......MY PHOTOBLOG, WITH WRITINGS ABOUT EACH PHOTO
......also some Journalings about my psychic experiences.
......[This page might takes a few minutes to load, please be patient!]

......"MY LIFE AFTER NEAR DEATH EXPERIENCES"

......
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Web freestone.blogspot.com
my life after Near Death Experiences: 09/01/2003 - 09/30/2003
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Tuesday, September 30, 2003



Did I mention that I had a Dream a couple of days ago?!
Here it is!!

Oh boy! Once again, this here freestone takes on a "first person view" of someone else's experiences, in the dream lands, the lands of ?????

I begin the dream.
I am suddenly jolting awake, and find that I am awakening from lying across a couple of seats in what appears to be an airport terminal. A vast open space, with a few people milling about. Also appears to be dark, yet, outside.
However!
I have NO idea as to why I am here! At the moment, I just cannot seem to remember where I was last! I should have been at home, perhaps, but I have not a clue as to which airport that I am even in!
I mill about, somewhat still in a daze: no one else seems to know why they are here either! Yes, all of the few other people seem not to know either! Nor are there anyone in the stalls or booths, and no Guards in sight!
I wander over to one of the large windows, and see something Disturbing, very very disturbing!
Out on the parking lot, or at least in front of this building, I see hundreds of milling people and they look like they are Demonstrating about something: I can see a wall, a barricade, in front of this terminal, where no one is allowed in! I can well now see why!! As I see what looks to be a grey, dim, dawn beginning to come up [I have not found a single clock anywheres: a strange deal for an airport!!],
I see these demonstrators all get real angry, I can dimly hear the shoutings and the rantings, and I can now see fists up in the air, and "goosing-fingers" jabbed upwards!
they are M-A-D!!
why???
I have not a single clue: only that I am glad to be inside where they cannot come in!

I peer again in the dim fog, over the demonstrators. I see that behind them are what looks like huge blocky buildings, with windows and doors that strangely enough seem to have the doors and windows to suggest a face! Each building to have a face, by design!
I shudder.
I then look around again, and I see, all by itself, a magazine, or something, laying on one of the chairs. I pick it up.
Oh STRANGE this one is. It seems to be a pamphlet put out like of a large 9 by 12" Bible tract!
only the title of this tract is something like...."Spiritualism's explanations as to what the halls of the Entrance to the after-death realms are"!
I read, dis-beliving, as a matter of course, what is there!

----"As an example of one of the entrance halls to the first level of heaven , from the earthspheres, here is a Hall that looks like a common waiting room, for an airport or train station. The fortunate people are those who are allowed to enter: some cannot enter. They often mill angrily around the Door to the
waiting room, angry because they cannot go in, and cannot go back to earth! The reason many of these people cannot enter, for *this* particular hall, is that these people are "coming from" the buildings in the back of the entrance open-courtyard! There are a row of buildings, behind them, that are huge, square, and ugly. Each of these places look **quite* a bit like of a 60 foot high human head, complete with eyes and mouth! They stand there like of a wall.
Each of these buildings represent an earthly collection of people who belonged to an organization, like of a business corporation or government bureaucracy, where this organization "had a life of its own", mostly "repressive" of individual efforts. Thus the people in this outfit near-worshipped this organization like of a God! "It" came first, in their lives and the workers let this organization do the thinkings for them, such that the workers nearly "WERE" the company, in Identification!
As a company cannot come to heaven, the workers who Bonded so, are 'stuck" in the courtyard!
[I can think of one right now, they let a space shuttle go down, rather than to admit....
or
a certain Texas company who put $$$$ over principles and Ethics! ]
Thus, the workers who worked for these companies: most of their soul *IS* the company...They are are stuck between worlds"

Suddenly "I" recall where I was when I went to sleep, last night: some hospital intensive care ward!!
I am now "DEAD"!! I am at least *inside* the Door, not stuck on some corporation's mindset!
*not* a "company man"!
As I wander over to what seems to be some now-appearing Guards or Information-people, I awake from the dream!!

I let this dream speak for itself!!
freestone

Monday, September 29, 2003

MY!!

bloglet has, I see today, put this site on their
"featured site of the week" section!!

http://www.bloglet.com/

this bloglet site is the URL-link on my left sidebar, where one can sign up for having my weblog's near-daily postings emailed to the subscriber..

So anyone who comes here for the first time.....well I have expereinced some very *very* strange dreams over the years, where I dreamed that Guides took me to see places in heaven and i have seen and even spoke two way conversations with most of my relatives there!!

Sorta puts the ole physical world into a different perspective then from what they teach in High School 101!! So, welcome to my site, where I find interesting ways to look at life, after having these visions over the years. I still have them : why last night.....[another post tomorrow!]

Even if i am 62 years old, I have lived an interesting life!

so welcome to my journal.....sports fans.
I might "talk" about life, and the world, and politics, in a way that is *NOT* found in the media or even in the psychology Textbooks!!

freestone





This where I live, on the 5th floor!
tis a nice place. there are more trees now, perhaps this image is from the 80s.

I am AMAZED at the image search engine that Google has!! I will try my hometown of 600 people, next!! a tiny town in way upstate new york!

Hi anyone.
Someone from the Livejournal copy-weblog, asked me a question...

"I'm curious,
when were you "supposed to have died?" and why, if I may inquire?"???

---I replied to him, in the comments section, please go read it if you want to....
but here, I will ramble on, a bit, about "deathdates and Set dying times"!

A guide, in a medium's class, answered someone's question about
if a person's death date was set up in advance.
he said...[my words from memory] ..."Very often the date is set, before birth, by the soul-entity, itself, when to die, cast in concrete. But sometimes only "exit-dates" are set! This is where an "out' is given, only if so and so has or has not been done yet: thus there might be three or six dates that a person could die at, for that soul. But *some* souls choose to live until their genes run out!"

so.

varies with each soul, but I would guess that 50 to70 percent have that date pre-set, before birth!

another guide wrote how some souls need to die at a young age, and some at an old age. Some only come to live a few months!
then he explained how like a "mass-death' occurs, like of a plane crash of 200 people dying! First, the plane is set up *to* crash!
then and only then is the passenger list made up, by spirit, long long before this plane ever is to fly its Fated flight of death!
this list is made up from people who need to die and thus they need a "reason" to destroy their bodies so that they can be released from the flesh, their souls there of! Probably takes years, to get this list together! All 200 people, who will be assembled at that flight, will have contracted, with spirit, before their birth dates, to die at "such and such age", thus this plane will be their liberator!
however...Some souls will have reasons to *continue* to live, during that set-up time of a year or so!! Thus one such person will have a warning dream, not to fly on that date, another may have her car break down on the way to the airport: missing her flight!
thus nothing happens by accident, all is pre-planned out, from the side of spirit!!

---there was more that this guide wrote of!!
he said, in 1950s, no less, when this book was published, with his writings in it...."That modern medicine was curing people who needed to die at a certain time, so that these people were living BEYOND their
appointed time to die,
so that Spirit has to
INVENT NEW DISEASES
so that souls can keep their appointments, when they are supposed to!!!
[this was written in the 1950s, long before AIDS!!]
"aids conspiracy"??
Heavens YES, spirit may have actually given aids as one of these "new Diseases" so that souls who NEED to die, at certain ages, can do so, without medicine curing them!!!

"how awful" you might say?!
but the Tarot card, the "HANGED MAN" puts it well....
When one has as their center of gravity, Spirit, their world-view is turned "upside down"...Their feet are in heaven, not earth!
"earth' is seen as only a school, a "motel room", a temporary abode, on the way to the next level, of the next level, of hundreds of levels-to-come! The earth-school, IS important, though, but this place is only a temporary place for us each!

I "ramble" a bit here, as each soul has a different karma, in regard to "fate", in dying: like one person needs to overcome a disease, while for another soul, this disease is the way Home! Very very complicated, this matter of "fated death"! It will differ for each and every person, the "fate" and "karma", thereof!

I can speak for my mother, though!
she had, ten years before she died, a dream: that she would die in ten years, as the red sports car was seen to will come into her lane, at dusk, but that her husband, my father, would live till he was 72. She met her fate, ten years later, as that red sports car came into her lane at 120 MPH, but when my father was on his Intensive care deathbed, when he was one month into his 72nd year, he wanted to see me and to forgive himself for turning against me, after mom died: I came right up to see him and to see him near every day for a whole year. His face glowed with love and forgiveness, every day that I would see him, in the Home...A wonderful reunion. He died at 73 years, on Christmas day, the day of Gifts and Jesus-birth, he was Granted a Grace year of one year, so that he could make Amends with his son!
there.
---an example of a "fate", and of a "overwritings" of a death-date, or two, from my own life's personal examples"

freestone

Sunday, September 28, 2003

Once in a while I look back at that may 2, 1999, Dream, where my mother appeared to me!
Tis was *not* an "ordinary" dream, as , in my dream, I was standing near the front of my childhood home's yard, and I looked towards the western horizon, where I could see across the high-hill prairie, for over a mile. In my dream, though, suddenly a rainbow appeared, at this horizon, and then under this rainbow, in another arch-like doorway, appeared my mother: she was about 200 foot tall, in perspective to the horizon!!
---Was utterly apparent, to me, even in my dream, that she had Come to me from heaven! Come to tell me something.
[was about six months after I was supposed to have died and that after about ten "preparation dreams", over six months, to Prepare me to Go Home, a final dream, involving my MOTHER, told me that I am to have an Extension of time!]

So my mother came to tell me something, about six months after that other extension dream.

She merely told me a set of numbers!

" 3 .........39......99"!!
"those numbers are in the Bible",
she went on to say, then she disappeared, the dream was over.

...Took me, quite a while, now, to have a feel for what these numbers mean!
[you do not want to read all of the personal meanings as to what these mean, as they mean something *only* to me.....]

the length of my extension!
not "tomorrow" , not the day after.....
but
too too soon for "comfort"!!!!
*if* I interpret aright and there are no more further extensions!!

---stay tuned, sports fans!!

Friday, September 26, 2003



images...images...images!!
again: they give the site more life.

There was a lady that I saw yesterday, this tiger reminds me of India, and thus Reincarnation and thus something about this lady that reminded me of yet another lady that I once knew from somewheres long ago!
*this* lady that I knew, years ago, seemed to "have a problem"!! She could never never lose weight: she weighed something like 250+ pounds and her knees were not too good! People kept telling her to "lose some pounds" but it did no good!

*then* I read of some reincarnation regression person, who wrote about one client that she had, who had a similar overweight problem. She lived many a life-time where STARVATION was a way of life!
s-l-o-w starvation: just enough to eat, to sorta keep one alive, but always always hungry.
Actually......*MORE* than "hungry", as there was this ravishing "sub-hunger" all that lifetime long!
Then she lived yet another life just like that one!!
[in the 40,000+ years of Human life on earth, there were probably a *LOT* of lives like of this one, for her!!]

so.
In the present lifetime, she comes as a woman into a Time Of Plenty, a time to grow one's soul, in freedom, and also a time to be able to grow in BULK, as food is readily available, and the "times are good" economically. [are the two related: increase of weight, increase of soul-growth?!]
Thus she gains weight. *then* she tries her very first DIET!
I think, a huge mistake, for her, as now the body-cells Remember....As they are now starved, *just* like they were for dozens of lifetimes!! The whole starvation thing comes to the forefront *BECAUSE* she dieted! Now...The cells, in this lifetime, will never never forget, and they will all subconsciously urge the person to eat eat eat eat! There will now also be a free-floating anxiousness, in that lady, as just under the surface is a deep fear of starvation!

[there was another case, in the reincarnation researcher's folder! A man who was a "sex fiend", a "Don Juan"...Never could get enough, a woman or three a night!! In his past lives , for about 6 of them in a row, he was a strict celebrate monk, in a middle age monastery! His soul "teeter-totter" was very very "overbalanced" on the one end of "celebracy", thus he HAD to overcompensate, in this lifetime!]

Probably this overweight lady has but two choices!
1...To really face the issue of past lives and deal with Spirit and the ramifacations of Past Lives and come to a healing catharsis.
or
2....[the more practical] Just accept weighing 200 to 300 pounds, no matter WHAT the health results will be, but eat in awareness, not to just half-awakedly cram in "junk foods", but to eat high quality
foods, of tasty, natural organicness; and to enjoy really GOOD deserts. This will "feed' that inner soul that was starved so so much, during the past lives. A whole bit of stress will thus be relieved, too, as that "free floating anxiety" will diminish, from the starvation-fear, from those past lives!

so...EAT!!
and *never* diet ever ever again!

Thursday, September 25, 2003



"REFERENCING"
---I copied this image from
http://www.vtaide.com/png/index.htm#Table%20of%20Contents

as I googly found that this image is a good example of a, to me, a serious spiritual problem, of late.

Whenever I talk to, say, someone on the bus, in the mall, or where-ever, I find that often that person is in
"first grade mode"!
["first grade mode".....That the physical earth is all there is and that one dies at death and there is nothing else: "negative" thoughts and feelings RULE!]

but I find it hard to stand there and tell that person about there being something "better"! Even though I have seen heaven and know Spirit, whenever someone says...."Taxes just keep going up and up: no hope for the working man"!--------I have trouble "reaching into my Quiver backpack" to pull out the Arrow of Truth-as-I-see-it!! I cannot find that arrow, the second that I need it!!
Thus I tend to end up

replying in kind! Just to agree with him, or to speak "first grader talk"!

I have no "Reference point"!! It is almost as if I need someone else, out in the physical world, that I ONCE talked to, who holds greater spiritual views, than of this "first grade reality, mentality"!
Then, I can remember , as an Image, his presence and ideas, from back then, when I talked with him.
And...But if I found one, and went to stay with him, his views would be colored by his culture, anyways!
[Sathya Sai baba.......1. He says..."Anyone who eats meat is not a disciple of mine"
2. Marriage and family NEEDS to be done [aka, the Indian way]
2. Nothing good in films or the internet]

oh AUTISM!!
When I talk to that person who tells me about the rising taxes and the poor working man going down,
if there is any chance, at all, for me to reply, in a "spiritual way" to him, I first must block off *every* bit of his appearance: not look at him, disconnect completely from the outside world. Then I have to think think...Maybe up to 30 minutes. Then and only then can I "come out", and reply!
by then this person is long gone, if not just bored!
basically, I have to make images of the words he spoke, then form images of my own from these images, then translate my own images back into words again, in order for me to speak to him!!

what I end up doing is just to talk his language and agree with him, re-enforcing *whatever* state that he is in!! I find too too TOO often, even *if* I were to say anything different, from what he speaks of, it would just go "over his head" anyways. He would just then go off to another person for his "emotional
fix"!
----sometimes better to be "negative" just for the Bonding, one person with another!!

But it is interesting how most people are creating their worlds, even if they are "negative" and working very hard at it, and everyone around them reinforces that worldview of his, and loops it around for an even greater reality! A n angry person, draws out the anger, in everyone he meets, thus making him even the angrier. His rage inflames even the more, the neighbors, and thus his own escalates yet again! "feedback howl" ----the loudspeaker-microphone: soon the Guns come out, the headlines rant...."Jail Time" is his Due! Crafted and Created, "Lovingly", over all of his lifetime!!

Wednesday, September 24, 2003



{http://www.magyss.com/studios/index.html

"© Copyright Maggie Wang. All rights reserved
Magyss Studios is the official online gallery site of artist Maggie I. Wang. Within these pages you will find a large collection of commissioned character portraits from such games as Advanced Dungeons and Dragons, Shadowrun, GemStone III, GURPS, Rhy Din, and EverQuest, as well as general fantasy and science fiction-based illustrations, wildlife images, and traditional portraiture in graphite, charcoal, colored pencil, and digital media.

================================================


Images make a site look alive!!

same with one's imagination, also. I noted that famous "nun" observation: that the medical people followed the lives of the nuns, in a nunnery, to see who had ALZEIMERS and who did not and what kind of lives did each category live.
---the non-A people wrote letters full of rich imaginations, symbolisms, and metaphors.
---the A people were matter-of-fact. To *the* point and nothing more.

I wish I could wear clothes life this!
my Allergies and lung condition does not permit me that: why one day, when I opened up my Bergen Beach cottage, on Cayuga lake, for the early summer, I bought a "hippie" Indian bedspread, from India, just to hang on the wall.
It stunk!! The dye was so so strong that I washed it, could not hang it in my bedroom.
An Idea....Put the spread in the lake and let the six foot waves, in this 60 mile long lake, do the ole agitator action and I let it sit there for over two weeks, a rock on it, a foot under the water, right where the waves could do their things.
Took it out.
did not a bit of good, stunk as bad as before!! Then I just tossed it on a rock far far away, where I could not smell it as the smell was good for 300 feet.
forgot about it.
*NEXT* year I walked down the path and I noted a pile of rotten rags on the rock: it had sat there for a year, in the air, that spread.

or rather....

I noted it by SMELLING a stink of Benzin-ic, formalydehyd-ic, dye, in the air!

did no good, the rotten pile stunk just as new as when I bought it!!!

I felt a momentary pity on those people would buy three or four and lay one of them *on* their beds!
they , these people, must not have
MCS
multiple chemical sensitivity!

I degress a lot too!!

For some reason if you find that my afterlifefiles site is not readible, you can go to my "mastersite" where ALL my writings are stored, along with some other people's writings that i like that are about visions they have and end-time visions and prophcies too.

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/freestonefiles/

you *might* have to actually "join" this yahoo/egroups site *as* a member of a mailing list, before you can read the files, but you can set the options to "no email", but no mail will go out, anyway, except for any NEW FILES that i will add.
when you enter this site, click on the "files" link, to the left, on the side-bar.


Tuesday, September 23, 2003




I talked to one of the Older ladies, one of the "Greeters",
at the
St. JohnÂ’s Episcopal Church, Tallahassee, Florida, cafe, yesterday.

[there is a cafe IN the church complex, open to the public, catered by agourmett chef..Thee whipped cream is real!! I go a lot.]

we talked about stuff and the topic got around to what makes people happy or sad.Duringg their lives.
I told her....."Optimism and pessimism,Ii note that one can divide people into two camps, these two camps. I note that even the high level intelligent college professors have a occupational hazard in that they often become cynical and bitter
as they just *KNOW* that the heat death of the universe will end all strivings!
Thus why do anything, whybelievee *in* anything, if the Universe just winds down to burned out coals, in 100,billion years?!

these professors would more than burp, over the tale of my Uncle Bassette who
lost the milk contract to another company, in the 1930s, for Tallahassee, as this company offered the milk cheaper, but my unclebelievedd in a milk that had a higher cream content, thus more expensive. My father added, years later...Hee was too too IDEALISTIC for his own good"!!
---these professors,Ii told her, would snort at the idea that Ideals are worth anything!

ThenIi told this lady about how Knowing that one lives after death, surely makes for an optimistic person, as now there are very VERY good reasons why Ideals Count, and of how the life ofhappinesss, and love, really really Counts!
Ii imagined a high heaven where Ideals are *THE* only reality there, and that one could not even visit.Lett alone live there, unless one were "idealistic" on earth, before they died!]
Alas, this lady still seemed to "not get it" too too well, as, of course, she had onlyFAITHH to live by, whereas I have not faith, as I KNOW that heaven exists, having seen it with my own eyes and of my own Experiences!

Monday, September 22, 2003



This Tallahassee city is famous for its "canopy roads", tree covered roads, like in the photo. 60" of rain a year.

Sunday, September 21, 2003



this is the "Face" of FSU, florida state university! the main building, at the front of the University, I walked next to the fountain, the first day here, in 1960! I am sitting in the library now. Pictures are nice.
I might now even find a elcheapo camera!
BLOGGER PLUS WORKS!!

it worked!!!!!!!!!!!

Saturday, September 20, 2003

I made a very Interesting Google discovery! I put up a post with a very obscure topic and there it was, a week later, in google!!
---the possibilities are immense!

so.
this post is for Google!!

my name is
freestone Wilson
e mail is
....Look on the sidebar of the website, to the left!

Georgia belle apartments
apt 510
301 east Carolina street
Tallahassee, fl 32301

I grew up in Interlaken, ny [new York]. Near Ovid, and trumansburg and Ithaca.
Seneca county, new york. Cayuga lake.
I often , while living there in the 70s, I often spent time at Cornell and Moosewood restaurant. My high school was
Interlaken central school. Class of 1960, but I also knew the kids in class of 1957, 1958, 1959, 1961, 1962, 1963!
I went to Tallahassee, fl, in 1960. FSU, or, Florida state university. Alumni.
I belonged to the Seminole spelunking club, or, the FSU cavers.

later I was in the USAF, the U S Air Force. 67th RTS. Yakota ab, Japan.

there was Carbondale, Illinois. Asheville, north Carolina.
Rochester, New York, too.

other names for google

suanna. Dudley. dawes hill. sathya. Robert updyke. "baba gill"
Madison county.
Trust, north Carolina.
wilson's typing service.

...All of this for Google!!

lots of interests.
caving. spelunking. Fantasy. Spirited away. Divine divinity. Shinto. Autism, asperger
high level functioning. Adult autism.

Friday, September 19, 2003

32,727
I sat, yesterday, at my apartment writing table, on the fifth floor of "Georgia Belle apartments", for a bit, writing my aunt in upstate new York. I could look out over the canopy of the rainforest that covers most of Tallahassee.
I have been there, now, for about a week. Feels "funny" being 62, and one of the youngest there. I note that I have to be very very careful what I talk about, to the other seniors. They each know all too too well that they are "old", and they know that the End of Their Conveyor Belt, is near! They each know that residents "disappear" in a one day notice, and then next week the cleaning people come and ready the apartment for yet another tenant! I have awoke, already, to the sound of an idling vehicle
at the front of the building, at, say, 3 A M.

ambulance.

---sometimes they go off for a day, sometimes they do not come back! Some "disappearances' are due to the Next Stage on the Conveyor belt: NURSING HOME!

I can see already that I see about the same 30 people all of the time, out of the 150 residents. Many never leave their rooms, I guess. Or else come down for certain activities that I do not go to. There are quite a few Activities, and there is a ready bus stop, to go to the six-blocks-away, senior center.

but what the residents do now, is a reflection of what they DID, all of their lives. There is a painter living here: he teaches art classes. There is a "social activist" here too, working now for "senior rights"! There are many many "little old ladies", who outlived their husbands, and now are "top producers" in the Rumor Mill! "gossip" is life, to these people: lots and lots of time on their hands and if they were to think TOO much, they would have to think about that Tombstone that is at the end of their personal conveyor belt...life a-pushing them down the Genetic path to "old age"!
Yes, there are lots of Bible study groups too. Church services too. [this "towers" is owned by the Westminster Foundation, the "corporate arm" of the Presbyterian Church.]
unfortunately, many of these older ladies, and men, are somewhat BEYOND 'thinking", as the Senile-ness of alcheimizers/Dementia have already appeared, to some degree.
they have a saying there.....When in the middle of a conversation, some topic or name just is not there, the file is empty, the memory is gone.
the saying is...

"a senior moment"

I, genetically, could live for *quite* a few years yet, at 62, I am one of the youngest there!

however........
I ponder the Message of what happened to ALL the people that are my relatives and close friends: they *each* had a year, from 12 to 16 months, that final year before they died, a year To Get Ready, I guess. A special year, particular to each person.
---my friend Sam: worked 100+ hours a week on his farm, and he fell off his tractor and broke his neck, then he had 12 months more to live, paralyzed from his head down: NOW he had plenty of time to "Think", as that was all that he could do. He Accepted Jesus as his savior, a couple of months before he died.
----my father. Nearly died in the Intensive care, of a heart attack. He asked to see me and I came 1200 miles, and had a wonderful reunion. Dudley forgave me, there was lots of love...He had turned against me, after the death of wife in that car accident. Spirit gave to him one year [14 months] so that he could make amends with his son.
----Mom. I spent part of a year with her, her LAST year alive, it turns out. She broke her foot, end of September of 1974, and she had a 100-cat, show cat, kennel: I came and lived with my mom, becoming "15" again, taking care of her cats and re-uniting with her. She died 13 months later, when that sports car came over into her lane at 120 MPH!
----there are others. Nearly all the people that I know.

Once in a while, sports fans, I ponder what MY "one year" will be like?! Surely I will have such a year too. Even that time, in 1998, when I was "supposed to die" but was given more time...I was living in my hometown for about 16 months, my "special one year" getting ready to die a year later.

so what will be this special year, tailored just for me, by spirit?!
........I might just be finding out?!


==========================================================================


well been about six months or more since I upgraded my weblog to the "Pro" version. They might transfer me to the "plus" version, then I might then be able to add
PICTURES
to my weblog, viewable, probably only in the actual weblog!
[copies often get posted into my Livejournal Journal, the photos will not go there.
anyone in Livejournal can just click on this link
http://freestone.blogspot.com
Maybe in a week or four, photos might appear, probably at first, only graphics from the internet!

Wednesday, September 17, 2003

----This here NYTimes article blows me away: gotta be the *most* amazing health article that I have ever...ever...read!!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
New York Times science section for Tuesday, the 17th.
September 16, 2003
Comfort Foods Switch Off Stress, Scientists Find
By SANDRA BLAKESLEE


when life is not going so smoothly and people reach for goodies full of fat and sugar, they are doing more than surrendering to cravings. Comfort foods like chocolate cake and ice cream literally blunt the body's response to chronic stress, scientists reported last week.

The finding, published in the online edition of The Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, confirms what many people know firsthand. Eating calorie-rich food seems to calm the nerves, but eating too much can lead to obesity, depression and more stress.

This is the first time it has been shown that the tendency to overeat in the face of chronic stress is biologically driven, said Dr. Norman Pecoraro, a postdoctoral fellow at the University of California at San Francisco who helped carry out the research in rats. What is true for stressed-out rats, he said, is also true for humans.



In fact, "if you are overly stressed, it's probably a good idea to overeat, at least in the short run," Dr. Pecoraro said. "But if you develop a thick tire of fat around your abdomen, you need to figure out a way to reduce your stress or you'll be inviting all sorts of chronic health problems."



Until this work, it was not known that metabolic signals from the body could turn down activity of the stress hormone axis, said Dr. Bruce McEwen, a neuroendocrinologist and a leading stress expert at Rockefeller University in New York, who was not involved in the study. The findings provide a new set of mechanisms for understanding how chronic stress and anxiety interact with food, Dr. McEwen said.

The body experiences two kinds of stress, Dr. Pecoraro said. Both have braking systems to keep them from spiraling out of control.

Acute stress occurs when a single event, like getting cut off on the highway, sets off an alarm response in the brain. Signals are sent to the body's adrenal glands, which release a cascade of stress hormones.

"You feel anxious, defensive, vigilant," Dr. Pecoraro said. "You want to hunker down. You give up on finding food, which is a useful thing to do if there's real danger." And then, within minutes, elevated stress hormones interact with brain receptors and shut down the system.

With chronic stress, like getting cut off on the freeway several times a day, stress hormones become chronically elevated, Dr. Pecoraro said. They ramp up anxiety centers in the brain, causing more signals to flow to the adrenal glands, releasing more stress hormones. The system excites itself in a vicious cycle.

Until now, no one has known how chronic stress gets turned off. A year ago, researchers in Dr. Mary Dallman's laboratory at U.C. San Francisco removed the adrenal glands from rats and exposed them to chronic stress. When they added stress hormones to rats' brains, the animals remained stressed. But when they fed them sugar, the animals calmed down.

This meant that the body provided a brake on the brain's chronic stress response, Dr. Pecoraro said. It seems to be part of a feedback loop involving abdominal fat, energy-rich food and pleasure centers in the brain. First, he said, "stress hormones increase the salience of rewards."

"They tell the brain, go get the goodies," he went on. "It can be comfort food or other rewards like drugs, sex or rock 'n' roll."

This makes sense from an evolutionary viewpoint, Dr. Pecoraro said. Animals that are acutely stressed stop eating, lie low and pull fat and protein from their bodies. But they cannot do that forever.

"After a few days, they need to get out and get a real fix," he said. "They need high-energy foods, like a tub of butter, to put money in the bank."

Once energy stores are replenished, a signal, probably from fat, flows back to the brain saying it is all right to calm down, Dr. Pecoraro said. The chronic stress cycle is turned off.

In an insidious sidelight, stress hormones also activate fat receptors in the abdomen and belly in ways that increase deposits of fat, he said. The more abdominal fat people have, the better they shut down chronic stress but the more vulnerable they are to diabetes, heart disease and stroke.

Chronic stress, perversely, also excites the compulsive pleasure-seeking component of the system, Dr. Pecoraro said.

"If you use sex, drugs or rock 'n' roll instead of high-energy food to get stress-reducing pleasure, you miss out on the metabolic feedback," he said. "You don't shut down the chronic stress system. You just seek more cocaine. Things like saccharin won't cut it. You need the real thing or the system won't stay in balance."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Got that, sports fans?!!
Comfort foods reduce stress, biologically, and the "drugs, clubs, other "highs", are only a "pseudo-calmer", and does not really work, thus yet more of these diversions are needed, as the chemical effects do not reach the brain centers as well as a rich dessert's effects do: what is *really* needed, to calm a stressful day, is a meal of high sugar and fat!!

---no wonder those Russian doctors, who studied the "100-year old Caucasian mountain men, found that the biggest determinants as to how they lived to be 100+, is that there were, in all of their lives, years and years of daily routines that *never* changed from hour to hour, day to day...Eat, sleep, chores, at the very same time each and every day!!
no stress!
I think that they also "adjusted" and accepted, all of the "outside stressers of life, like of a drought threatening their crops: anything that happened beyond their immediate control, was "God's will" and one accepted this as "fate"! One adapted TO life, and not try to change it. Women Mothered, cooked and cleaned for their men and children, and the men took up their father's farm or business!
[why I met a man, once, in Rochester, NY, who was in his 70s, he was walking outside of the building that he retired from five years before: he had worked
60 YEARS
in the same building!! And lived two blocks away.

WOW!
No wonder the "stereotype" is that fat people are "mellow" and that the "thin wiry people" are seen as "edgy...picky...on edge"!!

"being FAT" is a biological response to our stressful way of life, reduce that body-fat and then you are "naked" to that stress, and your health system will
CRASH!
ever the worse!! "being fat", is a evolutionary response, to handle stress!
"being fat" is good, for living with stress! Not too good for the ole arteries and heart, in the long term, but far better for the nervous system in the short term. Plus, being "stress-nervous", if I read the rat experiments a-right, will ruin the arteries and the heart, far far WORSE!

--a "draconian" choice, sports fans: go back to a pre-industrial way of agrarian life, if you want to be thin, [or become a Monk-in-a-monastery], or else just accept that you really
OUGHT
to have at least 30 to 60 pounds of body-fat, eating lots of comfort foods, if you want to live in our Modern Age of a high-stress environment!!

the diet industry will Kill this story real quick!!

do not diet!
Being thin, in a high-stress environment, would be very very dangerous to your health!


in fact eat yet MORE highfat, highsugar foods. Be sure that if you are living a stress-filled life, and are thin....Gain 50 pounds and eat these foods, and be able to handle that stress properly!!
or
go back to 1600 A D, and live like those middle-age peasants, where the only changes that occurred, in the ways of life, between one's grandfather, and one's grandson...Is that the name of the Noble, in the castle on the hill, is different!!

so go out and eat a slice of cheesecake alamode with the Richest icecream that they make, today!!
do that three times a week and toss them bathroom scales a-w-a-y!!

do not become "brainwashed fodder" for the diet Industry!
Do not be victimized!!


Tuesday, September 16, 2003

I think that I will remove this dream from the files, the dream that I just put up here yesterday: there are too too many unanswered questions, thus this dream is a "unfinished product"!
There are some dreams that "are just too too much", dreams that have no precedent of antecedent.
There are even dreams that might seem that the info comes from a "demon", instead of from a Good spirit or from Spirit!
the Fundamentalists have a "neat' way of deciding what dreams are real or not: the literal interpretation of the Bible and there are no wiggle-roomings permitted!
---the mindset of interpretations, of dreams and of living one's life, in this Fundamentalist manner....hmmmm, where I have I read of this sort of thinking before?!
Enough of these guys get together, and thus begin to try to convert the rest of the world: where have I read of this before?!
"guys"., as is always *ARE* "guys! The girls are "walking behind their man", being properly Submissive!!

---anywhooo
Heaven and hell are , in my view, not so "boundary drawn with a neat line, between the two"!
there are vast vast areas of the afterlife where both are present in the same place. As within us!
Thus dreams partake of both, have both within....

In my own astral dreams, I have talked with Angels and demons alike......

Saturday, September 13, 2003

"a writeup from the past......."

I went to my own files and there I took one of my writings and I choose to place it here. This is a OBE-expereince from about 1983 or so....
====================================
the party house!



hello, everyone.

here is an OBE experience where i "volunteered" to be
used in what is called by Guides..."rescue work"!
this is where someone has died but needs a little push
by some guide, to get up to heaven. Because
out-of-body souls are still connected directly to
earth...they sometimes can be used by Spirit for this
aid....as they are of spirit and also the earth...thus
the dead person can see the obe person but not the
Guide....and the obe person can help the dead soul
connect with that guide. then the dead person can go
with guide, to heaven!

my experience begins....
I awake to the experience: I am standing in a very
dimly lit room with several young people. I see that
there has been a college student party and it has been
going on for quite a while...must be 4 in the morning!
there are empty beer bottles on the tables and cig
butts everywhere...and the students are dazedly
staring out into space...
a party house.
stale air and tired funiture and beery smells.
i walk around this dark house...i see that every room
has several kids in it...maybe 18 to 24 years old...
I, having a bit more awareness...noticed something
quite WIERD...there are *no* windows or doors, to this
house!! not a one...i begin to earnestly look for
even a window...let alone a door: NONE!!
I began to prod these kids...to get them to notice
that something strange is going on...
"how long has this party been going on"?...i asked.
"DUH....duh....days...days..."
[ here is a house with 20...30 kids with no windows or
doors and they have been here for days and days, in a
drawn out party-binge. not one of them are even aware
of the strangeness.]
I ranted.
i raged!
I managed to get most of them to be suddenly aware
that there was not a single way out!...and that they
had been there for days...i tried to get them to see
the INCONSISICY: how could they be IN the house if
there were no way to get in?!!
i got several kids to try to remember what they did
before they came to the party: one kid recalled that
he was on a hospital bed, being sedated for an
operation...another kid was in a car and it was about
to crash into another car!!

[they all had just died! massive denial was going
on..each of them had died from some condition: being
very young...the matter of death never occurred to
them...even when alive, thus their coping with the
fact of their death, was very very difficult: at
21 years of age, most people think of DEATH...as an
abstraction-only!!]

"there's GOTTA be some door somewhere" i shouted!
"there's one"
...i saw a door, in the kitchen...i could see the
light framing it!
"all together...shoulder to it"
three of us pushed it open..it flew right open....
to reveal....!

the sea!

this house was on a point of land..I could see a fog
bank behind the house, and another fog bank out in the
ocean. the waves were crashing upon the shore, about
three feet below the grassey yard, about ten feet from
the door; the sea was right in their faces, as they
all filed out, mouths agape!
"awesome...un-WORLDY"....
tis it was...the elecric blue sky overhead with fog
all in the distances...
they stood there...suitibly HUMBLED...sober to the
max!!
seemingly, the water calmed in a few moments and the
tide went out. we all saw that this fog was lifting,
on the other side of what was now apparent...to have
this sea actually to be just a harbor, with a small
seaport just on the other side of this harbor, from
the party-house....maybe only 500 feet away!
too...it was now clear that this harbor was very very
shallow, SO shallow that one could walk across it!
we all did...the water was about three inches deep!

Here was a empty looking town with a dock.
we scrambled up onto this dock and began to walk down
the one main street.

here, folks, i saw something a little strange...for i
saw that as we walked inland from this dock, along the
street, there were side streets that branched off from
it. Here, one by one....these kids would walk away
from the group, as IF each side street was calling one
person to come along it!
[of course!...each path leads to a
PARTICULAR "welcome home", tailor-made, by Spirit and
Guides, for each arriving soul, in my group of newly
dead-to-earth, souls!]

one by one...each kid went off to a side street, to
meet his relatives and friends who awaited his
Homecoming...all of his people who died before him,
who cared lovingly for him...would be there, to greet
him and help him to adjust to the New Order of
things....

by now...i had only three or four kids with me...and
the street had now come up to the hill at the back of
the town. there was a "ski lodge" type hostel,
there...
I took these kids inside...the hotel clerk was
saying...as i left this vision...to awake into my
body..."welcome to the Lodge..there are always rooms
availible here for people without greeters to meet
them"!
Freestone

===
live an incredible life

Freestone Wilson

Friday, September 12, 2003

blood on the brain!

well today's entry has to do with something about my father, something that I was reminded of, yesterday.

my father died around 1987, at age 73, after about four years of multiple stokes and heart attacks. *very* high blood pressure for years, and my relatives told me that Dudley would not ever take his blood pressure medicine, when told to do so! He had so many stokes and heart attacks, that he died within two years.

While he was in the Home, for the last year, I got to know his friend that rented a room to Dudley, and this person told me the secret of why Dudley would never take his blood pressure medicine. See, I always assumed that it was the side-effects, that stopped him: I know that there were more of these, backs then.
"NO", Richard says...."It was the blood coursing though his brain! When he took the medicine, his brain wimped out"!

Yesterday, suddenly, I now knew what Richard meant, by this statement! That for Dudley, with his very very high blood pressure, this meant this: the higher pressure of the blood, meant more hemogoblin per second past by each brain neuron-cell, than would pass by if his blood pressure was "normal"!
Thus, Dudley's brain was getting more OXYGEN than a brain with normal blood pressure. And...Thus the brain would "think" at a faster and better rate of speed, than of a normal-blood-pressured brain.

no wonder Dudley was so intelligent and so much of a "Presence" character and personality!!

*this* got me to really thinking, sports fans!!

Suppose *ALL* the medical knowledge about "high blood pressure" was

WRONG?!

Suppose that evolution set up brains that could benefit from a higer blood pressure so that the higher the pressure, the more neurons could fire, the more "intelligent" the brain?! Of Course there is a price for this, but when most people died at 30 to 40, back 1,000-plus years ago, the cost of high blood pressure did not exist.
Ah...But today, when people live longer, the wear and tear on the blood vessels, causing strokes, is a real concern.
*If* my suspicion is right, one reason why high achievers and "type-A" behavior people, and "power-executives" have high blood pressure....Is *NOT* that this way of living causes high blood pressure: it is that high blood pressure is a reason why these people are in positions of Power and Influence!! The high blood pressure comes first, and it stimulates the brain....To have these people
achieve and progress, better than people with "normal" blood pressure!!

can ya do your internet surfing better with a 40k modem or a T-1 line of 4MBs?!!

*this* leads, if true, to a very very Interesting conrundom: does a person risk becoming "Dumb" and lethargic [the body-muscles probably benefit from high blood pressure too!!], by controlling his blood pressure....Or does he/she lets the genetics take its course, and having a far far richer life, for it, even if this life is much shorter?!

*would* ya run a very high level sports car on "regular" gas, so that the very very high, fine-tuned, engine just sputters, and there is no acceleration or even speed at all?
or
would ya run this car on the highest octane you can find, even though the engine and mechanical parts will burn out much the faster?!

[comes down to that 'terrible" choice: a long dull life or a short very very interesting one? ]
or worse: Is a long life the thing to have, at any cost: hang the results?!

----lets not even talk of the "benefits" of this high blood pressure way of death, at an early age, for these high achievers: Dropping dead at a boardroom meeting, say?! Die in three seconds with no sufferings....versus...A long slow death, where you suffer suffer, dragging in all your relatives too, and eating up all the Estate in med care!!

Thursday, September 11, 2003

Hi all...

I thank you, everyone, for your comments. [in my livejournal journal]

Years ago, I had assumed, naively, when I knew absolutely nothing about Autism, that most autistic "kids" were "feebleminded"!
that *that* was the definition!! [60 to 80 percent of children, who are autistic, have also a "mental retardation", I read!]

I knew nothing about high level functioning autistics OR adult autistics!
---and ya know, most "autism groups" are still centered around children, I find. This is not a critical statement, so much as my observation...That until people like Temple grandin, wrote her book, there was just not much out there about adults, over 16 years old, who are "autistic" *and* living lives as "near-normal" people!

"near-normal"....As in "coping"!

My own childhood sees the Symptoms that are wrote about, but I never, in my small hometown school, in 1950, never saw any counselor! Never diagnosed.

I, myself, see autism as a "room", a room with many Doors into it: there are many ways that I sense that the brain can be Wired interestingly! I, myself, am not one of these "little professors"...Someone with an IQ of, say, 140-150, and very very "asperger-verbal"! I seem to have strange kinds of "wirings" where I get overwhelmed by everything and think only in images and think these images out to people in analogies and metaphors!

I have an autism analogy:
"seed bank"!
often there are types of plants, where there gets to be only one kind of genotype that is cultivated. A "one trick horse", only one kind of trait is bred for.
the genetic diversity is thus lost.
so it is, in our culture, we all tend to be of one kind of culture-type, and the other ways of thinkings get in the way of the "functioning cultural machine"! But these "different" way of thinkings enrich our culture greatly...Especially if we let them!!

---a small personal story follows.
One day, I walked into a ice cream shop to order a cup of ice cream. I noticed the menu board, there must have been about 100
entries, all in small print. I also noted that I could not see any "one flavor". If I had chosen to read this board, I would have to study each and every flavor-phrase, in depth, trying to imagine the picture to go with this, for each flavor.

four hours!!
I would have to stand there for that long!!
but!
I do not think in words, anyway. I eat ice cream: not words. I eat strawberry ice cream, not the words..."Strawberry ice cream"!
I then walked up to the counter where there were about 30 kinds of ice cream and I looked into the open boxes and I let the ice cream TELL ME what to order! I looked for a box that was just opened, but dipped into, where the very top was sold, that cardboard flavor of the ice cream next to the top, has been sold to someone else. I was also careful to note if there were any dregs of ice cream brought over from the last box, to be added to this one! Then I made sure that the ice cream was not "thawn-refrozen"! Then I made sure that I was not looking at the very last ice cream in this box.
Once I found such boxes with ice cream That was fresh, then I contrasted flavors. Then bought my cup.

I noted, then, that the people behind me were "word people". They, while I ate my ice cream at the table, they spend many a minute reading that menu-board: then they ordered. I also then noted that they both got some flavor that I had passed over, as there was only about two inches of melted-refrozen dregs, of this flavor, in that particular box: they bought a very old ice cream, that had sat there for a month....All cardboardy-flavored and stale and ice-crystally re-frozen!
but they did not seem to notice this: they were eating WORDS..."vanilla-nut", not the ice cream "vanilla-nut"!!

Thus, people like me, hopefully might keep our culture from becoming a "mono-culture" of just one way to live and feel!
Since I do not take the "word" for the object, I am somewhat immune to advertisements!

so have a good day!
freestone

Wednesday, September 10, 2003

---here is a comment that I made, to someone who wrote about
some relatives who died in the 9-11 Towers!
-----------------------------------------------------------

hi all....Your little post reminds me of some AMAZING [to me] talk by a Guide, via a medium, about "accidents"

in my words......
You would be amazed at what goes on behind the scenes, in the spirit world, when it comes time for a certain number of people to die! most people have a Set Time to die, and they have to be harvested sometimes....Collectively!
take a airplane that holds about 200 people. First off, the airplane is set up. By spirit, so that it crashes. *then* the passenger list is drawn up!! This list is of people who have Agreed, before their births, to die at this time....So that this here "harvesting mechanism" is then set up.
So then all the 200 passengers buy their tickets and then get ready to get on the plane. Time will have passed, weeks and months of this planning.
By then, spirit, AND the soul-that-is-concerned, may have Chosen, for whatever reason, to live longer...Maybe 5 to 15 of these passengers-to-be.
Thus perhaps one of them loses her ticket, another's car may break down on the way to the airport, and 4 others have Warning Visions that are *SO* vivid, that these people outright cancel their flight reservations!

that is what was said, more or less....
awesome. That most people have made life-agreements that include a set time [maybe] of their deaths, and sometimes there has to be "mechanisms" to enable them to die!

---another guide says...

"modern science has gotten SO good at curing and preventing disease, thus keeping souls from keeping their Appointments with "Mr Death", that Spirit has to
INVENT MORE DISEASES so that these Appointments are kept!!"
......This quote, I read, was written about 1950, or so...

oh what AIDS there are, to have us all keep our appointments with Spirit and the spiritlands, in spite of modern medicine!!

freestone

Tuesday, September 09, 2003

----an addition to my weblog of dream experiences, at

http://afterlifefiles.blogspot.com/


Hi all....

Yes, over the years, I have had some very Interesting dreams! NOT dreams, though: actual visits to heaven, and in *this* one, I was "drafted" to be of help to soul[s] who were stuck in the "half-way world", between heaven and the earth, after they died. I, who am still of the earth, but have a soul of a vibration that is of the heaven that these lost souls should go to, I would be used by Guides, who have no more earth-connections, to 'rescue" these lost souls! Thus I could interact with them, whereas the guides would have trouble reaching them, as I still have that "earth-vibration!
the spiritualist people actually have a name for this: "rescue mission"!
I have Prayed, years ago, to offer my soul for these Services: you can too! Then you might have the Morning-after memory of an out of body dream to have helped these souls, *and* have a memory of seeing some of heaven, and knowing as a first person experience that heaven exists!!

====================================================
the dream......


oh that Rescue dream of three days ago!

Yet another Dream where I am enlisted into rescue of
deceased souls who seem to need help!
dream begins: I awake in dream into a area of
southern Illinois: means always that this place is a
low heavenworld right near the earth's vibrational
plane!
like of a code! South Illinois=low astral plane
where the new arrived souls from earth pass through.

I went or was sent to a "Pentecostal camp". Some
campground where there were a number of people.
must have been a hundred or more, nearly all were
younger people, in their 20s perhaps. I do not recall
all of the particulars of the hours and hours that I
spent there, but I really recall one event!!
here I stood before a young man and all but SCREAMED
into his face to try to get his attention...
...."YOU ARE DEAD!"
"YOU HAVE DIED AND YOU DO NOT KNOW IT AND YOU THINK
THAT YOU ARE JUST IN SOME RELIGIOUS CAMP THAT YOU WENT
TO WHEN YOU WERE A BOY!"
---his attention was now gotten!
I told him to look upwards to the sky.
I said..."You are dead and you still think you are on
earth: but you are truly not dead: look above you and
SEE the planes of heaven where at the upper levels
Jesus LIVES and at the lower levels Jesus VISITS: you
are to go to one of these levels"! I actually said
that, in my dream!
---I could indeed see upwards into the sky and I could
see what looked like to be a open shaft, like of an
elevator shaft, going up into the sky. I could also
see that there were three or five floors to this shaft
where doors opened out onto "floors". Just like
looking up an open elevator shaft with open elevator
doors.

---must be a law of heaven: the upper celestial levels
is where Jesus and the masters live, and they have
"outposts" and "visiting halls/apartments" on the lower
levels, levels that are above where this camp was.
---this is not the first time by any means that I have
been part of some rescue effort: perhaps that is why I
live, after all my life-Missions are over with: this means
that I can aid the deceased by living here, on earth.

a theory:
a dead person in the lower realms might not
be able to see his Angels and Guides, he is yet too
earthly in vibes, especically if he lived a earthly
life or died young "before his time"!
If I were to come to his lower heaven world, where he is stranded, and stand
before him, in my astral body.... He can see me, as I am of the earth, the earth that he had just came from, being that he had just died. That is why he can see me, whereas the Guides might not be able to reach him, as they have so little of the earth-vibration in them, where I surely DO!
but I also
have the Enfranchisement of Higher Guides and angels
so that there is some of THEIR Spirit within me.
thus by seeing ME, this soul can now also see my
guides and Angels. Then he can make contact with his
own Guides.
think-----"clutch plate" in a stick shift car! One
side is with the motor and the other side is with the
rear end of the car: thus the motor can drive the car.
or...
A AB B
A cannot see B.
but if A sees AB, then he can now see B, as the AB has
B within it!
then he can now go to B.

freestone

Monday, September 08, 2003

I am now moved into the senior residence.
"Georgia Belle Apartments" 5th floor.
160 people live there and I, at 62, may be one of the youngest there! Most are in their 70s or 80s.
Winding down, sun is setting on their years.

most are happy, they smile at me and seem to be nice people.
"Old south"...Is the connotation of the Name, but I have seen many from new York city, there.

there is a cat in each room, on each side of me, a dog across the hall: "companions" for seniors, a new way of seeing pets, in the last few years.

I wonder about my dreams that I will have there, in the coming months?! Will I have earthbound souls? Will I pick up on the "fear of death" and the "depression of the aged"?!
People here do not seem to be depressed or angry, about their age or their life, so much as the seniors that I have met elsewhere.

I still do not know about the people over 60!! What I mean......Is that people who were born before the 1946 baby-boom times, and lived as adults during the time before 1946: they were born and lived in a collective consciousness that is way way different from the collective of Today!
Many of them, living during the Great Depression and the World War II, why they put everyone else before themselves and they believed in Authority! They gave their all to save civilization, either at home in the defense industries, or else on the battlefields. Why on the battlefield, if you thought for a moment for yourself, you would be KILLED! You obeyed authority, of course. Then after the War, everyone put Ike, grandfather general Eisenhower, as president!
---thus as these older people now age, do not ask them to Change, to bend.....[they began to do that in the 1952 Korean prison camps, under "brainwashing"!]

so here I am, 62, right on the "fence' between two generations of people! Now I live in *their* court, so to speak!

I do not think their are couples here, in the towers. Only singles, mostly from "him-her" dying first.
Lots of bible study groups. A big screen TV. [1950s westerns anyone???? Be Interesting what TYPES of movies they show, on the "movie nights"! On the FSU Seminole game, they had wheeled out a real theater popcorn maker, and made real good popcorn!! Probably they use that for the movies too, on that big screen TV!
[I gotta feeeeeling that there are a LOT of surprises here, sports fans!! Many many Interesting little things tucked away in the corners, like that 1955 popcorn maker!]

I find this straaaaaange! I am posting my thoughts, not only to my blogger weblog, but to my Livejournal journal too.
the Livejournal, in particular, seems to have mostly Readers who are perhaps 15 to 25 years old. Here, I am 62 and now live in a Senior Tower! I go to bed at 8PM and rise at 6 AM...."you all" may still be coming home from the clubs as I get up in the morning!!

so where does my "allegiance" lie....With the 1920 people, or with the 1980 people?!
weeeeellll......
with BOTH!

the 1980 people can show the "old"...new ways, new tricks!
the 1920 people can tell ya that "you need the CUP to contain all that water, before you can drink it: SELF DISCIPLINE!

"spontaneous living...vs Morals"!

Wednesday, September 03, 2003

Well today I am supposed to "sign the dotted line" to rent my apartment in the Senior Tower! If it goes OK, I begin to move in. Reality will not "hit me" until I sleep there, probably.
Just another move, I guess, I probably have moved 50 times since I went off to college.

I have two aunts who have lived 50 YEARS, in the same house!!
---tis a foreign concept to me, there were several times where I had to carry it with me and if I could not, out it went!
[suitcase and the BUS!!]

there are many people that I know, that *if* they had to move, it would take six moving vans to move them!

*item*
my sister when she died!!!
200 boxes in her house and 400 to 500 in a warehouse: I had to open each and every single one of them!!!
some boxes took one moment to look through and other boxes, well...All day for one box!
Yes, there were 500 of these boxes in that warehouse, I saluted the smoky mountains, off in the distance, and opened the roll-i-doors, and entered the warehouse, the warehouse that I rented *just* to open the boxes for!
when it was all over, the Auctioneer had to look it all over, so to make his catalogue up. A 150 by 150 foot square!

---the Incredibility of it all....Can be summarized by one box!!
this here box in her house, I had carried it through FIVE MOVES, it was a big heavy mucker of a box and it looked filled with rope!
there it was, in the basement, finally after five moves, I could see what was at the bottom of it! The rope came out. The rope only filled the very top of it. What was under this rope was a large large pocketbook: her pocketbook-before-the-one-that-she-had-before-she-died. I saw her, once, about five years before, coming home, to her Miami house, with a brand new pocketbook, big enough for overnight, probably could carry 50 pounds...She then transferred from her "old" pocketbook, into the new one. *this8 pocketbook was that one, I took it out and set it on the floor.
----and under it??
why another pocketbook! Another empty old old OLD pocketbook! The one before the Miami one, of course! It was so moldy that I could not bare to look in it! And there was yet another pocketbook, under *that* one!!

[picture of a cliff, of rock, on a interstate cliff-cut, came to mind: the layers of rock, each layer down is a more distant geological time!]

layers of pocketbooks, each one down was a more distant time, from her past. She bought very very good material pocketbooks, so that each one would last a long time.
I kept pulling out more pocketbooks, from this box, by now they each were GREEN with mold...I dimly recognized the LAST one, at the very bottom of this 6 or 8 layered-with-pocketbook geological strata, of her life. Yes, I dimly recalled that the very bottom pocketbook was the One that she went to

HIGH SCHOOL....1958...with!!!

Yes, in this "now" of 1986, I saw that she carried these old, emptied, broken, pocketbooks, though each and every move, that first one, for nearly 30 years of moves!!
---oh my aching back: I was the One who picked up that box and moved it, five times, for her....30 years of Strata of her life, Geological layers of empty pocketbooks!!

Tuesday, September 02, 2003

This week I go to "sign the dotted line" to rent a very small efficiency apt at "Georgia belle", the Senior Residence Towers.
5th floor.
---I might not be posting for a week, while I move and set up my "Room"! Takes near all my time, to pack...move...set up!

betcha I moved over 50 times during my adult lifetime! I near but give up, have nothing more than a suitcase: only this time, I have two computers and 50 games!

also betcha that I spend most of my day and most of my days....In
maintenance mode"!!
A spiritguide once said as much!
" one spends, in one day, about 95% of the time in maintaining the physical body! One actually lives in Soul, about five minutes a day!! *this* is not a bad thing, it is just the nature of living in the physical world, where maintaining the body is nearly all there is!
Too.....one's life on earth, is where one ASSAYS HOW TO LIVE, the actual life really begins after you die, here on earth, one is getting READY to live!
Not only is one collecting a whole bunch of 'tickets of admissions' [each life-experience gotten here, means a ticket to live in that area of heaven after death] here, while living, one is learning about the Stewardship of matter! Managing matter.
That is...D-i-s-i-p-l-i-n-e!"

strong words from a guide!!

I well can see that discipline! I can imagine how coffee is drunk, in heaven if coffee is ever drunk there. There, you might desire the effects of coffee. Tis now Done! Coffee-effect is completed, in .000001 seconds!
here on earth, you have to heat the water...prepare the coffee...let it cool, in the cup...drink it!

lets see....
if you are in heaven, in a group of people, and someone who is "gay" walks up to your group. You see him/her and there is a momentary "hate-flash" of him, as you, say, did not like homos, while living on earth. This "hate-flash" is only a microsecond long, and not very intense: but ah.........
This hateflash instantly Consumes you utterly, totally, and then fifty "Demons" appear, who correspond TO that hatred
and then the whole "world" changes TO the place where this type of hatred exists!! You are surrounded with people who hate "straight people"!
then....A "grand mutual carthesis occurs, as both you and them go at it, to the max-i-fight!!

solution: on earth, root out all types of "hates" and other "negative' emotions...
and
learn about self-discipline, as self-discipline is like "cups around the water" containing the water of kinds of feelings and that in heaven after dying, there tends to be NO cups around any feelings so that you become in a nano-second each and every feeling that you experience and the outer world will instantly reflect it!

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