Tuesday, April 08, 2014

all that remains.

All That Remains.


yes, today at lunch, the lunch director saw a lady get up from her table and go to bathroom, then she saw another lady come over and pick up her food and place it in her walker box.
Later, as this lady always picks up the salt and peppers from the table, she walks all around behind me.
After I cleaned up and everyone is gone, I go back to my hat, on the back table, where I had set a desert on this hat.  the desert was gone.


I once read that 30% of all people who grew up in the great depression hoard food under their bed.  the Wound is Deep.


the director told me, on another day, that her own mother was like this, she would warp up *every* leftover meal scraps and put them in the refrigerator to Save.  One the night before a two weeks trip to a distant relative, after the chicken dinner she saw mom getting ready to save up every scrap.
"Honey:  we are going away for two weeks, it will spoil badly and stink up the fridge, do not do this, just toss it out.".
her reply, with Great emotion, "but I *HAVE* to do this"!
she did, every bit was saved.
I guess when you raise 5 kids, in the Great 30s depression followed by war rationings, you have this hoarding instinct go right down to the Bone. 
when you get older and a bit senile, ....


this might be all that remains!


for her, the food stealer, or the Mother, to change, might be near impossible.  the apartment and house might be littered with rotting food but any changes; not to save, are seen as deeply irrational, as one might need this stored food soon!


wanna know how this goes?   well have you ever looked in the want ads for a place to rent?  finally you find your Place after three weeks of daily paper-read.  *now*:  on the next day, at your new home, taking a break from unpacking, do you go immediately to the want ads?  aha!  I thought so.  betcha you go there for a week too!
and that is a *little* habit-addiction!
--how about 15 to 20 hungry years, with five kids, and you and kids often go to bed a bit hungry.
NOW this Thing has gone down to the quark particle level!

---in the afterlife, you might hoard until a barn is full, for years, until the rest of your soul Gets The News that it is ok not to save!

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