Thursday, August 07, 2003

That man again!

I watched him from half a block away, a study in a kind of "suffering"!

He bends over nearly double. Then he holds that position for about five minutes. Then...he stands up and he walks about ten feet, then he bends over nearly double again. Five minutes later, he stands up and walks another ten feet, then he stops and bends over again!! That position aids his breathing.

Older man, he is....
Six months ago, he could walk sixty feet between three minutes of "bending over".
A year ago, he could walk a block, before stopping.
it is about 400 feet between the bus station and the library where he is headed to. That is...40 times he must stop!!

"emphysema" I am told...a retired post office worker from up north.
he smokes *only* butts that are picked up from the sidewalk! The *MAXIMUM* amount of tar and crud, is in that last end of a butt! He smokes like a fiend.
power-damaging his emphysema lungs!
yet!
still!
???
I wonder how many months he has before he can walk NO feet?!

I have tried to talk to him, try to know him a bit, but he is bitter and not-social!
Rail-thin and raggy....I feel that in his soul as much as in his appearance!

ponder...ponder....
I ponder, a bit, about his karma and the whys of where he is. Surely there is a good post office pension there for him. And could he not smoke? Or at least buy good cigarettes!

too too easy for me to judge him, without knowing much: *this* man is an example of "how one could mis-judge"!

[in the larger context question: some of the homeless...how *does* one Love a porcupine-with-quills?! How does one try to befriend someone who is bitter and
"negative" in each and every vibration sent out? How does one "care' for someone, when the caregiver, me, has five Planets in water, four in Cancer...the rest in the 12th house....sensitive sensitive to all vibrations to the Max: I would immediately *become* that persons pain...pain...pain!!]

if I cannot do this before I die, how can I aid any soul after I die?!