Monday, December 03, 2001

somone I knew, back in my home town when i lived there in 1993-98, wants me to visit him. He is blind: he got a large settlememt after someone hit him with their car, recently.
Lonely for Christmas. he even offers to pay my airfare! all the way from tallahassee, and he has not even really considered the 90 mile trip from the airport!
back in the 1980s, late in the 80s, he was an up and coming Big CEO in a large company, he drove home one night and hit something and was made to be blind. His wife IMMEDIATELY left him, the company dropped him. she married another man who immediately abused all his kids that went with her!
---no woman wants to be near his Old testamental conservative Chrisatian he now is a Christian.

he went back, in the summer of 1998, to the annual picnic of this company, just to find out...some woman told him that at about the time he left, the company went down and all of the CEOs there, who did not leave, became "dead"! no soul. [do YOU ever hear of national cash register, these days?!]

I eventually told this blind friend that "he lost his eyes but gained a Saved Soul", by his leaving, after the accident and as he became converted to Christian ways!

I feel it now: as if I am SUPPOSED TO, by doing some great Spiritual sacrefice, to go up to that cold cold place on a xmas AIRPLANE! the very last time to fly even before 9-11!! crush myself into this airplane-box with all the perfumes[ have ya noticed the last six months how popular perfume has become: even the men!].....all the perfumes that irratate my lungs.

here i am, like my sister before me who had her wheelchair lady who worked in her office to have more ACCESS than she did as my sister was allergic to cigarette smoke! i, with my 60%
vet disability, in the lungs, i do not like perfume and i have to move from my cafertia chair about three times a week, to another table!

so i am "suppossed" to sacrefice! suppossed to stress my lungs to the max, to keep a lonely person
comfortable, in the xmas great Judgement of single people!

I will think of my own needs first, now. what good is healer if he/she does not get healed herself?
what good would such a trip do me, if it ruins my health?!