Friday, May 09, 2003

I went to my usual Cafeteria for my supper, the other day. The "old man" came in and he sat with me. Sometimes he comes early; he comes nearly ever day like i do.
I find him to be interesting, and yesterday i found him to be REAL interesting!
"poor man", he is about 65 and he seems to act and look like he is 85! he takes 6 to 8 prescriptions of pills per day. not "pills", ...."prescriptions"!!!
I find that i have great trouble talking to him as i have to take the lead in conversation. he seems to be "a pile of jelly", no backbone at all.
he has worked all of his life as a clerk in a government office. he looks "grey", *is* grey!! he has no interests, no hobbies, it seems. his wife died in the 1970s, he lives alone.
i have to be careful that i do not let him know where i live and No telephone number. he drives and he could drop over to see me each and every day! if he were to have lived next door, he would be in my trailer
so so much that i might as well live with him, rent a room in his house as he would "need" me 25 hours a day!
he is like a "warm puppy"! he agrees with any advice that i give to him, then forgets what that advice is, in one minute! "senile"? NO! it is just that he does not relate to WORDS! "advice" is given in words!
[there have been a number of people that i had to get them angry at me so that they would not eat up every moment of my time!!]

well, yesterday i found out , to my satisfaction as to WHY he is like he is!
FIVE planets in the sun sign Cancer!
five planets including the sun and moon conjunct!

ya know, i found that cancer sun sign men do not do very well in this Western society! they are all "water' all feelings. all emotions.
thus many cancer men are about one year old! they cannot grow older as they are many many many more feeling-natured than most women! our society does not use
feelings and emotions as a way of life!
thus for such a man, he "should" be able to, in a conversation at a dinner-table, to "talk" *only* in emotions and feelings! no words AT ALL! just to emote 100%!

it is up to others to provide the "shell for this old man...."cancer" water needs that cup; pour a cup of water onto a table and it just runs off the table...nothing to CONTAIN it!
Rx.....the "cure" as i see it, for him: to do something that is 180 degrees from all the currant spiritual advice..
1...to IDENTIFY! to identify as in..."I AM a golfer", "I AM a banker"! the identification gives to him that cup, that shell: now he can let the identification evolve
him!
2...use habits and routine *as* a way of life!

or
...if not that.
then to just have him Live the rest of his life with his MOTHER!

---in the future, if he comes to sit with me again: know I know better how to relate to him! I will talk in such a way, and have him talk, as to have him dwell
upon what he FEELS about "this or that".

I have four planets in Cancer with mars in Pisces!