Wednesday, October 31, 2001

---a great life realization!

yesterday there was this here incident in the library! where i sit, at a computer, there is a counseling desk about ten feet away where a wonderfull old soul lady sits and counsels students about their career choices and fsu school enrollments for the next semester. she is a very old soul, thus she attracts people to her who are "psychic' and old soul and very spiritual!
there was this man sitting there with her yesterday. i sat and listened, out of the corner of my ear, as i did some computer stuff. Here seemed to be a *very* old soul who talked of fasts and fasting and how he fasts maybe 5 days a week and how he Knows that he is to lighten his load and become very "etheric' and light and "nearly float away".
as if...fruit for food would be extreeeemly heavy stuff to eat: sunlight and air would be the food of choice!

this bothered me, put my teeth on edge, a bit! always does, when a person with a very spiritual tone to his voice, talks of "ascention...lightness...fastings...spiritual detactment to all things....etc..etc", in the new Age way, of today's people on the Path: this guy wa about a" 98 out of 100", on the extreme of this!
bothered me, as i Know and am TOLD to not to fast or to become a vegan.....i eat meat and like the world! in fact, i learn that i really OUGHT to eat nothing BUT meat, ideally, but i do like other foods too!! as if my eating fruit and vegtables was a weakness: i ought to eat 100% meat!!
as if i am 101% out of phase with these people!


he...and his kind, are getting ready to leave not only the earth, but to bypass [or to quickly shoot through]
even the lower heavens and to go to nearly directly to...the Celestial heavens where the Christ spirit LIVES, and not to just visit, like onto the lower levels of the afterlife realms.
i think of the heavens as like a 7-floor building where the earth is on the first floor...yes there are basement levels too! these new agers are NOT going to level 2 or even 3, after they die: they are going maybe, say, to level 4 or 5 or even 6....after they die, or very quickly to there! AND----they may never re-incarnate to earth ever again: thislife is their last incarnation here upon the earth.
thus this last life is in doing a GREAT fasting, in every way possible, to really get ready to go to live in very very high levels after they die, for keeps!

now i know why these guys bother me so!
i am NOT going to the places that they are going to, after i die!
i was shown, even 35 years ago, and in most of my dreams since, that i will go to a certain Calling, after i die.
in all the lower levels and in the "basement" below the earth-level, there are, of course, all of the low level souls and the "ordinary" people, in levels, say, 2...3...4, in this building floor analogy of the heavens.
ordinary people: like the laborors who stand in front of their construction site, after work, with that can of beer in their hands. the homeless....the lawyer who has not a bit of spiritual life in his heart....the Young souls who make up 60%---plus, of the people of the world.
in these lower levels are healing centers and centers to help these young souls Progress, eventually, to upper levels or to re-incarnate back to earth: some...many...of these souls can only really live and function IN an earth-vibration, heaven is REALLY a "foreign land" to them, thus they want to immediately reincarnate back to the earth, after death.
these places of Progressions, obviously need many many helper-souls, why many of these "patients' may need a "one-on-one" counselor where this counselor lives with this soul for a hundred heavenly years, to be a guide for him! many many souls are needed: the need is great and many are needed!
they work FOR the Christ, under Him. we, here on earth, may well call these souls who counsel..."angels"!
thus...i have been Told that this will be my calling: Sai baba himself came to me about five years ago and asked me
"freestone: do you want to help me work with millions of souls for over a million years?"!! my dec 4th 2000 dream of what my heaven will be like: i was shown that i will live *right* at the very very border between this low entry-to-heaven land and the earth-sphere! I have seen this place by the gate, before...very very DARK: all the souls are depressed and in darkness!

so this is why i eat meat and NEED to eat more meat and to really get down to material reality, really get "physical" even the MORE!! i am going in the OPPOSITE direction than this new ager that i wrote of in the beginning of my letter!!
i need to think in images, of things of material that i can talk the language of the young soul!
Thus...i have to be a Young Soul in nearly every way but the very very center of my heart so that i can bond with them after death and we can have a Connection so that i can relate to these young souls!
that is the counseling trouble of today: counselors who talk so high-aflutingly academicly above the people who they counsel so that it all just passess over them. so i gotta think in pictures and think in earthly pictures so that I-and-"client" can actually be nearly on the same plane.
too...i will live a LOT, after death, in places far far BELOW the earth vibration...where "roast beef" and "steak", for food...would be lighter in vibration than anything else that is there on those planes!

so i "wave a salute" to these fasting people and wish them well; i will see them in ten million years, maybe...but i will remain below for eons and eons...helping the Christ progress young souls....

Tuesday, October 30, 2001

got a letter from the guy who is having the bad divorce.

he tells me that he may come by to see me!
he lives 1200 miles away, and he says that he may be applying for a job 400 miles from where i live so he may stop by.
my aunt tells me that at the very beginning of the Splitup, he came by her house for hours each and every day for over a month...sharing the pain pain pain...once he was suicidal.

always happens to me! if there is anyone i touch, i better have a 40 room house as soon after they want to live with me! betcha i could make "friends" with ten people in a week: they would each want all of my time.
"if ONLY someone would u-n-d-e-r-s-t-a-n-d me", they would cry!

they can be like this too, want to tell ya each and every second of their lives from day one, in film-clip
frame-by-frame literalness!
I have Divined as to why these older people do that: they are in the archtype-acal time period where they are approaching their time of Death and they OUGHT to be summing up their lives, arriving at a distilation as to what it all meant----and they can NOT! they can not connect the dots of the very material literal lives that were led, so they cannot arrive at any overview. like as if all of their lives were "leaves" and there were not a single "branch,trunk, or even twig" seen!
but that is what goes to heaven after they die!! the innerness of the lifetree; not the leaves.
so they are in trouble deep. they cannot "final process" they lived and thought a very literal, matter-of-fact, life.
----that is why they "need" someone else to do it for them! thus they loop this need though someone near them, for hours and hours and as long as the other person can stand it!
too bad they cannot loop be able to see their soul in their lives, see the inner workings of what lay behind and within all of the daily life-experiences.

an older man, at the donut shop, once told me of his intended trip to the carolina mountains. he went. after he got back, i asked him of the trip..."how was it"?
"oh it was only broke down once"!
that was what he thought and felt about his trip.
"what were your feelings about the far smokies as you walked out of your motel room into the morning sunrise", i asked.
" " [silence]
"what did they mean for you"?
" "[silence]

---i never DID ever find out; THAT was all he could say. his car only broke down once, and that was his expressed feelings about a looked for trip of three months in advance.

Monday, October 29, 2001

Interesting how my dreams seem to work!

there was yet another out-of-body visit to a somewheres. I can not recall where and who. I only remember two things.
---an arabian-type of person who held up in his hands a box of his country's brand of dates and recommended them to me to eat. probably in the same spirit-world that was of the other night.
---Materializing into a point in space, from a realm, into a lower, closer to earth, the spirit world. sounds SO dry and "intellectual' that statement! the reality was far far from being "intellectual! though! seems that i often do what seems common in computer role playing games and in "star trek"
[---beam me up, Scotty!]---the warp from one point of space to another point of space... instantaniously!
here, in this dream, i materialized about 300 feet up from the ground! i could see the buildings and the hills and trees of a city, but i was there in space. then i fell slowly to the ground, like of being in a parachute. strange strange feeling it was to fall slowly...not good if one has a fear of hieghts to have a obe like of that one!!

I never remember most of these obe dreams. only bits a snatches of them. seems that my "higher self"
has a bit of autominous, free, action. I read from spirit guide's articles that much of the time when one goes OBE, one does not do it alone. there is a hidden-from-the-dreamer, guide or Angel, who takes the person along. I occasionally see some of these guides out of the corner of my vision: much of the time they are a bit higher in frequencey vibration than i am, thus they are invisible to me, in my dream state.
"they" also tell me, i read, that if one prays and ASKS in prayer for to be of use, to heal, to be a Helper....then these Guides can come to that person at night and take them on such journeys.

I well can see how the "witch on the broomstick" idea came about, where an older woman would astral OBE but use the image of herself riding the broom that she has near her legs in her house nearly every a kind of "security device" so to not freak out the subcounscious mind, as one is riding a SOMETHING and not just floating in empty space with LOTS of emptyness below them to evoke in their subcounscious-mind the fear of falling, and thus wake up and lose the obe experience.

Friday, October 26, 2001


interesting out of body dream last night!

the dream begins.
i am at someone's home in some city. seems that there are about four or five men and as many women present. several are wearing white robes with a middle-eastern "hat" on their heads. the dream feels like a spirit-visit dream to a astral-counterpart to an earthly home or apartment somewheres in the usa. they want me to do something....we talk of this something. one of them opens a book and says...this SA RA will give to me an indication as to whether you will go or not!
[to me feels like a middle eastern Muslim oricle-scroll of some sort].


---the next scene.
i am now in some astral counterpart of a parklike field. there are trees and grass, but i see that this area of the world is dry and rainless for much of the year. off in the distance i see water and a city on the other side, a city with low middle eastern buildings.
"they"...those who seemed to have brought me here, they want me to acconpany a meeting of men on a boat. but as i go to this boat i see that it is not on the water, but on a canal that is almost as narrow as the boat and this canal is CIRCULAR...and the boat is pulled by a chain around and around this circle.
i meet the men: then they talk while i stand by. four or five or two are white-american and the middle eastern leader calls himself "the Prince"
[capital P for prince...not small letter.]
a Prince or THE prince of a place called "Suadi" ...and "arabia".
the two leaders get down to business. they talk of "oil" and "water" . the american asks about how the govenment in Arabia is dealing with the Poor and the socially disadvantaged. the Prince hedges a bit and then talks of "Allah's grace!
the meeting goes on and on, the boat circles and circles.
moving boat and sound of water...really masks voices and moving targets are hard to hit!!]

then we all take a ride on another boat, across the water and then the boat turns into a car and runs across a big empty parking lot in front of a large govenment building....[astral travel...the boat/car enables] i can well see that the air is sand hazy and the vegetation speaks of "semi-desert. we travel to an island where the rich have cottages...

then there is a "Flashback memory" to when i was near the prince and on the counference boat too. seems i stood near him with a long stick or pole-sword! occasionally, a flash of light would appear near the prince: i could see that these flashes of light were other spirits who came to crash the party and to add their input to the meeting! my JOB, apparently, was to hit them with that stick and they would go back to where they came from. i must have Volunteered to Spirit for this: my part-earth and part-spirit body would be good for this!

then there was a last dream fragment where i ate dinner at that house in the city where i began the dream. there was exotic eastern food and everyone was happy and laughing and smiling...
end of dream.

Thursday, October 25, 2001

---here is part of a letter to the husband of the daughter of that aunt that i wrote of, yesterday!
[the other side of being single in a married family world!]

yes hello up there in new york. yes i feel your pain, i have had a long long distant relationship with my Aunt R. for years. i have noted often that there ARE many many topics where i come up against a wall of Iron! "go no further, cut you off, lets not discuss"
---that is the tone.
end of dialogue.
she about cut me off completely, once, nearly in RAGE when i merely mentioned that i went to see a psychic at Freeville, the spiritualist camp there!! MERELY to see a psychic: that is an utter "no no" in her books as that is not the christian way!
i wrote a letter to my weblog yesterday about how i feel i am a "lone wolf" in the world of family and marrage!
there is another side to this that lone wolf's me!
their anger towards me as i have that freedom that they resent that i have! they resent my being able to do and to think/feel things that they have to shove under the rug in order for them to have a kind of compromise-peace with themselves as anytime someone chooses something as huge as "family", there has to be things given up in order to accept the blessings of having family! so i wonder how much resentment she has with me.
this can also occur with a single person who commits to some enterprise: i had a friend in Interlaken who had the farm consume him! his farm grew to 800 acres and it took every bit of his time and he, i think, resented me for being so "free"! it killed him, that farm, eventually!
so R. cannot face her daughter, cannot face any other way than that "christianity"!
she listens many many hours a day to "Christian radio"...there is that FM station that is part of the chistian network: BRAINWASHING if i ever saw it as the messeges just keep being poured out night and day, the messeges that come from the fundamentalist belief systems.
oh yes there IS real christianity: but if one uses it
as a coverup, a tarmac cover on the field of life to cover up something unpleasent in one's life??!
so some of R.'s "peacekeepings" is not of RESOLVEMENT of issues, it is of denial and repressions!
I, myself, have tread lightly with her; there is so much forbidden territory in her life, things one must never talk about or even say out loud!
so....she cannot really have a good talk with her daughter as there is only one way for her to do it, in her eyes...the "one trick horse" way that comes out of that fundamental religion!
"personal spiritual growth" and "personal empowerment" are


words that are in the Christian vocabulary!!
the words that seem to be used a lot, in the conservative christian's language, and thoughts, are words like..."peace", "submit to", "acceptance",
---in other find a good bus and get Onto It!
leave the driving to "the Lord"!
all well fine and dandy, EXCEPT when this way is used to deny the rest of one's soul!

so you will not be able to talk to the mother about her daughter. her language is limited, her mind is made up FOR her, years and years ago. she grew up in the Great 1930 depression where and when one SHOULD give up one's personal life for the good of one's family, one's town, one's country!
i ramble.
anyway, i guess i should be fortunate that she has kept relating with me THIS long! would have been shorter if i kept on speaking about "mediums, spirit, psychics, spirits, afterlife"!
maybe i can never never move back there again, the suit of clothes of my childhood is far far too small for me now!
well enough for now......freestone

Wednesday, October 24, 2001

that post i wrote yesterday about my aunt!!

I feel a bit the GUILTY ONE!


she is a family person and i am not.
i got to thinking what it means to be a family person. i never married and never have kids---i Do Not Know!

seems the sea Anemone settles down and digs a hole in the rock and never moves. when a person has five kids and belongs to the church, the circle closes and then one becomes "settled" and conservative by ARCHTYPE DEFAULT! i am a lone wolf, the batchelor bull.

what i sense is that once a person marrys and settles down to "home-kids-family" the life is seen now as
"the wagon train circles around the evening campfire, for protection against the evils of the world, for the sake of the children" all threatening weirdos are indeed a threat, if they approach---ideas too!

I see it now, a story for a novel: the hippie grows up, the social civil rights activist marries and has four kids and one kid has an expen$ive medical problem and they have a nice house in suburbia. one day the head of the neighborhood committee comes by and tells him that a family of mexicans is trying to buy a house four houses down from this guy and that IF this occurs the property values of the house he owns will fall by 60%!!. he will not be able to support the medical fees for his son.
suddenly he realizes not only why the neighborhood blacklisted the blacks in his own father's day: he realizes that he must vote to keep out the mexicans as HIS FAMILY MUST COME FIRST! the welfare of his wife and three kids must come before any abstract idea! he bonds with his father's way; acceepting why his father did what he did, he now joins the "human race", in "family all his ex-hippie friends who are still single must be put away for good, never to be talked to again!
----oh what a terrible idea for a novel!

so here i family.
whole religions have it where one MUST be married before even one gets to heaven!
Mormons. gotta be a family or else one is not saved.
as my friend says about the Gardejeffian way.....[at least the books that he agrees with: he has five kids!]
he says that in order to progress into the higher centers one must activate ALL the centers that are in the earthly human area. home and family is the number one archtype and one must activate the "householder' way of life or else the 'scafforld" is not complete: one is not a complete human being unless one has a family....he says to me! what he really says is that one's spiritual path is blocked: stopped---unless one has a family sometime in their lifetime!

or more than a bit of truth?
anyhoo.....I Do Not measure Up!

but is SUSPECT that most of the afterlife realms that are "nice" to live in, are "social group centered, and mostly around the family and the relatives. leaves me utterly out out out! i do not really understand or get along with any of my relatives and my mother and father are long gone to heaven.

---i wonder what heaven i will get accepted into, or is there a heaven for Lone Wolves?

Tuesday, October 23, 2001

well my aunt is not happy with me at all!
seems i "stood between the mama bear and her Cub"!
I wrote to her letters telling her what i thought about her daughter and her husband, ala the "bad divorce"! AND....mentioned to her husband/ex how maybe she had many "low spirits" around her that influenced her onwards to have more trouble and how maybe some of these spirits use her to drain life-force from husband and others around her. real life Vampires!

the static from the born-in-1925 aunt...comes from how she is a Real Devout Christian, in part.
"no talk of demons and the occult"!

but there is a much DEEPER problem!!
---she comes from the "i grew up in the great depression and the defense industry times of WW II and the years of 1940s" time periods!
then, you were supposed to
--as a healthy way to keep peace in the family, the town, the nation. we all were Fasists/nazi's then as the state/community/family came BEFORE the individual, in importance! the self came last, one's wants came last. thus anything disturbing was immediately boxed up and put way, with the key tossed out!
how ELSE were ya to live when you worked dawn to dusk seven days a week to keep food on the table for your five kids?! "self actualization" WAS to die of old age burn-out, at 50 years of age, after seeing your kids off to a better life!
so today, these elders are like of people, i see: as if in the football Game of Life, they tossed the football of retirement up into the air at an early age, repressing and denying all urges to Dance, for the sake of everyone around them, putting their Dancing shoes up into the attic in boxes sealed, and went off to Work, as they began to run down the field from the 10 yard line. then 40+ years later, not only did they find that the ball, upon coming back down, at the 80 yard line, at the near-end of the Game, after that Great find that this ball is now DEFLATED...they all found that the Coach Changed all the Game Rules, in the middle of the Play!! NOW it is OK to Dance!
Final Insult: they are paying for all the welfare people to dance the dance that they could not, as these welfare people are not working dawn to dusk, collecting welfare instead from the government---money that came out of THEIR pockets while they worked so hard.....they are dancing with their money!

no wonder SO many of the older generation likes that movie that is seen at every christmass...."It is a wonderfull life"
the real town that inspired this movie...Seneca Falls, new York, i read is in a great depression now, the near last industry has sold out as it is SO much cheaper to weave socks in central america...and the local rock station plays satanic music!

tis older generation now has to deal with so so so much change. the internet scares them...what they really want seems to be someone that they believe in, to tell them what to do and what to think!
just LOOK at a "average" 70 year old woman in a cafeteria trying to order food! she is utterly at sea without compass rudder or even a wheel! she "needs" some outer authourity to tell her what is good to eat, someone that she trusts. then let him or her dictate the foodchoices.

in the 1930s, if you had to live alone and to cook your own meals, that MEANT that you were not loved.
better to marry the town alcoholic, than no one, if that man were the only single man in town....if you were a woman.
better to work in the town LEAD refinery for life, if that were the only job around, even if you die of lead poisoning at 30...if your were a man!
the self-help book for 1948??
"the psychology of adjustment" of course: you adapted to THEM, you corrected yourself to become like everyone else. in that caferteria line, above: that little old lady IS greatly disturbed that you, behind her, are wearing Levi's! that affronts her very core belief system! undercuts HER! reduces her as a person.

my sister in the 1962 woman's Dorm: she had an IQ of 140. got her degree in three years. lived in the dorm. she never went to the 4pm "manditory" tea where the dorm mother and all the residents were to gather for tea and Schooling in "southern woman deportment". she had no use for such stuff.
For years there was a Black mark on her job records. she eventually found it out, after the freedom of information act came out: the dorm mother wrote her up for "a bad social attitude"!
in 1945...1955...even 1965, my sister cut THE Most important class of the whole southern college Experience!! the One Real class, she skipped! why? because most if not all the girls came to college in order to get married, and southern Deportment and bearing and How to have social graces....why that course was to help you attract a man! so if "1962" was still around today: my sister would have been an utter life-failure!

---and the Spiritual Irony is: that all of this self-denial generation made it possible for us all "new agers" to have a freer life!
why even a group of Wicca-people, in some Coven ceremony Circle, today; why the incense, clothes and candles may yet be made by some third world people who adhere to these 1950 values!
why even a new ager may owe all of their "dancings" to either some past's 1950 way of life----or to someone who lives that way today! someone has to make the books, Mexicanly harvest the food, make the cars.....etc..etc.

Monday, October 22, 2001

monday morning. Time to not ponder whether My Dreams of "death-by-next-year" will be overwrit or not by Spirit!
life IS! i live here. i live there, in the afterlife, after i die here. all is life.
thus it matters not, i will always live.

there are so so many mysteries to everything: how could one be bored?

why just now i decided to spend a moment to look at something on the Internet and my quick surfing led me to see a whole INDEX of online games, of online RPGs, no less...over two hundred of them!
some are text.
some are 2D or even the venerable everquest that also is so expensive.
whole worlds of interactivity.

here at "public computer world" these games are really off limits to me.

i found a site that is "java browser only"!
i tired it. yes it works, if i want to i can join up and actually play.

in my five minutes of exploration, the image that sticks to my mind is that Greater Overmap that shows all 500 players, all at once, on the main overmap. 500 Real people, all moving about, like a bit of a bird's eye view of a city street. each with a Mission, lifelike.
MORE stuff to explore!!

wanna try it?
the link is it seems to be free, right now!

Saturday, October 20, 2001

I am Amazed!

when i had that dream where the voice says that "I am wrong about my death-to-come", i Prayed to Spirit
to see if this dream was true or not and how was it so?!

over the last few days Intuitive answers come.....!!

In early 1998, i began to have a series of dreams that were clearly of a "death prepartory" nature!
not some "a spirit just saying so"...but real Heavy Duty Counsuls from Guides, apparently.
"late 1998".....seemed to be about the Time.

One evening, i had a STERN warningdream!
"your life force has run out, Freestone"......this Voice says. I knew enough about "life forces' to know that this was not having to do with vitamens or health: this had to do with the "allotted time" life force of the Incarnation.

the next morning...i took a long prayer walk out into the countryside, from my small hometown: on the way back i passed an aquantance's house; he had a bycycle out on the front lawn with a sign on it.
"FREE"------was the sign.
[my name is "freestone"...somehow i knew that this bike represented ME, in some way.] my friend came out and i asked him about that "good looking bycyvcle, how come you give it away as i looks very ok---a ten speed bike for free?!!"
he says..."it LOOKS ok! but i betcha you cannont get it around the block as the brakes are shot, the shift is ruined, the gears are bad, its life is over"!!


a few days later i came down with a cold.
then it went to my lungs. then it went to pnumonia!
Hooray for Modern medicine and the Vet hospital and Antibiotics!
after i got cured, i had another Big Dream. A GUIDE tells me that my life was helpfull to some of my relatives and that "You, Freestone, will be in prison in the future: don't worry, it will not be for long"!!!
when i awoke, i was Concerned, for me to be in jail would be utterly awfull: then the memory of that song..."oh Lord, relase me please from the Prison of the FLESH".....came to me. this prison dream was telling me that i would LIVE and not die, yet, for awhile!

I have lived beyond the "end", beyond the end of my life: perhaps as the world has been given a kind of "INDIAN SUMMER" of an extension, of grace....from earthchanges, perhaps i have been too!
thus perhaps ALL my death dreams that i am now having, if i believed them, they would go on for years and years if i lived that long as i have lived AFTER the end, thus those death dreams would always occur to me as that event is the NEXT big event in my life, whether it is a year away or ten years away or twenty years away!! In other words, the only mission that is "on my lifeQuest book, is to die and go that was suppossed to have already happened. thus all my dreams would refer to this as a "future immanent event"----whether in 5 years or 30!
A great relief, yes, but this ALSO means that there are no more Life Missions, nothing more to do!!
gotta think about this one!!
Here i am now upon the stage after the play has ended, my Final Line spoken and my final actions done.
the curtain has jammed, it cannot shut. the Prompter whispers that...."there is an hour left before you can leave that stage"! when i refer to the script-book, the last words on the last page hast been uttered: i have to throw that book away---useless.
no Guidance? do i utter "anything"---[hear the gasps of the Audience now!!]
even THAT!
stay tuned folks...........

Friday, October 19, 2001

there is a metaphor for a topic that i wrote of the other day, a metaphor that i wish to place here....on the topic of
"Some Wicca people feel that their wicca is modern, made up of new material and thus not connected to the 'old tradition'. this bothers them as they want the connections to the old ways to be real"!

a torando crosses a kansas field, for miles and miles, the Huge thunderstorm cloud above it must be surely 60,000 feet tall. the Tornado lifts, the funnel lifts off of the ground maybe several hundred feet, and spares the ground and maybe a barn from the winds. then a few miles further along, this funnel re-descends back to the ground and it continues its many mile journey across the Kansas fields.

---this is the metaphor that i have for this: the cloud is the tradition of the old shamanistic/Wicca/pagan
ways, of the pre-christian cultures, that exists in the world of Spirit. tis made up of the souls of the departed practitioners and belivers, of course. Then there are the Temples and the halls of Wisdom and Learning.
eternal: as long as there are Souls who follow the Way, these buildings, schools, temples....will be there.
Been there. maybe five thousand-plus years, of earthtime.

naturally, the "mere" removal of the earthly practicing of this tradition, does nothing to weaken the existance of the afterlife realms. Eventually, some of the souls of this realm re-incarnate to places where without the Tradition being actively practiced, and They Long for a vague "something"!
Then, the realm's Guides help set up the Way, again on the earth for them: it may be called by any name, and even be called "new" of the modern "wicca": but the roots ARE there and the roots stem from heaven...
The "tornado" retouches the ground: the re-connection is made again.
Names may be different: but the Guides may well be the very same guides as before.... the Knowledge is the same, as it comes from the same place as before.
so many rings, so many groups of people Connecting!

so little time to go to read them all!! seems i am so busy getting my site going that i have not read as many as i would like to!

I have now about ten accounts from other people who either channeled material about the trade center or else went out of body/soul travel to do something with the nearly arrived into the afterlife victims!
[see my link to my files to the left of this page]

I am also gathering channeled or Seen accounts of Coming Earthchanges, from other people, and placing them into my folder......accounts of Claivoyant Seeings into our Future.

have you any experiences of your own?!
i direct this question to anyone who comes here to read my weblog. if you would like to share them with
others by submitting them to me for consideration to place in the file.....please DO!

Thursday, October 18, 2001

took a nap yesterday and i heard a voice speak.

it said, more or less......
"you are in error about your death"!!

a voice.
a spirit speaks, as i read that often spirits speak as the person goes in and out of sleep.
a voice.
is the speaker telling the truth and does he even know what my Greater Life's Missions are, even if he means well?!
---and what does he say?

---that i am not to die soon?
---that i will die sooner?
---that i will live for years: forget about my Spirit-given Dreams of Great Import?
---or of some other unknown-to-me future that is so strange that i can not even concieve of of when i cross the mall parking lot a UFO will swoop down and bodily lift me off the tarmac and abduct me to their home planet for the rest of my physical life?!
naturally this chance of alien-abduction is about of a .000000000000000000000001% chance!

but in these strange times...who would have thought of RealVirus Mail, and Airplanes-AS-Bombs; six months ago?!!

I like that saying: "sign the peace treaty but keep your gunpowder dry and safely in storage"!
there will always be a "tomorrow" whether on this world or in the next: life is ongoing, so do not consider death as even being there!
so my Prayer to Spirit, this morning, is....

"Please, Spirit, If i am to die soon....please help me to get ready: and if I am not to anytime soon, due to Your Overwriting the Book-of-my-life, I Trust that you will provide a future for me....something for me to happily, creatively, do, as i continue to live here upon the earth".

----not much else i can do except to watch my dreams and read between the lines of my daily life to see if their are any SYCHNCRONISMS or SIGNS that are interlaced within my daily acts of livings, given by Spirit.

that is a whole rap in of itself: another post!
just like a painting or a mural can have "stuff" put in it that the painter did not intend to put there, due to the inspirational activities of Guides and Spirit, so that there are hidden messeges embedded within it: one's life has these embedded messeges too!

Wednesday, October 17, 2001

I have learned SO much about life from my heaven visions and from what i have read from Spirit Guides, in other people's writings....that i have a good feel for!

like of this:
where does the inspiration for the "New Religions" come from?



the modern form of Wicca, as i understand it, derives from several English groups of the 1800s or early 1900s: does not have "old roots" to the old Religions at all!
---and THAT has been a thorn in the side of many a Wicca person as there seems to be no connection to the Old Ways of Celtic/druidian Pagan paths, and to similar paths of the same Old Way traditions!
"no connection" infers that:

Silver Ravenwolf wrote, in 1998
"Wicca, as you practice it today,is a new relgion, barely 50 years old."

Charles Leland....
Gerald Gardner....
these, and other people, helped to found the Wicca movement as we know it today.
---and the critics say,"but Wicca is a new religion and is NOT connected to any real pagan tradition, from the real past traditions of pre-christianity"!
Makes some Craft people very uneasy....they feel that they are really not part of the Tradition at all!


from the afterlife and re-incarnational knowledge, i know better.

People have guides and angels. these guides were once living on earth long long ago...thus a modern Wicca person has a DIRECT inspirational link to Traditions from the real past through these spirit helpers and Guides who once lived the Craft, back in Celtic or Nordic/teutonic days! Even the Circles and groups have their teaching overguides. thus as the rituals evolve, in the modern Wicca, the actual rituals grow out of dreams and visions and inspirations, of the practitioners: these Given inspirations come from the guides in heaven who had lived these traditions from when they once lived on earth.
there is more!
these Pagan groups of the celts...druids....whatever; there WAS a counterpart Lodge and circles, in heaven, as the tradition was practiced for hundreds and hundreds of years, in whatever part of the world, you look at. in those hundred-plus years, there was developed a heavenly world where all of the Practitioners would go to after they died, to continue to live in the Wicca-way: and to become helper guides to yet more neophytes upon the earth, in their native land. thus after the earthly tradition died out, as like when christianity overswepted Ireland, beginning with St patrick, the heavenly counterpart, of course, did not die out! it remained. it remains. thus the guides would seek to revive the craft again, back down on earth, and these heavenly pratitioners, in their own spiritual growth-needs, would reincarnate on earth as "you or I", in these modern days, and might feel a feeling for the Craft we left behind, which still exists up there in heaven. Thus we seek and the Lodge in heaven Inspires, and here we are...under the Guise of something new....the old reappears.
there IS connection between the old crafts and the new, via the spirit and the afterlife. the rituals and herbs and the magicks may take new forms but the Inner Meanings are the same as the Inner meanings are all of the Ways of the old path, in heaven and on earth, connected! when Wicca people go home, they go home indeed, after they die!!

Tuesday, October 16, 2001

I am not very good at "politics"! I write very poorly when i write up anything political, i find!

i have deleted over three such political articles that i wrote here...already!

My sun sign is CANCER, with nearly all of my chart in water signs....
so what ever political stuff that i write AS there are no images in political thinkings, why i fixitate upon an image that is very *very* emotionally charged
[read: "whatever is upon someone else's hot button feelings, or else just what is in the air!!"]

thus i tend to pick up from the very atmosphere of people around me and then to fix an image and get very feeling about it and then it colors all of the writing that i do about it!

I know a "terrible secret"!
----that if i were to go to talk to someone and he gets real angry about something, or real depressed about something: he is RIGHT! utterly right, in his feelings and in his views!!
if he were NOT right, then he would not be so emotional about it! i agree with him, as he is right, and i feel his feel and can imagine how right he is------how can i not agree, with the truth?!

that is the problem....
HIS truth!

Take a homeless older "grocerycart" woman. I talk to her, one day, as she and i meet on the street.
she then begins to dump upon me some of her bitches.
----the hotel doorman keeps her from going inside and using the bathroom, on this rainy day!
---someone yelled at her from a passing car....about her need to "go home to husband and cook"!
---taxi splashed water on her from the street puddle, and the driver COULD have avoided it.

on and on for twenty minutes. then she comes to The Great Cartharsis: "aint life A-W-F-U-L-L" she
concludes, in a final burst of emotion.

she is right. every bitch is true. how can i not disagree?
for her, life IS a bitch, no doubt about it!

she is doing Real Magik, in her looping from the envirnment back through her self. somehow, i would imagine, she could change this by altering her own attiudes to life.

but GOLLY!
how can i write any political article when each and every political article is just one person's grasp on that
"elephant that 7 blind men touch and each one of them think that the whole elephant is only what he has been touching"?! all i can do is to agree with someone's window-slit view upon the world.

"ah"...i hear you saying......"what are YOUR own views, Freestone"?!
I might reply....."I just told you them! symbolized by all of my astrological planets in water signs...
a good photo film should only pick up from the envirnment what comes to it through the not so good if the film chooses to add colors to the photo on its own! thus my political feelings ARE what i pick up"!!
water should compline to the glass that holds it, should become one with the cup---do ya EVER ask the coffee server for coffee and have her pour it onto your table with no cup? Cancer. He CAN have water that stands by itself without that cup: it is called "ICE"! other people's cystalized thoughts----that is why the Cancer native likes the past: other people's thought out thought forms!

thus in a strange way, i am "100% opposite" most of the new age movement of "self actualzation" as I must have been LITMUS PAPER in my past life, agreeing with everyone's feelings that i meet.

Saturday, October 13, 2001

another visit to the Spirit lands last night in my dreams!

I went to Somewhere. tis a place i often go to and it seems to have some vibrational association with "southern Illinois" as i lived there once. tis the same place each time i visit, out of body.
last night i went "running" along a road, flying, actually, flying about head-height, along a road. at least one other person was running with me.
[i read that is one form of travel in the of a very fast running at six feet off the ground]
i went to a settlement of people where they all were going to DO something. the field next to this village was open to the sky, Hawks of immense size were in the air, off to the distance....there was a feeling of "space" in the air..."electric peace"...a feeling of expectancy.
all of the people, i knew not whether they ALL were residents or not: i feel that many were also "night visitors", like of me!......all of the people gathered at the base of a small hill, in the field, the field that reached to the horizon, and they got ready for to do something.

[now i have read and seen pictures of this which is to come. i knew that in heaven there were these: but this is the first time that i can REMEMBER being in one; i have been in them before, but this one event is the most vivid, of late.!]

all the people gathered in a ring about 80 feet in diameter, there were sometimes three or four people deep behind some people: a ring utterly open in the center, all holding hands and getting ready for some Sing or Ritual of some sort. Interesting....i stood very very close to being behind someone, as if i almost WERE that person! the event began: i immediately woke up!!

this happens a lot, the waking up JUST as the event begins. i have my suspicians as to why i woke up in this ring-sing. has to do with me being practically on the back of this large middle-aged lady, in front of me!
my guess: that i was a "bridge"! I BROUGHT, in some manner, this lady from her sleep, a "fetcher" of a soul i was, so that SHE could experience this sing-festival! Spirit used me to fetch her to this event, as i have seen this process before, with me: in this case the lady was almost able to do it on her own and my counsciouness added to hers made it possible for her to be there. once she was there, i was not needed anymore. but why was i not also there to enjoy it??
because if i were, it would not BE her experience!! my counsciousness was SO blended with hers that
her own experience would be overwrote by my presence! be like getting a cup of coffee to get ya up in the morning: but if you drank ten cups of that coffee per hour from then on, that coffee would "arc out"
your day! color it!
my presence AS her, at the sing, would end up adding my ego-loops to her subcounsciousness and COLOR her experience!
this is why i ferry many many many people to see Sai baba and masters and events like this: but never never get to experience even ONE of them, in my memories of over 100 such events!
Tis a "spiritual honor" to be a Enfranchised Ferryman: not my Calling to be there for it! i have 1,000,000+
years, soon enough, to go to any one of these that i want to: NOW, here on earth, my WORK must be done!
[I seem to dwell on this point a lot in this post: but i only saw this AS i was writing it out! now i know why i never never see that Master or sing with the people! this is why people keep journals: to help them think out what has happened to them in that day's entry. thus my weblog helps me almost more than as it would communicate to someone of my experiences!]

now i sense a meaning of that word..."Spiritual SACRIFICE"! or...what is meant by the word,"sacrifice"
not merely giving of money or time to someone or something, giving up food or i would sacrifice any experiencing of the events that i help Spirit fetching, carrying, souls-from-their-sleep, to.
my role would be to add my awareness to "prime their pumps" like of a cup of coffee so that they are
awake IN their dreams, at the event, so that they can begin to experience it: then i leave....the sacrifice is where i leave so that this experience will be THEIRS, not both of us together where some of my value-system judgements do not bleed into the fetched person's awareness and COLOR their experience with my subcounscious "stuff"! thus by leaving, i give to them their own experience! I defer experiencing such "spiritual celebrations" until after i die, or even far far later, as my Role may still be needed even after i arrive and live there...fetching souls from earth! may be far far up in the levels of heaven before i ever get to do one of these FOR ME!
like that man of the Movie..."the last picture show"...where he enables all of the young kids to go off to the big cities to Do their Dreams: but he himself will never never leave the town, and will die there of old age!

Friday, October 12, 2001

Rescue dream last night!

I awoke to find my self on what looked like a vast plowed field, of grey dirt that looked plowed under, done a while ago and barren of any plant. there was a man standing in front of me and i could see that there was fog all around as if there was a small circle about 50 feet across where there was no fog: just him and I, in a circle of clearness surrounded by fog, where the dirt ground was plowed.
I said "hello" and he half-awakedly replied back to me. i then recalled, in the dream, that i was sent here by a group of people for some reason, a reason having to do with this man on the field. some counseling group somewhere were concerned about his welfare, that he was lost in some way...My "higher self" knows much much more than even my dream to what was going on here.
we talked. chit chat. small talk, avoiding some issue, he was.
i tried to talk around this avoidance, this uncomfortable-ness.....but then i went directly to this point!
i said...
i said, then, "do you remember where you were before you found yourself here on this barren garden?"!

I said..."do you recall that hospital you were in?"!

THEN he began to remember! he told that he was a cancer patient in a "finial care" ward, dying of some internal organ cancer, that was his last memories.

I eventually convinced him that he was "dead", that now he needed to "go onwards" into the real heaven, away from this barren halfway place!

I pointed out to him that now the rescue wagon can come to pick him up...."and, HEY, fellow---look behind you: HERE it comes"----i told him!
Behind him the fog was lifting, to show a what looked like to be a 1890 farm covered wagon, not the "pioneer kind", but the "town wagon" that is horse-pulled and seats about four or six people. this wagon was coming towards him, was not pulled by horses, it came by its own power.
I said to this person...."the wagon comes to pick up the heaven-bound souls from the waiting area, usually there are one or four relatives along with the comes for YOU now and you now will go with them into the heavens where your people are waiting for you"!
there was the driver and one other person in the seats. i saw him off.

yes, used by Spirit for a "rescue" of a disorintated newly-arrived soul, into heaven!

Thursday, October 11, 2001

quiet today. into games, computer games.

I try to look at the "page 23" in the newspapers; the real news is not on page one or even two: it is on some back page in a small column next to the tire ad!
-----the inner secrets of What Is Going On!!

the article about "honey"....i will try in a day or two to write about it!

Wednesday, October 10, 2001

reply from the guy who has the bad divorce with aunt's daughter. divorce still pending...
he calls her an utterly evil person.

reminds me.
that lady on the bus last year, i rode near her near every morning for maybe six months, five miles of a trip each day. usually she was sitting with her friend and spending the whole of the five miles bitching about her EX and her daughter with the visiting rights and all of that. divorce was maybe four years ago, but they really cannot separate; the Girl glues them together like two enimies falling with parachutes from 80,000 feet where they get stuck together as they fall, a-kicking and squalling at each other!
To hear her speak, they are much much closer together in HATE than they ever were in love!

I am beginning to see now how terrible this is...why i betcha that for every one person who shoots his/her "ex", there are 100 who could if they only could get through the "resistance fear"!!

took 800 years for the scotish clan wars to burn out....i read!

I can read that this guy has lots and lots of anger between his lines: MUCH anger. Justified?
no way to tell, i am 1200 miles away! takes two to tango, they say...

they only way out of these divorce-snits, probably, is to rise above them, in that there must be some Vantage-point where they whole picture can be seen and sensed, including the past life relations of the couple in question. i am not a divorce counselor: but i would imagine that it would be very very hard to counsul a couple without Spirit being part of the picture!

reminds me of a 1970 hometown minister and his church! 1st baptist church of Interlaken. beloved rev Black. eventually he attended a junior college where he took counseling courses. soon, he told a couple to "go ahead and get their divorce". that church kicked him out SO fast!! then they got a minister that
"ben Labined" everyone, to everyone's relief: no dancing, no card playing, no dice games, no movies, no tv.!
I do not DO church, myself. not only is the air in the room so full of perfume and colognes, for my damaged lungs to handle, why i am
a "free radical" of a molocule!! that a single atom of oxygen, that wants to oxidize with any other molocule.
i am single. dangerious to have a single man in church! that is like putting a second rooster into a ten-chicken, one-rooster, henhouse!!! all those cobbled-together-by-jesus marrages...are so THAT unstable that any singleman who attends, he will upset everyone so! that is why i often, in the past, when i attended church; i felt like the congregation was like of a fat person sitting on a trap door into the celler basement, a-holding that door shut with his weight, as all the "stuff" below that is so repressed, fights to rise up through the door!

Jesus-as-SealPaint! ---that sealer compound that is put on a surface, like tar on a driveway, to seal the cracks and gloss over the imperfections so that, while they are still there, no one else can see them and the owner can put them out of mind.
---no WONDER jesus gets a "puke-reaction" from so so so many people when i mention his name!
they have been very well burned, in some church, when younger! i blame them not: the Church has utterly lost connections with several modern generations now, i feel. nothing to offer them but a list of "no no no no"! somewhere under all that, there is a Real Jesus, but that reminds me of my rural ny high school friend getting ready to paint a doorframe in his 130 year old farmhose: was interesting to look at where he dug into the old paint on the doorframe....there was layers and layers of old paint, maybe 40 to 50 in all, one could do a "archological dig" through these layers to see what kind of paint was used back in 1890...1867! somewhere the real WOOD would appear, when he scraped long enough.
thus there is SO much layer of "church" over jesus, that He is hard to find!

Tuesday, October 09, 2001

I am getting all of This Together!!

somehow that letter i wrote to this guy yesterday triggered a sensing of How I Stand, i religion and the trade center!
[see previous post for that letter!]

I am getting a kind of "personal Manifesto" going here......getting time to take a stand on this all, after WTC!

actually it was his reply to me that Set Me Off!
he mailed to me a link, to check out and it was a Consume-ing Christian site of prostilization and all sorts of tie-ins to commercial Xian sites and "will you please link up so that we all can send send send to you stuff daily"!!

puts me in a Place i do not really like!
why yesterday i posted something that i did not like and i deleted it!!

my "manifesto".......

I am not like in MANY camps! i can say that Jesus is real and Christianity is valid: but also that all other paths are too! that deeply offends the Christians though. how can i like, say, WICCA, and still say that Jesus is A messiah?! the christians do not like that: neither would some Wicca people for having me say that Jesus is real!!! thus everyone throws stones at me!

but for me it is simple!
there are [WERE] two heavens. the spirit heaven and the Celestial Spirit heaven.
in that song "THE STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN"...there are two paths, two stairs, to two heavens and one leads to hell, the spirit heaven and one leads to the christain heaven of Salvation....that is the inference i read from this song.
not my take.
from my visions and dreams, i say and postulate a terrible Heresy to everyone who is dogmatic!
which is....
that these two heavens are the same! now the same starting NOW, whereas they were separate, before now!!

I do not mean that there is one place with two names though! BEFORE now, before the pices age ended, the two fish represent to me that...
think of a parfet pudding, or oil on water in a glass, where there are two levels of liquid that do not mix. the celestial heaven oil is on top of the spirit heaven water. never touch never intermingle. Jesus says for the pices age that a person, if not having that second celestial heaven in their heart while here on earth, cannot go to the second heaven after death and must stay only in that first Spirit heaven...not suviving the "second death"! only those "saved' can go onwards. thus the spirit world would become "hell" for those unable to go onwards.
the age of Aquarious is here. the water is poured from one cup into another and back and forth between them. NOW these two heavens are in the same room, in the same vibration. it is MORE, even, than if the two liquids are homoginized, in that cup so that the two liquids are mixed: it is as if the two liquids are both water-based liquids, so that the mixing is utter and complete!
the celestial is now down to the bottom of the spirit world, in vibrations, and the spirit world goes up to the top....
heaven and hell are now the same place!!
one heaven under all, for all.....for each of us.
and it is up to EACH person to use and to learn from both worlds! the highest high to lowest low are in the same place and it will be up to each one of us, in our afterlife lives, to sythethise.

read: "the internet and the modern world" but 1,000,000 times more richer in possibilities!!

thus, from NOW on, i feel, our "salvation", after we die, will be in our individual hands as anything and everything of choice and possibility will be there for us!
No wonder Ben Laden and his people want to remove this reality from this plane!!
the worst nightmare of a "one way only" religion, is to find that "all ways" are permitted!!
thus i see xian fundamentalists to be of the same cut of cloth as the Muslim franatics!

the utter heresy continues: i feel that the very fabric of the laws of heaven has changed behind all of the
religious scholars backs! 2000 years of heavenlaws are now VOID!
tis Aquarious now, not Pices. heaven and hell are one, the celestial and the spirit heavens are united!
Jesus or Sai baba or Mohammed does not rule there, anymore.
YOU do, I do!
yes Jesus and sai baba and mohammed and Wiccapath ARE: but it is up to the individual soul
to choose, according to one's soul vibrations and free will choices, to choose from what feels best at that point of "time" in the soul intrests and developments of its progressions.
"salvation" will be internal, from within, and not from some "outer teacher"!

THAT is the final judgement. we will each judge ourselves as to what we like and gravitate to that interest location[s], in the heaven worlds, after we die. personal growth will become greatly grreatly accelerated, as much as we each can handle: no dead ends here! no wrong choices either, and we each will see that ANYTHING that we did on earth can be turned to good use in heaven, thus there are no failures or wrong paths/choices, here now on earth, for us!

well enough now, on my "manifesto"! my poor writing does not do it justice, i fear: but it is a start!

Monday, October 08, 2001

letter to someone who i do not know very well, about his Bad Divorce!
He asked my for feedback as to why things were not working: i hardly know him, but he asked for my is part of my answer to him!

my parents had some of this, this conflict. i am going to "third person" this, as I know NOTHING about you from 1200 miles away.
many men in our American culture have been raised up to be "damaged". no one's fault: tis just how many men are raised, especially in the NE part of the country.
they are not taught how to FEEL! thus they end up marrying a woman that corresponds to someone that is there for them to have her do the feeling FOR him!
thus he loops his needs for to have himself accept his own feelings through her as he cannot accept for himself that he feels or even how to feel.
NOW...the wife has feelings of her own, her soul has a whole different feel quality to it, thus she, when faced with his feelings, she will have different takes on what he throws out. she has her own feelings about what he says.
he finds that she is not him!! he wanted a perfect loop: that she is 100% with him in everything of feelings. yes, to find out that the wife you marry is not a mirror: that she has an independant existance....that must be a primal shock!
Say, for example, that he feels a certain way about being on a boat out on the water, he may have trouble acknowledging this back to himself so he uses his wife to loop: he wants HER to feel in exactly the utterly very same way!
aha! she does not! she feels, perhaps, great soul feelings for the open spaces of the land, the fields, and has a whole different feel-judgement for waterboating! oh he is SO HURT! primal shock occurs:
he finds that she is not him, not ONE in soul! he reacts...gets angry! his need is denied! lashes out at her.
this is the Person that often latches onto a "friend" and talks and unburdens himself to this friend for hours and hours each and every day till this friend shuts the door on him as he now is a pest, even taking out the phone as this guy calls ten times a day now!
the Person blames it all on the friend, naturally!
blames the friend for not "being sensitive to my needs!" but this person only uses this friend to loop his own feelings through, and oh boy...there sure are a LOT of feelings that needs every single bit of this friends time, even to the point where this Person needs to move in with the friend to be one with him each and every moment of the day and he really really gets angry if even this freind has a .0005% difference of feeling than this Person!! cannot understand that this friend actually has a life of his own: five minutes of his friend's time for him to brush his teeth, equals..."rejection and denial" as "teeth brushing" is a kind of ignoring the NEEDS of that needyperson!

Look at the owner's manual...the Bible!
"many mansions are there in heaven"
"i Build you a house in heaven a place in heaven"
---a house, not a COMMUNE! Individuality holds in heaven...that "heavenly Choir" would sure be dull if everyone sang only the very same note!

basicly, then, this Person has problems handling the
idea that we each is an individual. he might say..."I would belive in Miricles if only YOU would believe in miricles"! I, myself, can Imagine that Primal shock: that the other person is not him!!

so, i may suggest that you try to deal with that childhood Programming where you were not taught how to accept your own feelings and your own self! maybe she cannot really help you as perhaps you were attracted to her to marry her as she DOES feel the same as you, with many things: ah, but not in ALL things! THAT is where the fights and problems begin! may be hard to accept that she has a individual soul, a need to not "be you"!
in things that she is "different' on, there may be a tendency to blame her for the differences of this oneness of soul, to blame her if she has contrary feelings to something that you hold precious.
YOU may love to hunt and kill Deer: but she feels motherly towards deer, in the hunting blame her for not loving to hunt as you really cannot accept you love for hunting unless SHE DOES!!
my "five cents of advice"!
i would imagine, too, IF this observation holds for you, if i am a little right in my observations...i would make a guess: that you have, in the past, been called a "pest", by some of your friends as you would
go see them a LOT and dump all of your Pains out onto them...endlessly, for hours and hours and for days and days!!
RX...for healing?!
you say you are saved in Jesus. there.
that is it, use HIM as your loop! have Jesus as you best friend, counselor, and soul-mate!
accept that one can only be of spiritual use for the Wine of the Holy Spirit, if your CUP is in good repair!
takes a cup to hold that wine! the cup of ego, of self, of soul, of Individuality.
how can ya love someone else unless you first love yourself? so accept that only you can feel your feels: no one else can ever ever really sit in your chair except the One that is in your heart...your soul and

Saturday, October 06, 2001

oh what kids can do!!

article in the Tallahassee Democrat this am.
next door county seat town has a library building and there is a MURAL painted in the children's
section. this here mural shows the trade center with THE airplane about to hit one of the towers and there are people jumping out of windows and falling out of windows and there is a "red Devil with a pitchfork"
standing somewhere near by on the ground.



this has caused a small commotion in the community of Quincy, florida!

my take?
this county has one of the highest concentatration of blacks in florida if not the south. this, i say this, is because the "balck race' is more "spiritual" in the old time religion sense. especially in things of the uncounscious stuff....
they would have something like of this: in the deep deep south, a group of school kids pick up on a shadow that casts backwards, in time, from an Event that is cast "in concrete", in Spirit, long long before this country was ever 1776 started, i feel: this wtc would be one of the national 'cirriculum setpoints" of our collective experiences.
yes, this event surely will be found to be in many murals and sayings of children...why there was that story about the boy in Texas that TOLD everyone, a week before, that this would happen.

mystery mystery....
oh life is so mysterious. i wish more people would sense that, as i walk amoungst the walking wounded: hell on earth is a mall food court at 3 PM!!! there are always several men who sit around who are depressed depressed! i wish i could say something to these people: they would not understand, and i could be dragged down with the drowning person!
ah well, i pray......

Friday, October 05, 2001

I had a very interesting dream the other night!

very short. A Guide opened a book and i saw him turn the pages, i only saw the outlines of what he wanted to aquaint me with. The book was a "book in heaven", a spiritual text for people in heaven to read, apparently!

The book was made up of small chapters with a diagram or picture at each of the Headings of each chapter and each chapter may have only been a page or two.


---the Sequence of the Qualities of Souls! Perhaps the progression of souls. a "species book" of the types of Souls.

the first chapters were about the animals, their souls. then it began the descriptions of each of the types
of human souls, from the very YOUNGEST to the OLDEST.
As if there were some heavenly way to tell how old a soul was, in its progression, its spiritual growth.
[the more spiritual growth a soul has done, in its lives on earth: the older it is]

actually, this book delt with the OVERSOUL, the soul that incarnates that series of lives on earth, where each incarnation has a "soul". thus this oversoul, is the soul of each incarnational soul.
thus, if, say, i lived 100 past lives on earth, my oversoul would be that "central soul" that is that soul of all of these Incarnations: this book was of a kind of "species book", showing the different kinds of oversouls, ranked by age, from youngest to oldest. there was no apparent description, that i could read, as to how a oversoul would progress from one level of soul-type to a next level. i only saw the pictures, probably this information is in the text!
I was very Intrigued about the LAST life in the series, the last soul-stage. this was the last picture before the final page, which showed that the next and last stage was Union with God: white more Form, even a subtle soul-form...thus no more incarnations EVEN DOWN INTO THE CELESTIAL HEAVENS, from the God-levels, is possible, once the oversoul unions with God!! there is no more soul from this point on!
the last oversoul picture...shows that FIVE oversouls get to form the matrix for a earthly incarnation's soul: the AVATAR, probably...the "Second Coming" of the Christ, perhaps!!

I thought a bit about this dream, all of the next day. On the bus, two homeless guys got on and sat down near the alcoholic who got on at the mall. this alkie, i felt, had a somewhat older oversoul than the two homeless guys, but his incarnational soul was a bit ruined by his life-centered-around-drink! Oh what a sad depressing look on his face! a life-long crying jag, in slow motion, as if he bawled slowly slowly, in a tone so slow that i can not be heard!
[take a tape of music and slow the playbackspeed way way down: the music not only gets real slow, but the tone gets deeper towards the base notes. eventually, if slowed enough, the music can not even be heard.] THIS was the nature of this alkie's crying session! life long, in slow slow motion: in his world the sun NEVER shines!
He got off at the Hard Liquor Store...only whiskey, gin, or Vodka, maybe, can now dull his Pain!

the two homeless guys were left. i noted how "putty-like" were their faces! no one home. everything in their souls seemed to be down at the base of their Chackras: survival and sex, but in a kind of "asleepness".
i suspect souls of this soul-age would thrive best if the civilization around them was "older" in soul than they AND this civilization was given Power over people, in a Fashist manner where the individual was deemed less less important than the society! read: the Mayan Indian city-state, where each and every personal function was dictated by the culture and the culture was set up by the Gods, channeled though the priests!
In this culture, and in similar cultures, the society/civilization evolved the individuals.
a good SCAFFOLD for young souls to evolve by, a good trellis for the rose plant to climb up into the sunlight upon.

in a culture where the Individuals are OLDER in soul than the culture, and the old souls in this culture are active in "taking the old fossilized-in-the-past, culture, that remains from the past, APART".....the very young souls are litterally like a boat with out a Compass, rudder, or even a wheel!!

when the old souls take the snake-skin of an culture, off, in order to individually grow to the next soul-stage, the younger souls amogst them Suffer, as they can not vibrate to that octave of high level soul, yet, as they are still in a younger "grade" of soul-evolution. thus what scaffolding that WAS there for them, is removed by all of the old souls, as these old souls have outgrown it.
[seen on a 1994 Ithaca car bumper, an old sticker from some old Campaign..."GET those Christmas Carols OUT of our Schools"!]
[comment by a New york city teacher, 1995:...."how CAN i possibly teach the Christmas tradition to my
classroom kids?! I have 30 kids and EACH one of them come from a different country and from a different culture? WHATEVER i would teach them, or do with them, about Christmas, would be DEEPLY offensive to some of them!"]
no map, anyway, no one to Guide them, the very young souls, in our culture, today!
----the rose plant spawls upon the ground: no trellis to climb upon.
so if these two homeless guys had a terrible childhood, where even THAT type of "trellis" is not there for them, why they litterally fall through the cracks of our society and Homeless Shelter is where they end up in!!
they would have to find a "trellis" and climb it! give up what little "individuality" that they have and slaviously "identify" with some "trellis", and let this "older in soul than they" trellis, evolve them upwards!
a Christian Fundamentalist cult, perhaps. the army. Sun-Moon sect. Alcoholics Anominoious, perhaps.
I think that ANY Cult would do!
even "THAT" one, the One that irks you the most! pure gold for very young souls....Training Wheels on the bycycle ARE necessary, for some, even IF you do not need them! the only "sin" about Cults is
when one still insists upon the training wheels after one outgrows them!

Thursday, October 04, 2001

That was an Interesting submission to me, about the WTC!
[my aquaintance e-mails to me every channeled article about the wtc that she can find]
buried in this today's article was where the Guide speaks, through his medium, about a Hopi Indian prophecy, where when two stone towers that stand right next to each other...touch or fall together, the BEGINNING of the earthchanges and end times will have now begun!!
[this is in my file...the link to the left....]

Interesting! I never have heard of this Hopi prophecy. my Aquaintance tells me that this Guide
has a Hopi background, as well as the medium having a great interest in Hopi life.

there are 111 days between the event and the end of the year. my take on this is that those 111 days is a kind of "test" or grace period, where we all have our last chances to finish up our lives....make amends, sing our swan songs...learn to love and to forgive...let go or grab onto: depending upon one's Life Path!...and to Get Right With Spirit! Some of us will Go Home to visit the relatives and Reclaim their past. others will finish up the Doctor's Dissertation. Some people will become family centered. Others, yet, will Take Stock of their lives.

Too, how we all collectively handle this period of Mourning, how we all deal with the wtc and the political/war aftermath, during these 111 days: how we all handle it all will maybe affect just how and "how bad" the "earthchanges will be, in the months and years ahead!

read: "a test", as well as a "grace period"!!

I have seen many many auto accidents here in Tallahassee, during the last few days: probably the full harvest moon has something to do with it, but golly, the stress Level of all of us is SO high these days. it is as if we all are riding a surfboard atop of a six-foot wave, the wave being the WTC, where we all are six feet more into Stress, than we all we before this event!!
Probably 50 volcanoes will NOT go off on January 2nd of 2002, folks....but if my intuition is aright: from that time onwards, things will begin to REALLY get wierd and the politics and the geology, after early 2002!

Wednesday, October 03, 2001

here is a letter that i just wrote to blogger's pyra group.

yes i thank you all....Ev and others: now my weblog is working ok.

ya know, with that bankrupty of the service provider
and the problem of the slow net ecomony, i fear for blogger's life sometimes!
would be ashame to see it die some day!
blogger just can not die!
it is the real internet, the internet that is not commercial and all graphicated up with promos and hype! this is like the very beginnings of the net where there were bullitan boards where people would post their stuff into!
thousands and thousands of weblogs, real people and real pain and real-er joy: all shared and all read.

look at what the logs did with the world trade center!
the real news. the inside news, the news from people who were there in it and survived! even the afterlife victim's ascent to heaven is detailed in one weblog [mine]!!
news you cannot get on CNN or even the tv. or papers.
the communicated sharings and healings...are so important to the writers and the readers.
so if someday there are few providers of service, i would hope and pray that some company with deep pockets wants to do a real good public service and keep you all ALIVE!
if there is a REAL depression or a real WAR...the survival of the weblogs will be even the more more important!

--you may print and quote this in any column that you all want to....freestone f wilson

---the other day in the paper there was an advertisement that pushed me over the edge!
it said, more or less....covering the whole sheet of one side of the doublepage paper!

"Do a Patriotic act for your country!
buy your car at zero percent interest at ......Dealership"!

on the radio i even can sense that the very tone of the car-ads have become even the keener, even the more strident.
the sound of claws of rats that are on the outside of the upsidedown hull of the sinking ship as this ship begins to slip beneath the waves even the more faster!

they are linking the very economic salvation our our country to PURCHASE...consume consume!

but i suppose this is a healthy thing; cutting of the drug supply to the Addict!
why if this here boom were to have continued for another ten years, the cars will all be built upon bus bodies, 30 feet long, and the new-built house will each be an acre in size.

native american saying: "white man build fire ten feet high, and they stand twenty feet back from it...we build a fire six inches high and get right up next to it...we are just as warm"!!

sea change.
I saw a sea change, about ten years ago...
in the 1960s, and before, why there were books that had titles like..."make your car last 200,000 miles".
my sea change seeing, was on one fine day, from a window of a tallahassee coffee shop, i noted that in the parking lot that there was not a single old car, not a single car of character from ten years before!
From then on...1990 or so...the only old cars that i see is maybe a restored Beetle: even the very very poor people have that brand new car. "easy credit" i guess, in in age where no one can even now repair a car even if he wanted to!
new clothes too!
only the homeless have no car and raggy clothes.

Something Is Very very Wrong! does not take a "prophet" to see the handwriting on the wall, for to see "something is gonna happen"!

why this terrible terrible IRONY of my idea, here, is....that if someone were to actually suggest that, in our Hour of Mournings"...that we all should just stay home for Christmas and have a quiet celebration with gift-exchanges of nothing that is BOUGHT with $$$$---and this idea were to become popular so that everyone in our country would do it, for this year's holiday season: this would do far far far more damage
to our national economy than TWENTY more terrorist attacks could ever do, as 60 to 80 percent of our economy is xmas-driven! Healing the patient may very well kill him!!
how horrible!
as if our very national health depends upon our Comsumpson ethic, our great materialism!
that if we all stop comsuming, there will be a Great Depression where no one will work and no one will even be able to buy food! Grey days of streets full of homeless people at breadlines....all of us!!

Tuesday, October 02, 2001

I am amazed at those papers! It goes on and on and on: the "duracell bunny" lives....the WTC articles.
most of every paper, now, is filled with the aftereffects: America IS in collective Mourning!
I can well imagine how all of this "mourning" can create a huge collective thought-form of feeling charged soul-filled images. A mountain of this, a large large "stone dropped into the Waters, the ripples go out and out and out"....

out backwards in time.

psychics and sensitives may well pick it up, years ago: psychic hobbiests could well research people's
recorded dreams from even up to 100 years ago to see how the backwards-in-time ripples create, perhaps, dreams of premonition of the WTC!

I once live in a student filled college town where a serial killer killed five students. 1990.
a month later, i had a dream. I was in a room filled with a dozen people and someone told me they all knew who was this killer that the police had yet to find.
"timothey McVeigh" was the killer's name.
months later they found the man and he had a name quite unlike that name.
years later there was that Oklahoma Bombing...and WHO was the man??!
what was the year?
1995? was years later after 1990.
that shock wave of that 250-odd victim bombing, went back and "corrupted" the seeing of the
serial killer event of 1990! that ripple overwhelmed it.
[probably THAT was set up in advance too...the Oklahoma bombing!]

NOW i can see why my dreams had spoken to me that i "am" to die within a year!!
as of 1920 or 1930, or so, before i was born and while i was with my Angelic counselors, a-setting up my life-to-come, upon the earth: the probablility of a major major WWIII must have been very great!
But in the 40 or so years since 1940, the awareness of us all may now be higher, so higher that this war may not occur. Thus, now, I may be like that violin soloist, at the receital, that had a "five minute solo" alotted to him, and after he finishes it, he find that there is three more minutes that he has upon the stage: NOW WHAT? all of his music has been played. does he stand there mute? Improvise? run off the stage?
I may live. after all. a living testamony to our "raised counsciouness" of the last 60 years.
or maybe not!! the war may yet occur. or the Lord may choose to end the Drama via the "earthchanges"!
or give to me my own personal Rapture: a heart attack or accident!

I, if i live, may go back to my hometown of 600 people. or maybe not: stay tuned. even if i do and i do not have a computer, i will try to get to a public library once in a while just to keep this weblog alive!
i have maybe nine months to Choose...or to find out what Spirit has in store for me....probably by June of 2002, i will Know!
----and that is one of the purposes of having a journal!

Monday, October 01, 2001

more astral travel dreams......

to a not nice cityplace, a world that must be on a low low place, in the afterworlds: i do not want to even dwell upon it much!
a cityplace of slums. ruined near-abandoned buildings.
a place where anyone on the streets alone is killed by roaming groups of men just because the person is THERE! Tribal. stone age. all order and rule gone.
there must be a LOT of collective PAIN in the USA right I pick up the stuff from the collective very easy...i wonder how many other people are having Disturbing Dreams now.

what a counterpoint to this, my experiences during the many many other dreams over the years....
why there was a whole group of these expereices where i, blessed be, went out of body to participate in what seems to be groups of women-only, ten to fifteen ladies gathering in someone's home for some Ritual or other, a ritual of magic and Summonings....
There was one where a member was Inituated into a order.....
these seemed to have a feel of where the ladies had a community. two places, a small town countryside in Wisconson and a place in rural North carolina.
Wicca, more than probably.
One can go to a meeting even in one's sleep!