Saturday, March 09, 2002

Yesterday was *quite* the insight day!!

---that dream where i foresaw my cabin in the "afterlife appalchian land", where there was my name...FREESTONE...
and another signboard that says....120 420.....

again: I saw what these numbers mean to me, what they symbolized.
I had this dream on december 4th of 2000 12/ 4/ 2000 "12" "4" "20", as in "120 420!!
It is clear to me, yet again yeaterday, that my life was to have ended in that fall of 1998!!

THIS insight reminded me of ANOTHER dream, a dream i had back around 1980.
in that dream a guide showed to me the road of my life, from birth to 1980 and then beyond until my death....but with no dates. just symbolic events, which i see DID happen!
This Guide showed to me how my LIFE FORCE would run out BEFORE my time of death and that then the guide actually showed to me an image of me standing along the road all utterly tired. a ways before the end of my road and when a person came along with a long long coat, on...i got onto his coattails and rode along with him, being pulled by his coatails, as i sat *on* his coatails!
what an Image!
"riding on someone's coatails"!
THEN the guide told me how my life energy would be gone before my death date and that i would have to be utterly DEPENDANT upon everyone else around me, to sustain me and give energy to me, so that i could make it until my end!!
DEPENDANT.
need everyone to give to me everything and no giving back in return... a "Parasite" who is given the Mission to be Parasitic, so that i can LIVE!! by Spirit's Orders!!

in the fall of 1998, there was that dream where this authoritiveness voice told me..."freestone, your life force has run out". i awoke.
then i got sick. then pnemonia. then other events that warned me of my end...

THEN there was a final dream in that series..."that i would have an extension!! that i would live for awhile.

sigh....I now have a veteran's pension that is just enough to live on...i eat out most of my meals: mixed feelings there as it co$t$ money for this...but NOW
NOW
i see that i am eating more than food!! i need the mall, need the other people and the vibes and
need all sorts of "aid" from everyone for everything!
---for somehow, FORESEEN by spirit, i would have had *such* an intense Mission, in my life, that i would have to had burn up my alloted life-force BEFORE my Fixed death date!!

like a man who was given a car with ten gallons of gas, but told that he needed to take a trip so long that fifteen gallons is needed!

so maybe i have till that solar june 10th eclipse on my ascendant...or maybe another year...or maybe ten more years...
guess i will be a ten year old boy until then....!
life and the world will be my "Mama" everyone around me will be my "life-providors"!

Vampires are Real

and i am One, by Spiritual Decree!!
untill i die at my Appointed Time.

---now i wonder what i can do with what is left...find some creative ways to take from people i guess!