Thursday, January 17, 2002

more problems with that old man that i sometimes see in Picidilly cafeteria!

he came over and sat with me the other day. seems his furnace is STILL not working and he says "it needs only for someone to get down on the floor and light it"! yes? probably has had NO maintainence for ten years, needs a tecnician for this: not me!

the phone numbers i wrote down for him last week, he lost!
somone broke into his house, he lets strangers in at night as he IS so so so Lonely! that guy charged in and beat him up and stole $100! He was utterly clueless about the Senior center being a mile away!
betcha he is a vet and that clinic is three miles away, and he knows not a thing!

He needs someone to give to him an enema for some exam the next day, next week.

82 years old, divorced.
alone.
wears grey blue clothes and "is grey"!

I had to uttery SCREAM at him to be heard, i apologized to all of the other patrons, as he went to the bathroom for a moment, a lady agreed with me! she has to do the same thing with her uncle!
i mean...get right down and shout *just* as loud as i possibly can do...gotta do that to get 20% comprehension out of him!

I told a counselor-lady, today, at the Library, about him...she is a very old soul who is into tibetian Buddhism and meditation and Peacefull solutions to problems.

she gave to me a start!
her advice was sharp and somewhat painfull for me to hear. she says..."maybe it is time for him to die! if he does not, modern medicine could keep him going for ten to fifteen years where he is a vegetable" ----and not even his up-in-heaven relatives and guides can
work with him or have him up there with them all!

so i have to admit that she is right!
the alternative is, i see...that this here old man grew up in an age where PEOPLE did things for people and if you wanted something done, you went to an expert as if you HAD to do it for yourself, that WAS a "failure"...as you were not wanted! you trusted the experts to do everything and to do your choosing and deciding for you.
that generation put everything else ahead of themselves...what i feel that this old man "needs" is to have me, or someone, come live with him and do it for him, all of the stuff: merely giving to him a contact phone number is utterly meaningless and useless!
that generation is set up to have another person "who knows" do it for them.
so he would sit with me near every day, perhaps, ruining my meals....he telling me of his woes....

if i do NOT come light his furnace for him and the damp florida winters give to him pnumonia, then that will kill him, maybe.
that, in my prayer-walk, a few minutes ago...i accept!

in fact i prayed, an hour ago, FOR Spirit to kill him!
yes.
for i feel my counselor friend is right: he needs to die and no one will let him. [there must come a time for all of us where to live beyond our endtime is a horror indeed: cannot function on earth OR in heaven either! limbo. zombie. zud!
[the moment MY earthly missions are done with, i would want a heart attack or a lightning stroke come for me!]
so i prayed for his death as quickly as possible.
--and i Know my time to "help" people is also at and end......