Friday, June 28, 2002

june 28th.

happy birthday to me!! 61 years old!!
So what dreams did i have this morning?! Not much of any, but one small snippit did i recall.

there was some discussion, in a room, with me and other people about how my
AUTISM
keeps me from really relating and communicating with people! while no "official" psychologist has
diagnosed me with this condition, i can read The Signs...from my life, from my childhood: the head-rockings, the spinnings, and the school problems, in childhood....plus the extreme right-brainess of my currant life.
tis a small bitch when, if i eat with someone, i have to choose either the food OR the person, not both at once! I cannot image my thoughts AND plce-a-tate my fork just *so* into that tomato slice, positioning the angle of fork-entry between the spaces of the wedge of tomato while listening to my dinner-mate talk
of his trip to nyc: i am *there* with him, in my images...there are NO tomato wedges on the corner of the block that he is currantly describing!!
most people have a window for counsciousness; i have a peephole: only room for one thing at a time!

was years and years till i realized that Names and actors names, in movies and books, are Important!
I failed college miserably: the math and physics have no images for me to picture!

I probably will tell no one of my astral dreams and no one of my year to live! for the AUTISM reason alone!