Monday, December 10, 2001

nearly got kicked out of the Library today!

seems that the new Director saw me looking at a game review site! She walks around often, peering at the computer screens and she saw that i was Not Doing Serious Reseach!
I went up and talked to people upstairs and then an Understanding dawned.

seems that many homeless and other "real" students just use the computers for games and porno and clog up the system. me with my somewhat raggy clothes have more in common with the homeless, than with the carded, "real" students.

looks like a "small me against the heartless system of Management?!!
NOT SO!

There was a wonderfull Commune, in the 70s, near Ithaca new york. the highest vibes...the best people...the most pretty scenery. it attracted many many visitors...
soon, people came just to bring "their dirty laundry"!.....their negative vibes. the commune had BEEN DISCOVERED! soon it became a haven for the angry and the depressed!
---just like of a resort that "gets discovered"....soon all the area around it becomes one strip mall!

sorta sad to say, this downstairs basement, in this library: many homeless men come in and use the computers. they play games and they play PORNO and i noticed that i cannot sit in that area of the library even when they are gone for the day, these four or seven guys, as the VIBES are so so bad there!!
so this Library supervisor NEEDED to clean house! too...she said how some people, either students or not, had used the computers to try to make a killing on the E-business...perhaps multi-marketings and spam!
Clean house... takes the innocent out with the bad!

[that old library struggle: the conflict between the Staff whether they are there to Serve the public...or to protect the books!]

bad?!
here i sit, confronting, somewhat, what many of the "Conservative" people say about the "homeless"!
they put the homeless down as being "dirty" or "bad attitudes".
the advocates for the homeless say that of course the homeless have bad attitudes and be dirty as they have been stepped upon by everyone...they know well enough that the sign on the door of McDonalds
that says..."you can only sit here for 40 minutes" pertains EXACTLY to THEM! of course they are angry!
they would also be angry that no one lets them in the library to play games and to see porno!
the advocates for them might say..."what is left for these people....maybe the only thing left is for them just to go out and get drunk all of the time!

---reminds me of that article a few years ago about that homeless guy who used daily the Newark new jersey main library: he stunk SO bad that staff and patrons gagged and near passed out....they kicked him out.
he went to legal aid and sued the library and he WON! now he goes in every day VICTORIOUS and unwashed and everyone has to accept his dirt smell.

there IS no solution: when ya purge a system of deviency you remove the SUPER-SANE as well as the INSANE!
but what I have to deal with, is this: when i get near *any* of the tallahassee homeless men[women too!], most of the time i feel "dirty" in vibe-pickup! like that "peanuts" character who sheds dirt like of a rainstorm, around him, where-ever he walks...what is the word......yes, "SLEAZE"! a mixture of depression...anger, with a centeredness near the lower chakras!
as if they were like "dogs eating off of the table of a formal dinner party's table"!!
Having Monkeys over for a lunch date!

Young souls, probably, the homeless...tinctured with a very bad childhood! everything around them is too too much for them to understand.
they fell off of the "track", and cannot get back on! what they probably need, the young souls, is to be born in a conservative christian family, where they grow up being Believers who belive in the litteral Bible and are *very* fundamental in their way of life! when grown up, these young soul kids....they would be the unimaginative business people who do things by "formula", and if the formula works, they often are "better off", financially, than most of the readers of this weblog! that is...as long as they adhere ridgidly to that formula!!

well...i guess i cannot look at game review sites anymore for awhile....

I fear that even this "near death stuff' might not be to the library staff's likenings....

so IF i vanish some day from the journal, it probably is that i have not died, it merely may mean that i cannot use public computers anymore! why for a disability pension person, like of me, my "half full cup" of a Pension means that the telephone[internet connections] is something far far too expensive for me to indulge in!