Wednesday, August 22, 2001

I had an interesting experience at the cafeteria yesterday!!

seems as i went down the line, where I ordered my roast beef, i chose to tell the server that "i want
please for the gravey to be put in a dish on the side". I got an interesting reaction from her!

seems that i could actually feel her RAGE, her anger that she had to do that for me, to go for just a moment to get a dish and put some juice in it to give to me! anger way way out of porportion for such an asking for act: after all, they are supposed to be there to serve?!!

well....i thought for a moment, at my table...I tried to put myself into her shoes and tried to IMAGINE why she might be so so angry at having to do this small extra step.

[warning: stereotype thinking will occur, here, must occur here, as there are no ways that i can know the life of the server personally]

yes the server.
the job is awfull, of course. even if the company is a good company to work for, the very work conditions are not of the best, on your feet all day and everyone tell ya what to do!
too...i can just imagine that everyone tells her what to do and that is the trouble! everyone wants her to do this and do that...she has three kids with no husband and maybe each kid has a different father.
the parole people are on her last guy for skipping, and she herself is on parole too for drugs and that Complex she lives in has more drugs and booze than you want to know! the child support people made her go to work...her benefits run out...so "workfare" is her fate! her social worker, her parole officer, her man, the kids, the "ex" with his restraining order---all tell her what to do and to get fucked!
her car is about to give out, the toilet does not work and the landord is a company in new jersey!
she is behind on e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g...the lights the phone the car, the medicine for the kids and maybe you, reader, might give to her $900 right now this second for medicine for the kids: she will need more money of course tomorrow and the day after.....no matter HOW much you give it will never never be enough, she will come at ya with "real Needs" each and every day!

of couse she has anger! she wants and no one gives! she wants love and she sleeps with anyman who gives to her a bit. she wants Respect, she wants to feel attended too---so many needs and wants and everyone around her seems to get a few of them taken care of but her...and just LOOK at all those
rich uppity white-ies that come through the line with everything going for them and they tell her what to do for them.

yipes!
a Young Soul on the Learning Path! every attempt at life turns into trouble...she is given all the emotional Drives that come with being a human being, with no self disipline or intellect to handle life and to handle her great emotional needs.

in my home town diner cafe, for three years as went there... hearing from the young ladies who worked
behind the counter, why i would hear the same words over and over and over, every single day and i would hear all of them in about twenty or thirty minutes.
----restraining order.
----fight
----drunk
----accident
----my ex
---jail
---fuck
----social worker
----police/sherrif
----bitch
ah so........how can you teach a man to fish for himself, instead of just giving him a fish a day...when he knows not what a pole is, a line is, a hook is, a worn is!! or even that one CAN fish!?