Monday, June 25, 2001

yes good morning to anyone who reads this.....
there was a lady on the bus the other day that I noticed.
[oh the stories i see on the bus, snapshots of people and their lives!]

She was a black lady about in her middle 20s, there was about ten sacks of groceries on the seatbench and another three or four on the floor. the bus lurches forwards, at some stop and the floor bags tipped over and all of the stuff came out and rolled about her feet. She bent over and picked up the stuff and put it back into the bag, alone...i was too too far away and she moved before i could.
but as she sat there on the bench, i could see her wipe her eyes, she was crying!!
then i got to my stop and got off.

----so i wonder why and how: this is why COMPUTER GAMES[especially rpgs, role playing games] i find so Teaching to me, they train my weak [jungian] sense-sense to become more observant of the envirnment. in the rpgs, too, each person and character has a Story, a life-story...part of the Game is to figure this out...

so i wondered the why and how of this lady!
why did she cry?!
--was it for lonelyness?
--was it for her hard life, the bags tipping was a "last straw"?! her life is soo hard, surely.....
--was her "guy now in jail, AGAIN, leaving her to fend alone?
I imagined what her life would be like.
probably a single mother. no father present for any of the kids and there WAS one boy of hers beside her, surely there were more at home or in day care! probably several fathers, then.
on welfare. trying to work to get off but hey when you have five kids, you gotta run so so so many errands and doctors for kids and stuff, that work is impossible!
A Young Soul Learning, i guess. probably a fifth grade education if that. Nothing that i could talk about
would have meaning to her: i am "intellectual" and she is not. she would not know or care what the currant earthquke conditions are in South America, or even how to keep from becoming HIV infected!
Probably 'being loved" is ALL, for her! being cared for, having attention given to her by a man.
she is probably on the Path of Love...the path that for many "80+ romance novels read per a year"! when she dies, she may join the Temple Training School of "Angelic love"---to join the group of souls who Love unconditionally all other spirits and souls and earthly lives here on earth too!

thus, now, in this city, she would "go" for the first man who Cared for her, even if he got out of jail last week and then leaves her in four months; another baby on the way!
"to love and be loved", for her, is *much* more important than learning "discernment" or "self-disipline"!!