Friday, August 31, 2001

yes that is it, i suddenly See that i will have to put my "soul-path" to the test of Choosing.

yes, "they" tell me that i could die before june of 2001, my guides.
there IS the possibility that this can be overwrit, by spirit, BY spirit or by choices that i can make, as i feel that a long life is the best way to approach heaven's future, unless one is SET up, before birth, to die young!

I see that i have come to an end of a road all right! I find, my friends.."friends" are ever the hinting that i really ought to change!
but the changes i feel that i must make, will not be what is suggested to me!

psychic empath.
born with a great aura sensitivity...so much so that being a healer is dangerious as i would pick up each and every condition that the client has!! good for exporing people and places though: but i live in a city of 250,000. would ya WANT
to actually rent several vcr film tapes and find that there are 50 other films supperimposed upon the one you want to see and some of these films are actually more clear, on the tape, than the movie you are trying to see. eyestrain and headache in ten minutes at the least!! thus this is why i read..."all schools of psychic development and openings, that start up in a city; they WILL soon move to the countryside!"!! all the many many people's aura bleeds through, see. thus any one person or place is like "ten radio stations at once on the same dial frequency"...this is so in any large city.

so some day i will have to move to a countryplace. no money and the only place with friends relaitives and queit is my cold upstate ny town. probably i must move there if i want to go further with my soul, cold or not!

Thursday, August 30, 2001

an interesting recall of a dream i had years ago, a dream which may help me to choose what i will do IF i am still alive by summer of next year.
the dream;
---a voice merely appeared in my dream, off in a visual distance was a city skyline, far far off away.
voice says...
"people on the ADEPT path, must *never* live in cities: they must live near college towns"

as i left the library of FSU, and walked to the relative queit of the downtown, maybe a mile away, i felt drained..today. ought to, i guess as there is an enrollment this year of 35,000!! this lethergy reminded me when i lived with my sister out in the country and she had that typing service in town, a college town of a school of 15,000+. my job was to post the bullitin boards with her ads.
all over campus and when i was done, a one hour nap was manditory! drained.

there IS such a state as being a "psychic empath"! i am that, i guess, thus the counsel of that dream!!
"adept" would mean someone with "psychic powers and sensitivity". that is I.
greatly so, this is something that always catches me by ego-surprise!! do i EVER learn?!

and i can well see the wisdom of the "college town", as "strange people are more accepted there. just imagine me moving to a archtypical tennessee mountain town where even people who move there from one valley over are considered to be Outsiders and to be measured and found Wanting!

[i would give this rambling post to anyone out there who is finding that they are more psychic than their friends and at about 20---25 or so, this develops. pick up auras of anyone around ya. become more feeling of the person's aura at the table next to you than even that person is of his/her own feelings! ]

only this means that i must move to my childhood home town area as i am accepted there!!
[you would NOT want to know how much it snows there in a year! i said "year' not winter!!! they have more white Easters than most places have white Christmasses!!]

pschic empath....that means in the presence of several people; one's aura is like of a car battery and someone lays a huge wet cresent wrench across both terminals and leaves it there for a day! drained. almost like that "chronic tiredness syndrome"

oh tallahassee, long live tallahassee: most excellant when it had 20,000 people...now it has 250,000 and growing!
the mating call of the distant chainsaws draws Suiters to come to mate: malls are the Larvae offspring of this mating between chainsaw and developers!
but maybe CARS are!!

so if i live a bit longer, i may have little choice but to move.....as i grow older and more sensitive....
I had an Interesting Thought while awaiting the 7 am bus today!
with all this DreamWarnings about how i could die before the middle of next summer
[my whole family seems to have these dreams, forewarning them, and each other, about their oncoming deaths!]
As there is ALSO an event that says..."even Spirit may not be able to bring me Home at the appointed Time"....suppose i am still alive by the end of next summer?!

---Good material for a Novel!

Living beyond one's Appointed Time of Death!

Here it is, that I and Spirit, set it up before i was born....that i would die by summer of 2002. And, everything in my karma is, of course, set up for this Timing: when the death date comes, my Spiritual work is finished and done with.
[I have already been Informed of this, a number of times, in my Dreams, of late; why i was told this on new years eve of the change from 1999 to 2000! "that my life is finished, no more to do for spirit and self except to Come Home!!]

thus my 60 years is "programmed" to be finished with.
thus...IF i do not die, i will have lived BEYOND my endtimes!!
be like that Singer, on the stage, that when she is finished with her Act, she decides to remain upon the stage, and she sings some more, holding up the rest of the performers.

so what more Songs could i sing??
here i am, 60, with no job skills and Autistic and, what is Interesting, i have a disibility pension from the vet people: i could sorta live on it. BUT!
but i have allegies and reactions to what most people take for granted.....
sick buildings...
perfume[church is NOT an option, church IS a toxic substance for me! [ i read that church is indeed THE greatest stressor for allergic/asthma/lungdamage people as the room is closed up all week and then the mold from the ac or the dust/fumes from the furnace and the rug shampoo and polish...even BEFORE the people come in with their perfumes, colonges, shave lotions, hairspray, Douches, eyeshadow, etc etc etc-----with those mothballed musty clothes from the closet all week.....]
[some ladies use enough perfume to gas a woodchuck with!!]
detergents...
inks...
paint fumes...
sprays...
clothing dyes...

what can i do? where could i live? no more karma and few 'safe' breathing spaces?!
Do i ask spirit for more Missions? or do i choose my own, at the "risk" of being self centered?
do i do "brave" discoveries, like move to another place?
do i set up a way to scam little old ladies of their $$$, so that i could live??
questions.....

today, i should not Answer them...but the far off rocky mountain range, of this possibility, must have the directions looked at, from time to time, as i draw ever the nearer to the middle of next summer...
11 months away.
between the Volcanoes, the jewish war, and my own health, that is a long long time yet!

but it would be very Interesting: to live beyond one's end!
Rod Serling wrote a Play for "90 minutes", a year before he died. years later, his wife found the manuscript in his garage: she had it made into a production that was aired on tv somewhere around winter of 94 or 95.
Rod Serling had already about 4 heart attacks and his works were falling out of favor, in the Macarthey era of HollywoodFear, when he wrote that script!
his topic:
"the man who Lived beyond His time"[of death!].
---story of a group of people who lived on a island, kept alive beyond their Appointed Times, by a doctor.
Serling's description of these people was that they had all but become ZOMBIES, as there was some kind of Perversion of soul, if one were to live beyond one's end time...IF that end were preset by spirit.
since Rod Serling died on my Birthday day....june 28th, the year of my mother's death...i should take this production to heart!!

Wednesday, August 29, 2001

reminded of a story i heard back in 1970s....

I heard this aquantaince tell it from his OWN experience, i believe him.....I believe that he was telling the truth....
strong stuff, here, about "the human condition".....brace yourself!!!

he was getting his teaching degree at florida state. maybe around 1978. as part of this degree, he had to do a semester of actually going to a high school to practice-teach...internship.
the state of Georgia had a handshake agreement with florida to have these kids go to rural schools for this internship [tallahassee is 30 miles from the ga. border.]
so he had just come back from his four months of this, in a rural georgia black school.

this is what he said.......
small county. two high schools, one white, one black and he was sent to the black school to help teach 8th grade. the Commissioners warned him to immediately leave the county after school and do not even stop to get gas...for his own protection! when he arrived at the school, he learned that most of the school-money was slurped off by the administrators....

8th grade. he could hardly even talk to the students, they came from another age...and maybe only about 3rd grade in skills. most of them believed that "it was a tv filmstunt" that man was on the moon"!
what really really got to this guy was that he soon learned that MOST of these kids did not believe that man could fly!! surely all the small planes flying over head would convince, he thought....so one day he Arranged to have them all go by school bus to the Albany munincipal airport, a city of 50,000, and this is a regular airport. he had them all watch planes take off, walk on a tour of a airplane...etc..etc...
when he got on the bus, later...they were angry at him as he was not buying them supper...
he says to them...about 30 to 40 kids...."but i took you all here to see airplanes and that man can fly and bought you hot dogs out of my own pocket for lunch"!

"whaadya mean...man cant fly!!"

turned out NONE of them were convinced that man could fly!!!!!

this teacher's world crumbled!
he knew, now, that it was far far FAR too late, for these kids: they were set in concrete when they
were ten...were seven....maybe even as they came out of the womb, if not before!! even if they saw a flying plane, or were even ON one...they would not be convinced! they would "graduate" with maybe a third grade education, spend their whole lives in the county doing manual labor, have ten kids...and each kid will grow up the same...AND if this here "new age" thing had not occurred, this raising of counsciouness in the 1960s---1990s, this county would remain unchanged until the sun turned into a clinker at Solar Old Age!!

Imagine someone who can never understand that "man can fly" even if he sees an airplane land and men get out of it! never! for his whole life.

seeing is NOT convincing, for this person. his world is Set. period.
[surely Things are different, now, for the kids in this county, hopefully?!]

I wonder what "Man cant fly" lurks in my head heart and soul? Probably there are many Many
such! Attitudes and thoughtpatterns set in steel and Iron, that i do not know about.
I have seen others....just Ask your average Intellectual college leftist professor about "psychicness" and watch the explosion of a redneck Doing His Thing!!
redneck.
a working definition!
A redneck is someone who sees just a tiny piece of reality and he thinks, feels, that this piece is the whole thing, there IS no more to it.
then.....
then he gets all emotional, in anger and denial, if you try to tell him that there IS yet more to reality than that little peice that he sees!
Just ask a "company CEO or college professor, who is from New York or Los Angeles" about the "afterlife" and you better stand way way back as the fireworks go off!!
----see the "southern redneck" in his species habitat, doing his Programmed Respose!!
yes, my posting of yesterday will probably have offended someone as it is somewhat "political" and touches upon race. these days no matter what ya say, you will offend someone profoundly!
In my Tallahassee, the springtime parade is to be moved this year to the fairgrounds after 30+ years of downtown parade...probably they will not have the parade anymore and just have the arts and craft stalls and entertainment. tooo many floats offend too many people.
make it "common demoninator". make it a shopping experiece. shopping is
what we all do!!
---i degress.

my Heart goes out to the Black race, in this country! partly due to their high birth rate, their low economic levels....they seem to be Conducts for young young souls to be born! the black race seems to have more of its share of souls who are utterly emotional...but this is little different from many other races.
why in my upstate new york, there were often whole miles of country roads where a lady aquaintance says..."when i lived there, on this road, every wife was battered, every child beaten, a rural slum!"
I, myself, once in the Hills far behind Ithaca, sawa a row of maybe 30 houses, where it looked as if all the floors were dirt floors and all the paint was flaking....and if there was a 14 year old girl in any of the houses, it FELT like there would be where if a neighbor young man were to have sex with this girl, he would be THIRD in line, the father was first and a brother was second!
young souls. utterly adrift in 2001! I have seen some of them at the bus station, asking about the busses, as they could read the number on the bus, but they asked me instead, as they can not read digits![betcha you would be appalled at the number of 30 year old who can not really READ!!!]
---computers---banking/money-----timetables---are way way beyond them!

Tuesday, August 28, 2001

Interesting experience coming home on the bus yesterday.
my next door friend has a 13 year old girl who this year takes the city bus to school so he, father, does not have to drive her the 6 miles everyday as he has 4 other kids that EACH go to a different school.
she got on at the station. behind her some guy got on. This here guy was about 6' 5" and Filled the space around him. he wore what looked to be an army uniform...fatiges, almost convincing, but he had as a necklace three baby-bottle-nipples! maybe 24 years old. when the bus pulled out of the station this guy was sitting across her isle, nearly in her face. He began to rant. rant about "following the lord
keeping away from sin sin and how everyone must do that. that is what the words MEANT but he did not really speak in words!
98% emotion!
blathering, ya cannot get away grab ya by the shirt collar emotional harange! mostly, i saw, towards this girl, but also to everyone within earshot!
No ideas, no constructed sentences...all emotion. at 90 decibals and for evey second of wheel-turning, of that bus, until five miles later she and i got off!

[i sorta think that her 13 year old Hormonal turn-on teenage change of life from "girl" to 'woman" was too much for him to handle....]

she did not come out for this morning's bus! betcha daddy will have to take her TO and FROM school from now on! betcha that she now has a great distaste for blacks...[oh reminds me of those ten black dudes in the college caferteria, a few years ago, so filthy in mouth that all the 300 girls around them were getting a crash course in racial Discrimination and of course these black guys will blame the girls utterly and not themselves for that Learned Attitude!]

I wonder, i reallized that there would be NO WAY that i ever could talk with this guy, we have ZERO in common....mostly i blame our educational sytem that does not teach anyone how to FEEL...for blackies, whities, or for anyone else! here is a guy who is 90% emotional based and no intellectual methods will ever reach him, so that his great STRENGTH only become a handicap, a liability and this Talant is Arested. He will be "six years old" for the rest of his life, as that is as far as our educational system can take him!!
"man-child" is a *very* apt description of this guy!!
He IS attending a kind of "school" for this emotional-body-earthly counsciousness, of course...
"DRUGS 101"! extesy, crack, grass, beer....
far better schooling than what is given to him in "school"!
[I feel that unless our educational system changes 19,999,865%...NOW---------that we should legalize
everything [yes, that drug too!], and have them all for sale on everystreet corner for all ages!

trying to teach a kind of "mind-only" in the schools, is like making every breed of dog just alike and train them accordingly! the sheep dog and the pomerainian and the poodle and the german shepard....treat them as if they all had the *exact* same talants and train them thusly!
so guys like this will have extremely strong and powerfull emotions as a "one trick horse" and there is no one there to teach him how to change this emotion into FEELINGS and to constuctively USE them
in life and in Spirit. "bachti"...that is not the right spelling....i believe this is the India Indian word for the devotee who feels, who follows God via the path of feelings: perhaps this is the highest octave-al
transformation of "emotion"...but who and what "school" is there in this western land that teaches this?



Saturday, August 25, 2001

oh NO!

not another dream?
yes yet another dream, saying the same thing over and over, in yet another way!

the Mechanics of this dream-thing i find very interesting. ordinary, worldly pscychology says that dreams reflect the ongoing events of the day before, as the brain processess that days input. this is added to all the life complexes and the result is that dream.
Thus what one dwells upon and thinks upon brings up that nights dream and if that dream is "scary" and you think about it all day long, that night in turn will of course bring up yet again a variation of the material, justifying the Thought and spinning that wheel yet again!

So here i have yet another dream of Mysterious origin, giving to me a messege of some kind...
In my dream I go to Washington DC and sit in a conference room or cafe room to hear that
"freestone Wilson from Dallas, Texas has won the National Lottery and gets $300,000 a year for life"!
then I look at my ticket that i hold for this lottery, and look at the winning numbers and note that i have ALL the numbers except one of them and that number, out of maybe six[like a real lottery]...that number that is "off", is off by just one number. as if the correct number is "15" but i have "14" on my ticket.

Interpetation?
yes the Powerball lottery is big now, and it is the closest to being the national lottery and the winning prize is near three-hundred-million! lump sum: not a yearly payment, but the "number" is the same....300!
my name is FREESTONE WILSON!
yes once i DID live in Dallas texas for about half a year.
? ? ?
so far...there is "two freestones"...the winner from when i lived in Dallas in 1983, and the "second place winner: freestone-now".

meaning??
Actually the meaning is very very Obvious...to me, subjectively, personaly, with my symbol-system!!
As many dreams have already said...."that Texas=heaven and specificly that Dallas=heaven, the afterlife:
this infers that my living in dallas is "objective Time", time out of time, the Real time, to wit...the time AT
my death, local Heaven time!....but as there is no time in heaven, it would be the Time on earth that i died. no, not "3pm"...but the number of something else!
I am now 60 years old, as of June 28.
Dreams have often told me, in ways that I can not Refute, that i lived a past life of a certain number of years in length, in the 1800s. then there is yet another number or two.....of years Set into Spiritual projects...that overlap and are contained within the 60 years....
If i add them all up, present and past...this will, AT THE BEGINNING OF 2002, give to me a grand total of
300 years!! my present "60" is about four months "short" of coming to 300. thus that "total" is still 299, until the year's end: it will be "300", on January 1st, until i turn 61, in june of 2002, when it will be 301.

thus i will "win" the lottery when i turn "300" at the end of this year, within the six months between jan 1 and june 28. "win" as in Freestone=Dallas"!!
Right today, i am a "number short"...one year off from 300. will be until "dec 29,2001!
---that is the Meaning of the dream, not neccesarily the belief of the owner!....now it is up to me to decide whether it comes from Spirit or my own brain-engine!

AMAZING how so many weblogers can just throw out their blips in terse one-liners! Why, i need near-pages as *anything* that i think of has layers and layers and associations rich! why if i could type 90 wpm instead of 10 wpm, i would type pages and pages for each and any thing that i write.
would ya tear a living frog apart to give a leg of it to someone?! Gotta give the person all of a sweater instead of 54 threads of it, when the person asks to look at it!
same with a dream interpetation!
i do not even like to talk about dreams as no one has the time for it today...as ALL the associations must be looked at! why there was a lady-friend back ago who asked me of her dream and she told me for 20 minutes and then i spent 30 minutes and then at the end of the talk i gave, she happened to mention that
"the bowel had strawberries instead of rasberries, in it"
!!!!
THAT changed everything utterly! i had to go back and completely re-do the dream interpetation as now it was as if it were another dream entirely! it was...some symbols are THAT critical!

so yet another dream i had, that is a warning....does it come from my own mental looping, thinking about the afterlife and my possible soon-to-be death? or does it come From Spirit?! i would think the later, using the symbols and the techniques that give it to me!!
stay tuned........

Friday, August 24, 2001

ruminations.

back in january of 1982 i had a dream. might as well say that "a dream had me", as this dream was a strange one!
without my actually having to describe it, this dream was of a story, of me going to a house of a past life in india and then to a ashram building. a story is mad up, in dreams, of images. images connecting to make the story. but those images!
they were of buildings, a fountain, certain SPEFIC images, like of from a camera: specifc places.

only...
each and every picture in this dream, without exception, were of places that i WOULD see, months and years later!!
1982. january 1982, this is when i had this....while living with my sister near Asheville, N. C. she did not know i did not know that i would be living in texas in a year, working in *that* particular building that was in the dream!
nor in a certain city with its fountain in 1990.
or in a certain one-of-a-kind house in my home town in 1994....THAT house that was in my dream.

what does this say about free will?.....let alone CLAIRVOYANCE as being real?!!

free will; my gardejef friend might say that i have repeated the very same life over and over again; just remembering.
no....not that.

and no...i will not try to Explain, here....
but oh the Mystery of it, dreaming of places that i will live in for the next 20 years! actually the last image came true in 1990, but there was that Contestant with the number "20" on his back as i guess a contestant number, in the dream sequence!!

Interesting. on december 5 of 2000 i had ANOTHER dream of my future life to come....a long long dream showing picture images of what is to come...just like the 1964 and 65 dreams of what my air force would look like, even before i arrived in basic training!
only in THIS one, the dream began as i stood at the entrance to heaven! my very first moment in heaven....and the dream showed my progress through perhaps some of the first few months there.

interesting comparison.
the very very first image of the 1982 dream was a housetrailer! i saw that same housetrailer a mile down the road, several months later.
the next image was that of a building in Dallas texas, the place that i would be working at, in a year, and in the dream itself this building was SYMBOLIZED to be in heaven...[texas = heaven, in my dream symbol table!]
thus that trailer was already "there" when i dreamed it...1982. but the trailer was the last earthly image in the sequence!

interesting...I am living in a trailer NOW and was in dec of 2000. thus the "next image, 20 years later IS of a building in heaven and that timing would put it somewhere around nov 2001 to may of 2002: one year, more or less....I had not thought of this until today!
BIG DREAMS have lyers and layers of meanings, multiple meanings. there was one year between the 1982 dream and the texas building...do i have one year from 2001?!!

so does this mean that the two dreams...1982 and 2001...are linked in a 20 year cycle?!
probably!
and that each image is an octave of one another, one level up! thus in "one year' from the dream...i will be living in a building that is in heaven...one year from the 2001 dec 5 dream, give or take a number of months...as that first 1982 image was of a house trailer ON EARTH [across a bridge from the past life place!] and i am living IN a house trailer now....

number xxx experience that keeps giving to me the same news....over and over......keep tuned!!
here is an edited letter to my Aunt in Upstate ny....

well hi R....! i took your letter to my computer at the library as the mail came so so late yesterday that it was in my box at 7 am so i took it with me so you will be TREATED to a letter that you can actually read!

that russian prophecy, by the evnagelical people, was awesome. but not real news to me! everytime a person dies on either side jew or arab, there are 500 more relatives who swear vengence! there are many who see a persecution and major war coming from this...probably some day the temple WILL be rebuilt, but upon the rubble and ashes of Jeruselum!
it will fester and fester until......
I will return the article to you soon. Yes, enjoy the INDIAN SUMMER of the days of america, it will be a
"neck and neck" horse race between whether you will die of old age first [ she is 76 ] or else WW III/great recession will FROST america!! thus indeed, your indian summer of you and husband and all the good stuff that you do with your days and weeks...will be a very good experience for you two: DO IT NOW while their still is yet a good time for to do it!
I read that everywhere, the restoration of old buildings...the Reunions of families...the festavals...like a great grand Indian Summer for us all, before the great FROST comes...
make hay while the sun shines.
being saved in the lord is the first order of doings, of course, .but there is MORE to do: that is to "grow in the spirit of the lord"! you have heard the phrase, no doubt..."babes in Christ", refering to someone who is saved while young but did nothing with that salvation afterwards so that their Saved Soul was like a baby when they died! all of those reunions and trips are like "baking the dough" as you two feel and think spiritual thoughts as you have all of these wonderious events. just seeing them as "wonderious" is a Spiritual growth thing itself!! why so many people i know and you know just are consumed with anger and concern and are depressed and bothered these days. same events same reuinions, but a whole different reaction inside their souls! in fact, a GOOD "indian summer". in a spiritual way, is TO just travel about to concerts and events and gatherings of friends and relatives! to sum up, to "bake the dough" of consumations, of friendships...one does not have to suffer suffer at the end of life, whether as a country or as a person: you know yourself of people who "went down hard" at the end of their lives...i wonder how J--- handled it when the doctor told him that he might die in a month?
would seem that cynical j----, still young, still unrepentant, was angy and bitter at his litteral
death sentence, his Military Orders upon the table, giving a date and time for to Move To heaven! WAS he bitter? did he "go down hard", as some Warden's put it, as the condemed killer was being prepared for the electric chair death row waiting period! nothing like walking into the doctor's office with just a headache and next week being told that the Cancer will kill you in a month, to Get Ya Going into some state of mind or another?!!
[this guy walked into the doc's office with a headache and was told he had a rare blood cancer...dead in a month!! he was always cynicla and used people for his own self-interests...]
you too r.... have a sort of "Orders for heaven" in just your age alone...let alone any WW III or earthchanges!
so I enjoy reading about your Indian summer activities, ...please tell me them even if they seem 'trival"!

as my own letters have Inferred, i at 60 feel that i have not very long either...WW III or earthchanges may come first, for me...dangerious times for me....this is one reason why i have considered visiting/moving back there...one: to see you all. two: quiet walks alone with the lord in the countryside.

oh amtrak! i checked again...they are getting "like the rest of the travel industry---gotta have six computers to keep up with so so many options! the lady i talked to just NOW at 9 am, not so nice and pleasent, told me that the fare was $359!! that it changes minute by minute and day to day! plus she gives schedules that are different from their own master list!! where is that $250 fare i got last week?!
If i made a visit then decide to live there and then come back to get my stuff, the cost would be $700!!
!!!!
too much! way way too much! sorta puts me in a small bind.............

in the end, i may just forget about it all. period!

oh i supposse there is always a "Lordly" intervention, if the Need for me to come is large...like M..... suddenly "discovering" that he needs to rent the upstairs apt...but i think, as i recall, he is using it as a studio now...not an option. there are not that many places there to begin with!
That amtrak pronouncement just Set Me back! $359 round trip. even greyhound is something like $300 unless some exotic fare exists...why i will call them to find out!
I will pray: probably my prayer will be like this:
"Lord...if i am suppossed to come visit or live, you will provide: if not, then it will all fall away, and i will find it not to come at all, at least until next year"!

they sprayed and i have not had any reaction or hardly any smells of spray! i am glad that i do not actually live under the spray zone!
HEY, the headlines this am has now one or two dead crows found in WINDSER ONTARIO!..that is 100 miles west of toronto! nile virus for YOU too!!

love...freestone....
=====================================

Thursday, August 23, 2001

a small sad day.

but i Expected this!!

[I sent out the last two days entries to four friends and to three or four other newsgroups]
----where i said,
"">>[8/22/2001 7:19:32 AM | freestone wilson]
I had an interesting experience at the cafeteria yesterday!!

seems as i went down the line, where I ordered my roast beef, i chose to tell the server that "i want
please for the gravey to be put in a dish on the side". I got an interesting reaction from her! >>""
>>

I got one reply back. here it that reply!
=====================================================

[[freestone: you sound like you are a very sensitive
person and have great qualities. you could be a
healer someday which will be greatly needed in the
times to come. just one thing, you said that you
ordered "roast beef." you speak of all the beauty and
peace all around you but don't you realize the
suffering, pain and violence that goes into animal
slaughter. and that you literally eat those subtle
vibrations along with the physical flesh and blood?
animals suffer so much and we have no right to take
their lifes simply for the gratification of the
tounge. i beg you to consider this and take the next
step into a higher consciousness of purity and
humility. thank you.]]
====================================================

this is why I may *really* move back to my rural upstate country and spent time awalking the Alone Roads. yes i agree with the "vibes" of the "dead Meat" and the horrors of the slaughterhouse, but what about the server who was angry?!
---A_N_D what about the vegetarian place that i went to once where ALL of the help and the owner was ANGRY??!!
I eat anger 100 different ways, daily....wanna eat some anger up to the eyeballs in .0034 seconds?
why just take a walk on the sidewalk next to a six lane street, a main street, in a big city, at rush hour!!
Rage Rules. i always get angry by the time i walk a block or two...i actually find that in this ever-growing tallahassee, i do not like to take walks anymore as *every* street has cars on it; people in a hurry and angry/impatient! on that rural Seneca County road, there was a certain house that i could not meditate near and about 300 feet in each direction. pyschic field, see. every rural home emits a field of aura vibrations from those who live there. i am more sensitive there in the country. here in a city it is like trying to listen to 59 radio stations on the same dial-frequency at once!

anyway...this critic: she is saying.."if ONLY you. freestone, would come around to MY way of experiencing spirit, then you would be OK and you are NOT ok, now! Probably Jesus ate meat.
what DOES this lady DO as that salad she eats is Shrieking in Agony as her teeth crunch through those LIVING cells of the green salad leaves?! cooked meat is "dead flesh". all vegie food is "alive" just as the vegetarians SAY it is!! eating alive food means that you KILL it as you eat it.
but really. my own Path seems to be an order of difference, an octave greater, of "difference"
than most of the differences between people on spiritual paths! really really different!!
like: how Jesus can be real but the Churches that formed around Him, often are dead and are full of dogmic judgements upon the belivers who differ.

as the native American says....to the deer as he shoots that arrow through its heart..."i thank you brother for providing your life to keep my life going"!

yes, you will no doubt, reader, if you follow my weblog...read a really really different worldview from what is out there...from me!

Wednesday, August 22, 2001

well, I am going to comment about the article that i just wrote about three hours ago. [ its the article below this one! ]

as i say, i spent many a morning and a quite a few meals too, in my hometown cafe in Interlaken, ny. the owner always had three or four girls working there, often their friends would come by. Girls about 18 to 25, usually with kids and NO husband. I wouls sit there and hear the same five to ten words each and every day.
jail...restrainting order...my ex...fight...fuck...bitch...sick...car break down...parole....police...drunk.

every day, a pudding with the sauce of "anger' liberally applied and poured over....these ladies.

The Finger Lakes. this Interlaken is at the very heart of the finger lakes. a region of great beauty. This region is famous for the statesmen and women's rights leaders and the religions that were started there. People come from all over the world to see the deep lakes and the rolling hills and mountains.
the native Americans always believed this spot is where the Great White Spirit put his hand down upon the earth, where God mades contact with the suface of the earth!
oh the pretty clouds, the great vista-views, the wildlife, why one day, coming back on the bus, about 600 feet from the town
limits i saw a 80 acre field with about 6000 canadian geese standing in the field, with about twenty deer in the background, some with antler-racks six feet across!! i could have yelled, at that spot: the post office and the cafe could have heard me!!

I thought.
Too bad some of all that beauty and mystery and spirit could not get somehow INTO the hearts and souls of these ladies Who Bitch all the time! They seem to see none of it, none of any of this great pretty sky and wonderfull vistas of the lakes: all they can see is Pain Pain and they choose Pain with other Pain people! if even a bit of this spirit could become within them, why there would be Real Supernatural magic done here! if they had this "spirit
of the Finger Lakes" within them, why that would have them be able to see it outside of them even the better! Too, they would ATTRACT the people and events to them, by "like attracts like".

the very vibration of this, in them, would draw good events, wonderfull people, to them. Let alone wanting to be near things and people who would rapport in kindred to this spirit of beauty--truth--love! they would let go of all the negative things and reach out for a better way of living. like a magnet, drawing.
yes, if they could get that "spirit of the Finger Lakes" into their hearts and souls----
but that is the Indian's Great White Spirit"! this is what is suppossed to be the indweller of the Finger lakes!
translation for us americos.....
GOD!
the Lord!
they would have to accept that God is Real and that all of the Associations with God are also real, like of heaven and personal Survival
and the like...If they could do that, then they could claim that for themselves!
A Real Good Place to begin this, is to have these ladies accept his Son JESUS into their hearts and souls, thusly their lives!
then He would be their essence of "the Finger lakes" and His own essence, the Holy Spirit, would radiate outward from them and draw a better life towards them as they in turn are drawn to reach out for a happier, more Loving, way of livings!
I had an interesting experience at the cafeteria yesterday!!

seems as i went down the line, where I ordered my roast beef, i chose to tell the server that "i want
please for the gravey to be put in a dish on the side". I got an interesting reaction from her!

seems that i could actually feel her RAGE, her anger that she had to do that for me, to go for just a moment to get a dish and put some juice in it to give to me! anger way way out of porportion for such an asking for act: after all, they are supposed to be there to serve?!!

well....i thought for a moment, at my table...I tried to put myself into her shoes and tried to IMAGINE why she might be so so angry at having to do this small extra step.

[warning: stereotype thinking will occur, here, must occur here, as there are no ways that i can know the life of the server personally]

yes the server.
the job is awfull, of course. even if the company is a good company to work for, the very work conditions are not of the best, on your feet all day and everyone tell ya what to do!
too...i can just imagine that everyone tells her what to do and that is the trouble! everyone wants her to do this and do that...she has three kids with no husband and maybe each kid has a different father.
the parole people are on her last guy for skipping, and she herself is on parole too for drugs and that Complex she lives in has more drugs and booze than you want to know! the child support people made her go to work...her benefits run out...so "workfare" is her fate! her social worker, her parole officer, her man, the kids, the "ex" with his restraining order---all tell her what to do and to get fucked!
her car is about to give out, the toilet does not work and the landord is a company in new jersey!
she is behind on e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g...the lights the phone the car, the medicine for the kids and maybe you, reader, might give to her $900 right now this second for medicine for the kids: she will need more money of course tomorrow and the day after.....no matter HOW much you give it will never never be enough, she will come at ya with "real Needs" each and every day!

of couse she has anger! she wants and no one gives! she wants love and she sleeps with anyman who gives to her a bit. she wants Respect, she wants to feel attended too---so many needs and wants and everyone around her seems to get a few of them taken care of but her...and just LOOK at all those
rich uppity white-ies that come through the line with everything going for them and they tell her what to do for them.

yipes!
a Young Soul on the Learning Path! every attempt at life turns into trouble...she is given all the emotional Drives that come with being a human being, with no self disipline or intellect to handle life and to handle her great emotional needs.

in my home town diner cafe, for three years as went there... hearing from the young ladies who worked
behind the counter, why i would hear the same words over and over and over, every single day and i would hear all of them in about twenty or thirty minutes.
----restraining order.
----fight
----drunk
----accident
----my ex
---jail
---fuck
----social worker
----police/sherrif
----bitch
ah so........how can you teach a man to fish for himself, instead of just giving him a fish a day...when he knows not what a pole is, a line is, a hook is, a worn is!! or even that one CAN fish!?

Tuesday, August 21, 2001

yet more Interesting Dreams....In this one, of a couple nights ago, I was on a train, a train that was going on a excursion to the Adarondack mountains in Upstate new York.
[I am from the western upstate, and to me those mountains, in a state park that is larger than the state of Rhode Island, 60+ miles across, is the Ultimate wildness. 5000 ft mountains, to closest to heaven...]

when the train came to the end of the line and i got out, i recall making a huge point of it to say that
this is the end of the line, as far as i can go. The elevation of this station is 1660 feet". i said that, this number.

---what i MEANT, in my dream, is..."this is the end of my life, as far as the body goes, or else the spiritual mission-ness of it, it is as far as i can go: i retire or die, now!!"
---and the number is 166. [in my dreams, that is so...the finial "zero" is dropped, in numbers]

?????
I know what is made up to add up to 166! the only varible, outside of several other numbers, that adds up to 166, is my currant age. it would be 60. must be 60 to make 166.
i turned 60 at the end of June of THIS year: i am 60 now!!

!!!!!!!
I will have 10 or less months to find out! in this here train dream, i was telling myself a messege, a messege that i have been getting a LOT of, of late.....in my dreams!
If i live this out, folks, as of now, i plan to move back to my rural upstate ny town of 600 people
before June of 2002. back to cold and snow but alone country roads where there are far far fewer people...and RETIRE as many other dreams tell me that my "spiritual missions are completed"!
[why there was a dream just a few days ago where i went to my Interlaken High School and went to the Guidence office to see about my soon-to-come GRADUATION and he told my my senior finial
grade point average!! the GRADE, the grading of that "spiritual missions"!! an actual number!
i remember it, but it is symbolic and only known to me!!
{i passed]!!

so this here journal should be interesting, between now and july 1 of next year. if it stops...it does not neccessarily mean that i have died! it may just mean that i have moved to the area of Interlaken where
it will be awhile before i can get a phone/internet connection...i would hope the one room library still has that computer, a one room library actualy had an internet computer! but then again 1998 interlaken was surprisingly connected...perhaps the nearness to cornell university helps: interlaken may be rural...but not all "rednecky"!!

Monday, August 20, 2001

I note, from a couple of my entries, that i sometimes seem to be a bit "preachy"!

I think i know why.......
Seems that most of what i have known and experienced, over the years, seems to fit no one's mold, no one's accepted way of life!
thus whatever i say, would offend someone!! so i am always in "reaction-mode", trying to "defend"!!
take my Visions of the afterlife. one could maybe assume that the Christian church people would be overjoyed at reading my accounts. i have found that NOT to be the case! ABSOLUTELY not!! most of them get vey *very* upset as my experiences of the afterlife DO Not Appear On Their Map of "The Way It Is Suppossed To be"! they come back at me with anger or pity as I "obviously" am a tool for Satan as any perception of the heavens must not really be of THEIR heavens, it obviously must be of hell!
thus i am always trying to "defend" my position and i always lose lose, as they can outtalk me in speed and wordyness everytime!

---and the new agers??
I have heard the sound of shattering glass manyatimes as i happen to mention that i love roast beef for dinner!
in order for me to be accepted in THEIR camp, i must fit their pattern 101%! I deeply offended one person when i told him that i was allergic to the incense that he was burning over in the corner and would you please put it out until i leave! He became all upset and told me "how dare you tell me that my most spiritual symbol you find intolerable"! ah...but bronchial and lungs are physical and he lived in his head, over this matter...MUST i have had to dig out my medical record of the 20 days in the hospital near death with Empyma/pnumonia due to fume exposure five years before AND that two weeks in the Air force with Chemical-induced Bronchitis: must i show him my Veteran's 60% disability-pension papers?! i did not as i knew it would not do a lick of good!!
"Incense is Spiritual=Truth" is engraved in his brain!! mere facts do not sway!
Actually, i have much much more in common with the "materialists" who shop and consume as they are royally growing their souls
with Tools boughten-----tools to use in their spiritual growth, and "spiritual growth", to me, means 50% spirit and 50% earthly, TOGETHER as one, at the same time and space!

so i "preach" a bit.
but no one hears me or listens to me. nor do i expect them to. "Heaven' is like "gravity"...you do not have to believe in it, but it is still there for you! you will arrive whether you believe in the afterlife or not, your subscription to "this" religion or "that" path, matters not!
the only thing that matters is the proper completion of "level 1", completing the Quests on level one, the physical world, before leveling up to the next level, and there are many many levels ahead of level number 2, also! after levelup, then your Points can be alloted into Characteristics and Talants, there, in the afterlife. sounds like a computer Role-playing game doesn't it? I play rpgs a lot, now i am on "Ultima IX".....think "daggerfall" or "Baldur's gate"....whatever Talants you work on here will mean the corressponding afterlife Stats will be leveled up and the additional earned points can be alloted to these stats.
Nothing to do with religion or paths....think "computer rpg" and leveling up! If you only "hate" or be "negative", herenow, you will be able to only Increase THOSE talants to even greater strengths, there, after death!
there was an intriguing article in the Times about "Las Vegas and Gambling"
the article says that in effect the City Commision has studied the results of the income generated by gambling and they were amazed....gambling has fallen to number two, on the income generating list, for the city! Las Vegas and gambling is number two?!!
just what is number One?!

shopping!

people go to vegas to shop.

this times article went on to say that THEIR studies have indicated that over 60% of all people
interviewed say that their primary reason for their vacations is to go just to shop.

For a moment, i had trouble with this!!
I knew that we as a people were "Materialistic" but this takes the cake! i agree with the Times in their assessment...reminds me of this Ithaca, ny, hippie lady who i saw one day having a yard sale to "lighten her load", she had 60 to 80 feet of rope between trees to support that 70 feet of solidly packed coathangered clothes. this was only what she had decided to clean out, she was not moving: her "good stuff" she kept!

then I realized the irony of this.....how we all shop till we drop. how i would have to AGREE with all of this "materialisms"!!

High School Art Class---would ya want to go up, at the beginning of the school year, the very first day of Class, and get from the teacher's supply room, ten colortubes of pigments, or one hundred tubes of one hundred shades of pigments....for your Art projects for the year-to-come?!
would you want to paint you pictures with ten different colors or one-hundred unique colors?!
EACH of the "shopped items" that you buy, could become a means to grow your soul into Expressions...
that new software...that new dress that actually IS the one dress that brings a particular man into your life...that book that turns out to be "life changing", when read....that poster that you buy to hang on the wall in your dormroom and it inspires you to actually GO to England for Summer School, in the student exchange program, that summer!....

thus each and every thing that is bought, can be a means to grow your soul...

Tools.
Tools that are turned back Into The Supply Room at the End Of the Day, when the life is over.
tools that are used for something, not as an end in themselves.
USE, not Attachment, is the Way......I find!

Friday, August 17, 2001

This morning i came to my usual "uptown cafe" at about 7: 40, only to find that one of the student helpers was just unlocking the door!
should have been someone there at 6 am! the student helpers, about three or four of them, should have had all the prep work done. I duly noted that there was talk yesterday there about the "all night party" that was to come.

yes, ever since my FSU 1960 dorm days....THURSDAY is THE party night!

well, i do not put down parties, but hey!
brings to mind, to me, just how the actions of a person can easily affect the lives of 1500 people, within a day! by them party-ing, there is carryouts that were not delived at all, as on friday that cafe sends out dozens of "breakfast platters", by 7:30 am, to state offices and to other city offices. then there are the regular customers. thus these 3 or 4 kids negatively affected the lives of maybe 100 to 300 people, by 8 am!
Sermon! warning follows!---
we are all interconnected and what ever you say , do, or even think and feel, will affect people around you! the ripples go out from your dropped stone in the pond out, out, out. why even coming to a cafe table and sit there depressed will affect each and every customer at the tables around you.
If you are a "opener' of a cafe and you decide not to come in just "because", you will keep customers from having their morning coffee and breakfast, souring their morning. In turn, THEIR bad attitude, due to their missing their coffee, will in turn be passed onwards, to their clients and their co-workers, for hours and hours...
can you imagine a court giving a "stronger sentencing" to a convicted "criminal" just because someone did not show up when they were suppossed to to open up and start the coffee, at the cafe across from the court house! the Jury and judge were in a bad mood: no coffee or donuts!! thus this criminal had to spend another four years in jail! his wife gets a divorce and now the three kids reap that divorce: the wife lost patience, after a few years of his sentence, a sentence that was "too long" for her to wait.
Three kids now suffer "BECAUSE" a person did not "feel" like coming in that morning!!
---the dominoes just keep on falling, the ripples go out and out.
From my living in my little home town of 600 people, i saw how one person could affect the lives of all 600, within days!!

Thursday, August 16, 2001

I read today in the Tallahassee Democrat....."Blairstone road plan is approved"!
----the suburbians out there have been fighting this road for years and years; bogged down in litagation and fighting, some resisents have spent over $30,000 on fighting it.
basicly, 10,000+ people moved out of tallahassee to get peace and Quiet, into the numerious suburb commities that are a-growing and they do not want the city to come to them.
but!
little do they realize, as i see it, that THEY brought the road to them as so so many people moved out into the country to get away from the city, they made the city come out there! gotta have roads to serve the 10,000+ people! right?! tis always like this: all refugees from noise and mess, who move to pristine envirnments, always end up being one of the population of the NEW MEGOPOLIS that is formed FROM the gathering of these refugees.

---like that Guy at Krispy Kreme, in 1990 Gainesville who got up from the counter and pushed his backpack aside and ranted in great anger to one and all about what he read about those "1000 people a month who move to Florida and mess up the envirnment with over-population and crowds" he spoke of coming down from Cleveland las week and finding that there are too too many people in florida, even in gainesville.
someone got up from the counter and publicly CORRECTED him!!
told him that actually 1001 people came to florida last month and that HE was number "1001"
This person then pointed out the rantor's backpack and said that here was a guy who came down from Cleveland to escape the crowds and that he now was adding to the crowds of florida: utterly contradicting his personal rant! that he was AGREEING with the idea that crowd/polution-oppressed people SHOULD come to florida and the more the merrier...maybe 10,000 a month should now come: that this guy was in utter agreement with this!!
[all peacefull hippy communes turn into circuses with sewer overflows and muddy paths with gifte shoppe and paved parking lots and a entrance leaseform that is sixteen sheets long: mostly of "do nots"!----eventually!!]

so...what to do?
someday we all may HAVE to actually go back to "1950"!
this is where "psychology of adjustment" was THE self help book! you adapted TO where you were
and happiness lay in how much you fit yourself into what you family-community-town-country had to offer,
and you married the first person who came along and spent your lives together till death and took the very first job and stayed with it until either you or the job ended. And..lived in the same house for 30 to 50 years. I met a man in Rochestor ny, in the 70s, who was out walking near his old job-building. he worked in the very same building for 60 YEARS!! and he lived two blocks away. still lived two blocks away, probably in the same house. musta been 80 years old.
ying yang.
gotta be a balance between those two Poles!

otherwise, the Atalntas will cover the whole of georgia and *every* bit of western forest will have a house in it and "L A" will be the model for all of our cities!
Ponder.
I got to thinking about these Dreams that are getting Ever The Insistant! These dreams frankly are telling me the same Messege, over and over and over, in different ways, much like of a large Onion that is sliced where each and every slice shows a different part of that onion; but it is the one onion. And these dreams are yelling to me ever the more stridently!!
my "onion"?
that i have less than a year to live!!

Whoa here!!
I have had these types of Dreams before and indeed some major life event occurred: the "Death" was Symbolic-only, a major life-change, where something had to die and something New was born.
Is THIS series of the same?
maybe.
But the Tone of the Dreams are Different, a whole level of Signifigence different!

I like that phrase..."sign the peace treaty but keep your gunpower dry, in storage"!
Thus i accept the real strong possibility of dying, in the next 6 to 10 months, but also accept that i may not...and Go off to a whole new way of life, here, on earth...probably will be a MAJOR life change, though...move away from tallahassee, never never to return, if i were to live!! my favorite city of 41 years of living in, on and off...move away for Good!

As i ruminated, here, before, i found that my life runs in certain year cycles. there IS a Indicator, right AT the first life cycle, where "i was to die and do not"!! just before i was to come to freshman college, here at FSU, that summer...the local Minister, in Interlaken, asked me to "come to Canada with him on the Church Canoe Trip, to help him oversee the Younger boys, to become His Right hand Man, in leadership, for the summer"
Mom told me "NO"!! she said that i had about 12 dental appointments before college and they Must be Kept!! Revenend Black actually came down to talk to my mother to try to sway here to change her mind to let me come with him to Canada! Mom held her Ground. He went to canada without me, maybe finding someone else to take My place, I had lots of dental appoinments that summer, instead!!

Over the years, i found that "canada" in dreams, represented the afterlife.
so....
As i have told others, about this event...here the Lord wanted me to be a Counselor to help Him
with the younger souls who arrive in heaven, after i die, but MOTHER Wins!! mother earth, the Need for a long life transcends even the Spirit Wishes for me to "come Home" and to do my calling up there, working with the incoming young souls. [I have actually read spirit Guide's accounts of how a long life is actually more important than near anything else if there is not a NEED, karmicly, to die at a younger age.]
Maybe this time, this cycle, where my Never-Failing Dreams Give to me the News..."prepare now"....perhaps "Mom will Win"!! I will continue to live and probably in this one, i will live till my genes wear out.....some of my male relatives lived into their late 80s, the ladies until the late 90s, i would have perhaps 20 to 30 more years yet!
Interesting, if "mom wins" though!!
[the makings of a Novel, here!!]
for if she "WINS", this means that some other spirit will take my "office" there, in the afterlife, and when i finally arrive, I will do something else instead.
wow!
all my relatives and spirit-friends all get everything prepared for my arrival in heaven and i do not show up!
I remain on earth, jamming up Everything that they do! when i eventually DO arrive, maybe in 25 years, there is not even anyone there to greet me except the "angel" that has as her Service, to greet the alone-people-without-greeters! maybe THAT is what i can do, become one of the greeters of alone souls: let the actual Counseling "jobs" go to much much more Advanced spirits!!
anyway...what an interesting Karma! the ultimate "revolutionary"! An Old Soul who remains on earth beyond his time of Homecoming so that all of the Pre-birth, preplannings, for the Heavenlife, of that returning Old Soul....are overthrown, as he remains on earth: he is missing from the spot that he is to occupy in heaven, someone else has to fill that spot. He remains on earth for years and years. maybe like almost a new incarnation, a whole new Incarnation, in the same body, as "mom wins". when he finally arrives into the afterlife, he finds that the "career" that was set for him, there, when he was suppossed to have died, has long been filled by others; there is no place for him now...so thus Spirit finds something new, instead, for him to do.

thus, even if i have to move to some remote city, in june or august of 2002, i will visit the public library from time to time to post to this weblog journal, assuming blogger is also still alive! but i may have like a whol new incarnation, in the same body, if this August of 2002 sees me still here!
I, when i lived in Ithaca, ny, the home of cornell U.......someone told me a belief of his that I always recall...
He said to me," Ya know, freestone, i can tell if a person is not committed to life".
"how", i asked....
he says, "easy to tell. Just ask him if he has a friend or not!
For if he has a friend that means that he has extra time on his hands, not committed to life!"

!

"!" indeed! Whenever i tell this to someone, they laugh nerviously, denying that this is too too extreme.
Of course Ithaca is a bit Puritanical in its Gothic Upstateness, but I Sense the truth To What He Says!!

Take me.
I, while doing whatever Incarnational Mission[s] that i have been doing, there has been little time for much else, between my constantly Moving and my projects, these days everyone i know is time-filled to the limit of their days! oh, i could go out to the mall and sit down with the depressed people and thus i could have 20 'friends".....they would be worse than enimies as they are not life-supporting!
[i like that statement;"if you choose to make friends, make friends with people who are just a bit ahead of you, on the spiritual path, so that they will be a positive influence upon you to pull you ahead, in life-growth"!]
When i lived with my sister, she had so many personal problems that her therapist actually told me, one day, that "i was responsible for having her NOT to have a nervious breakdown, by my being there for her, during her difficult times"! And every day was a "difficult time"...she soon died, another story, i had 500+ boxes to open....another article some day!!
At this same time, i got to know a very Interesting guy down the road and one day he and his wife invited me for supper, an invite for me to begin to have a friendship with them, but i told them that i was here FOR my sister and thus i could not as she comes first, in my life and her NEEDS were SO great that even one evening of not being there would not be good! Poof, one frendship Gone!
[One of my MAJOR spiritual Missions, my sister Suanna!...her needs were so great that i actually prayed to spirit that she would win *every* card game, that we often played at night, so that her weak self-image would be supported!!

I can list my friends upon practically one hand! most of them were brought to me by Spirit to
"the last picture show" them off, to be a spirit-given catylist for them, for several months, and then to see them off to a 2000 mile move and off they go for good! why there was one lady in Gainesville that i actually moved away from as she was given $2500 to finish up her PHD dissertation with, by her mother, who was dying and mother wanted her to have that degree before she died and this "would-be-lady-relationship-possibility" i killed the possibility as she LITERALLY needed every moment
for a year and *any* visit was a frank interuption, utterly, and i lived right next door and i knew that i could never never keep away so i moved!! the very day of graduation she got a job offer in the mail and in a week she moved 2000 miles to begin her life, WITHOUT me!!
friends??
---there was SAM, my childhood friend in Interlaken who I knew for 40 years on and off. His parents left for the city and he remained on the farm....soon he had 900+ acres and his resentment of me grew and grew as he had to work 25 hours a day on that farm and I just wandered around the country roads, that last 1998 year that i was there. My last image of him was he giving to me the "finger" salute, in anger, over something unknown...probably as"i was not paying the Dues" of life...suffering suffering suffering, like he did!! [never judge the Karma of another: ye know not what inner Pain and Obligational "cross' they carry in life!!]. he had a 1998 accident, paralyzed from the neck down, died in a year, but then accepted jesus as his Savior, a change of heart!
---then there is Jeff. A wonderfull friend over the years on and off whenever i moved back to Tallahassee.
about the only friend that i have left, really the only one left, all th other Tallahassee people I know only have five minutes per visit to give to me, unless i were to go with them to the club at 2 am every friday...
[like "Jim", another ex-friend]
So Jeff is the Old Soul Friend that is about the only person left
Who I Smile, Inwardly, Whenever I see Him come to my coffee table....there are very very few who i smile at, anymore! many of the people I knew, in my 50+ years of adultness, were "Missions"...anything BUT smile inwardly to see their faces appear in my day!! Missions of Obligation, of Duty, of Supportings, of
HoldingHands! So I smile inwardly and there are many things that i share both ways...He now has five kids and a "alzchimers" father living in the small house...two oldest girls are "late teens", the Hormone change...thus i can learn about all of this by hearing his accounts. Friends like "Jeff" are to be Valued!!....like old wine or some Precious Substance...oh dear, I find it hard to "eulogize/praise the friendship of an old friend!!
---"Joe"...a nephew who has now gone to live in Boston, gone 200 miles away, much to share, but yet Another who is Gone.

well...I will meet them all in heaven, there will then be much to share...but now here on earth...
I walk the "Stony Lonesone Road".....an actual name of a road in the Fingerlakes region where i was born, that Viking place of Aloneness and 200 days a year of cloudydays, a veery beautifull place, acually, one of my favorite places in the country but not for "socialness"!



Wednesday, August 15, 2001

Interesting cafes in tallahassee.

there is a coffee cafe in a caboose! a real train caboose, right next to the tracks.

then there is the "Black Dog" cafe! it is the Intellectual watering hole for tallahassee. where is it?
In the American legion hall next to the Viet Nam vet club building! yes, right in the very very exteme right of center hall, why often, they tell me, the Vets and the Hip sit at the same table and Dialogue!

then there is the coffee cafe that i go to...in a church! yes right in the church building complex...home cooked food and wonderious deserts, why they have real whipped cream from cows! due to construction in the main church building, the suday sevices are held IN the room the cafe is in! thus, for a while, i do have my lunch IN a church!
I have a GUESTBOOK now!
I just now, from the "discussion forum" in blogger, found out that there are free guestbooks out there!
www.getstring.com
just like "sitemeter.com" you who read this and have a weblog yourself, why you can have both a site counter meter AND a guestbook, just by going to these sites and signing up and linking!

so now I have a real live guestbook! it looks real good. lots of room for comments...

yes, tis amazing what is out there, if ya look!
the motto over the door of the old FSU library, from the late 1800s,
and is the motto of the "new" library, Strozier, at Florida State University
is...
"The half of knowledge is to know where to find knowledge"

that sure sure applies on the internet!

why---
did ya know...
that www.google.com. that ever-famous search engine, why i wondered for months what the "cached' link was for, at the bottom of every search result. one day i checked it out and oh boy was i sur-prised!
Seems that Google archives each and every page onto THEIR site, a clone of the original site. that does not sound so wonderfull expect that this clone is till there if the site dies!

there is life after internet death: dead sites live...

and the "404 not found" can be gotten around. why google wrote back to me telling me that once all of the MIT university Humanites records crashed and was lost, but that google had all of it on their own machines and thus could get MIT to reconstruct back their files!!
thus...one can find pages on google that no longer exist anymore on their own servers!
Interesting ride for me into the downtown, on the bus, today. Oh, nothing occurred, it just was my usual ruminations....
I thought about how strange and interesting "everyday life" is!

there is a story behind and in every little thing. The smallest event can hold all kind of relationshipal meanings with dozens and dozens of "seemingly" unrelated things around it!

the hotel Mural!
on the way to coffee after bus, as i climbed the hill, there was that new mural on the wall of the Hotel, downtown. mangement had it put there as a kind of backdrop to their new outdoor cafe that they just set up, to take advantage of the Tallahassee city's promo about revitializing the downtown.

---lokks just like a ordinary mural, a painting done by someone depicting a cafe scene with the Capital building in the bacground. there are customers at the tables and cooks and servers in the background, with Musicians and pedestians further back.

I took a closer look, last month, at it. there were the BEETLES, "crossing the street"!, from that early record album!
I noted that each of the cook's and muscian's faces looked like they were of "real" people.

One day, a few weeks ago, i saw the head manager outside setting up the tables and i asked him about the mural!
i got a small eye-opener! he showed to me Kennedy with his daughter.
the Mona Lisa!
each and every customer, cook, server, muscian...was of some local person, known to the music or resturant scene!

most people would just walk by and not notice any of this...

Tuesday, August 14, 2001

well....
there was a very interesting article in the Sunday ny Times magazine on sunday. Seems that there are many houses that have mold in them that is so toxic that the owners have to just walk out of the house leaving it just like the "mary celeste" ghost ship, dishes on the table!
Myself, i sense a profound constuction mistake is being made with the new houses of today....and i wrote " Letter to the editor". in reply, to the ny times in reference to the article.
i reproduce it, below....
=======================================

I am interested in that mold article, in the Sunday magazine, the "mold that eats houses"!
I ride a Tallahassee city bus nearly every morning.
Here, at 7 am, the temperature in August is already at 80 degrees and the dew point is about the same; tropical air so thick with moisture that one could carve a tunnel through it, walking! I note that often the bus is bathed completely in dew, condensation covers every window on the OUTSIDE of that bus. They have the air conditioning set so so low, in that bus, that i have to wear a shirt. 68 inside and 80 outside!
I betcha!
I betcha that many of these new homes that are built so airtight with a vapor barrier enclosing the whole house, with windows that cannot ever be opened, with the AC set at [shiver] 68 degrees, with the 80% morning humidity outside of that vapor barrier: I would predict that Condensation will soon cover every square inch of the outside of that barrier! Mold heaven! You could not have a better place for mold than this! Always damp, the outside walls of the barrier, but INSIDE of the outer wall where no one ever can see that condensation, as the condensation is between the walls.
Hermetically sealed houses that have a 15 to 25 degree temperature difference between just one-tenth of an inch of vapor barrier, is just asking for water condensation to form, immediately, and to have that condensation that NEVER evaporates, to cover every square inch of the outer surface of that barrier. A house built FOR mold!
In my upstate 1957 New York Hometown, of Interlaken, no one ever had a mold problem unless water actually leaked into the house. The 1950 houses were drafty, with no air conditioning, the wind always blew through the many many cracks in the walls, both inner and outer walls[ read: evaporative circulation]. Thus there never was that 20+ degree temperature range within just the thickness of a barrier: even the 50 degrees of temperature difference, in the winter, was spread out, gradually, through the eight inches, or so, of the double walls, with plenty of air blowing through the cracks to evaporate any condensation that formed.
My solution to Mold:
---build your new House with No vapor barriers at all.
---Do not set your air conditioning thermostat below 80 degrees!
---Do not over insulate.
---Have real windows that actually open, and cool the house with natural circulations from the outdoors.
In a sentence: go back to 1957, in the new House Construction techniques!
==============================================================

there. my 5 cents worth, to the ny times!
yes, i wonder.....

so many people so hermeticly seal their houses up, isolating themselves....from nature, from life...

I recall the SHOCK story about the couple who told me about how they bought a new condo and THEN they discovered that none of the windows could ever ever be opened! made for climate control, ya gotta have it 24/7/365!!
NO!
that is not the way to be......

everything is related to everything else, in every way. when you sever this, soon problems begin, i feel!
compartmentalized houses reflect, also, a compartmentalized person.
after death the Eye WILL be single, i have learned, and there will be no more "subcounscious" or comparmentalized inner self, all the boxes will be Onebox!

Monday, August 13, 2001

well I had a *very* intriging and somewhat disturbing Dream the other night!!

at the end of a series of otherwise somewhat "astral" dreams, i was led by some Guide-like person into a room. there was a blackboard on the wall, or perhaps it was like a very very large video screen, a sceen that filled the whole wall, maybe ten by ten feet in size.
what was on this screen was what looked like the planet Saturn, filling about one-fifth the sceen. the ring were seen near head on, where these rings were ALMOST, but not quite, seen from the ecliptic, the rings were seen directly overhead the "ring-equator".

now this instuctor then told me something: He referred to the Planet on the screen as he told me this statement....
"The Planet Jupiter is about to Flip over to its other side, immanently: Be Now Prepared"!

? ?
I have the Planet Jupitor nearest my rising sign, astrologically, but in the 12th house.
all my planets are on one side of the chart, also.

[i have to give the astrological background as probably it has to do with the interpetation of my dream!]

so what does this Teacher refer to? Jupiter has no real rings and it will not "flip"!
obviously a symbol of something in me. Jupiter is an important planet to me, why there was a dream years ago that infered that Jupiter and pluto, with me, is inferring something with the Timing of my Death!
{ a secret of dream interpetation, sports fans...base the symbol code upon prior dream occurances of that
"something" that needs interpeting! If you dream of "apples", say, look to see what part apples played, in your other past dreams]
so thus "jupiter" has to do with my eventual dying, the Timing of it.
eventual?!
NO!
the teacher is warning that i have no "eventual"....the "Jupiter" will flip, the Orentation will flip over to
the "other Side"...very very soon and that i must become "Prepared"...not Tomorrow, but NOW!!

---yet ANOTHER warning that i will soon leave the earth sphere....

there was a modern follower of Carl Jung who was a Jungian Theripist. she discovered, in the years of clients and their counselings, that many of them gave their first dreams to her at the beginning of the theriphy sessions; these dreams were Indicative of the Problems that they came for.
However...some of these patients soon died after the months of counselings.
This counselor soon found that the dreams of these soon-to-die patients PREDICTED the oncoming death, even if the patient was in good health and at a fairly young age!
she wrote a book of these dreams and the patients who soon died, her thesis, in her book, was that many people have uncounscious knowledge of their oncoming deaths.

would YOU want to know, sports fans [any reader of this weblog!!]
of your death-to-come? would you like to know about a year in advance so that you could become readier for it? I could see it in my ailing father, the signs...
three to six of us, the relatives, had Dreams of helping him to get ready to die....

then there was that ever-famous photo of father Dudley and his sister Ruth, the photo of the two of them at thanksgiving dinner with a Painting on the wall between them, taken about 7 or 8 years before his death. the painting was done by her husband, of a barn, husband's farm barn, a painting done from a newspaper photo OF that barn, taken by a reporter. [ he painted the picture of the barn with the newspaper clipping on the table as a guide]
the painting of this barn showed about 7 or 8 fenceposts casting long long winter shadows upon the ground, at winter sunset.
On the back of this clipping was a weather map, the temperature of upstate ny was "14 dgrees"---that was the year of dudley's birth...1914.
there was a large word next to the map
"FORCAST"
at the bottom of this backside of the barn photo clipping was the beginning of the "death notices[obituary] column. but the only word that could be seen was the huge word
"DEATH"!!

"forcast; death------in 7 or 8 years"

that was the messege of this picture for the relatives......but then again my mother had a vision back in 1965 or so...
her dream told her..."that she would die in ten years with a red sports car coming into her lane at dusk...but that her husband, dudley, would live until he was 72"!!
she dies at The Appointed Time, right down to the color of the car, and thus the dream and the photo of sister and dudley were Pointing To The Same Oncoming Event: his death.

---as i say...this gives to this journal, Quite an Edge....as IF these dreams, for me, are Real...i may have six months to nine months more, here upon the earth!!
while i was writing that food article, below, i thought of something else to say!

cystals!

there is a shop in town that sells a lot of cyrstals, crystals to use in "spiritual empowerment".
stones for this chakra and for that chakra. crystals to empower one attribute or another......
wear them around the neck, around the wrist, on the head....

I, myself, consider these stones to be
VERY VERY DANGERIOUS!

why?
because would you take 50,000 units of one vitamen "B" and ignore the rest of the b-vitamens??!
I read that all of the b-vitamens work in synthesis with each other, thus you need all of them at once.
---an "and" condition; not an "or" condition.
or maybe like that string of Christmas tree lights where all the lights must be working for the whole string of lights to light up!

these cyrstals stimulate.
they stimulate *just* the part of the vibrational boby that they are set up for. thus the wearer of these crystals are doing a Subtle-body stimulation that corresponds to a weight-lifter that develops just ONE muscle, and no others, on his body! a person that stimulates just, say, the third chakra, he could be unbalancing the whole chakra system in his body, by that overstimulation there.

I would imagine that the whole body must be stimulated as a whole, each part of it is in relational connection to the rest of it. Just like everything that you do is inter-related one thing to another thing...
yes tis monday morning and the first day of school for the kids.

I have come to the conclusion that if you want to make sure of what goes into your mouth, for food, ya GOTTA be NEUROTIC!
gotta be so so carefull, or else you get crud instead of food!

to wit.
yesterday at the mall i went over to the yogurt counter, at least they sell frozen yogurt soft "ice cream" there. I ordered a small cup of it. as the girl was getting it from the machine, i noticed the small little printed sign on the soft-freeze yogurt mix machine. i had to squint.
"made with NUTRASWEET"!!
yuuch! cancel cancel.......

so i propose: you have to be very very picky unto neuroticism to be sure of what you eat, these days!
or else, you eat nutrasweet, soybuger, and who knows what else!

I have met kids who do not know what a homemade cookie tastes like!
Back in my home town, the apt underme that shared the same air system, why the two Teens
who lived with their father after the Bad Divorce, why they cooked By the Burn Method! they go to tv and whatever is on the stove soon enough begins to burn until they smell it and then they run, cussing up a storm, to rescue what is left.
stupid of me to use my smoke detector, i immediately took out the batteries never never to use them again!!
for these kids, why PIZZA is the foundation of their Nutrition!

my aunt makes homemade "everything", why one day years ago, i came to visit and she offered me "just" a piece of plain white cake. why i spent twenty minutes on that cake, slowly enjoying every bite, as it was made from scratch, no cake mix here!

I have found that I need meat as well as fruits..vegies..etc...
but i have found that anything"artifical" does strange things to my body and to my mind.
even the store package cookies that are "torerable" Do Strange Things To My Mind: perhaps the
unbalanced chemical composition of the chemical artificalness is assimilated in unbalanced ways, as the Genetic programmings of my body are not equipped to handle Processed Food!

Friday, August 10, 2001

interesting!
the other day I bought a jar of jam at Publix. tis was a very very good jar of strawberry, almost homemade, it was tasting like.
I went immediately back to Publix to the shelf and there i checked all the Smucker's strawberry jam jars.
I noted and wrote down, back home, the batch number of the jar...there were four more jars of that *exact* batch number, on the shelf. i bought ALL of them!
this is, i guess, Sensitivity at Work! i have discovered that these jars-in-batches, are clones, as maybe thousands of jars come from one giant kettle, and the individual box that the grocer gets has maybe ten jars of that same-batch. If the mumber is not the same, the taste will not be the same!
I find this to be true with EVERY food! even the homoginized looking "sue bee honey" jars, why every batch number of "clover" honey is utterly different from the other batches.
thus...
jam is not jam...that jar of orange malmalade you buy today is not the same jam that you buy next month, if it comes from another batch!

I find this to be true even with individual fruit trees! each tree or plant, unless cloned or got from graftings,
will have different tasting fruit: my mother's pasture must have had ten or more different tasting blackberry plants, even though they were of the species "blackcap raspberry"!
my!
there are so many rings out there of creative people, sites. Something for everyone!
yes yes!

so again i welcome any readers to my site, my journal.

too, I have about 20 of my visions of the afterlife written up on another site.
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/freestonefiles
or...just click on that link to your left, on the sidebar!

yes, I have about 20 of them written up, along with my accounts of my ALIEN ABDUCTIONS and a few
EARTHCHANGE prophetic visions....plus writtings on AUTISM and a few general writtings.

yes, two way conversations with relatives, seeing heavenlands, seeing Guides and masters, like Sai baba
and Jesus.....I have an interesting life!! sure does puts the material world into proper perspective, like my introduction says!

Thursday, August 09, 2001

A quiet day. All the college kids are gone, between summer school and fall. the mental Noise is gone!
being a ole psychic empath has given to me a richness of sensings, but oh the Price for it! All the mental/emotional states of the people around me bleed into me! I can feel the depressions, say, of someone at the next table over. I have TWO options in the matter. One---I can leave. Two---I can go over to the table and talk with him and enable healing to be done. there is no "third" option, which would be to ignore or shield this pickup of his depression, like all the "advice" of the counselors give!
why?
Because for me to cease the pickup is to NOT FEEL at all, as it is pretty near that there is ONE entity here, not two!

tis amazing how i can sit next to a person who is physically calm, but i feel very very "antsey" picking up his restless state.

so.
to cure the depression in me, with his presence, that depressed person next to me, i would have to cure him!

Wednesday, August 08, 2001

so many weblogs, so little time....

as i understand heaven, now....
in heaven time is really really different. i would know to the depths the meaning of "Eternity"!!

as---if i were to be talking to someone and right in the middle of the conversation, someone else were to come up to me and introduce himself and then i want to know him....why i could just walk away in midsentence and go LIVE with this guy and share life experiences for months and months and months---and when i finally leave him and go back to the first guy, why i can complete that sentence that i broke, as NO time has elapsed in this first person's reality at all.
thus i could relate to 1000 people in a matter of seconds, spending years and years with that 1000 people!!
sorta like a ten foot length of paper, at RIGHT ANGLES that sheet is 1/10th of an inch thick.
there is an infinity, probably, of "right angles' in heaven.
my dreams are SO interesting!!

like:

the other night, i had some astral experience worth writing about, an out of body experience.
I spent the entire night with a group of young men, maybe even late teen, in age. the feeling of the group was "male Wicca"! there was talk of Magik and how it works and how to achieve some mastery in it.
there was showings of how to cast spells and how to Get results.....too too bad that i never can really remember all of these dreams, they are so so "otherworldy" that there are few personal life-associational-hooks, to pin the memories onto, when i wake up!

evidently the six to ten men were attending a "class" of some kind, in the spirit world that is just above the earth level of vibrations. the next level up, thusly. here the earth and the spirit intermingle and in these dreams, i find, if, say, two people come together from two separate bedrooms to meet, they each will bring their own scenery with them! that is, i dream that i am in my own childood bedroom, meeting a guy there, but this guy will dream that he is in HIS childhood bedroom, meeting me who comes into his bedroom.
too---the ten "kids" in this dream may not have been kids! the bodies of the kids may actually be the soul-shapes of older people who astral travel in bodies that are twenty years younger than their earthly age at the currant earth times...
[yes, the phrase " i will see you in my dreams" may have real real reality!]

yes, we all flew above the ground from place to place, about ten feet off of the spirit-ground. there was some central instructor, older than the men who came to him, who was giving the mage instructions to them all: not a Formal inituation, mind you, but an informal discourse on magik with "examples" and having the "kids" practice some of it on their own.

I got the feeling, here, that the instructor was not "lording" it over with the "kids"...the feeling that i awoke with was that this instructor was "empowering" everyone to be and to become their own "Mage-ness", their own powers to develop without need for some outer masterly figure to be present, beyond the instructor-levels!

RPGs for Real....

Tuesday, August 07, 2001

One day, in my 1993 Interlaken Library, i found a book in the "133.3 psychic section" just about the only book IN that section; after all this library filled one room in a converted house! A good library in a town of 600 people.
the book was called..."Dundee Dreaming".
written by a lady who was a reporter for the Dundee, ny, town paper for years, around the 70s. she ALSO attended the "Seth Speaks" classes in Elmira. Dundee, ny, is a town of about 3000 people, about 90 miles from Interlaken. that is why this book was here, perhaps.
she had a column in the paper for years..."Dundee Dreaming" . she would ask the residents of Dundee to send in their accounts of their dreams, especially the "psychic" ones!

I recall two amazing accounts from this here book, accounts that should make you very very Humble, as it did for me!
one....there was an accident where one of the "home town founding father's" sons had died in a sailing accident on Seneca lake. he was the son of this "pillar of the community" family, of Dundee.
Now what struck me as amazing, here, was that this lady had, weeks and months before, over ONE HUNDRED dreams foretelling his death, in symbolic code! over one hundred people had clairvoyant previews of this accident-to-come!! months and weeks ahead of it!
from this:.....
----we are all interconnected, we all help each other to be born and we all help each other to get ready to die. like: there were three or five of us in the family that had dreams for about four years to help my father get ready to die! I mean dreams of actually visiting him in Spirit in out-of-body experiences to Counsel and console him.
-----there are some events that are set up before we are born and thus everyone knows in advance the "Play lines", in the script of such a life with "fated" events!

now the other event of this book was from her own personal life...
she was getting over a Bad Divorce[ don't we all these days?!] and she came back to her family farm, way out in the country from Dundee, one day, to meditate upon her new found freedoms. she visited the old carrage house, now empty, and being restored. she went to her old childhood haunt, in the house; the attic. she spent a lot of her childhood there, she loved to look out of the nine-paned old window, upon the family garden and the mountains.
when she climbed the stairs she noted with surprise that the restorers had replaced the nine panes with four panes, but of course she had not been in the house for years. when she went over to the window, though, she was shocked to discover that the putty around these panes looked OLD!
---as if these panes were always there!
no!! she knew very very well that there were nine panes, after all she spent over TEN years of her childhood there, it was her "soul refuge"...she would KNOW the number of the panes!

she became near-hystarical when she asked her old uncle who was living there..."oh, the window?
It has been left untouched by the restorers, it always has had four panes in it, even from the very first of the building in 1880!".
she ran to an old photo album. yes there was an old photo of the carrage house, from about 1890, long long before she was born and YES....there were four panes!!

she had to accept, that her great freedom from that TERRIBLE relationship, gave to her a "wider vantageview
upon the world", now. [four panes make more of a viewing area, in the window!]....four panes symbolized that freedom.
thus the window changed to reflect her inner reality, and changed in every physical object too, like in old photos and tax roll descriptions and Insurance writups!
backdated...this change!
and...everyone who ever knew this window would now have their "files updated" in their memory too!

but is WAS nine panes! she Knew that.
absolutely, i belive her!

here, the inner and outer are not only interconnected: the outer reality can be changed utterly by a change in the inner!

I will let this account speak for itself, as the Implications of this...AND the "hundred people precognitating
the death of the Son of Dundee"...are AWESOME, utterly Incredible!

Ponder these.........
my that was a lot of rain!

10 inches!

cars floated.
lakes became amebas that Grew and Ate.

I always figured that weather and man are Connected. No, i do not mean in the "polution/global warming sense"! I mean that the weather that anyplace has is somehow connected to the soul-state of the collective people's who live in that place.

example.
I had a 1978 aquantance who regularly attended the Seth lectures, in person, at Elmira, ny...about 60 miles from Ithaca where he lived. he would be one of the classmates in her class where "seth spoke "
through jane Roberts.
this guy told me that many of the Seth speakings never never got into any of her books!

In 1972, Elmira had about 20 inches of rain and this was catostrophic as even two inches of rain, in that part of the country, is a LOT of rain. the city is in a flat valley surrounded by mountains and you can just imagine! there was water up to at least the second floor of every house and building there!

this city was 1972 Depressed. industry had left, only poverty ruled. plywood for storefronts.

So Seth said that the collective souls of this region INVOKED this flood to try to "flush out all of the crud, the negativity, of this region"!

I belive that. i belive that happened. "weather" is not an accident, just like anything around us is not an "accident"!

Monday, August 06, 2001

well i am back from my Macdonald's now...back to the library, the only dry place in town. yes, my normal nice cafe is closed, in the storm...

funny....
I lived in Thaca new york, back in the 70s. i lived only a few blocks from the ever
famous Moosewood Resturant, that wonderfull vegie food Co-operative resturant. I ate there maybe once per week. maybe twice.
i could not afford to eat there regulary.
NO!
not the cost i mean by that....!!

my body could not afford it.
Moosewood fed my soul, with its homecooked vegeterian food. but i had also more importantly to feed my body! there was a diner around the corner, very *very* conservative almost neo-nazi in politics, but they had thick jucy slabs of real pork roast and roast beef and thick potato home-fries.
feed my body, before my soul, i ate there mostly. About six buildings down from moosewood.
one half of the regulars belonged to the john birch society [really!!]. strickly 1948 decor and 1949 people.
people who were LIVID over that paved over main street where there was now green and benches and art festivals and music!! they vowed never to set foot in that mall!! The 5pm regular-est customer was the vice-president of the local chapter of the Birch society.

so why?!
why did I do this, submit to "body over soul"?!

why would i be sure to have boots before the hike?!
why would i have a good car before a long trip.
why would i have a good foundation under my house before i even begin to build it?!
.......that foundation is even MORE important than the house on top of it, of course.
gotta have a healthy body before the soul can Come On Its Own!
[the secret meaning of the grail Cup revealed!! the cup must be there first in order for Spirit to be thus contained within it! HOW in heck can one become "saved' unless there is a "YOU {ego} there first?!
How can you face God face-to-face, some far off day, unless you first grow a face?!]

there is something Mysterious , i find, about the "world"! I find that i have to live here FIRST before i go on to heaven....
maybe i can cease my ramblings by quoting someone....
he says...this writer,
"it is said that we Americans are too worldly, too materialistic. I say that it is the opposite: that we all are too too UNworldly! for we do not live in the world, and we should be more earthy. Just look at all the resturants where people seem not to go to eat! the food is terrible! why if people actually went to a place to taste the food and enjoy the senses...why half the resturants would very soon go out of business! no one notices the sunsets, they all are living in their heads as they walk, absorbed in their heads, along the evening sidewalks!"