Wednesday, October 24, 2001

that post i wrote yesterday about my aunt!!

alas.
I feel a bit the GUILTY ONE!

as.....

she is a family person and i am not.
i got to thinking what it means to be a family person. i never married and never have kids---i Do Not Know!

seems the sea Anemone settles down and digs a hole in the rock and never moves. when a person has five kids and belongs to the church, the circle closes and then one becomes "settled" and conservative by ARCHTYPE DEFAULT! i am a lone wolf, the batchelor bull.

what i sense is that once a person marrys and settles down to "home-kids-family" the life is seen now as
"the wagon train circles around the evening campfire, for protection against the evils of the world, for the sake of the children" all threatening weirdos are indeed a threat, if they approach---ideas too!

I see it now, a story for a novel: the hippie grows up, the social civil rights activist marries and has four kids and one kid has an expen$ive medical problem and they have a nice house in suburbia. one day the head of the neighborhood committee comes by and tells him that a family of mexicans is trying to buy a house four houses down from this guy and that IF this occurs the property values of the house he owns will fall by 60%!!. he will not be able to support the medical fees for his son.
suddenly he realizes not only why the neighborhood blacklisted the blacks in his own father's day: he realizes that he must vote to keep out the mexicans as HIS FAMILY MUST COME FIRST! the welfare of his wife and three kids must come before any abstract idea! he bonds with his father's way; acceepting why his father did what he did, he now joins the "human race", in "family values....now all his ex-hippie friends who are still single must be put away for good, never to be talked to again!
----oh what a terrible idea for a novel!

so here i am.....no family.
whole religions have it where one MUST be married before even one gets to heaven!
Mormons. gotta be a family or else one is not saved.
as my friend says about the Gardejeffian way.....[at least the books that he agrees with: he has five kids!]
he says that in order to progress into the higher centers one must activate ALL the centers that are in the earthly human area. home and family is the number one archtype and one must activate the "householder' way of life or else the 'scafforld" is not complete: one is not a complete human being unless one has a family....he says to me! what he really says is that one's spiritual path is blocked: stopped---unless one has a family sometime in their lifetime!

"justification"?!
or more than a bit of truth?
anyhoo.....I Do Not measure Up!

but is SUSPECT that most of the afterlife realms that are "nice" to live in, are "social group centered, and mostly around the family and the relatives. leaves me utterly out out out! i do not really understand or get along with any of my relatives and my mother and father are long gone to heaven.

---i wonder what heaven i will get accepted into, or is there a heaven for Lone Wolves?