Wednesday, April 17, 2002

SOBERING thoughts over LAST NIGHT'S dream!

-oh it was a simple enough astral type dream. I had to walk through places one by one, as if there were small "worlds" about a square mile in size, in series: my guide unseen, who seemed to be doing this to me, made small comments about my progress as i went from area to area.

[I belive that there were seven areas....each area minics the "seven stages of my life". as i have been TOLD, by spirit, often enough, that "i am on my seventh life stage", it would appear that dreams like of this would occur, as the seventh stage of my life is that stage partway "here" and partway 'there", into the afterlife: i am suppossed to be "summerizing" my life, before leaving this world to go to heaven!]

there was a problem!!
as i entered an area, through a gate or opening, in the bushes, the whole scenery became like of a computer monitor screen that was experiencing a "video crash" due to a video card unability to show the graphics of a program! the scenry became ever increasingly garbled, visually!!
my guide then told me that" my third stage of life was not completed, back at the time that it was suppossed to be"! he then says, in my dream, [essentually]...."as this was not done, you cannot go on, you are stuck", as each stage depends upon the prior one being completed [!!].

I had a long long time to wait for my bus, about two hours ago, plus a long walk to the bus stop and another long long walk to the library where i am now....
lots of thinking and praying.
a Conclusion comes....

sigh!
as other "stages of life" dreams have been shown to me, over the years, i now figure that "it began" about 11 years before my birth: birth finished "1". [all those years in spirit planning the life, i guess!].
there are about 11 years per "stage". in 1996, a very very mysterious wound-scratch appeared on my right arm, just under the wrist, a scratch about three inches long....a PERFECT "seven"...the number "7". no artist could have drawn it better! I ASSUME that is the beginning of the "7" stage....yes, about right...i was born in 1941 so that 1930 + 66 = 1996. thus i am now about 5 1/2 years into the 11 years, of that 7th cycle: i COULD live for another five or so years....as i am writing this, i NOW see why that dream on about april 4th had the clock to indicate "7:30" as i walked up the stars to heaven!
[i may NOT live those 5 years!]

so the end of the 3rd cycle would be about 1963....the year that i crashed completely out of College!
failed. misrerably! "D's" and "F"s in all courses, as all of my Hopes for the career of meteorology
went a-crashing!
so today, april17th, is about the last day of classes before Finals! the feeling of courseDoom is in the air, so many students are near failing. and of COURSE i am now sitting IN the library AT the very college that i failed at!! so probably this stimulated this dream, being in all of the thought forms!

when those three years of College crashed, in 1963, more than just three years went down the drain! there is all the years in high school of getting up to enthusiasims to become a weather professional: all of the encouragement from the relatives....etc..etc..
In a way...as the college burned, as if that NASA rocket burns at the launching pad: not just the rocket fails, its mission also fails! Home family career, that WOULD have developed from my successfull graduation, go into dust also! all of the beginnings of "falling in love/marrying/family/etc/etc, that start with my first weather job, also burn!
[over the years, spirit has showed to me that i had to give up my life, in order to Serve Christ, in some way, where the "ordinary" social life was to not be: as my life went onwards...there was my mother's death, my sister's pain and her death...and my father too! all for them, for others i seemed to have lived......]

even so, with Spirit's Doings, to crash my ego-life, there is STILL that lack, of the 3rd stage. a real lack, a lack that has to be reckoned with. [I assume Spirit has everything all planned out: i am not TOO disturbed!]
like of a kid who skips a grade and misses out on that level of development. this is where i sit, now.

so when i go to heaven very soon, i will have that "3rd stage" not developed!
WHAT this will mean for me in heaven, i now know, is this....that i will not be a part of "social groups" and not be a part of what most people consider to BE the 99% of what life is about----home/career/family/friends!!
[like of a star that is off the "main line sequence" of steller life-development"!]
thus i will always be
AN OUTSIDER to what is going on, in the afterlife worlds...
and by Spirit's Orders to be that way!
i will live my afterlife experiences *as* like of a visitor moving to JAPAN and becoming a resident there permanently, but not knowing the language OR the Customs of the people!
I will never be able to be involved with "families" "social cliques" or of the rest of what Humanity considers to be real!

my heaven ought to be REAL interesting!