposed!
probably 60% to 80% of the people that you know, are
belonging to this Stand!
---and they Do Like Like to be told otherwise, for OBVIOUS reasons! Most spiritual reformers get killed, laughed at, or ignored----scorned, at least: from Jesus
on down........

there. That is the One true Conspiracy, folks!
If there is an "enemy"...this is the ONE! all other so called "conspiracies" are just leaves on the Kudzu vine: pull off one and another will immediately grow in its place. why not? if what you own counts for all and the power you wield over others Counts----what is the problem?? you SHOULD go Out Now and get Going to be sure that the gravy bowel is next to YOUR dinner table seat!! Sign up Today, in the Great Cabal!!
---and your "pulling down" of all the other "cabals" is only to make Room for YOUR life-tree to grow tall, in the new-made clearing, in the Forest!
as i see it: the ONLY True solution is to accept Spirit into your heart and life, and Live being Spirit-centered, and Know that there is life eternal, after death.....


Monday, June 11, 2001

greetings to the classess of 1959---1960---1961!

here I sit, in tallahassee, fla, on a rainy morning, the air so so humid you would not belive!

a "bio" you say, Penny?! i am not so good on those open ended questions, the Autistic state of mind does not do that so well....

I myself, consider having lived an Incredible Life, in my own way, even though i never ever had a "real" career, a family, a wife, or kids or a house of my own. I had a cottage on cayuaga lake, SO lovely, and it taught to me the lesson of how July apples are SO wonderfull but soon the rot sets in and it is time to go on to the August apples: i learned from that how even good things go bad eventually as they MUST: the WISDOM of Knowing When To move On! the cottage, my "summer Shack" right on the pebbly beach!
many a wonderfull 1970s summer there: but soon the ten kids moved next door and the SECOND power plant opened across the lake and the Mussals make swimming a bitch and there are more cars on the road and Do Not Ask about the ultra power boatsfrothing up the lake; the day of Quiet fishing is over with!
i was AT the cottage one fine sunday whebn the neighbor came over to tell me that my mother Dorethy, was killed in a car accident! 1975. there were 95 cats in the Kennel and Suanna and I set our lives aside for a year and me for two or more years to Tend...the Granparents estate was not confronted by mom so that there was that three ring circus there, the AUCTION.

in 1986, i was living with suanna when she lived in southern Illinois and one morning she got up to get ready for work and went to the bathroom and she did not come out and then the ambulance had to take the door down, she fell against it and the funeral was next week. there were 150 boxes in her house and over 420 more boxes in the warehouse in Tennessee! i pent months and months just opening boxes!
some were from the mothers estate sale there were letters with last names i did not know and there were letters in quill pen and a receit from the Union army and my toilet training stool from 1945 and a ball from when i was 5! made a square on the warehouse floor 150 feet to a side, for the auctioneeer to look
at...but the gov tax people got most of it!
i had FOUR yard sales! there were two sales alone for clothes! 1200 AT LEAST pieces of clothes! PER sale! so once a morning i would roll the rooladoor open a salute the Smoky mountains and enter that warehouse, all summer and fall. finally it was done with....then Dad was on his death bed so back to Ruth Myers, his sister for ANOTHER year of being with dad and seeing him off. REAL employer was Mr Death! that was my career, i guess, in reality, everything else was just waiting at the trailhound station between bussess! only I am left now except for betty and Ruth!
there is avery interesting aricle i wrote about DAD that i will append to a few more, all from my
site that has my writings on it. my days of Interlaken may be over with as the last time i was there i got pnemonia again from the air polution...amzing how badly the air is poluted there, in rural ny in the summertime, everytime i would awalk down to norn's 1998 diner at 6 am the only thing that i could smell in the air was OZONE and Chemicals! burn my throat so...every morning all all all summer long. i do NOT do church; it is a toxic substance...the colognes, the God-awafull perfumes so strong to knock a dog down at 50 yards, the hair spray the makeup the detergents so so so strong that the box says..."spill in eye, go diect to emergancy room"!...i can never never buy used clothes at thrift shop as the chemicals bond directly to fabric molecularly forever! smell of soap so strong that if smell were sound the windows would shatter like of a bomb! that is MOST clothes.
notice that i write a whole paragraph on this...this IS the autistic way...i could write 500 pages on just this topic and do a Dudley and talk for hours on it...

so that will be it...i can not attend the events, why the fare alone would be $400 to $600 just to walk in ruth's door and on a veteran's disibility pension....why, "no", i can not come. everything is set up in our age AS IF one makes $50,000 a year, see...why that reuinion event is such that i would REALLY need to spend $100 on it alone, to do it right. $20 just for the meal. i am poor.
so, without regret or remorse. i liken myself to "kenneth scmidt" Dorethy Smcmidt's brother, who was the class shizoprnaclown, and had to leave the army, i ithink he lives in a Home, now, in geneva area!
and my brain wiring sure makes for an interesting life: AND i WILL have that reunion with you all, up there in heaven as i know heaven exists....

so here i am today, 6 2 and 130 lbs...a little gawky and slow slow...i feel out of it, but father was a rare bird, Dudley wilson, and i got the genes from him. see, folks, dudley was a BLACKSMITH and a story teller, he could and DID talk for four hours non stop and you did not say one word; he did ALL the talking and when he had to leave, everyone wanted MORE MORE of his talk!!
today, ya gotta spit it out in ten seconds or less: git to the point, the attention span is not there and it should NOT be as there is so so much to attend to!
a whole new way of counsciuosness....And i am of the *very* old school!
to bed by 8pm and up at six and eat my supper at 3! any ONE of what i wrote here i could myself talk for hours on, as i think in pictures only and thus why i bombed so much from my college of FSU, florida state, in the 60s, here in tallahassee....

I have had many many visions of the afterlife worlds and talked to all of my relatives there and many two way conversations too! THAT is one of the high points of my 40-odd years of adult life! manysuch trips to heaven only a few of what i have written up yet.
----oh i was sent to japan, in the air force, i worked there two years....
---i nearly died myself from pnomonia in 1993.....20 days in the hospital and weighed 118.
only pnumonia, not TB or HIV!

that is my bio for my class, i will copy it and send it by snail mail and e-mail!
or my jounal log at
or my mail address at

freestone wilson
that is the Word for today! the spanish moss and the mold is happy, the air is of the tropics with that 75 degree dew point.

i gotta answer some mail. the lady from the class of 1959 wants all the members of the 1959---1960---1961 classess to make up a small bio and send it in. there were only 25 to 35 kids per grad class in 1960!! very very small town, see!
i am 60 years old and so i will do it here, my bio, so that i can priint it out and mail it.

Saturday, June 09, 2001

i see that One of the secrets of life, as learned from my

you should live here on earth as IF you were already IN heaven, then you will already BE in heaven when ya get there!
oh that clock dream. too too involved even to rant here, but it means my earthly death! either this year or in 11 to 12 years. that is the meaning of the "time". has to do with a Day In School, and the end of that day.
dubiously Interesting Information, to be told...some spirit's perception of my earthly death date!!!
---he could be quite wrong of course!
--i could interpet the time awrong....
but this seems to be a messege from my Higher Self.....the trick is, to interpet it?

Friday, June 08, 2001

ah yes, there IS a small delay...

strange dream last night, something about high school and clocks, too too involved to come to a conclusion over right now...

Thursday, June 07, 2001

made some small changes, the intro should soon reflect the egroups URL link so that i will not have to keep posting it in the log itself...

yes, tis the way of life, here i have set up a free form spirit filled log but first there has to be the foundation for it first. gotta have shoes before you walk, gotta have that cup before ya pour water into it!

as it is said by in heck can ya ever become enlightened unless there is a YOU there to become enlightened with, first! how can you get your soul saved unless you first have a soul?!!
how can you become saved unless there is a YOU?
means self.
otherwise it is your family, your friends, your culture, that is you! you do not even own your own thoughts, if there is not that ego first. that is the grail cup, then, that ego.....

Wednesday, June 06, 2001

june 6
hi everyone.
just got here.

many visions of heaven i had. ufo abductions too! taken to see alien worlds after that!
other stuff too!
I have an archieve of my writings of these visions and articles already made up into article form
at egroups.

go to the "files" link and go there to see the folders and choose any or all of them to read...
i have other sites...the intro will give to you the urls....

I have an e-mail address set up JUST for anyone to reply to in case they have a comment about this log or of any of my visions and articles.