Sunday, September 30, 2001

A "runthrough" of someone who maybe died in the WTC!

well, folks, if anyone reads this......
I sometimes have a rather strange dream experience, where i use a person's images as if I WERE that person.
Last night, i "used" the images of someone who died, and followed his time AFTER he died!

--------dream begins....

I awake to the reality that I am under a huge pile of rubble. crushed, in fact: really really crushed!
I come awake and realize that i have been in a "half awake" state for some time now, after i have died. i know i am dead. I also know that it were, when i was only partially counscious, that some "messeges" were sent to me from somewhere.
these messeges told me that my earthly body was crushed to the point of looking like a pile of french fries, and that i "insisted" in trying to maintain a kind of contact with a pile of "meat-mush" that was my body and that i could somehow IMAGINE that i have a intact body and then leave that attachment to that pile of rotting meat.
I could breathe, even though i sensed that there was only solid rubble above my mouth---i dimly became aware that breathing was not anymore neccessary, now!
Alone. utterly alone. was this what the afterlife was like?! I am dead but i live: i cried out for someone to hear me even though my "lips" made no sound and that i have no lips to cry out with!
Then I noticed that off in the far left distance, in the blackness, was a ball or hole of light.
A woman in a white gown appeared, about a hundred feet away.....she said to me [ i could hear her ]
that..."we see you and we will get to you very shortly, you are NOT alone and you are dead but alive in spirit. you may later re-create your body-shape if you wish to; but you may also imagine your body to be a ball of light: best not to dwell upon the old body that is now only ruin, it being physical"'. You are loved and you are not alone and you will be able to come here with us to heaven"!

-----end of dream!

yes folks. maybe the wtc, one of the victims. maybe i was "used" as a healer, a rescuer of a soul, in that my counsciousness was ADDED to his in order to increase his enough so that he became more self-aware of his condition and to be able to ask for help from the Angel helpers, so that he too can join the wave of ascension, of the survivors, into the heaven made for them with the Christ. [ as one Seerer
had envisioned it, the group ascension; probably he saw ALL of them as if time was not, thus at all at once, but in earthly time, some ascend earlier than others and some need a bit of "aid"!]

in Spiritualism, it is called "rescue work", where i read that a living soul on earth, because he still lives: he can be a bridge for a early afterlife soul to become more aware as this newly dead is near the earthsphere yet and can be reached by the earthperson. thus becoming more aware, he can "self-examine" and realize he has died but still he lives and then to ask for help from the Angels who work for Spirit, just for this rescuing, from the Spirit side.
I have been used for this, before, this rescue work.
So I too, was part of the rescue efforts of the WTC! i humbly accept that. there may be more.....
A "runthrough" of someone who maybe died in the WTC!

well, folks, if anyone reads this......
I sometimes have a rather strange dream experience, where i use a person's images as if I WERE that person.
Last night, i "used" the images of someone who died, and followed his time AFTER he died!

--------dream begins....

I awake to the reality that I am under a huge pile of rubble. crushed, in fact: really really crushed!
I come awake and realize that i have been in a "half awake" state for some time now, after i have died. i know i am dead. I also know that it were, when i was only partially counscious, that some "messeges" were sent to me from somewhere.
these messeges told me that my earthly body was crushed to the point of looking like a pile of french fries, and that i "insisted" in trying to maintain a kind of contact with a pile of "meat-mush" that was my body and that i could somehow IMAGINE that i have a intact body and then leave that attachment to that pile of rotting meat.
I could breathe, even though i sensed that there was only solid rubble above my mouth---i dimly became aware that breathing was not anymore neccessary, now!
Alone. utterly alone. was this what the afterlife was like?! I am dead but i live: i cried out for someone to hear me even though my "lips" made no sound and that i have no lips to cry out with!
Then I noticed that off in the far left distance, in the blackness, was a ball or hole of light.
A woman in a white gown appeared, about a hundred feet away.....she said to me [ i could hear her ]
that..."we see you and we will get to you very shortly, you are NOT alone and you are dead but alive in spirit. you may later re-create your body-shape if you wish to; but you may also imagine your body to be a ball of light: best not to dwell upon the old body that is now only ruin, it being physical"'. You are loved and you are not alone and you will be able to come here with us to heaven"!

-----end of dream!

yes folks. maybe the wtc, one of the victims. maybe i was "used" as a healer, a rescuer of a soul, in that my counsciousness was ADDED to his in order to increase his enough so that he became more self-aware of his condition and to be able to ask for help from the Angel helpers, so that he too can join the wave of ascension, of the survivors, into the heaven made for them with the Christ. [ as one Seerer
had envisioned it, the group ascension; probably he saw ALL of them as if time was not, thus at all at once, but in earthly time, some ascend earlier than others and some need a bit of "aid"!]

in Spiritualism, it is called "rescue work", where i read that a living soul on earth, because he still lives: he can be a bridge for a early afterlife soul to become more aware as this newly dead is near the earthsphere yet and can be reached by the earthperson. thus becoming more aware, he can "self-examine" and realize he has died but still he lives and then to ask for help from the Angels who work for Spirit, just for this rescuing, from the Spirit side.
I have been used for this, before, this rescue work.
So I too, was part of the rescue efforts of the WTC! i humbly accept that. there may be more.....

Saturday, September 29, 2001

took me all of my saturday hour to set up this thing where i now can say that i have two more files on my archive site where i "collect" other people's channeled, inspired, dreamed, visioned, or intuitived
----perceptions of the world trade center event.
----earthchanges; recently received messeges concerning the earthchanges.

nice to collect them; they all are in one place for me to read later AND to invite you all to read too....
[see details in the post, below this one!]

I have seen some Omenious of Mt Ranier blowing up ! in a week or two or that time next year...."Red Elk" says....
Interesting times to live in....

I wish that all my work that i did may be of goodness for anyone that comes here to read......



During the last week or so, i have found from various places on the net, a number of articles that are
CHANNELED or Inspired, concerning the World Trade Center; especially
what is happening to the victims as they ascend into the spirit realms.

Too...there have been a recent Increase
of "earthchange" Predictions, from Spirit or Intuitions...dreams, of late, being put up on the net too....

I have decided, in my archive site
[can be gotten to from the link on the upper left]

to create two more Files:
---channeled/inspired Material about the WTC event.
---channeled/inspired material concerning the earthchanges or "Endtimes", that have come recently.
then you all can come to read them.
I already have three or four, in each file.

I invite you all to MAIL to me your Dream or Vision or Channelings.. or of any that you have read, from somewheres;
and I will consider putting them into the files for everbody else to read.

Yes, I sense that Something is afoot: Something Dangerous with the earth. why i read just yesterday in the "Guinessess's Book of records" that the normal numbers of "disaster events", of weather and earthchanges, is about 450 a year: the year 2000, last year[!!], was a record! there were 850 "events" last year, more than ever ever before!!



Friday, September 28, 2001

awfull dreams last night!

seems that i spent dreamhours and hours being with many people, in some low astral, low heavenly, place!
I do this a lot of late, visit places that seem somewhat "earthly" and somewhat in the afterlife. With people and seeing people that i just "know" that i have never seen before in my life!
---there was a building on fire, a bar or tavern. there was a homosexual liason, two black men rolling in sex-estacy, in bed! .....i saw a man in a car where the car sank beneath the water: I feeling that the water was quite deep, a hundred feet or so...i watched as he clawed in panic at the rolled up window as the car sank out of sight.
---images of places i have never seen or been to......

I suspect that these are images from "real" people, their images from their own souls. perhaps not "ordinary living people, who are also sleeping", perhaps they are people who are very recently dead and have just arrived in the lower heavens and are rummaging through their "basement/attic" of memories, the ones that are the MOST emotionally charged!
yes, maybe some people from the wtc. maybe even someone from that bridge that collapsed, there in Texas....the bridge to padre Island that was struck by the boat.

[ i have the Intuitive feeling that the WTC event and the Bridge incident are Linked, in spirit! not by terrorist, linked, but somehow these two events are interconnected in the spiritual realm, as having some Meaning for America at This Time in its History!
the bridge incident occured saturday, only several days apart from the WTC. Too, both occurred on ISLANDS, islands that are at the base of major and Housten!]

So i am probably doing a low level astral travel to their realms and experiencing with them, the newly deadarrived, some of their images of their life that are emotionally charged: probably involving their death!
maybe this helps them, in some spirit-fashion, as maybe MY inclusion, into their soul's life, being that i am "of earth", those memories of theirs can be ever the more accessable, to THEM; making to help them catharize and heal, and then be able to let go and go onwards to a higher plane of heaven!
Least i HOPE, and pray so!

Thursday, September 27, 2001

I went to a large magazine rack, at a mall bookstore, the other day. there were about 500 magazines.
This was about three days after WTC, and all of them were utterly irrelevant!
Time and or Newsweek or "people"....had something about fun and travel! there were cooking mags that had wine and entertainment and even a coverlike story about going to see the food-wonders of new york city!!
might as well be last years mags!!
from another Planet: from another reality, they were!

NOW today, i see the trickle begin! first the Time and Newsweek. soon the wtc events will pervade ALL of the mags! even the auto mags and the computergame mags will have "nuthin but"!

---really really brings home to me how everything in our world and in our lives are INTERCONNECTED!
a wine journal?? surely one might think there would be nothing in it about wtc.
there was an article about the Primer resturant at the top of the wtc that HAD 5,000 bottles of wine, there!

soon all of the monthly mags will have it.
then the goodness the books! probably 30 to 60 percent of all the books, within two years, will be "about' the wtc.
like a mycelium mold....will go through everything that we see or do.

the Movies...the tv shows...on and on and on.........
a large "superorganism", we all are: everything interconnected.
....and, a huge funeral, a huge wake....
shock...anger...healings...recoveries: the stages of grief!
I feel, in the Air, that the national mood is Mellowing!
somehow i have the impression that this here WTC event was a kind of "spiritual Test", and that we all
are Passing! there is much coming together and healings taking place, i feel.

these major events probably ARE set in stone, like i feel that this one was....
how we all respond to these events may well be up to us: "it could go any direction", depending upon our collective mood.
and our collective spiritual counsciousness, made up of our individual awarenesses: how weel do each of us handle and deal with this wtc!

I now have added a new folder to my "freestonefiles" site, in the "files" link, to the left of the homepage.

"THE WORLD TRADE CENTER ... other people's visions, channelings,
about the "how" and the "why"!"

In this folder will be articles that i have found on the web. They will be about Peoples own accounts of "spiritual" experiences of the WTC event, as seen from the higher dimensions, from the vantagepoint of Intuitions...channelings...Out of body experiences...Dreams...visions...etc.

does anyone who reads this, have any of their own, or know of anyone else's....that could be Shared.
If you mail them to me....
i will add them to this file for ALL to be able to read!!

Wednesday, September 26, 2001


I have found several Channeled and Spirit-given experiences about the WORLD TRADE CENTER

----what caused it.
----the inner workings of spirit and the victums and terrorists.
----the inside-from-spirit "news"

as experienced and/or recieved by psychics and mediums/channelers.

I copied some of these writings into a new folder, called
in my archive site that has its link to your left, near, but not, at the top of that sidebar. Go read them, if you want to...they are in the "files" section of my archive homepage.

on the list called "earthchanges"
[you can sign up, go to and do a search on the word "earthchanges"]
there was this here article, an article that says it all ,to me, about many things involved with the WTC!
so i put it here.

----- Original Message -----
Sent: Monday, September 24, 2001 6:44 PM

The following report from a channeler seems entirely consistent with many
other accounts that deal with the classic after-death experience -- for
example, as reported by Dannion Brinkley in his extraordinary book "Saved
by the Light." Brinkley had been a US Marine demolition expert and
assassin before being struck by lightning and pronounced clinically dead.
After his eventual recovery he reported that his "life review" included his
experiencing the actual agony of each of his victims -- and the grief of their
closest relatives. The report below is a similar account of the after-death
experiences of one of the WTC hijackers.

From: Sent: Wednesday, September 19, 2001 8:39 PM

Subject: * Channeled Communication with a Hijacker

Dear Friends,

I am a channel, and I channel the teachings of just one wise spirit being, by
my choice. Last night as I was lying in bed the thought occurred to me that
perhaps I could get in touch with one of the hijackers of the planes that flew
the horrendous missions on September 11th that caused so much
destruction and loss of innocent life. My thought was that perhaps I could
get information concerning who was behind the plot to do these heinous
acts. So I went into my relaxed detached state of mind that is conductive to
channeling with the intention of attempting that contact.

A presence came into my awareness. I knew that he was a hijacker. He
said that his name is Ahmed Amani (or something similar to that). He told
me he is in a very dark place. He said that he had expected to go to a
wonderful great celebration as a hero, but that was not what he has

I asked if there were other people or souls around. He said that there were
but that he was not able to make contact with any of them and that this
contact with me was the first he had been able to make with anyone. He
was not sure about whether the souls were aware of his presence and were
shunning him or whether they really could not see him and did not know that
he was there.

I asked him to describe the place he was in and he said it is very black and
completely colorless. There are gray shadowy forms that he can see and
sense. I asked if there was light anywhere (since I have read that lost souls
can move toward the light) and he said that there was none and he had
looked for light in all directions. I asked if he was outside and could see
stars or anything like that and he said that there were none and it was not
like being outside.

Then I understood and he discussed with me that he was having to undergo
the experience of the death and agony of every person that had been
affected by the actions and decisions that he had made. He said that the
events that began on September 11th still exist in what we know of as past
time and that he is required to go back into "earthly time" and experience
first hand, for each person individually, their death and/or agony, fear,
physical pain, etc. as though it were happening to himself. Not only that,
but he also must experience in the same way the grief and pain of everyone
who is a loved one of the people that died or were injured. This has been
communicated to him and it has begun. I asked him how many deaths he
has thus far experienced and he said just two and that it would take the
equivalent of many lifetimes to experience all that is ahead of him. He said it
is taking so long because the pain and grief of the families and others
connected to just these two individuals is so intense and it is ongoing, so he
cannot move on quickly.

I asked about his family and loved ones and if they understood what he is
going through. He told me that he had found that they were unable to do so
be cause they held the belief that he was a hero and that he was being
celebrated and that the truth could not penetrate through their beliefs.

I asked if there was any message he wanted me to take back to the world.
He said that he had been lied to and that he had wanted to believe the lies.
He said that to those who might be plotting or intending to do similar acts,
that he wanted them to realize that they are being lied to and that they will
not be celebrated as heroes as they have told to believe.

He also said that not only would he have to experience these deaths and
pain but that all those who assisted and plotted these acts would also. Even
those who were not a part of the plot but who celebrated the events that
caused all this misery for innocent people would be experiencing many of
the same things.

Except for when he talked about those that lied to him (and he felt or knew
that some had knowingly done so to advance their own purposes) his air
was one of resignation and disheartenment. I realized that I felt very sorry
for what he would have to go through and the realization that was dawning
on him, but that it was what he needed to experience to learn from.

I believe that he had the insight that this was not punishment per se, but
that it was a consequence of needing to learn the human consequences of
what he had done.

I left him and pondered this for a time and finally went to sleep. My
husband awoke me and said that I was having a bad dream. I realized that
I was still with Ahmed and experiencing my body being crushed as one of
his victims must have experienced. I didn't feel pain but much anguish and
terror and I must have been screaming for my husband to hear. Once
awake I realized that the door to that world had to be closed for me at least
for the time being so that I could get some sleep.

This morning more insights poured in during my meditations. I realized that
each of us is responsible for what we do and support, and that if we
support the injury and killing of innocent people, or celebrate such an event
that we are also going to have to experience the grief that it causes. This is
not just a lesson for terrorists but for any who support and applaud even
official actions that harm innocent people.

I asked what the solution might be. The answer came. It is time that we
realize who and what we are. We are not individuals separate from each
other, as the illusion appears to us. We are a part of a single conscious
organism and when we injure any part of that organism we literally are
injuring ourselves. This is the meaning of the Golden Rule.

The Bible says that God claims "Vengeance is mine". The meaning of this is
not that we are free to retaliate blindly when harm is done to us. Nor is it
that there is a terrible avenging and punishing God. Its meaning is that the
best way for us to learn is through direct experience. We must be able to
experience the consequences of our thoughts and actions in order to
understand what and who we are, and the implications of our actions. Thus
we suffer the suffering that we inflict on others.

We are One. This Oneness is a literal reality. We are being given the
choice to see and know this right now, so that we can avoid enormous
amounts of suffering. To see it and teach this to the world in this time of
great grief is the most marvelous legacy that could come out of the horrific
acts that have immersed the globe in sorrow.

God is love and desires for us to see our Oneness and thus to heal mankind.

In love and light,

Nancy X. Sharpnack

Monday, September 24, 2001

"freestone gets beaten over his head by a guitar"!!

not really: but in metaphor-only, in Friday's encounter.

I begin to Detect the Trek....the Appearence of two people on friday who have a backpack and a bus ticket or a suntanned thumb...Out On the Road, a-looking for a "nice quiet place in the Country to get Away from it all [Read " threats!]. there will be more. many many more of these people, in the days to come!
----and they usually, look for a religious community to join, a cult or some Commune-commuity.

and INDEED, often they are carrying a guitar with them.......

They are getting away from something, obviously: but i always have sensed there was more to this than of just looking for a "safe place in the country"...something more that i never could quite put my finger on.

well, yesterday i can now put my finger on it!!
One of these people i met on the bus and i was able to talk to him. he told me of how he was looking for some very cheap land somewheres that is safe and quiet and free of "trouble"!
Right in the middle of my talking about land and real-estate values in different parts of the country, he
gives to me a piercing look, as he sits more upright next to his backpack, and he blurts out a Question to me, a question that had a Tone to it, of "a challange"!

in the tone of
----what's wrong with you..."wrong", as in "you are not an OK person, in my book"!
----you threaten me.
----you are dangerious to me.
----"i see you are one nail that sticks out, amongst the many normal nails, and if i could, i would hit it to make it like the others, but since that is not permitted; i just want to get away!"!
----the delivery of his question sounded, the Tone, like that of a sword sticking a wooden post,
a hard fast quick jab!

well, now i figured why my 6 foot 2 inch tall 130 lb frame so bothered him. i was NOT "ok", in his book!
-----and now i see into the souls of many of these wanderers!
they see life in "BLACK AND WHITE"!! anything of "grey", they cannot deal with: they want "absoluteness" in every moral, ethical, decision......and their enemy, if a Christian, is the term...
"Situational Ethics", where every act is judged in context of the moment and its needs.
they can not handle anything that is outside of some authority-given standard, a standard that
has life painted in colors of black OR white and every edge of image has a black pixel, RIGHT next to the white pixel: no intermediate shades of grey!

["Wanderkind"....the 1935 german word for "wandering children". they roamed the 1930-1936
countryside of germany. they were "squeaky-clean", deeply philosiphical, vegetarian, and wearing Leaderhosen shorts: they were looking for Meaning and Purpose, the 1936 version of "hippies".
they all joined and formed the SSS, Hitler's troops and followers: NOW they found their absolute Savior to Purify the land of Deviency, a deviency of Grey...and to find that Scapegoat of a race to pin all their fears and hates onto and kill kill kill.....]

so this guy could not deal even with my non-common bodytype! did i have AIDS? what is his stance on "queers"?? i fear to find out!!

strange, and ominious...THIS is the very same mindset that IS the Terrorists!! they all, even these
modern wanderkind, are afraid of freedom! they see freedom as leading to things that they are afraid of or afraid of controlling within themselves if they tasted it!! thus they see things like the cities or the internet , to lead to "licentiousness" or "drugs" or "homosexuality"...etc...etc..!
[ see the sept 23rd New York Times Magizine: two very very good articles about this why "fear of freedom with its choices and moral ambuguities" drives many in the world to hate the unitied states.]
they usually end up joining some "cultist" church where ABSOLUTENESS rules! they want to leave the cities where there are 9,859 shades of grey, to go to some perchieved "pure place" where life
is "simple" [ read: no having to makes choices between 56 shades of grey!] and
"wholesome" [read: "everyone is like me, my way is the One true Way, thus anyone else that is not of my way is evil and must be gotten away from, by bus or thumb...maybe if society would only permit it: kill them!!"

thus i see that this terrorist mindset is right here in our land, from our own people!

Saturday, September 22, 2001

Yesterday i suffered the Small Wounds of "being Autistic" yet again!

Once in a while i go to a barber shop for my haircut, i try to let my hair get faily long before i have it cut as i do not like to go. I have learned over the years that i am much much more confortable having a woman cut my hair, even to the point of going to a hair salon!
well yesterday i was Reminded as to WHY i prefer this!
I went to one of these old style barbers shops that still line the streets of small towns and are found on the side streets of cities. read: "1960"!
here i sit waiting while four or five middle aged Southern men came and went, i listened to the talk between barbers and customers...
read: "middle aged middle class/upperclass Southern male Bonding taking place"
Then I sat down to have my hair cut. I tried to talk, i tried to "bond", to "say the right words"!
---i failed miserably!!

[i have a very old washing machine in my trailer. the gearteeth are worn, on the drivegear that turns the agitator. several teeth are missing, thus the motor often just sits there and "whirs" while the agitator is not engaged due to the gear teeth being broken, in some spots...sometimes it just jerks.]

the talk was like that! never quite engaging, like a Japanese trying to enter a good ole boy discussion as IF he were "one of the boys"!
I have always been like that: i end up treating ALL grwonup men as if "they were the Army major and i were the Private"! -----and they treat me like that in return, like of a CEO excecutive being forced to sit on the trainseat next to a "IQ 70" person, and being forced by this low-functioning person to engage in conversation. "talking down" is called! sounds a lot like a father trying to "straighten out" a misbehaving neighbor's kid of 8 years old....."PATRONIZING"...i think is the word i am looking for!!
Yes, that is the word..."patronizing". I cannot think fast enough or talk out fast enough: i do not know instinctively all of the Language non-verbal...thus when i enter these groups of men, or even with just one...It is if i were to learn a foreign language at 60 years old!

I left that barber shop somewhat dismayed, i realized that all of my life i wanted to be accepted by the Group, to Bond, to not be the oddball out, to not be the class clown, constantly picked on.
I saw how i wanted, often, to just buy a house in a small town and have a family and join the church and Do Good in and for the community! No....not to be!

I wonder how i will be accepted in heaven when i arrive there? i will fit nowhere at all, not know the language, social, of any group...probably that is why my dream of last december, where i experienced my
preview of my first bit of heaven, just as i arrive there, why i was to have a cabin on the EDGE of heaven, right near the gateway to earth! i may not be able to relate with most of the men there!

actually, over the years, like in a Craft show or art is the WOMEN that i can relate to: often their husbands are utterly unapproachable...sports??...lenght, breadth, height??
women are of the Moon, the subcounscious, the dream, the mystery, the visions and soul....
probably i will spend all of my "time" in heaven with the women!

Thursday, September 20, 2001

---Here is a copy of a letter that i sent to the egroups list "earthchanges"!

>>> "111 and september 11th!"

here we go again:


I read some other article on just how many "111's" there are around this event!! this one about the number of days till the end of the year is enough to Warrent Attention to the "111 interest people"!!

why this 111?
maybe...just maybe it has to do with "2001"!
1 + 1 = 2 that there are three "1s" in 2001!
this 2001 is such that i think that it is the only year where there are three 1s in it without any other numbers present.
"1992" has three 1s, but it has the two 9s.
2010 has this too, but it is far in the future.
but this 2001 is right at the millenium point!
TOO...this date can be written..."9/11/01"
in many "cabalistic" math summing systems, the "9" is dropped. In numerology, too, the "9" is not counted...thus a number like "194" becomes "14". from this, the 9/11/01 = 111 !
thus i might surmise that "2001" is a *very* imortant year, in the Cosmic scheme of things, for us all!

betcha that this means that this wtc event was cast In Stone, in time-iron, long long ago!
a judgement?
a test? perhaps it is a test: how will we all do AFTER the event?
will we all Come Together, spirtually stronger? or will the inevitable small wars escalate into Bigger War, and unravel us all?! maybe the event itself is fated, but our collective response is Up To Us!
----and "who" did this? who set up the Timing of it, the wtc?
the 111 must be the signiture of the "do-er"!
Spirit? the Lord? the Christ?
i have no answer for this at the moment. Nor do i know of the "why"!
But....I, myself, would suggest that anyone should begin to live, from now on, in their Spirit of Inner Soul and Spirit, from their inner truth and love, in all of their actions, feelings and thoughts!

I am amazed at those two inch tall headlines that appear each and every day!

"the ripple effect' they call it. this is only the beginning!! wait till there are more attacks---wait till the us forces attack the Arab countries' terrotist camps, with the retribution back at us...
since everything is interconnected in this country, the ripple effect will go on and on.....

Wednesday, September 19, 2001

Interesting, the revelations i get from all of these PSYCHICS that i have been near!

tis NOT what they say that intrigues me so: it is how they deliver their messeges and their tone of messege!

a window. they peer into the spiritual world through a window that is their soul. and because it is a PARTICULAR soul, different from any other soul, the scenery seen is colored by that window and colored by their life expereinces!

tis the reverse of that saying: "the artist can only paint what is in his soul, his paintings reflect every trait that is of his soul".
thus if four psychics see the very same astral event, they will each bring back to counsciousness different perceptions of it.
It is like four people seeing a car accident and upon the witness stand they give four differeent accounts of what is seen.

Thus as i get to know the personal lives of these three or four psychics, i can see the tincture of their window.
yes tincture.
a grren window will let only certain colors come through as compared to a orange window, obviously. some things that are there will not be seen at all by the green window, but only in the orange. thus there many be a multi-part, complicated, fated-to-come, event, that is in the astral akasha records that just sits there for Access, but this 50-part event may have it where one seer sees
35 sections of it and the next seer may see 43 parts. both of them miss 4 parts altogether!
but this event needs all 50 "chapters" or events, in order for the Greater Meaning to be understood!!

then we hear an account of, say, the 35 parts, from a psychic, then each of us colors what we HEAR or READ, by our own perception-windows, and color it further where we remember only 70% of it, saying it is all of it.

one of "my" psychics has a strong political bent with a need for "the rightious justice of the lord" to take over and to "punish the....for the great iniquities"!! many past lives, no doubt, maybe, as a Crusader in the mideast, tinctured with some Muslim and Puritan lives"!
maybe. good analogy perhaps. thus he sees great wars and devastations coming very soon.

I came across what i consider to be ANOTHER psychic. he saw this wtc in 1981!! he also had a near death experience and saw jesus and the heavenly places.
I read more of him...he says that there will be no wars or endtimes but that Jesus will return soon. jesus, he says, will not get up with the preachers and preach: he will be on stage with rock bands!! in literal or metaphor---he sees that a second coming will emanently occur but that the church will NOT be pleased as the Jesus-window that they have is 2000 years old and very dirty and colored!!
Jesus might actually LIKE LSD! or grass!
or punk rock music! eat hamburger...what if he went to macdonalds to Discourse, with double cheesburger in hand, half eaten?!
---and tell some of the married ones to get that divorce now and to be sure that baby is aborted! oh the rocks and stones hurled!!

Tuesday, September 18, 2001

i await the other shoe to drop. even a slight flicker of the electric: is it some city burning somewhere??

there is a "newsgroup" on"earthchanges". someone there is a dedicated earthquake watcher, she goes to the site of the u s earthquake service and she posts all earthquakes that occur.
I was amazed and slightly puzzled by her listing about TEN earthquakes within the last few hours, all over the earth!! reminds me of that terse one-liner i saw on the front page of, when i was 9 am-ly accessing my mail, on sept 11.
''plane hits world trade center"!

my own theory about the wtc event is that it could be a spirit-focus point for the beginning of the major End, that we all fear and dread: those two psychics that i wrote of both say the very very same thing!
they say that 60 to 80 percent of the earth's population will be gone in a year!
---AND they both say that the wars/politics/attacks AND the earthchanges of volcanoes/earthquakes/weather will be in tandum, will occur together and linked.

I asked on NDE, another egroups list...the question
"has any psychic foreseen this event?"

I got an answer, an answer that sobers me.
someone replied to the group that he had a powerfull vision in 1981 that listed all of the events
around the wtc event! there was even an insinuation that this would be the beginning of the end!
He took Flack, everytime that he told it...but now he has accepted the event of the "phoenix rising"....

I wonder.
do psychics see the actual earthly event or do they see the thought forms of people thinking about what might occur?! they look alike. a building expoding, seen on film, looks *just* like some
imagination of the building exploding that is being thought in someone's head! a hot dog vender, on the sidewalk, looking at the UN headquaters, could fear that it could be next and he think about it, creating a "mind movie" of a plane crashing into it: aha, a psychic in England Dreams and sees
his movie and just how does this psychic ever tell if he is seeing a movie or is he seeing a "real"
event that is to come?!! how many truck drivers tooling along on interstate 90, in their tedium, they imagine just what they would like to do with ben Laden if they caught could a psychic ever separate their imaginations from what IS to occur?

Saturday, September 15, 2001

did any psychics predict this terrible event??

I wish i could tell MY prophecy!!

I say that i have One, but it is so so intwined with my life that i dispair in telling it!!
there were two events in my life...1963...1982....that involved Events. 1963 my forest ranger school burned down: i was in a field, next to a woods, doing field work class, about five miles from the school and i saw a black column of smoke about 500 feet high off in the distance. it was my whole school, dorm and all!!
i drove Home to mama, with the clothes on my back....

In 1982, i was living with my sister as she lost everything that she a tragic auction of her home: we drove away at midnight to drive 100 miles, leaving some stuff in the house...

both of these times, i soon went to texas for 4 months....Dreams tell me that "texas" symbolizes the heavenworld...

there is something, a something that i can not convey here, that links this all together...

this trade center event is so so powerfull, in the psychic Intent, that i can see, utterly, that the shock waves went backwards in time, harmonic resonences with my two life events!!
thus the result was that much of my whole life as an adult was centered around this here trade center thing!!
do i soon "go to texas" we all soon go to texas?? probably my own life is at an end...utterly

unless, as my adult life began in 1960 at 19 years old when i came to tallahassee to attend college...
there MIGHT be more life IF i were to return to my hometown where i grew up and live out my life there, for the remaining end my life as i began it....
thus if i live, i may well move back to my *very* rural upstate town area, before the next summer comes!!
did any psychics predict this event?!!

I did a quick search in Google/deja. came up with essentuially nothing. the nostradamus prediction seems to be a hoax!
probably soon, some psychic will Admit...

I know of One right here under my nose! The lady who sits at the student counseling desk, about twenty feet from where i type is a psychic herself and she Has Psychic friends who are really into it.
one guy, i learned yeaterday, saw the trade center towers fall, about TWO WEEKS before they did!!
---but you do *not* want to hear what he says for the "next"!!
aside from "colorings" due to his past lives in the middle east, what he says is sobering.
a couple of days ago he told the three of us, at her desk, what will occur.
---the tropical storm in the gulf[friday 14th] will weakly cross fla and then intensify east of florida and then hit the east coast with lots of rain...a strong storm.
---within the next two weeks, by the end of two weeks...england will have terroist attacks. there will be more in this country. a plane will destroy the Eifil tower, in paris! we will attack most of the countries in the middle east. they will cut off our oil. they will be very very angry. iran hosts thousands of CHINEESE people and china will not be pleased when many will be killed. china will invade tiwan, ruduce it to rubble. russia will respond with bombs.
soon....within months, many of the cities in the usa will be rubble....60 percent or more of humanity will be DEAD!!
----but he DID see the two towers fall!! IS he overreactive in his predictions to come? does he see correcctly, but only the thought forms of the possibilities?! we will not have long to wait, will we?!!
bomb threat you say....Blogger?
yes i noted the bloggercall to list the bomb threats: i suppose i got to do my part!

i live in Tallahassee, Florida, the state capital.
----thursday, there was a threat to city hall, a phone call about a box. they found the box, it was really there, with wires sticking out of it, but a hoax, not a real bomb...but the threat was real. they emptied out city hall, the park, i saw from the bus window, was filled with people: they seemed to be enjoying the warm afternoon sun!
-----friday, a teacher told me that one of the local schools had a bomb threat! i can not verify that though...

one person with a phone can empty out a building for a day! maybe the Wonder and amazement that there are not more of these threats!

So here i sit with all of these near death DreamVision experiences of 100 visions of heaven, over the years, AND now i have had about ten dreamvisions telling me that i have maybe only MONTHS to live!! these began about a year ago. NOW i can maybe see why: may not be heart attack or accident....but WW III or some related upheavals that Do It!!
anyone who sees this post, in the search engine lookup, i invite them to follow my daily progress in confronting my own very possible immanent death!! and to look at the sidebar to see the link to where some of my visions of heaven and the earthchanges are written up for you to read!
I finally got my archives to work, i guess they are all there. you can access them now from the left sidebar...if you cannot get enough from this month's writings!!

Friday, September 14, 2001

here is an article from my archives, from the link on the left...

I wrote it after having one of my endtime visions of utter earthchanges [also written up in my files, on the left, the link!]
so here i submit this, in reference to the news of the week!! feel free, anyone who reads share withothers.....freestone wilson

How can I enjoy the rest of my short life after having an Earthchange Vision?

what is the use of loving physical
knowing that the endtimes/earthchanges may ruin it?!


hello, everyone!!

someone asked me, yesterday, about my latest end time vision.
She more or less says that " why go on
enjoy life, knowing that bad times are ahead,
and oblivion for us all"

Spirit once gave to me an answer for that

I was living in upstate new york at the time.
it was May, late may, and the springtime leaves were
at their best...gloriously may days, late in may, of
soft blue skies
and lush new leaves, everywhere.
the air smelled so sweet and all the birds were
chiripping overtime, in song.
But i had just had yet ANOTHER one of my end
time visions...that very morning!! There was strong inference that very soon much of the earth's surface could become ruined for life!
----and I now, by early afternoon, had walked out into the countryside, from the 600 people town that i was living in. I wanted to get out and pray and meditate upon that dream...a dream that killed all hope, a dream that says all will die. How could I feel "good" about enjoying what could become ruined very soon? How could i even enjoy this spring lovelyness that is now all about me, knowing that
all of the plants could become dead from, say, volcanic ash and clouds?!

so as i walked along this road, in the early springtime the warmest time of
day...i asked this same question, in prayer, to Spirit, this lady asks
me....."why even go on living"?!!

---and Spirit gave me an answer! probably a guide whispered it to me, as I heard the
Inner Voice Speak!
it said, more or less........
Yes, you had yet another dream of
everything dying in the endtimes, Freestone.
Dust and brown and dead wood and dead cities, everywhere. oh how depressing!
but look before you, Freestone!
there you see spring in all its glory!
and---you know that in only a very few
months, winter
will come and Frost everything Dead!!
the winds will blow black clouds and the snow
WILL fall, covering everything in still deathlike
silence, at ten degrees above zero farenheit. Winter WILL win, as it always does every fall, in upstate new york.
But you enjoy the summer, Freestone, do you not---knowing that this winter to come, in only five month, will win out over the life of summer's warmth??!! [frost can come in september, in upstate ny!!].....
you know that all of it will die.
But you also know that there will be
another spring and summer, next year! There will always be a summer nine months ahead, every fall of the year.
so enjoy this one...while it lasts...
You are supposed to, being this earth is a classroom to
use for to grow your Soul in!
High school art class may only last an hour a day, five days a week: use it to learn Art in. Summer only lasts four months every year, enjoy it!

and if the earth were to die?
why there will be yet another "earth" in
spirit for
you to enjoy, after you die...the heaven worlds of spirit!
and this one will have an EVERLASTING summer....
so use the earthly "summer" to train you to
see the
Real Eternal Summer, in heaven, after you
die! and after all, even if the earth has no
endtimes that
the prophets warn of...YOU will have your
very own personal endtime, some day soon----!!

your death!

thus the REAL question, here, is..."how can i go on
knowing that i will die, someday, and all of my life's work will be gone, and all my
life's future hopes and dreams will then be for not?!!"

we all, each of us, have our personal
endtimes, our
very personal rapture!! some people will end
time before the endtimes!!


a good answer!
so go out and enjoy your senior year in high
school, the art classes;
even knowing that very soon the Graduation
will occur
and you WILL move off to College, across the
Great River, never never, to come back to sit in
of High school #666!!


"pancake effect"....that is the engineer term that they use to describe how the 7 or so floors of the lower trade building collapsed. one floor falls onto the lower one and they both fall onto a third floor, the weight causes both to have the third one fall...etc..etc...a cascading action like the falling of a row of DOMINOES!

----this is the effect that i see on the US!

one building disrupts so so many plans, even way out to a small town in the midwest. air travel...meetings...on and on...

reall really brings one up to sense one's MORTALITY!!
at any moment your day can change, at any moment all those well-laid plans are gone gone gone.

but ya gotta plan!!
if ya did not, why you would not even get out of bed!! gotta put the carrot in front of that donkey.....

maybe one should life *LIKE* you just come from your doctor's office with the x-ray copy of the photo in your hand, the x-ray that shows that brain tumor and you know the doc told you that you have SIX MONTHS TO LIVE!


--make peace with your relatives that you do not get along with, try to Forgive them?
---dance your last dance, do it now?
---let go of attachments.
---make peace with your self and the lord?
---try to get more Love into your soul...Truth and goodness too! ...?
--take a few alone walks on the alone country road?
---say "yes"!
--say "no"!
---try to understand that the tomstone is not a dead is a DOOR!
------or all of the above!


I had another talk with one of the two psychics, yesterday afternoon, the "spiritual one"!

He had already come to the same conclusion that I did----that the first psychic, who is more "political", has past lives from the middle east and early zealot christianity: thus coloring his Perceptions of the future!

"god will seek rightious judgemental revenge by putting a super-huricane over the east coast next week"
while this here weak tropical depression IS moving across florida now, and may be going over the sea east of there, soon, as he said it would...and may even develop into a storm off the carolinas, as he said it would....Both of us agreed that

God never Revenges!!

god does not do that, people do!
God is beyond "form"...beyond "revenge" or "rightious judgements"!!

all psychics see through a window pane, and the glass is NEVER clear, as it can never be! the window pane of perception or transmission from guides is the "pysical body/soul on earth" that is the incarnated psychic. because it IS of the earth, the window pane is always always colored by the life and soul, of the psychic!
he colors what he sees, by his life experiences.

as we all do.
our whole world perception and judgement of our perceptions, are colored. thus if a psychic has had many many Native american Indian past lives, his whole bias of perception is colored by that...the shaman symbol system...the way of life...etc..etc...
Even one own intuitive connections from Spirit, can often be colored by one's own life expereicences...

as a guide said...."a Guide, when speaking through a medium, he must speak using the medium's own language sytem"! thus even a guide's direct voice, through a speaking medium, is not "pure" is colored by what is IN the medium's own language AND value system...

thus any prophet or psychic, giving out info on the trade center....will have colored information: judge

Thursday, September 13, 2001


over the course of two days, i have talked and listened to two psychics talk about their visions as to "what will be next" for the world!

Interesting; i go often to the University library and i sit in a quiet area near a desk manned by a lady who counsels students. i just found out that she is a psychic and has had many spirit-given paintings and articles.
she has two friends of hers that are "real" psychics...the "card carrying kind" . one gives past life and
aura readings and also channels Angels and even Archangels! her other friend is more of a "political" psychic who sees directly in semi-trance, more of the political changes in the countries of the world.

two distinct flavors of Seeings!!

do ya REALLY want to know what they saw???!

[this is from memory; well tinctured by my own interpetations, from my memory as to what they said....also
i do not neccessaryily agree with anything that they say: i would hope that i give to you, reader, what they said...
in a noisy student filled library, the soft-spoken "spiritual" psychic was heard for me to understand...thus i dispair at 100% accuracy as to WHAT they said...bear this in mind!!]

------psychic "A", the political psychic.
uas strikes the middle east, all countries will be attacked, saying that the leaders must get their own terroists out and they are not. more terrorists attack oil refineries in the us. cities in europe get hit too. as we bomb the eastern countries, the visiting chinese get hit and china is angry so it massively attacks taiwan. russia gets angry and then the arabs cut off all their oil to the west. more retalation...more bombs onto the east. russia strikes...
nuclear the world plunges into nuclear winter. most people die.
begins in a week......all this over before this time next year.
i left near the beginning of this, it was to too much to eat in one chew. i will hear from her tomorrow or monday...maby put it here.

----psychic "B"!
this person is much the more "spiritual". he talks in vague newagy phrases, while the political guy was very very specific in images, this B guy was non imagacal, thus for me, MUCH harder to get! I feel this B guy was by far the more "advanced", in some he actuall knows Seth of seth speaks by person and they talk all of the time, as this person is a medium/channeler. a very very advance soul, this guy from Asheville, n c.
very old loving soul....he gives life readings and aura readings and past life regressions. his new agy language, he speaks not so much of war but of eath and the changes. he sees japan blowing up in volcanic fury and a huge tidal wave taking out the west coast and soon soon every american city will be gone. also, like the first guy, a 60 to 80 percent death rate!

same room of results by two slightly different doors.
the first guy DID speak of weather! he said that the currant low pressure in the gulf will next week cross florida and intensify to a super hurricane and ruin some of the east coast: THAT can be check upon within a week> i hope he is wrong, i will know soon.
if this political guy is RIGHT, the world is on the very last few minutes of "HAMLET", WHERE ALL OF THE aCTORS APPEAR AND THEN THEY ALL KILL EACH OTHER OFF, AND THE STAGE IS LITTERED WITH DEAD BODIES!
oooops: gotta go, i will not even be able to proofread this!!
you read what i wrote!

Wednesday, September 12, 2001

should i make a statement about the trade center fire?

I suppose a statement IS required!

to me, very disturbing, personally!

Here i have had a number of Dreams that tell me that i will die within a year, probably much less than a year. if anyone has followed, here, my journal, you have noted several recent dreams of mine that give to me of the "other side is very close" dream, of about two weeks ago.

Oh, i have a lung Condition, but it is nowhere near life threatening! then i am 60, but i have no history of heart or stroke conditions.
Oh, i suppose Nile virus could take me out! maybe a car accident or a drive by shooting Could Do!


there is another way to Die. in "WW III" or "earthchanges"!!!

a tidal wave 400 feet high takes out tallahassee.
the nuclear radiation turns my in-bed-sleeping body to ash in .0003 seconds, at 50,000 degrees!
THIS is my personal slant upon this trade center Event!
the beginning of the end for *YOU*, reader!! Your death, your "rapture"!!
my death will only be one death amongst many many some apopcalptic end time scene...

I suspect the recession or even DE-pression, will shortly begin, too....the death of the good times: all apples rot, eventually!

Just WHAT spiritual symbol could be attributed to this, for america, i do not know: that world trade center had every single major WORLD corperation represented in it...

and the terrorists.....why all their Answers to all their questions have and will be answered by their Muslim stance! they have only ONE further problem: US!...the rest of the unbelieving world...
if they die for their cause, they win. if they blow up buildings, they win.
they see it as our problem....and that we all should live like the Afganistans, the whole world.
thus there IS no solution! they will break before bend....perfect ameggedion/apopilypse folder for to light the fires of the gas soaked world, with!
Tools of spirit, for to end the world with.

so my own-personal-death-to-come-very very soon, dreams....may not be only for me....

they may be for *YOU*!!

prepare for to go to places like my "appalachin mountain land", in spirit!

Tuesday, September 11, 2001

Interesting, my tiredness!!
yesterday I Came To Face It, Face to Face, my tiredness!!

As i came back to my apartment, near the edge of downtown, on the crowded packed city bus, i noted yet again how drained of energy i was. almost as if i only got two hours of sleep last night and needed a long long nap Now! not that kind of tiredness though!! nor was it the kind of physical tiredness that comes from physical labor or exertion. it was of a quite different type of exhaustion altogether.
This occurs each and every day about 2 to 3PM: an hour nap restores me, but ,golly, this takes the very heart of the day out!


Today, i confronted this, as to the "why".....

I find that this here exhaustion is an exhaustion of the ETHERIC BODY.

[etheric body----there is the physical body, then there is the actual soul-body, the shape of the soul as it is in Spirit: near the earth plane, it would look like the physical body, but younger in age: it is what one looks like in heaven after death, the "physical body" THERE, in heaven.
So...the etheric body is like of a clutch plate for a stick shift transmission in a is a "bridge-body' that has some of it in the Spiritual world and some of it in the physical world. the "aura" is a good word for this etheric body!]

my etheric body is exhausted! exhausted from
---going into the city on the crowded bus.
---using the library at the 35,000 student, university
---the coffee shop, followed by cafeteria at the mall. the only place to get good food without going far far out of my way through the OCEAN of people to get there!


this is what occurs, abrasion between my etheric body and of all the bodies of all the rest of the people.
as someone, say, walks past me within ten feet, i can feel their movement INSIDE of me!
like having several radio station on one place on the dial, or, having to listen to someone talk, in a noisy croded room where everyone around you is talking AS loud as the person you are trying to hear!
"psychic empath", is one name for this "talant".
too, i suspect all of the electromagnetic radiation also effects my etheric body: just look at the bristling antennas on all of the buildings for cell phones!

some psychic teacher, in a institute for psychic development, told me, once...just before they left Miami for the carolina rural mountains, taking the institute there....["Arthur Ford Acadamy for psychic development and psychic unfoldment", i believe was the name...1976]
he said...."all centers for psychic development, that he knew of, if they began in a city; they soon moved to the countryside"!!

[In my own dreams, i would astrally often visit a american "sai baba center' somewhere. the etheric/astral counterpart to a rented house, in some small american city. about once every few months, i would visit in my dreams:eventually, they moved out into the country!]
[there was a dream i had way way back, maybe 1970, a voice says..."Adepts in training NEVER live in cities! they live only in places near college towns" I can now really really see that! the massmind of the city is no good, and if a very very small town is lived in near a college town, the locals are used to having "strange' people around, the "weird' outsider is more accepted!]

never live in a place where no one runs, walks or jogs!!.......that is one of my lifeobservations!!

tradeoff. nice computer access and the things of a city, but for a price. some day soon, I must confront
this "etheric drain" my spiritual life comes to a halt as there is little way i can use this sensitivity as a TALANT, where the surround is so so chaotic. Now, it is a liability, this etheric sensitivity!!
I can readily SEE why my earthly life could be at a crossroad of Spiritactionchoice...either my life is over: no more that i can do...or....i will probably have to make a radical move......

i would imagine that under the "proper" guidance, i could work as a psychic Counselor/healer, giving counsel and therephy to people. i could join with a Spiritualist church or a Camp and hang a shingle on my front lawn...
but Spirit had me Do Other things, with my life.....

this choice, for my future, may not be up to me at all. it may be set in spirit.

I suspect that a chronic exposure to this "psychic field", will eventually bring onto me, in my aura, a "subtle disease", and it will eventually show up in my physical body as one of these Modern
very complicated hormonial/auto-immune syndromes!

thus, i can see that i will have to someday move to the countryside and only visit, like of jumping into the sea with scuba gear, cities!

I wonder how many other people have this condition, out there?!
how many people are only dimly aware of this talant of "psychic sensitivity", and thus it is a libility or handicap, NOW, as this talant is not developed or used, thus it is "immature", and the person is at risk for being drained, obsessed, the people around them, physically...AND the spirits
of these people, the guides/hanger-oners, of these other people...who are near the earth people, in their auras; thus these spirits are also picked up by the Sensitive!

so someday very soon, this must be delt with, if spirit has me to continue to live....

Monday, September 10, 2001

the lady from CARD, the center for Autism Research and Development, came by the library today to take my picture for their site.
"the adult high level functioning autistic using the Computer"....or something like that.
we got to talking about people who are highly gifted AND labor under some mental disability!
they get hit upon in many many different ways, i saw.....

-----obviously, their disability! No one takes them seriously!! can you imagine a lawyer, in court, presenting his case, with a autistic voice-tone and a drawl of speech, with a "different" way of thinking?! or a CEO of a company who is always about 13% out of sync
with the social way of bondings with his other CEO officepeople?!

but there is yet more!
-----people dump their "need-loops" upon them! If a parent, friend or teacher needs a scapegoat or someone to have "below' them, on the pecking order, in order for themselves to feel somewhat "ok", why this autistic person takes the hit!
-----and, if this autistic person has some challanging idea, why if he is "autistic" then that means he is a bit crazy and thus his threatening idea, as well as himself, need not be taken seriously!!
this autistic person can make all kinds of suggestions for improvement, say, in a company: no one takes him seriously, no one believes him. he just does not count!!

In my case, i guess, whatever and whenever that i begin to talk about my heaven vision experiences, why people begin to look at their watches or change the subject or ignore me.
suppose i wear some clothes like i was some cult member leader, with a kind of "charasmatic" hairdo and clothes makeover?
suppose i had a "golden-tone" of a voice?
suppose i acted like i had money and sex-power?

I have NONE of the above, raggy clothes that never can be washed in anything but baking soda, a voice that drags on real slow and
a gawky clumsy manner with not a trace of "sex appeal' in my clothes or manner! no money either!!
Perhaps i was KILLED in a past life, for my beliefs or for what i did....the middle ages are littered with the burnt corpses
of the heretics, who died merely because they offended the Church! I will not be killed THIS time: thus my visions of the afterlife seem more for ME, than for anyone else!

but i have great sympathy for all the various "disabled" out there, as i feel that they are done to like what i wrote above!

------and the homeless??
no wonder they offen are so so angry all the time: all help given to them has twenty strings attached, like "help" must have Prozac come with it, or no help! or that fast food place on main street that had for several years a sign that said..."no one can stay here for longer than 40 minutes"! the homeless know for whom that sign is meant for!!
basicly: the anger is because everyone wants them to change to THEIR ways of living, to change in every way the homeless: make the homeless feel NOT OK, have them feel that anything and everything that they feel, believe, and do, is worthless!!
thus if worthless: change to our way of being.....the "straight" way........

Saturday, September 08, 2001

---further comment upon yesterday's dream discussion that i put up here yesterday....[see journal entry below]

there was a dream about six or seven years ago where i stood at my aunt's house and i stood in the field behind her house...and this house always means..."communication from Spirit".
i lloked across the lake to the other side and on the field before me was a large pole like of a telephone or light pole. it was about 18 inches in diameter, i could not tell...
What impressed me, though, was that not only was this pole somehow connected with the other side of the lake [the other side=Spiritworld], but that there was a large ring of light around the pole, but with a GAP in it of about two to five inches!!

NOW i can see that this ring is the duration of my alloted life and when the time-circle is closed, i will die.

now back to yesterday's dream account. i could see that the other side of cayuga lake was now about 200 feet away and that i could "see a dimple in that baby's face, i am THAT close"!!
-----almost as if i were going backwards in time towards my birth...i wondered how this could be done, how could i go forwards then go backwards.
one of my major life accomplishments was done about exactly in the middle of my life, 30 years: then it hit me! I am describing a CIRCLE, that "ring" that i described above. thus in 2-demensions: it would appear as if i went forwards to 30 years old and then back towards birth!

how Humbled i felt, last night, to discover that my childhood and early college years, some odd-25 years since birth, replays BACKWARDS, in mirror-image!!
---when my parents took me 1200 miles to College at 19 years old, we arrived a week early and rented a cottage by the sea for a week. then entered school, to begin my adult life: MAJOR point of life!
---in reverse, approximately 19 years ago, i LEFT a major life point, but stayed with my sister as we both rented a cabin for a week, just before leaving!
1941..........................rentcabin/enter college
rentcabin\ leave........................2001

Now, i cannot convey in a mere writing, how strange this appears. but i can now see that a "circle" is embedded in my life of 60 years, a circle that has it where one point on it has an opposite mirror-event, 180 degrees away: as if one took a ten inch strip of paper and folded it on the six inch mark so that the end is now touching the beginning where the folded paper is six inches long...think of a butterfly with its wings folded. this is my life-circle in two demensions...

so now my "birth" will be in two more months: as the soul is supposed to actually incarnate into the fetus
at about 4 to 6 months into the pregnetcy...this would have the Circle complete *very* soon!
like maybe December to may of 2002!!

ponder ponder.....
just how IS it where a life can be set up SO "fated"?! oh i belive in free will all right, but i as an older soul probably in free will set the life up BEFORE i was born, with the help of Guides in spirit!
---be like that man in new york City who was at a bar having a LOT of drinks and he fell into an argument with someone over whether new york or London had the prettiest girls...his NEXT memory is waking up on the middle of Brit Air flight 476 somewhere over the Atlantic, on the way to London: he chose to buy the ticket and board the plane, in drunken free will, but now he cannot change the Program and must see his wager through to the end!!
to me...this explains why the life of some people is so "fated"! they had it set up before they were born!
even the Owner's game manual says so..."I knew thee before you were born and i gave to you your Mission whilst you were in the womb"....Jesus speaking about the prophet jerimiah's mission[i think jerimiah!]. the Masters, in spirit, could well indeed do this, with a set up a mission.

Friday, September 07, 2001

NOW i can begin to Face my Thursday's dream!

takes sometimes days and days to digest some dreams...this one is short, but:
but this dream has all the subtleness of a hammer at the slaughterhouse hitting the cow between the eyes, at the beginning of the Processing Line!

---before i can give to you my weathervane, as a gift: i must first build ya a barn, in order for you to put it on!!

I had a grandfather who had a 1960 cottage, since 1948, on Cayuga lake. this is no ordinary lake, it is a masterlake...500 feet deep in the center and two and a half miles wide at every point and 60 miles long!
his cottage was in the middle of the lake, thus both ends of this lake were around the bend. thus this lake, to me, as a kid, seemed to be like a river with no ends: a chasm between the worlds, a vertable "river jorden" the hills on each side were over 400 feet high, but there was room enough along the shore that there was a row of cottages and boathouses, nearly shoulder to shoulder, seen on the other side. i could just barely see the cottages and *just* make out the boathouses. 2 1/2 miles.

In my DREAMS, this place has often appeared, this point of land next to that cottage: in my dreams the "other side' of this lake *always* meant...."heaven's shore"...the "other side"....the beginning of the afterlife spirit world. In fact, i would often use this cottage shore as a "takeoff place for to GO out of body to one of the afterlife worlds!

thus the other side of this lake meant the shores of heaven, always, to me, in dream symbols.

in my dream i was standing at this shore looking at the other side. I was shocked, in the dream! i exclaimed, in the dream,
"the other side is 2 1/2 miles away but NOW it IS SO close"!
this other side looked to be about 200 to 300 feet away!! as if this lake were only 200 to 300 feet across.
then i said, as i saw people walking about near their cottages and i saw a mother with a baby...."the other side is so close that i can see the dimples on that baby's face"!
----end of dream.

now for my interpetation!
Interesting how i would say something like that about the dimples! that is not something that "I" would ordinarily say to anyone: i never married, never had kids, i would maybe see and notice something else instead. thus i can conclude that this was my Higher Self Speaking. from the Vantagepoint of spirit.
the messege??!
THAT was what i have been meditating upon.

was the "2 1/2" refering to 2001/2002??
the baby!
i actually asked people about the dimples...they said that for some people the dimples never go away, "my grandmother still has her babydimples" a lady says...
200 feet??
is the ever closing gap refering to "psychic development? the approach of the holy spirit?
or is the approach a TIME-DRIVEN thing, where 2 1/2 is my birth and at that rate of movement, that would put 200+ feet to be 9 months to a year or so...before the gap is ZERO: I am standing upon the other shore!
I did learn that a baby is a baby until 12 months, then it before a "toddler".

I thus surmise that this baby is less than 12 months old that i saw. thus i will infer that i will BE on this shore in less than 12 months!!

Yes, the shoreline of the other side was about 200--300 feet away. coming ever the closer, the gap is narrowing. soon, "this side" will become "the other side" funeral will be held, here....i will be there!

---this is yet another series of these dreams...all saying the same thing. yes, gives this weblog an extra twist, then....not only is it about how i live after visions of heaven, it is also about my probable, possible, "less than a year to live"!!!
---and what if i am still living after Labor day of 2002?? yet more topic for writings!!

do i burn my bridges?
will i be like that AIDS patient, i read of, who prepared to die and got his affairs in order and Said Goodbyes....and then Modern medicine found a cure if not remissions and he will now live another ten to twenty years! after cutting off all ties, NOW WHAT?!!
Do I do the same: say goodbye and Study the travel guide before Moving there?! I have One already, the Guide, my visions!
"sign the peace treaty but keep the gunpowder dry", i guess!! defensive drivinglife..."always have an out, a second plan, in case the primary one fails!

they did it again!

my 7;30 am coffee shop was closed, no one came to open it! Fred, the owner, has students who open for him, one guy comes in at 6 and the others come maybe at 6:30.
but no one came at all! later, at 8, as i left the other coffee shop, i saw the owner himself there with one other guy; the other three or four had not yet come.

this coffee shop supplies Major carryout orders of breakfast plates, $40+ plates, of maybe a hundred bits of cookies, bagels, the State capital people, the house, the senate, the Courts, and all of the Orbiting planets of lawyers and ajencies and lobby people that orbit around the "sun" called "a state capital government complex"

A secret i learned in college is that thursday IS party night, not friday, not saturday: there was a major party and Attendance Required or you lose your Social Life and Connections to the college-version of the human race! up till 5 am or even later and utterly utterly WASTED!

I devote a whole morning's rant on this as this event is a very very good example, to me, of something utterly profound! here this cafe is a major carryout-caterer for all of the lawyers and state people, why on friday 8 am they will all want dozens of these platters.


when a stone is dropped into the pond, the ripples go out and out and out. when these kids choose to do this, stay out, do not open, why they affect the lives of A THOUSAND OR MORE PEOPLE!!
all those govenment people and lawyers in a bad mood, clerks at windows extra-surly, extra crabby!
why i can Imagine how a Court jury decision is to be made at 9 am about how yesterday's guilty ruling, upon a criminal, is to have the sentencing set: how long will the sentence be for him? This guy could have 4 years...6 years...or even 10 years in prison; the jury decides the sentence-length at 9 am. now at 9 am, no Platter, not even coffee!!
the judge, the jury....are all angry and upset...ya KNOW how a little thing will sit with ya all day long!!
so the jury gives to him 8 years in the pen! they would have given him maybe 5 years if they were in a better mood!
so. his wife wearies of his incarceration, she could have stood 5 but not 8 years: she goes ahead and files for three kids have no family when he gets out and he, himself, has no family to come back to, thus he soon gets into even more trouble...he kills someone, in a further crime episode!!

the three kids who chose to party have now BLOOD on their hands!! three divorced kids, a ruined marrage, and now MURDER! they are connected to *each* person who was touched by their not-coming-in, and that connection is an iron bond, in heaven's light and they will have to work with and live with the wife, the three kids, the husband feleon, the victum of murder, and all of the officals who took part in the arrests and sentencings...
Let alone the 1000 people who were upset by "no coffee or bagals"...just think of how many embittered
gasbill people there were this morning as they stood in line at the Counter to pay their utility bills and the counter lady was *real* rude to them she tells everyone..."whadya expect; i did not have my morning coffee from fred's"!!

hopefully, these party kids will mature: i am NOT against party and partyings...but i see, in this little incident, just how the mechanics of how we all are interconnected and what anyone of us does, affects everyone around us: the dropped pebble in the pond sends ripples out and out and out! one person affects four and four people affect ten and on and on......

In the light of my afterlife visits, i can SEE how these "touchings" are like "astral spotwelds", like of two spiderweb strands that touch and become so glued to each other that they are one, at that touch-point.
thus every "player" in a web of these "touchings" is connected and after they all die, that connection practically sets the whole heaven experience to come, for them. "ah" you say..."how can it be that if one of these partyers had affected the lives of 10,000 people, over years of time-cascading influences: [the three kids, divorced parents, father in prison....they themselves become "delinquents" and ruin the days of a hundred or more people, over the years] how can it also be that if a person has to be WITH each and every one of these 10,000 souls, in heaven for one to ten "years" each, to help work out the could this party-person spend 80,000 years doing that?!!"

this part person will then KNOW what "infinity and eternity" means!! what is 80,000 years, against eternity: a moment, that is all!

One can learn from *any* little daily event, spiritual teachings. this is why i spent 700 words on this this little event shows to me just how one or three people's actions can affect 1000 people, directly and immediately! 1000+ people with a bad taste in their mouths...

and ya know.....
if in a week, there are hundreds of people who are so touhed, why there could well be "backwards feedback", to the partykids, even while they are alive here on earth, in the days and weeks to come!! the collective mindset and heartset, of all the unhappy people, could well loop backwards to affect the three kids who did not open!!

if i touch you, you are touching me!

thus if a person creates a lot of "negativity" in the people around him, over the years, the psychic field of all of these people will bleed back to him, even if he lives far far away in another city!! then after he dies, he will go live with all of these people that he "created", they will show back to him the state that he created IN them, while alive!! if a person, in heaven, is a "good soul" and there is only a BIT of negativity in him, but that one bit was caused by influence from this negativity-creator, when the negativity person meets this good soul in the afterlife, why the only "face" that is evident to this negativity person IS that negativity!! the rest of the soul is not seen! the goodness is invisible, only that negativity that was put there, on earth, by this guy's life-influence, is seen!

If i would not want to sit in a room of 50 people who are in a bad mood that is caused by me, i would not also want these 50 people to be out and around the city with this same me-caused-mood! even thought they are at a distance from me, there is NO distance with Spirit, thus the etheric/astral "nearness" is like they are in the same room, even if they are miles away: feedingback to me what i put out to them, with Interest returned, as even if the return-feed is weak, there are 50 feederbackers!!

----- even while alive, this is so!
If i make ten people happy, and they go off happy, and spend the day happy, why their psychic field of happiness will affect me from a distance! [every mothers knows the very very moment her child skins his/her knee, in gym class! no matter if the mother is miles away, she knows if her child is hurt!]
To go around with a pool of people, at a distance, who are upset DUE to my influence, is NOT good for one's psychic health...let alone for the soul-health!

---all this gotten from one small event, three college kids pary and not come in to open a coffee shop, in Tallahassee, three blocks from the state capital building!!

Thursday, September 06, 2001

after i wrote my earlier article about being autistic, i have now further thoughts on what "autism" is!

I feel that most of the "high level/aspergers" autistic people are Older Souls. they came here with many many talants and also such a developed mind that they can see or sense connections where no one sees any relations at all. Naturally the brain short circuits: too too many programs trying to dance their dance upon a too small of a stage. And...of course these Intuitive see-ings, where the higher self, in Spirit, is brought to bear, in any sensings or perceptions; why this goes against the group-thinks that are around the person.

grow up in school and be told, "good people do NOT do...feel..think those kind of thoughts":see how your self-esteem crashes ever the downwards! then too the prevalent social sytems that is called "being a teen aged kid, today" is often not understandible!
And, any "out of it" kid is the subject of every kind of taunt abuse!

no wonder many also develop all kinds of chemical sensitivites later in life as "being sensitive" is ALSO a HARDWIRED part of
the nervious system, from birth onwards....then there is the reaction to all the disturbing world, added to this poor self-esteem, to further increase chemical sensitivity.

Oh, to be able to use autism as a TALANT!! society practically is against that is having a "cure" done to the autistic person is tatamont to having this person admit that the currant society way of doing things IS the One Right Way!!!!!
I would imagine the first step for a Spiritual help, is to be able to accept these talants that make up one's particular brand of autism, and to first accept one's self.
Then one could use these talants for something, a something where these talants would be an advantage, say...Creative writings".

thus our western way of life would WANT to cure all of its autistic people: makes for a very good VALIDATION, self referenced, a validation of the western way of life, if all devients are seen to be "sick" and not of a counscious choice in choosing this "devientcy"!!
sick people can be "reformed", by chemical drugs or maybe therepy.

having, myself, been to and seen some of Heaven; i can well sense the relative value of things...
As the Universe wheels about, in its 87,000 year cycle...and over 10 billion years old: sort of puts the western way of life into Proper perspective!!
i can see it now...near the Galactic center, there is a 1000 year "annual" Conference, a conference of many of the AVATARS of various planets, in the galaxy.
read: Jesus!
imagine a whole auditorium of jesuses, jesuses of 10,000 planets!
[which jesus is the real jesus......the christians[xians] would ask!] all of them, of course.....from some races where there is one sex, ten sexes....four legs.....coldblooded....can fly.....WHAT would the "1st Baptist church" say about THAT?!!

up there in heaven, there are afterlife worlds of all the races, all of the countries, and all of the times, maybe way way back...[ some spirit guide spoke of how he found a Neanderthal man, in a neanderthal heaven, on a Deep expedition to a far distantrealm, in the afterlife worlds...

our Western but a snowflake, one amongst many, in the "noreaster storm"...very real enough as it is, but only one amongst the very very many other very real flakes!

Being AUTISTIC gives to me a Interesting slant onto life!

while i was never "officially" given that diagnosis, my readings about Temple Granden's writings about "thinking In Pictures" and my own childhood symptoms that are in essence the same as per the symptoms of aspergers/high level functioning autism.....

yes, i think almost only in pictures and images, so much so that when eating with someone at the table i have a choice: eat OR talk...not both at once! Most people have a window onto the world, but i have a pinhole in a sheet of paper, to peer through! My Dreams are amazing and outragious though!!
First person expereinces of the afterlife, no less. two way talks with many of my relatives too!

but i feel that many old souls are Autistic: this is why i do not like the "must become cured" and the overly psychological approach to autism.
old souls...they come into incarnation with SO much talant and so many life subtleness. makes for being autistic!
like a 64 meg ram program trying to operate in a 16 meg ram of a brain!
packing a suitcase with clothes and there are so many clothes that there is always a bit of a shirt or dress sticking out of the suitcase seam, no matter how you try!
trying to get those six programs that need 8 gigs of hard drive space to work: but ya only have a 4 gig brain and the Dancing of all those programs of your soul...there WILL be much tripping of program-feet over each other as the dancers dance the dance in that room that is so so small!

thus...autism, as the brain goes into "illegal action code: will shut down"!
blue screen of braindeath, as you try to fumble for a word that fits the image as everyone around you who talks 50 words per minute Have Little Sympathy!
or "white out" in a P-mart that has walls that go to the horizen and all ya want is a box of nails and the isle go on to infinity with blurs of 56,000 colors with echo noises and zombiefied shoppers with no-license-to-drive shopping carts that are like driving in a carnival "bumpercar" ride into each other and intoYOU!! Total sense overload.

But i sense and feel more more than most people do, with Empathy and Psychic and such...
I even had in my dreams a few of what the ufo people would call an "alien abduction" or two!! abducted from my own bed, from my dreamstate!
why, all the props were there...the ship, the Implants, the aliens...
then i went in astral travel to visit THEIR world...several of several alien worlds, over the following months...
then there are the "end time visions"!! i had even been drafted into that rarefied club....."Those Who have been Given a Psychic map of north America after the earthchanges are done with"!! there are clubs that join YOU up, whether you want it or not: we call you and you never never call us! some of these eathchange visions you do NOT want to read!!
[but of course i have some of them on my filesite, along with my alien abductions and autism articles!
just go to the upper left sidebar and click on the "files archive" link, to go there to read them.]

Wednesday, September 05, 2001

spent this 40 minute block just updating the profile in my homepage...THIS page!

i recall how management works....

the saying..."for every spiritual insight or experience of five minutes long, there is 55 minutes of work"!

if ya get ten more gallons of water, you gotta have that ten gallon bucket to put it in! THAT, to me, is the meaning of that Grail Cup!
this is the cup that holds the holy spirit and in ones own life it is all the soul-work that is needed to be able to hold that spiritual wine, in that cup of soul...
thus "management' nearly IS all there is to life!!
Proper Management, that that is the "walk in the woods", the path of life, where Spirit is the polestar for that Compass Oreintation! all of management of life should be centered around a spiritual life.

for i sense that the Puritans were right: that all of life IS "Prep"!--------preperation for heaven: only great mistake they made was that
they thought this could be done by saying "no"!
tis to say "yes"....i feel.....

now IF i can remember it, in my autistic scatterings, AND i have more time, i want to write about "celtic christianity" tomorrow!!
quite a job, trying to fix all the little link problems with my weblog!

gotta have BOTH "grow" and "management", i guess!!

if "growth" is all, then you have zillions of tender tendrils on the vine but no support underneath them and the vine just flops on the ground, or worse....there is only uncontrolled growth called "cancer"!
---and of course if you have management alone, there is only that trunk of the vine and it is DEAD WOOD!

delicate balance here....

Tuesday, September 04, 2001

rain all Labor day!

funny how this is.....

when i lived in southern Illinois for the three summers, there are the three three-day holidays each summer...Memorial day...july 4th...labor day. i spent 27 days of these holidays, there. [9 x 3]
It rained each and every one of them! all 27.

I still feel that the weather a place gets is connected to what is going on in that area. Holidays and collective "psychic states"
bring on certain weathers.

thus the weather in the sky has relation with the people under it!

same as the "biggie"-------the world outside of you skin, is related to your soul-state!

---ever try, when you are in a bookstore, to see a book on the shelf and then say to yourself...."in a few minutes i will return from the bathroom and i will remember where the book is, on the shelf, and i will pick it up then.....only to find that when you come back there is an empty space there like of a buck tooth! someone else has took the book!!


your intensity of counsciousness put a "spotlight" on the book and that energy made that book stand out more than the other books!
thus someone who would have passed it by, now notices it BECAUSE of your pin-lighting of it...and takes and buys it!
I had an extemely interesting experience on the bus this morning! one "for the books"!!

[oh there is NO "little experiences" when one is on the path of Spirit! there is a messege and a meaning in everything: nothing is "accidental"!]

the physical part of the experience was almost trival: the bus driver stopped the bus so quick, un-normally, that i ended up slamming into the guy sitting next to me, actually hitting him with my fist so to break the force of the abrupt stop!

as i walked down to the library to sit here typing, i had an Inspiration about this event, and a Terrible Awfull realization comes out of this!

july 1985. i was living with my sister in southern illinois. One july evening, as we drove back from her office, late, near the house we saw a car of mexican laborers, the car had broken down. we stopped, ended up having them come to the house and eventually taking them back to the "compound" where they lived. they come every year to pick the apples and the nearby town, i had heard, utterly disliked them...utterly so, considered them to be only "animals"!!

Suanna and i liked to take saturday drives....and on the next saturday we drove through this very town, as it was only ten miles away: she stopped to buy gas and i went inside to buy some coffee to go.
as i stood in the long line, some guy behind me came up and bumped into me SO hard that it took every ounce of self-control to stop my arm from pitching that cup of very very hot opentopped cup of coffee onto each and everyone of the six people who were ahead of me!

later that evening, after we got back, i took my usual meditatave country walk, and i prayed to the lord as to "why" this event of the coffee occurred. I suddenly heard an inner voice, speaking to me!!
a Guide told me what had occurred..."he" said....
"they know what you did! you treated those mexican people like human beings and the dead townspeople who Watch over the town DO NOT LIKE THAT! the ancestors who once lived there are near the town, even from heaven, and can see anything that occurs that concerns them and they did not like what they saw and they wanted to get even!! they wanted you to spill that coffee all over those townspeople and then you would get all of the blame from them!"

this bus driver!!
the very day before, sunday, he was the driver on the route to the sunday mall and i rode around the loop so that i did not get off AT the mall: i watched all of the passengars get off. there was a homeless man who got off. he rides the bus sometimes and is a fixture of the downtown scene. he must weigh 350 pounds
and he always has a schizoprenic glazed look to his eyes. my guess is that he will be like this for life, between thorbenzidrine and Therepy and the Shelter: he can only "just exist"!!
he was one of the last ones off and it was now just this driver and me and i sat right up front. the diver "lit" into this man, verbally!
"there is a WORTHLESS man if i ever ever saw one! he EATS very well too!"!!
---ugh! you would *not* want to hear the TONE of his sarcastic remarks, it would put a real big dent in your day!
just think...
"a Nazi spies a jew: good thing it is daylight and there are witnessess if he acts out, so he does nothing but make a remark, a remark like a hot wire cutting though flesh"!!!

nothing but scorn...this driver actually looks the part! looks "Tuetonic" and every hair is in place and there is no shadow permitted in HIS life, thank you!

now the Plot Thickens!
HE was the driver for my little "accident"!!
I was not in agreement with his comments yesterday[ could i have uttered any apology in this homeless guy's behalf?? i doubt that it would have done any good!]
I had great sympathy for this homeless man...what sufferings he must have had to get TO this state, and just how many more sufferings that he willhave before he finially dies!

yes, again...the Guides of the driver Knew what i felt...they were NOT happy! One has the guides that
rapport with the soul, during the lifetime: his "angels' are "second fiddle" as he himself bonds with the "other" guides!
that picture i saw in sunday school, where there was a man with an angel at his right shoulder and a demon at his left shoulder....that is a very accurate image...[read your Game manual before playing the game of life!...{i like the King James version, myself!}]
yes, the driver's guides did not like that i would side with the homeless man, in truth, over the driver's

there is yet MORE to this event!
[yes, when everything is not an accident, then there is a messege behind each and every event, a messege that can be read and learned from!]
I wondered why there seemed to be so much 'activity" to this, as the response by his guides seemed to be so strong. then i recall that all of this event occurred around the labor day weekend!! this has always been a time for me to recieve Instruction for my Spiritual labors for the year also it has been the traditional first day of school too! Life School---here is the cirriculum for my year ahead!!

in 1985, that july, when Suanna, my sister, and i, picked up the Migrant workers from their stalled car, she did not know that she would get up early one workday and enter her bathroom to prep for dressing and Not Come Out! the ambulance came...and her funeral was the next week!
she died march 17th of the next year...1986....about 7 to 8 months after that Mexican migrantworker event!
SO! i sense the reason why this event of the bus driver, was done for me, was LET to be done for me!
AT the laborday first day of school, the synchronetic events on the weekend that will give to me the Indication of the year-to-come, the "schoolyear, is this:
Is that i have "7 to 8 months" myself, before my own death!! maybe 4...maybe 10 months...but as other indications, in visions and such...."2002", sometime!

thus this event indicates the "july 15th 1985" of the mexicans, 7 months before sister's sudden death.
I will have near that amount of time left before my own death, give or take a few months!

ah, the Bell Tolls for Me!!

---keep tuned! this ought to be a *very* interesting weblog, as the months go by!! as january first comes of 2002...then march...may...june.
[for any astrologer out there, i have that june 10th solar eclipse of sun.moon.saturn--oppossed pluto, exactly ON my ascendant!] thus if i "make it" beyond july of 2002, i may have this One Event pass, my death! keep tuned!