Thursday, July 18, 2002

seems the last few days, i "run into", on the streets, on the bus, where-ever.....a number of people
who seem "negative"! mildly negative. not in what they say or feel over "this or that", but in their overall vibes! my gardejeff-student, friend, says to me, often...."I wonder what keeps these people going, what "carrot in front of the mule" something, that they look forwards to, in their days, in their lives"?

for these people, there is no afterlife, i guess. no spirit, no need to look for happyness in something of Archtypes or Values.

Like that "scatterbrained" lady on the bus yesterday! i know now maybe five of these ladys, all alike!
there is not a sentence that they utter that makes a bit of sense to me! and they go on and on and on and on.....nor can they understand a bit of anything that i say to them!
"scrambled eggs" for a thought pattern.
why?
they never seemed to develop the ability to THINK! the woman-mirror-image to the men that i know who have it where "thinking" is ALL they do: no emotions or feelings!

but these ladys. the one that rides home on the bus near every day: she is getting to know me.
I FEAR that there are a lot of men who would tell me what she needs.....a good F..K!!
"sex" is the Language that transcends all differences between people, the physical expression of the Spiritual, spirit life, octave of Blending Auras one soul with another, in the heaven worlds.....
but!
I am Impotent: ZERO sex urge. none!! mandated by Spirit! Dream tells me, before my incarnational life missions, i was shown, in this dream, years ago...that "i was to chose a "horse" [physical body] that is Impotent and sexless!
there is nothing that i can give to this lady, on the bus except my attention. she Wants to be touched, but how?
probably just to agree with her emotionalneeds! to be angry with her anger, to be sad *with* her depressions...to be "negative-critical" in sarcasims, back with her, as she vibes in this way, in the Name
of Bonding, as i cannot talk or sex with her!