Thursday, February 19, 2009
This Thursday morning I visited my favorite library computer section, here in Tallahassee. There are about 12 computers and until a few months ago, they were rarely used. I would spend an hour or two there. They even had a free local phone in the locker room, for people to use.
well about four months ago, the local homeless people discovered the computers and now all 12 are usually used all day long by these people! "all day" as most come in at opening and leave at closing, some 7 hours straight each and every day including Saturdays.
Recently the staff placed all the computers side by side in a row so that the immense Pornography could be seen by the librarians! Now each person is about six inches from the next, if I spend an hour there, I *am* in the homeless shelter with these people!
the free phone is now gone too, "too too abused" the staff tells me!
the staff cannot kick them out.
most of the local churches, i have seen over the last two years, slowly have encircled themselves with iron fences and locked gates!
today I had another realization about these people. they are truly
---outside of the 90,462 social conventional laws of our western civilization!
maybe they had terrible childhoods; thus they missed those times of social bondings, like if you separate a baby songbird from its species at *just* the wrong time, then place it back, the half-grown bird will NEVER be able to learn its species song!
too too late! even if you were to take one of these [usually] guys and have him live in your house for ten years, he probably will not ever learn the non-verbal Codes!
---the face 3,962 rules every day, rules that oppress them!
---- why NOT use a free phone to call long distance; there are 43 distant friends one needs to contact, and it IS free after all?!
---work 9 to 5 and dress up? no no no: more rules!
in a sense they see, from what i "psychically" feel, in their presence, is sort of a free floating dull rage against the "system". all systems! "the Great Oppressor that hinders ME", they might say!
their attitude about the western way of life: a finger raised in the F...You position!
there was a man at my church who came to ask for money and when the secretary told him to leave as he was so angry, he went to the bathroom and smeared his feces
all over the walls!
[good thing he did not have a gun or knife!]
he was ANGRY. they did not help him. he "needed" total help, his ten medical conditions, his homelessness...etc..etc.
any method of help that this church would urge upon him, why there probably are 40 STRINGS ATTACHED!! stings that VIOLATE his self.
'yes we will help you if you take Thouabendzadrine three times a day and yes you will be sleepy and gain 40 pounds but you ARE being Helped"!!
they sit in the abandoned lots and drink half the day. "what is wrong with that?" they may say! "leave us A-lone"!
ah, feel a bit of "righteousness"?!
just imagine yourself a woman and suddenly you are abducted and drugged and placed on a plane to deep Afganistan and when you awake you find all ten village elders
there to get ready to RAPE YOU, then you will Convert to Al-Queada and then be the wife of the village elder for life wearing the veil and never leaving the house!
you *WOULD* go down screaming and kicking, would you not?!!
exactly. that is what many of the homeless feel about our western American way of life!!
maybe they should become native American Indians, to re-create the old tribal ways.
aha! *they*, the Indian culture, has 58,361 rules to follow too! the rules of being a Seneca Indian , circa 1410 AD!!
I read that in old Rome, there were NO homeless as they mostly died of exposure and violence and sickness and starvation!
so here they are. no self discipline. no urge to work for the fruits of life.
ADULT children with an Attitude, grown older but not up! now unchangeable.
they see every public resource as something to be USED by them and each such user has Very Good reasons to over abuse any social Tool, like of a free telephone!
in the end, i place the Blame for so many of these people
SQUARELY on the Liberal left and the liberal academics!
---these liberals are so afraid that there is a God to tell them WTF to do, that they remove all value systems as being an "absolute" way to live by!
thus there SHOULD be no ideal greater than ones own self, they would infer and each and every value system is *just* as valid as any other system. like making sculptures out of shit and showing this stinking stuff in a high level art gallery!
thus the homeless now have no ideals greater than the end of their noses, nor can have, not permitted to have.
I accuse likewise the liberals of fostering our $$$$ greed mentality and "excessive"
capital isms, as the urge for more money is about the only thing left, to get one out of bed in the morning. the Greek-roman ideals surely will not Do, anymore, certainly not Christianity!
so these people are our shadows, what we all get when soul and spirit are not part of our lives and not the FIRST thing in our lives! they are us, once stripped away from "career, home, family"!! for their life-compass is not pointing to a True North
Pole, outside of themselves, the compass is just pointing to their iron belt buckle!
*got* to have something greater than oneself!!
Friday, February 06, 2009
the joys of moving
oh the "joys" of moving!!
I now hopefully will soon live in a larger apartment, in my senior residence. "Moving" is the pits. this image only shows the small of it! boxes and boxes and racks and racks of "junk"!
Each and every item nanip...nip...nip-u-lated over and over and over, each item placed and set, one by one, endlessly!
[80%, I find, of life, is "preparing for something else"!]
In the 80s, I helped my sister move FIVE TIMES in 16 months, and she had mankiller-heavy couches and U-hauls full of stuff. The she died, and I had to open up those 250 boxes in her house and the 500 boxes
in the warehouse! Took me nearly six to eight months, then after *that*, my father went into Intensive care and I immediately drove 1200 miles to live with my aunt for a year as my father forgave me, having "blamed me for everything", when he went over the edge as his wife, my mother, was killed in that auto wreck when the red sports car came over the hill in her lane at 120 mph!!
[another two years of estate Work!]
and had a long slow reunion, then he too passed away.
[and people ask me why I never ever married or had a Career!!]
I have an "ulterior motive" for this image! I order some Huge computer Object at Best buy, they are supposed to deliver it today, friday, and I ordered it over a week ago, long before I knew that the one-bedroom was open for me. I may show this image to the best buy customer service so that they can know why I cannot pick it up: i may actually ask for a refund.
precis: I have absolutely no clue as to how teenagers can order a ticket that costs $70 for a rock concert, a concert that will occur a couple of months in the future!! With ME, if I were to do this, I will discover that "life wins" and that concert would be the *very* last thing that i can attend as something else happens, on that date, that is much more important or "required"!
I hope that I will soon enjoy my new place.
Uploaded by freestone on 6 Feb 09, 10.26AM EST.