Thursday, July 19, 2001

yet another morning bus ride to coffee shop and i see this here lady walking the street. she has just left the Shelter, i have seen her now for years and she has a *very*, to me, interesting soul-expression!

she must be about 30. hard to tell her age. her body is wracked. tis an amazing way her soul has Chosen to express itself, in this Incarnation. all emotion and emotion to the max, using every single bit of her "hard drive"
for each emotional vent.
to call her "emotional", as a psychological personality, would be like calling the blast from a hydrogen bomb..."warm"!
even the smallest bit of emotional feeling, is expressed full tilt all stops out and for hours and hours!
I have seen her bawling and crying for what must have been hours, crying over something that I[or you] may only have a twinge over.
---I knew of a man once who put a chevy 300 HP V-8 engine into a VW bug car!! the engine sat *in* the back seat, the engine ate up every bit of space: but oh he could make that car scream----this is how this lady is wired!!

this bus morning i saw her near in convulsions as she walked along the sidewalk, her head snapping from side to side, arms jerking....afterall, if you put the power of an elephant into the body of a fly, so that the
elephant had to "come through" the fly...well...that fly would indeed be spasming!
surely if she writes email to people,
*EVERY* SENTENCE WOULD LOOK LIKE THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
with 57 !!! marks after *each* and every sentence!
she would *want* the size of the letters to be about a foot high, mere "caps" is all the computer can do, she would have her letters at least 12" high, on the screen!

of course she is homeless: would you want to be a friend of hers, would you want to hire her?!
With every tiny emotion expressed to the max, expressed physically as much as her little body can muster for as long as her energy can push it, for hours and hours for each emotional emote...who could live with her?
---I wonder---
i wonder if there is a culture or a time where her way of being would be "normal"?! maybe there is a place on this planet, once, where this emotionality is "normal"...or at least acceptable.
Ah, but here and now, she Is Alone. no counseling can help, as there is no room on her "hard drive" of a brain for words, concepts, or knowledge: no counseling can reach her needs!
Drugs? would need 599 tabs of "prozac" a day to even begin to calm the emotional typoons of hers, i suspect.

so i wonder what kind of soul she has? what will be her afterlife and what was a life in a prior incarnation?! what lesson is she learning?