I recall reading up on complainers, recently, after being treated to the master complain lady,s masterful treatment of every single item on the breakfast or supper menu that she had in front of her. there was a really good advice given on how to handle these people.
she writes.......do NOT try to tell them that so and so is overlooked for a very good reason. do not try to mediate and turn to positive their critical remarks. that is not what they are after!
they really want rapport from you over their lives of immense sufferings! they want emotional bonding and sympathy for their lives.
ah....my lady of the hour, like here I see after hearing their parts of their life stories. indeed suffering beyond the pale.
this lady has one of her sons go insane then have a stroke and had to be taken care of and now in a nursing home. she and husband bought a motor home caravan to travel around the country and a few months of traveling the son got so bad they came home and sold their dream caravan
so to be by his side, now a schizophrenic . before this, she lived in Miami and hurricane Andrew paid her home a visit and all that was left was the foundation and nothing saved, all of her possessions and memory objects gone.
indeed, many people I have talked to have had immense pains and sufferings.
and now these people, the rehab people, who like my currant Critic, are only here for a month or two, why now they each have ten Conditions of health!
she talked this morning of growing up in an industrial Midwest city and there were no white clothes here! soft coal was burned for heat and she, as part of her nurse training, in this city, she had to watch a dissection of a cavadar , dead person, and his lungs were black! she herself had constant headaches, there.
naturally these people want rapport on their terms, they do not want to hear otherwise, very often