Friday, June 14, 2002

a SOBERING morning!

first off, I had this astral dream last night. I am in "Austrailia"! at least that is what the people told me, when the dream began: i was in a house in that astral location. They wanted me to join up with their
social group and they thought that my surname "wilson" might get me in: seemed to be a group of people who might correspond to the American "KKK"....some "white supremecy" group!! I did not tell them my feelings, i seemed to have no choice BUT to join them or be cast out of their world! They were out, of the house, no doubt deliberating, when my dream ended. the LAST group that i would want to join up with!
when I got to my computer this morning, I eagerly checked the yahoo/egoups groupslist to see how my post was recieved in the Xepera list. I browsed through the lists yesterday and this Temple of Set list
had a post that i replied to: the list director asked the list..."what do setians think of life after death, please post your opinions". I did. i gave references to my weblogs and my feelings that are evedent, here.
so.
this morning i found that "Xepera" was no longer on my list of groups!! I was unceremoniously UNSUBSCRIBED! Did i vioate one of their long list of "no no's"? did i violate a rule by giving my links?
probably NOT: the subject matter Offends--------someone, no doubt, who has the Veto power, does not belive in the afterlife. End of list.

THIS raises to me a Very very Disturbing Question!
in Role Playing Computer games, one should join up with as many Guilds as he can, as each guild has something to offer the player. same, i feel, in heaven! one should "belong" to as many different social groups as one possibly can, in the afterlife worlds, i feel.
Just a few days before my "one year to live" dream, there was a dream, a dream that set the tone for my year of preparations and for my heaven-to-be, when i arrive there.

the dream: I began a walking journey, much like a "Pilgram's progress" towards my hometown. In this dream i sensed that when i arrived in my hometown, my life would be over and done. As i walked the miles and miles, in this dream, i entered this house and that house and on to other houses. in each house was a person that i knew in my 60 years of life: friends. Thus i would spend some time at the first house being with my friend but when i had the urge to continue my journey, my friend told me that he could not come along. I would walk out alone. then on to other houses, one by one, with the same results!
One friend is a "shaman-type" person, here, now...but in the dream he chose to remain at a bar socializing, instead of coming with me. [messege: this person represents my "need" to socialize for the sake of socializing...NOT fit for me to use in heaven...must be left behind!]
The next house was of a college friend who i still keep in contact with. he is a VERY devout Christian, a true christian devotee [ as in "bahkti India devotee"]. a true follower of Spirit, using christianity as a Path.
I had to leave HIM behind and walk onwards...[messege: i am also to leave Christianity behind, as well as
Sai baba and other "new age" paths!]
near the end of the dream and the end of my journey, i approached the Township line [the 7th stage].
i stood by a gate of entrance and i heard a voice speak loudly, in my dream. this voice told me that from now on my path is to be A_L_O_N_E. [great powerfull emphesis on the word "alone"!]
alone to spend my year on earth, and alone to enter heaven, and probably alone to begin my first heaven level! alone in personage and alone in not bonding with any group or collective path of spirit!!
Gonna be some interesting afterlife! I must not "prepare" in the traditional sense: probably will play computer games and just walk around the city, for my year! I must not "belong", in joining or in beliefs, any "way" or "path"! I may end up in a beginning heaven level, of living for awhile in a cabin surrounded by 100 miles of empty lands! alone. As this seems mandated by my Higher True Self: there IS a reason for this! [i CAN think of ONE reason: i could be soon posted to another part of the galaxy, to another humanity, not our human race: MUST leave e-v-e-r-t-h-i-n-g behind!] But there could be many possibilities, only known from Spirit.