Friday, November 30, 2001

------------------ AIDS -----------------


Link and Think is "an observance of World
AIDS Day in the personal web publishing
communities. Formerly 'A Day With(out)
Weblogs', the project involves hundreds of
webloggers, journalers, diarists and other
personal website publishers, each linking to
resources about HIV/AIDS or publishing
personal stories about how the AIDS
pandemic has affected them. that is the link!


I had back in 1993, an interestring experience. I was in the hospital for EMPYMA...20 days. they sucked out 9 pounds of crud from my lungs, i weighed 118 lbs when i left. they gave me a private room!
i learned later this room was the "isolation room"!! they did not know what i had...turned out to be "just" pnemonia", not TB or HIV! [pnemonia still is one of the great killers of people over 50!].
there was a twin isolation room, next door. As i lay on my bed, in my sick-daze, i could hear yelling and cursing and screaming from that room next door! A few days later, i began to come around a bit and i asked the nuses about this raging patient next door. they all seemed to be in a state of denial over him!
they did not want to talk about it! they hinted that he had AIDS.
[this hospital was in Ithaca new york, the home of Cornell university....mainline new york city!]
Later, upon more questions, i learned that it was not so much AIDS that they were hushed up over, it was that this guy was raging and being so so obnoxious over that fact that he was young and that he was going to die *very* soon! He did not want to die!
I lay there....i tried to imagine what was going on in his head..I imagined that he thought that death comes to old people and that he was only 25! He sounded like a New york city man, a man who was somewhat cynical and very intelligent and had a "leftist" political slant. there is no Christmas or jesus for him: ya git a snort of derision if ya mention the Bible to him, a year ago!
"going down hard"
that is the expression that was once used at the death chamber as the warden's executioners strapped a death row inmate to the electric chair and he fought every inch of the way!
Going Down Hard.
not sick enough to be "out of it", he was...aware that his life was measured in DAYS, or weeks: no exit but death!

A few days later....there was silence. by then i was able to take walks and one day i peered into his open door, only to see that the hospital people were cleaning out his room:
Mr DEATH had come During Visiting hours, to a-see him!

------On my freestonefiles site
there is an article in the "world trade center" folder, by Dr Atwood. he witnessed, in a out of body dream, many of the souls from the trade center, rise up to heaven, after they died: i quote this small extract...
>>>Thursday morning the soul wave was fully formed, each soul totally conscious and possessed of knowing. The sound
they made, their tonal vibration, was one of the most beautiful sounds I have ever heard. Music, the music of a great
love, the love of those willing to die for the benefit of others, overwhelmed me. Before I could think, the wave and I
merged. What I saw, felt, knew, and witnessed in that wave transcended my childhood memories.

This is what the wave revealed. Each person who died, regardless of who, victim or perpetrator, had agreed before
birth to be part of this event to be there at that location at that time as that person. They had not "contracted" as souls
to die, necessarily, but to be present and accounted for, to be part of the energy that would ensure this event occurred.
It was only as the moment neared that final decisions were made. A wake-up call was needed, one horrendous enough
to reverberate across our country and the globe, affecting every man, woman, and child and in every nation.>>>>

I have read,. over and over, through the years: spirit Guides comments through Mediums, about how many many souls contract their date date long before they incarnate on earth! And by no means do they always set up, or have set up for them by masters...a long-life death date!! many only wish to be on earth for ten years...20 years....or even only for six months! Thus, for many reasons, souls have it set up where they
die at a young age.

About 15 years ago, i read a *very* impressive Guide's account of this: i cannot hope to repeat his statements exactly.....but here is what i think he said....[this was written in about 1954]
"You would be amazed at the Spirit planning that goes on behind the scenes of an airplane crash where, say, 200 people die! First off, Spirit sets up the airplane to actually crash. only THEN is the passengar manifest set up, from the spirit side! The Angels and guides then go about to find souls on earth who NEED to die! Souls who have Contracted with spirit before birth, or even at a later date, while they are on earth, uncounsciously, to die; they need an "actualizing mechanism" for this, to make them die!
so the passenger list is set up. some of the passengers may only be 15 years old...some may be 25...but they all have in common, a Pre-made with spirit, Obligation to die, by their own free will choice BEFORE they were born. [now of course, they might see this as a "fated act", but the free will choice was made in spirit before birth!]
Takes time for the manifest to be set for 200 people. by then, as the list is finished, these souls are then inspired to take a plane trip! There on THAT plane at THAT flight! of course, a few of these passengers may have, by some change of Spirit-plans or of a change of extension may be made for their lives....this is WHY some of the passengers may have a Warning dream not to take this flight...or maybe to have a flat tire on the way to the airport so that they miss the flight!
The flight takes off: 200 people keep their appointments with Spirit.
[this Guide continues...]
there is a problem, though, with the post war II modern times! [channeled in about 1949...1952]
modern science cures so many diseases and makes air travel so safe...that souls who need to die at a young age have problems meeting their Obligations!!
Thus Spirit must constantly create NEW DISEASES so that souls who need to die at a young age, can keep their Soul-Promises!!

for me, this is the Truth about AIDS! Aids is really a kind of "conspiricy" all right: but set up by God and the Archangel spirit planners, so that souls who need to die young, can do so!
a created epedemic, counsciously made.....

Now i can see my next door Aids patient in that light! probably, as he was "out of touch" with his spiritual life, he assumed that he would live to be old. probably denied death completely, actually!
Here was a intelligent man who probably "put down" all the local upstate new york farmers as being "rednecks", for being narrow minded: but often the college professors are the most rednecky of all!
forgetting his soul agreements, in life, probably, as well as in death! He forgets that he Contracted to die at a young age!
self-centered.....obnoxious.....not feeling for other people's realities......that is my guess for him!
[when i got out of the hospital, i saw later a faded bumper sticker on a Ithaca car...
-----as if christmas carols were the most utterly obnoxious thing going!]

this poor guy! there may have been no spirit life for him at all! the local Wicca circles he looked down on as being "delusional states", the Native American paths lead to repressions, the Tibetian monestary that just opened, in Ithaca, is yet more of the same.....
""sow your oats": the Credo of a young college man....we all were there once!
But not all of us Contracted to die at a young age! This poor guy Got His Wake-up Call!

So now he was in heaven, Unprepared!
Imagine putting a *very* complicated computer Role playing game CD into your computer and installing "Daggerfall"...Baldur's Gate II"...or Wizardy VII: and there you are, at the opening screen of the game, but WITHOUT a manual, without even the keyboard commands sheet, clueless!!
entering heaven without "prep" warmup, no clue...
But then his Guides would help him, the angels would be there for him..........
Too bad that he could not have Learned a bit, beforehand, about the Country that he would be going to live in, for a thousand years and more, while alive here on earth! One really OUGHT to read about the "Japan" country and its people's customs, before you move there: one should be familar with the Game manual before playing!

Wednesday, November 28, 2001

Ah, the AUTISTIC experience!

I go often to a cafeteria for my supper. i have trouble ordering food on the line. there is a brocculi salad that i like: but i always end up saying "culliflower salad" when i ask for it!

I thought about this, as i did it again the other day.
---seems that in order for me to order food, i have to blank out UTTERLY the world outside, and then to
intricate-ly go through a long associational train of thought as the "WORD" is not the food and i think in images and i have to see that mass of green called "the salad" and then i have to ago ahunting for the word FOR that salad. to do this, i have to blank out the counter, the people behind me, as they get so so impatient, blank out all the outside world so that i can go through this thing with getting the proper word to corresepond with what i want to order!

i feel that most people think through their "desktop" as if the think and the concept are the same.
no access the hard drive: just use the desktop on the monitor screen!
i could do this, in a conversation, if i just use the words...."blap blap blap blap...over and over and over: no thought what so ever!
oh, i hear a couple of guys talking like of this desktop talk, the other day....they talked of ten foreign
films that they had seen, with the actors names and all of the last ten movies EACH of these actors had played in and the YEARS these movies were made: 20 seconds!!
i, myself, would still be on "word number one"!!

no wonder i never try to verbally defend myself, never to argue: i always lose lose lose, as even a "deaf mute" can run circles around me!

----but i know, utterly, that the word is NOT the object! i do not think that is very common knowledge!
I have actually seen people spend 20 minutes at a menu list, at a ice cream shop, to order their ice cream: the actual ice cream is in the open-to-view freezers, before them. if they ordered, say, Vanillia ice cream, from that menu-board, they would be ordering the WORD "vanillia"!! the actual vanillia ice cream could be in a box that is almost empty, the ice cream in it all ice cystal refrozen and stale stale and old cardboardybox tasting! they eat the word!
i go up to look into the boxes and i order something that looks fresh and vital and good tasting: words have nothing to do with this at all.

Tuesday, November 27, 2001


well well well...I have Learned something Huge, yesterday.

---back in 1998, in the late winter, i had to go to the county seat to do some Disability paperwork and someone from the church drove me there. tis 30 miles each way and thus he was able to tell me of his ANGEL experiences. seems that in very "dire need times", in his life, a lady would walk up to him and tell him things about his life....and if he were to walk arounf the corner to where she walked after telling him, she would be Gone! An Angel! someone from Spirit who was able to come down in vibration to talk to him.
---a few days after that trip, i had a dream, a dream that CAUTIONED me to be aware that i would, myself, soon have such an Angel Experience and when it would occur: that i MUST be very very aware of
my surrounding envirnment.
upon awakening, it was obvious to me that if this angel were to appear to me: that trip to the county seat was also set up for me in order to PREPARE me FOR this angel-to-come!

several days pass. on one day, upon a near-daily walk out onto my "alone country road", a man stopped his pickup truck and he began to talk to me. and indeed, he told me of my life. No...he was a "real man-he did not disappear" after he drove away...but i knew even then that he was "Overshadowedly inspired" to give to me a Messege.

six months later, i nearly died and Dreamspirit told me that i could have died, but there was a delay of grace for awhile.

---now in this angel experience, all of the surrounding events near it in time, turned out to be a snynchronetic expansion of this messege.....the state of my state of my life as of 1998!

NOW, yesterday----I see His whole messege to me.
that the first few years of my life was to be a child. then there would be a small time of sickness that was a Memory of when i died, in another lifetime, long ago, when i was the same age.
the next 21 years was to take me to where my childhood home was to be gone with: that came in 1975 when my mother was killed in the auto accident and all of the property was sold.
the last 21 years completed my life-mission, in 1996-7!
--------this was told to me in febuary of 1998.

there was More!
as i nearly died yet AGAIN in the early winter of 1993---20 days in the hospital, weighing 118lbs afterwards...after i came out and spent nearly 20 months in my hometown near this hospital, recooperating...there was a grand family reunion in the late summer of 1995, then i left my hometown for a year.
----this angel told me that this period was a reflection of that 10 to 12 or so years as a child in the 1940s!
----and that the period from 1995 to 1998, when i nearly died again and left my hometown....the messege was that i would leave for good: never come octave of that mother's death.
---and that from 1998 to 2001-2 I would more or less be alone, until i came to that 1982 point that symbolized my end of my life!

of course all of this "bio" means nothing to you, the reader of this! very impressive to ME, naturally, but
just sentences for you: point is....that it is Quite Possible for an Angel to appear to anyone at any time. does not even have to be a discarnated spirit materialized! can be just of someone on earth who is inspired to be there to say something to you!

yes when one admits that there is the Possibility for PROMPTERS to whisper to you, upon the stage of life, to help you in your play-production, to play your Part, the part that is called, "your life": why all sorts of possibilities will exist, of "reading between the lines" of one's dail;y experiences!!

Monday, November 26, 2001

someone wrote: [ I recieved a letter from a lady who has a very Sensitive, Gifted, Autistic child: she gives the url for the son's paintings.]
> These drawings are from a 4 year old autistic
> child.?
here is my reply to her.

"out of the mouths of children" so they say!!

tapping the river of the collective uncounsciuosness!
reminds me of the library mural, the one in QUINCY florida where there is a mural on the wall painted by kids from the local school: it shows the trade center with two airplanes aiming for it and there are red demons on the streets, the one plane is exactly the color of the first one to hit.
this mural was PAINTED FIVE YEARS AGO!

---and all events cast shadows in advance of them; the Sensitives pick them up.

some, many, autisticnessess are due to an old old soul
occupying a brain that is too too small for it, i feel!
be like of a win98SE trying to be used on a 2 gig hard drive with 16megs of ram! ---or like several programs trying to be used at once: "illegal action code: shut down"!! thus there are too too many brain wire conflicts within memory, especially if the person, like of ME, is visual-image orientated!

I, myself, have had many dreams where i have been shown actual picture-scenes from my future, a future that lay up to 15 years away!

One of the problems with being gifted and autistic, is the problem where one become self-not-accepting, as so many people puts that autisitc person down, as he is "the nail that sticks out, the first nail to get the hammer! internalizing, as it were, the other people's Judgement of that autistic person!

How wonderfull to be a Parent of such a person, this See-er!


Wednesday, November 21, 2001


after THAT dream of yesterday, i feel like i have been Informed, yet again....that dream of the high school where my soon-to-die warning was shown to me yet again.

betcha i will Meditate and Pray a bit over the Holiday weekend on THIS one!

This life of mine is sure sure mysterious!
everyone else's is too!

but ya gotta read behind the lines of one's life to see the mystery of it, one's life, i find.

a life is like a dream.
" row row row your boat
down the stream....merrily merrily merrily,
life is but a dream"

---if life is a dream: it can be INTERPETED like a dream!
all of one's daily little small events, are bits and pieces of a Larger Picture.
just as each little hunk of fired clay colored bit of ceramic, makes up a mosaic, a mosaic of hundreds and hundreds of these bits of fired colored clay....where if ya git right up close, about one inch away from the wall, all you can see is several colored bits of clay that look utterly unconnected from each other...a red one here next to the green one there...
----just as the events of one's day, one's life are like of that! the number on the cash regester next to you at the checkout line, the words the old lady says to her friend that you hear as you walk out of the store, the song on the radio that you turn on...the very first words of it, and the words that your son says to you as you open the door with your groceries as you come home.......
-----each little event is a "bit of colored clay" in your Mosaic that is called "your life".
Only your Soul, your Oversoul, and your Guides...can actually see the whole life-mosaic, on the "wall", as they stand outside of your life, in the Higher spirit vantagepoint.
thus you might deem these events at the supermarket and afterwards, to be of utterly no importance as they are unconnected in THIS dimension but connected at a higher level where the "mosaic" has a Meaning when seen. these events could be a Messege or comment to you!

yes, just as if you place a chair with ink on the four leg-bottoms on a large sheet of paper where when you take the chair away you have four inked squares that *are* not connected, except that you see the symetry of the square of the four corners...."a synchronism" you exclaim! the four bits of colored ink are in a pattern! yes, they are connected at a higher dimension: the chair as a chair...thus a sign, omen, or sychnchronism is where there is a meaningfull pattern that exists at that higher level of Spirit that is not discernible here on earth! that is what i feel a synchronism IS...where there are these "bits of clay" of small daily events, that are connected by a thread-of-meaning, that is at a higher level.

this sort of patternings occur more in one's dreams as they are nearer to spirit, at night.
thus if one interpets one's day's events *as* if they were a dream....why then one lives in the DREAMTIME! one lives where there are "hidden" meanings behind any possible event.

Tuesday, November 20, 2001


Yet ANOTHER of these here "death-to-come" dreams!!

this one began where i awoke to the dream where i was standing in a building looking out of a window onto a grassy lawn, a lawn that was behind my old Interlaken High School.
there was a post driven into the ground, behind it, a bit, was the school.

suddenly, on the ground next to this post, there appeared...materialized....a four foot square signboard
with printed writing on it. this writing i only now vaguely recall, as i did not recall it in the dream-memory so well....but the gist of what was printed onto it, in Big Black Letters, was:

"Freestone's [my] life has concluded: now it is time to die, the life-mission being finished: die very very soon"!!

I could see "denial" at work: as if i really did NOT want to read or to accept the messege on this sign!
I turned to someone in the room to have him read that board, but he tells me that he can see nothing at all except that post and the grass: to him the board is invisible...tis only for me to read!
BASICLY---this signboard was stating to me that my life was finished, no more to do, time now to die...and to die very very soon, in time!

[the school has appeared in many of my dreams over the years. it is my own "school of life", my life *as* a school for learning, in this high school called "the earthly incarnation of Freestone wilson".
thus any dream that has to do with this school, has to do with my life and its progressions.]

["looking out of a window onto the lawn"....looking out of myself into something OBJECTIVE...not from my own imagination, but something given to me from outside of just my own ego/personal subcounsciousness!]

[the signboard??.....lying on the ground...the ground of "basic foundations". but WHO gave it?!
---my soul?
---Guides? Higher Self?
just because a messege appears from spirit, does not make it True! Messeges must come from Spirit, not spirit-only: "helpfull" spirits may not see the whole picture, of an event, thus their counsul may be flawed, even if they mean well!]

If this messege is True and Real: then the "i am to go to heaven very very soon" "ON"!!
no further graces of Time"

so if anyone out there reads this: i say to them...."stay tuned"! I may have six months....nine months...
but hey!
there IS no death! there is only a move to another place and to another Role, another job!
i will NOT dwell upon this "morbidly"...i will try even the harder to let go of "earthly negativities" and to reach out for more creative stuff!

---but there IS lots of ponderings, after that dream. folks!!!

several years ago, there was yet ANOTHER "interlaken high school" dream that pertains to my death: i went yesterday to my dream journal to re-read it.
in this dream, i actually stood on a dock or pier, standing over the water, the water of the "river Jorden"...the Other Side was obscured in fog....
I leaped up into the air, from the very end of this dock, and yelled out that my life was finished and that I had accomplihed very very well what i incarnated for, and that now i Go Across to heaven.

then i next recall that i am standing upon the heaven-shore: next scene *is* inside of this high school building! some counselor tells me that i am to have a certain room to live in, with a certain number on the door.
[number means something meaningfull only to is a total of several numbers, ONE is my currant age of 60! thus this number can not have "61" as one of its parts, in this sum-total!]
I am told, by this counselor, that i am to have this room *because* of my earthly life. i am NOT told what lies within, or what karma/dharma is to go with this room.

anyway....long enough for today.....i will NOT lack for things to Pray and to meditate upon, in the days...weeks..months, ahead. I now look at that SOLAR ECLIPSE on June 10/2002 with Wonder, as it is oppossed Pluto and the North Node right ON my ascendant! only a couple of weeks from my 61st birthday! so i hope to keep writing what occurs, in the months ahead......

Friday, November 16, 2001

been amazed at my dreams of the last few days!

Heaven scenes!

problem is....i cannot recall the thread of these dreams: thus there is no article about the meanings of them!
-----i seem to go to places nightly, and see certain people and do things with them, in scenery that would make one's eye pop open in amazement. i fly or float over countrysides, alone or with others....

I recall what someone spoke out loud, as if it were a "teaching statement", however....

"We all will become Gods, soon: but first each of us must learn of what it is to be a live in the flesh, on earth AS a man"
----not the exact quote, unfortunately: but there is a feeling, to me, as i heard this spoke, in a room, to a group of very very old that some spirits, after death, can *only* go to live in the Spirit afterlife world, unless they have been IMPRINTED, in their souls, by a God! then they can move up to the God-worlds, eventually, to live. thus these God-imprinted souls are "Gods-in-training", an will soon become Gods, each of them.
difficult for a spirit, after death, to become God-enfused, in the spirit world: they, i guess, have to incarnate AS a human being, on earth, then they can become God-enfused, God-imprinted, here.
probably by a Guru, or a in "temple intitiation".
Or joining of a group that is of a Magik or Spirit-enfused path!

but as Gods in trainings, that advice that i heard, probably refers to living as a human being, right now, on the earth, to enjoy life, the beauty through the senses, and the flesh!

Wednesday, November 14, 2001

ah yet more mess for New York City!!
One would think that this air plane crash would be the very last thing that they needed there! anywhere but there.

makes me "suspicious"! suspicious that Spirit has a hand in this, that there is some "spiritual" reason
why this had occurred. tis near the "11th"!

----i wonder.....
there was a certain city that i often drove through over the 40 years of driving from florida to new york and back. One day, in that city i had a car accident.
THEN from then on, each and everytime that i drove even NEAR this city, my car would break down or my tire would go flat....or something would occur with my car!
i eventually gave up driving through this city!

once something occurrs, there seems to be a kind of "memory" there. like the time-dimensional "anniversery date" phenomina! persistance of memory. I once quit a very distastefull janitor job, after 9 months of "hell"! i processed out of the office and then went to a donut shop to recuperate, after my final searational interview and paperwork was all done with: a free man now! i sat down for coffee and just then a guy walked in who i had sometimes seen there. he walked up and offered me a job!
you guessed CORRECTLY!!....he offered me a janitor job! he had no idea that i had just quit!

of course....the "bouncing basketball keeps bouncing, even after you stop dribbling it!"
persistence of momentum, fueled, perhaps, by the vibes in the air, over new york.

since "things occur in threes"....i would predict that yet another such event will occur there, in a month or three!

Monday, November 12, 2001

I went to look AGAIN at Sam's dream of this spring.
he said..."2005 DF"

the "DF" was after the date, not before.
as in "AD" perhaps?
"drive failure" or" Death of Freestone"?!


I will have to wait till more information comes.....

Sunday, November 11, 2001

oh that Rescue dream of three days ago!

Yet another Dream where i am enlisted into rescue of decased souls who seem to need help!
dream begins: I awake in dream into a area of southern Illinois: means always that this place is a low heavenworld right near the earth's vibrational plane!
like of a code! south Illinois=low astral plane where the new arrived souls from earth pass through.

I went or was sent to a "pentecostal camp". some campground where there were a number of people.
must have been a hundred or more, nearly all were younger people, in their 20s perhaps. i do not recall all of the particulars of the hours and hours that i spent there, but i really recall one event!!
here i stood before a young man and all but SCREAMED into his face to try to get his attention...
---his attention was now gotten!
I told him to look upwards to the sky.
I said..."you are dead and you still think you are on earth: but you are truly not dead: look above you and SEE the planes of heaven where at the upper levels Jesus LIVES and at the lower levels Jesus VISITS: you are to go to one of these levels"! I actually said that!
---i could indeed see upwards into the sky and i could see what looked like to be a open shaft, like of an elevator shaft, going up into the sky. i could also see that there were three or five floors to this shaft where doors opened out onto "floors". just like looking up an open elevator shaft with open elevator doors.

---must be a law of heaven: the upper celestial levels is where Jesus and the masters live, and they have "outposts" and "visiting halls/sweets" on the lower levels, levels that are above where this camp was.
[yuuch..."sweet" as in a "sweet of rooms"! i just can NOT deal with words....sweet it is: that is what it sounds like! sweite? swuit" ? ????]!
---this is not the first time by any means that i have been part of some rescue effort: perhaps that is why i live, after all my Missions are over with: this means that i can aid the deceased by living here.

therory: a dead person in the lower realms might not be able to see his Angels and Guides, he is yet too earthly in vibes, especically if he lived a earthly life or died young "before his time"!
If i were to come to his world, where he is, and stand before him, he can see me as i am of earth. but i have the Enfranchisement of Higher Guides and angels so that there is some of THEIR Spirit within me.
thus by seeing ME, this soul can now also see my guides and Angels. then he can make contact with his own.
think-----"clutch plate" in a stick shift car! one side is with the motor and the other side is with the rear end of the car: thus the motor can drive the car.
A cannot see B.
but if A sees AB, then he can now see B, as the AB has B within it!
then he can now go to B.

i pray to have more of these: i will write of them.

well i went back to my dream dirary to re-read my friend's dream.

my friend called "Sam". he graduated with me from high school in 1960---a childhood friend and a friend of many years. we two had long talks during the 60s..70s, untill he became so busy with his farm and i basicly left that areaof the country and when i lived there in the 90s, sam had 800 acres and not a moment to talk!
Once i dreamed of him flying through the air with a "hat" made up of a hawk, as if the hawk was on top of his head, a hawk headress, hawks' head was at Sam's third eye: i read later that this IS what the native Americans see if the see a SHAMAN out of his body, as they dream and see in their dreams this shaman.
Sam was a shaman in a past life: he even looked Indian, utterly, even if there was no indian blood in his family!
Sam is QUITE capible, thusly, of visiting me on earth, in my dreams!

he died in 1999.
about the time he died, i had a vision dream of my own where Sam came to see me to tell me that heaven is amazing and that even i did not know how amazing it was and that ten years go by in heaven to one year of earth time!

then there was that sam dream where he came to me to tell me that his NAME had changed, now, up there. it was something like"Angle". "angel", probably!

---then there is that dream of april of this spring, the dream i want to write up here. was very short, this dream.
Dream: Sam cme to me, i could see him. he looked about 25 years old, now, with all his hair. but is was Sam. he told me just one thing and he told me it over and over and over, i could too see what he said printed out, below him. must be he really really wanted me to have this messege burned into my brain!
"DF 2005 DF 2005 DF 2005 DF 2005 DF 2005 DF 2005
DF 2005 DF 2005 DF 2005
----i kid you not, seem like *that* many times it was repeated! then Sam left, the dream was over.

later that day, i came across an article in a computer mag that had a headline...."Drive Failure"?
did this "DF" mean "hard drive failure" of some sort, like of earthchanges??
the earth does spin like a hard drive!

there is another meaning, in light of my inspiration of yesterday about those "3 years to get ready"
sometimes a date is written "2005 AD" or "AD 2005"
probably the simplist answer is the right one...
D as in death.
F as in Freestone, my name!

death of freestone---2005 ------ DF 2005.

Sam WOULD do that, be capable of that, finding it and coming to tell me of it!! i believe that.
so the good news, i will not die right soon. but three years? whether of individual death or of earthchanges.....three years. I would believe Sam, MORE than most of the prophets/psychics
that i know!! here was an old soul who wanted to live alone on his farm, not being able to deal with the white man's cities and people would come to see him so much that he never could repair his farm machinery until 10 at night and that these people would DUMP all of their pains pains onto him!
a kind of healer maybe. he could feel their aura immediately as they came....most people he did not like as their aura was SO disturbed!! i would even call him a "teacher" of mine...being more the sensitive than most if not all, of the "new age psychics" that i know or read about!!

Sam must have been in heave "15 years" when he gave to me that dream!

Saturday, November 10, 2001

end of the world?!


-----I had a *very* interesting experience yesterday!
I was walking across the huge mall parking lot, empty of cars, so nice and quiet, the open sky is so nice....and i was pondering several dreams and experiences at once.
----my deceased friend's Coming to me to tell me, about three months ago,"DF 2005"! that is all he said to me.

"DF" in "hard drive failure"! was he warning me of my death, or was he warning me of Something Else, as when he was alive, there was a time when he was slightly obsessed with the earthchanges/end times!!
the hard Drive that Spins...the earth! [there was a tie with "hard drive"...the association is too too long for this here post!]
-----that 19 year cycle of mine where first there is a "burning" then three years later there is a Greater
Death! [like my sister's loss of house then three years later she dies...1982-1986!
now it is 2001, and the wtc towers burn.

I heard a voice in my head!
it said...."three years: end times---three years to get ready"!!!
as my sister lost her house about october 10 and she died three years and five months[march] later
my forest ranger school burned in october of 1963 and in march of 1967 that was a "death event" with me....
i might assume that Spirit's assumption is that in late 2004 to spring of 2005: Something Could happen, collectively, with the earth upheavaling!

I walked into the cafeteria, in that mall. as i sat down to eat, the two ladies sitting at the next table: one of the ladies told the other lady...."2 to 3 years....must get ready"!!
Tis the very first thing she said!
Omenious!! a synchronism!

Somehow, i Sensed, that now i have a Choice! a decision that i must make, a choice that has it where MOST of the reality lies in the spirit world and just HOW can i make this choice?!!

ask the lord to have me keep that possible Appointment in heaven, in 2002, so that i can become a Worker for the Angels of Preparations: to help set up the healing centers for the thousands and thousands[millions?!] of souls that might come to heaven all at once, if this messege is true, and help these souls Adjust to heaven, as they would have come so quick and unprepared!
ask the lord for to remain here until the End, and to come with the rest of the incoming souls, as there are plenty of angels and archangels there already: plus that i may NEED that three years, for my own growth, OR to be an aid to others!
[example of aid to others that having me on earth is CRITICAL for....where i go out of body, at night, to be of Service to help earthbound souls ascend from the next-to-earth spirit plane, being "earthbound", to be able to go to a higher "real" heaven. my being in the spirit world AND being of the earth, makes me a bridge, a go-between, for these souls to be able to Ascend with the Angels. these earthbound souls can see me better than they can see these angels near them, as i am of earth, and as i would be "enfranchised" by these rescue-angels, then these lost souls can now see the Angels!]
[i hope to write-up an Amazing such rescue mission soon here!!]

that rescue OBE work is QUITE reason enough for me to remain here till the very very last second of the earth's "time"!

I Feel that i will go with that choice!
to Ask the Lord for Support and Guidance...and remain here. Even if i have to go through the very same healing center, after i arrive, there in heaven, in 2005, as a "patient"....and spend umpteen "months" of heaven-time *as* a patient----tis Worth It, as there would be Souls that ascend to heaven, from the earthbound-state, via my Service to Spirit....that could not be reached by any other means!

so perhaps , in a few months, "that" truck that was suppossed to run the stop sign and Take me Out to the afterlife, sometime in early 2002: perhaps spirit will give to this truck a motor-stall, so that the driver sits at a previous traffic light, stalled, so that my Appointment is missed: i will never know it, as this truck sits stalled ten blocks back!
maybe, after hundreds of OBE rescue missions....sometime in 2005, a tidal wave will come up over the horizen and bring me home, along with 10,000 the healing Center.

Friday, November 09, 2001

strange! i walked for the first time in months to the market last night, at a late time. i ran into a lady from the bus who i have not seen for months, at the day care center, on the way there.
she has a girl about five. bad divorce, she has to do it alone, raising her. she is chronicly depressed and chain smokes. nice lady, very "country' and earthly simple. she remarked about "that trailer for rent behind me that was taken before she got to see it". i told her how that trailer will be open in December and i gave to her my landlord friend's number. she probably will call him soon.

here it is how i walk and see her, "accidently" and she could be living 50 feet away...but probably the landlord will not rent to her as she smokes like a chinney!! as IF i was "directed" JUST to have her next door, a older singleman just for her and her daughter!
---chronicly depressed, the last person i need, a cloud over her even when she smiles!

seems nearly ALL the people i know are like that: why if i were not so "isolationist" and "denying", why i could have 20 of these depressed, sad, on therapy, people for friends and they will need ALL of my time all day long! is Spirit actually TELLING me that i need to be a Source of life-force channel, for these people?
to be a "healer" for them? I hope not!

I sense a TERRIBLE secret about depressed people, though: maybe this is what attracts them to me.
It is...that depressed people are more "awake", and more counscious, than the rest of us!!
they ARE suffering suffering, and have lost their Innocnce: many "happy" people are innocent and are asleep! the depressed person KNOWS that things are not right, within or without, and they lack a method of how to deal with this condition: the depression is their frustration.
there is uncounscious innocence.
then there is discord.
then there is resolution.

like of one gal who finds her clerk job boring, but the other girls in the office just Do Not Know, these other girls are "Fat, Dumb, and Happy", in their asleepness, fodder for advertisement people to have them buy buy buy, and these asleep people will swim with the fish and walk with the herd even if the herd is heading for the cliff!

every "spiritual" person has heard that ole chestnut of a saying, about 10,000 times...."suffering is GOOD for the soul"!
this is why!....
+ -----------------------------
+ peace, resolution

the two "plusess" above, the "stairs" from one floor to another, is that DEPRESSION!

thus depressed people are more spiritually evolved than most people!
they just cannot bury their heads in the sand anymore! cannot deny, repress: it all comes out!

Wednesday, November 07, 2001

i read today mr Manderville's "phoenix rising"

earthchange mailing list at do a
search on the homepage for this name.

usually he has one or two articles on it, during the
week. he is of the feeling that Edgar Cayce is right
about the pole shift and that it is to occur very very
soon, like in 2001 0r 2002! the whole crust is to
somehow move, creating terrible terrible
earthquakes..tidal waves...etc. I, myself, would have
just assumed manderville was "just" another
psychic/prophet who sees probibilities and events that
might be overwritten by spirit if we all change our
i, myself, have had a vision where i saw that crust
slide, from astral travel vision seeing from about
50,000 feet above the earth! THEN, the next day, that
very morning after the dream, i came across mr
manderville's site by "accident"!!!
here is a copy of that vision!

hello Mr Manderville....hello any others.

can i visualize the crust moving??
I HAVE!! I have even before i came
across manderville's
a vision!!

! have already IN a vision dream,
visioned the crustal movement and
THEN on the next day i came across
manderville's site and information
thus my vision WAS of crustal

dream begins......

I am dreaming. the dream begins
where I am lying on my back on my
childhood bed, back in my 1950
childhood home in upstate New York.
many of my Out Of Body visions BEGIN
from this vantage point.
while on my back, i am watching the
plaster ceiling. but i see NOT
the ceiling, i am seeing something
utterly utterly strange!
I am seeing what looks like a topdown
view of a like of a crust of
paint that has hardened upon a bucket
or pail of water, begin to move!
my vantage point would be maybe three
inches above a bucket of paint
or three miles above an ocean. the
crustlike stuff moves in JERKS!
jerks like of a bad bug in a computer
game where the video is jerky.
move. stop. move. stop. move. stop.
each jerk is about one second
long. Thus all of the ceiling's worth
of this material slowly
jerk-slides away to one side, all of
it moving in the same direction,
continuiously. not one motion of it
was "smooth" jerks, spasams,
did it move.
Too...the material looks like it is
"rough". really what it looked
like is an air photo of desert
mountains from about 100,000 feet up!
there was just enough "altitiude
variations" to call this surface
"rough"! thus all of this stuff
seemed to move jerkedly, but
coherently, in one piece, like of a
jerkingly moved rug, across a
suddenly a dark blackness, as if
the very blackness had a substance,
formed just over my head and began to
descend upon my head on the
i moved quickly, to avoid this what
looked like a 'black as death"
cloud of ink blackness! utterly
dark! black AS death, like it WERE

dream ends.....I wake up!

I wonder IF this darkness meant that
death would be the rule for many
of the people involved with this
crustal Movement?!

the next day, i came across
manderville's wonderfull article on his
site...i NEVER heard of manderville
or his writings before this.

usually, but not 100%...maybe
90%...whenever i dream of something that
appears in that day ahead...this
means that whatever it TRUE
from the vantagepoint of Spirit!!

so there. i can and HAVE visualized
the Crustal Shift....thank you!!

end of vision


when the runners come down the marathon road to the
white tape at the finish line and one runner gets
there first, that event of the tape breaking is a
marker, a marker for when the race is over. the
starting gun, way back ten miles and half an hour ago,
is also a marker, a marker for the beginning of that
but these markers do not indicate much about what KIND
of race this is and was! they are markers for the
beginning and the end.

just like two doors in a room: one enters and then
leaves, awalking through.
plant a seed and the harvest.
---a more extreme example of this: two dots six feet
apart. one dot is the *very* end of a snake's tail:
the other dot is the *very* end of the nose of this
snake. a six foot big snake.

thus i feel the wtc is a marker for us all, in some
way. the marker of the END of some Process of spirit.
SO....since the wtc is only a "dot that is the snake's
tail"...the actual crashing of the plane and even the
ben Labin and his terrorist group, has nothing to do
with what occurred during the time "Before"
the wtc crash!! in other words....the wtc was
symbolic, somehow, of some greater Something, and its
burning ruining was only a marker that this process is
now over.
there might be nothing connecting ben laben with the
"body of the snake, or the "marithon run"! Some Great
Work, of Spirit, has now been accomplished; may have
little to do with the crash!
finished when the wtc went down.
-----which COULD mean that NOW the earthchanges can
begin in earnest! the "angels of protection" may step
back, as now the unknown spiritual work is over: work
which would have been stopped in mid-process if the
earthchanges had interrupted it!
maybe..if that earthchanges is part of the Plan of
Spirit for us all! if not part of that "plan", then
no changes will occur. but if SO...then i would
expect that before sept 11 of 2002, after a bit of
"rest"....there could be the beginnings of some real
great Changes...more
we will soon find out!

----i wonder what that "snake" or "run" was, that the
wtc was a end-marker for?!!

Monday, November 05, 2001

being autistic always seems to find me out of it, in the social order of things.

today, someone asked me at my lunch place..."why were you not here to eat friday?"
[i went to a church sale then]

but to answer her was nearly impossible.....what i WANTED to tell her was..."I went to the place for the sale"!
I have 100 picture images for all of what i did that friday at the sale. but to actually TELL someone and have a meaningfull commicative messege: oh BOY!!
first i have to image the church. then to name it...names are not picture images so i have rummage rummage rummage through my brain. then i have to tell her WHAT kind of sale it was...garage sale/ xmas sale/ craft sale/ bazaar/.....each word out of 20 words for "sale" has a subtle meaning that utterly differs from the other 19 words for sale.
by then the kitchen helpers needed her for something: i had not even got to the "church' part, of the "image-into-words" Conversion!
I think in picture images, not words: translating takes up so so so much time that no one has the patience, today, for such a thing!

when i think i cannot speak. when i speak, my thoughts are "Zero"! thus i have to very very slowly speak and everyone can outrun me, out-talk me. how can i ever verbally defend myself or win an arguement when i have to always reach for a thought only to find that i can not find it and by the time i do, my oponent is ten sentences ahead and has won the arguement and he has taken the spoils and has left!
ah well......good thing that i never have told anyone my heaven vision experiences: take an hour or two PER tale to do so!

last nights OBE.

my dream began where i was walking along a road, that is where my awareness started. the countryside was of rolling pastured hills about 200 feet high, with plants and trees in the creeks, the valleys.
looked a bit like perhaps eastern nebraska might look: the edge of the plains. the road was "primitive dirt". But i KNEW, in my dream, that i was in Russia! somewheres in the western steppes of russia.
i was so aware of this that i pulled a golden flower off of some goldenrod-looking plants to smeel the crushed tops....yes they smelled quite like goldenrod...the fall plant of the North, but an Asian version....astrally!

i followed the road, this country road...i could see farm buldings and even a metal shed or two that was recently built.

eventually i came to a town.....eventually i met some people and was invited to come to see their home...
the home was of just two rooms, in a very small aprtment; everything was packed and jammed together
as if four people live in the space of one person. the family introduced me to the grandmother matriarch of the family and then i woke up: the dream ended. i got up and went to the bathroom.

strange. when i slept again, i awoke in my dreams to getting ready to sit down with a family for dinner.
i could see the meal begin prepared, from the pot, on the table....what looked to be potatoes and cabbage! was that russian family having me for guest for dinner!

I find this a lot in my obe-dreams. the dream ends and i wake up and go back to sleep and the dream CONTINUES!. sometimes there is missing time, like of last night. as if there was a "second me"
that is in the obe-state, apart from the "freestone-me" that is dreaming it.
well, my Higher self is the dreamer, aparently having an objective life of its own, apart from the me on earth...

Sunday, November 04, 2001

sorta makes me feel a bit depressed!

seems that most of the people that i would call "friends" are not anymore people that make me feel happy, when i am with them!
they either are into something that i cannot relate to, or else they are depressed or angry about life and i do not like to pick up a scorpian!

one friend yesterday spend most of his time with me talking about the "illumenetti" and the top ten families ruling mankind!
---then there are the many who seem to want to live with me! they want to have me hold their hands and tell them that their depression is "OK". to go FISH FOR them instead of having them get a pole
and fish for themselves! and the real wonderfull old souls?? why they are so creatively busy that it is actually , i consider, a sign of good spiritual health for them if they do NOT have one second even to talk to me!
thus i seem to be able to be near only the slightly and not so slightly "disfunctional"! they are not engaged in what america calls "life"!!

Saturday, November 03, 2001

I met an old friend yesterday at the Black Dog coffee house.
[strange strange place, this shop: why this hip/cool coffee shop is in the American legion hall!
everyone gets along fine: the ww II vets and the Vietnam vets, who have a place next door...why they sit with the college professor liberal and Dialogue!]

he was consumed by an Idea from several books that he read, spent near all of the time that i had, and surely he could talk on it for hours and hours.......his idea?
-----that most of the world has been manipulated by the Cabal...the rockefellers...the mellions....the Families at the top where presidents are chosen and that ben Laben was a top CIA employee when Russia was in Afganistan!! the Puppet masters who control the world!

i found his rant depressing!
i do not want to believe that he is right: IF he is...the media is 101% misleading and we all are Peasents!
there is no way that i can reality test what he says.......

but suppose he is right?
would it help if somehow they could be removed, this "illuminetti" bunch?
NO! i feel not, as there are 100 more families waiting in the wings to fill the empty shoes, and yet more behind them...."sharks teeth"..layers and layers deep!

problem is...that as long as the world Values above all....Materialism...power...influence...manipulation:
as long as death is seen AS the end, then the toys you own and the power you wield...count for all!
there is more!
this is a "young soul" world. i read that the average age of souls in the world is about "baby-young"!
that means the "redneck in his pickup truck with that can of beer in his hands....why he is ahead of the median of the bell Curve, of the average ages of souls upon this planet.
in young soul world...the interests ARE in materialisms and powers and influences....
thus one cannot expect 3rd graders to know Calculus, let alone Algebra!
thus....these illunminetti are
ENEVITABLE! they must be there, as part of the soul-growths of some people.

"us" old souls are like "emergent trees" in the rainforest: heads and shoulders higher in soul-age, than the rest of the trees!
in the Forest, the emergant trees scatter their seeds out to the whole forest. thus "us" old souls have a chance to Influence all of the younger souls around us, in Evolvement, as we all are "7th graders in 3rd grade"!

Thursday, November 01, 2001

well well well!
i was cleaning out an old mail box, a free mail sevice; one that i have not used for months and months and lo and behold...i found this article that i saved, an article that Answers a profound Sathya Sai baba Questiion for me!
I have been Disturbed, of late, by all of the REAL seeming acusations that Baba really is a child molestor and has sex with kids and his devotees and that he is a homo in drag and homosexual-inituates innocent devotees to mind-muck them for the rest of their lives!!
---what a turn-off for christians and other spiritual people, if true!!

I now enclose part of this aricle that David Jevons wrote, and had posted onto a mailing list, a couple of years ago. after the article i will say my say as to why i think that baba has this accusation levied against him!! my comments will follow the article.
> Michael,

> I'm attaching Sai Baba's message (Word Document)
> from a recent seminar. Not
> too far into the discourse there is mention of Earth
> Changes.
David Jevons says........
> Another extraordinary speech on Sai Baba and His
> Mission by David Jevons:

> Jevons gave the following talk to an audience of Sai
> Baba Devotees who were
> attending the annual retreat of the Pacific Region
> North of the Sathya Sai
> Baba Organization of the USA held at the Silver
> Falls State Park Conference
> Center of Oregon over the weekend of October
> 22nd-24th, 1999. It has been
[Jevons says......I have cut out much of it to save space, thus it will "jump" from topic to topic!]
> I wonder if we really appreciate the many blessings
> that are continually
> being showered down upon us by our Creator. For
> example, not only are we
> privileged to be here this weekend in this beautiful
> mountain setting,
> enjoying the good company of like-minded people in a
> spiritual retreat, but
> we are also all basking in the omnipresence of our
> beloved Lord, Sri Sathya
> Sai Baba.
> Now it is apparent, to those of us who have been
> following Sai Baba for
> many years, that he is changing the nature of his
> relationship with his
> devotees. Some amazing statements have come out of
> Puttaparthi in the last
> few months. For example, at the celebration of
> Dasara on October 14th [1999] Baba
> walked out of the celebration without giving his
> usual discourse,
> announcing to stunned devotees that he would no
> longer give discourses on
> such occasions. He later said that he has been
> giving discourses for so
> many years but that devotees have not been listening
> to what he has been
> saying. They have not been putting his teachings
> into practice. I recall
> here his warning: "You seek too much information
> and not enough
> transformation." Earlier this month, Indulah Shah,
> the president of the
> world Sri Sathya Sai Organization, came to Vancouver
> and delivered a
> personal message from Swami.
> Firstly, Indulah Shah announced, Sai Baba had said
> that we should not
> concern ourselves with what he had said before June
> 1996 and that what he
> had taught since that time were his final
> instructions to us. The
> information age was now over and the transformation
> age was about to begin.
> Secondly, Sai Baba had said that we should not be
> devotees of his form,
> but devotees of his teachings. The worship of his
> form must stop. He
> emphasized that we were no different from him. We
> were all God, we were
> all no different from God. We should lead our
> lives based on the five
> divine qualities that he proclaims, namely, Love,
> Truth, Peace, Right
> Action and Nonviolence. The purpose of our
> incarnation is to realize that
> we are not our physical bodies, and that we are in
> fact eternal beings of
> spirit.

> Sai Baba has asked us not only to stop worshipping
> his form but the form of
> past Avatars as well. If we get attached to his
> form, or to any form for
> that matter, we are inevitably going to suffer when
> we are denied access to
> the form. As the husband of a wife who was very
> attached to Swami's form I
> know that this is true. When Sai Baba began weaning
> my wife off his form
> he started a painful process, because my wife
> regarded this weaning as a
> form of rejection. When we go to India to see Sai
> Baba and the physical
> Sai Baba ignores us, the ego-self immediately
> creates feelings of
> rejection, of lack of self worth, of doubt and
> suspicion. We say that Sai
> Baba doesn't love us any more, that he doesn't know
> that we are there, that
> he doesn't understand our wants and our needs. But
> Sai Baba is weaning us
> for a purpose, to force us to go inside and to
> contact the force that I
> call Super Sai, the omnipresent force of God, which
> is always with us no
> matter where we are in the world. We don't have to
> go to India to contact
> this force. Ann and I have found that Super Sai is
> so much more powerful,
> so much more approachable, so much more responsive
> than the physical Sai.
> Attachment to the form is in fact a limitation to
> our spiritual progress.
> Sai Baba himself tells the story of an elderly
> devotee who, after his wife
> had died, came to live in the ashram at Puttaparthi.
> He was a retired army
> officer and he was devoted to Sai Baba. He lived in
> the ashram for many
> years but suddenly, one day, Sai Baba told him to
> leave the ashram and to
> go and live in Madras. Reluctantly he left and as
> he was a very old man he
> was looked after by some Sai devotees there. Six
> months later he developed
> cancer and died. Subsequently one of the devotees
> in Madras who had looked
> after him went to Sai and said. "Swami, why where
> you so unkind to this
> man? He was devoted to you and yet you threw him
> out of the ashram just
> before he died?" Baba replied "If I had not forced
> him to go, he would
> never have got liberation. He was too attached to
> my form." So there is a
> danger in becoming too attached to the form of the
> guru. We should strive
> to release all such attachments and to rely on the
> omnipresent God within
> us, not the physical form of God in India.
> In twenty-two years Sai Baba's physical form will
> disappear forever, as did
> the forms of all past Avatars. That is the nature
> of physical life.
> Nothing is permanent. So we can understand why Sai
> Baba is now asking us
> to move from the form to the formless. We are not
> our bodies. We are all
> individualized aspects of consciousness linked to a
> formless and nameless
> energy, which we can call Super Consciousness. Sai
> Baba himself has said
> that he represents Super Consciousness .


what better way to make VERY sure that a devotee will NEVER look to baba's form, as being something to Worship, is to make that form SO distastefull to imagine! what more ugly image can one imagine then that of a CHILD MOLESTER/Homosexual rape-ist?!
I feel that baba set this all up deliberately so that we all trash his form and then only use the Inner Spirit!

what the Guru should do, in my opinion, with a new devotee, is this:
first he convinces the new devotee that he is God incarnate.
then the guru somehow initiates or gives a kind of "implanting" or "connection making", where this God-vibration is somehow implanted into the soul of that devotee.
now this devotee has a direct line to Spirit, for himself, and the outer guru is not anymore needed.

but often this devotee is fixatated upon the outer form of the guru and wants to be physically near the guru for life."i wanna take you home with me: do not ever leave me".
and even the devotee will use the image form of the guru AS being the source of this Spirit, instead of merely being the channel for its manifestation upon the earth.
so this devotee is now, if he is stuck on form....he is putting more value upon the coffee cup than the coffee within, placing more value upon the walls and furniture of a high school classroom, than of what the teacher is teaching!
----so what is a Guru to do?!!
a "real" guru will "enable" the pupil. the guru must give the power to the individual devotee, and not
be seen AS the power to be worshipped! each devotee must have the Connection to God, inside his heart---the guru is not anymore needed, the bycycle training wheels are now thrown away!
now the EMPOWERED devotee can now go back out into the world and relate with the Lord within, like of Jesus giving of the "holy Ghost" to each and every one of the Pentecostal Disciples, after pentecost, shortly after the Ressurection!
---Seems baba has been trying to wean the kittens from the mother for years! now he snarls at these kittens so that they go off in a sulk, to be able to find their own food!
or better yet: make the mother cat's body SO unappealing that no kitten in its right mind will ever come near Mama Cat ever again!!
thus baba will soon die an old man, alone, devotee-less, with NO respect from anyone...i feel! no one will morn his passing, calling baba a "lewd old man who ruined lives"!
"Love" Goodness" "truth"...have no form at all, and are Universal: they are the very properties of God.
thus even the inner picture-image of Baba. also, must Go, go away from the devotee's minds.

yes, a man handing out Fish poles to hungry people so that each of them can Fish for himself, and his work is Done when no one pays anymore attention to him!